you can't cook with us

At the age of 20.
  • [{ Everyone is living with their lover and the husbands are talking while having a drinks... then their conversation went to their wives.}]
  • Kagami: Lately, I've seen Kuroko studying how to cook and bake.
  • Aomine: Ouu? How nice, Kagami.
  • Kagami: There's sarcasm along those lines.
  • Akashi: But my Kouki hasn't even moved an inch ever since he burned down the house.
  • Aomine & Kagami: Oi! This is the first time I heard such a thing!
  • Midorima: It happened a few months back after they finally settled in a single apartment. Apparently, that chihuahua burned down the house when he tried to cooked for Akashi.
  • Akashi: Ever since that day happened, he never step in to the kitchen.
  • Aomine: Who's the husband again?
  • Kagami: Isn't this great? We're talking about our wives.
  • Midorima: Uh...
  • Aomine: Midorima hasn't even talked about his wife, same goes to you both.
  • Murasakibara: Eh? But I tried to speak. I can't join in.
  • Hyuuga: At least stop munching your snacks for once.
  • Kagami: Oh yeah, capta- I mean, Hyuuga-senpai, you are married to coach, right?
  • Hyuuga: What did I told you about calling us captain and coach? BaKagami, we're already 20 plus and we're done with basketball. Call me Hyuuga and yeah, I'm married with her.
  • Aomine: Is she the girl in the bench back in Seirin?
  • Hyuuga: Yeah, the evil witch you guys been seeing along with us.
  • Murasakibara: Evil witch?
  • Akashi: She has a scary aura than me, Atsushi.
  • Murasakibara: Scary...
  • Kagami: How's things going though? Who's in charge of cooking both lunch and dinner?
  • Hyuuga: Me. I stopped her even before she can step inside of the kitchen.
  • Aomine: Oh, a bad cooker like Satsuki, huh?
  • Hyuuga: I bet she's even worst than Momoi-san. She can make a curry though the taste is unbelievable.
  • Akashi: Unbelievably good?
  • Kagami: No, the worst than good, Akashi. It's like you are going to die once you eaten one of her dish.
  • Aomine: You've tasted it before?
  • Kagami: She used to cook for us in our training camps and she even bought us bento.
  • Hyuuga: The face that Kuroko made when he ate one of her bento.
  • Aomine: She's no good. But Kise is the worst, though. He burned the egg all the time so we don't have a choice but to eat outside or order.
  • Kagami: Saying stuff like that... Kuroko is not the worst yet he can be the worst. You see, that guy only knows how to boil eggs.
  • Akashi: I'm not going to complain about how my Kouki does in the kitchen since you guys knew it already.
  • Murasakibara: Muro-chin is no bad. He can't cook but he can't even bake as well.
  • Midorima: You two will be fat in no time. Takao is nowhere good. He can't even boil water for our miso ramen.
  • Hyuuga: Though, I feel bad for Aomine.
  • Aomine: Right, the both of us aren't that good when it comes to cooking.
  • Kagami: I decided to cook for the both of us but you can't possibly resist how Kuroko look when he wants to cook.
  • Akashi: Same goes to me.
  • Murasakibara: Muro-chin never complains about the food I baked.
  • Midorima: He likes to spoil you too much and love you way too much.
  • Everyone: .... This is the world we chose anyway.
  • ----
  • In another cafe...
  • Kise: You see, Aominecchi decided the both of us to eat outside instead of cooking for each other. Since I have work every single day, he never broke his promise to eat together.
  • Kuroko: Kagami-kun banned me for stepping in the kitchen, though.
  • Furihata: I actually want to learn how to cook properly. Not burning the house down.
  • Takao: Hahaha! I feel so normal with you guys!
  • Himuro: Is this some kind of meeting for our husbands?
  • Everyone: Yes...
  • Himuro: I see. Well, since you guys are complaining about that. More likely, Kise is not complaining, shall we all enter a cooking school?
  • Kuroko: I'm up for that.
  • Furihata: Sei-kun wouldn't be happy about that.
  • Himuro: Why is that?
  • Furihata: He doesn't want to lessen our time together, though.
  • Himuro: You are far too spoiled. Atsushi would surely like this idea, anyway.
  • Everyone: Same goes to you, though.
Antipasto

In episode 10 of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable, Let’s Go Eat Some Italian Food, chef Tonio serves up an awesome course of food, that is started with the Antipasto. What is Antipasto? It’s translates to “before the meal,” and is the first course of a traditional Italian meal. It can include all kinds of things such as cured meats, various cheeses, and or vegetables served with either some kind of oil or vinaigrette.

In Jojo, the one served is quite simple (and quite delicious). The course is slices of mozzarella cheese layered between slices of fresh tomato with a vinaigrette splashed over them. This is actually a really simple dish to make because well nothing is cooked and it all comes down to just preparing the food and plating it. The vinaigrette is made of olive oil, white wine vinegar, a splash of balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, salt, pepper, nori, and anchovy. I didn’t have any anchovy or nori on me so I just made a basic vinaigrette to drizzle over the food. 

Mine didn’t end up quite as picturesque, but there you go! It’s a very simple to make delicious salad. But why is it so delicious? In the show the chef says you have to eat the tomato with the mozzarella, and this is quite true. By themselves the tomato and mozzarella are quite tasty, but when eaten together they are a perfect match. This dish has a lot of umami in it (especially when you use the anchovy for the dressing), which makes it taste very savory and makes you want to just shovel more of it into your mouth. Tomatoes are loaded with glutamic acid, which is what’s responsible for the umami flavor. Anchovies also have a bunch, which adds up for a lot of potent flavoring in a simple dish. The tomato and cheese sort of melt into your mouth and the oil coats the mixture giving it a beautiful texture and mouthfeel. It’s a great starter for a multi course meal because it makes you want to eat more. 

So I hope you enjoyed this edition of cooking with Anime-Scarves. I’ve got a few more things that I want to cook in the near future, so expect more of these to come. This is a wonderfully simple dish that anyone should be able to make and appreciate. It’s got a delightfully light, and bright flavor that is just perfect for a hot summer day. 

Thanksgiving Gone Wrong Starters
  • "There's no way this bird is fitting in that oven."
  • "Do I look like I know how to cook?"
  • "Here, help me get this cornish hen inside the turkey. I want to convince my sister the turkey was pregnant."
  • "If I hear one more Christmas song I'm going to throttle someone."
  • "My family made it a whole ten minutes before arguing this year."
  • "Backyard football got a little heated, can you meet me at the ER?"
  • "I need you to run back to the store."
  • "You didn't tell me that I had to kill the turkey!"
  • "I think the stuffing is laced with drugs."
  • "I don't think my mom has caught on yet that my brother's roommate is his boyfriend yet. She's letting them share a room."
  • "Don't you think it's a little racist the neighbors dress up their kids as Native Americans?"
  • "I'm lost somewhere between the dairy aisle and the end of the check-out line."
  • "Oh my God, I hate your family."
  • "I can't tell if your grandma is asleep on the couch or dead."
  • "What asshole decided to hold the election right before a major family holiday?"
  • "No, really, the bed in my room is too small to fuck on. It's like my parents are trying to sabotage me."
  • "The line for the bathroom is 12 deep."
  • "I'm still at the airport."
  • "Why do I smell something burning -- oh."
  • "You can't use fireworks to cook!"
  • "The turkey hotline blocked my number."
  • "Why is your head in the turkey?!"

What could possibly cause a massive death while watching NCT Life cooking show:

  1. those sharps knifes…or their zoomed in sharp jawlines
  2. their soft hands touching the food… or their backhands wiping the sweat
  3. someone setting fire to the kitchen…or someone getting lit while tasting the food
  4. someone licking his finger while tasting the food…or someone tasting the food from another’s finger…
  5. all of them doing a mukbang while making moaning sounds like “ahh this is heaven…oooh it tastes so good”