you cannot even begin to know

Divorce EASY????

I just had a reader snark at me and call divorce the easy way out.


Now, I’ve never been through a legal divorce.  Been in a quad and had members move out, so it was about as close to one as I’ve ever been through.


Ya know, for all that the breakup(s) was about as smooth and “grownup” as you could possibly expect, “easy” is not an adjective I would have used.  I cannot BEGIN to think of the legal and financial nightmare (even in the face of people behaving themselves) that would be a legal divorce.

Maybe I’m  wuss, but I don’t see a bad relationship staying together OR divorce as particularly easy.  Picking really compatible partners and having a good relationship genuinely seems easier.

Your identity is a slur

I’ve been really preoccupied mentally with this ‘queer is a slur’ thing going around. I’ve seen a lot of ppl explaining the histories behind queer and its reclamation by queer folks, but I wanted to riff a little bit about the reasons, for me, that reclamation makes sense as a reaction in the first place.

When I was a young gay, growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, I remember there being one slur I heard a lot that I don’t really hear anymore. I don’t know if this was just an Alabama thing, but pretty much every gay person I knew had heard or used this word at some point and lots of str8 folks used it too: flamer. 

It was short for ‘flamboyant’–used primarily to describe gay men. I cannot even begin to describe to you my loathing for this word. Not only did I just fundamentally think it sounded stupid, I hated that: (1) it was consistently used to gender-police gay men, because of course acting flamboyant was all about not being sufficiently masculine; (2) the idea that to be acceptable queer folks need to hide their queer ways and act like str8s is distasteful; (3) str8 ppl would sometimes mis-define by claiming that it was because “gay people would burn in hell”; (4) gay men used it against each other as much as str8 ppl used it against gay men.

One of my best friends back then was a guy named Josh. Big, cuddly, sweet, I-dare-you-to-no- love-this-guy Josh. There was nothing particularly effete about Josh’s appearance, but he was not remotely interested in the trappings of masculinity; one of his many affectionately given nick-names was “Spirit Sparkles.” Josh often referred to himself as a flamer–he took a lot of pride and pleasure in the term. Sometimes he would introduce himself that way to other gay kids we met. It was a really aggressive stance, because it flipped the tables on anyone who wanted to use the term pejoratively. 

What I mean to say is that in a situation where one person called another a flamer as a derogatory term, you’d have to pick the term apart and point out all the things wrong with it: “Hey, you shouldn’t use that word because it implies that there’s something wrong with acting gay and anyway how does someone act gay that doesn’t make any sense, and also it sort of implies that men who have feminine attributes are wrong and that’s gross.” On the other hand, to embrace the term was to signal that everything deemed ‘bad’ by its use as a slur was in fact a source of pride. Moreover, it put the other person in the position of having to say what was wrong with being flamboyant. In this way, this act of reclamation was a Gordian knot solution–rather than untangle the term, reclamation allowed Josh to cut through all the bullshit.

One of the persistent problems with terminology in the queer community is that there are no words for us that haven’t been at one time or another a slur because for an enormous chunk of our history in Western culture the dictionary definition of who we are was itself imbued with negativity. Even the word homosexual was a pathologized medical term for a psychological disorder until 1974. In this context, reclaiming slurs as markers of pride is one of the only courses of action open to us: and, in fact, this is one of the key concepts in Pride parades. They sprung up in the wake of the 1969 Christopher Street Riots as an explicit way of saying to str8 communities: these people you denigrate the most (drag queens, transgender individuals, POC) in the gay community are a source of pride for us. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re not going anywhere. 

My identity is a slur. What I do and what I am are offensive to people. I cannot escape this, but I can embrace it. I can take pride in the very aspects of myself that others find perverse. I can–and I do.

So last week, for the humble price of $17, I ordered a copy of the original script of The Room from Tommy Wiseau’s website, which was a thing I did not know existed until like… a week ago, and anyway, it came today.

I knew TW wouldn’t let this kind of thing get out the door without some kind of personal touch, but I had no idea just how far he’d go.

For those of you who might be having a tough time reading it, it says: “to: Kraig, May all your dreams come true, love: Tommy Wiseau.”

He even went so far as to date it, BUT WE’RE NOT DONE.

He also included a shirtless headshot as soon as you open the thing up.

And last but not least, a pair of underwear with his name emblazoned on the waistband.

I cannot even begin to process all of this but yeah if you ever want to get the original, even more absurd script of The Room now you know what you’re getting into.

10

Please don’t let anything happen to him.

The truth is, I have come undone in ways that you cannot begin to even imagine. My bones are only calcium and my teeth are not stars. They are ivory knives that pierce my tongue every time I speak your name. And what you don’t know is that someday galaxies I cannot control will form from the destruction you’ve left behind.
You. are. enough. You are ENOUGH. You are so enough you can’t even fathom it at this point. I love you. You are divinity, divinity in motion. Decide right now to be all that the entire Universe created you to be. You have nothing to prove. You are the most beautiful thing that’s ever been created. You are so infinite. I cannot even begin to articulate the love that exists inside you. You are not your past. You are not your conditioning. I know it’s been hard, but you’re not that. You matter.
Solas Taking Briala’s Eluvians

In the end conversation in Trespasser, Solas mentions having to override the magic of Briala’s eluvians personally. What if he did that at Halamshiral (Wicked Hearts quest)! During that quest, in the very beginning you talk to Cullen, he mentions Solas is already gone inside (if you listed Solas as one of the companions to take in) and you cannot find him until after the Halamshiral Introductions are done. When you do find him, he’s happy and slightly drunk.

I think he went in early while Briala is distracted with politics and took the eluvians then. She wouldn’t even know they were gone from her until after the party. And that meant the whole night was a success no matter what the Inquisitor does, though he’ll still care about that. Hence, the servants being happy to refill his glass. The servants who could also have been his spies even then. Briala would not want to admit their loss, so she’d keep it to herself.

This is how you know when you love her.


It might come slowly at first. You might not even realize it in the beginning; but it hits you eventually, maybe so strong that you can’t breathe for a moment, or maybe slowly and surely until your mind is filled to the brim with emotions you cannot find the words for. You will feel it in the way her skin trembles under the tips of your fingers when you run them across her arms, and the way she looks at you with eyes full of hope and desire and a million other things you can’t help but fall for. 


You’ll feel it in the way she holds your hand first when you’re alone together, her fingers timidly intertwining with yours then grasping them lightly when you hold onto them. You’ll feel it in the way she sometimes dozes off and lays her head on your shoulder, careful not to press too hard just in case you’ll be bothered. You’ll feel all the love surging through your blood when she sometimes catches you looking at her like she is the most beautiful girl in the room, and blood rises to her cheeks but she tries to cover it up. 


Those are all the beautiful moments when you’ll feel the love towards her. But you’ll also know that you’re in love when her eyes are flooded with tears that she cannot stop at 3am, and you’re the only person there to hold her close and kiss her hair. You’ll know it when she throws things out of anger at no place in particular then slam the door and refuse to come out for hours. You’ll know when she is sick and lonely and is lying in bed all day long without talking to you although you have so much to tell her about your day.


You’ll know it when you feel it - a sudden surge of love flowing through your blood is inextinguishable, unstoppable. A flutter of the heart, a trail of kisses, an entanglement of limbs; and that, is how you know when you love her.

—  how you know you love her // #2 in the ‘how’ series
2

WOW!

I cannot begin to thank you all enough for all of the love and support you have given me! This has been a crazy and wild ride and I can’t believe it! You have given me so much confidence and continue to inspire me each and every passing day. I wouldn’t be where I am now without you, so thank you!

I’ve said it before, but I truly have been blessed with the most kind, interesting, creative, talented and hilarious followers. I am so lucky to know you, even if anonymously. I look forward to your messages, your tags crack me up, your prompts give me ideas and insight I would have never thought of on my own, and you are the reason why I manage to draw everyday :) Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much!

okay but why does no one talk about how much of a masterpiece “Come Back, Be Here” is??? the lyrics are FANTASTIC

I told myself don’t get attatched, but in my mind I play it back spinning faster than the plane that took you” 

“this is falling in love in the cruelest way, this is falling for you when you are worlds away

and the one that really gets me “THE DELICATE BEGINNING RUSH THE FEELING YOU CAN KNOW SO MUCH WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING AT ALL” 

like are you kidding me THIS SONG IS TOO GOOD I CANNOT EVEN DEAL TAYLOR SLAYS ME

OH MY GODDDDDDDD so i just came back from watching xmen: apocalypse and TBH it was amazing?!?!?!? i was so overwhelmed??!?!?! AND STRESSED. i almost started crying randomly during not even an emotional scene because i just love the xmen so goddamn much. like the first 10 minutes i self-reflected and was like “ok there is no way the movie can be this good the whole 2.5 hours.” BUT IT WAS. IT TOTALLY WAS. DURING THE ENTIRE FILM I WAS ROTATING BETWEEN BITING MY NAILS, EATING MY HAIR, CLASPING MY HANDS OVER MY MOUTH AND MASSAGING MY TEMPLES LIKE let me tell you charles xavier was not the only person to become bald after all this

The Biggest Thank You

Hey everybody!

Given that I’ve been recovering from post-Rezzed conflu (it laid me out more than expected!), and rushing to get sick-leave video content up, it totally hit me by surprise today when I logged into YouTube and saw my subscriber count.

500,000 subscribers. Oh. My.

I can’t even begin to describe how I feel right now - frankly, I’m a bit shocked! I cannot believe that my channel has grown so fast (it’s not even a year old!). When I first started making videos, I genuinely didn’t expect such a welcoming reaction from you all - even though I know my Minecraft skills make you facepalm harder than Captain Picard! Your encouraging feedback on reddit, Twitter and YouTube, your amazing fan art (and fics!), the things you tell me when I meet you - all of this has made Yogscast Kim what it is today.

It struck me at Rezzed that I really do find this whole experience completely humbling; I’m just a girl who likes making gaming videos - some informative, and some not so! - and to have so many of you tune in and share in the laughs and the occasional tears just blows my mind. I am honestly speechless.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. If I had big enough arms, I’d hug every single one of you.

Big love,

Kim x

PS - On a side note, I do have a proper celebration video in the works, and all going well, it will be with you on Monday 14th April!

How Asexuals Experience Oppression

Before I begin, I just want to let the majority of my followers, who are writers and readers, know that I will be putting out a post tomorrow about including symbolism in your writing.

So a few Anons were insulted that I suggested asexuals could experience oppression (Could? They do!) because words themselves are oppressive. In order to back up my words, I did some research into the matter, because unless you actually are asexual, you cannot know the asexual experience.

Plus, apparently to these Anons, individual experiences don’t even matter. How damning is that? This is why I had to do research so that way I could back up the oppression aces can face.

Let us begin with a 2012 article I found on Psychology Today that discusses prejudice against asexuals. I will list pertinent quotes in bullets.

Reading this article made me mad because of the assumptions those Anons made about asexuals, one who was an asexual themselves! I’ve mostly come across oppressive words since I came out. Even so, where I live, many of my friends who are homosexuals have told me they’ve never come across any violence. Just oppressive words. Augusta, even though part of the Bible Belt, has an openly gay community with fervent allies who would stone you if you so much as uttered a slur. But I know there are plenty of people in the LGBTQ community who do experience violence. My point is that you can’t assume asexuals don’t experience violence because of their lack of sexuality. You naturally assume this because of the erasure we experience, so we’re not part of any discourse about violence toward sexual minorities.

Now on to the bullet points!

  • “It likely comes as no surprise that we do not know a great deal, scientifically, about asexuality, and we know even less about prejudices toward asexuals.” Because asexuals are such a tiny percentage, not much research has been done on our sexuality–or lack thereof, for that matter. So to those who felt insulted that I said we experience oppression, thank you for erasing us by denying our experiences because we are such a tiny minority where not much is known about us. Thank you. Thank you so much for that. You didn’t even realize you were doing it, but you did. And I am bitter because I received a lot of messages saying the same, tiresome thing.
  • “…humans have a tremendous “capacity” for outgroup dislike. After all, atheists and vegetarians/vegans are frequently targets of discrimination despite these groups also being characterized by an absence (of a belief in God or of animal consumption/exploitation, respectively.)” I know atheists do have a history of being oppressed by fervent Bible thumpers, and were killed for their lack of belief in a god. I can’t say anything about vegetarians/vegans, though.
  • “Relative to heterosexuals, and even relative to homosexuals and bisexuals, heterosexuals: (a) expressed more negative attitudes toward asexuals (i.e., prejudice); (b) desired less contact with asexuals; and © were less willing to rent an apartment to (or hire) an asexual applicant (i.e., discrimination).” I was surprised upon finding this. But then maybe I shouldn’t be. Human nonsexuality is still an anomaly. And people are naturally disgusted by anomalies.
  • “Moreover, of all the sexual minority groups studied, asexuals were the most dehumanized (i.e., represented as “less human”).” Unfortunately, this isn’t that surprising to me. After all, people dehumanize what they don’t understand, and asexuals are misunderstood/erased from society. Erasure is a part of oppression, because it marginalizes minority groups and categorizes them into stereotypes. Asexuals are seen as frigid and unfeeling–robotic, essentially. Before I read this article, I only knew that asexuals experienced erasure, which isn’t the end all be all of oppression, but it IS a part of it. And corrective rape, too. Can’t forget that.
  • “Intriguingly, heterosexuals dehumanized asexuals in two ways. Given their lack of sexual interest, widely considered a universal interest, it might not surprise you to learn that asexuals were characterized as “machine-like” (i.e., mechanistically dehumanized). But, oddly enough, asexuals were also seen as “animal-like” (i.e., animalistically dehumanized). Yes, asexuals were seen as relatively cold and emotionless and unrestrained, impulsive, and less sophisticated.” This basically backs up what I said above.
  • “Specifically, those disliking one social group (e.g., women) also tend to dislike other social groups (e.g., homosexuals; Asians). In our recent paper (MacInnis & Hodson, in press), we found that those who disliked homosexuals also disliked bisexuals and asexuals.”
  • “In other words, these prejudices are correlated. Heterosexuals who dislike one sexual minority, therefore, also dislike other sexual minorities, even though some of these groups are characterized by their sexual interest and activity and others by their lack of sexual interest and activity.” No surprise there. Bigotry for one group often manifests itself for other groups. Lots of homophobes I know are also racists and sexists.
  • “By deviating from the typical, average, or normal sexual interests, sexual minorities are considered substandard and thus easy targets for disdain and prejudice. Contrary to conventional folk wisdom, prejudice against sexual minorities may not therefore have much to do with sexual activity at all. There is even evidence, for instance, that religious fundamentalists are prejudiced against homosexuals even when they are celibate.” Gasp! How shocking.
  • “Together, such findings point to a bias against “others”, especially different others, who are seen as substandard and deficient (and literally “less human”).” So, why are we surprised that asexuals would experience oppression? Or even just a tiny bit of it (because erasure is a part of that!)? For me, it’s common sense to know that anything that deviates from the norm is going to experience some sort of prejudice or oppression or what have you.

Please keep reading. It doesn’t end here. It only gets worse.

Keep reading

9

Richard Starkey
July 7th, 1940 -

Happy birthday to the one and only Ringo Starr - the drummer, the singer, the musician, the photographer, the actor, the activist, and, above all else, the spreader of peace and love. We love you, Ringo!

The Poem I am Unable to Write

.

There is a poem I am unable to write,

even though I know where it begins

and how it ends. However, I have

learned over the years that if a poem

doesn’t come naturally to me then

it probably means I am not a good

enough poet yet and therefore I have

no business writing it.

Of course, that still doesn’t prevent

me from trying; after all, how will I ever

be good enough if I don’t put in the time.

But, in truth, a part of me likes to think

that I will never be good enough because,

like I said, I know how the poem ends.

I feel so lucky to have been in this fandom when One Direction was in it’s prime. The band is never going to be the same without Zayn - no one knows what the future will hold for the other four but I wish Zayn all the best. We can’t be mad at Zayn for this - we all know that he struggled with the fame the most out of everyone. He was the one that got the most shit from outside the world. There were cheating rumors almost every week - which put a strain on his relationship with Perrie (where you believe it to be real or not). He was picked apart and judged for his religion, he experienced Islamophobia on a level that most people cannot even begin to comprehend - not only for Zayn himself but for his family as well which I’m sure came with a lot of guilt. He was constantly being accused of using drugs even though nothing more than weed was ever confirmed and yet on one of the biggest morning talk shows in America he was called out for using drugs when he wasn’t even there. Zayn received more hate for who he was as a person than any other member of One Direction did and really all he wanted in the beginning was to get confirmation that he could actually sing - not to be world famous.  

We got a glimpse at what appeared to be happy Zayn at the beginning of this tour. Think about how much you enjoyed seeing him like that and think about how he is going to be like that ALL THE TIME now. Zayn can do whatever he wants now. He can focus on his art, hell maybe you’ll get the chance to own one of his pieces in the future. He is only twenty-two he has his whole life ahead of him and the best thing that you can do is to wish him happiness. 

And think of it like this, at least Zayn ended on a good note. There were no crazy public fights with the other four, they’re still his best friends, his brothers. He can still hang out with them and see them and you know that he will. It’s clear to me that this was not an easy decision for him to make. But don’t be selfish, you don’t know the whole story or exactly what Zayn was dealing with when he left. Mental health is very important and if leaving is what Zayn needs then that’s what he needs to do and we all need to support his decision. 

So reblog all of your favorite pictures of him, Youtube the crap out of Zayn’s Funnies/Cutest Moments, and read all of your favorite Zayn fanfics. Just whatever you do support him, don’t be mad him, and support Niall, Harry, Liam, and Louis because their lives just changed big time today too. 

And make sure to tell the Bradford Bad Boi that you love him. 

The LSAT: Study Tips from a Law Student.

Disclaimer: The LSAT is not a proper measure of your intelligence. But there are some things you can do to increase your score!

1. Start studying months in advance.

THIS IS A MAJOR KEY TO SUCCESS🔑🔑🔑 You cannot start studying for the exam a month in advance. You need AT LEAST 3 months to prepare. A dean of admissions at a law school in NY even suggested 6 months of preparation. The earlier you begin studying, the more time you have to learn the nuances of the exam (and eventually learn different techniques for doing well).

2. Prep class vs. Self-Study.

Again, it’s important to know yourself. Do you have the discipline to force yourself to study on your own? Or would a prep class give you the structure you need to study? 

PREP CLASS:

I chose to take a prep class. 

I’m a huge proponent of prep classes because it gives you access to an instructor (who did well on the exam) that can answer any questions you may have. I took a prep class with Kaplan. There were only 9 other students in the class so my instructor knew all of our strengths and weaknesses. She was able to identify my areas of opportunity and give me techniques to increase my score. The classes were actually fun (Despite them being four hours every day of the week…except the weekend). 

A prep class can be costly but the companies will have promotions. Also, do your research: there are scholarships that will help pay for the cost of a class! 

SELF-STUDY: 

I know some people who studied on their own. One of my mentors got a 170 on the LSAT by purchasing study aids from a local bookstore and creating a study schedule for herself. She started three months in advance and studied Sunday through Friday. On Saturdays, she would take an exam. (I didn’t have this level of discipline, though, hence my prep class enrollment lol).

3. Do your Research.

Like I said, the LSAT is not a measure of your intelligence. However, you definitely want to know the LSAT range at the schools you want to apply to. I’m saying this with a huge grain of salt, though. I currently attend a T25 law school and my LSAT score did not match the median LSAT score of the previous year. APPLY TO YOUR DREAM SCHOOL REGARDLESS OF YOUR SCORE! 

4. Discover Law program.

This program simulates your first year of law school in four weeks. Each week, you take a different first-year class with an LSAT session each day. Many law schools have this program and each has a different structure but the purpose of the program remains the same. The program I attended featured field trips to a federal court house and a medium-security prison. Also, at the end of the program, I received a fee waiver for the law school’s applications (which add up very quickly). 

5. Helpful Websites.

  • discoverlaw.org (they have a quiz you can take to introduce you to an area of law based on your interests!)
  • lsac.org

****I just want to stress again that your score is not a reflection of your intelligence. Remember that other application materials are equally as important! Check out my other post for tips about studying for your classes!