you can use yeah man too

Our party—a bard, a fighter, and a ranger—were on a one-off side quest to deliver a letter to somebody. He wasn’t at his house (learned after breaking in, to the DM’s dismay), so we found out the general area he was in and went there, confusion in our wake and a spring in our steps. I, the bard, had decided that I would funnel every ounce of skill I possessed into charisma, and at level 5 had a +6 modifier. I had been using that power at every opportunity that arose. We wander through the foothills full of caves, looking for this guy, when our fighter rolls a nat 20 perception trying to look for any signs of life.

DM: You—okay, so. Yeah. With that, you actually notice about fifty feet away that a particular cluster of bushes is rustling just slightly, but not with the breeze.

Fighter: Oh. Cool. “Hey guys, I think there are some folks in those bushes over there.”

Me: “Cool beans! HELLOOOOOOO, MY DUDES!”

DM: There’s a few seconds of silence before four guys come slowly forward from the bushes. They look pretty rough and tough, and uh—

Ranger: Can I roll perception? Uh… that’s a 15.

DM: You deduce that they’re probably bandits or something. They’re walking forward and one of the guys says, “Who are you little pests, and what’re ya doing in these here foothills of ours?”

Me: “We’re just hanging out, traveling, and actually it seems like a good time to break for breakfast if you lovely gents would like to join us! I can brew us up some chamomile, I have like a thousand mushrooms I got earlier—”

Fighter: “I got that chicken, too, and jerky.”

Me: “Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna chow down if y'all want in on that action.”

DM: That’s, uh… that’s persuasion, advantage because you’re offering them food and seem too dumb to be dangerous.

Me: Thanks man. Uh… 14 total.

DM: *head in his hands* I just—okay, they join you for breakfast I guess. And yet again you avoid a fight I planned for you. One of the dudes breaks out some eggs from somewhere.

Ranger: What’re their names?

DM: Uh, uh, they—it’s got. There’s Bablo, Sanchez, Kent, and uh. Eskabar.

Me: Cool. I roll to flirt with them.

DM: ………<i>all of them???</i> I mean… sure?? I guess??

Me: Hells yeah. Rolling.

Proceeds to roll: 16, 19, and <i>two natural 20s</i>.

DM: *head on the table* Like. You—you make your fellow party members super uncomfortable. You are piled under boys, it’s kinda gross but super chill for you. Kent wasn’t super into the whole group thing before, but now he would straight up die for you. He’s learning a lot about himself today.

Me: I’m gonna write those names down for later. Can I put “a boys harem” in my items list?

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

SKAM S04E10 Clip 8 - Dear Sana

[Incomprehensible chatter]

SANA: He’s the one who bought the toilet paper rolls.

THE GIRLS: Oh! That’s right!

VILDE: Where did they end up?

BOY: I just sold them to some friends at the Mosque. Nothing big.

EVA: Oh, okay.

BOYS: Eyyyy!

ESKILD: Eid mubarak! Eid mubarak.

SANA: Hi!

ESKILD: Hi!

SANA: Welcome.

ESKILD: Thank you and I just wanted to say Eid mubarak!

SANA: Eid mubarak!

ESKILD: Eid mubarak

SANA: Ohhh, how nice the two of you look!

ESKILD: Thanks! I’m the one who chose the outfits for tonight. I went to Grøndland and did some shopping. Yes.

SANA: Hijab and everything?

ESKILD: Hijab and everything. And I brought a little present! I brought a gift for the hostess. It’s two boreks that I put in a nice box.

SANA: That’s very nice of you.

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For my latinos that don’t know about “In The Heights”, oh man OH MAN

so get this. it’s a musical made by lin-manuel miranda (nominated for 13 tonys, won a grammy, no big deal. this is what launched lin) and its for us. Yeah anyone can enjoy it, but it’s for us. It’s about what our culture specifically goes through completely filled with Reggaeton, Salsa, Merengue, the works. The main thing I love about it is it raises the question of what it means to have a heritage that links back to another country, and what that means for those living in America. Where is home. Is it where your family is from - with your people, or is it where you make it. Just too good, man. 

IN THE HEIGHTS IS SO IMPORTANT.

Bearded Bucky.

Author’s Note: I’m sorry guys. I’ve got two series to continue but this man is killing me. I couldn’t stop myself from doing this so I hope you like it. Dishonour on you, Mr. Stan.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Warnings: Bearded Sebastian, 18+ (If you are a minor, go away), NSFW, Oral Sex (I mean, OF COURSE), Language, Unprotected sex (Wrap it! Use a condom!), .

Words: 2.476


You groaned as Natasha pressed her knee on your chest, sending you to the mat. Your muscles ached and you knew there would be new bruises the following day. 

Your friend looked at you from above, a smirked on her plump and perfect lips. You snored and accepted the hand she was offering you, standing up. On the other side of the room you heard the noise of objects being broken as Wanda used her powers.

You three were the only inhabitants in the Tower at that time along with Tony. He had refused to go with the rest of the time to a mission, argumenting he was too old for that. Nat had replied that maybe he should give the Iron Man suit to a younger man and he had looked daggers at her.

“If Capsicle is able to do it, I can”

“Yeah, the only difference is that even though he’s ninety-something, he looks and feels like a twenty-something young man” You had added, sipping your drink.

“Okay, you two won’t stay in my Tower anymore”

And there you were. That day Scott would bring Cassie as he had to go somewhere to a mission that you didn’t recall. It didn’t matter. The little girl loved the team. 

“So…what do you say?” Natasha started as she took her bag. “Party on Saturday?”

“Yeah, why not? Let’s have a girls’ night now they’re gone”

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NCT As Boyfriends

Anon requested:  Hi I hope this isn’t too much to ask for but can you guys do nct as your boyfriend? Thank you!

Genre: Fluff & SMut

Author: admin Karma

A/N: Hey, i’m sorry you had to wait so long
These are all members besided the minors and Lucas & Jungwoo since I don’t know much about them yet……… Also since it’s 10 members this is a long one….

Reminder! This is completely how I see them as boyfriends and it’s probably very inaccurate as I am not that good at reading people but i’ll do my best!! (this is for all genders) and since this is a smut acc, I will add some 16+ content to it ;)

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Mine - Damon Salvatore x Reader

Title: Mine

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompt: Can you do a Damon fic where the reader gets super pissed/jealois of him and makes a show of how he’s here? ((you said Tvd I assumed Vampire Diaries sorry if that’s not what you meant))

Originally posted by feedyourvanity

“Make it double please, I like my drinks strong.” Damon flashed the bartender one of his usual smiles but not one that he meant completely you knew it all too well.

“Something tells me it’s not the only thing you go hard on, huh?” the woman’s smirk was impossible to miss just as was the way she was leaning over the bar, giving him a full view of her cleavage instead of preparing what Damon asked from her.

“What can I say, guilty.” he shrugged, giving her a cheeky grin “But I’ve got my girl so, sorry but I’ll take only that drink for now.” he simply turned her down but she wasn’t having any of it. Obviously.

“Aw shame” she pouted her incredibly red lips “Because you know, I really would be in the mood to have it rough tonight.”

By this point Damon himself was starting to lose his patience, and you could clearly tell so even if you were a good few feet away “Look, you maybe be the kind of girl I’d go after but that was before I got my girl, and let me tell you she is a really special one. Now, the drink if you’d have no problem?” he raised an eyebrow but she didn’t move an inch.

“Oh I would have no problem if you’d give me something else too, you know.” she rested her chin on her palm and Damon gave her a strained chuckle.

“I told you. Not available.” he shook his head.

“And I heard that, I just thought that maybe you and me- after I’m done with work- I can get something else done too?” she bit her lips at him suggestively and you had such a hard time keeping a groan in.

“Really?” he asked back “And what could that be?” he was playing too but you had seen this too many times and each and every time it ended with the girl walking away. Alone.

“Oh I could always show you pretty quick.” she grinned, finally feeling successful.

“Hm let me think about it.” he paused for a moment “How about… no.” yes he was getting very annoyed, you knew that look all too well.

“Honestly?” she pouted, obviously not realizing what she could get into if she kept hitting on him “Because- I mean-” she grinned at him “-She doesn’t have to know.” she leaned even closer to him but Damon didn’t bat an eyelash. Maybe the old Damon would have been affected but not this Damon, under all the cockiness and smartass remarks you knew what a real sweetheart he was. Sure he didn’t like you saying it out loud because well he had a reputation but it was the truth. He cared about you and really loved you, there was no way he’d just leave you for another girl. You had been able to crack through that hard facade of his in the first place. You had been able to help him get his humanity back, numerous times at that, so no he wasn’t just going to cheat on you.

But that, despite how deep you knew his feelings to be of you, didn’t stop you from feeling jealous. Maybe you were a little irrational at times but truth was you knew how handsome Damon was and you knew he would draw all the ladies’ attention. Sometimes you really wished they would know what he really was. You would certainly laugh at seeing them run away frightened when you actually would always stick with him.

But once again, nothing stopped you from being jealous.

“Too bad she already knows then huh?” you asked, finally walking towards them and Damon finally noticed you, a smirkforming on his lips instantly.

“Oh you-” she started speaking but you cut her off before she could say more.

“Yeah me.” you grinned cheekily “And sorry to break it to you sweetheart but as you can see-” you gave her an annoyed look “There is no way you’d ever be able to take this hot stuff home when he has someone like me.”

“(Y/n)-” he started speaking but you hushed him by placing a finger over his lips.

“Now why don’t you make yourself useful and go brink that drink oh and your way there find a dictionary to learn the word ‘decency’ because you certainly have no idea what it means, yeah?”

“I- I-” she blinked stuttering.

“Yes, yes you. And bring me the same too, alright? No need to lose your job over a man who’d never come with you even if you were the last woman on Earth ok?” you didn’t leave any room for her to reply and even if she looked angry and was about to snap at you you knew she couldn’t because as of the moment you were the only one right.

And of course you didn’t even wait for a reply from her. Instead you turned to Damon who seemed ready to speak but couldn’t say a word. Of course he didn’t have to apologize to you but at the moment you were slightly angry with him. You swang one leg over his and you sat on his lap, each of your legs on his sides; wrapping around his waist. You grabbed the hem of his jacket and giving him a small smirk you crashed your lips to his. He jumped at first but, as you expected, he didn’t miss a beat to respond to the kiss.

You heard her say something and walk away but you didn’t pay much attention to her. You kissed Damon somewhat sloppily, your tongue tangled with his in a hot mess as his hands found your thighs. He gave them a squeeze and groaned loudly when you pressed yourself harder on him. Your hands rested on his neck and you pressed him to yourself. You breathed heavily as he did, your teeth grazing over his lips every so often and you heard him let out a small growl. His hand moved to your ass where he squeezed but before he could do anything else, and oh boy he did want to, you pressed your hands on his chest and pushed him away.

He let a small wine but you smirked at him, pleased with how red his lips looked from all the rough kissing “That- is for everybody that needs to know who you belong to.”

“Something tells me you’re a little jealous huh?” he grinned, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

You scoffed “Like hell Salvatore! I am just marking my territory.” you shrugged and leaned down, burying your face at the crook of his neck where you kissed and licked before you finally sucked at the soft spot. You knew there would be a hickey that would soon would disappear but you were content for it to be there even for a little while.

“Mhm” he groaned “Marking your territory? I like the sound of that.” he ran his hands up your back “Why not mark it a little more, you know just to make sure everybody can see it.” he smirked and you pulled slightly away, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I’m going to get you back for this you know it right.” you let a small growl and he grinned even more.

“Oh I look forward to it.” he breathed out and you rolled your eyes.

You hoped off him and grabbed his hand “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“Oh I so love you not getting jealous!”

I Saw Her First (Steve Rogers/Clark Kent x reader)

Many superheroes preferred to keep their true lives a secret from the people they protected, but they didn’t mind if they knew each other’s identities; it was almost like a secret club with a code of honored exclusivity.  It was unheard of to out a fellow member, so in an effort to keep the temptation away, Tony threw an annual party at the tower with the hottest ticket in New York that no civilian would ever get their hands on.  It was a party where heroes were free to be themselves; their true selves without the masks and capes, usually drawing in a few new members with each year as the superhero community continued to grow. It was growing so fast, in fact, that after only a few parties, the word of the event had spread like wildfire. Universes began to collide, and heroes who would have never known the other existed formed welcome friendships.

That’s how Superman and Captain America became the mischievous troublemakers of the superhero world.  With a common proclivity for stress relief through humor, the new duo spent nearly as much time plotting their next move as they did saving the world.

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The Friendly Wager (Part 5)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,562

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, drinking, bad jokes, angst

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Tags are closed. Only two parts left after this! I’m really sorry for pushing out two updates but I’m running out of time and work is going to be tough, so…

Originally posted by darlingpanslove

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Dad Shawn

  • Sleepy Shawn rolling out of bed to get the baby at 4am
    He’s shirtless, and his hairs a mess, but the baby isn’t crying anymore
  • The way he’d look at your newborn like she’s made of gold
  • He’d always be willing to change the diapers
    Because thats the one thing he actually can do
    Since you’re almost always on feeding duty
  • “She rolled over, SHE ROLLED OVER! Babe, did you see that?”
    “Do it again sweetie, I want to record it, can you do it again?”
  • Shawn smiling proudly anytime someone calls your baby cute
    Almost like he’s thinking, yeah, I made that
  • “She said ‘Dada!’”
    “Shawn, she didn’t say anything.”
    “But she wants to, I know she does.”
  • He’d sing your kids to sleep
    And it was always the fastest way of getting them down
    When he was traveling for work, you’d put him on speakerphone
    So he could sing to the kids at night from wherever he was 
  • He would throw your children in the air and catch them
    Almost giving you a heart attack every time
    But they’d be laughing so hard
  • Saturday mornings were for cartoons
    And you don’t know who looked forward to it more
    Shawn or the kids
  • Every time Shawn returned home from a work trip
    He always brought toys, always
    Despite you telling him that they already had too many
  • Shawn taking your daughter out on “dates” when she’s like 7
    So that she would know how she deserved to be treated by a man
  • “So uh, babe, you know how you told us not to get a puppy?”
    “Yeah…”
    “Well, the shelter had so many cute ones.”
    “Mhmm?”
    “So we didn’t get a puppy, we got two. One for each kid.”
  • Anytime your kids were brought up in an interview
    Shawn always had a new story to tell about them
  • “She can sleep in our bed, just for tonight, please babe?”
  • Shawn helping your kids with homework
    “Um, I think we should ask your mom about that one.”
  • He’d always be in the backyard with your kids
    Showing them the best way to catch insects 
  • Your kids always like it better when Shawn pushes the cart or stroller
    “Vroom!” Crash! “Oops”
  • He’d build forts with your kids in the living room
    And you’d come home to see Shawn’s legs sticking out the back
    Because he’s too big to fit inside
    But he’s in there anyway
  • Shawn coaching your kid’s hockey team
  • And taking off of work early to watch them in the school play
  • He’d make sure your little men knew how to treat girls
    “Buddy, you gotta hold the door open.”
  • He’d write so many songs about your kids
    Most of them would never get released
    But you’d play it for them when they got older
  • “I’ll buy you ice cream if you stop screaming.”
    “Shawn, that is not how you’re supposed to parent.”
    “But it worked.”
  • Shawn would always be telling your kids he loves them
    In the most random moments too
    Your son runs inside while playing hide and seek with his brother
    And Shawn’s like “Hey son, I love you.”
    “I know dad. Help me hide.”
  • You never thought you’d see Shawn as passionate about anything
    The way he was passionate about music
    But then he became a dad.
How to make an awakened shrub...a pet..

So…in a game i played that died out cause life happens. I played a drow cleric and we had a light foot halfling ranger….so we all meet in a tavern first game just chilling when some shit goes down. So after me healing the majors son and learning of plant craziness we all set out to see what the shits going on. So we fight some fucking alarm mushromes and now we are fighting awakened shrubs and vines and our ranger grabs the awakened shrub that had sleep cast on it. Now we have all vowed to keep this damn shrub with us.

Me (drow cleric): so…we just have a shrub…like a fucking shrub puppy?

DM: for now….in the coming days kme will have to make animal handling checks to keep it liking you guys.

Me: when it turns on us can we use it for fire kindling?

Party: you yourself said that we keep shrub puppy, even if its just a leaf.

Me: yeah i know! I just…thinking a head…like shit man.

Later in the tavern rooms hallway

Me: *knocks on rangers door* i came to help see whats up with the shrub

Ranger: thanks.

Me: is….is the shrub really soaking its roots? paws? Root paws in a water bowl?

Ranger: yes……

Me: should we rub its feet next too jesus christ.

So the coming days we have an awakened shrub with us. The next and last game i ended up dying cause haha i didn’t heal myself cause the fucking cleric is smart…my int. Was like a 10 so i mean.

  • Lance: okay so babe I've thought of this extremely good, strategical plan that can get us in and out with no hassle, danger or fighting and- Keith?
  • Lance: you've just- you've just winged it haven't you?
  • Keith, too busy going in guns blazing to answer: ...
  • Lance, sighing: yeah okay you have, guess we're doing this then
2

“And Cygnus is right… there!”

“…That’s literally just five stars in a t-shape; how the fuck am I supposed to see a swan out of that?”

au where jeongguk is in a band. they’re doing pretty well, they’ve got jeongguk on guitar and vocals, taehyung on the drums, yoongi on the keyboard and namjoon on the bass guitar. however, jeongguk still feels like something is missing in their songs. when he brings this up to the rest of the band, they all agree. it gets pushed to the back of their minds however, as they’re too busy preparing for their latest gig. until yoongi bursts into practice one day with the announcement of i think i found what’s missing from our songs! and introduces them to jimin, a dancer he met when picking hoseok up from dance practice, who surprisingly has a delightful voice. they run through a couple of songs and yeah, they come to the conclusion that jimin’s voice harmonising with jeongguk’s is exactly what they need. the only problem is, jeongguk isn’t sure if his heart can handle working with jimin who has a sweet voice and an even sweeter smile.

“hey gukkie, we’re gonna go get food after this, wanna come?”
“who’s going??”
“just us. jimin’s gonna be there too!”
“oh. um. i’ve got errands to run?”
“come on man, we haven’t hung outside of practice in ages. is it because jimin’s gonna be there? i thought you were cool with him??”
“i am! i am cool with him!” i just don’t know how to talk to him without sounding like an idiot with a crush.

bleudinosaur  asked:

Hello! Quick question, do you have any resources/tips for writing hateful/mean dialogue? I'm having more trouble with this than I thought I would. Thanks :D

Hello!  Off the top of my head, I can think of a few: 

1.  Allow conflict to escalate and then explode. 

Unless one of your characters is entering the discussion raging mad about this-that-or-the-other, your dialogue will likely start somewhat placid and escalate from there.  

For example: 

“Um.  Sandy,” said Leon, voice carefully level.  “Can we talk?” 

“Sure!  What about, man?”  said Sandy, smiling pleasantly at his friend. 

“I, um.  Feel silly even asking you this, but uh…”  Leon chuckled awkwardly, then took a deep, steadying breath through his nostrils.  “Did you…have sex with my father?”

Sandy blinked, then let out a nervous bray of laughter.  “Wha-ha-hat ever gave you that idea, bro?” 

Leon’s eyes widened.  “You DID!”

“What?  No I didn’t!”  

“Yes, you did!”  cried Leon, pointing a finger at him.  “You only do that stupid laugh when you’re caught in a lie!  You totally did!  YOU BANGED MY DAD!

Sandy opened his mouth to protest, then closed it in resignation.  “Okay, look.  Daniel and I were both drunk, it was a mistake…” 

“OH MY GOD!”  Leon clapped a hand over his mouth.  “You fucking bastard.  My parents are getting a divorce now!”  

“Look, it isn’t my fault your dad can’t keep it in his fucking pants!”  Sandy snapped.  “And if your mom knew how to please a man, he wouldn’t have had to get his rocks off in me anyway.” 

“Son of a BITCH!”  Without thinking, Leon balled his fist and sent it flying.  

Okay, never mind the subject matter.  See the escalation there?  Though there’s tension at the beginning of the discussion, both characters are calm, which makes it more interesting (and in a weird way, rewarding) when one finally explodes.

Even if one of your characters is entering the discussion angry, there will likely be a period in which their companion tries to placate them before they finally give in and it devolves into a proper, two-sided fight.  

Let’s return to another scenario of Sandy and Leon’s personal drama to see what I mean:  

“SON OF A BITCH!”  roared Leon, storming into his shared dorm room.  “YOU SLEPT WITH MY FUCKING DAD!” 

Sandy, who had been reclined on the sofa reading a book, scrambled into an upright sitting position.  “Wha-ha-hat?  No I didn’t!” 

“Yes you did,” Leon fumed, face tomato red.  “You’re doing that stupid laugh you only do when you’re lying!”

“Look, Lee, I swear -” 

“TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH, SANDY.” 

The two stared at each other for a moment, before Sandy ducked his head sheepishly.  “Okay, look, Daniel and I were drunk, it was a mistake -” 

“YOU BASTARD.”

“Lee, I’m sorry-”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!  MY PARENTS ARE GETTING A DIVORCE NOW!”

“Oh, for God’s sake-YOUR FATHER’S FUCKING GAY, LEON!”  Sandy snapped, rolling his eyes.  “And it’s none of my business, I know, but I really have a hard time picturing that a heterosexual woman, AND A FUCKING GAY MAN, ever had marriage of year!” 

Leon’s face turned an interesting shade of purple.  “Why you LITTLE…” 

“He should have been able to keep it in his pants anyways,” Sandy sneered.  “And if your mom knew how to please a man, he wouldn’t have needed to get his rocks off elsewhere.” 

That was the last straw.  Leon balled his fist and sent it flying.

I’ve been watching altogether too many reality TV shows lately, but you get the point:  conflict, of any sort, escalates until it simmers down or explodes.  

2.  Selectively use synonyms for ‘said.’ 

Contrary to popular belief, said isn’t dead.  However, antonyms can be great mood setters.  

For creating a snappy, hateful, angry mood, try synonyms like this:

Snapped

Barked

Roared

Fumed

Argued

Taunted

Hissed

Cursed

Swore

Challenged

Seethed

Shouted

Snarled

Bellowed

Growled

Sneered 

Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll end up looking like that one scene from My Immortal.  Yeah, you know the one: 

3.  Allow for pointed jabs.  

In arguments, even with loved ones, we sometimes say hurtful things with or without meaning them.  

When one of your characters is angry with the other, and I mean really angry, they may not be above pointing out their insecurities in a heated moment.  

This can be treated as comedic fodder in some instances (i.e. generally anything related to erectile dysfunction and feigned orgasms), but in others, it can get genuinely hurtful and heartbreaking.  

Let’s say you’re dealing with two characters, one of whom has abandonment issues.  Maybe the other knows this, and is generally supportive.  However, in a very heated argument, they may reach for it as a weapon.  

For example:

“For God’s sake, Michael, it’s one o’clock in the morning!”  cried Lisa, as her drunken husband staggered in the door.  “It’s your son’s seventh birthday today!  Did you really think now was the best time to have a guy’s night out with your poker buddies!?”

“Not now, Lise. I wanna sleep,” Michael slurred, dumping his gym bag in the corner and staggering towards the stairs.

“NO,” snapped Lisa, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him to face her.  “No, Mike.  You don’t get to leave without talking about this.”

“Ugh.  Why do you always gotta be like this, Lisa,”  Michael groaned, temples throbbing.  

“Don’t you dare try and play the victim here!  Do you think my afternoon’s been easy?  I had to look at his little face, and tell him his daddy loved vodka more than-”

“DAMMIT, LISA!”  Michael barked suddenly.  “This is why your dad left, you know that!?  You just can’t help but drive men away.”

Lisa recoiled as though she’d been stung.  Michael felt a sick wave of satisfaction deep in his gut that he knew he’d be ashamed of once he was sober. 

“Go to hell, Mike,” whispered Lisa.  Tears pricked her eyes as she turned and hurried out of the room.

Mike’s an asshole, but you get the point.  Also note that this exchange follows the same pattern of escalation I mentioned earlier.

These kinds of jabs can take really any number of forms for anyone with a shared history:  past instances of adultery, poor financial decisions, bad parenting, or mistakes made in adolescence can all become canon fodder in a harsh altercation.  The better the people know each other, the better they’ll know their week spots.  

That’s why folks who don’t know each other all that well will usually settle for jabs at one another’s parentage, sexual histories, et cetera to try to get a rise out of them.

In a very hateful dialogue, usually delivered as hate speech from a bigoted stranger, this could also involve slurs towards the person’s sexuality, race, or gender, or falling back on harmful stereotypes to try and hurt the party in question;  they know that it’s a sore spot for them, and they want to hurt them as much as possible with it.

(It’s worth noting here, however, that if you are White, I would recommend against using racial slurs in your writing, just as if you’re straight you may not want to use words like “dyke” or “f*ggot” out of respect for your readers.  That’s just my opinion, however, and not everyone will agree with me on this one.)


I really hope this helps, and happy writing!  <3 

3

     “Dean?”

     Your voice echoed off the bunker’s high walls as you entered the library, wondering around in a quest to find the eldest Winchester. What you were hoping to see upon locating Dean was a diligently working hunter researching for the case you were on. But, of course, what you found instead was lust-driven slacker exploring the deepest depths of BustyAsianBeauties.com.

    Your urge to punch him increased ten-fold when he turned around to find you standing behind him, threw his hand up over the screen and minimized the window.

     “Seriously, Dean? Busty Aisin Beauties? We’re supposed to be working.”

     The laptop was quickly slammed shut and Dean glanced at you over his shoulder. “You saw nothing.”

     “Bull shit.”

     You dove forward and snatched the computer from the library’s wooden table, dancing just out of the green-eyed hunter’s reach and opening the screen. It was Dean’s computer so it wasn’t password protected, and it was Dean so you didn’t even have to go into history. You clicked the Chrome icon and easily pulled up the minimized window, the computer’s screen filling with the unmistakable busty beauties and pink backgrounds of the website you’d caught your hunting partner using more times than you could count.

    You looked up at Dean in exasperation.

     “What?” he asked. He’d switched from defensive to accepting. It wasn’t like this was the first time you’d found him indulging in his baser desires. “A man has needs, you know.”

     You rolled your eyes and gave Dean his laptop back, pushing it into his gut maybe just a little harder than was strictly necessary. “Yeah, well I have needs too. I need you to help with this case. Can you handle that?”

     Dean stomped his foot and straightened his back, clasping his hands behind him. “Sir, yes Sir.”

     You shook your head and sighed, suppressing a smile bubbling just under the surface and pushing past the mountain of a man in front of you. Then Dean’s large hand wrapped around your arm and he leaned in close, breath ghosting across your skin as he spoke.

     “Or … we could explore some other needs.”


*These gifs are not mine, both the gifs are from Google Images*

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Keep reading

Are You Drunk?

Pairing: Peter X Reader
Warnings: Language, Underage Drinking
A/N: Here’s another Peter one :D This is from a prompts list - “Are you drunk?” & “I think I’m in love with [him], and I’m terrified.”

-

“This is stupid,” Peter muttered to Ned as they walked up to Liz’s house party. It was already in full swing, and he didn’t doubt that some partiers were already drunk, if Liz had brought alcohol. “If you hadn’t blurted out that I knew Spider-Man, we wouldn’t have to be here!”

“Come on man, Y/N will be here,” Ned teased, causing Peter to roll his eyes. “You got the suit, right?”

Keep reading

twodemigodtraveleroflorien  asked:

Any prompts for a boy trying to tell his best friend he's in love with him?

I can certainly make some! 

“I uh.. I love you.” 

“I love you too, man.” 

“No, I love you, love you, man.” 

“Oh…” 


2. “Hey, can I talk to you?” 

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” 

“So uh.. This is… This is really hard for me to say but I need to tell you because I can’t hide it from you anymore. Im..im just so scared you’ll look at me differently or won’t talk to me anymore or something because you’re my best friend and if there is anyone I can’t loose its you and i.. I just dont want this to change us..”

“Hey.. it’s okay. Come here, calm down. Nothing you could ever say to me would make me leave you. You’re my best friend too, man, I would never leave you. Never.” 

“…Are you sure?”

“Positive.” 

“Okay…Well.. Well, I… I uh.. I love you.”


3. “Hey, Dude. What’s up with you? You’ve been acting weird around me all week, you can barely look me in the eye, and anytime I get near you, you act like I am about to stab you. Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, no uh.. The opposite, actually…”
“What?” 

“I think.. I think I might be in love with you…”

“Oh.. Oh thank god.”

“What!?” 

“Dude, I thought you were staring to hate me! You were treating me like I had the plague, I thought I was gonna loose you.” 

“No way, I could never hate you. You’re my best friend, it’s pretty much physically impossible for you to loose me.”

“Good…”


4. “Come on dude, cheer up, anyone would be pretty lucky to have you…”

“Really, you think so?” 

“I know so, Man, You’re my best friend. I am pretty lucky to have you in my life, and well, I think you would make a great boyfriend.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I would be the best boyfriend, I’d probably spoil you rotten and give you anything you wanted and tons of affection.” 

“I meant uh… I meant you’d make a good boyfriend to anyone, like you’d be a good person to date in general…” 

“I mean, you’re not wrong, but I think I would be the best boyfriend to you, specifically. I already dote on you since you’re my best friend, imagine what I could do as your boyfriend.” 

“Oh…I uh..Uh…guess you would make a pretty good one..” 

“Well? Do you want to actually find out?” 

“What!?”

“Do you want to find out how good of a boyfriend I could be?” 

“I.. I’d like that, yeah, I would really, really like that…” 


5. “I mean, everyone already says that the person you love should also be your best-friend, right? That’s how you get the  best, long lasting romances, apparently, when your partner is also your best-friend.” 

“Well, I guess that means were already one step ahead to having the best marriage.” 

“Were not even dating you…” 

“Dating or not, you’re still my best friend, and I still love you. You love me too, right?” 

“Well.. yeah, I do..” 

“Then it doesnt matter if we already dating, or if we start officially right now, or we wait a while. I don’t need a title to love you, in my mind, we’ve always been together, and I think we always will be” 



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