you destroy people you love

You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn’t love her. Because you don’t destroy people you love.
—  Grey’s Anatomy

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’
‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’
‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’
‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’
‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’
‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’
‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’
‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’
‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’
‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’
‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’
‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’
‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’
‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’
‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’
‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’
‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’
‘  i am fucking divine.  ’
‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’
‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’
‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’
‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’
‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’
‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’
‘  i bow to no man.  ’
‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’
‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’
‘  i cannot be saved.  ’
‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’
‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’
‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’
‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’
‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’
‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’
‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’
‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’
‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’
‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’
‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’
‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’
‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’
‘  i have no home anymore.  ’
‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’
‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’
‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’
‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’
‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’
‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’
‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’
‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’
‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’
‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’
‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’
‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’
‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’
‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’
‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’
‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’
‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’
‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’
‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’
‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’
‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’
‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’
‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’
‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’
‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’
‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’
‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’
‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’
‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’
‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’
‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’
‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’
‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’
‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’
‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’
‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’
‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’
‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’
‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’
‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’
‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’
‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’
‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’
‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’
‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’
‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’
‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’
‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’
‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’
‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’
‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’
‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’
‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn’t love her. Because you don’t destroy people you love.
—  Grey’s Anatomy

Dear parents of autistic children,

No, your child doesn’t do weird things “for no reason”. They do it for a reason, you just don’t know it yet. You have different brains, different perspectives, so sometimes things that are obvious to them are a mystery to you. But you don’t have to ignore it and blame it on them. You can make an effort, reach out to them and figure out the reason.

Do they scream in public when it looks like everything is okay? Well, there’s probably a reason for that. Maybe the situation is overwhelming to their senses, it’s too loud, to bright, to crowded, and they need some space and time to recover. Maybe they can’t stim because other people keep telling them it looks weird, so they end up exhausted much faster. Maybe you are breaking their routine by being outside at this time. Or maybe you are going through the supermarket “the wrong way”, not how you usually do it. Maybe they forgot their comfort object at home, and just realized that. Maybe they are in pain and can’t communicate that. Maybe they are very hungry and don’t realize that yet because it’s hard for them to recognize their needs and emotions. Maybe it’s a combination of those, or something different altogether.

Either way, they probably don’t do it “for no reason”. You just don’t see the reason. Make an effort to communicate. If they are verbal, ask them. If they can’t speak with their mouth at the moment or ever, use alternative methods of communication. If they can’t explain it, consult other autistic people, including autistic adults who probably have a bunch of ideas as to why your child does that weird thing. Don’t dismiss it, don’t complain about it, don’t blame your child for doing it. Try to see the world from their perspective. Respect their needs and feelings. Learn more about autism from other autistic people.

And life will be much better and easier for both you and your child.

  • Atsushi: Hey, I was wondering if you could help me out.
  • Akutagawa: Say no more. Here's a bunch of guns, explosives, knives-
  • Atsushi: Nope. Different thing.

1. It’s never too late to start over.

2. Do not become small for those who refuse to grow.

3. Click the send button. You typed it out for a reason.

4. Don’t forget to remind people how much they mean to you.

5. Don’t ruin something great because you think you don’t deserve it.

6. You don’t destroy the people you love.

7. Sometimes you have to keep on missing them until you wake up to find that you just don’t anymore.

8. Mental health comes before school, always.

9. Act like you trust people, but don’t.

10. There is nothing more beautiful than being desperate, and nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

11. Your first kiss will come when it’s time. It’s worth the wait.

12. Always remember how lucky you are to have yourself.

13. Nostalgia, whether you’re thinking of something good or bad, always leaves you a little emptier afterwards.

14. Feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what you look like.

15. Pour your heart into everything you do and watch every aspect of your life change one by one.

16. You’ll need other people and you’ll need to be that person for someone else, a living, screaming invitation to believe in better things.

17. Make yourself painfully aware of the characteristic and cookie-cutter personas you put on and others put on. Being the “cool girl” doesn’t mean smoking and letting guys walk all over you, and reading and writing doesn’t make you nerdy. Those associations have been taught by movies. Don’t feel like you need to fit into 1 persona.

18. Radiate confidence, even if it’s fake. One day it won’t be, and you’ll be untouchable.

19. One day you’ll realize I was the fresh air before your last breath.

20. Live in such a way that if anyone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.

21. Take a second and look around. Remember where you are, who you’re with. You’ll look back on this moment and see the little things ended up being the big things.

22. Respect is a minimum.

23. We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there, too.

24. Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.

25. You cannot change what you refuse to confront.

26. Nobody really knows what they want, not until it’s right in front of them.

27. Someone can be gone yet more present than anyone else.

28. You’ll never truly cherish the people in your life if you keep hoping for those that hurt you to come back to you.

29. Life doesn’t get better, you do.

30. Value yourself. The only people who appreciate doormats are people with dirty shoes.

31. If you don’t end up smiling while kissing someone, you’re probably kissing the wrong person.

—  emmuuhhhhh, 31 Things I Learned Coming Into 2016 Part 3

“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”

— Daniell Koepke

artwork by Chima Ezenwachi

You didn’t love her
You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she was just good for your ego,
Or she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her,
Because you don’t destroy people you love.
—  Grey’s anatomy
You were never really mine and I don’t think you ever wanted me to be yours but when you’re young and in love with an older boy who makes you feel special you don’t realise it until it’s too late, until your heart has been shattered and you’re the one who’s left picking up the pieces as he slams the door behind him, never once looking back.
—  you told me you loved me but you don’t destroy the people you love.

I was formed by war,
Molded by death,
Forged from impossible decisions,
And broken by the weight of it all

You were sculpted by chaos,
Chiseled by destruction,
Hardened by incomprehensible loss,
And destroyed by the people you love

I look at you after it is finished,
See that you are also in fragments,
Mere remnants of the person you once were,
And I find that all of your remaining pieces
Align perfectly with mine

—  Pieces, by @as-inevitable-as-morning
War is Love Part 2

I had a lot of love from the first part. Let me know if there should be a part 3 ;)

Harry watched you from perform from the sidelines, his hand absentmindedly running across his lips. He hated to see you here, only because he knew exactly how much pain he had caused you. It amazed him to even find you before him, singing your heart out and bringing a star struck fan up on stage to sing with you. He caught himself smiling at your love for them. It never failed, you always seemed to find the fan that knew all of your songs to bring them up on stage. 

You were always thinking of them and it was one of the many things he had fallen in love with you for. Another being able to get lost in your music or any for the matter. It was how you two were able to connect so easily. Both letting music bring you two closer. He watched as you twirled the fan around and linked arms with them, allowing them to sing the rest of the song while you took a selfie with them. 

Harry knew that once the song was over, you’d ask for their name and then upload it later. It was something you’ve always done from the first day you were given the stage. You were forever in debt to your fans and you made sure that you tried to give a little every time you performed. He shifted as you did exactly what he expected you to do. 

He wasn’t sure if you had seen him and if you had, you were doing a great job at ignoring him because had he been the one on stage, he wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes off of you. Harry froze as you turned just in time for that thought to ran across his mind. Your eyes glimmered over him for just a moment as you accepted the guitar a stage member handed you. 

 Turning your full attention back towards the crowd, you climbed up on the stool. “You guys have been wonderful,” strumming a few chords to get your fingers warm, you sighed, “I’m more than happy with you guys being my first crowd in over a year.” Looking down at your hands, you tried to settle your increased heart rate from finally acknowledging his presence. Taking a deep breath, you smiled and looked into the excited eyes of the crowd who cheered. “I’ve got a present for you beautiful, beautiful people.” Swaying a little against the wind that picked up, “This is a song that won’t be available for a few more weeks-” screams and cheers filled the outdoor stadium. You sucked in air, wincing at the ear piercing sounds bouncing around. Laughing, “It’s the first and only full song that I’ve recorded in a year so I hope you guys enjoy it. It hits close to home…" 

Harry swallowed hard, his jaw clenching as you began to sing. He knew your voice like the back of his hand. He mentored you into the sound it was and it killed him to hear the breaks you tried hard to prevent. You always had a habit of letting your voice break during the songs that you truly felt and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He couldn’t deny that your song sent chills down his body and it wasn’t just because of the words. You had kept your eyes closed the entire time, afraid that if you hadn’t, tears would be streaming down your face. This was the third time you had ever actually sang this song only because it hurt to much to sing it to yourself. 

"Here’s to the nights where I stood alone, to the nights I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. I was never ready for you to leave. It was the hardest thing I’ll ever do, walking away while still loving you. And that doesn’t mean I wanted too, but I saw it coming. But that’s what happens when you let someone in, they destroy everything that could have been.” Humming a few notes, you opened your eyes slightly, feeling the tears build up inside. “If they asked me if I loved him, I would I say I do because no one gives the people they don’t love the power to destroy you.” Humming again, you took a deep breath and finished out your strum, “I was never ready for you to leave." 

You could feel the tear slid down your cheek but it was a bit relieving. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder. Hopping down off the stool with the guitar in one hand, you waved and blew the crowd kisses. They chanted and screamed your name, and at the moment, you were sure that they had loved the song just as much as you wanted them to. "I love you! Keep this beautiful energy up with the others. Goodnight, San Diego!" 

 Harry felt tense all over, his body was like lead as he looked around him to see if anyone was looking for his reaction. The muscles in his face tightened and strained against each other as he ducked around the corner. His strides were long and quick as he reached his dressing room for the evening. Closing the door shut behind him, he knocked down the rack that held clothing options for the night. Harry knew what he had done to you was wrong and he regretted his drunken decision the moment in happened. It was as if all the alcohol had dissipated the second the flash went off and captured that moment for the rest of his life. He ran both hands through his hair. 

Harry was angry not because you had written a song about him but because it wasn’t rage filled or sassy in any way. He expected you to own him but instead you took the harder way out and expressed how you deeply felt about the situation. He would rather you have sang about how he sometimes failed to entertain in bed even though you both knew it would be a complete lie. Just something other than a song that reminded him just how much he fucked up. 

All he wanted was to hold you tight and whisper promises he would die trying to keep. Never would he look at another girl again, never would he let alcohol consume him and convince him to do things he shouldn’t do. He still loved you. Hell, he never stopped loving you. You were his everything and more. He had just fallen victim to a weak moment and he knew you would never forgive him for it and Harry wouldn’t want you to. But, damn, that song filled him with anger.  

Harry wanted you to hate him because if you did, the tour would be easier to manage than to know that you still loved him and he was the douchebag that broke your heart. 

 —————————————————————————– 

 Part three? Yay? Nay? 
 Spam me with reasons <3 ;)