you cant live a positive life

‘you have to respect your president’ is an absolutely terrifying statement and i never want to hear it again. no. you don’t have to respect a man that is racist, islamophobic, misogynistic, homophobic, intolerant, disrespectful (and the list goes on). the idea that you have to respect someone just because they’re in a position of power is fundamentally wrong, it’s how dictatorships work, it’s how oppression thrives, it’s saying that lives of minorities are somehow worth less. are you hearing yourselves?

Stiles Stilinski Imagine- Avoiding Love (Part One)


Authors Note- So this was sort of inspired by the film ‘Stuck In love” which is like the only romance film I can re-watch. The reader has quite an icy persona so if that’s not what you like then I’m sorry. I was listening to this song while proof reading and it sort of goes with it, if you care that is you can find it here x

“Therefore you cant live a positive life with a negative mind-” Stiles spoke, to conclude his class presentation. It was a Friday afternoon and your English teacher decided to publically ridicule you all by making you each do a five minute presentation on ‘Your personal outlook on life’. “Does anyone have any questions for Stiles, or does anyone want to challenge his view point?” the teacher asked. When you raised your hand with that cocky look of yours the teacher gave a small sigh that was almost inaudible, almost. “Yes Y/n” she breathed, you see she pretended to hate the many debates you and Stiles had but she secretly loved to hear you argue with thoughts in complete juxtaposition to one another’s. “Positive people also have negative thoughts, they just don’t let those thoughts control them” you contributed, mainly to see the face Stiles pulled when he tried to think of a quick argument back. “Exactly, so you’re saying that positive people have an overall positive outlook because they choose to ignore the negativity surrounding them” he scoffed smugly. “Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of negativity being with us all and some people wallowing in it more than others. But you cant define a positive attitude with ones ability to block out what happens in their life or around them” you retort. After noticing the majority of the students in your class were rather half asleep or confused your teacher interrupted and suggested you begin with your presentation. You stood up and smirked at Stiles as you walked past him, letting him know you were about to make his presentation look miniscule in comparison to your own. “I’ve always been one of those people who look ‘too deeply’ into a situation or into someone and that’s because I learnt from a young age that there’s always something more than what you could ever see. But the one thing I’ve never understood is love, I guess you could say it’s because I’ve never experienced it but if love means putting all your trust into someone besides yourself and hoping they don’t take advantage of that, then I think I’ll pass. I’ve watched people fall hopelessly for people who don’t feel the same and it’s the cruellest, most unforgiving heartache I’ve ever witness and what do we do? We convince ourselves that there’s some sort of force known as ‘love’ that excuses every shitty feeling we’ve ever felt, that makes the hell you feel okay because we’re supposedly all apart of a probable cause. So as you may have already guessed my 3am thoughts aren’t wasted on thinking about a guy who may or may not like me back, because I don’t spend every waking of my being wishing that I’ll finally find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Who’d have my children and get bored after going through a midlife crisis at 30, who’d look at all the young men at his work and be bitter of how his youth was somehow stripped from him by the responsibility of a family. Who’d end up having an affair, because they always do, dragging the children through all divorce has to offer. I guess what I’m trying to say is I believe that life has a deeper meaning, to the emotions we are told we should feel. Love doesn’t come naturally like sadness or anger, so why are we trying to make it more than it is? Life is what you make it, not what people tell you it should be” the bell rang shortly after you finished, the class clapped after hearing something that had never even crossed their minds before. You simply walked back over to your desk and picked up your school bag as if nothing happened, not seeing Stiles sit stiff in his chair, his mouth gawping at the sound of your harsh words.

”Y/n! Y/n!” Stiles called as he stumbled through the crowds of people in the hallway. You leant against your locker door and smiled as he approached you frantically. “What Stiles? Did you not have enough class time to disagree with me, so you want to carry it on into lunch again?” you questioned, with unavoidable sarcasm in your voice. “No, I just wanted to ask if you really feel that cynical about love” he said, as you began walking down the hall together. “You’re sweet Stiles, but I’m not a nice girl and you’re wasting your time if you think we’ll be anything more than this” you claimed, without batting an eyelid. “And what exactly are we now?” he questioned. “Nothing, we’re nothing Stiles” you spoke, it coming across more cold hearted than you intended to be with him. He stopped dead in the middle of the masses of students trying to get past to lunch or class, causing you to do the same and turn to look at him. His eyes widened as his head bobbed as he repeated the word “Nothing” in the form of a question. “Look, your friends are over there waiting for you. I suggest you hurry before they leave you” you said, deflecting what he was saying. He rolled his eyes, but said one last thing before you completely disappeared to find your own friends. “I may be nothing to you, but I’d be really interested in sharing a 3am conversation with you” he called. “We’ll see Stilinski, we’ll see” you called back, with an unavoidable grin on your face.

You opened your front door to see none other than Stiles Stilinski standing there, armed with a collection of Star Wars DVDS and popcorn. “Come in” you sighed with a laugh, not being able to turn away someone who resembled a lost puppy. “Are you here alone?” he asked, noticing the countess takeout boxes scattered on the kitchen worktop and the lack of sound other than the living room TV that was playing re-runs of old shows. “Uhm yeah, come on” you said, taking his hand and guiding him upstairs. You took the things out of his hands and placed them on your bed, before sliding open your bedroom window. Meanwhile he was running his hand along your things, that would have so many enriched sentimental memories that he wouldn’t be able to imagine if he tried. “Come on” you guided, gesturing for him to follow you onto the roof outside your window. “Are we not watching the films?” he pouted. “Stilinski you want to experience what a 3am conversation is like with me, this is as close as you’re going to get, so get your ass out here” you said while climbing out. He followed shortly and perched beside you. “How long have you been here alone?” he questioned. already half knowing the answer from what he could work out. Usually you were reserved when it came to things like your family, but there was just something freakishly weird that made you want to tell him. “You want the honest truth?” you glanced from the view of the outside world to look at the one in his eyes. He nod his head gently. “Well my mom caught my dad screwing his intern again and so they’re on a break together in the Maldives;  to try and ‘work things out’ so in other words its going to be an intense period of meaningless make-up sex because he’ll only do it again a few months down the line. So it’s just me and my brother, when he isn’t over at his friends house that is, getting drunk or stoned” you explained, sounding almost numb to the pain it should cause you. “I had no idea, I am so sor-” he began saying before you interrupted him. “Please don’t apologise, I’ve heard enough empty ones to last a lifetime” you claimed. “So is that what your presentation was based on? Your parents?” he asked. “Kind of, but their distorted version of a ‘normal’ relationship isn’t the only thing that makes me hate the idea of love. I guess it’s like religion, some people choose to believe in it for comfort and to give them hope because what would life be without hope, right?” you explained. “So you’re saying that love isn’t necessarily real, we just believe it is” he said, involuntarily raising his eyebrows. “Yeah, why do you disagree?” you asked mockingly, hitting his shoulder playfully with your own. “I do disagree. You see there’s this girl and I’ve liked her for a long time and every time I see her It just makes me smile and even something as simple as her tucking her hair behind her ear when she’s concentrating or yawning in the middle of class gives me a reason to smile everyday just thinking how lucky I am to have her in my life” he looked away from you with a cheesy smile on his face, that would usually make you want to punch him. Your heart fluttered for a moment, imagining what it would be like if someone talked about you the way he did for that girl but you couldn’t resist putting the barriers back up. “Just avoid love at all cost. That’s my motto” you sighed loudly. He shook his head with a smile, “You know, you make these things so difficult” he claimed. “What things?” you asked, furrowing your brows. “I like you Y/n, I like you a lot” he sounded nervous but relieved that he was finally saying it. “You don’t know the first thing about me” you said. You were experiencing so many new and mixed feelings and even then you refused to let your guard down, which must have been so frustrating for someone like Stiles. “Then let me get to know you, the real you” he finally looked back at you. You gave a small smile before standing up and making your way back to your bedroom window, gesturing for him to follow.

“You totally did cry!” you laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn at him. “No, I had something in my eye and no it was not my tears” he said embarrassed. “I guess these films aren’t as bad as I thought they were” you pouted, examining the star wars DVD box in your hand. “I don’t know whether to be offended or excited by that comment” he said, while pulling his phone out of his pocket. You looked over his shoulder to see how many missed calls and texts he had from all of his friends. “Oh shit, I’ve got to go!” he jumped up. You sighed, why does everyone leave you? You sat up on your bed and pulled the pillow onto your lap. “I guess I’ll see you around” you couldn’t hide the sadness in your voice. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked, as he backed towards your bedroom door. “Yeah” you spoke softly. With that he headed downstairs. You weren’t sitting there for more than ten seconds before he barged back in, “On second thought, they can hold up without me for one night” he sat back down beside you on the bed and you looked at him with a smile and admiration in your eyes. That was before you shook it off and hit play on the next film. This time around it was more awkward for some reason and you found yourselves slowly getting closer to each other. You craved his touch, whether that be intentional or even something as simple as your arms or legs brushing past one another’s. Stiles checked the time on his phone as the movie came to an end, “It’s 1am, I best head off” he said softy, knowing you were half asleep. “Stay- Please” you spoke, looking up at him. He couldn’t help but stare at you for a moment, not really sure if this was actually happening or not. He slouched down beside you and stared at your celling with a smile on his lips. He didn’t expect Y/n Y/l/n, the girl notorious for being heavily guarded with little trust in people to rest her head on his chest and wrap her arm around him tightly before drifting off to sleep.

Your eyes drifted open, to see your arm resting on someone else. You felt someone’s head nuzzled in your neck and their arm around your waist. You ignored the initial feeling you felt and instead went with the one of regret. “Shit” you whispered, pushing them off you. Stiles groaned as he fell onto the floor beside your bed, which you couldn’t deny was pretty cute. He picked himself back up and rose to his feet. He’d never thought you’d looked more beautiful, strands of your hair messy but natural, your complexion glowing in the small amount of light coming from your window and your clothes all bunched, exposing your midriff, which you quickly covered after noticed him looking. “Get out Stilinski!” your voice was raspy and tired but still firm. He looked at you in confusion, “You do know, it was you that asked me to stay” he raised an eyebrow. “Just get out!” you threw a pillow at him and watched as he picked up his DVDS and shoes, before heading off downstairs. “Shit” you whispered again to yourself, sliding down your bedroom door after you shut it.

I’m definitely writing a part two, but did you guys enjoy this? Also bare with me with the other parts to “Because Of Me’, “The Girl In The White Dress’ and ‘What Happened To Y/n?’, I’m sorry I know you’ve been waiting for a while x

no of a fence but. why does this website absolutely hate ppl w dpd so much. like you can pretend as much as you want but i can literally Feel how much you despise us. like with everything even traits that we share with bpd you think we’re crazy obsessive fucks who cant function without taking up someones life. like ive lived with this pretty much all my teenage life and ive learned to cope with it in a healthy manner and yet every day i feel the same thing

Happily Ever After


Pairing: Derek x Reader

Summary: hi, i don’t mean to bother you but can i get a Derek one shot thing where you are an original and you grew up with Derek (he grew you were just around for it since you cant age) and he falls in love with you and vice versa but you don’t want to be be him because he can age so Klaus turns him into a hybrid and happily ever after.

Being an immortal vampire came with positives and a lot of negatives as well. The biggest positive was the most obvious one, that you got to live longer than others the downside to that was the ones you love couldn’t. That particular thought always came into your head when you were around Derek.

Derek Hale had been there right by your side through everything life had to throw at you. Growing up with him was an experience, he taught you many things, challenged you and showed you how to enjoy the little things in life. After you became a vampire the friendship shifted, and due to all your senses being heightened you realized that it was no longer friends that you wanted to be with him. It was a secret that didn’t say hidden for long, Derek soon found out and confessed that he too felt the same.

Now watching Derek engage in a conversation with Klaus the negative thought that came in, was ironically the same one that never left. While Derek grew older, you couldn’t and knowing that you’ll outlive him made your stomach turn. Walking in, both noticed your presences.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could speak to Klaus in private. That’s if you don’t mind Derek?”.

He smiled and said, “Not at all”.

You lead Klaus upstairs to have some privacy, and to be out of earshot of Derek considering what you wanted to ask had to do with him.

“Y/N you look positively nervous, whatever you wish to ask by all means do” Klaus poured himself a drink, before turning to face you.

“Klaus I’ve never asked you for anything, and what I’m about to ask is big. In fact I was hoping you would do it as a favor”.

Looking out the window upon the city of New Orleans, it radiated life even though there were vampires living among them. Tearing your eyes away, Klaus looked every bit interested at what you wanted from him.

“You know how I feel about Derek, he grew up with me. But here’s the thing Klaus he’ll keep growing all the way until his old, until he dies. While I’ll still be alive trying to figure out how to live without him”.

Just thinking about that prospect brought tears to your eyes, “I get that you don’t turn just anyone into a vampire or hybrid, but I need you to throw that rule out just this once and offer Derek the bite. So that he and I can be together, so that we can create a life with each other”.

You were hoping that your pleas and cries would be enough to convince Klaus, and standing in this room watching his body language carefully, apart of you was terrified that he would reject your request.

“And what if he doesn’t want the bite Y/N, what then?” he asked, putting down his drink.

“I don’t know Klaus, but I have to believe that what we feel is strong enough for him to take it. Please, please just offer it to him and let him decide”. Walking towards Klaus, you stood directly in front of him with a desperate look.

“If he takes the bite it will be up to you to show him how to live as a hybrid”. Nodding furiously, a bit of hope flowed through your body. Klaus walked towards the door, stopped and then turned. “This is the only favor I will grant, if something goes wrong with this Y/N, don’t put the blame on me”.

“I won’t, thank you Klaus”, you responded.

Following him eagerly down the stairs to where Derek was seated patiently waiting for your return, the butterflies were starting to flutter. Asking Klaus to do this was the hard part, now all that was left was Derek’s answer.

“Everything okay?” Derek asked, getting up from his chair.

“Yes, well it depends on how this conversation goes” you replied, he looked back and forth from Klaus to you not sure what was going on.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

Klaus stepped forward, clearly wanting to move this along faster than it was. “It means that dear Y/N has a offer for you to consider. And if you choose to take it, then you’ll be more stronger, powerful, a equal”.

You gave Klaus a look that told him to allow you to deliver the news, “Derek we’ve been through a lot. And through it all we found a connection, that’s something that I don’t want to lose. But one day I will, because I’m immortal-”.

“And I’m not”, Derek said finishing off your sentence for you.

“No, your not. But you could be, all you have to do is say yes and Klaus will give you the bite. Then we can be immortal together, and I won’t have to fear losing you”. Touching his face, his emotions were certainly reaching a peak that you could feel.

“So what’s it going to be Derek?” Klaus and Derek stared at one another, the anticipation was rising.

Derek swallowed the lump in his throat, with a sure expression he said. “Do it”

And that’s exactly what Klaus did, he gave his blood to Derek to drink and snapped his neck. The next few minutes were the longest ever in your entire immortal life, holding Derek’s hand you were waiting for him to wake up.

“Why is it taking so long for him to wake up!” you were anxious, that couldn’t be hidden.

“Turning someone into a hybrid isn’t a piece of cake Y/N, give it time” Klaus retorted back.

Derek gasped for air, looking panicked. “Hey, hey it’s okay. Your okay Derek” you reassured him.

“Did it work?” he asked.

“You tell us” Klaus said.

Derek concentrated and his face changed similar to how Klaus did, eyes went yellow and he bore fangs. “It worked” you whispered, a sigh of relief washed over you.

His face returned back to normal, and the two of you hugged. Happily ever after for you and Derek was only just beginning.



• doesn’t ran out of words

• you guys are basically dumb and dumber

• “what is this?” “i know right.”

• doesn’t do assignments

• “can i please copy your assignment??”

• gets scolded a lot for being noisy

• can’t stay still in his seat (kepts on changing his position)

• “ouch!” “what?” “PAPER CUTS!!!”

• whiny seatmate (probably after ten)


• your day is not complete without a talkative smiley doyoung

• basically your mood maker

• “CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOUUUU–” /voice cracks

• you can’t resist to look at his side profile since damn that jawline tho (he needs to eat more tbh)

• imitates every teacher

• curses at times

• “how the f do you even solve this?”

• lays on the floor during physical education

• “im tired, help me up” “help yourself up dork”

• gets sick pretty quick

• “ACHOO!” “oops, sorry.” *sniffles*

• he’s always there for you since he’s just a little sunshine

Today I realised how much Carmilla actually has impacted my life.

So, I always say to people, “Oh carmilla is my life omg i cant live without it” or “I swear this show will be the death of me” But today after a whole lot of thinking and reflecting after a very sad episode I have realised how this show, and each individual character has made a really positive impact on my life and the way I live each day.  

From Danny, i’ve learnt that i should fight until the death, no matter what it does to me for things/ people I love and care about and that I should not be scared or afraid 

From Laura, i’ve learnt that sometimes to find your hero, you need to become one yourself and that stepping up to help is a good choice no matter the outcome because it means you’ve done whoever you were helping justice

From Laf, i’ve learnt that being yourself should not be changed for anyone and that wE DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR THE WEIRD we just embrace it because the weird is good, and also to always look for the positive in negative situations, even if that means cracking a joke at the most inappropriate of times <3 ( *hugs* kbearluna )

From Perry, i’ve learnt that somethings are more important than wether you can win, and that sometimes you just have to stand up anyway. And also to be (reasonably) normal! 

And finally from Carm. i’ve learnt that I should stand for what i believe in and not be affraid to speak my mind and that family always comes first (unless its an evil vampire mum who wants to kill everyone) and that love comes in many different forms. (thanks natvanlis <3 )

So thank you, carmillaseries, maybeest, hotladypants and anamatics because the characters (and actors/actresses) in this amazing webseries have impacted me and changed/moulded me from the depressed, shaken up/ really scared to do or say anything or to stand up for myself at all, constantly anxious person into the strong, more self aware and positive person I am today. 

I honestly, cant thank you enough. 

guys i realize that people dont post about the good things because its hard not to sound braggy but holy shit i need to fill you in on things

  • i’m at this stage in my life where my hobbies are my job???
  • like pls do not get me wrong im under constant financial strife because I live in like the second most expensive city in the country and have so many expenses you cant even imagine
  • but guys
  • like i work in theater AND film AND activism and idk how i fucking pulled this off
    • yesidoidontsleepidontstopinevergiveupimnotthrowingawaymyshot
  • but holy shit!!!
  • also like almost all of my friends in NYC are ladies which is like such a major first for me and I AM SO HAPPY AND FULFILLED AND HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL SISTERHOOD and just lady power and positive lady vibes from so many incredible women???? Like girls are so fucking powerful and great?!!!
  • and i really like my dentist this is a big deal redalertredalerts
  • so yeah half of my meals are black beans and rice but who cares??
  • and i barely sleep but who cares???