you cant be bitches about that

Harry Potter rated by appearances of Snape
  • philosopher’s stone: too much. 2/10.
  • chamber of secrets: “…an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don’t mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy — however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see”..."Snape looked murderous." SHOOK. 7/10.
  • prisoner of azkaban: fuck this bitch. “Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly.” Snape terrifies Neville so much that his Boggart takes the form of Snape. also reveals Lupin is a werewolf to the entire school and effectively ruins any shred of happiness my sweet child had. -100/10.
  • goblet of fire: besides his strangely intimate (and dare i say, erotic) conversations with Karkaroff like ??? 6/10.
  • order of the phoenix: just a huge fucking dick. goads Sirius constantly, makes fun of Harry when he witnesses Harry’s personal and sometimes traumatic memories during Occlumency lessons, calls his best friend an incredibly offensive slur. 3/10.
  • half blood prince: literally this book is named after him. 0/10.
  • deathly hallows: HE DEAD !!!! 100000000000000000000/10
  • cursed child: the fuck ??? “I know you’re a good man. Harry Potter told his son you’re a great man.” “Thank you for being my light in the darkness” “Snape looks at him, every inch a hero, he softly smiles” -59857298109033/10

Motherfucking Antisepticeye Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfucking glitching bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit Goddamn person who thought of bringing the glitch bitch into our lives goddamn all in our face fucking shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Antisepticeye man Motherfucking neon green tennis ball head shit you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking cut his own throat with his bare hands and fucking green hair shit Antisepticeye I’m very tired No man I’ll just talk about the glitch son thing all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the glitch thing fuck dude I just saw it a year and a half ago fuck Antisepticeye man he fucked over his fan base with all these glitches and that video man and shit man or did the theories fuck this guy who thought of the glitching shit I don’t like glitches I cant think of who the fuck thought of the glitches and shit all I can think of is the video where the guy thought of the glitches and shit who the fuck thought of the glitching and shit


Hinny vs. Drarry #6
  • Harry and Ginny: *December 1st*
  • Ginny: Oh, my dear! I have here a gingerbread man, made of support and care! Bring it close to your heart, and bring with you always!!!
  • Harry: But what about when it gets all yucky and gross.
  • Ginny:
  • Harry: What then Ginny.
  • vs.
  • Harry and Draco: *December 1st*
  • Harry: Why did I introduce you to Muggle music.

I always say Im a sadist but actually theres another sadist that got me begging. My brain.

Brain: Lol “bang” by @mysticdaddies is cute
Me: Yes
Brain: Draw a fanart must be fun
Me: Sure, but I need…
Brain: Do it
Me: No, my sleep
Brain: Just do it
Me: NO
Brain: Thats a new way to say yes
Me: No thats a NO

So yesterday I got up at 3 am to draw Bang fanart, which has already been updated today lol.

lana runs this bitch

i cant believe C$ers are MAD that Lana liked a post about SQ. Like its a show. These characters are FAKE. C$ is not real. Lana doesnt have a contract saying that she has to act like everything on the show is real, because its not. Im so sorry to all of the fans who really got aggravated with this, because its not swens fault, nor is it Lana’s that you guys started spreading rumors and saying Jen was sleeping with Colin, and made Jen feel as if she had to stay 50ft away from all shippers. If you haven’t realized, swen doesnt get a lot (unless Lana is involved). You guys think we’re delusional and Lana is baiting us with every chance she gets. If thats sooo true, Lana liking a post about SQ shouldn’t bother you…unless you feel your ship is threatened by it. And thats not a valid reason for you to start tweeting Adam to fire Lana. You do realize without her the show would be in an even worse place than it is right now…like Hook cannot run the show lol the episode last week purely proved that.

i’m so sorry everyone. thank you to everyone who defended me but i have to admit that i was in the wrong. it was so wrong of me, a 17 year old grown adult to threaten a 30/40 year old manchild like that. its my fault and i apologise. there is a very obvious difference in maturity and power here and i was in the wrong for taking advantage of it like that. i cant believe how much my words could hurt a professional marvel comics writer… i wasnt thinking about the ramifications of my actions. nick spencer, if you’re reading this, i’m sorry. truly, i am. im sorry you’re such a pwussy ass bitch

you know people can sit there and bitch about the acting and special effects all they want but never have I seen a show treat a bisexual and gay man as well as shadowhunters. season one gave them just as much, if not more, screen time as a heterosexual couple, gave them a beautiful storyline and an episode dedicated to them both as characters and a couple and a fucking amazing first kiss. and now in season two we already have them talking about their issues; a kiss in the second episode and more than one more to come as well as hand holding, hugging and a possible sex scene and I’m just so overwhelmed I love this show so much for this.

some1: warning the deadpool movie is bad it has violent themes!

me: its rated R

some1: it has rape jokes

me: idek if thats true but its rated R

some1: it has a gross puke scene

me: its rated R

some1: its very sexual stay safe!!


now stop trying to be all fking “PC” over a fking rated R movie , you wet cottonball

All To Myself - James March x Reader

REQUESTED:  Reader is killed by her abusive bf in the hotel after he said “if I cant have U no one can” but reader had an affair with James who showed up thanking the guy for allowing him to have her for all eternity and killing him. Reader didn’t know :3 - @ambrissis


“You fucking bitch!“

You cowered in the corner, your boyfriend coming closer, throwing furniture around the room.

"You thought I wouldn’t find out? Who is he?” He screamed.

Keep reading

Signs as texts my little sister (Cancer) has sent me


Taurus: Im having bad cramps and I had my legs up on a chair that was infront of me and some kid pulled the chair and sat in front of me girl I was about to throw him the apple I was eating


Cancer: I’m so sensitive today omg I almost cried 10 min ago bc I asked this kid if he had the color blue-violet but he interrupted me saying “no I dont” all annoyed. *crying emoji*



Libra: Ok, I’ll make a youtube, get famous, meet an idol, make a sex-tape and we’ll be the Mexican Kardashians

Scorpio: my friend said that I look like an innocent lil girl but I would murder someone for assuming that

Sagittarius: *spamming pictures of kpop boys and calling them daddy*


Aquarius: Omg in art some guy that was suppose to draw me drew me liek the doll from saw


A few of my pet peeves

-people chewing with their mouth open
-people chewing loudly
-people chewing
-unneeded het romances during fucken zombie apocolaype like!!! THERE ARE FUCKIN ZOMBIES AT THE DOOR ARE YOU REALLY ABOUT TO CONFESS YOUR LOVE AND FUCK?!! Like might as well fuck when you’re zombies BCOS THATS ABOUT TO FUCKEN HAPPEN
-music videos that literally have nothing to do with the fucking song
-unneeded comments about someone’s gender like if I say “I like that persons purse” and you pull some shit like “that person??? You mean that man woman?? What’s their gender??? If they are a boy they cant have a purse!!! I can’t wrap my tiny little brain around this!!!”
-white “feminism”
-literally any other type of “feminism” that isn’t inclusive
-old bitches bitching about political correctness like “what do you mean I can’t openly use ableist language and offend people??? Let me live!!!”
-“Christians” that call themselves Christians and will go on all day about how “if Muslims are actually good people then why aren’t they standing up to ISIS???” But have never had a conversation about the KKK or Neo-Nazis or the Westboro Baptist Church in their lives or how the majority of the people ISIS has attacked were Muslims!!!! And you bitches have the audacity to make it about yourselves!! Fuck outta here with that bullshit
-Baptists who pretend like being gay means you must hate them when their entire religion is just based on Jesus telling us to love one another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is that????
-people getting offended when I say “Jesus Christ” when I fucking stub my toe
-people being surprised when I say I’m a pansexual feminist AND I’m religious like that’s so crazy to believe???
-people complimenting my makeup skills in the same breath they tell me how surprised they are that I’m a science major??? Beauty and Brains are not separate!!! False lashes don’t keep me from reading!!! Bomb ass fucking nails and a snatched contour don’t keep me from doing calculus!!

yaxxm  asked:


this bitch will talk endlessly with you about aus and then just,,, drop off the face of the earth like it was all some wild dream. they might even make some art about it too, that being the only reminder that your conversations existed. hella stressed and sad sometimes and honestly it’s the worst i just wanna fist fight all their problems can i FUCKING CANT. really cute art like how. fucking. dare. 

Four's a crowd but five is a miracle

AN: You’re Alec’s best friend and you get called back to the New York institute to find your friends in ruin.
Characters: Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood, Jace Lightwood, Clary Fairchild
Pairings: Alec x Jace, Alec x Magnus
Spoilers: None
Warnings: self-harm (punching walls)
Prompt: “If we cant write Alec as straight, we might as well not write about him at all! Would you rly rather have noone write abt Alec than have us write him with a girl? Bitch he straight as hell, get over it!”

So, yeah, this is a bit of a spite story, but I actually kind of liked writing it. I really really like writing these characters. Also, I’m super not tryna start anything, write about whatever you want, I would just prefer writing Alec as gay myself.

It’s my first Shadowhunters piece, so let me know what you think?

*Set before Lydia but after the memory demon*


The silence seemed to expand between the band of shadowhunters, replacing years of love and laughter with tense looks and irritated snaps. Isabelle Lightwood was at a loss. Everywhere she looked, she saw signs of her brothers decaying, wearing on each other, destroying the bonds that had once kept them so close, and she had no idea what to do.

Sighing, she brushed her fingers over the photo stuck to her mirror.
Your smiling face brought back so many memories, so many good days and sunny afternoons and starlit nights; so many adrenaline filled hunts and heart wrenching injuries, but despite all of that, lots of love. When you had been there, there had always been love.

“Why did you leave Y/N/N?” She asked her photo, “We need you.”

Just then she heard a solid thump, the sound of her brother, Alec slamming his fist into his bedroom wall and, further away, the sound of Jace violently attacking the punching bag.

She sighed again, “Now more than ever.”


Alec fumed, his stomach rolling with a toxic mixture of hatred, anger, rejection, confusion and pain. He knew he was being irrational, he knew that his feelings demanded to be dealt with and he knew, logically, that if he wanted to, he could talk to Izzy, or Jace, hell he could probably even talk to Clary.

He couldn’t do that though. Speaking about his feelings would make them real, once the words had left his lips, he would have to act on them and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet.

His fist collided with the wall with a resounding thump. The physical pain was a welcome distraction from the emotional turmoil that stalked his every movement.

The punching had started just over a year earlier, when his thoughts were a constant flood of blonde hair and sculpted cheekbones and multi-coloured eyes. Back then it would happen once or twice a month but, these days; his knuckles were almost always bruised and bloody, not that anyone seemed to notice.

“Alec,” Izzy called from her room, “Alec, please.”

Alec paused, breathing heavily through his nosed and biting down on his back teeth to stop himself from crying out.

“Alec,” Izzy said again, gently, her voice shaking, “talk to me big brother.”

Alec closed his eyes, pressing his sweaty forehead to the cool cement wall. He knew Izzy was hurting, but so was he! Wasn’t he allowed to hurt too?

The boy’s thoughts turned to you. He ached with longing to have you with him again. You would understand; you would know what to do; you would be able to tell him, to help him understand why this was happening to him.

He sighed, closing his eyes. You were gone and, in his world, people didn’t come back.

Alec Lightwood took a deep breath and lined up his fist once more.


His knuckles split again.


“Jace, are you and Alec okay?” Clary asked as she watched Jace train.

He seemed off, less in control than usual, real anger and frustration driving his punches as opposed to obligation.

Jace snorted, but kept his eyes trained on the punching bag, “Fine. Why?”

Clary shrugged, “You just seem…”

“What?” Jace asked angrily, turning to face the girl, “Just seem what Clary?”

“Upset.” She finished quietly, shrinking back into herself.

Jace ran a hand through his long blonde hair, trying to calm himself.

“Alec is my best friend Clary; he’s my parabatai, the closest person in the world to me. Whatever this is, it’ll pass.” He assured her.

He hoped so. By the angel, he hoped so.


Clary tried to gauge the atmosphere between the three shadowhunters as they sat together, discussing what their next step should be. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew something was off. Something was breaking and she had no idea how to fix it. Even worse, she had a sneaking suspicion that she was the one breaking it.

Somewhere on a monitor, a red light began to flash, just a hopeful little light that was almost missed by the people that needed it.

“Hold on,” Alec said, “that’s really weird.”

“What?” Izzy asked.

“Someone’s coming into the institute.” Jace told her, moving to inspect the screen.

“Don’t you guys have wards and stuff to stop that from happening?” Clary asked.

Alec shook his head, “The wards keep out demons, mundanes and downworlders, but this person has angel blood.”

“That’s-that’s a good thing, right?” Clary asked, “It means they’re a shadowhunter.”

“Theoretically, yes.” Izzy replied.

“Realistically, well, Valentine is a shadowhunter too.” Jace finished.

“So what’s our move?” Clary questioned.

Alec shrugged, “Be prepared for anything.”

The next few seconds were tense. No one really knew what to do, so they just…waited. Just when Clary thought that no one was going to arrive, the door blew open and the autumn air carried in someone Clary didn’t recognise.
However, the change in her companions’ mood was immediate. A groan slipped from Alec’s lips and his bow clattered to the floor. The boy flew forward, wrapping the new arrival in the biggest embrace she’d ever seen from the reserved boy. Crisp, clear laughter filled the air and Clary looked to Jace for an explanation.

The blonde boy’s eyes were wide and watering with disbelief. He moved forward as if still dreaming, ignoring the curious red head’s look.

“Jace!” you cheered, “Oh my God, look at you!”

“Isabelle,” Clary whispered, “what’s going on? Who is that?”

Isabelle Lightwood smiled, peace and hope for their family invading her heart again, “It’s Y/N.” she explained, “She came home.”

And, with that, Izzy ran to embrace her long lost sister.


You were home, after what felt like a century, and by the angel it felt good. For so long now you’d felt lost, as though you’d been floating through the ocean without an anchor, just hoping to arrive home somehow.

And now, you were here, surrounded by the three people you loved most in the world, people who you’d missed desperately every single day for more than a year. You’d had nightmares about coming back, only to find that one of them had died or been mortally wounded, or to find them hating you so, to be enveloped in Alec’s arms again exceeded any of your expectation.

“You’re back,” Alec sobbed into your shoulder, “by the angel, it’s really you.”

“It’s me,” you laughed, your own eyes misting up with emotion, “I’m home. I missed you so much.”

Over Alec’s shoulder you spotted him, his uniquely gorgeous eyes boring into yours and your heart jumped again.

“Jace!” You cheered, reaching your hand out to brush his face.

With a graceful movement, he captured it and pressed your palm against his warm lips. He was just so relieved to see you standing there, alive and healthy and, seemingly, happy to be back.

“Alec, I need to breath.” You laughed at the boy.

“No you don’t,” he retorted, “you had more than enough time to breathe while you were gone.”

“Alec.” You started, “Off. Now.”

Alec sighed jokingly, “Fine.”

You took a deep breath, “That’s better. Now get over here Iz.” You smiled, pulling Alec’s sister against you and squeezing you tight.

“You have no idea how much we needed this Y/N.” Isabelle whispered into your ear, “Everything’s gone to hell. Jace and Alec…I think they’re killing each other.”

You raised your eyebrows, your stomach dropping to your feet.

“Don’t you worry,” you assured the younger girl, “I’ll do whatever I can.”

You looked at the boys you thought of as your family, wondering what on earth had happened to them since you’d left and hoping against hope that you weren’t too late.


“So,” you started gently, “What’ve I missed?”

You’d been sitting in Alec’s room, reading quietly and basking in being near each other after so long apart for nearly two hours, trying to find a way to address the thoughts buzzing around in your mind.

Alec shrugged, resting his head on your shoulder to try and avoid your eyes. You knew him better than any other human on earth, better than he knew himself sometimes and, for now, he just wanted to enjoy having you back.

“Come on Al, I know something’s wrong.” You pushed softly, “You can talk to me.”

Alec shook his head, “Not with this.”

You turned to face the boy and, in the process, brushed your best friend’s hands. The boy winced, but instantly tried to hide his pain. You frowned, your heart beating faster as you imagined what could be bugging Alec to the point of him not being able to tell you.

Seeing the look on your face, Alec began to backtrack, “It’s nothing, just stiff from training.” You reached for his hands and he pulled them away, “Really Y/N, it’s nothing.”

You grabbed his hands, gasping when your eyes landed on the purple bruises and crimson scabs adorning his knuckles.

“Alec-“ you started, your voice breaking with emotion.

He pulled his hands out of your grasp, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat.

“What happened?” You asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alec shrugged, feeling the warm saltwater tears building behind his eyes again.

“You weren’t here Y/N. How could I tell you if you weren’t here?”

You nodded, a grim certainty that you would carry this guilt with you for the rest of your life settling onto your soul.

You opened your mouth, uncertain as to whether or not you should say what you were beginning to suspect.

Alec smiled grimly, “Y/N Penhallow, I know that look.” He touched your arm, “What’re you thinking?”

You pressed your lips together, “Is this about Jace? Is this what’s tearing you two apart?”

Alec kept quiet, the confusion and anger rearing it’s head again. He wanted to punch the feeling away, but this was you, this was someone who cared about him. Maybe you would understand.

“I don’t know why he means so much to me.” Alec admitted.

You nodded, pulling your best friend into a tight hug, “There’s no shame in that Alec. There’s absolutely no shame in feeling something for someone.”

“But he’s-“ Alec started.

“Alec.” You said, putting your hands on his shoulders, “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

Alec paused. There the word was, hanging in the air for the first time instead of bouncing around in Alec’s head like a killer wasp. Hearing you say it made Alec feel like a little bit of the weight pressing on his chest had alleviated.

“You’re gay.” He reiterated in a last ditch attempt to push the reality away.

You shrugged, smiling sadly at your friend, “Kinda, I prefer the term bisexual, but whatever makes you happy dude.”

Alec laughed weakly; feeling years of fight slowly seep out of his skin. This was what he’d been waiting for, someone to just sit him down and tell him the truth that had been sitting on his lips for his whole life. He had needed to know that it wouldn’t be a surprise, that it wouldn’t change the way these people saw him.

Alec took a deep breath, letting all his anger float away into the afternoon air.

“Y/N?” he said.

“Alec.” You answered.

“I’m gay.” He admitted, laughing as he wiped away his tears.

Alec Lightwood was gay. The crushing weight lifted, not entirely, but enough to make Alec laugh incredulously. He felt almost dizzy with relief as he pressed his lips to your cheek, so grateful to have you back, and to finally be free. Finally, Alec Lightwood could be himself.

“You know what I’m gonna do?” Alec asked you.

“What babe?”

“I’m gonna call Magnus Bane.”


Jace swung his seraph blade slowly through the air, practicing his form and trying to control the flood of thoughts that threatened to drown him. Seeing you had made him feel things, things he didn’t know he was capable of anymore, things he hadn’t even realised he’d closed himself off from.

You leant against the doorway, watching Jace and wondering how to approach this discussion. When you’d left, you and Jace had been on uncertain terms but you’d missed him, by the angel you’d missed him.

“Hey there pretty boy,” you called, “are you practicing because you know I’m gonna whoop you or just for fun?”

Jace smiled, “You? Whoop me? Funny Y/N.”

The boy pulled you into a hug, breathing in the raspberry and coconut scent of your hair.

“How’ve you been?” You asked, grateful for the lack of games between you two, “Izzy said you and Alec have been…weird.”

Jace sighed, “Alec’s been weird, I’ve been normal.”

“So abandoning Alec and Izzy to chase after a girl you’ve just met is normal to you? Because that wasn’t how it worked when I was around.”

“Yeah well you haven’t been around for a while, have you?” Jace snapped back.

You sighed, and Jace’s face softened.

“Listen, I’m s-“

“No,” you interrupted, “you’re right. I’m just worried about you, that’s all. You and Alec have always been so…together. I can’t imagine a world where you two aren’t together.”

“Where were you?” Jace asked, “Why did you leave”

You looked down, opening and closing your mouth like a goldfish.

“Please Y/N, I need to know.”

You nodded, “I-uh I went to the Madrid Institute. I worked there for a while.”

“Why?” Jace pressed.

“Because I-“ you started, “I didn’t want things to change! You and I were-well-what you and I were, Alec was all lost and confused, Izzy was acting out.” You paused, “I thought that, if I left, the problems would go away.”

Jace shook his head, “If you didn’t want to be with me then-“

“You know that’s not it Jace. Alec is my best friend, yours too. It would’ve killed him and you know it.”

“I know Y/N, I just-I just really really missed you.”

Slowly, he took your hand and kissed your palm again, his eyes sending butterflies through your stomach.

“I missed you too Jace.” You admitted, cupping his cheek softly.

“Can we, maybe, start again?” he asked.

You nodded, “Maybe.”


Clary was confused. She had heard mentions of you throughout the institute, little bit of memorabilia still littered the training room, the library, the observatory and even Jace’s bedroom but everyone seemed hesitant to talk about you, or why you’d left.

A faint knock sounded on Clary’s door and she called for the knocker to come in, assuming it was either Jace or Izzy.

“Hey Clary.” You said, your voice smooth like melted chocolate to her ears.

“Oh, Y/N, hi.” Clary replied, jumping up to shake your hand.

“I thought I’d introduce myself,” You smiled, “and apologise for all that craziness when I arrived. I haven’t seen my friends in a really, really long time.”

You put the red headed girl at ease almost instantly, and Clary suddenly felt stupid about worrying about you.

“It’s okay, I totally understand.” She assured you, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart against her fragile ribcage.

You were beautiful. Everything about you seemed to add to the light that you omitted, making it almost impossible for Clary to tear her eyes away from your face.

“I also just wanted to make sure that you weren’t blaming yourself for all the tension between Alec and Jace. This storm has been brewing since we were kids, you just happened to be the catalyst for it to begin.”

Clary smiled, relief spreading through her, “Really?”

“Really.” You smiled, “I’m going to train for a bit, do you want to come?”

“Sure!” Clary agreed quickly.

This was it, she realised as you walked together. You were what they needed to fix them.


So ya bitch absolutely forgot about blackout. So happy late blackout. My black is beautiful, My knowledge is infinite, and my “glo up” was real. This is just my way of saying I didn’t use to feel beautiful or see my worth. Now that I do you cant tell me shit. I’m beautiful by my own standards and I slay accordingly on every day God gives me. 😘💕

anonymous asked:

It never surprises me how self centered juliet is that she thinks people want her merch! Like bitch nobody knows who you are! Your not famous! No respectable person wants your plastic face on there shirt! Nobody notices you in the industry, nobody notices you online, nobody notices you when your out and about! UR a nobody! Put some REAL work into your hobby and maybe it'll turn into a career. You cant sit back and bitch and think you'll make it. Andys obsessed fans cant pay all your bills!