you choose me god

Living with anger issues I can’t work on
  • I get angry at technology A LOT
  • When people tell me how to feel the only thing i feel is ANGER
  • I’m not gonna calm down because your voice is whispered and kind
  • i’m still angry
  • there are some days where i don’t want to here a single person’s voice.
  • if you try to tell me something you found on the internet i will get extremely impatient
  • i fucking hate when i’m being so unfair but i don’t know how to not be unfair
  • I GET REALLY CONTROLLING 
  • TELLING ME TO STOP BEING SUCH A BABY MAGNIFIES MY ANGER
  • there are sometimes i really want to cry but i can’t because I’M ANGRY. 
  • I am a total ass to everyone and everything 
  • i’m a pacifist but even i wanna throw a bag of bricks at your face when you tell me how i’m supposed to react

anonymous asked:

can you please do number 9? thank you :)

9. “Why didn’t you call me?”

Betty moaned, the heavy ice pack sending chills down her spine as she twisted uncomfortably under the school nurses bony fingers.

“It’s not broken, it seems to just be a pretty bad sprain. I’m gonna have to put you in a sling for at least the rest of this week, no cheerleading and two aspirin per meal.” The nasally women shook her head in disapproval “those Southside kids, roughing up such a bright young girl like you, they ought to be kicked out and sent on the streets.

Betty smiled faux gratefully as the woman walked away, an uncomfortable pit in her stomach as Veronica hopped up onto the plastic covered bed Betty was currently perched on.

“Next time I see one of those..thugs, I’m clawing their eyes out. I’ll have the girls help me, you should have seen what we did to St.Clair.” Veronica hissed, her pretty face scrunched up in anger.

“It was probably just an accident V, it happens.”

“Shoving you face first and nearly breaking your collar bone is an accident?! Betty that boy went out of his way to push you, we all saw it. I thought Archie was going to lose his mind right there in the hallway.” Veronica clutched Betty’s hand, squeezing tightly.

“Sweet pea just… he’s never liked me, I assume it has something to do with Toni and Jugheads odd relationship, he’s just looking out for her is all. They’re best friends.” Betty defended, okay so maybe the dark haired Serpent had shoved her aggressively into the metal lockers as he and his friends laughed but he was just trying to scare her, it wouldn’t work, Betty was strong. Stronger than all of the leather in the world.

“All I know is ever since Southside merges with Riverdale those Serpents have been making your life miserable and your boyfriend hasn’t done a single thing about it, he’s oblivious to all the hate you’ve been getting.” Veronica raised an accusatory brow, her chocolate brown eyes burning into Betty’s.

“It doesn’t concern him, and besides, I tell him things!”

Veronica snorted
“Oh Yeah? like when the blue and gold office was vandalized last week by those two tattooed midgets in the leather jackets and you told Jughead it was just some football jock with a vendetta against a story you posted about Riverdales funds?”

Betty winced
“Those are Jugheads friends, I don’t want to cause a wedge because of some immature prank, it was toilet paper and spray paint, easy enough to clean up!”

“Okay well then how about when Toni and her bleached blonde bimbo friends stole your clothes from the locker room forcing you to walk around in your gym shorts and t shirt all day? You told Jughead it was just unseasonably warm that day.” Veronica added air quotes to the already dramatic story.

Betty’s shoulders slumped
“It was warm” She whispered, her voice defeated.

“It’s winter! Listen Betts, the idiotic pranks and the destroying of property, that’s stupid and unnecessary but it’s whatever. This? Hurting you? Physically hurting you? That’s not okay and Jughead has to know.” Veronica stepped off the bed and placed one hand gently on Betty’s uninjured shoulder.

Betty sighed, her eyes welling with unshed tears
“I just…. I don’t want him to have to pick.” She whispered.

Veronica stepped back
“Why? You know he’s going to pick you, he’ll always pick you.”

It was quiet for a moment before a new voice joined the two girls.

“She’s right, I will always pick you.”

Betty’s eyes shot up to the door quickly, her stomach flipping when she saw Jughead leaning against the nurses office door, concern etched across his face mixed with something that looked eerily similar to pain.

“How long have you been there?” Betty asked nervously.

“Long enough to know all of the things you’ve been lying to me about.”

Veronica took that moment to make her exit
“And that’s my cue. I’ll see you after school B, movies and ice cream at my place.” She breezed past Jughead without a word, just a pointed glance in his direction, almost daring him to screw this up.

“Jughead…” betty started.

“The office Betts? The blue and gold? And your gym clothes? You lied to me, I could have fixed this, avoided all of this.” He moved across the room quickly, standing directly in front of her, his eyes scanning her body before landing on the swelling bruise on her collar bone.

“It’s not as bad as it looks” She whispered.

“Who? A name. Just a first one and I’ll make sure you never see him again.” Jughead growled his eyes glued to the bruise on his girlfriends body.

“Jughead, that’s not gonna make the bruise go away. I was going to tell you about all of that stuff that the Serpents have been doing I just…” betty trailed off, gasping when Jugheads eyes flew up to hers, Angry tears falling down his cheeks.

“You just what? You wanted to hide it from me? To keep me safe? I heard you tell Veronica you didn’t want to make me choose, god betty it’s not even an option, it’s you. You’re my choice in any decision. And then.. to hear about …this” Jughead gestured towards her limp arm “from Archie, you called Kevin Betty, why didn’t you call me?” His hands gripped hers desperately.

Her lip trembled as her fingers shook
“I.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t want you to be mad.”

Jughead jerked back
“At you? You thought I’d be mad at you?”

Betty shook her head abruptly
“No! No, not at me. At your friends.” She explained

Jughead chuckled, bitter and low
“Those people? The people who did this to you? They are not my friends, I want them gone. Don’t you understand that? I want to kill them for hurting you.” He dropped his forehead against Betty’s, gently rubbing her nose with his “I know this is hard and that’s my fault, the Serpents they’re my problem and they shouldn’t be yours too, I’m gonna handle this, I need you to know Betty, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world and nothing is going to change that , Okay?”

wrapping her good arm around her boyfriends neck, fingers digging into the leather of his collar she sighed, for the first time in a long time she actually believed him, maybe things would be okay.

“I love you too Juggie”

i just want to take a moment to thank all michemil/ emimike content creator. god bless all of you tbh.

One of the most liberating feelings in the world is realizing you don’t owe anyone shit

You don’t have to be friends with someone who treats you like crap even if you’ve known them your whole life. You don’t even owe them an explanation either. You get to choose who gets to be in your life. It’s a privilege, not a birth given right. 

If someone is hurting you or just flat out annoying, you don’t have to give them the time of day. Please cut the shitty people out of your life and surround yourself with awesome ones who make you happy. You deserve nothing but happiness and anyone who brings you down doesn’t deserve to be in it. 

2

A date with Princess of Jahad *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Scanned! Though the hardcopies look much smoother (/_\)

Also there was quite a long time span between the two, and I used different watercolor brands for them. I used mostly Prima Marketing : pastel dreams on Khun’s and I used mostly Mijello (known for being super vibrant, especially the red ones) on Bam’s. No wonder they looked so contrast lmao. Also I filmed the painting process for Bam and Yuri butttt I don’t have the time to edit the video QAQ.

And these were lined around four months ago, I think you can see the difference between “this” Bam and “the new thorn fragment” Bam. I guess I’m kinda proud to how I was able to improve within 2 months ;w;

6

Kpop meme wallpapers, requested 😝
Like and/or reblog if you save/use them :)

Request: Hi there.. i love your imaginees! And i was wondering if you could do a Fionn imagine please? Maybe the reader and fionn get in a fight and its raining.. and the reader decides to walk away because she’s really angry but he stops her ? Only if you want tooo🙈 i totally understand if you don’t.. well thankyouuu♡

—————-

“This happens every time Fionn, every damn time!” You shouted at your boyfriend, walking briskly down the deserted street. It had started to rain since you had left the pub, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were too angry.

You and Fionn had been dating for a year now, probably the best 12 months of your life, but sometimes there were moments where it was too much.

Like now for example.

A couple times a month you would go out with your group of friends, consisting mostly of guys. Fionn for the most part always came with you, and more often than not you ended the night with an argument.

Like tonight.

“Well maybe if you didn’t hang around so many other guys this wouldn’t happen!” He yelled back, angrily following you towards the apartment.

“They’re my friends Fionn! They have been for years before I met you! I’m not going to stop hanging out with them just because my boyfriend is being an idiot!” You declared, a steely tone to your voice that made Fionn angrier.

“So you’re choosing them over me?” He demanded, grabbing your arm and pulling you to a stop. You spun around then, beyond furious.

“I shouldn’t have to choose anyone!” You screamed, a single tear of frustration falling from your eye. You hastily wiped it away, glaring up at the boy in front of you.

“Well maybe you should. Because sometimes it feels like you care more about them than you do about me.” He ground out between his teeth, his hands clenching into fists.

“Do you even trust me at all?” You asked, your voice suddenly sounding small and vulnerable. Something flashed in Fionn’s eyes, making his demeanor soften.

“Of course I trust you.” He said, his voice considerably lower. This just set your anger off once again.

“Well it doesn’t fucking feel like it!” You were jabbing his chest with your finger, voice raising. “If you trusted me you wouldn’t worry about my friends. If you trusted me you’d never even think about making me choose between them and you. God Fionn, sometimes you just- you make me so- gah!” You were beyond words at that point, hands literally shaking in anger. “I need some space.”

You turned away from him without a second glance, beginning to walk away. His hand was grabbing your arm again a moment later, whipping you around so quickly you nearly lost your balance.

“What-”

Anything you had been about to say was cut off as his lips crashed into yours, hands holding your face firmly to his. Your body melted against his, instantly responding to the kiss.

You had a fleeting thought of how cliche this was, kissing your boyfriend in the rain, before his tongue was slipping past your lips and clashing with yours.

All of your anger melted away, leaving you only with a feeling of blissful unawareness.

Fionn was practically forcing your head back as he kissed you, his tongue working furiously against yours. He was leaving you breathless, stealing all the air from your lungs. Your mind was practically blank, only thoughts of how he was making you feel lingered.

Then suddenly it was over, dropping you back to reality.

You took a few moments to compose yourself, lungs gratefully taking in air. Once your heart was back to a normal speed again, you glanced up at a smirking Fionn.

“You can’t just shut me up every time I’m mad at you and expect-” You were cut off once again by your boyfriends lips, and once again you found yourself unwilling to stop him.

This time the kiss was slow and gentle, as if he was trying to coax you into forgiving him. It made you hate yourself because you knew it was working.

“I hate that I can be so angry at you one second, and then you do that and I can’t find it in me to be mad again.” You murmured once he pulled away, hands still fisting at the material covering his chest.

“I don’t want you to be mad at me. And I never want to be the one to upset you.” He whispered, wiping some of the rain droplets from your face. “I just get so jealous Y/N, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that I have a hard time sharing your attention with other guys. I know they’re just friends, really I do. And I trust you, so bloody much. But part of me feels like I don’t deserve you, sometimes I feel like you would be happier with one of them. That they could offer you more than I ever could. Could be with you more instead of leaving you waiting for months on end like I do.”

“Fionn.” You whispered gently, pulling his face towards yours so you could rest your forehead against his.

You waited until his eyes locked with yours, before you took a deep breath and began talking.

“I’m never as happy as I am when I’m with you.” You started, fingers tracing gently over his jaw line. “No one else would ever be able to make me happy because they wouldn’t be you. I don’t care about the months on end spent apart. It’s hard of course, but relationships aren’t meant to be easy. You’re meant to fight for a relationship, otherwise there would be no point in having one. And that feeling of seeing you again after so long is the greatest feeling I’ve ever experienced. That feeling makes all the long days without you worth it. And no one could ever offer me more than you can because you’ve offered me your heart, you’ve trusted me with it, and I’ve never wanted anything more. Having you, being able to kiss you and hug you, love you through the good times and the bad ones, that’s more than I could ever need.”

“Do you really mean that?” Fionn asked timidly, his eyes completely fixed on yours, as if trying to see into their deepest depths.

“Every word.”

“I’m sorry love. I love you so much.” He told you, those being the only words that he could think of at the moment.

“I know you do Fionn, and I love you too.” You replied, pulling away from him and taking his hand. You began walking down the street again, pulling him along beside you.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re not sleeping on the couch tonight.”

5

“I have no idea what happened, but I’m loving this!”

Requested by: honestly i have no idea 

6

“I was in sickbay doing drugs.”

This one just came through.
“Point of Light”
~White paint marker on Paper~
(( Through Channel Tori Bird Pope aka @jah-feel ))
Grounding the love/light of God/Goddess/One Infinite Creator/Spirit/Higher Self through our vessels, raising the vibration of Planet Earth. We create heaven on Earth by taking control of our thoughts and directing our energy towards love and our birthright of bliss. Every thought manifests. Meditation & a conscious diet (non GMO&Organic) are the keys to creating peace in this reality. What we focus on grows. I choose thoughts of unity. What do you choose?

Zades Shippers vs. The Universe
  • Universe: LOL Hades is such a tool, can't you see he's just playing her? He couldn't possibly know what love is... he's been alone for far too long. Why would anyone ever love someone like that?
  • Zades Shippers: DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING FIGHT ME I TOLD YOU WEEKS AGO HE FUCKING LOVED THIS WOMAN AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE'RE AT HE IS A PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL AND SHE IS THE ONLY LIGHT IN HIS FUCKING UNIVERSE AND YOU DO NOT NOT TOUCH THEM.
  • Universe: *blinks*
  • Zades Shippers: ...DO NOT. I WILL FUCKING END YOU. DO NOT TOUCH THEM.

You were made to love, not fear.
Those worries of:
“What if I show love and they don’t show love back?”
“What if I keep praying and they keep doing the same things?”
“What if I keep giving and I don’t give anything in return?”
“What if I show love and my heart ends up being broken?”

All of those worries have no power when you can say this:

“I choose to love because God loves me. Not because of other people or what they might give me in return, but because His love runs through my veins, and that kind of love is not interrupted by any amount of fear or hurt. This is why I will keep loving, and giving, because it is not earthly love that pulls the strings of my heart. It is Eternal love that keeps me going.”

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1 John‬ ‭4:18

The enemy will try to get you to only focus on the ones that broke your heart or let you down or gave you a reason to feel like you couldn’t fully love others. However, all of those things are rooted in fear…which is the very thing that the love of God drives out of us.

Yes, there are people who have hurt you and that was not right. Yes, there are those the took you for granted when you gave your all. But here’s the thing…we have also done this to Lord, because we have all sinned against Him. And yet, that didn’t stop Him from loving us. We break His heart when we sin against Him and He still says, “here….let me fix this. Let me draw you back near to Me.” God is grieved when we sin against Him, but He is not destroyed by it and He is definitely not afraid of it.

So if we believe that in Jesus, this is the kind of love that runs through our veins we now know that we have the freedom to love and keep loving, no matter who or what tries to convince us to give up. So keep on praying for us. Keep on giving. Keep on loving with all you have because you know that no matter who notices or cares, you are fueled by the love of God that is running through your veins.

Written by @morganhnichols for #TheDevoCo