I have a really hard time supporting my straight girl friends’ relationships or when they even start to get involved with a guy and like it’s so bad we’ll argue cause they always say I “don’t like any guys they’re with” and it’s such a problem like is it just me being too gay? Or am I just a possessive friend ? Or maybe it’s both idek but help
so. i dont know or the specifics of your situation but.
straight girls often settle for really shitty men in general bc heterosexual men are Bad in general. I have had major issues with pretty much all of my straight friend’s boyfriends except one (who i have never met so mind u im not even sure if i have issues with him yet) and told most of them my problems with their boyfriends and most of the time they (unsurprisingly) defended their men the same way raccoons defend their trash
i would say you might be a possessive friend, but being gay gives you a very important outside perspective to heterosexual relationships that your friends probably refuse to admit is there. Since you are removed from heterosexual dynamics in your relationships, expectations, and life in general, its easy for you to see heterosexual bullshit. as a result, its easier for you to identify when men are shitty.
your straight friends, on the other hand, probably have regularly low heterosexual standards. he might be kinda racist and sexist, but he respects her and cares about her. maybe hes homophobic and xenophobic, but he didnt vote for trump and hes cute. maybe hes kind of an asshole, but “deep down he’s a really nice guy!!!!” you know how straight girls are. they will defend shitty men until the ends of the earth for ridiculous reasons.
so in reality, you probably bring up valid criticisms of these men, your friends just refuse to believe them. one of my high school best friends boyfriend called me a “femenazi” but she justified it because “he just doesnt understand.” unsurprisingly to me but earth-shattering for her, he turned out to be (and had been the entire time, she just didnt listen to me) a really shitty person with lots of other characters flaws that made the relationship not worth it. it took her like seven months to break up with him despite the fact that i told her she cant really justify dating a man who calls women he disagrees with “femenazis.”
and while being right is satisfying, its also frustrating that your friends dont listen to you. and while its bad advice for me to tell you to lie in the sense that lying to your friends isnt a good thing to do, sometimes it isnt the best idea to roast their boyfriends, no matter how badly their boyfriends need to be roasted.
in general, i would say you probably arent being ridiculous, you probably just dont have the same heterosexual low standards straight women do, and you can actually see how shitty these men are. that being said, i would say its probably best to keep your disapproval mostly to yourself unless you actually think its going to help your friends. dont, like, lie and say hes awesome, just maybe tone it down unless you think she wants to break up with him.