you can use these if you somehow want them

context: our gnome bard decided to spend her long rest in the human cleric’s cauldron, when the party wakes she can’t get out

rogue: i want to pull her out
dm: strength roll
rogue: well, crit miss
dm: you fall into the cauldron with her
cleric 1: ill try to get them
cleric 1: …crit miss
dm: you fall in, its rather cramped
halfling monk: okay, im going to use my tail to pull them out and stand 5ft away from the cauldron
monk: CRIT MISS
dm: you are somehow lifted and stuffed into the cauldron
cleric 2, our last party member: fucking idiots

Powers

ARIES: Strength to endure a certain activity like no one else can. It is not because you’re stable, it’s because of your courage and how much energy you have.
TAURUS: Patience is your most powerful trait. You could wait a long time to finally get what you want, especially if it’s worth waiting for.
GEMINI: Blindside people. They know that they’re supposed to be mad at you but you somehow change the subject or use your “charm” to make them forget and move on.
CANCER: When it comes to feeling needed, you make others feel that for you. It’s because of how attentive you are to feelings and concerns. Once you help someone, they come back for more because you make them feel special.
LEO: Making people have two different feelings about you at the same time. They like you but they also don’t like you and this is what makes them stick around. It’s almost like a puzzle, almost everyone wants to figure you out.
VIRGO: Observation and detail. You excel at pointing out different angles and prespectives that most wouldn’t of begun to think about.
LIBRA: The ability to make any environment comfortable and relaxed. Whoever is around you will feel like they can be themselves and you accept it.  
SCORPIO: I don’t know what it is but you don’t have to do anything and at least one person will somehow be drawn to you and want to be a long term partner or friend.  
SAGITTARIUS: Make anyone smile or to lift the spirits of someone because of how forward and enjoyable you are.
CAPRICORN: Working is your fuel so you always progress in whatever field or job you take on and it doesn’t take long to do that.
AQUARIUS: Capability to motivate others to care and/or debate about a certain subject, even if it’s small or random, because of how much you talk about it and because of how deep and convincing you can be.
PISCES: Somehow without saying much you can get others to talk about their personal lives and open up easily which in turn makes them like you.

A Softer Love
  • “There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.”
  • “I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.”
  • “Our love was doomed, a burning building, a broken neck. But nothing since you and me even feels like love.”
  • “I want everyone to love me and I’m pretty sure the trick is to just be myself, but with money.”
  • “I can only infer that love exists from its effects on others.”
  • “I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now.”
  • “You are the love of my life so far.”
  • “Will you still love me when I am a spooky ghost?”
  • “I’m in love with the you I wish you were. I only stay with you because you look like him.”
  • “Sometimes even love isn’t enough. So what chance do WE have?”
  • “I wish being in love was enough. I wish it counted for anything at all.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away.”
  • “Yeah, maybe we all die alone. I masturbate alone, too. Sometimes.”
  • “Sometimes when two people love each other it’s really unfortunate.”
  • “I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another.”
  • “If love lasted forever, we’d only ever get one.”
  • “Just once I’d like to fall in love with someone? who will ruin things before I do.”
  • “Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough.”
  • “I am terrified I will never find another love like ours.”
  • “I want to carve our initials in the bark of everyone who ever hurt you.”
  • “I love the way your face lights up when someone says, "It might be dangerous.”“
  • "All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.”
  • “Our love is like an animatronic pigeon. No! It’s like a sex party on the moon! Also I am a bit drunk.”
  • “I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love.”
  • “When you get that look, nobody is safe. It’s why I first fell in love with you.”
  • “You are a good person and I love you. This just isn’t the life I hoped I’d have.”
  • “Marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, it’s between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.”
  • “Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.”
  • “Sometimes I think you might fall in love with someone else and all my problems will be solved.”
  • “I keep all my old love letters, but to be honest I just skim them for the dirty bits.”
  • “It would be easier to deal with falling out of love if it hadn’t somehow made the sex exciting again.”
  • “Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.”
  • “If our love lasts forever it’s gonna get real awkward when one of us dies.”
  • “There are just two things that make life worth living. The people you love, and sweet pranks.”
  • “I love those quiet moments in the dark where you can stop pretending.”
  • “I don’t know what the fuck true love even is but I do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life.”
  • “I said I’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. I guess that’s my problem. A failure of imagination.”
  • “I know I can’t make you love me. But I wish I could make you shut up about not loving me.”
  • “Our love is a meteor impact, a super volcano erupting. We won’t survive but we won’t die bored.”
  • “At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now I didn’t even know you were sad.”
  • “You don’t love me, but you used to. I wanted to say thank you for that.”
  • “You and I will never be a great love story. That’s ok! Let’s see what kind of story we’ll be.”
  • “When I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kind of horny.”
  • “I lost the woman I loved and now all I have are my father’s well-meaning words, "Maybe now you can meet a nice man.”“
  • "I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.”
  • “She’s like an angel. My family loves her but I just don’t believe anymore." 
6

Made cutouts of these dummies dancing in Konosuba season 2′s Opening. Not the cleanest of jobs, so I might still work on them later.

Edit: Since this post somehow got pretty popular I’ve decided to add the two missing dances. These should look a bit nicer since I used a better process this time. You can use these gifs for anything you want, just don’t repost them as your own edits. If you notice something weird, throw a message my way and I’ll fix it.

Promise*

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+ only
Summary: Reader, being reckless gets hurt on a mission. Days later, when she gives her final report to her boyfriend Steve, it provokes an argument between them.
Word Count: 3.5k
Genre: general fiction containing explicit sexual content.
Warnings: argument, mild swearing, mentions of death. NSFW/SMUT: makeup sex, praise kink, soft dirty talking, nipple play, oral sex (female receiving), slow fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, and semi-protected sex. - This fic assumes Reader is on the pill. [Cover your stone before you bone!]
Author’s Note: especially written for @always-an-evans-addict‘s writing challenge. I hope you like this one, sweetie.

   New Avengers Facility

“Steve, you read my report and Wanda told you what happened. That’s it. Can’t we just move on?”

“That’s it? That’s it?!”

Behind the closed door of your boyfriend’s office, you uncomfortably explained yourself, keeping in mind that people around you could probably sense the walls vibrating under the force of your voices.

You’d never thought that blowing out the last Hydra base found in Argentina would provoke such a drama within the team, or between you and the super soldier. Usually, you and Steve argued about the group’s mistake, not yours. When the incident happened in South America, you realized that if Wanda hadn’t been there, you probably wouldn’t be alive today.

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Unspoken

——

Another watercolor piece from December last year. The original was supposed to arrive with the snail mail at @ameb-stuff‘s place but it appears to have gotten lost forever. Which is a little sad. At least I’ve still got photos of it, and now you can see it here! Holding thumbs and fingers crossed that the painting will still somehow show up!

If y’all haven’t already, you should all check out Ameb’s wonderful undertale comic UNSPKN. Just be prepared for feels.

Happy New Year, a month late, and Happy Year of the Rooster! 

* Don’t use without my permission, and please do not re-upload/re-post this anywhere <3

Tantalizing: 08

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Tantalizing: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08
Ship: Jungkook | Reader
Description: Back in high school, you were nothing more than a nerd Jungkook wanted to deflower, to get a good fuck from. When he sees you at the club, though, things have changed drastically, and his dominance starts to teeter on the edge.
Warning: No Smut, Slight Angst
Word Count: 5,281
A/N: This is my last chapter from the series, and though it doesn’t have smut and it might not satisfy all readers, I do hope you enjoyed and continue to stick around after this fic to see the others I have in store. This was my first actual series/fic to write and start here on Tumblr, and I’m glad I had such great support for it!

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[SUMMARY: Edward Blake has sex with a virgin who happens to be the young niece of one of the men he works with.]

Consensual sex.

*Some blog names didn’t tag.

Note: In these imagines I portray Edward Blake as someone who did not sexually assault anyone.

Eddie and Liz.

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I hate you │5

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

summary:  The fuckboy can’t help it but get protective when you’re in danger
member: Jeon Jungkook x reader
genre: fluff, romance, angst
word count: 2.5k
warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook badboy!Jungkook
I hate you Masterlist 123 4 5 6 7 (ongoing)

A/N: For some reason, “I hate you 2″ doesn’t show up anywhere as if the post doesn’t exist, even the link doesn’t work on my phone. Do you guys have any idea why? please message me if you do. P.S I have the next part planned out, but it’s gonna take awhile, so please don’t expect it to be posted tomorrow. I’ll post it somewhere this week though. 


You have successfully ignored his presence the whole day. Meeting him, looking him in the eyes would once again remind you how much you actually hated him. He didn’t seem to mind ignored by you either, but then after the class ended he approached you in the hallway.

“Hey” -he greeted you as if nothing had happened yesterday. What else did you expect? an apology? from someone like him?

“Your turn”- you said with as indifferent and uninterested tone as you could. You would never show him that he had any kind of effect on you. You took the diary out of your bag and threw it at him, just like he had done to you the day before. 

“I know you have every right to be mad at me but let me explain”-his words were barely audible, clearly not used to explaining his actions to others and feeling ashamed because of it.

“I’m not angry at you and you don’t owe me any kind of explanation, it’s none of my business, remember?”

“It’s not like that, I.. uh just hear me out”-he reached out his hand to touch your arm but stopped in the middle. To hide what he intended to do he took his hand back and placed it on the back of his neck. 

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Midnight Luxe {Part 4}

Originally posted by nnochu

(Part 1)  (Part 2) (Part 3(Part 5)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: angst, fashion designer Jungkook AU, 

Summary:  Your life was nothing but a drag until you met Jeon Jungkook, the alluringly beautiful fashion design student who asked you to model for his upcoming runway show. Soon you find yourself pulled into his eccentric group of friends and their enticing world of fashion, sex and music, a world that may ultimately leave your heart in pieces.

Inspired by the anime/manga Paradise Kiss ♥


The day after your accidental meeting with Jungkook in the library, your brain was swamped with thoughts of him,  of that beautiful black velvet dress and the dim and dusty ex-bar that the four of them so passionately made clothes in day and night.

You could still feel the way the soft material of the dress felt against your sensitive skin, you could still remember how it had hung so luxuriously off your frame. It clung to you in all the right places giving you a flawless silhouette. 

The dress was all that was present in your mind as you had listened to the monotonous droning of your mother when she had gotten home. You don’t know why she’d been particularly bitter on this occasion, perhaps one of her friends had been boasting about all that their children had achieved. That always seemed to set her off.

You’re throwing your life away.

I pay so much for you to get a good education and you don’t appreciate it at all.

Ungrateful brat.

Those words had so frequently left your mother’s lips that they didn’t even sting anymore. The knife had been so overused, causing the silver blade to become blunt and painless. 

You thought back to the other night when you’d missed your curfew. She hadn’t cared that at least you were home safe after returning home late. In fact, the idea of your mother telling you off because she was worried about your safety seemed like a luxury to you.  But, of course, the only thing she paid mind to were your grades, what your chances of getting into a prestigious university were and whether you would do the family proud or bring them shame.

Then there was Jungkook and his friends. People that stood for the exact opposite of what you’d been taught since you were a child. They seemed so liberated compared to you, they knew what their dreams were and they fought to achieve them every day. The only dreams you had to speak of were the ones that had been pushed upon you.

But when you’d stood in front of that mirror with that flattering new haircut and that gorgeous dress wrapped around your body, you’d felt more yourself than ever. You’d felt powerful, beautiful, and most crucially, you’d felt so free.

That night, despite your mother’s obvious disappointment in you, you’d fallen asleep with a faint smile fixed upon your lips.

Keep reading

Breath out so I can breath you in, hold you in…

didn’t I say I wanted to use OW as an excuse to do more comic style stuff? then why do I still do semi realism?? :’‘‘‘‘DDD curse this!

Anyway, yes! my first MercyReaper76! so happy I actually came around to do this :’)  Give Jack all the love! he already grew so much on me since I started about a week ago. I main him n DVa n I love them both already so much! especially the lore around Jack, Gabe n Mercy appeals heavily to my dark, angst loving heart ~  n somehow “Everlong”, one of my all time favourite FF songs, seemed so fitting for this trio. so, there you have it- A Soldier76 sandwich :’)

You can see this as an early V-day piece. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

And if you wanna give yourself or your friend/significant other some sweet MercyReaper76 love too, go on n snatch yourself a print of this piece from my Etsy shop :)

Don’t Look Back (ACOTAR AU) - Part 17

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 18Part 19

Nesta woke with a jolt. It took a bone piercing scream and a ground shaking bang for Nesta to rush out of bed on uneven legs, ripping the lamp out of the plug socket. She held it steady in front of her as she forced her legs to move through the darkness, muscle memory taking her over obstacles and through the landing to the source – Feyre’s room.

Fear was denounced as utterly and completely foreign as Nesta surged forward, adrenaline streaming through her veins.She slammed the door open without hesitation, ready to swing at the intruder, only to find her fiancé on his knees, groaning in what only seemed to be pain as he held his crotch, rocking back and forth.

Don’t you dare fucking touch me,” roared her little sister. Through the darkness, the moonlight from the window being the only help to sight, Feyre had backed herself into the corner of her room and Nesta was trying to put the pieces together but they struggled to fit. Until it dawned on her. 

Nesta’s eyes met Feyre’s. The sheer amount of unfiltered revulsion that Nesta read from them made her nearly choke on rage. The lamp in her hand felt solid, she ripped off the lamp shade for good measure, weighing it in her palm as a sickening silence in the room settled.

Keep reading

The Signs and what their good for:

Aries: If you need to sort out your problem straight away then talk with an Aries because they’ll give you good, straightforward advice.

Taurus: I don’t think they even need to do anything because instantly when you’re around them they make you feel comfortable and safe.

Gemini: Needing that one person that will hopefully talk to you about other things to take your mind of everything else.

Cancer: They’ll be the motherly type and hug you and be there for you telling you that you’re still worth it and anything that will make you feel better. They’ll really care for you.

Leo: If you wanna go out anytime bring a Leo because the attention won’t always be on you, they’ll make sure that wherever you go you’re gonna have a good time, their also caring.

Virgo: They’ll give good advice and they have a warmth to their presence that will make you feel better instantly.

Libra: They’ll listen to whatever you need to rant about and they’ll just be super helpful about it and nice, no matter what you’re dealing with they will be there.

Scorpio: They will know exactly how you feel somehow and that will help a lot! Especially if you’re close to them because then they’ll feel and understand your emotions more.

Sagittarius: When you need to be cheered up and you want to go and do something fun. A Sag can make sitting at home doing nothing an adventure or a memorable experience!

Capricorn: They have their own sense of humour that they’ll use to make you feel better. They’ll also talk to you and listen to make sure you get everything out of your system.

Aquarius: They’re that one giggly, cute friend that will be super nice and make sure you’re always smiling. They’ll do anything to make you feel better and will even do nothing but talk for hours with you of you need to.

Pisces: Warm and cuddly presence and they always seem like the candle in a dark room. That cheerful light you can’t dull. Just knowing that one is around makes you feel better and safe.

3

@tayrae515 💕😘

( NSFW Content below that line!)
A-Z Nsfw Headcanons.

Part #2: Robb Stark 👑


A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) :
Playful. Myabe after a while you’d want to get dressed and finish some of the work you never had the chance to because of some unexpected events ;) but he has different plans “Don’t even think about leaving this bed, my Queen”; will shamelessly pick you up and and get you back on the bed then takle you with kisses.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) :
The line that goes down your back. When you change your clothes he’d embrace you in a back hug and trace his finger up and down your back. It gets his mouth watering every time.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) :
Likes the feeling of cumming inside you. He’d look you in the eyes, arms rested on his elbows as your lips part when you feel him filling you, and the sound of your moan would send him into oblivion.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) :
Riding a horse with you in front of him always gets him super hard. All that movement and the closeness of your bodies tightly pressed to eachother and the friction he feels “Careful not to fall milady” that’s what he said, what his dick said was “You keep pushing back that ass on me, yas”.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?):
Is experienced, no need of explaning it. Knows exactly what he’s doing and does it very well ;)

F = Favourite Position (This goes without sayng. Will probably include a visual):
Missionary for him is the most intimate one, because he can have a look at your beautiful face and lift your legs, put them on his shoulders if he wants to, or turn your leg to the side; generally likes it because it can be versatile and bcs of the closeness.
+
69 is something he finds very fun and sexy! You have this playful competition in which after a while one of you always gets the other to throw their head back and moan the shit out of themselves.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) :
Can be goody in bed, likes playfully slapping you on the ass and even biting it if he’s been eating you out after doggie style. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) :
Has hair down there, though one time he saw you shaving and he was curious because of how smooth you were afterwards and he really liked it, so two nights after you found out that “You shaved?” - “Well I wanted to try it as well!”. So now if he’s not too lazy he’ll shave too, but only if he’s not too lazy.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…):
Is romantic with a hint of spiciness! Makes sure you feel like his Queen in and out of the sheets.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) :
“I have something far better under my arm” - “Only if you’re good to me ;)” - “now wHEN was I not, woman?” 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) :
It’s a game you two like two play:
You like being the one on top once in a while, so he let you do what you want to him and you tied him up and straddled him, your flowly nightgown still on you. You were mercilessly teasing him, rubbing your wettness on his hard shaft “Take this dress off or I’ll tear it apart”- “Oh but you can’t my King, you’re still tied up”.
 

L = Location  (Favourite places to do the do):
Right in front of the fireplace, laying naked on fur and blankets, feeling the heat of the dancing fire warm up your bodies, the light illuminating you; skin looking soft, glistening and golden, you were like Gods on Earth.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) :
Pleasing his Queen turns him on more than anything. Showering you with love and affection. Being the one to make your hair messy, the one whose body glides on yours, the one to make you arch your back in ecstasy. That’s what get’s him going.

N = NO  (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) :
Manipulation and lack of personal opinion and drive. Robb loves people with fire in their hearth, ambitious, loving, not afraid to speak up when they have to. Someone who’s violating all of those values is a person he wants nothing to do with.

O = Oral  (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) :
Likes giving as much as he likes receiving. “I want to kiss your lips, but those between your hips” ;) (is cheesy and smug and he knows it!) 

P = Pace  (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) :
Depends on the night, one night he’d go slow, he’d kiss you fom head to toe, will move his body slowly on yours, feeling every part of you on his skin;
Other nights he’d crash on you like the waves of an angry sea, would bite your neck and shoulders, would leave some red handprints on your hips from gripping.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.):
If you two manage to sneak out somehow, then hell yes!

R = Risk  (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) :
Your wish is his command. If you want to try something new, he’d be more than happy to help ;)

S = Stamina  (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) 
Lasts long enough so both of you you’d finish. There’s always room for self improvement. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):
Hasn’t used any toys before, won’t mind if you want to try some out! (Even on him!)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) :
Robb’s all about pleasing! But… he has this guilty pleasure of his and that would be gliding his dick on your slit a few times before going in; it always gets you so impatient because right when you think he’s going to do it and you move your hips up to meet his, he just pulls back!

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) :
He’s a moaner, and pretty vocal, but his voice gets lower and deeper when he moans and it you just dig your nails deeper in the skin of his back, because Good Lord, that voice!

W = Wild Card  (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) :
Has very expressive and daring eyes & very often he lookes at you at those fancy dinners in a very very inappropriate way, and you perfectly know what it means.

X = X-Ray  (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) :
You never thought a man’s cock can be actually beautiful, but there lies the naked proof! And he has a really nice butt too, sometimes you slap him lightly on the ass when he walks around naked after sex. 
“Glad you like what you see then!”

Y = Yearning  (How high is their sex drive?) :
He loves having sex, most of all he loves having sex with you, because it’s more than just sex, it’s fun and loving and playful and emotional! So he would have sex with you at almost any time. Though he’d love to cuddle you some more too!

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) :
Sometimes he won’t even go to sleep, he’d wait for you to fall asleep and then he’d finish whatever he had to do. Will glance at you quite oftenly, lips always curving up in a heart melting smile.

Bts reaction to you wanting a threesome

Request:  Can you do a BTS reacting to you wanting a threesome with one of the other members ? Thanks bb!


Jin

“You want Namjoon to join,baby? Why? Am I not enough? I mean, I’m your man, not him. Because he is rough? Am I not? He can be your master and I’m your daddy? I guess I’m okay with this. We can try.”

Originally posted by bambamisaboomyinmypants

Yoongi

“Jiminie? You want us to tie Jiminie and have fun wiht him too? And how about I tie you both and have fun with btoh my kittens? You are a small greedy kitten. Look at yourself. Nodding so fast. You tried being a big girl, but that just doesn’t work, does it?”

Originally posted by yoonseok

Namjoon

“You want Hobi or Jin to join us? Why? One cock is not enough anymore? Are you a little cock slut? Yes? But of course you are. My little kitten. Whatever you want. I’ll invite them both.

Originally posted by hoseokxx

Hoseok

“I can call any of the boys. Who do you want? Namjoon? You are pretty greedy baby, you know that, right? Somehow my pride is hurt,but still, two people destrying your body is way more fun. I want to see Joonie owning you.

Originally posted by meanyoongis

Jimin

“You want what? Y/n baby, why would you want Yoongi hyung to join us? Yes, I like…wait, are you getting turned on by watching me kissing Yoongi hyung? Yes?! Oh, ok. I guess we can ask him. Some day.


Taehyung

“Y/n baby, Jungkookie? Are you sure you want both me and Jungkook? Are you sure you’ll be able to survive us both. You see, you barely survive after a night with me, what’ll happend when I call my best friend. We are kinda crazy match.

Jungkook

“I guess we both want Tae. Good. If we call Jimin it will be more of a competition than anything else. Let’s ask Taehyung. After all, my cock and his are the best. I can’t wait to destroy this little body of yours. You’ll beg to never had asked this from me.”


Masterlist

CONFESS YOUR SINS, LOVE OR WHATEVER EMOTION YOU FEEL TOWARDS WHOEVER. WHAT HAVE YOU IMAGINED? MOMMY,A.K.A ME, WILL LISTEN.

Also we are playing “Would you rather” so tag along.

*Requests are closed*

anonymous asked:

Look you were just saying a few days ago how horrifying maggots are and now you tell us that SHEEP CAN GET THEM IN THEIR SKIN. That is a whole new nightmare that I didn't know existed.

I was just watching Tudor Farm where their sheep got wool maggots and the sheep farmer was like “Oh yeah we got ‘em just in time, they haven’t eaten into the sheep yet, this is why you don’t want to wait on shearing them” and this gave me flashbacks to my grandparents talking about sheep maggots when I was little that I’d somehow blocked out and honestly I had to go shower to an hour to stop my skin itching at the thought, and talking about it now might make me have to go shower and scrub with steel wool. 

Long story short shear your fuckin sheep kids, it’s actively harmful for them to not be sheared. 

anonymous asked:

Please stop trying to get me to make a decision for you. I don't know which pair of pants or shade of lip gloss would look better on you. I didn't go into retail to somehow hone whatever fashion sense you think all us women possess, I did it to earn money. I'm not going to "help a sister out" if my knowledge in what you want me to help them with is shit. If you can't make up our mind that's your problem, so don't make it mine. I'm not going to tell you how to spend your money.

She chose Mon El

You get to choose who you love. 

I think that was the crux of the entire Supergirl episode this week. Even though Mr Imp (please don’t make me type out his full name) turned Kara’s world upside down, he actually had a very important purpose on the show- he asked the question that was on everyone’s mind since Mon El fell from the sky: “Why him, Kara?”

For all his Daxamite arrogant and brutish ways, why would Supergirl, a feminist like no other, want this man as her partner- both in life and out there, fighting side by side her. 

Kara is a woman and somehow people forget that women can make up their own minds. We actually have autonomy of mind which is rooted in our inherent dignity to make our own choices, create our own path and bloody hell, love who we will. 

Time after time, in this episode, Kara reiterated a vital point- you may love someone but you don’t get to force them into loving you. You choose to love someone and you put them first- always. Say what you will about Mon El, but at least he didn’t use intergalactic power to conjure up a super villain just because he wanted to be loved.

To some, Mon El’s constant ‘wanting to save the honour of his lady’ may have been annoying and even Kara thought so- personally, it was so damn cute to watch him be one-upped by an imp- an alien lepricorn.

Kara chose Mon El…warts and all. No one is perfect on this green, beautiful Earth and in the heavenly and not-so-heavenly alien worlds on Supergirl. Even the delicious Clark Kent has his faults. The point is that Kara has thought about all of Mon El’s misgivings, she has hemmed and hawed about her feelings for him for months now, she has thought and overthought this through…

Why can’t we trust her choices? Why are we eager for her to always save the day with her awesome powers but when it comes to something as basic as her making up her own mind about who she wants to date, we are already making a long list of cons. 

Kara is brave, daring and so many other heroic things but she is also damn smart- a characteristic she needs to be given more credit for; can everyone just breathe and let her live her life? Let her be with Mon El because she wants to…

In all the craziness, it’s him she wants by her side…this boy from Daxam who she yells at, who makes her laugh unfailingly and who always has her back.

A boy from Daxam and a girl from Krypton…just figuring out how to keep the world spinning…because nothing is stopping them…

My concern is that there is enormous pressure on young, even slightly nonfeminine afab people in LGBT communities to disidentify from womanhood either partially or fully, because of what are pretty obviously misogynist ideas of what women are supposed to be. I’ve experienced that pressure personally and know many, many other women who either transitioned medically or socially because they felt enormous pressure to, because remaining a woman who isn’t interested in femininity is so socially unacceptable in LGBT scenes, and continuing to identify as a woman is seen as less radical, less cool, and in some cases objectively incorrect- I’ve had many people tell me I’ll identify again as something other than a woman eventually. So no, I don’t think the idea that suddenly once you’re afab and identify as not a woman anymore your whole life history should be rewritren, misogyny magically never affects you (usually the reasoning given for this is some weak claim about how -affect- determines gender objectively), and now you’re a misogynist who oppresses real women. It’s for this reason that I’m wary of politics which lump “nonwomen” as a group in somehow with literal cis men as though they have anything in common on a material basis at all. They don’t.

I think it’s hogwash and as someone who’s -been- nb and seen that nothing about my material reality changed when I slapped a new gender label on myself, I’m skeptical of those politics, refuse to reenact them, etc. And when the number of women I know who’ve been harmed by those politics, who spent years thinking they weren’t allowed to be women and are trying to cope and reconcile grows steadily over the years (and it will keep growing- these politics are too unstable, cause too much pain, for them to hold out long) I’m increasingly opposed to them. Really the idea that there’s an inherent line between us and them (and I think this is true for literally any genders- cis men aren’t somehow fated to be terrible people from birth) is really just another kind of essentialism, rooted in self concept rather than the body. You can acknowledge shared experiences, certain shared realities, without going out of your way to misgender other people who don’t see themselves the way you see yourself. I think that’s very fair.

this is a controversial opinion and there’s probably going to be a lot of people who disagree with me on this

But it really irks me when someone claims to be a fan of an artist or creator yet they’re really a fan of only ONE thing they’re known for, are CONSTANTLY talking down about everything else they’ve done, whining about how their new stuff doesn’t cater to them simply because they were a fan of the old stuff, getting mad at any and all of their new endeavors because it isn’t something they’re personally interested in.

Stop saying you’re the artist’s fan. I’m dead serious.

You can be a fan (a big one too) of that one piece of media they happened to make, but if you’re a wet blanket about everything else they’re doing and the core aspects of what they relate to and put in their (yes newer) works, you’re not a fan of them specifically. Fans of a creator can openly criticize things they’ve done sure, but if you don’t click with 90% of the stuff they’ve done and act hostile because the stuff they’re doing isn’t what you like, you are NOT their fan.

I see this all the time when an internet artist who’s known for drawing one thing wants to branch out and draw something else for a change. People become ENRAGED that “HOW DARE THEY harm us FANS this way!?” Like the creator somehow owes their fans content that the fans want.

Even if you are a fan, you’re a bad one.