you don't know my life

No. No no no no no no. I know my daughter! I know what she's doing every second of the day. All her activities, all her internets, I know she's definitely not some sword fighting hooligan!

You don’t know me at all!

Huh, that sounds familiar

My daughter is blind. She is blind and tiny and helpless and fragile. She cannot help you!

Yes, I can.

Please tell me someone else noticed this.

  1. I say alrighty then about 150 times a day.
  2. When I lose a giant fuck ton of followers I like to pretend they are just sperm and then I go and wash my face. 
  3. Charity is break dance fighting in my living room.
  4. Skymall magazines need more 13 year olds with booty shorts and an Abercrombie and Fitch right in the first 3 pages so you have to turn around because it smells so horrific. 
  5. I’m doing my best to go to Snark because I’ve gone to church for almost a month and I need a reward. 
  6. I got a fit bit today and I wore it for 6 hours and when I went to see my progress it said hahahahaha fatty. I need to move more and eat less. Also move away from here more and eat crow less. 
  7. I drank the kool-aid once but all I got was a kool-aid mustache and a spit bath. 
  8. I need a blind lover. He could give me everything I ever wanted and wouldn’t have to be subjected to my face. 
  9. I call em like I seem em but they always give me the wrong number.
  10. Reese’s Feces would be a horrible name for a candy. 

so i freaked out some woman in walmart bc i had to pee and the only restrooms open were the mens. so i told her that i could walk in there with a deep voice bc people don’t know my life. I could be a man. But i’m just in drag. I could be really good at tucking and make-up. so we passed this woman as i was saying this and i swear to god she had the most confused and scared look on her face.