you cant be bitches about that

some1: warning the deadpool movie is bad it has violent themes!

me: its rated R

some1: it has rape jokes

me: idek if thats true but its rated R

some1: it has a gross puke scene

me: its rated R

some1: its very sexual stay safe!!

me: it is literally RATED R WTF DID YOU EXPECT IT’S RATED R


now stop trying to be all fking “PC” over a fking rated R movie , you wet cottonball

People can talk as much shit as they want about how “5SOS owes all of their success to 1D” but let’s remember that One Direction wouldn’t be a group without the help of a TV show. If the X-Factor didn’t exist then the guys of One Direction would be unkown and 5SOS would STILL be a band and making it big. 

The Signs and What They Probably Say/Do in a Fight
  • Aries: bITCH *slams fist on table, flips open switchblade*
  • Taurus: lalalala i cant hear you
  • Gemini: lmao i wanna see the rECEIPTS
  • Cancer: *30 minute speech about how attacked they are feeling*
  • Leo: *unleashes a nuclear rage*
  • Virgo: hAHAHAHAhaaAhaaA
  • Libra: why are you like this
  • Scorpio: *literally will cut you so deep no one is safe*
  • Sagittarius: WHAT !!! THE FUCK ARE YOU!!! SAYING!
  • Capricorn: too bad ur wrong..
  • Aquarius: lmaolMAOlmAOLmaooOoOoOO
  • Pisces: bitch what
dear some of the 5sos fam,

please know that:

  • they are allowed to date whoever the fuck they want
  • they are allowed to drink
  • they are allowed to party
  • they are allowed to hook up with girls
  • they are allowed to have their personal lives
  • they are allowed to go out without taking photos

i cannot stress how annoying some of the 5sos fans are. y’all need a serious reality check, you are not going to marry the boys so don’t act like you are. Ashton can date whoever the fuck he wants because he’s ALLOWED to. you don’t know Bryana personally to know what she’s like, you all have just seen a video from three years ago. don’t go around on twitter telling ashton to break up with her or dont start hating on her instagram. IF she is a bitch then oh well, we cant do anything about it. hopefully ashton will realise and learn a lesson not to date girls like her (if she IS, im not saying she is). ashton can think for his own, he doesnt need a bunch of 13 year old girls telling him what to do.

and right now, ashton looks hella happy with his life so dont start shit. he deserves to be happy . thank you 

♡ random bios ♡
  • credits to iconsftyou if use or save
  • dont stole them or claim as yours
  • be cool and give credits

i just hate mondays

ignored by my idols all day all night

just wreck me 

all i wanna do was break your walls

the worst thing about your lies were that they made me feel loved 

2 sassy 4 you

i just really wanna be alone

not really sure how i feel about you, something in the way you move make me feel like i cant live without 

cool story bro

im a boss as bitch bitch bitch

we dont like “anal sex” in barbie.com, try again!

im so prada you are so crocs

if u dont have pizza i dont know what your doing here

i dont care i love it 

hi stalker

maybe ok will be our always 

but you are perfect to me

shes lost control

my pu$$y taste like pepsi cola

but i wish i was dead

everytime i close my eyes is like a dark paradise

victoria tell me your secret

its not a bad day, its a bad life

bad boys, good lips

only god can judge us 

who need friends when u have vodka?

its 11:11 make a wish

its my mouth i can say what i want to

no because you suck

im electra heart

dont be gucci be yourself

santa, where is my idol under the christmas tree?

hate me, dont hate my idol

let me live that fantasy

cause we were born to die

leave me alone

dont make me sad, dont make me cry

i broke a million hearts just for fun

  • CREDITS IF USE OR SAVE TO ICONSFTYOU
  • DONT STOLE THEM OR CLAIM AS YOURS
  • BE COOL MAN.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Chiron’s school, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Trojans, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top archer in the entire Myrmidon army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the battlefield? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Greece and your whereabouts are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Vulcan’s Olympian Forge and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
—  Achilles to Agamemnon, Iliad 1.
Harry Potter rated by appearances of Snape
  • philosopher’s stone: too much. 2/10.
  • chamber of secrets: “…an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don’t mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy — however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see”..."Snape looked murderous." SHOOK. 7/10.
  • prisoner of azkaban: fuck this bitch. “Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly.” Snape terrifies Neville so much that his Boggart takes the form of Snape. also reveals Lupin is a werewolf to the entire school and effectively ruins any shred of happiness my sweet child had. -100/10.
  • goblet of fire: besides his strangely intimate (and dare i say, erotic) conversations with Karkaroff like ??? 6/10.
  • order of the phoenix: just a huge fucking dick. goads Sirius constantly, makes fun of Harry when he witnesses Harry’s personal and sometimes traumatic memories during Occlumency lessons, calls his best friend an incredibly offensive slur. 3/10.
  • half blood prince: literally this book is named after him. 0/10.
  • deathly hallows: HE DEAD !!!! 100000000000000000000/10
  • cursed child: the fuck ??? “I know you’re a good man. Harry Potter told his son you’re a great man.” “Thank you for being my light in the darkness” “Snape looks at him, every inch a hero, he softly smiles” -59857298109033/10
Hamilton's writing process
  • Hamilton: (yeah)
  • Hamilton: (yeah)
  • Hamilton: (droppin everything today)
  • Hamilton: (making it rain)
  • Hamilton: (precipitatin straight up mayhem)
  • Hamilton: (HELLS of weather patterns closing in)
  • Hamilton: (inanimate shit be slippin from my mitts)
  • Hamilton: (my digits cant commit to a legitimate grip)
  • Hamilton: (wait)
  • Hamilton: (nah ima start over)
  • Hamilton: (feel this flow out a lil more)
  • Hamilton: (about how im droppin things today)
  • Hamilton: (just left and right)
  • Hamilton: (things of all shapes sizes and dubious metaphorical merit)
  • Hamilton: (things aint even being held)
  • Hamilton: (by chumps who cant be assed to show up)
  • Hamilton: (droppin shit on yo BEHALF)
  • Hamilton: (you name it)
  • Hamilton: (ima let it go)
  • Hamilton: (drop it like a frivolous lawsuit)
  • Hamilton: (oh snap)
  • Hamilton: (get out of my courtroom bitch)
  • Hamilton: (WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY YO)

Elementary School Bus Driver: *Drops you off right in front of your door and waits to make sure you get inside safely*

Middle School Bus Driver: *Drops you off at the end of your street and sometimes takes you closer if its raining*

High School Bus Driver: *Opens bus door while speeding down the highway about a mile from your neighborhood*  tuck and roll bitch

can you imagine being at a party and seeing That couple. You know the one. dude always looks like yahtzee croshaw if he didnt shower for 4 years. girl always looks like communismkills but with those ugly glasses and like. dried out hair with her roots on full display. they already talking about lol or wow so you know, you Know you have to get out of the circle you standin in with them around the bookshelf. then they start talking about how they were kinkshamed at a disney store. Then you notice the bitch was wearing a collar the entire time. you start sweatin. Heavy. you cant find any of your friends. not even a friend of a friend. you just gotta stand there, or else you know they gonna start some shit. And then they start talking about how when trumps president the sjws will be silenced. your entire life flashes by and your brain flash boils

  • Men: haha, we're having a GIRL so obviously everything has to be PINK. Room is pink, toys are pink, clothes are pink, everything!! PINK!! FEMININE! COOKING! DOLLS! FASHION! MAKEUP! PRETEND BABIES! NO YOU CANT CUT YOUR HAIR WHAT ARE YOU A BOY?? GET TO THE KITCHEN!! LONG HAIR! SHAVE YOUR LEGS! WEAR DRESSES! FEEEEMMMMIINNINNEEEE!!! GIRLS HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS!
  • Girls: *grow up caring a lot about their appearance* *wear makeup, talk about fashion, paint their nails, have long hair, read magazines*
  • Men: LOL women are such high maintenance self absorbed bitches. Men are so superior because they don't care about their looks.
  • Feminists: um you know that girls are raised to do these exact things and are mocked, sometimes abused, when they don--
  • Men: DONT BLAME US!! ITS NOT OUR FAULT YOURE SO INSECURE!!! THATS YOUR OWN PROBLEM!!! CUNT!

I understand all the fat-positive blogs and posts and stuff but it pisses me off that people can think my issues can be washed away with “ omg no youre beautiful” like bitch please you cant talk about how fat positive you are and turn around and say “sorry i dont date fat people” and saying “im ugly because i gain weight” while youre half my damn size. 

ive been dealing with people degrading me to “cute” all my fucking life because fat can’t be the same sexy you see in magazines.

im tired of seeing bs “omg perfect!!” on fat cosplays because you fucking know its just assholes trying to sound nice.

  • mickey(to his dad): fuck you, don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy? We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it! Fuck you! I suck his dick, and I fucking love it! Fuck you! FUCK YOU!
  • me: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my gAWD
  • brain: you've watched this seven hundred times already
  • me: so beautiful
  • me: okay that was nice. time to do something productive now
  • me: or...
  • me: *rewinds*
  • mickey: fuck you don't worry about it!
  • me: nice
real panic fact #12

the reason the song titles from A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out are so long is because former bassist Ryan Ross (a known prankster in the band) would put secret messages in the titles. For instance in track 3, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines, if you take out all of these letters:

London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines

and unscramble the remaining letters, you are left with the phrase ‘Swag Bitches.’ This was Ross’s collective pet name for the other members of the band.