you cant tell me they're not gay

flower bois.png

anonymous asked:

give us the deets on yo gay aunts

You got it 👌🏼👌🏼

Right so, for starters, only one of them is actually my aunt, and that’s Aunt Alicia, my mom’s sister. Aunt Luna is just Aunt Alicia’s bff from work, and they’ve known each other for like… 20+ years, so technically, she’s family, and therefore my aunt.

Anyway, here’s why I think they’re gay:

  • Whenever Aunt Luna stayed over at our house, which has over three empty beds for her to use, she always slept with my Aunt Alicia. ALWAYS. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. Every. Single. Time. 
  • And the same would happen when Aunt Alicia stayed the night at Aunt Luna’s place. But this is more understandable because Aunt Luna only has one bed. Still, it’s pretty damn gay if you ask me. 
  • They bought a house together recently. Now, a lot of straight women co-own houses with other women. Roommates are a thing for sure. But how many of those straight women sharing HOUSES and BEDS and BATHROOMS and BEING DOMESTIC AS FUCK are 50 years older and above? Like, not that many, alright? That’s just FAX!
  • The house they live in isn’t the ONLY house they own. Aunt Luna has a house (that Aunt Alicia now co-owns) in Manzanillo aka their favorite vacation spot that they go to all the time. Together, just the two of them. And they sleep where? On the same bed, even though there are TWO, each in separate rooms. I’d let this go if only one room had air conditioning, but BOTH rooms do. And both rooms are the same size and have windows and a TV on the wall. So like… 👀
  • They are SO domestic. SO DOMESTIC. They act like a couple, I swear to God. I don’t see them often bc they live in Mexico and I don’t, but whenerver I do, I get the most couple-y vibes a person could ever fuckin get.
  • Once, we went to Manzanillo together (we being them, me, my cousin, my cousin’s mom aka my mom and Aunt Alicia’s sister, my mom, and my stepdad) and when we had to separate to go get different tasks finished, they broke off and went A L O N E. And they didn’t show up until it was night, so like… five or so hours later. We had no idea where they went. This was shady bc I was only visiting for a few weeks, so I was like ‘what the fuck’ ya know? Did they not want to spend time with me? Like, did they not realize I was gonna leave for another year? 
  • ALSO, that same time we were there, on one of our final days there, they disappeared during the night. Just the two of them. Didn’t tell anybody or anything. Didn’t show up until the morning, way after the rest of us had woken up. Suspicious, huh?
  • They’re very touchy with each other. VERY touchy. No two heterosexual very Catholic women would EVER be that touchy in Mexico.
  • If their life was a Netflix Original TV Show, it would be VERY obvious that they were a gay couple, or that they liked each other at least. Trust me. They would be those gay gals always teasing each other, calling each other insults as pet names, being touchy, being way too domestic to be straight, etc etc etc. 
  • Did I mention neither of them ever married (men)? Nor did they ever had kids? Shady, especially for the time period they grew up in, and especially in our Catholic hometown in Mexico, where EVERYONE is straight and married and has kids. (Mexicans really love having kids, ig.) 
  • I mean, sure, ^^ this isn’t terribly out of the norm now, but it’s just… strange? Because everyone else that they know IS married and DOES have kids, and the fact that they are the only ones that don’t and are so couple-y with each other?? Very suspicious, if you ask me. 
  • I mean, my Aunt Alicia did date a guy once, but she and he broke up ages ago and that’s the only guy she ever dated. That was over thirty years ago… hey… wait a sec… how long ago did she meet Aunt Luna?? Oh, that’s right! 20+ years ago! Hmm… it’s kinda funny how that sort of adds up…
  • I saw them wearing rings on their ring fingers once, at different times, but still. Kinda gay to wear rings on your RING fingers if you’re not married but live, eat, work-out, do EVERY SINGLE THING with ya same-sex bff… hm…
  • They own PLANTS together. That’s FUCKIN GAY. Like, that’s not even me reaching, or anything. This is just common knowledge! Gay culture IS owning plants with ya partner! That’s just fax!
  • Aunt Luna loves the song ‘Born This Way’ by Lady Gaga, and if that’s not a sign, then IDK what is. I mean, sure, she doesn’t know a single word of English, but like… it’s the thought that counts, ok? 
  • When I bought two gay ass books last summer and got singled out by everybody that went to the store w me, I told them that the reactions upset me and they were very accepting and open-minded. Did I come out to them? No. I just told them I wanted to learn more about the gay friends I had. Then they smiled at me and looked… como se dice… relieved. 👀
  • My cousin also thinks they’re gay.
  • I had a dream once, when I was like six or seven years old, that they were a couple. I didn’t know what being gay was when I was that age, so obviously, their behavior was more than enough to be perceived as romantic by a clueless child like me. 
  • They go to dinner to fancy ass restaurants JUST by themselves all the fuckin time. Two people who live together and sleep in the same bed and are domestic as fuck going to fancy ass restaurants sounds like the definition of a date to me. 
  • They wear each other’s clothes. That’s gay culture, bro.
  • I’m gay and my gaydar says so. 
  • EDIT: i forgot to say… whenever I call one of them, they ALWAYS mention the other one. ALWAYS. always. Always. when i call my other relatives, they dont always mention their significant other/other family members. yet they always mention each other… hm..