you don't wanna know how much time i've spent on this


I had promised a KiriBaku kid something like months ago, and tbh most of the reason why it took me this long is because I couldn’t pick between these two so?? In the end just have them both I guess - some info about them under cut, in case you wanna know more!!

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÷ Sentence Starters
  • "I was born inside a small town."
  • "Friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride."
  • "And when the world's against me, is when I really come alive."
  • "I need to get in the right mind and clear myself up."
  • "I look in the mirror, questioning what I've become."
  • "I'm well aware of certain things that can destroy a man like me."
  • "I am happy on my own so here I'll stay."
  • "I used to think that nothing could be better than touring the world with my songs."
  • "I chased the picture perfect life, I think they painted it wrong."
  • "I think that money is the route of all evil, and fame is hell."
  • "Ain't nobody want to see you down in the dumps."
  • "You're living your dream and this should be fun."
  • "I beg you don't be disappointed with the man I've become."
  • "I guess you know I've been away."
  • "Where I'm heading, who knows?"
  • "My heart will stay the same."
  • "I was younger then."
  • "I found my heart and broke it here."
  • "I can't wait to go home."
  • "I miss the way you make me feel."
  • "We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill."
  • "Had my first kiss on a Friday night... I don't reckon I did it right."
  • "Maybe I came on too strong."
  • "Maybe I waited too long."
  • "Maybe I played my cards wrong."
  • "Baby I apologise for it."
  • "I've been known to give my all."
  • "Don't call me baby unless you mean it."
  • "Don't tell me you need me if you don't believe it."
  • "So let me know the truth before I dive right into you."
  • "You're a mystery."
  • "I have traveled the world and there's no other girl like you."
  • "What's your history?"
  • "Do you have a tendency to lead some people on? 'Cause I heard you do."
  • "The club isn't the best place to find a lover."
  • "Girl, you know I want your love."
  • "Your love was handmade for somebody like me."
  • "I may be crazy, don't mind me."
  • "Boy, let's not talk too much, grab on my waist and put that body on me."
  • "I'm in love with the shape of you."
  • "We push and pull like a magnet do."
  • "I'm in love with your body."
  • "Now my bedsheets smell like you."
  • "Although my heart is falling, too, I'm in love with your body."
  • "I never knew you were the someone waiting for me."
  • "We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was."
  • "I will not give you up this time."
  • "Darling, just kiss me slow."
  • "Darling, you look perfect tonight."
  • "Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know."
  • "She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home."
  • "We are still kids, but we're so in love."
  • "I know we'll be alright this time."
  • "Be my girl, I'll be your man."
  • "I see my future in your eyes."
  • "I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight."
  • "I know I have met an angel in person."
  • "You look perfect tonight."
  • "Baby, I just want to dance."
  • "She shared a cigarette with me while her brother played the guitar."
  • "You know she beat me at darts and then she beat me at pool."
  • "She kissed me like there was nobody else in the room."
  • "I was holding her hand, her hand was holding mine."
  • "I swear I'm going to put you in a song that I write."
  • "You look happier."
  • "I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours."
  • "Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain't nobody love you like I do."
  • "Promise that I will not take it personal if you're moving on with someone new."
  • "You look happier, you do, my friends told me one day I'll feel it, too."
  • "I'll smile to hide the truth, but I know I was happier with you."
  • "Everything's reminding me of you."
  • "You're happier, aren't you?"
  • "I know that there's others that deserve you, but my darling, I am still in love with you."
  • "I know I was happier with you."
  • "I knew one day you'd fall for someone new."
  • "If he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I'll be waiting here for you."
  • "Tribal tattoos and he don't know what it means."
  • "But I heard he makes you happy so that's fine by me."
  • "I'm just keeping it real."
  • "I'll be trying not to double tap, from way back, cause I know that's where the trouble's at."
  • "Let me remind you of the days when you used to hold my hand and when we sipped champagne."
  • "I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn't superman, just a young boy trying to be loved."
  • "If it was meant to be, you wouldn't be calling me up trying to fuck."
  • "I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me."
  • "I know you're missing all this kind of love."
  • "In the back of the club kissing a boy that ain't him."
  • "You're still a young girl trying to be loved."
  • "When you're with him I know you're lonely."
  • "Please, remember you're still free, to make the choice and leave."
  • "She is the sweetest thing that I know."
  • "You should see the way she holds me when the lights go low."
  • "Oh we're in love, aren't we?"
  • "I feel safe when you're holding me near."
  • "Love the way that you conquer your fear."
  • "You know hearts don't break around here."
  • "Spent my summer time beside her, and the rest of the year the same."
  • "She is the lighthouse in the night that will safely guide me home."
  • "I'm not scared of passing over or the thought of growing old, because from now until I go, every night I'll kiss you."
  • "We could change this whole world with a piano."
  • "I'm just a boy with a one-man show."
  • "Love could change the world in a moment."
  • "The revolution's coming, it's a minute away."
  • "I know, I'm all for people following their dreams."
  • "The future's in the hands of you and me."
  • "You are the one, girl."
  • "How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?"
  • "So tell me that you love me, too."
  • "We were sat upon our best friend's roof, I had both of my arms round you, watching the sunrise replace the moon."
  • "We were sitting in a parked car, stealing kisses in the front yard."
  • "I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up."
  • "A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved."
  • "I hope that I see the world as you did."
  • "A life with love is a life that's been lived."
  • "I've got two left feet and a bottle of red wine."
  • "We're going somewhere where the sun is shining bright."
  • "You're like something that God has sent me."
  • "I lost my shoes last night, I don't know where I put my keys."
  • "I get lonely and make mistakes from time to time."
  • "My heart is breaking at the seams and I'm coming apart now."
  • "Always say what's on your mind."
  • "I was twenty four years old when I met the woman I would call my own."
  • "Her daddy said, 'No, you can't marry my daughter.'"
  • "I'm gonna marry the woman I love."
  • "Never had I seen such beauty before."
  • "I never worried about the king and crown."
  • "I gave all my oxygen to people that could breath."
  • "I gave away my money and now we don't even speak."
  • "I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me."
  • "Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels."
  • "I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills."
  • "All the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf."
  • "So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself."
  • "I'm here again, between the devil and the danger."
  • "Before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself."
  • "Before I love someone else, I've got to love myself."
Dirk Gently's S1 recap transcript
  • Dirk: Where to begin? This show is sort of about...a lot. name is Dirk Gently. I'm a holistic detective and by that, I mean, I investigate cases not through pesky thinking and logic and deduction, but in a more naturalistic way. Then I just sort of wander around and trust the universe to use me to work out the problems that need solving. I'm handsome, brave, unstoppably tough, gifted, stunningly intelligent, and just generally capable of anything I put my mind to. I was hired to investigate the murder of reclusive billionaire Patrick Spring, which is how I met my assistant, Todd--
  • Todd: Stop! Stop. I'm not your assistant.
  • Dirk: Sidekick?
  • Todd: No. I am...a guy you know. I am your friend. I'm not your assistant when you explain to people who you are. I'm Todd Brotzman. I used to be the lead singer of a punk band, but that kinda fell apart. I made a lot of mistakes, I was working at the hotel where Patrick Spring was murdered. That's how I met Dirk. He broke into my apartment, hijacked my life into total chaos. We ended up on the run from a cult, trapped in an underground maze, kidnapped, and finally going back in time. Honestly, we couldn't have done any of it without Farah.
  • Farah: Did you say my name?
  • Todd: Yeah! I was talking about the cult.
  • Farah: Hey, we promised not to talk about that. I find it very triggering.
  • Todd: Well, you wanna--
  • Farah: Black. Farah Black. I've always wanted to be in the military or the law enforcement, but I had certain setbacks that stopped me from achieving this. So, I have a very specific skill set which is often very useful in high intense situations. I was Patrick Spring's bodyguard and took it upon myself to find his daughter after he was killed, and that's how I met Dirk, Todd, and his sister.
  • Amanda: His sister. Really? That's all I get? His sister?
  • Farah: I don't mean to be rude but--
  • Amanda: Yeah, cause that's just who I am, his sister. Like am I worth even being rude to? I'm so beneath you, I don't even get a name?
  • Farah: I...uhh...okay. Why don't you just--
  • Amanda: Just kidding. I am Amanda fucking Brotzman. I spent the last 5 years of my life trapped by a disease called pararibulitis, it causes painful hallucinations that feel completely real. My brother was my hero, my role model, until I found out he lied to me about basically everything. I thought my life was over until I met the Rowdy 3, a group of anarchist vampires who can feed on the energy of my disease. So, I'm with them now.
  • Ken: Trapped with a bunch of crazies? I can relate to that.
  • Amanda: Uhhh...who are you?
  • Ken: I'm Ken.
  • Amanda: Did we even meet each other in the first season?
  • Ken: I was kinda busy. I was hired to do some grid hacking by some shady types, but then I got kidnapped by a woman I thought was insane. At first, I was her hostage, but she showed me something incredible: that there was a pattern to the universe, that there might me a bigger purpose, a greater plan to everything. This mass murderer I found--
  • Bart: Huh? Murderer? Come on, I don't murder people. I just kill them.
  • Ken: That's murder, yes.
  • Bart: Words words words. Murder is a mean word. Don't be mean to me or I'll kill you...nicely. I'm an assassin, my name is Bart. Nothing can hurt me. I'm guided by the will of destiny itself to kill all of the people who are supposed to die, so far, that's pretty much everybody who I meet. I've killed tons of thousands of people across the world and will kill tons of thousands more because...that's just how it is. Death comes for everybody, and if death won't get you, I will.
  • Dirk: So basically, it's kind of a long story, but it turns out: the kitten was in a shark, the girl was in the dog, the body swapping machine was actually a time machine, the fat man was a rockstar, I was the gorilla, and Patrick Spring accidentally murdered himself. And they all lived happily ever after!
  • Friedkin: Uh, excuse me, we're not done here. My name is Hugo Friedkin. I was in the army reserves when I was pulled onto a special, top secret mission for a program called Blackwing. It, uh...didn't go perfect. But I did my best and they put me in charge of the whole operation, 'cause that's how the government works, I guess! It seemed to me, the best course of action is also always the biggest, so I did that. I took action. I took everything. So, um, season 2 is just me winning and everyone congratulating me, I guess.
  • Voice: We'll see.

anonymous asked:

I know you don't write wayhaught but, i was wondering if you could write a soft and fluffy wayhaught cuddling fic? I've been in a big wayhaught mood lately soo

A/N: I have gotten a couple requests for these two, and since I love them as a couple and my boss (and half of my office) is out today…why not? Sorry if I haven’t quite gotten their characters down as well yet! It’s the first time I’m writing them

It wasn’t as though Purgatory stopped functioning when it snowed…no, they were too used to the bitter winters and blizzards to act like their American neighbors down south. But just because Waverly had lived there her whole life didn’t mean she had to like everything about the town—and winters? They were simply not her thing.

“Hey, baby! Wanna come keep me warm :)” Waverly texted Nicole on one particularly blustery afternoon.

Nicole hesitated. On the one hand, yes. All of the yes. But on the other hand, she was at work, and Nedley was finally trusting her enough to be in charge of the precinct when he was out, to take on bigger cases and supervise investigations. “Can it wait one hour for my shift to end?” Nicole sent back.

“Fineee…” A few minutes later: “I miss you.”

Nicole chewed on her lower lip. She missed Nicole too, and ever since they got rid of whatever that goo demon was inside of her, she’d wanted to spend as much time as possible with her girlfriend. Because now she tasted like her Waverly again, felt and acted like her Waverly—and not just sometimes, always. “I miss you too, sweetie,” Nicole sent back. “Counting down the minutes…unless you wanted to come here? Nedley isn’t in…”

Waverly grinned, glad to see that Nicole was still as excited about their relationship as she was, still as enthralled with her as she was with Nicole, still as insatiable when it came to the hours they spent together up in Waverly’s bedroom at the Homestead or in Nicole’s apartment or the Sheriff’s office or, a couple of times, in the backseat of Nicole’s police cruiser. “I’d love to, but it’s too cold.”

Nicole tried not to laugh, though all she could picture was Waverly bundled up, clutching her hot chocolate, complaining loudly about the not unseasonably cold winters in the town she chose to call home all these years. “I promise I’ll warm you up so soon!”

“Holding you to it!”

As soon as Nicole got off work, she drove over to the Homestead, stopping only to pick up a bag of the mini marshmallows she knew Waverly loved to add to her cocoa. “Waves!” she called up when the door didn’t immediately fly open.

“It’s open!” Waverly yelled.

Nicole popped her head through the door, pushing it shut and locking it back up—after all, Purgatory might be a small town, but it wasn’t the kind of place where she felt okay with whomever (or whatever) might creep through her door in the middle of the night.

“Where are you, baby?” Nicole yelled.

“Up in my bedroom,” Waverly called back.

Nicole grinned, wondering if perhaps the door had been left open to allow Waverly an entrance of sorts—maybe another surprise performance in that cheerleading uniform? She definitely wouldn’t mind an uninterrupted dance from a non-gooed Waverly.

But when she made it up the stairs, she was greeted with a very different sight: Waverly curled up in her bed, all four of her basic blankets wrapped around her with her bonus blanket draped across her lap. “Aren’t you just adorable?” Nicole laughed.

“What happened to beautiful and sexy?” Waverly pouted.

“Oh, definitely those too. Definitely. It’s just a little harder to tell when all I can see are your eyes and your nose,” Nicole teased.

“Mm, maybe you join me under the blanket?”

“I think that could be arranged…but what do you say to moving this party down to the first floor? I can make you cocoa, and you can pick a movie?”

“Can it be a documentary?” Waverly asked, suddenly perking up.

“If I get to snuggle in that blanket cocoon with you, it can be whatever you want.”


A few minutes later, Nicole came out clutching two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, the bag of mini marshmallows tucked under her arm.

“You’re amazing,” Waverly gushed, reaching for the marshmallows and her mug, holding it close to her face and letting the steam warm her. “Have I told you that?”

“Mm…a couple of times. But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Good. Because you’re amazing. Now come and cuddle me! There’s a new History Channel documentary I’ve been dying to see.” Nicole tuned out a little bit while Waverly was talking, too distracted by how perfect Waverly seemed, gesturing excitedly with her free hand as she let her enthusiasm for the subject show.

Once they started the movie, Nicole tucked herself into the blankets behind Waverly, curling around her and draping an arm protectively across her waist. She trailed soft kisses up Waverly’s neck and across her cheeks, watching as small dimples appeared on Waverly’s cheeks with every teasing kiss.

By the time Wynonna got home, Nicole and Waverly had fallen fast asleep, curled into each other under a whole pile of blankets while Netflix’s “Are you still watching?” screen blinked in the background. Shaking her head in amusement, Wynonna tip-toed across the room, turning off the television and moving the empty mugs into the kitchen sink. As much as the idea of the baby scared her, she suspected that this little Earp was going to have enough mothers and love to last a lifetime.

The Oracle

A/N: I bring you the thing I had wanted to write in like forever: the saltiest reunion yet. But come on, did you really think I’d leave this character out? Not a chance.

Based on Flat Dreams by @pengychan. AU by @doodledrawsthings. Enjoy.

Part 1

Part 2 

“He is awake.”

“So soon?” Jheselbraum casts a look at at dimension 46’/, where Mabel Pines reaches to shake the hand of the monster they defeated only a year or so ago. “I would have expected at least a few more centuries.”

“I’m sure you know that time is relative.” The is a tone of amusement in the Ancient’s words. “It has been a lot longer than that.”

The Oracle takes that in, watching the events in Stanford’s home dimension play out, and hums in amusement, “‘A different form’,” she repeats to herself, “You couldn’t resist the irony, could you?”

The Axolotl chuckles, “Rather fitting, considering the many times humanity was deceived by him.”

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anonymous asked:

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!! <3

anonymous asked:

I am sorry if i am bothering it's just that i've spent so much money on eldarya already... And I rlly like Leiftan I kinda think it's only fair stick by his side if the player wish (i mean cmon chino!)... Because i've spent so much money (i am not even rich my dude) so i can't leave the game - i am very worried and kinda anxious about it you know? I don't wanna fight him, I wanna be by his side! I know it sounds silly but Leiftan is the reason I stayed in the game and i cant leave now so i am

[+] kinda annoyed if we cant (i know it didnt showed up yet if we can stay by his side) stay by his side, and i see this as something that chino would do! And i am like so pissed because now i cant quit the game because of the reasons i’ve told you, i am sorry i am just kinda nervous tho I rlly wanna know soon and tbh it would be chino bs if we cant choose stay by his side cmon i am only a player because of him i am even ashamed about how much i’ve spent in this game Ç_Ç i am sorry bothering you (2/2)

Don’t worry honey, you are not bothering me at all. I understand that you feel worried after spending a certain amongst of money in the game. 

I don’t know if it can reassure you, but after all the importance Leiftan had gained during the last couples of episodes imo, I doubt that the staff will just put him aside once Gardienne discover his true identity. I mean, we have tons of illustrations with him and even one during a special event, he has his own lovely and romantic scenes just like the other guys, he is even called a “semi-datable” guy by Chino herself (she said something like it might change in the future, here is the link if you’re interested about it), let alone the fact that half of the fandom is asking to make him fully datable. I highly doubt that they’ll just suppress is datable statue after creating such a hype around him and taking time to create illus and scenes with him. Even more knowing that a lot of players missed dates and illustrations with other guys just to be with him. I’d be weird to just catch up with another route now.

I’m telling you that because I believe that we won’t be asked to pick a side (it’d be too much trouble scenaristically wise to make a story for the Gardienne who choose to stay with the Eel guard and another one for the ones who want to stay with Leiftan let’s be honest). However I don’t think it necessary means that Leiftan won’t be datable once Gardienne discover his hidden identity. It can be a great opportunity to develop the romance actually. We might be given the chance to discover his purpose, to make him chance his plans, to show him love his stronger than hate (lol that was cheesy)… the possibilities are infinite. 

I hope I reassured you at least a little bit. This is just my opinion, but no matter how I look at it, I can’t really imagine him being put aside after all.

Melodrama sentence starters
  • "I know about what you did and I wanna scream the truth."
  • "You're such a damn liar."
  • "Thought you said that you would always be in love, but you're not in love no more."
  • "Did it frighten you how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?"
  • "Honey, I'll be seein' you wherever I go."
  • "I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it."
  • "I'll come get my things, but I can't let go."
  • "Played it so nonchalant, it's time we danced with the truth."
  • "I'm acting like I don't see."
  • "My hips have missed your hips."
  • "Will you sway with me?"
  • "We're King and Queen of the weekend."
  • "Ain't a pill that could touch our rush."
  • "But what will we do when we're sober?"
  • "These are the games of the weekend."
  • "We pretend that we just don't care."
  • "I know you're feeling it, too."
  • "Don't know you super well, but I think that you might be the same as me."
  • "Let's let things come out of the woodwork."
  • "I'll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies."
  • "Know I think you're awesome, right?"
  • "Blowing shit up with homemade dynamite."
  • "Might get your friend to drive, but he can hardly see."
  • "I guess we're partying."
  • "You know it's really gonna blow."
  • "Half of my wardrobe is on your bedroom floor."
  • "I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush."
  • "I overthink your punctuation use."
  • "A rush at the beginning, I get caught up, just for a minute."
  • "Lover, you're the one to blame, all that you're doing."
  • "Can you hear the violence?"
  • "Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you."
  • "We're the greatest, they'll hang us in the Louvre, down the back, but who cares - still the Louvre."
  • "You are not my type, still I fall."
  • "I'm just the sucker who let you fill her mind."
  • "Baby really hurt me."
  • "He don't wanna know me, says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm, says it was poison."
  • "I guess I'll go home."
  • "I'll go home into the arms of the girl that I love."
  • "She's so hard to please, but she's a forest fire."
  • "You're a little much for me."
  • "You're a liability, you're a little much for me."
  • "The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore and then they are bored of me."
  • "Better on my own."
  • "I understand, I'm a liability."
  • "Get you wild, make you leave."
  • "I'm a little much for everyone."
  • "You're all gonna watch me disappear into the sun."
  • "Please could you be tender, and I will sit close to you."
  • "Let's give it a minute before we admit that we're through."
  • "I remember the rush when forever was us, before all of the winds of regret and mistrust."
  • "Our love is a ghost."
  • "Well I guess I should go."
  • "Alone with the hard feelings of love."
  • "God I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home."
  • "I light all the candles, cut flowers for all my rooms. I care for myself the way I used to care about you."
  • "I care for myself the way I used to care about you."
  • "These days, we kiss and we keep busy."
  • "Three years, loved you every single day."
  • "It was real for me."
  • "Now I'll fake it every single day 'til I don't need fantasy."
  • "I still remember everything, how we'd drift buying groceries, how you'd dance for me."
  • "I'll start letting go of little things 'til I'm so far away from you."
  • "Bet you wanna rip my heart out."
  • "Bet you wanna skip my calls now."
  • "Well guess what? I like that."
  • "I'm gonna mess your life up, gonna wanna tape my mouth shut."
  • "We're a loveless generation."
  • "We're a loveless generation; all fuckin' with our lover's heads."
  • "Know you won't remember in the morning."
  • "All the glamour, and the trauma, and the fucking melodrama."
  • "They'll talk about us, all the lovers, how we kissed and killed each other."
  • "We told you this was melodrama."
  • "You're walking out to be a good man for someone else."
  • "Sorry I was never good like you."
  • "Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd."
  • "Did my best to exist just for you."
  • "Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark."
  • "She's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart."
  • "I'll love you 'til my breathing stops."
  • "I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me."
  • "I'll find a way to be without you, babe."
  • "I still feel you, now and then."
  • "When you see me, will you say I've changed?"
  • "I love it here since I've stopped needing you."
  • "I am my mother's child."
  • "We keep trying to talk about us."
  • "I'm someone you maybe might love."
  • "I'll be your quiet afternoon crush, be your violent overnight rush."
  • "I fall into continents and cars, all the stages and the stars."
  • "In my head, I do everything right."
  • "When you call, I'll forgive and not fight."
  • "Ours are the moments I play in the dark."
  • "We were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart."
  • "Maybe all this is the party, maybe we just do it violently."
  • "You're not what you thought you were."
  • "Every night, I live and die."
  • "It's just another graceless night."
  • "I hate the headlines and the weather."
  • "I'm 19 and I'm on fire."
  • "When we're dancing, I'm alright."
  • "This is how we get notorious."
  • "We are young and we're ashamed."
  • "All of our heroes fading."
  • "I can't stand to be alone."
  • "Let's go to perfect places."
  • "Let's kiss and then take off our clothes."
  • "All the nights spent off our faces."
  • "What the fuck are perfect places anyway?"
  • "All the nights spent off our faces, trying to find these perfect places."

anonymous asked:

ToT for Kondo-san: How can you have so much free time on your hands? Hijikata-san is busy 24/7, Sannan-san is working on the water of life, the captains are training and going out on rounds but you have time to drink tea with Chizuru and show her around the new headquarters... don't you feel like your underperforming here? I've never seen you work, the only thing you do aside from participating in battles is relaying orders from the Aizu han to the Shinsengumi, the time in between is spent idly.

Kondou scowls fiercely. “Excuse me,” he says, his eyes frigid. “But I think you might have forgotten who you’re talking to, because you’re taking your own assumptions as fact and using them to insult me to my face.” He crosses his arms, his expression stony. “First of all, you should know that you’re comparing vastly different kinds of work. I understand your confusion, since most other officers have a schedule, but the nature of my work is such that it can’t be planned out as accurately as the captains’ rounds. I do put in my time each day, but sometimes it happens that I have more or less to do—and I’d like to point out that even if you’ve only seen me during my free time, you haven’t accounted for all the times you have not seen me, when I’ve been locked in my office or away on diplomatic errands.” Kondou sighs, glancing aside. “But before I get into too many details about my own job, I’ll tell you up front that I worry about Toshi and his productivity more than anyone else. The thing is, much of his paperwork is refining my first drafts, which isn’t supposed to be part of his job. But I’m no great writer, you see, so he takes it upon himself to ensure that my meaning comes across in the best possible way.” He sighs. “So, part of why he’s so busy all the time is because he insists on sharing my own workload instead of letting me do it all myself. I am of course grateful to him, but…”

Trailing off, Kondou shifts his stance. “At any rate, since you don’t seem to fully understand what my job is or why it matters, I’ll explain it to you as best I can,” he says. “Broadly speaking, I must maintain good relations with domains loyal to the shogunate, as well as certain key establishments around Kyoto. More importantly still, I must keep up-to-date on where the Shinsengumi fits into current politics. That includes which factions are most likely to oppose us, and which are most likely to provide us with aid or backup if we need it. A great deal of correspondence is required for both, so much of my time is spent writing letters and making arrangements, and sometimes traveling to do it in person; diplomacy is a long and involved process in times like these.” Kondou presses his lips together briefly. “And speaking of gathering information, since the Watch reports directly to me, it is my job to decide what needs looking into in Kyoto as well as among our own ranks, not to mention what to do with the news they bring me. In fact, I am responsible for making almost every administrative decision involving the Shinsengumi, and even though I value Toshi’s opinion enough to defer to his judgment in several cases, the final call is supposed to be mine.” He levels his gaze at the horizon. “But in order to deserve the title of Chief, I must look after all my men and earn their loyalty. Therefore, I have to make sure the Shinsengumi has an appropriate goal and functions properly as an organization at all times—and might I add, having help in making that happen doesn’t devalue my role in the process, given everything else I do.”

Kondou puts his hands on his hips. “In short, I may not have as much of a set schedule as the other men, but just because you happen to have caught me on a few of my less demanding days doesn’t mean I spend all my time in idleness,” he finishes. “In fact, I’d argue that my work never really ends. The well-being of the Shinsengumi is constantly on my mind, and just because my job may be less noticeable at times than Sanan-kun’s research or the captains’ rounds, it isn’t any less important. I am the Chief of the Shinsengumi for a reason, and I expect to be treated accordingly.”

anonymous asked:

If you're still doing prompt, davekat maybe? In any quad you can envision, but I really like your writing in general and am trying to introduce my friend a bit but they're stuck on the redknight duo

gloomy-optimist just recently drew a cute davekat comic based on some pale davekat chats we’ve been having, so I’mma pick up that ball and run with it

I’ll be taking prompts until the end of next week

Your pile is a sorry piece of shit.  Of all the piles of personally significant inanimate objects crammed into a mound for romantic platonic non-sexual lovemaking, your pile is probably the worst ever.  Paradox space has never seen a pile as pitiful as yours, and you can almost feel the horrorterrors laughing.  What a fucking joke.

You look down at the book and up at your pile.  The picture you’re working from isn’t much different than your own handiwork.  You can’t figure out what’s off.  Is it the smuppets?  Should you have chosen something a little less phallic, maybe?  But you like the irony of cuddling up pale-style on the soft, obscene plushies, especially since Karkat is none the wiser.  But…you have to admit, maybe it does ruin the mood.  Maybe you should eschew irony for this.  But then, what the hell else are you supposed to build a pile out of?  Dead things floating in jars?  You can just imagine how uncomfortable that would be, with all the hard glass and loud clinking.  And if one of the jars break, the mood would be as dead as the sopping specimen you’d both be rolling in.  You wouldn’t even have to take the mood’s pulse to verify its death.  It’d be a horrible, messy scene, the kind that makes even hardened cops in crime dramas look away and grimace.  No recovering from that.

You huff a sigh through your nose and drop the book unceremoniously to the ground.  Hovering around and staring like an idiot isn’t going to help you solve this problem.  You have to dive in and live the experience.  Feel the pile.  Be the pile.  You trudge over and drop to your knees on the bed of plush rumps, rolling artlessly onto your back.  You are engulfed in the forgiving embrace of a hundred foam asses, all yielding to your weight like a patchwork of memory foam pillows with impudent rear ends.  For a moment, you relax and get a feeling for your bro love nest.  Just lay and wait.  You still can’t quite figure out what’s wrong, but damn are you comfortable.  You may have to take a break on the pale science, because you don’t think you’ll be able to claw your way out of the bowels of your smuppet cave.  You may have to just stay here forever.  Or for a short nap.

An all-too-familiar voice cuts through the incoming nap haze in your brain.  “What the fuck are you doing?”  You freeze, very much alert again.  Shit.  Your pile’s not ready.  And with you in it like this, being all relaxed and chill…this must be some pornographic fantasy material right here.  Like a crush walking in on their dreamboat beating his meat.  Right?  This must be the pale equivalent of Karkat strutting in on your special me-time.  With that thought in mind, you stretch out and adopt a more inviting pose.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Riarkle - "I can't breathe!"

Okay so this is a paramedic!riarkle AU. I don’t how much of this is accurate, my googling skills can only take me so far and seeing as I’m not allergic to anything nor am I a paramedic I had to rely on Google. If there are any glaringly obvious errors feel free to point them out.

They’re about 20/21 in this. Surprisingly, you only have to be over 18 and have been an EMT to be a paramedic. Go figure. 

Hope you enjoy this.

Line of Dialogue Series:

In which she’s kind of glad he forgot.

Rating T: for swearing mostly, trigger warning just in case but no one really dies but better to be safe than sorry, it’s kinda fluffy 

Words: 1279

“I can’t breathe!”

Her fork clatters loudly on her plate. Maya notices her pale face. ”Riles, are you okay?” Oblivious Lucas takes another bite of his steak.

Riley raises a trembling hand to her neck, “I can’t breathe.” Her vision is getting spotty, Maya and Lucas are becoming blurry. Sitting is suddenly a huge effort.

“Riley,” Something falls to the floor. It’s only Maya’s screaming that makes her realize that it’s her. She fell on the floor.

“Stay with me Riley!” Warm hands cradle her face. “Call 911 you fucking Huckleberry!”

“What was in the salad?” She pants, her tongue feels ten times bigger. “That’s the only thing I ate.”

Maya flags down a waiter, “Yes, you.” He bends down and unwillingly finds himself nose to with Maya. “You’re going to tell me what the hell was in that salad or so help me god you’re going to be lying right next to her.”  

The poor waiter gulps, looks at Riley, then at the salad, and immediately begins listing ingredients. 

 “Lettuce, Swiss cheese, onions, mustard, olive oil…” He trails off nervously.

“What kind of salad…”

“It’s a cashew salad ma’am.”

Maya explodes, “Cashews? She’s allergic to cashews! Honey, why would you order a cashew salad?” Riley shakes her eyes, it wasn’t her.

“I didn’t.” She wheezes at Maya’s outline. Lucas had ordered for her. They’d been in the bathroom primping while Maya listed off all the reasons he was wrong for her.

Maya gently sets her head on the ground before springing to her feet. “Huckleberry!”

Lucas turns around the phone pressed to his ear, “They said the paramedics should be here any minute now. We’re lucky the hospital is close by.” He laughs.

Maya screams bloody murder and for once, Riley isn’t there to stop her.

“I’m gone for five seconds and you murder my best friend!” There’s a grunt. “Five seconds! That’s all it takes for you to kill her.”

“She never told me she was allergic to anything!”

Yes, she had. The purple and green lights are beginning to fade and she thinks it’s ironic that this is how she dies. Her boyfriend of two years being unable to remember she’s allergic to cashews.

“You’re her best friend, shouldn’t you have an EpiPen?“ His voice sounds like it’s coming through a tube which now that she thinks about it goes great with her tunnel vision.

“No, because I’m not stupid enough to give her cashews!” Maya yells back.

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“If the boot fits…”

The sirens drown out his retort. There’s a commotion and then there’s another yelling voice that isn’t theirs. It’s rich, commanding, and vaguely familiar. “Roll her onto her side, prep her for a steroid shot. We don’t want her to stop breathing. You two,” as they roll her over she catches a faint glimpse of a young paramedic pointing his finger at Lucas and Maya who look like they’re about three seconds away from killing each other. He towers over both of them. “Shut up.”

“Who do think you’re talking to?”

“I’m her boyfriend!”

Fingers circle against her wrist and stay there. “170/110.” Someone with a slight Texan accent says. She’s spent so much time around Lucas that she knows the difference.

“So you’re the genius who poisoned her in the first place.” He scoffs, Riley hears the snap of gloves. A pair of blue eyes come into view, they startle a moment then steel themselves. “She’s still swelling.” Says someone to her right.

He curses under his breath, “We need to get her out to the rig.” His eyes are the last thing she sees and his voice is the last thing she hears.

“Riley, c’mon Riley, wake up. There we go, show me those pretty brown eyes.” She blinks away the spots in her vision, two paramedics stand over her.

“Can I sit up?”

“If you want.” A tawny hand gently grasped her arm, careful not to touch the protruding tubes. “Slowly, take your time. Don’t really wanna clean any vomit up.” A friendly smile greets her less puffy face. Certain that she’s not going throw up he grabs a clipboard. “It’s happened,” he defends at the other paramedic’s snort of disbelief.

“How are you feeling Riley?” Blue eyed boy asks. Seemingly magnetic her eyes are drawn to his. Her north to his south.

The paramedic without the gorgeous blue eyes slants him a glance. “I didn’t know you knew her.”

The boy turns around and grabs an IV. It’s now she notices she’s no longer in the restaurant, but in an ambulance “I don’t, not really.” His pink ears say otherwise.

“You know her name, which is the first thing I was going to ask.”

“You’re in my psych class, you’re Farkle.” She says to his broad back, her throat feels like it’s on fire.  She rubs her neck, relieved that it’s back to its normal size. Her skin is a fiery red, the usual shade it tends to be after an allergic reaction. She’d gone years without one but thanks to Lucas she’d just been put through one.

Surprise shows on his face, he scratches his head, “Yeah, that’s me.”

“I’m Zay.” Farkle bumps him with his hip, he reluctantly moves over. “Not that anyone cares.”

“I care, Isaiah,” the voice comes from the front Riley jumps, Zay blows a kiss at the girl driving the ambulance. Farkle places a hand on her shoulder. He motions at the needle in his hand, she grins sheepishly. She’s grateful that she was out when they inserted the catheter, needles were not her thing.  


“It’s okay,” Zay waves her off. “Most people assume that this thing just drives itself, how are you feeling?”

“Better. I feel a little dizzy, but overall I’m feeling better.”

“This might feel a little cold,” Farkle murmurs, she shivers but not because of the solution being pushed into her veins.

“It was touch and go for a couple of moments there.” Zay jots some things down. “Good thing we didn’t have to give you CPR. Although I doubt your boyfriend would have let us. Did you know he gave birth to a horse?”

“He didn’t,” Riley groans. He told that story to anyone who would listen. “And ex-boyfriend.” She clarifies.

“He did,” Zay says grimly, Farkle nods his head in agreement. “And good for you.”

Zay asks her a couple of question, cracks a couple of jokes before clicking his pen. “The IV should help you feel better.” Zay finally says.

“We’re almost there,” Farkle takes off his gloves. “You shouldn’t be at the hospital long. Just take the Benadryl the doctor is going to prescribe and avoid cashews and you should be good as new.”

Zay shoves him, “I was gonna say that. Gotta impress the pretty girls.”

A loud cough is heard.

He grins. “Just kidding Izzy.”


Zay shoves the heavy clipboard into his hands, “Your girl your paperwork.”

“She’s not…” But Zay’s already off to bother the girl she still hasn’t seen yet.

“I didn’t know you were a paramedic?”

“I don’t really advertise it,” Farkle looks up from his writing, “It usually attracts the crazies.”

“Is that why you’re taking a psychology, to avoid the crazies?” She smiles, she’s sure she looks deranged with her swollen face but she doesn’t care.

He laughs, “No, that’s not it.” She watches him scrawl his signature at the bottom of the page, “Maybe I’ll tell you one day.”

“I look forward to it.” She says sincerely.

“We’re here!” Zay exclaims.

“Do you want to get dinner sometime?” Farkle whispers as they help her out of the ambulance and into a wheelchair, “No cashews, I promise.”

“I’d like that.” Riley beams up at him.

“Aww,” Zay coos, “I can’t wait to be best man.”

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 10)
  • "How did we ever come to this?"
  • "I never thought you'd be someone I'd have to miss."
  • "There I was, caught in your game..."
  • "If you're looking for forgiveness, you won't find that here."
  • "You can say you're sorry, but I still don't care."
  • "You're both to blame."
  • "I hope you know you're my last mistake."
  • "Don't come around and say you need me."
  • "I won't stay."
  • "Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely."
  • "It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger."
  • "I started writing songs, I started writing stories."
  • "Only those I really love will ever really know me."
  • "Once I was 20 years old, my story got told."
  • "I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure."
  • "I got my boys with me at least."
  • "I hope I'll see you later."
  • "We've traveled around the world and we're still roaming."
  • "I'm still learning about life."
  • "I'm still sorry."
  • "Tell me what you want this to be."
  • "I just can't catch a break."
  • "I know what I want this to be."
  • "You're dragging things along."
  • "Do you feel like something's missing when your skin is pressed to mine?"
  • "All I ever wanted was a part of you that I couldn't break."
  • "We're in pieces now."
  • "All you ever wanted was a part of me that I couldn't fake."
  • "I have to let you down."
  • "I know I’m the one you want to forget."
  • "Baby, you were my picket fence."
  • "I miss missing you now and then."
  • "Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger."
  • "The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger."
  • "I am the best you’ll never have."
  • "Drink up, baby, stay up all night."
  • "I'll make you mine."
  • "I hate myself for staring at the phone."
  • "Kept all your texts, can’t erase them."
  • "I’d call you up but I know you’re not alone."
  • "I know that I should not hold on, so why can’t I let go?"
  • "I keep trying to figure out who you are to me."
  • "Maybe all that we were meant to be is beautifully unfinished."
  • "Your fingerprints are tattooed on my skin."
  • "You’re the one that I can’t lose; you’re the one that I can’t win."
  • "I hate you and I love you and I wish you’d go away."
  • "I hate you and I love you and I wish that you would stay."
  • "I think that you think that I'm half drunk."
  • "I know that you wouldn't fall for that."
  • "Shut up and take my hand."
  • "I don't wanna say goodnight."
  • "Hot damn, look at me now."
  • "I bet you never thought you would fall again."
  • "So much for keeping this 'just friends'."
  • "Shut up and kiss me now."
  • "I've done my part for twelve years now."
  • "I really wouldn't mind if we don't go anywhere, cause I've got you."
  • "You think my bruised knees are sort of pretty."
  • "I think your tired eyes are kind of nice."
  • "Have you got a lighter on you?"
  • "I really don't mind if we take our time."
  • "I've got a couple bottles of your favorite wine."
  • "I love everything that you've got."
  • "Would you be mine?"
  • "How can you joke at a time like this?"
  • "This is what you wanted all along now, isn't it?"
  • "I think that all you ever really ever wanted was a reason to complain."
  • "Those are her words, not mine."
  • "As far as I'm concerned, we could've had a good time."
  • "I guess there's nothing more to discuss."
  • "Girls don't call, and they never tell you why."
  • "Don't listen to my music."
  • "Don't lie in my bed."
  • "Don't listen to the references to things that you might have actually said."
  • "As far as I'm concerned, it could have been a lot worse."
  • "I wasn't trying to avoid the confrontation."
  • "She told me that I don't even try."
  • "Maybe you're right, maybe this is all that I can be."
  • "But what if it's you, and it wasn't me?"
  • "I'm fucked in the head, and my mind is turning into a whore."
  • "Maybe she's right, maybe I'm wrong."
  • "Maybe we'll fight 'til it move us along."
  • "You know that admitting the problem is the first step."
  • "Friends turned to wine-drunk lovers."
  • "I felt the strangest emotion but it wasn't hate, for once."
  • "Life is moving, can't you see?"
  • "There's no future left for you and me."
  • "I was holding and I was searching endlessly, but now there's nothing left that I can do."
  • "There is another future waiting there for you."
  • "They say people never change, but that's bullshit, they do."
  • "I do not think I would be here if not for them."
  • "With friends like ours, anywhere is home."
  • "Keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind."
  • "I thought we were holding on, aren't we?"
  • "You and me got a whole lot of history."
  • "We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen."
  • "Let's drive around town holding hands."
  • "And ya need to know, you're the only one."
  • "I love you, babe, so bad."
  • "I'm hella obsessed with your face."
  • "I'll be your daydream."
  • "We could be beautiful."
  • "Say you'll never let me go."
  • "Take me back to a time only we knew."
  • "We could waste the night with an old film."
  • "You said you'd never ever break down, but here I am sweeping pieces off of the ground."
  • "You said you'd never ever play to crowds."
  • "I've spent all night long scared of tomorrow."
  • "Everything is almost lost."
  • "I never thought I'd be so fragile."
  • "We're fragile."
  • "You're the only sound that I ever want to hear."
  • "Give me your heart, and I'll give you my love."
  • "Tonight you look lovely."
  • "Let me wrap my arms around you."
  • "Let me take you home."
  • "I want you to myself."
  • "You're the only thing that I ever need to know."
  • "Our world is looking so bright."
  • "I'm a little bit lost without you."
  • "I had a feeling once that you and I could tell each other everything."
  • "I just wanted you."
  • "Something about you, it's like an addiction."
  • "Hit me with your best shot, honey."
  • "I've got no reason to doubt you."
  • "You keep coming back again."
  • "I'm certain that I'm yours."
  • "I adore you."
  • "I said I'd never miss you, but I guess you never know."
  • "I miss your early morning company."
  • "You are my favorite 'what if'."
  • "You are my best 'I'll never know'."
  • "What did it ever mean to you?"
  • "I wish I'd known how much you loved me."
  • "I wish I cared enough to know."
  • "I'm sorry every song's about you."
  • "The torture of small talk with someone you used to love."
  • "When I was younger I was certain that I'd be fine without a queen."
  • "Where we've been is who we are."
  • "Now all I do is wonder why we ever set the scene."
  • "It's such a shame that we play strangers."
  • "Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me."
  • "I'll remember nights alone and waking up to dial tones."
  • "Always found my greatest moments in the sound of your 'hello's'."
  • "Will you even know it's me?"
  • "Can we find a new beginning?"
  • "Do you turn the other cheek?"
Preference: Vlogging
  • Harry: You were a successful youtuber by day and Harry's girl by night. Your subscribers were very open when you first told then you were dating, although you were still very careful making sure not to film Harry. It's not that you didn't think the fans would be okay with it it's just that so much of your life with Harry was out for the world to see, so you decided to keep whatever you could just to yourselves. You always thought that Harry didn't like to be filmed because of how much of his life was filmed of him already. Until one day he straight up asked you to be in one of your daily vlogs and it happened to be the day that you were repainting Harry's house, you weren't living with him yet but the amount of time you spent there was like it was your home. "Hey everybody, today I've been put through the torture of painting this ones house" You sighed at the end before turning the camera onto Harry, he turned to the camera a paint roller in his hand, his smile wide as he waved a little with his free hand. "Hello" He said his voice raspy. "For those of you who don't know him, which if you don't where have you been these last 3 years" Harry chuckled as you had the camera on yourself. "This is Harry Styles" You swapped the camera to him again, who had turned to face the camera again. "Her boyfriend" He confirmed to everyone. "Now put that camera down and help me lazy!" He said trying to put some paint on the end of your nose which you merely missed. After placing your camera on the tripod you picked up a paintbrush and starting painting just underneath where Harry was. After only mere moments the both of you forgot about the camera still recording. "Get on my shoulders" He said looking up towards the ceiling his eyes landing back on yours. Your face said it all, confusion written all over it. "I need you to paint the top of the wall, it's not like you'll be able to carry me" He sighed crossing his arms across his chest making you feel smaller than you were already, Harry being at least a head taller than you. "Wanna bet?" You mocked him by crossing your arms across your chest and cocking your hip to the side. "Get on" You said bending down a little so Harry had only a step to get onto your shoulders. "Ill crush you, you're tiny" He sighed looking towards the camera that he had just remembered about, your mind still oblivious to it. "I'm stronger than you think my boy" You eyed him up and down taking in his extreme height and toned muscles he couldn't have weighed too much more than your brother and you carried him on your shoulders all the time. Without any other words Harry grasped your shoulders with both hands, elegantly sliding his long leg over your shoulder your hand grabbing his thigh immediately. "Don't drop me" He said laughing as you were starting to already struggle with the weight of only one leg, he knew too well that you were going to drop him. He hoisted his other leg over your free shoulder the wall he was holding supporting him. You grabbed his other thigh as he gently let go of the wall. Your legs shaking, but you were holding him up (just). "See..." You huffed as you could barely talk through the weight. "Don't die on me down there" He said starting to stoke the wall with the grey paint, your legs wobbling more than ever. "[Y/N] NOOOO!" Harry bellowed as your legs gave way and he toppled from your shoulders sending him into the grey paint on the floor, his once white tshirt now a dark grey. You stood there with your hands over your mouth trying to mask your laughter. He stood from his place on the ground turning towards the camera "And to the guys out there this is why you don't trust your girlfriend" He sighed smiling towards you as he turned the camera off. "You're dead!" He said winking at you before scrapping the paint off his tshirt chasing you. Within seconds he had you pinned underneath him as he straddled your thighs your face now covered in grey paint, "Let me go!" You said squirming but you were useless underneath his strength "Kiss me first" He laughed pouting his lips and closing his eyes. You smeared grey paint all over your lips before planting them on Harry's. His eyes flung open as you squirmed from his grip running towards the bathroom. Harry rolled his eyes at the childish girlfriend he had but he couldn't live without you. Best vlog ever the subscribers described it as.
  • Louis: "Good morning everyone!" You exclaimed sitting on the couch next to your boyfriend of 2 years. "HIIII!" Louis yelled towards the camera before you could introduce him. Louis had been in only a few of your vlogs, knowing he was always on tour so when you were together you took advantage of him. "We've got a little ask [Y/N] and Louis video for you today, so I asked you on twitter for some questions for Louis" You smiled at your boy as he turned from you towards the camera "And I asked you on twitter some questions for [Y/N] and we picked our favourites to ask right now" You watched in awe at how natural your boyfriend was in front of the camera, his features looking so good in the screen of a camera. "Babe first questions for you" He smiled at you before reading something from his phone. "When was the moment when you really knew you loved Louis" He read out, pulling his phone from his face having his full attention on you. You were taken back by the question knowing Louis had never heard this before he knew you loved him but he never knew the moment you knew you were in love with him. "Well.." You began "He was actually on tour at the time and we'd only been dating for about 2 months, we were skyping each other, and I remember Liam was in his room with him and Liam was blabbering on about how Louis was miserable without me and that he missed my cuddles, he was upset most nights. I was so shocked that I actually didn't believe him until..." You smiled to him, sparkles in his eyes. "Louis said 'it's true, I'm lost without you' after that Skype call I legitimately went straight to my Mum and my sister and said 'I'm in love with him'. It was such a small moment but knowing he was feeling as miserable as I was knowing he was gone just made my heart burst so it only took me two months to fall head over heels for this idiot" You laughed grabbing his cheek and pinching it a little, his smile from one ear to another. "I never knew that, do you know what?" He sighed kissing you lightly on the lips before continuing. "Liam looked at me straight after that Skype call, at how happy I was after talking to you. He sighed at me and said 'You love her don't you?'" He kissed you again. "And I said 'I love her more than life itself and I couldn't be happier'" He kissed you one last time a little bit longer this time and as the vlog went on so many more little things were confessed about you and Louis bringing you closer than you'd ever been before.
  • A/N: It's not that good :( Message me for more ideas or if you want me to continue this one xxxxxxx I LOVE FEEDBACK
  • TTK: Let me have your attention for a moment. 'Cause you're talkin' about what, you're talkin' about... bitchin' about that node you shot, some Abyssal bitch don't wanna sink, some resources don't wanna show up, your sister you're trying to screw and so forth... let's talk about something IMPORTANT. Are they all here?
  • Ooyodo: All but one.
  • TTK: Well I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. PUT. THAT BUCKET. DOWN. Buckets' for closers only. You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not fuckin' with you. I'm here from HQ. I'm here from high command. And I'm here on a mission of mercy! Your name's Akagi?
  • Akagi: Yeah.
  • TTK: You call yourself an aircraft carrier, you sea cow?
  • Kaga: I don't gotta listen to this shit.
  • TTK: You certainly don't pal, 'cause the good news is: You're scrapped. The bad news is, you've got -all've you got- just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonight's sortie. Oh. Have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's event. As you all know, first prize is a Repair Goddess. Anybody wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of bauxite steak knives. Third prize is you're scrapped. You get the picture? You laughing now? You've got equipment; HQ spent good resources. Use that equipment to SINK them. You can't use the equipment you're given, you can't use shit, YOU ARE SHIT. Hit the bricks pal and beat it, 'cause you are going out!
  • Akagi: The planes are weak.
  • TTK: The planes are weak? The fuckin' planes are weak? YOU'RE weak. I've been in this business fifteen years...
  • Kaga: What's your name?
  • TTK: FUCK YOU, that's my name! You know why, missy? 'Cause you got TOWED to get in here tonight. I drove an $80,000 BMW, THAT'S my name. And your name is You're Wanting. You can't play in the sailor's game, you can't close boss nodes... then go home and tell your sister your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: GET THE BOMBS ON THE ENEMY THAT IS THE HIME. You hear me, you fuckin' frigates?
  • TTK: A. B. C. A: Always B: Be C: Closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. ALWAYS. BE. CLOSING. A.I.D.A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action! Attention: Do I have your attention? Interest, are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision: HAVE YOU MADE YOUR DECISION, FOR CHRIST? And Action. AIDA. Get out there, you got the Abyssals coming in. You think they came to sell you real estate? Abyssals don't show up lest they want to fight. They're sitting there, WAITING to get shot! Are you gonna shoot 'em? Are you kanmusu enough to shoot 'em?
  • TTK: What's the problem, pal? You, Kaga.
  • Kaga: You're such a hero, you're so high-ranking, how come you're coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch o' bums?
  • TTK: You see this watch? You see this watch?
  • Kaga: Yeah.
  • TTK: This watch cost more than your fighter squadron. I made 970,000 bauxite last event, how much did you make? You see pal, THAT'S who I am, and you're nothing. Nice girl? I don't give a shit. Good mother? Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here, CLOSE. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you minesweeper? You can't take this, HOW CAN YOU TAKE THE ABUSE YOU GET ON A SORTIE? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there TONIGHT with the equipment you got and beat a boss node. TONIGHT! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise. AIDA. Get MAD, you daughters o' darkness, GET MAD! You know what it takes to beat bosses? It takes bauxite balls to beat bosses. Go and do likewise, ladies. The drops are out there. You pick 'em up, they're yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sorties tonight and close, CLOSE, it's yours. If not, you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying. A bunch o' losers sittin' around in the bar. 'Oh yeah, I used to be a kanmusu. It's a tough racket.'
  • TTK: These are the new planes. These are the elite Reppuu planes. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? 'Cause to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal? 'Why am I here?' I came here because high command asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor: Follow my advice and scrap your fuckin' ass, because a loser is a loser.
The signs as three TSSF self titled lyrics
  • Aries: Calm somehow but rising now// These days I tend to see red// My blood is always hot when it comes to you and I
  • Taurus: Find me, heal me, keep my faith// You set your pace, I'll keep mine too// Attract me, come back to me, I'm waiting on you so patiently
  • Gemini: Toyed with deceit, planted your lies// Split up your mind, do you some harm// You can't say you never fucked with me cause everyone knows
  • Cancer: I hope you feel that heavy gloom when you're all done up in a crowded room// I want it to hit so close to home// Used to dye your denim in my parents bathroom, I can feel your phantom
  • Leo: tell me how your life's played out down south in the sun// Go be who you wanna be// I might lose all my poise
  • Virgo: I'd rather not, I hate the thought, it's such a distaste// That feeling stuck that I offered trust and it left me solo// can't ignore, won't ignore, that I just don't know you anymore
  • Libra: Trying to break loose from your charm// The ice is slick like my voice// Picture you just dancing, dancing in your old room
  • Scorpio: I know all your flaws and most of your fears// I can't understand how you control all my lust and form the words on my tongue// Know how hard that I fell, hazy every detail, about who cared the most when it came to you and I
  • Capricorn: I will not fake this stupid smile// I can't seem to shake this curse, I can't seem to put you first
  • //I wear a scowl so that they can always see, I'm nowhere near where I wanna be
  • Sagittarius: she's like "I never left you, this was all your choice"// Gotta figure out who I've been running from// I can't pass through Indio without feeling indigo
  • Aquarius: how can I feel anything anymore?// Mislead you on purpose, fade into the void// I keep my distance now, forcing my jaw to smile
  • Pisces: Bet you're sick of hearing me sulk and pout// I spent so much time, with you in my hindsight// Each time I chase, I feel dark blue

anonymous asked:

I think the Doctor is no longer The Doctor. He doesn't care anymore. Someone dies nevermind get over it He kills someone because he 'was already dead' Like c'mon this isn't The Doctor I knew, or love. What happened to 'always the optimistic' or 'i've never met anyone who wasn't important before'? Now it's just comparing human brains to pudding? It is just so disappointing you know He is not dark, he's just arrogant. It makes me wanna stop watching, I really don't want to but I just can't anymore

I’m sorry you feel that way, but I have to say I mostly disagree. Because I don’t think what we’ve seen of the series supports the idea that the Doctor doesn’t care anymore. A man who doesn’t care wouldn’t have given this speech:

“It’s just far away. Everything looks too small. I prefer it down there. Everything is huge. Everything is so important. Every detail, every moment, every life clung to.”

A man who doesn’t care wouldn’t have promised the dinosaur to bring her home, a man who doesn’t care wouldn’t have saved Journey’s life, a man who doesn’t care wouldn’t have started a revolt against the knight robots and consequently saved their prisoners, a man who doesn’t care would not have taught Rupert about fear, a man who doesn’t care wouldn’t have looked at Saibra like both of his hearts were breaking. Even leaving Clara behind in Kill The Moon wasn’t an act of indifference - he genuinely thought that it was right to leave this choice to her, that she would know what was right.

You’re correct about a couple of things. He is arrogant. But that’s really a reoccuring theme with the Doctor, hardly limited to this one (“Funny little human brains. How do you get around in those things?”, “I’d call you a genius, except I’m in the room”). He can also be callous towards people, but again, there are plenty of quotes to go around for the Doctor (“Mickey the idiot”, “What are you, a journalist?… make it up!”). He’s never been perfect, humble, and universally kind. To compare one Doctor’s best moments with another Doctor’s worst moments will result in an unfair assessment that ultimately brushes aside many of the inherent complexities of the character.

Keep reading

Alright, Still sentence starters
  • "When you first left me, I was wanting more."
  • "You were fucking that girl next door, what you do that for?"
  • "I was so lost back then, but with a little help from my friends, I found a light in the tunnel at the end."
  • "When I see you cry, it makes me smile."
  • "Now you're calling me up on the phone, so you can have a little whine and a moan and it's only because you're feeling alone."
  • "Why would I wanna be anywhere else?"
  • "No, you can't have my number."
  • "They're all the same."
  • "You see the thing is, I just don't have the time."
  • "It seems to me that it's spiraling outta control and it's inevitable."
  • "I'm having the time of my life."
  • "Alright, how would it make you feel if I said you never made me cum?"
  • "In the year and a half that we spent together, I never really had much fun."
  • "I never wanted it to end up this way, you've only got yourself to blame."
  • "I saw you thought this was gonna be easy, well you're out of luck."
  • "You can play this game with me but you know you're gonna lose."
  • "If you're gonna play with fire then you're gonna get burned."
  • "Another drink and I'm ready for action."
  • "I don't know who you think you are, but making people scared wont get you very far."
  • "There's these girls in the corner wanting attention from the boys."
  • "You're not too cool and not too funny."
  • "Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing, especially when I have to watch other people kissing."
  • "I remember when you started calling me your missus, all the play fighting, all the flirtatious disses."
  • "I don't know why I trusted you but I knew that I could."
  • "I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt."
  • "I can't shake those memories."
  • "Sometimes I wish we could just pretend, even if only for one weekend."
  • "Tell me, is this the end?"
  • "The first time that you introduced me to your friends, and you could tell that I was nervous, so you held my hand."
  • "There's no one in the world who could replace you."
  • "Two wrongs don't make a right."
  • "What the fuck do you know? Just 'cause you're old you think your wise."
  • "Be what you want, just as long as it's real."
  • "I should keep my friends close but keep my enemies closer."
  • "I don't want us to have a fight, but in the background I can hear you chatting shit."
  • "You're no friend of mine, girl and I've known it for a while."
  • "Have you got no self respect?"
  • "What happened to the good old days?"
  • "I was kinda hoping this was all a stupid phase."
  • "I can't even see him 'cause the room is so smoky."
  • "Don't understand how one can watch so much TV."
  • "I just can't sit back and watch you waste your life away."
  • "I'm feeling guilty for leading you astray."
  • "I'm trying to help you out, so can you stop being a twat?"
  • "I wish I had one good reason why I should stay."
  • "I wish had qualities like sympathy, fidelity, sobriety, sincerity, humility - instead I got lunacy."
  • "My heart is achin and I've never felt this bad." "Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind."
  • "With no warning you suddenly became my lover."
  • "I've been waiting so very long for you to say it to me."
  • "I know you're the one for me but it took me by surprise."
  • "I don't want to lose you, I don't want to confuse you."
  • "What am I supposed to say back to you?"
harry imagine: "you don't get it, do you?" (pt. 2)

part one


(A/N: listen to poison and wine by the civil wars while reading, you dont have to but it adds to the mood :) )

harry’s p.o.v

i watched them. i watched the way she leaned into him when she laughed. i watched the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him. every time he took her tiny little hand between his and kissed it crushed another peace of my already broken heart. i was sitting there, across her.. the girl that has all the control over my heart, the girl that can make my stomach flip just by saying my name, the girl whom i thought one day i’d call mine. i just looked at her and said nothing.. gosh she’s so damn beautiful.

i closed my eyes for a second, imagining what life would be like having her as mine..
i woke up next to (y/n), she was still peacefully sleeping. she had the covers pulled up to her neck since it was january and she’s that type of girl that would get cold when it’s 90 degrees. i looked at her.. she was into deep sleep, a part of her hair was going down her face, covering half of it. how am i even so lucky ?!! i reached for her hair and pushed it out of her face, placing a kiss on her cheek then i gently put my arm under her neck and pulled her body close to mine resting her head on my chest then pulled the covers over both of us again just to make sure she feels warm. she shifted a bit at my movement but said nothing, a smile just skipped her lips and she wrapped her leg around mine. a thing that i’m used to by now.
’ good morning’ her sleepy voice said. gosh i don’t think i’ve ever heard something as sexy as her voice in the morning. i looked down at her and placed a kiss on her forehead. ‘morning baby girl. how did you sleep?’ she rubbed her eyes, the smile never leaving her mouth then replied back 'i haven’t slept like that in a while..what about you?’
'well with you in my arms, what do you expect ?!' 
'when did you get so smooth?’ she giggled as she cupped my face and leaned in. here comes the moment , for god only knows the which time, that i thought would never come. i leaned in too to let our lips touch but that annoying noise interrupted me. it’s like someone was tapping on glass. i tried to ignore the noise but it was just too loud and too repetitive. 

“yes, i’d like to say something..”

that voice. his voice. the voice that she probably wanted to fall asleep to. i opened my eyes again, brought out of my imagination and looked around. there he was. standing there, holding a spoon and tapping it across his cup. apparently the noise wasn’t a part of my silly daydream.

“as you probably know my name’s zayn and i’m part of the band one direction. now, i just wanted to ask this very special, beautiful girl, if she’d go out with me,” he finished.
i looked over at (y/n) to capture her reaction. she froze for a moment then jumped out of happiness hugging him tight, agreeing on going on a date with him.
i knew this would come, i was just never ready to face it. she loves him. i tried a billion times to convince myself that it’s not true cause they have never admitted their feelings for each others and they’ve always denied it, or maybe cause i wanted myself to be the one loved by her. but their feelings for each others were just to obvious to be hidden.

"dude you okay ?!” louis said. what the hell ? i didn’t even notice him walking towards me.
“yes. yes i am”
“are you sure ? do you wanna leave?”
i took a last glance at (y/n) and she has finally gotten out of his arms and was telling everyone her goodbyes now.

“no let’s just all leave, it’s getting late anyways and i don’t want you going home alone.” fucking zayn. he always knows the right words to say. no wonder why she has fallen for him and not for me.
“oh..” she smiled. “okay then.. let’s go?” we all nodded and got up leaving the restaurant. i walked out to my car, then she came and took the passenger’s seat side.

“don’t you want to drive in zayn’s car?” i asked her.
“no” she said, seeming confused. i unlocked the door and helped her in without a word, then got in and sped off.
“don’t you think you’re going too fast?”
i couldn’t hold it anymore. i stopped the car killing the engine and looked at her.
“harry what’s wrong ?!”
i just kept looking at her confused face for what seemed like forever thinking about the future i have always dreamed of having with her, of how much i loved her, of the memories we shared together, of the times we spent with one another, and of the way they all shattered away when she agreed on going to that damned date with zayn. a tear slipped my eyes but i wiped it away quickly before she could see it. however, i don’t think it worked though.
“you don’t get it, do you?!”
she shook her head, more confused than the first time so i turned my face away and started driving again.

(y/n) pov

“harry please stop the car…” i reached for his hand but he took his away. “ really now…? come on.. please?” i tried my best to make him stop but that only made him drive faster.
“please harry i need to talk to you… stop the car please..”
“why ?!! why should i ?!”
“ for me..” he looked over at me and slowly pulled over.
“now what do you wanna talk about?!”
“why are you mad at me?”
“i’m not mad at you.”
“yes you are.”
“no i’m not.”
“yes you are harry damn i know you way better than that! come on.. tell me what it is”
“it’s noth-” i didn’t let him finish. i held his chin and turned his face looking into his eyes. they were watery.
i don’t remember feeling my heart ache the way it does now. he’s crying. he’s hurt. he’s not smiling anymore and sadly it’s something i can do nothing about cause i know i’m the reason for it.
“h-harry..” i cupped his face, stroking his cheek with my thumb wiping off his tears. i hadn’t realized i was crying too until i felt a tear fall down on my arm.
“tell me about it please…” i looked more into his eyes, pleading, but he only looked away.
“you know you can tell me anything..” i said, so he looked back at me for a moment, put his hands over mine on his cheeks. i cracked a smile at his action but suprisingly, he only did it to move my hands off his face.
“ you can’t do this (y/n)..”
“ this what…?”
“just„. everything, you cant be that way around me.”
“why not.. ?”
“please don’t ask okay?” he looked at me for the last time before he had sighed and started the engine again.
“harry don’t look at me that way!!”
“then don’t be around me that way.”
“what ?! harry what’s this ? where are you? why are you not the same with me anymore…?”
“ you just took away the best of me and tore it apart.”

with this, i leaned my head against the window, numb on the outside but screaming my soul out on the inside. i wanted to reach over and hold him in my arms, tell him that everything with us will be just like he wanted and tell him about how i love him with every single beat of my fucking heart, but i can’t. it’s done and i’m the reason for this. i’m the reason for this all. i don’t know why i even said yes to going out with zayn when i feel nothing for him, i destroyed the only person i care about the most in this life and here he is, crashing down, not talking to me, not even wanting to look at me… i guess the best thing for us two is for me to get out of his life…

Part three.

neneh  asked:

Okay so first of all I am that "stalker fan" you think got a tip off on Zayn's whereabouts. The fact you spent this much time going through who I've met and haven't is pretty sad. I live in London and I like 1D, it took me 4 fucking years to meet them. Wasting money and time trying to find these boys I love. We found out where Zayn was and went on a whip. We has no idea he would stop. Stop spreading lies and bullshit you don't know. And fucking ask first if you wanna know what happened.

And also to clear up other things. In our group chat we decided we would go out for Zayn at like 5pm. He was out all day and no other fans where there. We literally had been trying to meet him for months and tell him we love him. Yes I have met the boys before. But a lot of people who live in London have. Fans in other countries wait outside hotels, we wait outside studios and events. I don’t see the difference. We were at the gate and the car drove toward us. It was obvious we were fans. 


Soooooo, if this was all an organic happening, I guess you won’t mind sharing how exactly you managed to hunt Zayn down. Please be very very specific. This could be super helpful to other fans who wanna meet him (and the rest of 1D too). I hope you’ll indulge me, I’m just pretty sad that way.

And congrats on the “wasting money and time”. You’re a true soldier.