you could say i was bored

Haruhi x Guest

This is the final work in the character x guest post series. - Admin 


Guest:  Hey Haruhi, may I sit here with you?

Haruhi:  *looks up in surprise* Oh, of course!  Sorry!  My books are all over the table, I’ve been studying for that test in Calculus.  Here, let me make some room for you.  

Originally posted by dailyohshc

Guest:  *grabbing textbook* Don’t worry about it, Haruhi.  Here, I could study with you if you wanted… 

Haruhi:  Oh no, I couldn’t possibly make you sit through something so boring!  Besides, I need a study break anyway. You know what they say about “all work and no play.”

Guest:  Wow!  You sure are good at keeping your life balanced!  I wish I were more like that.

Haruhi:  Well I think that the key to success is making the most of every situation.  And don’t worry, from what I see you’re well on your way to success.   

Originally posted by alltheanimus

anonymous asked:

I seriously saw someone say that "dark" books are evil, and of all the things a book could be (disturbing, IMMORAL) being boring is the least of its flaws - because "being bored is a choice". Do you have any Immoral™, Disturbing™ book recs? Because I think I need some now

LOL oh my GOD. 

uhm how abouuuut:

WINTER BE MY SHIELD by Jo Spurrier 
THE BEAST IS AN ANIMAL by Peternelle Van Arsdale 
A DARKLY BEATING HEART by Lindsay Smith 
WHEN I CAST YOUR SHADOW by Sarah Porter

5

“Are you saying your distracted by a girl” she glanced over the rim of glasses a seductive smile on her lips.

“Only pretty ones” he replied before he could stop the words from flying from his mouth. He glanced at the foosball table aware of her eyes upon him.

“Let’s go upstairs and dance” she suggested dropping her hands from the knobs.

“We haven’t finished the game” he protested.

“I’m bored” she leaned into him “I want to dance.” She abruptly turned and ran up the stairs before he could protest further.

He followed her up. She already had the music playing and was swaying her hips to the beat. He took a moment to appreciate the way her dress swirled around her hips and thighs.

“Come on join me” she invited.

Shaking his head he smirked “I’m enjoying the view.”

5

just imagine…
the moment Lance learns how to unlock his bayard  :’)

slightly older Lance with different guns like, Pistols? Long Sniper rifle? pow pow 
Lance would ACE bc he is a fantastic sharpshooter.

Some Quotes From my Art History Professor:
  • “Caravaggio was the BEST renaissance painter, because he knew his shit.  Literally.  Look at this painting, he’s painted shit on everything, even Saint Peter!”
  • “For those of you fortunate enough to Not grow up catholic, a baptism is where you mist a baby like an orchid to keep it from going to hell.”
  • “You get Extra Credit for you eerily comprehensive knowledge of Muppets.  Now stop talking.”
  • “GOD I love flying buttresses.  They’re so melodramatic!”
  • “I don’t call him “Da Vinci” because that means “From Vinci”.  That’s like calling Steve “Of Greeley” instead of his real name and that’s just rude.  And not just because Greeley is Awful.”
  • “Michelangelo was really depressed because his job sucked.  Also because he was a bit of a douche, but mostly the job.  He should have been doing literally anything else.”
  • “Everything can be improved with a Simpson’s reference!”
  • “Send me Memes, I like having recent content in my lectures.”
    *Next day* “Stop sending me memes. Please.”
  • *whilst angrily pointing at a picture of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles* “The Turtles have all their names mixed up for their personalities and frankly that’s embarrassing.  The techie should be Leo, the Flirt should be Raphael, The Boring Leader Dude should be Donatello and the angry one should be Carvaggio because that asshole literally spent his life drunk, fighting people and blackmailing cardinals.  Carvaggio was the BEST.”
  • “I could have studied in Rome. I could be trying to match boxes of broken dicks to statuary.  Instead of dicks I have you assholes.”
  • “Warhol was, as you young people say, A Troll.  The art is not the Art, the Outrage is the Art.  Which is kind of a Dick Move, which we old people say too.”
  • “Remember Kids- mental illness and heavy metal poisoning are not actually substitutes for Talent and Hard Work! Get therapy and don’t drink your paint water!”

Imagine a group of humans and aliens talking about their home worlds while in the ship’s canteen. One world is covered entirely by water (the crew members from there have to wear special masks to help them absorb the oxygen they need from the air); one is full of rare minerals and littered with what, on any other planet, would be precious stones and one is carpeted with dense vegetation and has the more biodiversity than any other planet.


Once they’ve all finished talking about their own planets, everybody turns to the humans and asks them what Earth is like. They’re only doing it to be polite though. They haven’t heard much about humans (except the usual stories, and only fledglings believe in those) and they can’t really believe that these fleshy bald looking things come from anywhere even remotely as interesting as their own planets.


There’s a pause and then one of the humans speaks up, “well, I come from a part of Earth called ‘England’ and, to be honest, it’s nothing like as cool as your planets sound. It’s alright though. We got some snow last year, so I’m hoping that we’ll have some this year as well when I get back.”


“Snow?” one of the water breathers asks, hissing slightly through their mask, “what’s that?”


“Frozen water that falls from the sky.” The human explains, “it’s really fun to play with. It’s only called snow when it’s soft though— when it’s hard it’s called hail. Nobody likes hail, you can’t do anything with it and it hurts if it hits you. I looked up during a hail storm once,” she adds, “when I was a kid. Huge hailstones and one hit me right in the eye! Hurt like Hell.”


“Is your planet really cold then?” one of the aliens asks, sounding doubtful since nothing has looked less equipped to deal with cold weather than a human.


“No,” she says, “not everywhere. England’s pretty cold, but in the Summer sometimes we get heatwaves. Last year I went out in one and forgot to wear suncream and got sunburn all down my arms.”


“Your planet’s sun… burned you?” a horrified creature asks, “was it painful?”


“Not really, just stung a bit,” she shrugs, “it was fine once the skin started to peel.” (At the back of the crowd that has now amassed around their table a voice says “I didn’t know humans moulted.” and another, horrified sounding voice replies “that’s because they don’t!”) the human continues on regardless. “It was really annoying actually, because it meant I couldn’t go out for a bit without wearing a jacket. Then when my burns had finally healed, I wanted to go to the beach, but when I got there there was this huge thunderstorm and I had to go home again.”


“Thunderstorm?” the word is whispered, mainly because the person asking secretly hopes the human won’t hear them so they won’t have to know.


“It’s when the clouds get all dark and it starts raining,” the human explains and everybody sighs with relief. Most planets have rain. “The clouds make these really loud banging noises,” she continues, “that’s the thunder, and electricity shoots down from the clouds— that’s called lightning. Sometimes people get hit by it, a few people even survive. I once—”


But one of her human friends cuts her off. “God,” he says, “you Brits are so boring, always talking about the weather!”


While she argues with him, the creatures seated around the table stare at them in astonishment and start to give a little more credit to those old stories. Because, though they look pretty harmless, a species would have to be tough to be able to survive on a planet where a person could be pelted with ice, burned by the sun and nearly electrocuted by the sky and then have another person describe those experiences as boring!

the princess stayed in the tower and read books about better girls, where their hands learned how to hold swords, where they rode in on horses. i gave her books as often as i could. she devoured them.

her princes saw her and pretended to be scared off by dragons. got too lost in the thicket. didn’t want to handle it.

“tell me what it’s like, out there,” she whispers to me for the millionth time. i take her from The Throne into her bed, tucking her in and making sure her feet are covered. 

“boring without you” i say as always, “but i did bring back a great story.”

i tell her about how the stars change beyond the equator. how there are places it looks like there are twin suns. how the desert crawls into you but so does snow. i talk about the taste of fruit and promise to bring her back some. she falls asleep while i murmur about rivers, and then in the morning i bring her from bed to Throne, even though she can do it on her own. sometimes she likes help, is all, and i’m happy to give it. 

she doesn’t want help getting dressed. the men come for me, blindfold masters i have almost befriended. the path we take away from her is always different, carefully manufactured so i don’t know exactly where she’s located. after all, a lady might get ideas about things.

they let me go in the queen’s room. i report findings, ask for fruit in the next week’s supplies, am told not to spoil the princess, that she must be kind and waifish and wanting when the prince comes. i spend an hour suggesting that fruit might turn the blood sweeter and am allowed six oranges.

in the next week, she marvels over them. turns them in her calloused hands. smells them. holds them until she can’t control her curiosity, devours them. i bring her books about rivers. i bring her books about deserts. 

“when is our birthday?” she asks me tonight. i’m knitting her a scarf for it.

“soon,” i tell her, “i’ll come by.”

she rolls onto one side, looks up at me in the dimming light. “I’m glad they chose you to be mine,” she says, and i drop a stitch. my heart sings against the inside of my wrists. i blow out a candle so she can’t see the blush and i can’t see her lips. i know what she means, i say. i know what she means.

it’s twenty-three for both of us. i bring her a cake we both eat, her on her throne and me on the floor. i am in the middle of laughing when she falls silent in the still night. “nobody else ever comes for me,” she whispers. i say nothing.

we have more cake, we go to sleep. i don’t know if she knows i’m awake, but i hear her crying.

the men come, the men take me. the one that smells like cedar always laughs at my jokes. the queen half-hates me because i remind her of “that nasty thing” they forced on their daughter. 

“the left wheel needs oil,” i mention, “she’s having trouble turning again.”

the queen’s nose goes up. she never reacts when i mention her daughter’s wheelchair by name - doesn’t find it funny we call it a throne, thinks it’s well enough to leave alone.

“well, she’ll have a prince in this next month coming for her,” says the queen, “i’ve arranged it all,” says the queen, “he’s … had the situation explained to him first this time. i thought it would be best,” says the queen. “we’re paying him…. quite a lot for his effort,” says the queen.

situation. she means that her daughter can’t walk very far. she means the situation of towers. i excuse myself. i find my girl books about turning down marriage. i’m not sure why. it’s all she’s ever wanted.

they blindfold me and take me. cedar laughs at my jokes. the sawdust one is here this time, even he chuckles at a few. we ride horses through places i’ll never see clearly. 

“so according to the queen this is the last time i’m needed, huh?” i ask them as they walk me blindly up too many stairs for my girl to make it down, “i’m sorry i never made your acquaintance.”

cedar laughs. he takes off my blindfold and for a second, lets me see his face. “it’s been an honor,” he says, shaking my hand, “you’ve been a perfect lady.”

i spend the day with my princess pretending i am not peeling apart from my bones. i just want her to be happy. to get to come home. 

it’s late. “do you think in a past life i was a mermaid?” she asks.

“almost definitely,” i tell her. 

it’s quiet for a while after. “what if,” she whispers, “i don’t want to leave?”

i sit up and look at her from across the room. 

“it’s just,” she says, “i have you here and all the books i need and nobody makes me walk too long and i don’t feel like… like i’m wrong here.”

i want to tell her she’s never been wrong. that she’s always fit into my heart like a puzzle piece. that, more importantly, the leadership i see in her glows like a fire - that, no matter her body, she’s always been kind and gentle and smart and sweet. a princess that could bring a nation to her feet and do so lovingly.

“it will be okay,” i say, “there’s more fruit to discover.”

she doesn’t say anything. i think i’ve ruined something by accident, but i don’t know what. i don’t really sleep. i don’t say anything when the men come take me.

the world outside without her is boring. no mermaids. i put my hand in a river once a day, just thinking about her. 

two weeks later i am awoken by my name, and a voice i recognize perfectly. cedar stands above me in the darkness. “i know two things in this world,” he says to me, “and one of them is about love.”

this time we make the trip without blindfolds. i see the squalor they keep her in. i see the waste surrounding her castle, the terrible place she’s in. rage fuels my footsteps even when they start flagging. 

the prince is already there. he has dropped her twice, cedar tells me. i am already running up the stairs even though i can barely breathe. i hear her crying through the door and i don’t need to get ready - the fire that starts in me burns so brightly.

i roar inside. turn dragon and beat back prince with girl made rage. the bruises on her body turn me into giant snake. i eat the man alive, or at least i chase him from the place, never to be seen again. later i will hear a rumor about a demon that stole the princess from him.

she cries into my arms. i take her down every single stair. i hear her murmur her thanks into my hair and then i kiss her, because i can’t handle it, because i have places to show her and she has my heart to lead.

my house isn’t much but it’s near a river. she likes putting her hands into it. i take her places when she is able, and otherwise i bring the places back. we read books together. cedar no longer works for the queen, but he’d rather live with the man of sawdust making tiny wooden figurines.

i lie in bed next to her, stroking her soft hair. “do you think i was a centaur in a past life?” she asks.

“definitely,” i tell her, and kiss her, gently. she holds my face and pulls herself closer to me.

“will i be a good queen? i mean, in this life?”

“i’m certain of it,” i reply. i can hear the truth ring in it. the bone-deep certainty.

she’s quiet for a moment. “you saved me,” she whispers, “and usually we’d end up married. but…”

i don’t know how to answer that. i feel ice down my spine suddenly.

“i’m not demanding, is all,” her voice shakes, “i’m asking this time. for you to choose me. for me to be yours, i mean. and for you to be mine. permanently.”

the next birthday we celebrate, we are both queens.

The Health Care Freedom Act: A Transcript

INT. SENATE FLOOR - NIGHT

SEN. MCCONNELL addresses the august body.

SEN. MCCONNELL
Okay, idiots. We’ve had seven years of the Obamacare hellscape, which, as everyone agrees, has ruined our country, killed jobs, slaughtered animals, and set the Bible on fire. But now the GOP is in charge – and it’s time for this national nightmare of “sick people being able to maybe not die or go bankrupt” to end.

SEN. SCHUMER
Okay, you’ve been talking about a replacement bill for eight years. Let’s see what you got.

SEN. CORNYN
Whoa whoa whoa – you’re being a little “pushy” there, Chuck.

SEN. SCHUMER
That’s usually code for “Jewish.”

SEN. CORNYN
Nobody said “Jewish.” I said “pushy.” You’re being pushy, is what I said. Don’t put words in my mouth. Anyway: read it and weep: the American Freedom Bald Eagle Old Glory Healthcare for Everyone with No Exceptions “It’s Gonna Be So Easy” Act.

SEN. WARREN
…Where is it? We haven’t seen it yet. Can we see it?

SEN. MCCONNELL
No.

SEN. JOHNSON
A little history for you: when the Democrats wrote “Obummercare” –

SEN. MCCONNELL
(chuckles)
Nice.

They high-five.

SEN. JOHNSON
– they did it in secret, in scarcely 16 months, behind closed doors, with not even 100 Republican amendments, and barely 70 public hearings.

SEN. MCCONNELL
Like you can craft anything good in 16 months!

SEN. CORNYN
In contrast to that undemocratic process, we, the GOP, spent literally dozens of minutes crafting this, over chicken caesar wraps and Arnold Palmers, earlier today in the senate dining room.

SEN. MCCONNELL
Enough talking. We’ve been discussing this bill for almost eight minutes. Time to vote.

SEN. WARREN
Can we see the bill?

SEN. MCCONNELL
No.

SEN. SCHUMER
Can we offer amendments?

SEN. MCCONNELL
No.

SEN. WYDEN
Can we have public hearings?

SEN. MCCONNELL
No. Go back to Oregon, you dirty hippie.

SEN. COLLINS
I’m voting no, Mitch. This bill is terrible.

SEN. MURKOWSKI
I’m voting no too. It’s an abomination.

SEN. MCCONNELL
(shakes his head sadly)
Broads. Look, I know the bill is miserable. It would crash the insurance markets immediately. But who cares? This is just symbolic. This bill isn’t going to be a law. We’re just doing it to initiate a conference with the House, so we can actually pass a real bill later.

SEN. JOHNSON
I just got a text from Paul Ryan. The House might just pass this bill.

SEN. MCCONNELL
They might pass it?! Why the hell would they pass this bill we are about to pass?!

SEN. GRAHAM
(fanning himself)
This bill is abhorrent. It’s absurd, I say. I shudder to think what would happen if it became an actual law!

SEN. SCHUMER
So how will you vote?

SEN. GRAHAM
Oh I’m voting “yes.”

SEN. CAPITO
This bill would devastate the people of West Virginia!

SEN. PORTMAN
It would ruin lives! My own governor hates it!

SEN. SCHUMER
You’re both voting for it, though, right?

SEN. PORTMAN
Oh yeah.

SEN. CAPITO
No question. Voting “yes.”

SEN. HARRIS
Can we read the bill now?

SEN. MCCONNELL
No. Any word from Ryan?

SEN. CRUZ
I’ve been texting him a lot. No word. Oh – hang on, he’s writing back…I see the little bubbles.

SEN. MCCONNELL
What’d he say?

SEN. CRUZ
“New phone, who dis?” Guess I have the wrong number.

SEN. MCCONNELL
No, that’s his number. It’s just: nobody likes you.

SEN. JOHNSON
Ryan just texted me. I asked him if he could guarantee the House wouldn’t just pass our bill.

SEN. MCCONNELL
What’d he say?

SEN. JOHNSON
(reading)
“Look, this is complicated. This stuff gets a little wonky – I don’t want to bore you with the nerdy, wonky details. I’m kind of a policy geek, so I kind of get down in there with the nitty-gritty stuff, that other people are bored by, because they’re not policy geeks like me.”

SEN. MCCONNELL
…He didn’t answer your question.

SEN. CRUZ
(checking Johnson’s phone)
Let me see what number you have for him…yeah, that’s the same number I have. Weird.

SEN. MCCONNELL
It’s not weird. No one likes you.

SEN. GRAHAM
(lying on fainting couch)
My fellow members of this most august body, don’t you see we are headed for a disaster? This bill cannot pass! It would upend generations of Senatorial norms and procedure, and devastate the very fabric of American society!

SEN. SCHUMER
Still voting for it, though?

SEN. GRAHAM
Oh yeah, still a solid “yes.”

SEN. MURKOWSKI
I’m still a “no,” by the way.

SEN. COLLINS
Me too.

SEN. MCCONNELL
No one cares, ladies. Go get your hair blown out or whatever.

SEN. HARRIS
Can we read the bill now?

SEN. MCCONNELL
(angry)
No! Why are there all these women haranguing me?! How many goddamned women are in the Senate now, 95?!

SEN. WARREN
Twenty.

SEN. MCCONNELL
Seems like 95. Look: no one gets to read the bill. It’s not a real bill! It’s not supposed to become a law!

SEN. JOHNSON
What if the House just passes it?

SEN. MCCONNELL
Call that little pissant Paul Ryan and tell him they better not!

SEN. JOHNSON
(dials)
Paul? It’s Ron Johnson. You better not pass this bill that we are about to pass, because we don’t want it to pass, even though we are gonna pass it!

SEN. MCCONNELL
What’d he say?

SEN. JOHNSON
He said the process of passing bills is wonky, and it’s hard to explain, and he’ll try not to bore me with the wonky details.

SEN. CRUZ
Let me talk to him.
(takes phone)
Paul? It’s Ted. Listen, bud –
(beat)
Oh, sorry. Okay.
(hangs up)
It was the wrong number.

SEN. MCCONNELL
We were already talking to him, moron.

SEN. PORTMAN
No one likes you.

SEN. WARREN
Can we read the bill?

SEN. MCCONNELL
No. No more women talking. Time to vote. It’s a fake bill, and if the House passes it and all hell breaks loose, we can just blame Hillary or something.
(calling out)
Who wants to pass a fake disastrous bill that, if it became law, would cause the insurance markets to collapse, and 18 million people to immediately lose health care, but who gives a crap, because it’d be the House’s fault and no one pays attention to this stuff anyway?

49 REPUBLICANS
Yay!

48 DEMOCRATS
Nay!

SENS. MURKOWSKI AND COLLINS
Nay.

SEN. MCCONNELL
(aside)
Must be that time of the month.

SEN. CRUZ
Nice!

Cruz goes to high-five McConnell, who ignores him.

SEN. MCCONNELL
Okay, one more vote. John?

SEN. MCCAIN
I vote no.

Everyone loses their minds.

AMERICAN MEDIA
MCCAIN VOTED NO! MAVERICK! ONCE AGAIN HE DEFIES THE PARTY! HERO! NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS!

SEN. MURKOWSKI
…I voted “no” as well.

SEN. COLLINS
Yeah, Lisa and I are also Republicans who defied–

AMERICAN MEDIA
WE REPEAT: THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED! LITERALLY ONLY JOHN MCCAIN WOULD EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! PLUS HE HAS CANCER – AND HE STILL CAME HERE AND VOTED!

SEN. HIRONO
I have Stage 4 kidney cancer, and I voted –

AMERICAN MEDIA
JOHN MCCAIN JUST DID SOMETHING THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER MAN IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA WOULD EVER DO EVER!

SEN. CRUZ
Bummer, huh guys? Anyone want to come over to my place, get some wings, watch a little “Life of Brian?” No? Rain check, then.

Flourish. Exeunt. Curtain.

So I downloaded that “are you guys fucking right in front of my salad?” porno to see what the context of that situation could possibly be and OH BOY what a thrilling story

The bear (Jaxton Wheeler) hires a twunk (Jake Porter) to cook dinner to surprise his wife but apparently didn’t read the ad because twunk is a NAKED chef and only cooks NAKED. So he starts stripping off to prepare the surprise dinner to bear’s surprise, who asks him to put his clothes back on but as he’s pulling his pants back up bear reaches down and starts groping his ass!

“You know what? You can keep the clothes off.” 

Twunk strips back down again and puts on an apron as bear continues to stare at his bare ass. Twunk must have a bad understanding of what the word “chef” means because the dinner he starts to prepare consists of a container of prepackaged salad leaves and a chopped up cucumber (featuring lots of lingering camera shots of said cucumber). As he’s starting to cut up a bell pepper, bear comes up behind him and starts spooning him. 

“Working hard, huh?” 
“Kind of. Hungry?” 
“You could say I’m working up an appetite.”

Bear starts kissing the back of twunk’s neck and grabbing at his ass.

“I see you brought some extra groceries!”

They start making out and regular old boring vanilla men.com gay porn ensues until suddenly…

PLOT TWIST!

2/3 of the way into the video, bear’s WIFE comes home while they’re fucking doggy style over the kitchen counter but doesn’t seem to notice what’s happening.

“Hey babe! What’s going on in here?”
“Oh well I got you a surprise today, I hired a chef to come by and make you this wonderful salad!”

Wife is very excited about her salad and doesn’t seem to notice the moaning or facial expressions twunk is making while bear is plowing him from behind. Wife takes a bite of salad before noticing twunk is only wearing an apron, bear tries to make excuses.

“…you don’t have a shirt on.”
“It’s really hot in here hon.”
“Wait a minute do you have pants on? Are you guys fucking? Are you serious? Right in front of my salad? You guys are fucking gross!”

Wife gets up and storms out of the house.

“Ma’am… the… salad…”
“She’s not gonna be finishing it.”
“She’s not coming back?”
“No, so you might as well just bend down for me, let me finish that ass.”

They get right back fucking, twunk cums, bear cums.

“Why don’t you clean up instead of making dessert.”
“Okay.”

Fade to black, no mention of the salad or the wife or the ruined marriage.

He’s so fucking funny. Like literally everything he says is entertaining, without him having to try too hard, being funny just comes naturally to him. I think around him you’d never be bored. You could be talking shit all day, about everything and nothing, and it would all be okay and you would just… have so much fun?!

→ through the flames (and into the lava)

Originally posted by kookielife

pairing → Jungkook x Reader

genre smut, fluff, slight humor, crack || dragon!jk, fantasy!au i guess

☆ warnings  public indecency, dry humping, fingering, non-penetrative sex, cumplay, i’m sorry

☆ word count  → 7.8k

Your boyfriend is a dragon.

Or so he claims.

or; the perks (and unexpected complications) of dating a fucking dragon

Keep reading

How to Write Successful Dialogue

@albino-troll-ninja asked:

Got any feedback/advice/links for someone who wants to make lengthy, relatively action-less dialogues between characters more than just “‘Loren ipsum,’ he said.” “'Ipsum lorem’, she replied.” for forty paragraphs?

No problem!  I love dialogue, so I’m happy to be of assistance in this department.  

Here are my personal rules of thumb:

1.  Allow the dialogue to show the character’s personality.

If you really think about your conversations, it can be telling exactly how much of someone’s personality can shine through when they speak.  

Allow your character’s persona, values, and disposition to spill over when they speak, and it will make for a significantly more interesting read for you and your reader. 

For example:  let’s take a look at a mundane exchange, and see how it can be spruced up by injecting it with a good dose of personality.

Exhibit A)

“How was your day, by the way?”  asked Oscar, pouring himself a drink.

“Not too bad,” replied Byron.  “Cloudy, but warm.  Not too many people.”

“That’s nice.”   

Exhibit B) 

“How was your day, by the way?” asked Oscar, pouring himself a drink. 

“Ugh.  Not too bad,” groaned Byron, draping himself on the couch.  “Warm, but dreary.  Gray clouds as far as the eye could see.  Not anyone worth mentioning out this time of year.”  A pause.  “Well, except me, of course.”

“Hmmph,” said Oscar, glancing over his shoulder.  “If it were me, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Isn’t that better?  Already, the audience will feel as though they’ve gotten to know these characters. 

This works for longer dialogue, too:  allow the character’s personal beliefs, life philosophy, and generally disposition to dictate how they talk, and your readers will thank you.

Of course, this example is also good for giving the reader a general sense of what the characters’ relationship is like.  Which brings me to my next point:

2.  Allow the dialogue to show the character’s relationship. 

Everyone is a slightly different person depending on who they’re around.  Dynamic is an important thing to master, and when you nail it between two characters, sparks can fly.

Work out which character assumes more of the Straight Man role, and which is quicker to go for lowbrow humor.  Think of who’s the more analytical of the two and who’s the more impulse driven.  Who would be the “bad cop” if the situation called for it.  

Then, allow for this to show in your dialogue, and it will immediately become infinitely more entertaining.

Example:  

“Alright,” said Fogg, examining the map before him.  “Thus far, we’ve worked out how we’re going to get in through the ventilation system, and meet up in the office above the volt.  Then, we’re cleared to start drilling.”

Passepartout grinned.  “That’s what she said.” 

“Oh, for the love of God – REALLY, Jean.  Really!?  We are PLANNING a goddamn bank robbery!”

Some more questions about dynamic to ask yourself before writing dialogue: 

  • Who is more likely to talk and who is more likely to listen? 
  • Who would talk with their mouth full of food and who would politely wait to swallow?
  • Is their relationship fraternal/sororal?  If so, who would be the “little sibling?”
  • Is one of them a bit of a mother/father figure to the other? 
  • Who more frequently gets irritated with who?
  • Who has the more understated sense of humor?  Who’s a bit more juvenile?
  • Who’s better educated?  Does it show when they speak?
  • Who’s a bit more pretentious/full of themselves?
  • Who interrupts more?
  • Who swears more?

This can also be a valuable tool to cluing your reader in on who the characters are as people: 

3.  Think about what this dialogue can tell the reader.

It’s better to fill the reader in more gradually than to waist your valuable first chapter on needless exposition, and dialogue is a great way to do it.  

Think about what your characters are saying, and think about ways in which you can “sneak in” details about their past, their families, and where they came from into the discussion.  

For example, you could say:

Tuckerfield was a happy-go-lucky Southern guy with domineering parents,

and bore everyone to death.  

Or you could have him say: 

“Sheesh.  All this sneakin’ around in the woods late at night reminds me of being back in Kansas.  Good times, man, good times.”  There was a pause, before he added,  “‘Course, it wasn’t nearly so fun when I came home late for curfew and had to sleep on the front step, but y’know.  Life happens.”

Isn’t that much better than the omnipresent monotone?

Dialogue is also a great way to fill in potential plot holes early on, by having your characters talk them out and explain them. 

Moreover, dialogue can also be used to foreshadow, offer relevant hints about the climax, or provide information necessary for the resolution.  

So use it wisely!  

4.  Sprinkle in mini-actions throughout. 

Even in actionless dialogue, no one actually does nothing.  In my case, for example, I stim a lot.  I play with my hair.  I play with eating utensils.  It’s probably very annoying for those around me, but you get the point.

Less fidget-y folks might not do this as much, but they rarely sit totally still during conversations, either.  So occasionally add in these mini-actions, and it will make your characters feel a bit less like disembodied voices or floating heads.

For instance:  

Jo leaned back in her chair rolling her stiff neck from sitting still for so long.  “…So the way I see it,” she continued.  “Even if Pheris Beuller’s Day Off didn’t take place in Cameron’s imagination, Pheris was clearly a sociopath whose behavior shouldn’t be glamorized.”

“Ha.  As if.”  Avery paused to sip her root beer.  “Pheris,” she began, raising an index finger.  “Was clearly emblematic of counterculturist movements such as the Beat Generation, and his disregard for the capitalistic dogmas imposed upon younger generations is something to be admired.” 

“For Christ’s sake, will you two lighten up?”  scoffed Leo, counting out bills for the pizza.  “We were talking about which movie we wanted to watch tonight.  Jesus.”

5.  Remember how people actually speak.

In real life conversations, people don’t speak in paragraphs.  Alright, some people might, and this can actually be interesting as the personality aspect of a certain type of character.  

But generally speaking, people don’t speak in paragraphs, or as though they’re writing thought-out prose or letters.

In real conversations, people stutter.  They laugh at their own jokes, repeat words or phrases, and lose their train of thought.

Naturally, you don’t have to illustrate in your writing exactly how chaotic and mundane human speech can be, as writing would be pretty boring in general if it was strictly limited to miming reality.  But it’s good to keep in mind that your characters are talking, not writing in purple prose.

Exhibit A: 

“When I was a young boy, my mother and I had a most tumultuous relationship,” said Marcus.  “She saw me as a hallmark of her past failures, and took every opportunity to remind me as such.”     

Exhibit B:

“My mom, when I was kid, we had what you’d call a sort of tumultuous relationship,” said Marcus.  “Nothing I ever did was right for her.  She, uh – I think she saw me as sort of a hallmark of her past failures.  Took every opportunity to remind me of that.”    

Which of these is more organic, more easy to visualize, and more telling of character?  Unless the point of this dialogue is to illustrate that Marcus is a gentleman crook of some kind with pristine speaking mannerisms, I’m going to say the latter. 


Best of luck, I hope this helps, and happy writing!  <3

High School In Review (so far)+ Some Tips!!!

Hello everyone! I’m Niva and I am a student of the High School class of 2019.

Now I’ve been in high school for 2 years now, so I think that can give some pretty solid advice to ya little upcoming freshman and any person who is still struggling in high school. So buckle up ya seat belts and put on some shades, cause we’re about to take a LONG ride

I know there are tons of freshman advice videos and posts out here on tumblr dot com, so I’m gonna try and make mine unique

*Note: My HS experience is unique; your may not need any of these tips, so who knows. Also, this post contains profanity. I don’t know if y’all care, it just seems that the studyblr community are all these sweet angels who attend church every Sunday and read the Bible in their spare time.

~=+=~FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORE YEAR~=+=~

my freshman overview: Look, this year was hardest compared to my sophomore year. One class literally ruined my life, my dudes. {humble brag} Throughout my entire life from PreK to 8th Grade, I had gotten straight A’s on all my report cards. My freshman year, I decided to take AP World History and BOY did it crush me. I made a C in the class first semester and a B in the second semester. Now, it was not the teacher at fault. In fact, I LOVED the teacher. I just was not interested in that class at all and the work matched with me being in Marching Band nearly sent me to my death bed. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just being 100% legit. This is also a PSA to all freshman offered to take APWH: This is one of the harder AP courses, and I wish one of my teachers had told me this before I decided to take the class (they probably did and I ignored them). This also was my first year in marching band and I’m telling you right now, if you’re wondering whether or not you should do marching band, do it. Even if you just do it for one year, it’s fuckin worth it mate. 

my sophomore overview: This year was SIGNIFICANTLY easier. During my freshman year, the way the schedule was set up was an A/B schedule; your schedule would alternate. On A days, you’d have these 4 classes and on B day, another 4. My sophomore year, they changed that and it was a bit easier for me. Not that I didn’t like the A/B schedule (I loved it), it was just a lot easier to manage classes. I only had one AP class this year, because I couldn’t take AP Lang because of schedule conflicts. ANTYWAYS, AP Gov is one of the easiest classes I took. My teacher was extremely chill and put a curve on every test and quiz, so that’s mainly why I didn’t fail. Marching band was much easier to handle since I already had experience. This was also the year I quit TSA (technology student association) and VEX Robotics, due to scheduling conflicts with band. And, to be quite honest, neither of the clubs were fun lmao. Literature class was annoying, because I got stuck in a class that DIDNT WANNA DO ANYTHING. They didn’t wanna read along, read at all, do projects, breathe, etc. (if you need tips on how to handle a trash class, just ask and I might make a post on that lol). Chemistry was purgatory, not hell, just purgatory. It was hard but not too hard that I didn’t pass. Math has never been hard for me so nothing really changed with that class. This year I brought back my streak of All A’s, so this school year was the best of the two in my eyes.

~=+=~The TIPS~=+=~

1. Normally, freshman don’t take AP classes, but if you are, be prepared. Depending on the class subject, you’re gonna have to do a hell of a lot more than just read the chapters once and do one page of notes. Try to always be ahead of the class and start some sort of study group. 

2. You’re best friend does not need to be your project partner all of the time. Seriously. If you have friends like mine, you will sit on your phone looking at memes on twitter for a long ass time before you ever start your project. Try doing a solo project every once in a while.

3. Don’t randomly join clubs. I was offered to join BETA Club and I didn’t wanna do it, so I didn’t. Don’t do clubs cause it looks nice cause 90% of the time, that one club won’t affect anything.

4. Save money. If you’re in marching band, dear god, save your money. School might as well be charging you to breathe. Everything cost SO MUCH MONEY. If you need to, set up a secret money jar so your parents don’t hijack your money.

5. Make new friends. Unlike most people apparently, I didn’t lose any friends. I do talk to certain people less because of class schedules, but we’re still friends. There is a small ass chance you’re gonna get caught in a class full of upperclassmen and no friends, and I had that situation. It’s not fun. Eventually, you’ll make a friend in that class, so don’t panic. But, anyways, new school, why not make new friends?

6. Don’t? Switch? Lunch? Tables? Okay, I don’t mean that someone’s gonna like sucker punch you out of your seat like in the movies. I mean like if we’re 5 months into the school year, don’t just randomly change your table, because …just don’t do it.

7. Don’t be that person who purposely gets on the teacher’s nerves to make class harder.

8. If you hate one of your teachers, suck it up buttercup. You have a choice of passing or failing, don’t let a teacher ruin an A in class for you.

9. Try and be on the other side of drama. It’s much more fun to watch drama go down, that to actually be involved in it.

10. Be early (if you can). I ride the bus, so I have no choice. But, there is legit no reasons for you to be walking into the class 10 minutes late, because you thought you could sleep an extra 5 mins.

11. I know your literature class is getting boring. This is probably your 7th consecutive year of learning the difference between a simile and a metaphor. I don’t know why they continue to reteach that stuff, but they do. All I can say is utilize what their teaching in some way, so that you don’t feel like the class is completely useless.

12. We all have that one class that you just do nothing in. Take advantage of that and get work done. I don’t have a “study hall” class so, any time you have to do work, use it.

13. Go to at least some of the school events. You can get relatively free food. 

14. Look, I could not care less if you skip school. But, don’t do it often and if you can, don’t do it ever. 

15. If you’re gonna eat in class, don’t eat something obvious like Lays Chips or a whole orange

16. Make friends with your teacher. Don’t be like creepy, but like, don’t have a bad relationship with your teacher.

17. Sophomore year, start thinking about college. You may think it’s too early, but it’s not. At least have an idea of what you want to major in.

18. If you can, get your permit as soon as you turn 15. Please don’t be like me. I still cannot drive and getting from Point A to Point B is harder than the VESPR Theory.

19. Disrespectful classmates are just an opportunity for you to get special privileges in class. If you’re class is disruptive and you’re just a sweet little angel, the teacher will most likely be more lenient with you. My teacher literally gave me a 100 on a project I turned in a day late (supposed to be 5 points off) because literally me and this other girl were the only ones who turned the project in.

20. Do your homework the day you get it. I don’t give a damn if it’s due in two days or two months, do it right then and right there.

21. In your language class, please try. Nobody likes the kid who doesn’t participate. If the teacher asks,  ¿Como estas?, you better fuckin say ¿Bien, y tu? back.

22. If you’re in a situation like mine, you’re gonna have a class you didn’t sign up for, yet somehow you got it. Just deal with it. If you can’t change your schedule, that’s all you can do. Just do the assignments and hope you pass.

23. Okay, most schools don’t have a “popular” group. But all schools definitely have the Prep group. You know, those kids. If you’re not one of them, just ignore them. If you are one of them, stop being so goddang stuck up and realise that you have an annoying voice. If you are not sure if you are a prep, you most likely are not.

24. My school doesn’t use lockers purely based on the fact that it would take too long for kids to get to them and back to class since my school is so big. So, if you also do not have lockers, make sure your bookbag can handle one full school year. I cannot stress this enough. You don’t wanna walk around school with a 15lb bookbag and only one functional strap.

25. Eat the school food. It’s honestly not as bad as the internet makes it. Like…eat ya pizza and enjoy it.

26. If your single and you want a relationship, please do not get a crush on random people like me. Someone would let me borrow a pencil and I would fantasize about a wedding for the next 2 days. I know it’s hard being lonely, but being in a relationship won’t get you a college scholarship.

27. Don’t drink a lot during school. There’s gonna be a teacher with a restriction on the bathroom because for some reason, they think bladders have a specific schedule to follow.

28. Don’t be that freshman that dates every senior in sight. If you have a relationship with a senior and it lasts, great. I’ve seen it happen, but 90% of the time it does not. 

29. Likewise, if you have a friend that’s running you up the wall with their problems, specifically relationship problems. Find a way to distance yourself from them, or even better, get them help from someone else.

30. If you have Type 4 hair (or type 3, it depends), you gotta do your hair at least 3 days in advance, especially if your hair is short. I don’t know a single person with kinky hair who can wake up and just simply throw their hair up.

31. Look, man. Just look here. Look at me in my eyes and listen. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU ARE GONNA HAVE SEX USE A CONDOM! USE A CONDOM OR DONT HAVE SEX AT ALL. I’m not speaking from personal experience, but I many of girls have gotten pregnant at my school

32. If you’re gonna do drugs, don’t. Don’t be stupid. Especially if you’re in a school club or sport. You are subject to random drug tests at all times. 

33. Try not to let people affect the way you dress. Wear what you want.

34. Something about you is gonna change. Your personality, your look, your aesthetic. Whatever changes, don’t be stuck up. Nobody likes stuck up people; not even stuck up people like stuck up people.

35. You know those posts that are like “Grades don’t determine intelligence?” Yeah, well they don’t determine your intelligence, but they can determine where you get into college (if you wanna go) and how you’re seen and perceived by teachers. At least, try to pass.

36. If you can, take the ACT or SAT or whatever standardized test you have for your schools. I had an opportunity to take the SAT in 4th, 7th, and 8th grade for $35…and I didn’t take it once. I heavily regret it. Mainly I didn’t take it, because, at the time, it was hard for my mother to pay for it when we had much bigger problems, but like, if you have the opportunity and the funds to take those tests, take them.

37. Don’t rely on quality points. In my school (they’ve gotten rid of this now though), if you’re in an AP class you got 10 extra points and if you were in an Honors/PreAP class, you got 5 points. Colleges look at your grades without the points. The only purpose for these quality points is so that kids in CP classes don’t get valedictorian or some shit idk

38. If you’re in America, you’re gonna have somebody walking around school in a Trump shirt. By all means, beat their ass, but know the consequences. Also, if you’re gonna talk about politics with somebody, please know at least the bare minimum. At least know what the Hillary email scandal is before you try and defend her. Same goes for my friends across the pond. You see someone supporting Theresa May, beat their ass, know the consequences, and learn politics.

39. Actually? Check? Your? Grades? I know so many people who just don’t know what they’re grades are. Know you’re grades so you always know where you stand.

40. I wanna say class rank does not matter, but if you’re anything like me, you’re gonna obsess over it for a while. I know you wanna be in the Top 5, but if you’re no where near it, you’re gonna have to work EXTREMELY HARDER THAN NORMAL. Try not to make a huge deal out of it, unless you’re aiming for Valedictorian.

41. Moisturize ya self. Don’t nobody like ashy knees and elbows. Invest in some lotion.

42. Listen. We all hate dress code. But just follow it. You can’t do anything about it. Just wait til the weekend to wear your spaghetti strap shirt and ripped jeans. And if you wear leggings and you have a wide hip and butt area, you are definitely going to be called out. If you’re not sure if you’re breaking dress code with what your wearing, bring an extra shirt and jeans just in case.

43. Go the fuck to sleep. Don’t be up at ass o’clock in the morning doing who-knows-what on the internet. I know from experience. You may think you can survive 8 hours of school with 2 hours of sleep, but as the day goes on, you’re not gonna want do anything at all, but sleep. But hey, if 2 hours of sleep works for, go ahead. It’s not healthy but I can’t regulate your life.

44. If you walk in the wrong class, everyone will forget about it after the a good 2 days. Literally nobody cared that much. Just walk out and forget about it.

45. If you have a phone, get your friends numbers/contacts/emails. You’re gonna need them for homework sooner or later.

46. To all those uber religious people out there, drop the clean act. If you hear somebody say “fuck”, get over it. I don’t know how else to say it. Teachers cannot stop somebody from cursing completely. People are gonna have sex, people are gonna cuss, people are gonna be inappropriate, and all you can do is focus on yourself.

47. Wear deodorant. You will be surprised at the amount of people who don’t. 

48. Studyblr is fun. Studyblr is nice. That being said, studyblr is not the end of the world. If you don’t have a bullet journal, just use the calendar in your phone or have an online bujo. Don’t let studyblr take up 90% of your study time, because scrolling through the studyblr tag is not studying.

49. Don’t be that kid that walks around with fucking surround sound speakers on their back. Wtf, like invest in some headphones my guy.

50. Never buy a 1 inch binder. Always 2 inch and above, unless you know for sure you only need a 1 inch.

51. You are gonna have a set of people you absolutely hate that for some reason, you cannot get away from them. The best you can do is ignore them.

52. If you’re required to take a Fitness class and you are a festively plump child or an unhealthy/unfit person such as myself, you are going to be embarrassed at some point. Look. I cannot give you advice that’s gonna raise your self-esteem, but I can tell you that if you don’t pay attention to anyone else, it’s much easier to get through that class. The fitness gram pacer test doesn’t last forever. Likewise, don’t treat fitness class like the fucking Olympics. The coach asked for 10 pushups not 100.

53. Extra Credit is your friend. Even if you have a 100 in a class, extra credit doesn’t hurt.

54. Do not walk slow in the hallway, please. I like getting to class on time. If you plan on having a conversation in the hallway, only do it if you walk and talk at a reasonable speed.

55. If you ride the bus, get up at least 45 minutes before the bus gets there. I don’t have a big morning routine, so half of the time in the morning, I just scroll through twitter. Wake up early enough to get everything done.

56. C’s get degrees, my friend, but C’s don’t get scholarships.

57. If you wear AXE Body Spray or any perfume/cologne, I want you to know that your smell occupies the entirety of the hallway you’re on. Please, use only a small amount of fragrance, because not only do they most likely stink, some kids have asthma and some kids are allergic to fragrances. Just refrain from wearing strange smelling spays.

58. If you’re a theatre kid or sport kid, don’t be completely set on becoming a professional singer/actor/athlete. Have a Plan B. The last thing counselors wanna hear when they ask you what you want to be when you grow up, is a NBA Player.

59. To all my shy people out there, that speech you have to give doesn’t last forever. In fact, it may only last 3 minutes. In my literature class, we were required to recite lines from Romeo and Juliet, for some odd reason, and I made such a big deal out of something that barely affected my grades.

60. For this last and FINAL tip of this post, don’t give up. I didn’t wanna be generic, but here the fuck! I! am!!! When I took AP World History, part of the reason I ‘failed’ was because I just stopped trying. I would make low C’s on the test and just think, “Well I didn’t pass, might as well just give up.” Well, no shit you didn’t read the chapter. If you’re trying all you’ve got and you’re just not making it, talk to the teacher. That’s one thing I regret from my freshman year. I just gave up. I didn’t try and get help because I felt that getting help meant that I was stupid. It doesn’t. It just means you’re smarter for trying to get a good grade.

WELL THAT’S ALL FOLKS! Sorry if my cursing doesn’t fit your aesthetic, too bad. I can probably think of 40 more tips to make this 100, but I didn’t want this post to be extremely long (lol good job on that). Anyways, if you ever want any help, feel free to message me, but I’m not that good at text conversations or conversations in general so I’m your last resort.

TO THE UPCOMING FRESHMAN: Have a great first year of high school! You’re about to enter a new life where the teachers are more serious and, yes, coloring still somehow counts as a grade.

TO THE UPCOMING SOPHOMORES: I know. You’ve only been here one year and your tired. Have hope. You’re one year closer to that diploma.

NHL!Bitty, Part IX - ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships’

(Alright, you guys voted for #2, so enjoy!)

Eric gets hit on in a hotel bar during All-Star weekend. For the first time in a long time, it’s not because he’s a famous hockey player.

It would be very flattering, except the man trying to seduce him works for Jack’s PR firm, and bro is playing fast and loose with some seriously confidential information. 

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!


It’s been a long, exhausting day. Between the flight, check-in, the press junket, the photo ops, all Eric wants is to get a little bit drunk with the guys, grab some dinner, and fool around in Jack’s hotel room. Hopefully in that order, but he’s open to fooling around whenever.

He must have a dopey smile on his face thinking about the debauchery he’s been looking forward to all week when he realizes someone is watching him from across the bar. 

Tall, nice hair, professional, and he’s looking at Eric, no, at the empty chair next to him. And he’s walking over. 

“Is this seat taken?”

Keep reading

A Softer Love
  • “There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.”
  • “I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.”
  • “Our love was doomed, a burning building, a broken neck. But nothing since you and me even feels like love.”
  • “I want everyone to love me and I’m pretty sure the trick is to just be myself, but with money.”
  • “I can only infer that love exists from its effects on others.”
  • “I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now.”
  • “You are the love of my life so far.”
  • “Will you still love me when I am a spooky ghost?”
  • “I’m in love with the you I wish you were. I only stay with you because you look like him.”
  • “Sometimes even love isn’t enough. So what chance do WE have?”
  • “I wish being in love was enough. I wish it counted for anything at all.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away.”
  • “Yeah, maybe we all die alone. I masturbate alone, too. Sometimes.”
  • “Sometimes when two people love each other it’s really unfortunate.”
  • “I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another.”
  • “If love lasted forever, we’d only ever get one.”
  • “Just once I’d like to fall in love with someone? who will ruin things before I do.”
  • “Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough.”
  • “I am terrified I will never find another love like ours.”
  • “I want to carve our initials in the bark of everyone who ever hurt you.”
  • “I love the way your face lights up when someone says, "It might be dangerous.”“
  • "All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.”
  • “Our love is like an animatronic pigeon. No! It’s like a sex party on the moon! Also I am a bit drunk.”
  • “I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love.”
  • “When you get that look, nobody is safe. It’s why I first fell in love with you.”
  • “You are a good person and I love you. This just isn’t the life I hoped I’d have.”
  • “Marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, it’s between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.”
  • “Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.”
  • “Sometimes I think you might fall in love with someone else and all my problems will be solved.”
  • “I keep all my old love letters, but to be honest I just skim them for the dirty bits.”
  • “It would be easier to deal with falling out of love if it hadn’t somehow made the sex exciting again.”
  • “Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.”
  • “If our love lasts forever it’s gonna get real awkward when one of us dies.”
  • “There are just two things that make life worth living. The people you love, and sweet pranks.”
  • “I love those quiet moments in the dark where you can stop pretending.”
  • “I don’t know what the fuck true love even is but I do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life.”
  • “I said I’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. I guess that’s my problem. A failure of imagination.”
  • “I know I can’t make you love me. But I wish I could make you shut up about not loving me.”
  • “Our love is a meteor impact, a super volcano erupting. We won’t survive but we won’t die bored.”
  • “At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now I didn’t even know you were sad.”
  • “You don’t love me, but you used to. I wanted to say thank you for that.”
  • “You and I will never be a great love story. That’s ok! Let’s see what kind of story we’ll be.”
  • “When I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kind of horny.”
  • “I lost the woman I loved and now all I have are my father’s well-meaning words, "Maybe now you can meet a nice man.”“
  • "I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.”
  • “She’s like an angel. My family loves her but I just don’t believe anymore." 
BTS reaction to: You sitting on their lap

Enjoy ;)


Jin

Jin watched you crawl across the couch with a curious expression.  You said noting as you placed yourself snugly on his lap and smiled. He felt his cheeks heat up at your actions and gave a nervous laugh. If you two were alone I would be a different story, but it just so happens a you were in the dorms. With all the boys. Watching a movie.  So he leaned in and whispered in your ear

Ahh princess if we were alone right now I would have had you pinned to the couch already.

Originally posted by jhopefluxo

Yoongi

He had his head tilted back slightly and his eyes closed. You were sitting next to him watching the tv when you got rather bored.  Yoongi raised and eyebrow in his “sleep” when your weight shifted from next to him to on him. You smiled at his surprised expression despite his eyes being closed. You wanted a better reaction out of him so you wiggled your hips. His raised eyebrows furrowed and he groaned. Finally opening his eyes and smirking. Needless to say you two nearly broke the couch.

You did this to yourself Kitten

Originally posted by scartic

Hobi

You and Hobi were playing Video games and you were losing. And he was playing dirty, literally. Catching you off guard and squeezing your leg or running his hand along your inner thigh. Anything that would leave you flustered so he could pull ahead.  And it was working greatly for him. So when he began to pull further ahead you caught him off guard by throwing yourself on his lap. And you teasingly grinded a bit, and by bit i mean you made him drop the control and grab your hips.  Needless to say you won.

Ahh! Jagi! Not…not fair…

Originally posted by kpoop

Namjoon

Namjoon was ignoring you for his music. You were ok with that since it was his job. But it’s been four hours, and you were getting… bored. So when he was leaning back in his chair, headphones on and eyes closed, you made your move. You snuck up next to him and then plopped yourself on his lap. His eyes flew open and a surprised noise. He took off his headphones and a smirk grew on his features. You smiled knowing what was bound to happen next.

Ah is my baby girl bored?  

Originally posted by bexsblogposts

Jimin

Jimin  was mindlessly scribbling don ideas for new choreography. But that also meant he was ignoring you due to how focused he was. So when he leaned back in his chair to stretch you pounced. He let out a yelp of surprise when he felt you on top of him. You acted innocent, reading through his notes and complimenting him on his ideas. You kept your smirk hidden as you pretended to absentmindedly wiggled your hips. Leaving him stuttering in response.

Ah! Jimin-ah that’s a really good idea!  Ah…ah thank.. Thank you

Originally posted by kpopkpoop

Taehyung

Taehyung had been scrolling idly through his phone, really not paying you any mind.  He was doing this on purpose due to the fact he loved when you got all cute and pouty, he thought it was adorable. But was completely caught off guard when you very “innocently” crawled into his lap and put your head against his chest. He composed himself and pretended to ignore it before you began purposely grinding your hips. He couldn’t ignore that if he tried. 

How should punish my bad little baby?

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Jungkook

Jungkook was sitting at  the table drawing. And you were getting pretty bored and well… needy. So you snuck up behind him and tapped his shoulder. When he turned around you snuck around the other side and plopped yourself on his lap.  He’d turn around and by Jungshook (I’m sorry) and smirk

 Aww is my little bunny needy?

Originally posted by yourpinkpill


Hope you Enjoyed!

All For Show Part 2

Pair : Steve Rogers x Reader

8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. Requested by anon. 

Warning : Language
Word Count : 982

Part 1 

Originally posted by imaginesofeveryfandom

It’s been a week since your sisters Valentine’s Day dinner. And the moment you made it to your apartment, you kept your distance from Steve.

The feelings you had for him were not only confusing, but painful. You couldn’t be with him. You couldn’t damage the friendship you two had because of things didn’t work out, you knew everything would change.

You were in love with your best friend. The biggest cliche of them all. Something you would always tease. But here you were.

Steve called you everyday since the dinner. Not knowing what was going on. He even knocked on your door a couple of times. But you never answered.

You were terrified.

He left voicemails on your phone, asking you to call him back. Telling you how much he misses you and wants you to talk to him.

It was the hardest thing to do, to push him away.

—–

“Shit! I’m going to be late!” You yelped as you shot up in bed.

Quickly, you threw whatever you had near you, on and pulled your hair up in a messy bun.

It was your first day back to work since the dinner, and you couldn’t be late.

You were an assistant for one of the biggest fashion designer in New York City. And she wasn’t one to be late for.

As you opened the door to leave, you tripped over something, almost knocking you over. “Ow!”

“What the hell?” You groaned.

Looking back, you felt your breath hitch to the back of your throat. Your body stiffened as your eyes met his.

“Just beat me up why don’t you.” Steve slightly chuckled, pulling himself up off the ground.

“W-What’re you d-doing here?” You stuttered.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, his stare more intense than it was before.

“I’m making sure my best friend is okay.” He said. “Why haven’t you answered any of my calls? Or texts?”

You swallowed hard and immediately averted your eyes else where as you turned your back to him.

“I’ve been busy.” You lied.

“Too busy to send a quick text back?” He asked. “Did I do something? Did I screw up the dinner? What the hell happened?”

You didn’t want him to find out the real reason why you’ve been ignoring his calls. Which you decided to play it cool.

“You did nothing wrong.” You stated. “I’ve just been busy. My sister had me running around the city with her, planning her stupid wedding.” Part of that was true, but it was always just for a couple of hours.

Steve studied your face for bluff. His brows scrunched together as if he were thinking of something.

Until a smile crept on his lips and his stare softened. “Ok good. I thought I did something.” He chuckled. “I’ve missed you though. I never knew how boring my life is without you until now.”

You playfully rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Stop being dramatic. It was only a week.” You teased. “But seriously, I have to go before I’m late.”

As you were about to walk away, you felt his hand tug at yours.

“Come over tonight. I’ll order Chinese and we can watch pirates of the Caribbean.” He smiled.

You wanted to come up with some excuse. But you had nothing.

“Before you could even say no, im going to leave.” Steve chuckled. “I’ll see you tonight. And say hi to Satan for me.”

And just like that, he was gone.

Your were finally able to let out a long breath, which you didn’t even know you were holding.

A part of you was happy to see him, to feel him again. But the other part wanted to scream.

Today was going to be a long day.

—–
(9 hours later)

“So what’re you going to do tonight?” Riley asked as she swung her purse over her shoulder. Ready to leave for the day.

You shrugged your shoulders and yawned. “Going to Steve’s for some Chinese.”

Riley smiled at the name. Ever since she met Steve at your birthday party last year, she had this small thing for him. But who could blame her?

“That sounds fun.” She stated. “You’re so lucky to have a guy like him. I remember just how funny and sweet he was at your party. How long have you two been dating?”

“What? N-No, he and I are just friends.” You muttered. “Nothing more.”

“Oh wow, I thought you two were together. My mistake.”

“It’s okay. He’s just my best friend.” You reassured her.

Riley bit on her lower lip, her fingers twisting her hair as if she were nervous. “Well if you two aren’t dating, would it be okay if I talked to him?”

Your stomach dropped, a spark of jealousy ignited in you and as much as you wanted to say no. To tell her he’s all yours, you didn’t.

You knew you couldn’t be with him. You knew you had to ignore these feelings.

“What’re you doing tonight?” You asked.

—–

Steve was so excited to spend the night with you. To be with you again.

The entire week, when he was alone he realized just how important you were. He realized how much he wanted to see you and suddenly, his feelings for you grew.

He wanted tonight to be special.

Steve wasn’t someone who acted on his feelings until now. When he saw you today, he wanted nothing more than to pull you in and kiss you again.

But he wanted to do it right. This was the first time he had ever felt this way for someone.

The knock at his door made his stomach flutter. Not only was he excited to hang out with you, he was nervous.

“You got this.” He whispered to himself.

As he opened the door, his smile twitched. “R-Riley?”

“Hey.” She smirked.


Part Three

Humans are Space Orcs

Humans love destruction. Not crush entire planets and wipe out civilizations kind of destructive. Although we have done so in the past. To our own people too.
Not all alien species know about the human history of destruction. Those humans classified with psychopathic tendencies don’t qualify to go into space and leave Earth. So most aliens haven’t experienced the human destruction.

We love it. We knock over towers of cards our friends built. We tear up paper for the fun of it. Don’t even mention bubble wrap. Pop pop goes the plastic. There is no purpose other than our enjoyment.
Martial arts and war games online. It is simply in our nature, no matter how kind and peaceful you are.

Some aliens notice after months on a ship with a human member. Some don’t say anything because the galactic court rules humans to be a loyal and peaceful ally. Some ask about it.

“Human Jade, why have you ripped the schedule?”
“Oh, hey Jolac. I was just bored. I didn’t really need it anymore.”
Jolac made a head motion and tilted his head in confusion.
“You could have put it in the recycle shute as it was.” He added.
“Don’t worry, I’ll put the pieces in the recycle…”
“That’s not what I was referring to…”
Mark was walking by in that moment and stopped by them.
“What a mess you are Jade. My sister did the same thing. Clean up okay?”
Mark pointed at the paper scraps.
Jolac turned to Mark.
“Is reckless destruction a habit of boredom? Is it a common trait among humans?”
Mark and Jade glanced at each other and shrugged.
“Yeah, sort of. But we don’t mean anything bad by it.” Mark said and went on his way.
Jade stood as well and scooped up the paper pieces, heading for the recycle shute. Jolac was frozen with confusion.

Another instance was a conversation between Jolac and his brother Kamo. They had both gone down to a surface mission with the two humans Mark and Jade. They were on a break at the moment.
Mark had picked up a thick stick and called over to Jade. The female human picked up some of the round and hollow fruit shells that were shattered around on the ground. She tossed the shells at Mark and he swung at them. Some were shot up into the air while others bust open into pieces and dust. Laughter erupted from the two.
“What are the humans doing?” Kamo asked his brother as they ate from their food supplies. Jolac huffed.
“I think that is a game of theirs”
“Hitting things until they break? I thought our humans were peaceful” Kamo asked. Jolac tilted his head.
“That’s the thing. They are. It’s a complex thing, human nature.”
They continued to watch their humans as they beat hollow shells and laughed loudly.

Cheap Thrills (reader x Bucky Oneshot)

Characters: reader, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Tony, Bucky, OC Mark. 

Summary: A bet within the Avengers becomes a battle of the sexes, with you at the center of it. Who will be victorious and could it somehow help you snag the man of your dreams? 

Song Inspiration: Cheap Thrills by Sia

Warnings: drinking, sexist behavior? Mild violence mentioned, very subtle mention of sexy times. 

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: This was supposed to be a short one, but eh. I’ve been living in the land of heavy angst with You are My Heaven and intense stress in my real life so when this fun, fluffy idea popped up, I ran with it. I’m working on a lot of other stuff so be patient, please! As always, I appreciate your feedback. Love each and every one of you!! 

Masterlist

_________________________________________________________

Originally posted by luvinchris

“Uh uh. No way.”

“It’s true, trust me.”

“You wanna bet?” Clint challenged the redhead across the table from him.

Natasha leaned forward and held his gaze, not an ounce of doubt in her demeanor. “Absolutely.”

It was too early in the morning for this childish banter, you thought from your seated position at the far end of the long kitchen table. You slumped forward, dipping the tea bag in and out of the steaming mug of liquid before you, then setting it on the small saucer beside it. Wrapping your hands around the cup’s warmth, your eyes unfocused as you continued to tune out the blathering of your teammates. The only other person in the room paying them no mind was Bucky, who was slouched in a cozy chair, thoroughly engrossed in a book.

“Now wait a minute,” a third voice joined the argument, “If we’re gonna do this, we gotta level the playing field a little. Nat could do this in her sleep. We need someone a little more…down to earth. How about Y/N?” Sam gestured toward you.

Blinking a few times, you finally broke out of your stupor. “Hey! I was only half listening to your stupidity, but I think I’m offended.”

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Peter Parker - Confessions

i thought this was super cute and i hope you guys enjoy it!! 

warnings: kissing and  swearing

word count: 2002

requests are open:))!!

Originally posted by a-khaleen

sitting in science last period i was trying to keep myself from falling asleep. i could feel my eyes slowly begin to shut as my head was resting on the palm of my hand. peter nudged me as my eyes began to shut completely. i jumped slightly then kicked him under the table, mouthing a few curse words his way. i could see his body vibrating with laughter as my angry face turned to look at the board.

rinnnnnnggggg

the bell sounded and the whole classroom came to life, majority practicality running out of the class. i grabbed my things and followed peter and ned out of the class, we stopped at my locker first i began placing my things back in my locker and grabbed my back pack.

“movie night?” i asked peter a small smile forming on my face once i saw his reaction. his face lit up as a large smile was placed on his face, he nodded his head excitedly as we began making our way to his locker. along the way we lost ned in the crowd of people. peters smile was still on his face when we arrived at his locker.

i love his smile

peter looked at me for a second, his face turned a bright shade of pink and his lips began to twitch up at the ends. “what?” he questioned as he pulled his bag from his locker. “did i say something?” i played dumb with him, i was not going to admit to my best friend of 5 years that i was madly in love with him while he spent all of his time looking at liz completely oblivious to how i feel.

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