you don't ride

  • Gabriel: Cool spear
  • Michael: It's a lance
  • Gabriel: It looks like a spear
  • Michael: But it's not, it's the Lance of Michael
  • Raphael: Technically a lance is a spear used by a cavalry soldier and since you don't ride a horse it should be called the Spear of Michael
  • Gabriel: Just admit you're only calling it a lance because you think it sounds cooler
  • Michael: *storms out of heaven annoyed at his brothers*
  • Gabriel: You forgot your spear!
twenty one pilots // blurryface

Heavydirtysoul

Stressed Out

Ride

Fairly Local

Tear In My Heart

Lane Boy

The Judge

Doubt

Polarize

We Don’t Believe What’s On TV

Message Man

Hometown

Not Today

Goner

being asexual is seen as “too straight” by the LGBT+ community and “too gay” for straight people. the truth is, we are neither. if straight people are “as straight as a line” and gay people are “straight like a circle”, then we’re as straight as the void. sexual attraction? i don’t even know her. you are seriously in the wrong place if you’re looking for an instant sexual connection. don’t try to “””fix””” us we’re good. keep moving please.

thighs, thighs and thighs

you thirsty people like these for sum reason. especially you @jinxkook enjoy.


Originally posted by donewithjeon

bless his thighs

it all started with a simple question. 

“y/n. what is your favourite thing about me?” 

 you gave it a few days thought because what didn’t you love about him. but after the first two days you narrowed it down to his physical traits. his arms, veins, abs or thighs. 

his arms were built and you loved how they’d effortlessly lift you up and spin you around. 

 his veins. god, his veins. they made him look like a sex god and it drove you crazy. 

 his abs. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like running your fingers down the short dips on his stomach. 

 his thighs. they were hard as fuck. and we’re just so muscular you loved thinking about them whenever you could. which was probably once every 15 seconds. 

so after making up your mind up, you walked up to him, put on your flirty smile and leaned into his ear, “your thighs are my favourite thing about you.” 

 in a flash he’d taken a seat on the closer chair and pulled you in between his legs. 

his hands pulled your pyjama shorts down your legs and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his thigh. “ride my thigh baby, i want to see your panties and my sweats to get soaked with your sweet sweet juices.” he encouraged, moving your hips before you took control and began grinding down on his muscular thigh. 

your hands gripped his shoulder in an attempt to balance yourself as you began to grind yourself down on him. your voice produced breathy moans and sweet cries of pleasure that were like music to his ears and you found it hard to concentrate as he whispered dirty words into your ear, which only brought you closer to the edge. 

 “holy fuck, kookie. you have no idea how much i love your thighs.” you moaned, biting down on your lips as you threw your head back when suddenly his thigh clenched beneath you, causing you jerk your hips forwards at the new friction. 

“oh god, please do that aga- oH FUCK.” 

he continued flexing his thigh until eventually it was too much for you to handle and your orgasm washed over you, dripping down from your clit and soaking through your panties and the fabric of his jeans in the process. you came down from your high before resting your head on his shoulder, kissing his material covering his skin lightly before you looked back up at him. 

“so my thighs are your favourite things about me?” 

you nod your head, “yup.” 

“well then i gotta try harder to make this dick your favourite thing.” he says, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder as he stood up and walked to your bedroom, ready to show you how amazing the jungcock really was.

instagram

#TLOP #IfYoungMetroDontTrustYou

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When Felix says he was somewhere on holidays with his parents he means that they actually were spending time together.
When his classmates say they were somewhere with their parents they mean the servants were spending time with them meanwhile parents were minding their own business.
This leads to some misunderstanding when they are comparing expirences.

anonymous asked:

WhaT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON IN SHES MY COLLAR WHAT IS THAT PANTING WHOS POV IS THIS IN WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE KINKSHAMING 2 OR MURDOC WHO TF ARE THEY TALKING ABOJT THAT FUCKING P A N T I N G W H A T TEH FUCK IS GONIG ON IN THIS SONG I NEED ANSWERS I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

the gorillaz fandom: 33 screaming frogs

My favorite thing in the whole entire world is when people like to deflect from the problems in their own ship by pointing out the problems in Pharmercy, and instead of using legitimate criticisms, they use the stupid, made-up fanon stuff like Fareeha and Angela grew up around each other and Angela had a hand in raising her, as a way of obfuscating and not acknowledging said ship’s problems.

And then when you debunk their theories with actual evidence and the Word of God from Chu himself, they go silent and don’t acknowledge it, mainly because they can’t admit they’re wrong.

Oh, and bonus points if they accuse poc (including actual latinx) who don’t like their ship of being racist, instead of actually listening to them.

Fun times in the Overwatch fandom.