you don't need to read this

90’s 🥀

anonymous asked:

jess! any chance you have any drarry fics you could rec that are on the happier/fluffier side? I haven't read many so anything you can think of I would appreciate! thanks in advance :)

DO I EVER, ANON!!!! :’’) I haven’t read much fic in general lately so most of these I’ve talked about before I’m sure, but they’re all SO GOOD they deserve to be recced repeatedly!!!


  • All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (and corresponding *incredible* podfic-  if the idea of isolated professor draco malfoy slowly learning to integrate himself into hogwarts, make friends, and ~fall in luv~ warms the cockles of your heart, READ!! THIS!!! FIC!!!
    • featuring a) harry spelling draco’s eyebrows bright gryffindor red b) draco’s pet beetle stanley tacking his way through life c) one of the most heartwarming and Soft™ slow burns of all time
  • Stop and Stare by Saras_Girl - “This is not a story full of drama or conflict or clothes being ripped off in a frenzy. It is about peace and about that creeping sort of love that sneaks up on you while you think you are busy doing other things.”
    • ^ aka everything I ever want ever
    • draco runs an animal sanctuary. harry agrees to build him a shed. includes at least fifty instances of the two of them being unbearably adorable and TAKING CARE OF ANIMALS TOGETHER
    • also features Mama and Resident Cat Lady Narcissa Malfoy pointedly asking harry if he’s “seeing anyone” over tea, sending my emotionally constipated slytherin son into a coughing fit
  • Wish Upon a Star (As Dreamers Do) by ICMezzo - “There’s plant magic and celestial magic and dark magic and normal magic…Then there are wishes, and dreams, and love, and those are even more magical still.”
    • draco is a wishmaker (i’M EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT) and harry is a hogwarts consultant who has a wish to make
  • Seeing Draco Malfoy by khalulu - harry loses his glasses and they end up in draco’s hands…THINGS ESCALATE.
    • in which harry buys draco flowers and then upon being asked “you brought me flowers?” immediately splutters “nO!??!?1″
    • ALSO featuring: harry complimenting draco by telling him he has a “face like a white - pointiness”
    • you just can’t make this stuff up
  • Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill - THE CLASSIC!!!! includes a healthy dose of angst but mostly will delight your socks off. eighth year shenanigans!!! the whole hogwarts crew being wonderful!!! guaranteed to make you cry over chocolate cupcakes for the rest of your life!!! A MUST READ
  • Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi - another with a healthy dose of ~serious emotions~ but it’s also an absolute delight and I’D BE REMISS TO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE EVERYONE READ IT IMMEDIATELY. it’s one of the best!!!!
    • “Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.”
    • featuring some of the Greatest Characterization Ever, lots of teasing and bickering, and lots of draco malfoy being perpetually pissy about just how beautiful The Chosen One is
    • “Thin winter sunlight gleamed off his high cheekbones, yet another in a long line of irritations.”
    • “Sorry, what?” Potter asked, all flawless brown skin and sharp jawline, the arsehole.
    • R E A D  I T

okay, I’ll leave you with those six for now. apologies if you didn’t want me to ramble for ages about how great all of these are but…your first mistake would be assuming I have self-control :o)

HOPE THESE SUIT YOU, LOVELY ANON!!! :’’) they’re all utterly fantastic and I cannot imagine you not loving any single one of them. please enjoy and do let me know if you read any!!!! :3 <33333333

Where did all those feelings go? People spend their whole lives looking for love. Poems and songs and entire novels are written about it. But how can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins?
—  Nicola Yoon, The Sun is Also a Star
The Signs As Stephen King Novels

Aries: The Shining

Taurus: Cujo

Gemini: The Dark Half

Cancer: Misery

Leo: Bag of Bones

Virgo: Dreamcatcher

Libra: The Dead Zone

Scorpio: IT

Sagittarius: Insomnia

Capricorn: Under the Dome

Aquarius: Needful Things

Pisces: Carrie


have it as proof that i’m still alive


Marvel POC Week : Day 1: Favorite Female POC » Cindy Moon/Silk

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging to inform you that I saw The Handmaiden last night and it instantly catapulted into my top ten movies list

If you like

  • lesbians
  • HAPPY lesbians
  • (I know that’s a spoiler but IT’S IMPORTANT)
  • absolutely gorgeous visuals
  • and costumes
  • and music
  • not a single white character because the setting is 1930′s Japan-occupied Korea
  • lesbians
  • absolutely gorgeous visuals that vaguely reminded me of Hannibal, because of the very deliberate cinematography and the attention lavished upon the DEEPLY DISTURBING and the fact that pretty much every scene has a very tense thread of eroticism
  • Eroticism that sometimes purposefully REALLY SHOULDN’T BE THERE, OH DEAR GOD
  • a plot that folds in and around on itself like a fucking origami
  • and that is explicitly about how the exploitation of women is awful
  • and that made my jaw hit the floor at least four different times, somewhere M. Night Shyamalan is sobbing in the corner
  • no seriously, I need to watch this at least once more because THE TWISTS, SWEET JESUS, I WAS RIVETED
  • lesbians
  • who are smart af and also ADORABLE SCHMOOPY NERDS
  • villains who get what they deserve
  • obligatory sexy corset-removing scenes
  • obligatory sexy bathtime scenes
  • obligatory explicit sex scenes that are really the only beef I have with this movie because was that really necessary did the camera have to linger that long
  • literally being able to make all the handmaiden and feudal lord jokes I know you guys love
  • Gone Girl if everything was much prettier and 500% more gay
  • literally gay

you need to see it. 

Probably twice.

fic editsHiding Place (ao3) by @alivingfire​ ​ - E, 365k

Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.
From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.

the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.


[ 20 • 3 ] science ft. slightly dead succulents!

get over it

pairings: yoongi x reader

word count: 4,203 (this is the most i’ve ever written what is this)

genre: smut and a bit of angst ig

for this request

Originally posted by yoonmin


Being a bartender in one of the biggest bars in town was something you loved. The name of the bar was DeTane, and the pay was more than what you wished for and the people in your work environment were easy to get along with. The customers that came to the bar acted responsibly as they needed to and there was hardly any trouble around. Although the customers usually came to the bar to get out and have fun with friends, there were a few people who drank just to forget. Men and women of different ages came to you to whip up the strongest beverage you could muster and you gladly listened to their sob stories. You had no problem with this, even though at times you feel you’re being an invasion of privacy, they would always talk about their problems. But no one could blame them. You were the type of person who would just listen and advise like an expert that they found it hard not to spill everything to you.

Those kind of customers would regularly return after talking to you and would often bring along friends under their recommendation, because not only were your mixes good but the whole atmosphere of the bar was one that everyone seemed to enjoy. However, as of late, the type of customers who’d come with broken hearts weren’t coming as often. You thought it was because it was the end of the year and most people would just forget about their troubles before the new year so they could start off fresh. But just because it wasn’t often, that didn’t mean no one would come up to you.

Like the black-haired young man sitting on the stool in front of you. You could immediately tell that he was one of those people and so you made your way up to him, “Hey there, welcome to DeTane. What can I get you? First drinks are always on the house.” You say. He looks up at you and you almost lose your breath. His pale skin was tinged with small brushes of pink underneath his eyes, on the tip of his nose as well as around the lips, which you could only guess was from crying. But nonetheless, he held a mysterious aura that made him even more attractive than he looked. “Just the strongest you have, please.” He asks, before dropping his head down. You nod before turning around and going off to make his drink, appearing in front of him a few minutes later. “Thanks.” He spoke as you offered him a small smile to which he falsely returned before grabbing his drink and taken a long swig from it, his eyes clenching tightly as the bitterness hit him, immediately making the world around him spin slightly.

You turned around to serve a few more customers before another one of bartenders returned to help you out. Once all the customers had gone to return to the dance floor, you turned your head to see the man still sitting at his stool. You made your way over to him and grabbed his now empty glass, “Another one? Or do you want something else?” You ask, turning around to place it in the sink, “I’ll have a round of shots this time, thanks.” He says, crossing his arms over the table. You nod and grab a shot glass as well as a full bottle of vodka before placing it in front of him. He handed you a bill in return before helping himself to a few rounds of the mini beverage.

“It must’ve been a serious one, huh?” You ask, grabbing a cloth on the counter to clean off the drops of liquid splattered on the surface. “4 years long serious.” He replied, glaring at the bottle as if the bottle represented his partner, or ex-partner. “Ouch, 2 years and over are always the worst.” You say, remembering back from all the customers who’d come in looking worse than this man, and saying how their partner of 2+ years did something wrong. “I mean this is what happened right,” He starts off and you drop your cloth into your apron to give him your full attention, “We actually broke up a few weeks ago because we loved each other too much. But when you love someone so much, it becomes too suffocating. When we were apart we longed for each other so much, it actually killed both of us emotionally.” He says. You nod as you drink up his words. He was putting his emotions into each syllable, you could tell by the tiny crack in his voice as he spoke, and it only encouraged you to be hooked in even more. He took another shot before reconnecting his eyes with yours, “So we decided to just take a break, but that turned into a break up. And just a few hours ago, she came by my place and told me that we should both move on to other people.” His voice is quieter now and you have to lean in closer to actually hear him over the loud music. You’re close enough to notice the small tears that appear in his eyes, and you finally understand how heartbroken he really is.

“So did she move on?” You ask, your voice a gentle whisper as you lean a little bit closer so he could hear you. “No, worse. She was seeing someone during the week we broke up. She said it was so she could lose some of the feelings she had for me. But c’mon, who’d actually believe that bullshit.” He says, before he snaps as if he’d just realised how close you were to him. “Don’t come closer.” He whispered once again, making your cheeks heat in embarrassment, “Sorry, I just couldn’t hear you.” You apologise before you catch his head shaking, “No, it’s not that. It’s just that you smell like her.” He says. You stare at him in shock, being heartbroken was one thing, but being reminded of your lover was even more painful than that, and you knew the feeling exactly. “I’m sorry.” You says, looking at him with sympathetic eyes, just as the first tear rolls down his cheek.

He quickly wipes it away before he quickly finishes the drink, “Don’t worry about it. I should go now…” He looked at your name tag, “Y/N.” You nod, feeling too awkward to say anything, “Alright, thanks for coming in…” “Yoongi. Min Yoongi.” He finishes your sentence before turning around and walking out of the bar. Poor guy. You think to yourself. Too blinded by love that he can’t see what he needs to get over it.

That day wasn’t the last time you spotted Yoongi. A week later, he made another appearance in front of you. “Yoongi. You’re back. How’ve you been?” You asked, flashing your usual smile at him. Almost instantly, his reply is a small smile in return and an ‘Okay.” He sits down on the same stool and your hand up the now clean glass before walking over to him. “How is she?” You ask after you start making the drink he’d ordered. “She’s so confusing, I swear. It’s like she’s taken a complete 180 and now she wants to get back with me. I’m sorry I know how I sound like a teenage girl who’s just broken up with some fuckboy, but I just don’t know what to do. I love her but I hate it at the same time.” He says. You give him his drink, as you look at him in sympathy, “I wish there was some way I could help. But I’m a bartender, not a matchmaker. I have no guarantee anything I suggest will go right.” You say.

At this point, you know what he needs. A rebound. A person for him to be with just so he can see what it’s like to be with someone else before he makes up his mind. But you know that now isn’t the best time to tell him that, so feeding him with white lies is what you do for the next few weeks, all while hinting little things about your idea.

You had no idea why, but everyday as you walked into work, an eager thought washed over you as you hoped to see Yoongi once again. There were customers who’d told you their sob stories, but they were always the same and were never as deep as Yoongi’s. You felt like his story was a sad romance and you just found yourself hooked onto him. Thinking about it now, you realise how cringeworthy you were when the bar was beginning to close and you weren’t able to see the male once again. You had no idea, but Yoongi loved coming in to see you too. He liked how you listened to him when his own friends wouldn’t. He liked how you attempted to give him any advice. But nonetheless, he’d still always come back more blue than the visit before.

And you were slowly getting sick of it.

On the last visit, just when you thought he couldn’t have been more heart broken, he walked past the large crowd and over to the bar. You noticed his puffy red eyes, and you silently thanked your lucky stars that you’d asked you manager if you could finish early for the night for ‘family business’. He took a seat at the stool as you began packing your stuff, “Wait Y/N. Where are you going?” You hear his voice ask you. You sling the handle of your bag over your shoulder and exit the bar before making your way to him. As you’re walking to him, his eyes fall over your figure, having only seen the top half of your body, he only notices how perfect you actually looked. Once you finally reach him, his eyes immediately snap up to meet yours, and he swears you’ve trapped in some sort of daze. You no longer smell like his ex-lover and that’s because as soon as you got home that night, you threw out that perfume, despite the fact that it was one of your favourites, and switched to a different one. “Come with me.” You say, wrapping your small hand around his wrist before making your way out through the back entrance.

You pull him over to your car and climb into the driver’s seat after offering the passenger. “What’re you doing?” He asks after a few minutes when you’re driving out of the car park and down the road to your apartment. “I’m helping you. You clearly need to get over this lover of yours, and there is only one way for that to be happen. Be with someone else.” You say, but once you hear a scoff escape his lip you raise an eyebrow up at him. “What makes you think I want to fuck you?” He asks, crossing his arms over his shoulder, “Everyone notices the way you look at me whenever you come to DeTane. We’re not stupid and also, because I want to fuck you.” You say, in a nonchalant tone. He almost chokes on his saliva as soon as you say that, but he quickly recovers himself as you park your car beside the tall building. “Well then. What’re we waiting for?” He asks as he slides a hand up the inside of your thigh. You bite down on your lip as your hand snatched his away, “Yoongi, inside.” You say, resting his hand on his own thigh before turning your car engine off and exiting the vehicle.

You’re making your way up to you unit when you feel Yoongi’s presence right behind you. He hands rest on your butt as you walk up the stairs, squeezing them a little making you yelp out in surprise. You let out a frustrated sigh as your hand rummages through your bag, your keys being pulled out once you’d found the chain. You stop in front of your door and with fumbly hands, try to unlock the door. You feel Yoongi’s lips hungrily suck on your skin, while his hands roam the front of your body, “You’re not… Helping here.” You manage to hiss out as he squeezes one of your breasts with his hand. You quickly unlock the door and step inside, slipping out of your shoes before Yoongi followed you inside and closed the door behind him. He crashes you against the wall and immediately connects his lips with yours. He easily takes our hands with one hand and holds it up your head.

He lips move down to your neck before he sucks on your skin, giving each of the purple spots a small kiss as soon as he’s satisfied with the colour. You suck your bottom up between your teeth as you look at him, “Fuck Yoon-” He cuts you off mid-sentence by crashing his lips onto yours, slipping his tongue in as soon as your lips connect. You shake your head before pulling back from the kiss. “You think you’re being dom? Ha think again.” You smirk, pulling your wrists from his hold while your hands wrest on his shoulders as you push him to the other side of the hallway against the wall. Your lips are attacking each other’s again and your tongues are wrestling in his mouth, yours taking over his. The kiss was captivating your breaths and before you knew it, the burning in your lungs were too strong that you had to pull away. You rest your forehead on the dip in between his neck and shoulder, both of your soft pants filling the air. You lean your lips forward to place soft kisses along his collarbone. “Y/N. Bedroom.” He whispers into your ear.

You nod before taking his hand in yours and you’re leading him up the small steps before entering your room. You push him back onto your bed before climbing on top of him, stopping on his waist with your legs on either side of him so you were straddling him. You hands slowly went up to unbutton your shirt. Your hands moving at a teasingly slow pace that has a low growl emitting from Yoongi’s lips. You let out a small chuckle as yours fall on his, “Patience, Yoongi. Let me help you.” You whisper, leaning down to place a soft kiss on his lips. He leans in towards the kiss, wanting to get more of you but you sit back up before he can even try, causing a whimper to escape from him. You smile down at him before unbuttoning the rest of your shirt and dropping it onto the floor beside the bed, leaving you in your white bra and black leather jeans. You smirk to yourself at his awestruck reaction before you stand up and pull your pants down your legs. You climb back on the bed and pull his jeans down his legs, your eyes never breaking off his hard gaze until the bulge in his pants is standing too tall not to notice.

In one swift movement, your hands grip the waistband of his boxers and you pull them down his legs, discarding it to the floor. You admire his impressive length for a few seconds before you wet your lips with your tongue and lean forward, licking a long strip up from the base to the tip, earning a shiver to emit throughout the male’s body. Your hands grip his thighs as you place a chaste kiss on his tip to catch the few drops of pre-cum that’s falling from the tip and before he could even let out a small sigh, your mouth is wrapped around his long cock. Your head bobbing up and down to take as much of him as you possibly can. You watch the expression on his face shrivel up in pleasure as his hands, which were previously gripping harshly on the sheets, fly up to your hair, tangling themselves in between the strands to pull you in closer. The feeling of him hit the back of your throat causes a cry of pleasure to escape his lips.

The sight makes you sigh in content and as you feel your saliva building up in your mouth, on natural instinct, you swallow what you can. The sensation making Yoongi thrust his hip upwards, causing you to gag. Your hands moved up to his hips to hold him down as you felt his cock twitch in his mouth. You moved one of your hands to play with his balls, playing with to encourage his orgasm. As soon as you hollowed out your cheeks, he immediately came undone, his back arching off the bed as his load shot down your throat. You slowly bobbed your head up and down to ride out his high, lifting your head up after a few seconds. You placed a small kiss on the tip of his loose member before sitting up straight to look at his face, a smile appearing when you watched his face become worn out. “That was the best fucking orgasm I’ve had.” He says, after a few more moments of just lying in silence. You smiled in victory before leaning down, your hands grabbing the hem of his shirt before pulling it up, you barely got to see the skin on his stomach before his hands catch your wrist. “No let me.” He offers, his hands digging under your arms to pull you up. His lips met yours in a passionately rough kiss and before he knew it, he flipped your position so he was on top of you.

He pulled back from the kiss and your eyes met once again, from this angle you could see the dangerous lustful look in his hooded eyes. “I’m going to fuck you fucking hard, you’re going to rethink all those thoughts you had of me in the bar.” He growls, dipping his head down to bite on your collarbone. A cry of pleasure escaped your lips at the feeling of his tongue running over the painful pleasure from his bites. A small whimper escaped your lips as he sat up, the feeling of his mouth attacking your soft skin disappearing completely, his hands grabbed the hem of his shirt before pulling the fabric up over his head and dropped it on the floor. Your eyes widened as you marvelled his built frame, covered by his milky white skin. Once he noticed your eyes drinking up his figure, he couldn’t help a cocky statement from escaping his lips, “LIke what you see, babe?” Your cheeks heated up as your eyes flew up to his, “N-no.” You simply stuttered, making him chuckle before he leaned down, planting his elbows down on either side of your head, his face was dangerously close to yours, you could make out the fine details on his lips as he spoke, “Well that’s a shame, because by the end of this, it’s going to be covered with deep red scratches from you.” He growled, crashing his lips to yours once again before pulling back.

He moved one of his hands and placed the tip of his finger on your lips, before trailing down your neck and in between the valley of your breasts. His movement stopped, as did his gaze on your bra, you watched him with a hitched breath as his arms wrap around your body, one hand lifting your back up while the other skillfully unhooks your bra and in a matter of seconds, your bra is forgotten about. Next are your panties. His eyes fall on the growing patch of stain that has darkened the spot on top of your clit, and it has his cock growing harder again. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband before pulling it down your long legs. Once it’s completely off, he brings the material up to his mouth, his tongue slipping from his lips as he licks a long strip up the fabric, groaning at the sweet taste of your juices. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” He moans as his finger runs up between your folds, collecting your juices on his finger before sticking into you mouth.

The sight almost brings tears in your eyes at how painfully slow he’s being, but it doesn’t stop the small whimper to escape your lips, “Fuck me, Yoongi. Please.” You beg, looking into his eyes. “Since you asked so nicely, princess.” He agreed. “Condom?” He asks, “I’m on the pill.” You reassure, making him nod before he grabs your wrists with both his hands, holding them on either side of your head, his face a few millimetres away from yours, “Ready to picked you fucked into oblivion?” He asks, moving his position so he was sitting in between your legs. A small for you is all he needs before he pushes his member all the way into you. He doesn’t allow you to adjust this, much to your dismay, before he pulls his hips back and snaps it back. You arch your back off the mattress as you let out a cry of pleasure at the feeling of him filling you up. His thrusts eventually began growing slower, yet at the same time they were powerful that you were if he hadn’t been pinning you down, you would’ve hit the headboard by now.

After a few more thrusts of his hips, he released his hold on you and sat up, taking one of your legs and throwing it over his shoulder before his grinded into you. You let out a strangled moan at the feeling of the new feeling before one of your hands up behind his neck, pulling him down so that his body was lying on top of yours. His grinds began growing faster, making your moans of his name growing faster, “Fuck, Yoongi.” You breathed out, biting down on your lips as his powerful thrust began meeting with your jerks. “You like it when I’m pounding into you, don’t you babe.” He growled into your ear, causing you to nod as your mouth turned into a small ‘o’ shape. Your hands flew to the his back, your nails digging into his skin at the pleasure of him in you. Your hands travelled down his muscular back, making long red lines to appear following your nails. The pain turned Yoongi on to no end, as both of your highs were starting to appear. He moved one of his hands down to your clit, rubbing on your sensitive bud to help you with your orgasm, while his name continuously escaped your mouth in soft whimpers. “Cum for me, baby. Cum around my cock like I know you can.” He growled into your ear, his teeth latching itself onto your earlobe as he pulled it back slightly. The pleasure he was giving to you was becoming un🐻able (i’m sorry i had to. if you’re on a computer or something that doesn’t see emojis, it’s a bear. and also don’t read the tags if you hate this pun) for you, in a matter of seconds, you clenched your walls around him and came around him. “Fuck, fuck Yoongi,” You cried out as his high washed over him a couple seconds after yours, low grunts escaping his lips as he came undone inside you. The feeling of his seed entering you, making you bite down on your lip, hard enough to draw blood. He continued riding out both of your highs before he pulled out of you and falling on the space next to you, wincing slightly as his scratches touched the soft fabric of the bed.

You turned your head towards him, a worried look on your face, “Fuck, I’m sorry, are you alright? I didn’t mean to scratch you that har-” He cut you off with a kiss on your lips, to which you immediately melted in. He pulled away seconds later, giving the both of your to regain your breathing before he replied, “It’s fine, I asked for it.” He smiled. You returned the smile and looked away, already feeling the air beginning to escape at the curve of his lips. The two of you lay in silence for a couple minutes, regaining from probably one of the best sex both of you have ever had before he turned to you, his arm looping around your waist to pull you in closer to his chest. “Thanks for this. I don’t think she’ll be on my mind again anytime soon.” You let out a small laugh through your nose before looking up at him, “I’m glad I could help you forget, even if it was just for a little while.” You reply before leaning up and placing a small kiss on the side of his lips. “Not for a little while. You’re going to be the one stuck in my mind. I’ll forever remember how you moaned my name as I fucked you balls-deep and how pretty you looked with your mouth wrapped around my cock and also-” Before he could finish talking, you capture his lips in yours for a rough kiss, pulling away after god knows how long. “Round two?” You ask, getting a reply from him before he crawls on top of you, with his hands pinning you down, both of you ready for a much-needed round two.

this is a one-shot pls don’t kill me and ask for a part 2 coz i can’t do that

also, i cried when i found out about yoongi :(( hope he feels better soon

Why I Have To Meet Jack

You guys may well think I’m silly for writing this post, but I’m going to anyway. I have thoughts and I need to get them out. I’m a firm believer in writing down your emotions rather than bottling them up. 

Anyway. If you’re tired of my complaining about not meeting Jack, then I won’t blame you for scrolling away from this right away. Feel free, or you can carry on reading. But not only am I saying the obstacles that are in my way, I’m also writing exactly why meeting Jack matters so much to me. I’ve broken it down so hopefully it’s easier for you guys to read.

I know I’ve posted about this a billion times before, but I feel the need to do it again. I kind of stop thinking about it, and then something reminds me again. I see gifs from PAX, I read about people meeting him. I’m happy for everyone who does, but I’m reminded that it hasn’t happened to me and maybe never will. I feel selfish for thinking this, but I can’t help it.

Just wait, it will happen, I hear you say. But that’s easier said than done, for a number of reasons. If it was just as simple as being too young to go on my own or whatever, then yes, it would only be a matter of time. But it’s not.

First of all, I can’t afford to go to conventions (particularly so if they are in another country, and I’m yet to find one in the UK that Jack goes to). I currently don’t earn, and even when I do it won’t be much - musicians often don’t earn much at first, and I’m not making anything from YouTube “yet” (I hope I will but it may never take off for all I know. I can’t rely on it).

Then there’s my current mental state. Going to a convention would be difficult thanks to my wonderful social anxiety. Just the thought of the crowds, the people around me while travelling… And I imagine that travelling, and the convention itself, would take a lot of energy - possibly too much for my depression to handle. Maybe I could push through it to meet Jack, but I don’t know; would it be worth risking putting myself under too much pressure?

And that’s not all. Oh yes, there’s more. Getting to another country is difficult for me for another reason. I can’t do it by myself. Yes, I’m 21 years old and I don’t know how to go through an airport by myself. I feel stupid. Not just because I’ve never learnt how, but also I struggle with things like that. I always have. I’m particularly brilliant at getting lost. My anxiety loves it, not.

And there’s more. Since I’ve started watching Jack, I’ve been at university/college so I haven’t had the time to go away to conventions. Once I leave here in a couple of months time (*panics*), I will be focusing a lot on YouTube, and probably having to find a job (yawn). And until I find one and have money, I can’t go even if I have the time.

This may well sound like I’m making excuses, but honestly… I’m really not. I wouldn’t. This is something I need to do in my lifetime, it’s a dream of mine. Jack is my hero. I have no reason to make any excuses. These are all genuine barriers to one of my life goals. Obstacles that feel insurmountable. And it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to think that I may never meet the person who began to turn my life around. It breaks my heart to think that I may never get to thank him in person for what he’s done. It breaks my heart to think that I may never be able to hug him. He feels like a long distance friend - or even family, if I can say that. Jack means the world to me. More than he’ll ever know - but if I meet him, I can get closer to expressing it than I can from here.

I have thoughts about what I would do if I did meet Jack. I already know that I will make a folder or something of stuff I’ve made for him (fanart, poems, etc) and I’ll give it to him. And, of course, I’ll give him the biggest hugs he’s ever had. I’ll do my best to let him know what he means to me. I’ll tell him about how he’s inspired me and that my YouTube channel is beginning to grow thanks to him giving me the courage to make more videos. I was anxious to go on camera, but he made me brave, and now I love it immensely and want to do it for as long as possible.

Jack is not just a YouTuber to me. He’s been a counsellor when I’ve needed advice and someone to care. Jack has been a friend when I’ve felt alone, believing in me even when I didn’t anymore. He’s been a beautiful green light in the pitch black void of depression and anxiety, the hope I needed when mine was all gone. 

He’s been like an annoying older brother who makes stupid jokes to make you laugh - which means even more to me as one of my older brothers, who made me laugh a lot, is no longer with us. He’s been someone to watch playing games now that I can’t watch my brother play them anymore.

He’s been a lullaby when I couldn’t sleep, cradling me with kindness and wrapping me up in smiles and laughter. He’s been a soothing voice amongst the painful noise of life. He’s held my hand when I’ve been hurting, wiping away the tears from my eyes. He’s started to heal the cracks in my heart and mind. When I was starting to lose sight of anything good in life, having less and less reasons to smile, he showed me that things weren’t so bad after all. He taught me to genuinely smile again.

And Jack is the reason why I found this wonderful community, and have made amazing friends who have made me feel cared about. You guys have made me feel less lonely despite the isolation of social anxiety and depression. Without Jack, I probably wouldn’t know any of you exist.

Jack is my hero.

I need to meet him some day.

I have to.

When your mom tells you to stop watching Voltron to go socialize with family

i’m mad. i’m angry. i’m upset. i’m pissed

(alternatively titled: in a not so shocking turn of events, dwts lets me down yet again)

this show is so fucking predictable and i’m so tired

(disclaimer: this is a long rant about this show and james and sharna and how they should have won so if you were rooting for laurie and val or you know this will anger you, i wouldn’t read this) 

Keep reading

I am a ball of emotions after this chapter, every word Touka said, every honest feeling she delivers,,—how she gives Amon advice/helps him to have courage and go see Akira, speaking about her own personal feelings and fears, the exchange of thoughts.. the way Amon feels about the fact she’s rabbit but doesn’t blame her, he understands the circumstances&the other side of the story, honestly..  everything about this talk with Amon was everything I ever wanted and never expected.


  • Almost never uses the past tense; he has his own construction for it. Seems to use “I’m” to denote instances of past tense, ie “I’m lost my gear too, you know,” to indicate something that has already happened, and then switching immediately to “I play with my all new gear” to indicate present. Which means that “But I know I’m score” or “I’m score” is Geno saying “But I knew I would score” and “I scored.” It’s Geno indicating a tense change in a really consistent way and is pretty ingenious because it means so much less conjugating; even now, when his English has gotten so good, he sticks with it, even when he DOES successfully conjugate all or part of the sentence.
  • Does in fact use “you” when he’s speaking to someone, rather than the third-person that shows up in fic all the time. I think that’s a bit of a misunderstanding. He does use names a lot, and because his sentence structure is so pared down they seem a little more noticeable, but he would say, “Sid! Look!” to ask someone to look at Sid, and he would say, “Sid, look,” to ask Sid to look at something, but he wouldn’t say “Sid look?” That comma is really important! He would say “You look?” instead.
  • Ignores articles and tenses in general (uses the I’m instead). “Exciting, long time not win.” “It’s little bit bad hands.” Goes for the simplest, most straight-forward construction possible, cutting out a lot of the difficult stuff that is not actually necessary to get his point across.
  • Favourite example of nearly everything: “Why you say I’m never backcheck?” Cuts out extraneous words, check; uses “you” rather than third-person name, check; uses “I’m” to indicate that he’s referring to past instances of being accused of supposedly failing to backcheck, even if it doesn’t map perfectly onto the way we would use tenses in the ‘proper’ English construction of the sentence.

(Text courtesy of pollyrepeat, who gave me permission to post.)

  • he’s tol af
  • black hair
  • comes up like someone intimidating but is actually a dork
  • he jokes around but know when to back off and if he realize he went too far apologize right away
  • his horrible laugh
  • he wants to make nekomata’s dream true, he respect his coach so much
  • HIS ARMS !!!!!!! !!!!
  • when kenma is lost in his games and get missed he goes and search for him himself // light novel, during the trip to miyagi before playing agianst karasuno
  • biggest meme
  • he helps kenma with his studies 
  • he’s in prep college class and is also captain so he has plenty of responsabilities already
  • he’s in prep college class and how awesome is that!!! !!!!¡¡¡¡
  • he wants to fight people he doesn’t like 24/7
  • he also helps people that is not from his team *coughtcought||tsukki||coughtcouht*
  • HIS BACK DAMN !!!11!!1!
  • his provocation comments are on point
  • he knows exactly what to say and how to say it for encouring people to do better and try
  • he’s one of the most reliable characters imo 
  • his smile is so adorable it makes me cry
  • he says he is kind as a joke but he actually is, he’s probably not aware of how great of a person he is and makes me want to hug him
  • he sleeps on his stomach while pressing two pillows onto both his ears and his hair and it makes me want to hug him too
  • his leadership skills are unquestionable
  • silly comebacks like “for someone who is so clearly lacking in docosahexaenoix acid, I dont think your opinions have much validity”
  • has grudge on people for silly things “coughtcought||chapter200||coughtcought||yaku||coughcough*
  • he was so into volleyball as a kid that he used to tried out the techniques he watched being used in matches on tv.
  • he has the taste of an old man for food, pls save him
  • his current concern is that he can’t get rid of his bedhead hair, after all this years
  • he’s very skilled at shuffling cards. (light novel) @ furudate let me know how much time he spends playing card games and with who
  • he’s passionate af and works hard to achieve his goals
  • he’s cute af but also hot af
  • he gets as excited as yamamoto sometimes and it’s beautiful
  • he confuses himself when trying to say something intelligent
  • he’s so supportive, it makes me cry
  • don’t take shit from people who can’t be objective in their view and doesn’t stay unspoken either