you do not want to know of the depraved thoughts my mind has come up with because of this movie

anonymous asked:

Just coming into your inbox to tell you how wonderful I find the D:M series. NGL I have read all of the stories at least twice/thrice because they are just so well written. I've never really read much KiKasa or MidoTaka but yours gives me life. And AkaFuri has always been my #1 so yeah yours is bEST. ANYWAY! Thanks so much for D:M! If you have time/want to, I'd love to see a little fic with KiKasa. Specifically: Ultra scary/intimidating Kise over a oblivious-to-how-attractive-he-is!Kasamatsu xD

Kasamatsu Yukio spent the majority of his life being largely indifferent to Valentine’s Day. Having no sisters or female cousins or female childhood friends to give him obligatory chocolate, and being absolutely incapable of holding a conversation with the girls in his class, it never really seemed like a holiday that was worth his attention.

He expects this holiday to be slightly different, only because it’s Kise’s first Valentine’s at Kaijo, and if nothing else, Kasamatsu expects to spend the day thoroughly exhausted with having to deal with Kise and his fanclub.

So it is somewhat of a surprise when he gets up in the morning only to realize that Kise has left for school without him.


“I hate this holiday,” Kise says, in dark thunderous tones. Kasamatsu has never heard him speak with such intense loathing.

“Er,” Kasamatsu starts. He’d jokingly said, “Why did you leave to school so early? Were you that eager to get chocolate from your fans?” and he didn’t quite know how to respond to this proclamation.

“This holiday is the worst thing ever,” Kise continues.

“You have a lot of chocolate, though, right?” Kasamatsu frowns. Because surely this isn’t the same thing as Moriyama’s constant bemoaning of the “wretchedness and cruelty of this day.” Moriyama, like most of the basketball players, never got chocolate. Kasamatsu can already see Kise with his accumulated piles of chocolate.

“That’s not the point!” Kise insists. “The point is, it’s a stupid holiday! It emboldens people to confess! Which is dumb! No one should confess their feelings, ever. Especially not because a holiday told them too.”

“I guess?” Kasamatsu says, seeing some of the logic there but certainly not all of it and also wondering where the heck Kise was coming with all of this.

“Also, it’s completely sexist and unfair. Boys should give chocolate too. Why can’t boys give obligatory chocolate to the people they care about? Why is that not OK? Boys might want to give chocolate to the people in their life they care about.”

“If you want to give chocolate to someone, you should just give chocolate to someone,” Kasamatsu says.

“I don’t want to give chocolate to anyone,” Kise says, pouting.

“You’re not making any sense,” Kasamatsu says.

“This holiday is the worst.”


“Were you taking chocolate out of Kasamatsu’s locker this morning?” Moriyama asks.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kise says through gritted teeth.

Some realization flashes across Moriyama’s face, “There were rumors last year of some crazy chick going around threatening people who prepared chocolate for Kasamatsu. I didn’t really believe it at the time…”

“And you don’t believe it now, right, Moriyama-senpai?” Kise seethes.

“Riiiiight. You know most of that was just obligatory chocolate anyway, you can’t really deny a guy obligatory chocolate on Valentine’s Day, that’s just petty—yeah, fine, fine, you be you.” He backs away at Kise’s glare.

Valentine’s Day is full time work, and Kise resents the hell out of this. It is the dumbest holiday in the world and he doesn’t even get chocolate from Kasamatsu. There is no point to this holiday even existing.


“It’s just obligatory chocolate,” the women’s basketball captain says. “I’ve known Kasamatsu for these past three years—”

“If it’s just obligatory chocolate, then you don’t really need to give it to him, do you?” Kise says sweetly, while continuing to block her path.

“You can’t seriously object to this, you’ve accepted dozens of chocolate today!”

“Listen, this is war, all of the movies say so,” Kise insists. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. Even obligatory chocolate is a confession of feeling something and I can’t risk it. Also, I will bite off your hand if you keep trying to give him that chocolate.”

“Fine!” She throws her hands up in the air. “God, you are such a child!”

“A child who gets to SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM as him!” Kise tosses back, because let’s face it, he needs to count his victories where he gets them.


Kise flops down on his bed and hates everything. There was nothing like having a whole holiday dedicated to expressing love to really drive in the unrequited nature of his own obsession. And while yes he did see Kuroko’s point (who had been very judgey, during Kise’s guerilla attack last year on Kaijo without anyone knowing it was him thwarting all the chocolate delivery) that his behavior was immoral and depraved and fine he also could see Moriyama’s point that blocking the obligatory chocolate was kind of petty, he also didn’t care. One bit. Because all the chocolate in the world didn’t make up for not getting chocolate from the one person it matters and he hates everything.

Something drops on his chest, causing him to look up and see a bar of chocolate, the kind sold at convenience stores.

“Here,” Kasamatsu says. “I have no idea what’s up with you, but stop being so cranky.”

“Senpai?” Kise says, barely believing what was happening. If any of the other Miracles had the power to shapeshift like he did, he might expect this to be a cruel prank.

“I stopped on my way home to get some chocolate for Mizuki and Ren. I thought about what you said about boys giving obligatory chocolate and I was thinking it’d be pretty sad for those guys to not get anything just because we’re a family of all guys. I figured I’d get some for you and my dad while I was at it.”

“Senpai! Thank you so much! This is amazing! This is the best thing ever!” He stops himself from gushing too much and also from jumping on the other boy. He can be restrained! He can be! He looks down at the chocolate in wonder.

“You’re so weird,” Kasamatsu says, laying down on his own bed. “You’ve gotten chocolate before.”

Kise has to hide his face, so Kasamatsu won’t see his reaction. He’s sure that he must look pathetically in love right now, so he just curls up facing the wall, still clutching the chocolate. It’s only obligatory chocolate, he thinks. But every chocolate was a dangerous sentiment, that’s why he couldn’t let anyone give any to Kasamatsu before.

So this was a feeling, even if it was an obligatory one, and he’ll take what he can get.

Maybe this holiday wasn’t so bad after all.

A/N: Thank you, anon-friend! I am very glad to hear that you enjoy Designation: Miracle! And I am always happy to write pining!Kise and oblivious!Kasamatsu. I hope you don’t mind that I took this chance to write a Valentine’s Day fic. It’s set before they hook up in Designation: Miracle, although I have no idea when exactly because I am so bad about trying to navigate timelines. Woo for lazy writing. Thanks again!! Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!!!!

anonymous asked:

So I just saw this – "mortal enemies accidentally showing up in matching costumes every fucking year" – in one of those prompt list things for halloween, and I thought it'd be perfect for pre-dating Jily!



“No one wants to hook up with me,” Lily announces with a slight pout as she delivers a round of drinks to their table.

Marlene takes a long pull of her beer before drawling, “Tragic,” and then leans over to mess with her topknot. “Don’t know why; dressing as Wilma Flintstone sends a certain kind of subliminal message. I thought guys would be into that.”

She bats her hands away. “You’re terrible,” she sniffs, “Besides, it’s a retro costume party. At least I put in some effort to come as something other than a pot smoking hippie.”

“Hey,” says Marlene, poking her in the arm, “I’m a hot pot smoking hippie. Get your facts straight.”

“The hottest,” Lily replies with a straight face.

Mary chooses that moment to appear, almost breaking an ankle in her ridiculous platform heels. Wisps of hair are sticking to her temples and she impatiently bats them out of the way before beaming at Lily.

“Your husband is here!”

She does not choke on her rum and coke, but she comes pretty fucking close to doing just that.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

OMG I SAW YOUR PHOTO FIC AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! I want to see how the Miracles will react when they find out (which will probably happen sooner than later). I get the feeling that this will end with the Miracles with their own group photo in their own set of t-shirts as insisted by the Miracle Boyfriends Club lololol

Kuroko finds the shirt when he does the laundry.

He looks at the shirt for longer than he should, because Kagami walks in and finds him like that. “Kuroko, do you—ack!” Kagami moves with the instincts of a seasoned athlete and grabs the shirt out of Kuroko’s hands before Kuroko can pull back.

“Kagami-kun, you are so shameless, I had no idea,” Kuroko says passively.

“It’s not what you think! It’s not mine!”

“It belongs to someone else who is dating a Miracle, then?” Kuroko inquires, politely.

“I mean it’s,” Kagami flushes, “OK, it’s mine, but it was all Takao’s fault. He made it.”

“I see,” Kuroko says. He tries to picture Kagami in the shirt (and finds that he actually really wants to see Kagami in the shirt), “That color would not go well with your hair at all.”

“I know, shut up.” Kagami scrunches up the shirt into a ball and refuses to meet his gaze. “I wanted a black one.”

Which, Kuroko notes, is not the same thing as not wanting to wear the shirt at all. A flush of warmth spreads through his body, and Kuroko is pretty sure he can convince Kagami to wear the shirt for him after all.


Kise finds the shirt on accident, when he’s rifling through Kasamatsu’s dresser. (He’s run out of clothes, and he really hates doing laundry and loves wearing Kasamatsu’s clothes, so really, it only makes sense to combine these two things by picking through Kasamatsu’s shirts).

It’s in the very back of the bottom drawer, shoved into the corner, and when Kise finds it he makes an inhaling, gasping, squealing noise that must sound very alarming because Kasamatsu comes storming in, “Oi, Kise, what’s wrong—oh, crap.”

Senpai,” Kise breathes, “Please put this on, please, please.”

“Not even in your wildest fantasy,” Kasamatsu says.

“This is definitely going in my fantasies,” Kise agrees. “Please, wear it just once, I will do anything, anything, if you put this on. Any demeaning, most depraved thing you might want, I will do it.”

And to Kise’s surprise, Kasamatsu actually pauses and thinks it over. Kise thinks he might actually die from a combination of happiness and lack of oxygen.

Kasamatsu snatches the shirt from Kise’s hands while he’s distracted.

“Senpai,” Kise pouts.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Kasamatsu says. “The next time I need you to do something.”

“Wha—what’d you say?”

But Kasamatsu has already left, his ears faintly red.


Takao plans very strategically for the reveal. He waits for a time when his mom and sister will be out of the house (they’re at MM Land, with Dr. Kishitani and Naoko, making it absolutely perfect because there’s no chance Midorima’s family will be around either) and then he invites Midorima over for dinner.

Takao has a game he likes to play, it’s called, “Make Shin-chan Blush Increasingly Deeper Shades of Red at Every Opportunity.” The redder Midorima gets, the more points Takao awards himself in this game. He’s winning, so far.

This night, starts with him opening the door wearing an apron. “Shin-chan, you made it!”

“What are you wearing?” Midorima sputters, already faintly red.

Takao grins, “Do you want dinner, a bath, or me?”

Midorima turns around to leave.

“Wait, wait! Come back, I was only kidding,” Takao says, pulling Midorima into the house. “Come on, I actually made dinner!”

“Fool,” Midorima says, redder than before.

Now that he’s in the house, with the door safely closed behind him, Takao goes in for the kill and takes off the apron.

“What—what is that?”

“This old thing?” Takao says, gesturing to his green shirt. “Do you like it? I made it myself.”

“Take that off right now,” Midorima says.

“Ooh, Shin-chan, so bold,” Takao grins, moving to take off his shirt.

That’s not what I meant.”

This is new levels of red on Midorima, and Takao counts this night as a huge success.


Himuro always wears his shirt. Pretty much whenever they’re not required to be in uniform. Murasakibara doesn’t even really bat an eye.

“Dude, I am not going out with you when you’re wearing that shirt,” Fukui says.

“Hm?” Himuro says.

“God, you two are so embarrassing. I am not going to the movies when you’re wearing a matching shirt to your matching boyfriend. Especially since you guys can’t keep your hands off each other.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Himuro says innocently.

“You’re sitting in his lap right now,” Fukui whines.

“Well, we’re not out yet,” Himuro says.

“We’ve been out with you before, it doesn’t stop you,” Liu says. “Change your shirt, Himuro.”

“But I look good in purple, don’t you think?”

“Murochin does look good in purple,” Murasakibara agrees.


“We’re leaving you here,” Fukui says.


Furihata loves his shirt, but he doesn’t know when he can wear it. He is not brave enough to wear it in public, and he would get no end of grief from Kyo if he wore it around the house.

But because he wants to wear the shirt, even when he isn’t necessarily brave enough to show it off to public, he decides to wear it as an undershirt when he’s out to see Akashi. That way, he has the satisfaction of wearing it without anyone else knowing, which does provide a fair amount of satisfaction.

“Furihata,” Akashi says, in the croon of his that’s a mixture of a purr and a command and also makes Furihata shiver with all kinds of thoughts about the kind of situation they’d be in where Akashi could use that voice. “Are you wearing what I think you’re wearing?”

“Wh-what?” Furihata laughs nervously. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve heard about the shirts from Murasakibara, Kise and a very reluctant Midorima. Is that yours?”

Furihata knows he’s blushing. He forgets sometimes that the Miracles do talk to one another. “…Maybe.”

“Please, let me see it?”

Oh god, Furihata really needs to develop some sort of immunity to Akashi when he sounds like that, because it is not good for his health. Akashi asking for anything is a particular weakness of his. Furihata peels off his top shirt, and is pretty sure he must be matching the red shirt that everyone can now see.

“How lovely,” Akashi says, sounding incredibly smug. “That’s a good color for you, Furi.”


“You mean you all have one?” Momoi exclaims. “That’s no fair, I want one! A pink one!”

“You’re a Miracle,” Takao points out. “You’re not qualified to be in our club.”

“I want one for Dai-chan!” Momoi insists.

“I’m not wearing a pink shirt,” Aomine says.

She sniffs. “Then I’ll see if Ryou-kun wants one.”

“No, you won’t!”

“Hmm, good point, Aomine is, technically, a Miracle Boyfriend,” Takao says, gleefully.

“I’m not joining your stupid club,” Aomine says.

“We don’t want you in our club, so you can’t join,” Kagami says.

“Shut up, Kagami, don’t tell me what to do!”

“Aomine-kun would not look good in pink,” Kuroko says innocently.

“Fuck you, Tetsu, I would look awesome in pink.”

“Done and done, then,” Takao says. “I’ll make you one by the next meeting.”

A/N: Thanks, anon-friend! I’ve been wanting to write this story. Special thanks to @shortwhiteafrican whose comment on Archive about the Miracles reactions was so spot on I had to write it (that was you, right, friend? Sorry if it’s not.) Anyway, I am starting the new year with some Designation: Miracle, so thanks, friends!!