you do not get enough love on tumblr

I get it, I’m your second choice, I’m your back up best friend, I’m the person who comforts you when you’re sad and brings you food to cheer you up. The person who gets you to smile and does everything they can to make you happy. But I’m not a good friend right? Maybe that’s why you always go back to someone who’s toxic, who hurts you more than you can count, who doesn’t even stick up for you, and who treats everyone like garbage.
So I’m sorry that I’m a bad friend. I’ll do better, maybe I’ll be enough then.
Please Buy the Korra Comic

Hate being a shill. Cause I’m all for reading scans of comics online. But I would like to provide a little lesson on comics for those not in the know. Comics are probably the shakiest form of entertainment media. Movies video games, music all mainstream sorts of properties expect to push numbers in the millions. Remember a few years back when Square Enix said the tomb raider reboot under preformed when selling “only” 5 million copies in the opening weeks?

Comics are another story entirely. I’m using numbers from last December, but know that they’re pretty standard. The top selling issue last December was Justice League: Suicide Squad at 179,000 issues sold. The rest of the top ten sellers average about 100,000 with # 10 selling 85,000. When we get down to #100 in the top sellers list, we’ve fallen t0 27,000. And below the top one hundred sellers, issues take a nose dive with #200 selling just 8,000 copies. More people will see a movie in the theater in my city in one day then pick up that comic.

And here’s the thing. Of those top 100, sellers, over a third of them were number #1 issues. It’s a sad truth in comics, that the highest selling issue will almost always be the first of a series. After that, it is a guaranteed loss. A series will sell progressively less and less issues as time goes on. You know the saying? Two things in life are certian, death and taxes. Well a third could be comics sell less and less as they go.

Now, Last Airbender, seems do have done well for itself. But I would like to stress how vital it is that the people who are interested in a comic, go out to read it. Fans of the Legend of Korra we know what it’s like to be screwed by the executive’s and studios. If dark horse see’s the numbers of the Korra comics dip, or not meet their expectations, they may not hesitate to end the series. The folks in charge, aren’t dumb. Sites like tumblr show the following of any given IP, and they will expect to get a reasonably large following for this series. 

So please. I beg of thee fans! Do not, wait for the scans of the pages to appear on the internet. If you are able, buy the series when it comes out. If you are unable to because of money reasons, try to spread the awareness for the series. Do what you can. Show the moneyed powers that we care and that this series will be loved with a fanbase devoted enough to make it worth their while to keep the series alive for years to come. I made a post about this awhile ago, but it is a dream of mine to ten years from now look on my bookshelf and see five or more omnibus’s of the Legend of Korra. I’m thirsty for that dork and her engineer and friends and I know thousands of others are too. So to be cheesy, YOU HAVE THE POWER. KEEP KORRA GOING!!!

KLANCE FIC REC LIST #1/?

2

I know I never make original content but here we have it, a fic rec list from yours truely! I’ll say the rating and give the discription, and my opinion as well. Always check tags before reading! BTW these are not in order at all!!

_____________________

Every Colour You See

“Lance always wanted to be an artist. But after a car accident, he’s left with a rare disorder called monochromacy; making him unable to see any colour.
Keith is a rebellious foster kid with a photographic memory and a passion for drawing, making safe places in his art, pieced together through photos in his mind…”

Rating: Teen and Up, 13 Ch; 39K words, Ongoing TW: violence, panic attacks, car accidents, PTSD, check tags on work before reading.

My opinion: From whats there so far, it’s full of support for each other and full of equal panic and angst so read carefully.

_____________________

Not That Bad

“…College AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time.”

Rating: Mature, 12 Ch; 68K words, complete TW: anxiety attacks

My Opinion: This whole work is amazing, it’s well written and it had motercycle Keith who doesn’t want that. Keith is shy, unrelated to Voltron, but the author made it work very well!

______________________

On Thin Ice

“…This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.” 

Rating: Mature, 9 (long) Ch; 150K words, Ongoing TW: anxiety attacks, SLOWBURN

My Opinion: I can not get enough of this fic, it has me waiting for the next update with antcipation at all times of the day, do not read if you care about social life. It’s so well written that lance feels tangible tbh. You get sassy interactions and a deep backstory that’s been yet to be released, although I have some ideas…

ALSO: Please go check out @soottea and @wardenalistair the former being an offical artist and co auther to the later, they are amazing and answer questions and are just generally lovely people! you can look through the tag OTI on my tumblr for some art!

______________________

Never Saw You Coming

“Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story.”

Rating: Mature, 1 (long) Ch; 47K words, Complete TW: anxiety attacks, Mental Torture, Slurs 

My Opinion: This fic was super sharp and harsh on Keith’s side of things, and it stays constant as you read through up until the very (very) end where everything falls into place and it all becomes soft. I love klance *swoons*

_______________________

What are you willing to do?

“They fuck in the Red Lion.”

Rating: Mature, 1 Ch;4K words, Complete 

My Opinion: It’s the discription tbh nothing aside from it, read the tags :*

_______________________

Don’t Break Connection, Baby

“Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet goofball continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet)…”

Rating: Mature, 10 Ch; 38K words, Complete no major warnings but read the tags

My Opinion: This is so good, it has more plot than I expected and it’s actually super sweet. Keith does the hair thing and Lance falls for it as much as I do.

________________________

Dirty Laundry

“Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.” 

Rating: Mature, 9 Ch; 85K words TW: Homophobic slurs, Anxiety, Violence 

My Opinion: SO GOOD, it moves at the perfect pace and you can watch them fall in love from miles away. It is amazing and theres so many times where it hurts to continue reading but you do anyway~

________________________

call me, beep me

“(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck???
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake! “

Rating: General Audience, 10 Ch; 85K words 

My opinion: UgH this is so sweet and I am in love, they’re all in college I think and pidge and hunk are the best wingmen. 

__________________________

I bet you look good on the dancefloor

“So like in ‘Step Up’?”


Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in ‘Step Up’.”


The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance

still

doesn’t believe in dance camps”

Rating: Teen and Up, 7 Ch; 43K words TW: Shiro is shot, but he lives, 

My opinion: The dance fic everyone needs, and meme lance, pidge, hunk group.

____________________________

This is it for now, but I can assure you I’ll be back!! please message me about literally any of these fics, I love to discuss <3

I think when someone leaves
We want to paint them as the bad guy

We are so focused on what they did
Until I looked at what I did

I made him feel bad for everything
He felt like he wasn’t good enough
for me

I think you get so caught up in them
They handle all your bad moods
And you think they’ll never leave

Until they do

And you realize too late
That you had a big part in it too

—  Chapters from my life

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your fic recs so much! I was wondering, do you have any amortentia fic recommendations? Thankyou xx

BLESS YOUR SOUL!1!!!1 It honestly means so much to me when people say that they love my recs so much!

Anyway.

AMORTENTIA FICS YESSSSS!! There’s seriusly not enough fics out there that heavily feature the use of amortentia to get our two boys together. Like, I think the trope is more popular on tumblr through the use of drabbles and stuff - that’s why I’ve split this fic rec into fanfics and drabbles.

Fanfictions

  • Deserving - by Cassis Luna (2k)
    From the prompt: “What if everyone was brewing Amortentia and Harry walks in, asking why the room smells like Malfoy’s cologne”
    (This was the first ever amortentia fic I read which got me into the trope.For a one-shot, it’s packed with heaps of Drarry pining and fluff!

  • deScent - by catratbatsnake (4k)
    Draco is so far gone and doesn’t know it; Hermione is on the warpath.
    (Hermione, jealous of Ron and Lavender’s relationship, decides to use a perfume that has the same effects as amortentia. When Draco and Harry get a whiff of her perfume, they smell each other and everything else is history. So much fluff and humour - a must read!)

  • The Four Times Harry’s Hair Made Draco Jealous (and the one time it didn’t) - by Annesterling (2k)
    Basically, Draco is permanently jealous because Harry can’t control his hair.
    (A story where Draco is pining after Harry, and everyone knows about it except Harry himself)

  • Coffee, parchment and ink - by invisible_slytherin (1k)
    But here they were and Malfoy smelled like coffee and parchment and ink and, somehow, Harry knew that he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else, if given the choice.
    (Amortentia smells like coffee, parchment and ink to Harry, and he’s not going to rest until he finds the person who smells like that)

Drabbles

  • “Hey Malfoy,” Harry calls, “this potion smells as bad as you do.” Malfoy gapes at him. The class is silent. - can be found here

  • “Why the hell does it reek of Potter’s cologne in here, it smells awful.” Draco Malfoy complained loudly as he entered Potions late.” - can be found here

  • “You smell what you love when you brew it…” Harry trailed off. Draco grew even redder, if even possible. “So, I’m a little curious as to why you smelled-”

    “Don’t fucking say it,” Draco snapped.

    “You smelled me.”
    - can be found here

Extra

it gets harder, not easier. each goodbye is one more stab at the heart and I have to constantly repeat to myself “this is only temporary.” how many more goodbyes do we have to say before we can live at peace? how many more lonely nights do we have to sleep through to finally be able to fall asleep wrapped in each others arms? it’s difficult living in this constant fear that one day you will forget me, one day you might not return, and finally when you do return there can be a call any minute thay can once again separate us. but we are worth it. we are worth the wait. we are worth the daily struggle because our love is strong enough to conquer this. this is not permanent and eventually we will get our happy ending. the distance will not destroy us.

Code:Realize ~Fight or Flight~ Saint Germain Gentleman of the Night 

This is the first time I’ve ever seen this illustration of Saint Germain and oh my, he looks quite handsome yet menacing at the same time. Sourced from the Future Blessings visual guide, I only wish it would have been of better quality, but I know Saint Germain does not get enough spotlight, so I had to scan it (and I know a few of those Saint-G fangirls would probably be on my tail if I didn’t, lol). Will Saint Germain choose to protect you or…? I’m sure if you love him, you already know. What can I say? He really looks great on this one and I hope that when the art book release a better version will become available so I can update the scan. Enjoy ^^ 


If re-posting please credit to “flowermiko” at Tumblr or Twitter. DO NOT UPLOAD TO ZEROCHAN. Thank you and enjoy!

renegadeforlemonade  asked:

So... Not entirely sure if anyone has ever asked you this before, but how the hell are you motivated enough to animate stuff? Is it validation from others? The responsibility of catering to an audience? I mean, I'm unmotivated af with my interests. I'm kinda jealous of the people who can eventually get shit done.

The final result and the fact that people loves what I do keeps me going.

Also tumblr is much more mature than the undertale amino.

I think I received 5 messages from people saying that lost respect for what I do because I wasn’t supporting the ships that allow incest and pedophilia… and that basically I hate all my fans lol.

I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them and why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life that you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me about what the word ‘home’ means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bedroom you had when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or dance in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to give your snowman arms? Or would you leave your snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice that the tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you to tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See I want to know more than what you do for a living. I want to know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other peoples wounds. I want to know about you.

Usually you would send these in as asks, but I still haven’t fully figured out how Tumblr works myself and I’ve been chilling on this platform for years! I also take what I can get, cause someone was actually nice enough to give me a request and I’m happy to please! I also kinda hella loved the idea :D
so here you go, I hope you like it @animeawakens


|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||



Zen:

♬ after you officially got together it took weeks until he let the two of you share a bed

♬ it’s not that he doesn’t trust you – although you do like to get hot and heavy – but that he mostly doesn’t trust himself

♬ sometimes he even went as far as to send you home in the middle of a make out session because it got too much for him to handle

♬ whenever you did sleep over – because he just couldn’t let you go – you slept in the bed and he slept on the couch

♬ meaning; you never got a good look at him sleeping

♬ after about two months he finally lets you stay over and you two share a bed

♬ sleeping with Zen is extremely comfortable

♬ he’s a great big spoon but doesn’t mind being the small one either

♬ his hair can get a little tricky when he opens it up, but if that means you get to cuddle him, you can endure a little hair tickling your nose

♬ what you can’t endure is Zen’s beauty

♬ one day you’re awake before him and you decide to actually get up instead of trying to sleep again

♬ you roll out of bed and turn around to get one last glance at sleeping Zen, since you’ve never really seen that

♬ it’s almost like a punch in the guts

♬ he is drop dead gorgeous!

♬ if you didn’t know better you’d think he was posing for some sort of photoshoot right then and there

♬ one of his arms is resting on his chest while the other is effortlessly resting above his head

♬ his white hair runs down his chest like silk as he lays on his back

♬ on top of that his face is relaxed, peaceful, untouched

♬ just watching him breathe in and out like this is mesmerizing

♬ one part of you is almost angry at how effortlessly beautiful he is

♬ the other appreciates it enough to get out your phone and snap a quick pick

♬ “Jaehee will so appreciate this…”


Yoosung:

★ you and Yoosung moved in together much later than both of you would have liked to

★ he had to finish school and starting a vet clinic by yourself was near impossible at his age

★ after a while though, you couldn’t stand being apart and while money was short, you moved in together

★ luckily Jumin invested as a wedding gift and so the clinic came to be

★ money was no longer an issue and so you moved into a bigger, nice apartment together

★ at first everything was great, even sharing a bed, which neither of you had ever done before

★ looking back on it you realized it was due to stress that your sleeping arrangements worked out

★ the second his head hit the pillow Yoosung fell asleep like the dead

★ however, once he’d gotten used to being a vet and the stress reduced, his annoying sleeping habits kicked in

★ for one, he’s a horrible blanket hogger and you woke up more than once during the night because you were shivering without your blanket

★ at the same time you also found yourself waking up from being smothered and that was the biggest problem

★ it was easy to buy a separate blanket set, but getting rid of squid Yoosung was a near impossible feat

★ once he’d wrapped his arms, sometimes legs, around you, there was no getting rid of him

★ only only did you feel smothered, but you began growing hot rather soon as well

★ that boy felt like a hundred degrees wrapped around you

★ when you told him about it he felt extremely ashamed

★ you attempted to sleep in separate beds for a while, since you had work too and being completely drained of energy due to lack of sleep wasn’t an option

★ it didn’t work out

★ suddenly you felt cold and empty without your little octopus wrapped around you

★ after about a week you craved and climbed into back during night

★ about an hour later Yoosung had moved in his sleep and slung his first arm around you

★ half an hour later he was once more completely wrapped around you

★ you just sighed contently

★ “Much better…”

Jaehee:

♨When you and Jaehee first moved in together it was as ‘best friends’

♨ you each had your room and did it for 'practical reasons’

♨ it was just 'easier to split the rent and chores’

♨ for anyone who didn’t notice, those were all keywords for you weren’t quite ready to admit to yourself and each other just how gay you were for one another

♨ eventually you got drunk and made out though and the cat was kind of out of the bag

♨ so you decided to confess and move into the same room

♨ the spare room remained a bedroom, but mostly for guests or just in case things got too much

♨ Jaehee is practical that way

♨ anyway, now that you were finally sleeping in the same room, arrangements had to be made

♨ the closet space had to be shared and a bigger bed had to be bought

♨ you went shopping together and Jaehee had so much fun you fell in love with her smile even more

♨ the first couple of nights you didn’t really focus on how Jaehee slept, to be honest

♨ most of it was either spent cuddling or making out or…well you know what new couples do

♨ a lot of exploration, to put it that way

♨ the fun kind

♨ after all the excitement of a new relationship died down you finally settled and calmed a little

♨ really, that is where your relationship began

♨ it was also then that you first stayed awake for a while to just look at her

♨ Jaehee was always trim and tight, even now that she wasn’t working for Jumin anymore

♨ she was organized and focus

♨ but when she slept, all of it went away and her face evened out, relaxing into something so pure

♨ she slept on her stomach, face buried into the pillow

♨ it looked utterly adorable

♨ she also drooled a little and you couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute and innocent it made her look

♨ almost childlike, really

♨ she was very embarrassed when you brought it up, but you assured her you didn’t mind

♨ after that night you put a box of tissues on her nightstand so she could wipe any remains off

♨ “You should always be as relaxed as when you sleep. I’ll make that happen one day.”

Jumin:

♛ while Jumin was allowed to watch you sleep early on in the relationship, the sentiment wasn’t returned

♛ you weren’t allowed to share a bed for the longest time until he finally craved

♛ morals were overrated anyway, right?

♛ when you first shared a bed you couldn’t really believe your eyes

♛ the second he laid down, it took him a maximum of five minutes to fall asleep

♛ frankly, you found that incredible

♛ sure, he worked until very late and was probably exhausted, but it wasn’t just the speed that surprised you, but also the position he slept in

♛ it was a picture book sleeping position

♛ he lay on his back, blanket pulled up high with both his hands clasped and resting right below his chest

♛ through the entire night, he didn’t move an inch

♛ Not. An. Inch

♛ you knew that some people called him heartless and cold, but you hadn’t expected him to actually sleep like a goddamn vampire!

♛ you actually had nightmares about this

♛ dreaming about him sleeping in a coffin, suddenly waking up with red eyes and fangs bared at you

♛ in his defense, the dream did turn out quite nice

♛ another positive aspect, you totally used his chest as your pillow, arm thrown over his middle

♛ “Hmm, better than any silk pillow ~ ”

Saeyoung/Seven

☼ sharing a bed with him is a plain mess

☼ you love him still, of course, but you spend many nights waking up at least once

☼ at first everything is fine, when the two of you go to sleep

☼ you spoon or cuddle up face to face, the typical couple sleeping positions

☼ then you actually fall asleep and things start to get messy

☼ when it first happened you didn’t think much of it

☼ you woke up the next morning and Seven had spread out over the entire bed, leaving you with close to no space

☼ it was alright though, you understood

☼ he’d been a single person and you were guilty of starfishing at home yourself

☼ you figured he’d eventually get used to sharing his bed with another person and adapt

☼ you figured wrong

☼ in fact, things became even worse from there on

☼ not only did he basically corner you on your own half of the bed, eventually you found yourself waking up to your face kissing the floor

☼ you tested out different things, from sleeping on the different side of the bed to giving him sleeping pills to knock him out

☼ it didn’t work, you always ended up either corner or on the floor

☼ eventually you bought a pull-out bed so now when you fall, you fall onto another mattress

☼ on the plus side; you’ve learned to fall asleep really quick after

☼ you also learned to see positive things even in negative situations

☼ “Sometimes I don’t even wake up anymore! How cool is that?”

Saeran:

☀ Sharing a bed with Saeran took ages

☀ he probably wouldn’t have minded, but you did

☀ the therapist had said to give him some space, let him heal

☀ physical contact in general was a tender topic, let alone sharing a bed

☀ it was a rather intimate thing, even without having sex

☀ you really didn’t want him to push you away or feel caged

☀ it was about half a year into your relationship that he asked you to sleep with him

☀ even in bed, you stayed on your side, not touching him at first

☀ especially when you first turned over too look at him sleep

☀ really, it broke your heart

☀ he slept in a fetus position, making himself so small it must have been uncomfortable

☀ he also didn’t look relaxed or calm like you would expect a sleeping person to look like

☀ even in sleep, he looked troubled

☀ maybe even more so than in real life, where he constantly wore a mask, you realized

☀ you actually found yourself crying at his fate

☀ he woke up one night, hearing you sob

☀ for a moment he just stared at you in confusion, but apparently he understood

☀ without a word he scooted closer and cuddled up to you

☀ it almost made you cry even more, the way he tried to hide himself in your embrace

☀ from then on you held him every night, his face buried in your chest and your fingers brushing through his hair

☀ you didn’t cry anymore, he didn’t look as pained

☀ “I like our new sleeping position much better, you know?”

Jihyun Kim/ V

📷 moving in with V was equally easy as it was hard

📷 even with Rika out of the picture it still felt like she was present

📷 there was a side of the closet unused, a free shelf in the bathroom and decoration too feminine to have been chosen by V himself

📷 even when your things started to fill these spaces it didn’t feel quite right

📷 it just felt so much like she was still there

📷 you hated that feeling, and it made you feel insecure

📷 especially when you first came home late and V was already sleeping

📷 you stepped in and it was obvious that he’d shared a bed before

📷 painfully obvious

📷 he neatly slept on his side of the bed, but his arm was stretched out, reaching for something

📷 you figured it was Rika

📷 you slept on the couch that night

📷 he asked you about it the next morning, but you dodged the topic

📷 when the same thing repeated itself again about two weeks later, he didn’t let you off the hook

📷 so you explained

📷 he was shocked and embarrassed with himself

📷 there was a bit of truth to it, it had been the position he’s slept in with Rika

📷 but he’d gotten over her thanks to you, and hated having hurt you like that

📷 without you asking him, he gets rid of everything that once belonged to her

📷 from there on he pulls you to his chest, holding you close through the night

📷 both of you finally have what you always needed

📷 “Thank you so much, V.”

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||


little side note, I’m sorry this took so long. I went to sleep shortly before I got your request and while the first couple of peeps were easy to write I constantly struggle with V so it took a while. I still hope you guys like it :3

i need to know

i get upset
when you’re not up
at 4:14 am
when i miss you
the most

i wonder often
where you are
what you’re doing
how you are

i drive myself insane
worrying about you
not that you care

i just miss you
at all the hours

of the night

i wish you’d
miss me too

you’d miss me enough
to call me up
to tell me everything

to give me the answers
i deserve
give explanation to why
you left me hanging

i want to know
why you cared
why you stuck around
why you hate me now
why you flipped on me

artist: unknown


toxic parents

it’s hard to prove abuse when there are no scars to show.

“when she guilts me into fulfilling her wishes. he won’t let me move too far from him because he might, just might, need me for something, sometime, someday. that time she was quick, almost too eager, to berate me in a simple argument. when he dominates every conversation we have, forcing his beliefs onto me and invalidating every opinion or personal experience of mine. when i wanted to express & resolve the pain she caused me and she fell silent, dismissing the conversation, sweeping it all under the rug. i hate asking them for favors as they do it out of future leverage and not love; they use money & my financial straits in an attempt to control me.“they know what’s best” and refuse to allow me to mature & create the life i desire. the times she made me her emotional dump, or when he made me ‘the reason’ why he had to hurt me with his words. they never accept responsibility for their decisions, disrespecting my boundaries in any, and every way, because they’re the parents and i belong to them. they meet any discussion with with manipulation tactics: rage, guilt tripping or denial when confronted. it’s never any accountability, just micro-aggressions and gas-lighting, “i don’t know what you mean”, “that’s not what i meant”, “you’re just sensitive”. taking full advantage of every opportunity to take a dig at me, blasting every failure and shortcoming to anyone that has an ear to hear, being my constant reminder that i will never be better than them. i feel like i’m competing with her, with him. the not so innocent “jokes” they tell about me, and then blame my anger on my “poor” sense of humor. it can’ never be them, it’s always me. instead of telling me how he feels, he creates an uneasy atmosphere being passive aggressive. i live life afraid of upsetting them, the threat of disowning me is always on the table to teach me to cave & discourage free thinking. them being in my life means more than me being happy. and as much as it drains me, i still make that weekly phone call out of child guilt & obligation, and not a show of love & affection. i just don’t want to be the bad, ungrateful child they seem to see me as. i honestly feel depleted in every way after every interaction involving them. i feel i have to protect myself from them, mentally, emotionally, physically, and i shouldn’t have to…”

life has taught me a few things…
our parents are humans. they, too, have had ruinous experiences in their early years which has influenced who they are today. they are not after you. it isn’t even about you. they are caught up in reenacting their childhood through you. how they treat you has nothing to do with you.

none of this means you have to participate. you do not have to stick around. it is okay to walk away. it is okay to let go. you don’t have to be their punching bag while they face their demons.

if you choose to keep them in your life, don’t be hard on yourself. do not regret the love, empathy and compassion you have towards your parents. rejoice in remaining light in heavy situations. no one wants to give up on their parents. and if you happen to get hurt again, forgive yourself. make sure you forgive yourself. you did the best you could.
you cannot make people feel what they do not want to feel. their feelings are not your responsibility. if you can make them feel an emotion, it is because they already resonated with that frequency. if anyone argues that you are responsible for their feelings, or they are responsible for yours, they are crossing an emotional boundary. do not accept that. respectfully, assert yourself as an individual to place that boundary between you and them. you are your own being, and so are they.

for those who still live at home, recognize the cycle and its triggers. you can only stop what you understand. the goal is to mitigate the risk of negative interactions and protecting yourself, not to prove that you are right and they are wrong. this will only exhaust you, and feed them. more importantly, when i understood their triggers, it created that more much room for peace for myself, even if temporal.

before you invite them back into your story line, ask yourself questions like: “am i willing to sacrifice my own health and happiness for them?” “am i willing to sacrifice my relationship with my partner for them?” “am i willing to sacrifice my job, income or my finances for them?” “am i okay knowing that for the rest of my life they’ll call my job multiple times a day, or show up to my house at any time unannounced, refusing to acknowledge the boundaries i set in place?” “can i have a relationship with them for the rest of my life if i knew they would never change?” these questions are not meant to force you into making a decision, but to help you gain a full perspective before you do make a decision.

minimize all arguing, as this is a direct result of reacting. if you can, walk away. this isn’t for them, but for you. the moment you react this way you are now officially sucked back in the cycle, which was what they wanted. as a result, you will end up with your energy depleted, while they feed on your frustration. they may never change how they feel, and you might not ever change how you feel; accept that for the time being and disengage. you’ll need all the energy you have. this is about conserving until it’s time to fight the right battle. if you do decide to respond, remember to usher in love with it. you’re the alchemist. you can change the tone. respond. don’t react.

talk to someone. create a safe space. journal your encounters with your parents: how did you feel? could you have handled your interaction with them any better? talk to someone, whether it be friends, family or a counselor. you might not be able to change your environment but changing your perspective works just as well. conversations invite change, but if you spend the rest of your life with bottled-up unresolved issues, you will end up replaying your childhood through everyone, including yours kids. most importantly, create a safe space for yourself. whether physical or in your mind, know that you have a space you can run to that no one can penetrate without your permission.
your parent(s) may not cooperate and that’s completely fine. do not force them. it will be hard for them to accept that you are refusing be their target after so many years of blind appeasement. with time they might adjust, or they might not. once again, and i cannot stress this enough, you are not responsible for them. you can only do what is best for you. this is about you, your growth, and your boundaries. it is not about getting them to see their destructive ways. you are all you need. i hope this helps. i love you.

The Toronto Comic Arts Festival was great but also very dichotomous? Seeing the amazing work was inspiring; realizing how much even “successful” people are struggling was not.  Let me try to summarize the big things I took away from TCAF:

  1. Comics and Games are actually very good, and you can see that as soon as you create a space outside the influence of WB/Disney/AAA/&c 
  2. Comics and Games are queer as hell, see above. In fact, it feels like the field is incredibly diverse right now? 
  3. Most of the people creating the indie stuff you love have day/part time jobs, because patreon/ad revenue (ha ha ha) don’t pay enough 
  4. The web is increasingly hostile to small creators as FB, Twitter, Tumblr & Reddit design their systems to bury unsponsored content and bury or simply blacklist outright external links. These sites want everything to be sponsored, and hosted on THEIR servers. (Reminder: if you’re reblogging my articles, thank you for doing so because you are literally the only way my stuff is getting seen by anyone at this point. Tumblr blacklists external links now.)
  5. The fandom spaces that should be supporting this diverse work are actually a maelstrom of doxxing, identity policing, callouts, &c. 

So in summary, comics and games have a flood of diverse experimental creators who go unsupported by the market, government, or fans. I don’t know how to quite square how dire yet how inspiring/hopeful this is simultaneously. But that’s life in 2017 generally I guess.

Do you ever think that we took things a little backwards? I have a history of pouring a little too much out of my heart so I’m not really surprised by that. I know how my words can be sometimes, how my stitches aren’t always lined up. I flooded you with too much of me and then tried to calm things down–as I do with everyone–but you didn’t let me. You told me that you wanted all of those things, all of those thoughts, all of those feelings because that was it for you. You just completely admired the way I felt things, not carefully, but all at once. And then? Then when you told me that you loved me? I couldn’t possibly get enough of you.
—  🖤
The Season Finale/Bye, Boys

I know I’m late - I had to work all day yesterday and today, and when I first got those jobs I’d anticipated I’d be frustrated about missing the finale live, but, well - after last week’s episode, I mostly wasn’t interested at all. When I sat down tonight to watch it, I almost didn’t want to. I was highkey convinced I wouldn’t like it, and, yeah, I didn’t. Not particularly. I’ve suspected for a while that Supernatural lost its grandeur and sense of tragedy years ago, and all that’s left is a bunch of occasionally magnificent, but mostly unconnected, monster hunts - that they’re grasping at straws to avoid going down paths that would actually make sense because they don’t want to go there - and this finale confirmed all that with the subtlety of a badly driven tank. 

(Really - I was hoping things would be different, but they’re not. As much as this show held my hand and made me laugh and cry in difficult moments and distracted me when real life was plain unbearable, the magic is no longer there. I watched the finale with that same awful weight in your stomach you feel when faced with that one person you no longer love - when you look and look and you don’t understand how you could ever love them in the first place, and then your eye catches something - they way their mouth curves into a smile, perhaps, or the once beloved lilt in their voice, and you realize that oh, that’s how

But still, it’s over.)

So, what happens next?

The honest answer is, I don’t know. I’ve been mostly off tumblr for a week, and while I missed chatting and talking with you guys, this self-imposed break really brought home just how my world has shrunk. I tend to be very intense in what I like, and over the last year, 90% of my free time has been Supernatural. Writing stories, writing metas, creating the odd graphic, reblogging other people’s posts and ooohing and aaaawing at their creations and insight - that was great, but it also cut my mental landscape into a tiny little postcard. And this past week - I did things. I discovered new stuff, I read real books, I faffed around weird Wikipedia pages, I lost myself in other series, I planted beans and basil and edible flowers. And I liked it - a lot. So whatever I do next, I’ll be on tumblr a lot less, because - I’m sorry - I’ve been fearing for a while that Supernatural simply wasn’t worth this level of devotion, and this finale pretty much confirmed that. So - really - I’ll keep reblogging gifs and I’ll probably write the occasional headcanon and feel free to ask me things and come talk to me and everything else, but please know that I’m not that positive about this show anymore, so if you want rainbows and ponies, my blog’s probably not the best place to get them. I’ll definitely keep writing, and I hope I’ve got enough love left in me to finish my DCBB, but other than that - I think I’m done. It’s likely I’ll watch the show next year, but I’ll certainly not anticipate new episodes and squeal at the screen and bleed my own blood all over it or anything. And maybe this will hurt at some point - God, I loved this show so goddamn much - but for now I’m just numb. 

So, here goes - quite possibly, my last meta. 


Cas: Yes, They Went There

This is what we’re all wondering, isn’t it? Is Cas really dead? 

No, he isn’t. If Misha was leaving the show, we’d know about it. Like, of course they’d keep it under wraps until the last episode, but it’d be out today - no reason it wouldn’t. Plus, from a narrative point of view, Cas’ death doesn’t make any sense. He just died after fucking up - again - and he never got to make his Big Choice between Heaven and *coughs* humanity, plus they’re having so much fun jerking us around with that yeah so maybe he and Dean they’re in love thing, why would they stop now? So, honestly, his ‘death’ was his only good moment during this season finale. Like, he obviously wasn’t brainwashed brainwashed, so it didn’t make any sense he wouldn’t involve Sam and Dean in his overly simplistic scheme, plus he’s been acting stupid and out of character the whole time he was on screen - and, I get Cas is hard to write, but come on. Renting a cabin under the name James Novak when he can hypnotize it out of some guy without leaving a paper trace? Reading books and taking online classes about childbirth? This from a guy who’s not a guy at all and has instinctive knowledge of physics and whatever and knows perfectly well that thing inside Kelly isn’t a human child, anyway, so he might as well take woodworking classes for all the good that would do him? Uh. Not to mention his random snooping into alternate dimensions he knew nothing about when he was supposed to be taking care of Kelly - if AU!Bobby had killed him, or if he’d fallen into a pit or whatever else, Kelly would have remained alone in that cabin basically waiting for Lucifer to find her. Honestly - why do they bother writing Cas at all if they can’t get him right?

Destiel: Still Subtext

And more bad news: five seasons of queerbaiting - and counting. This season finale had to be the one with the least amount of UST or pining or any kind of fuckery between them since, I don’t know, ever? Sure, there were moments, and I could list them, but why should I? Look at Cas doing his own thing, and what does it matter if he was staring at the water (possibly thinking about that fish which started everything, and by everything I mean Cas’ love for humanity, and by humanity I mean Dean), and what does it matter if Dean, as usual, is the one fretting about Cas and worrying about Cas and being all undignified and unmanly? It’s been years, and Dean was unusually chatty during the whole finale, so I’m sure some of us were like, ALERT ALERT THIS IS WHEN IT HAPPENS (not me, because I’m grumpy and disillusioned), and nope, not the time. Better luck next season, guys.

Honestly, at this point there are no good options. 

Keep reading

3

requested by anon <3
prompt; 
Your pregnant with Pietros baby and it’s driving him mad since usually he speeds everything he does, so having to wait so long for everything you do drives him mad but he loves you despite it.
a/n; funnily enough i actually started a tumblr BECAUSE OF pietro imagines! we’re going full circle…

MASTERLIST KO-FI. WRITTING CHALLENGE!

It is annoying to say the least. Pietro always had a knack of speeding things up – mostly due to his powers – and live life to its fullest capacity, never missing out on anything. Needed to get the cheapest game tickets? Check. Waiting in line? Never. Racing? Did people really think they could beat him?

That all changed quite quickly, to be exact when you got pregnant. At first he couldn’t believe it: your arms were spread in an open hug as you held a huge grin on your face, wiggling your fingers like you were some sort of cartoonish version of yourself whilst he stared in disbelieve, shock, and in a complete mess of overwhelming emotions. Just when you thought he would not appreciate the announcement like you hoped, he broke into joyous laughter, squished you in his embrace and lifted you easily with a light spin.

Now…Now sure as hell is different. The passing carefree days are more than over. Despite loving you and the lil’guy in your belly more each day, it drives Pietro crazy – you are just so damn slow. Whether it’s taking a stroll down the city (something he never liked to begin with) or having ice cream – he’d finish in the time you’d finally take a seat on the stool next to him. The simplest things – like getting out of bed – also proved a hassle. He couldn’t just spring into action anymore. He got ready by the time you rolled out and slowly stalked to the bathroom, usually with disastrous bed hair, sleep dazed eyes and a quiet whisper of ‘Good morning’.

He smiles, watching you pick out some more baby clothes (to be completely honest you and he already had more than enough, but you couldn’t resist buying more and he didn’t have the heart to stop you). Seeing your eyes light up so brilliantly, sparkle almost, as a small undetected smile graces your lips as you hold the small robes in the light and admire them. The buzzing chatter of the mall seems to still, scents from a nearby perfume shop sneak into here. Maybe you noted him staring, since you turn and look up at him, “What? What is it? You’re being too quiet. I’m starting to worry.” Your voice holds no such indications, only a playful tone. Pietro shrugs.

“Just…” He rethinks his words. Enjoying the moment is what he wants to say, but instead, “Wondering whether to buy another closet or not.”

“Oh shut it, this is the last pair of jeans I swear.”

Requests are open!

priceless

the little things. the glint in your eye when you smile. the way you brighten the room when you walk in. it’s the little things that get me. the happiness I feel when I’m around you. the way you make my problems melt away for a split second when we’re together

the support. the way you reassure me that everything’s going to be alright when I feel like it’s all over. you give me a sense of purpose when I’m with you. I feel valued.

because everything you do is enough for me to fall in love all over again

One Less Mystery

So much in life
Is a mystery–
Endless enigmas,
Seeming senselessness.
But my senses are sure
When it comes to you.
I’m not puzzled to see
All our pieces
Fit perfectly.

My dear, it couldn’t be clearer,
My face in the mirror
Shows me:
Silly toothy grin;
My skin glowy,
Lit from within.
You make my cheeks hurt–
I haven’t stopped smiling
Since I knew…it’s you.
My heart cries out…to you.
It beats frantically…for you.
My mind can’t get off…of you.

I am deliriously happy
And you’re to blame,
But it’s okay, since you
Say I do the same
To you…so it looks
Like we’re even.
And even though
There’s still more to know
About each other,
I have no doubt that
The more I learn,
The more I’ll love.
As it is, I can’t get enough
Of you.

acoconutwithachance  asked:

Hi Isayama!!! It's my first time asking you or anyone on Tumblr since I get quite embarrassed, aside from the questions I hope you get enough sleep also how are you doing? Hope your doing good! For right now I only ask if you could tell me at least two things about both Petra and Mike, Thanks!

Hey there! I’m doing great, thank you! I hope you’re doing good as well :)

Petra is a very romantic person, who values being appreciated. She also had trouble believing in herself as a woman in the military at first.

Mike is a very playful person who loves to tease people, because he loves to make people smile and see them happy. Would be an amazing parent.