you can tell i was bored

“nicolas, you can’t just listen, you have to obey. now, repeat after me: everything about you is so terrible.”

“everything about me is just terrible…”

whoops, a little car boys slipped into my be more chill! i’ve been really into both and i wanted to do a little crossover! especially because both are about a strong inhuman force that takes control of a boy

*siren noises* real life warning!

I don’t post on here about my real life much because it’s pretty boring, tbh. But, wow, the last three weeks have been crazy. I quit my current job on July 10th, moved to a city 2 hours away on July 11th and 12th, and started my new job on July 13th. I moved further South during the hottest part of the year.

I made a post some time last week about some issues I was having with the new job (I thought I wasn’t being allowed to go to lunch or ask for days off, mainly to go to cons.). This was a crazy miscommunication that lasted all week. I can, in fact, go to lunch and ask for days off. I panicked for a whole week solid because my boss doesn’t like discussing job things at work when customers can come in, and kept delaying the lunch/days off conversation I was trying to have with her. On the plus side, I got some great sushi out of the deal, and also I can go to cons and have lunch. 

Then, once I’d finally resolved that mess…I drove my car into two feet of standing water, because I now live in Columbia SC and it just flash floods every time there’s rain now, apparently. So yeah, that wasn’t fun. I’ve been out all day running around trying to get the car towed and trying to figure out what the heck to do about a new one. It has been. Such a long day, holy crap, but I persevered.

Of course this means no Otakon, sadly. It’ll be the first one I’ve missed since 2009, and I am going to miss the big Fire Emblem and Persona shoots. But having a working car is kind of important, and there will be other cons.

So anyway, that’s been my life for the past three weeks. Hopefully now that I’ve got the job situation straightened out and the car situation straightened out, I can get my life back on track and get back to writing porn being a productive member of society!

giveyourselftothedarkside  asked:

When do you think Obi-Wan found out that Vader survived mustafar did he find out some time before their final encounter on the Death Star or is possible it is when he is on the Death Star and can sense his presence does he know is still alive because I think based on Obi-Wans reaction upon seeing Vader and his appearance he looks a bit shocked by his appearance

There’s probably an answer to this somewhere in Legends (Googling tells me that he learned about it in Dark Lord), but the canonicity of those has always been dubious.

I think Obi-Wan must have known, word would have reached even out to Tatooine, about the Emperor and his most horrifying weapon, Darth Vader.  While the Empire wasn’t a tremendous presence out there for most of Luke’s life, they would still have gotten some news or, at the very least, Obi-Wan would have sought out an update here and there, I think>

Whether or not he knew about the suit and was surprised by seeing it or if he was just not expecting to run into Vader at all or if just that the reality of it is different from seeing it on the HoloNet, who knows!

Personally, I think he would have learned about it within a year, Vader was at least reasonably famous (Leia knows exactly who he is when she’s caught by him at the beginning of ANH) and I very much like the fanon that they would have had a bond that would let them know that the other lived.

The Force seems to often be reasonably limited by distance, obviously Vader would have tracked him down (because he at least had to know Obi-Wan survived) if the Force could be used that way, but it seems more like they just know the other person is nearby when they’re close in distance.  But I do like the idea that they each would have known, if they sought out with their feelings, that the other still lived.

For Obi-Wan, seeing Vader again, knowing that this was the empty shell of the person he had loved so much, it was a shock.  The Force would have been twisted and cold around him, a shock to the system, in a way that Obi-Wan hadn’t felt in years.  I think that surprise could be just as much about how Darth Vader felt in the Force, so cold and dark and evil, in a way that he wasn’t even on Mustafar, as it is about the actual sight of him.

the princess stayed in the tower and read books about better girls, where their hands learned how to hold swords, where they rode in on horses. i gave her books as often as i could. she devoured them.

her princes saw her and pretended to be scared off by dragons. got too lost in the thicket. didn’t want to handle it.

“tell me what it’s like, out there,” she whispers to me for the millionth time. i take her from The Throne into her bed, tucking her in and making sure her feet are covered. 

“boring without you” i say as always, “but i did bring back a great story.”

i tell her about how the stars change beyond the equator. how there are places it looks like there are twin suns. how the desert crawls into you but so does snow. i talk about the taste of fruit and promise to bring her back some. she falls asleep while i murmur about rivers, and then in the morning i bring her from bed to Throne, even though she can do it on her own. sometimes she likes help, is all, and i’m happy to give it. 

she doesn’t want help getting dressed. the men come for me, blindfold masters i have almost befriended. the path we take away from her is always different, carefully manufactured so i don’t know exactly where she’s located. after all, a lady might get ideas about things.

they let me go in the queen’s room. i report findings, ask for fruit in the next week’s supplies, am told not to spoil the princess, that she must be kind and waifish and wanting when the prince comes. i spend an hour suggesting that fruit might turn the blood sweeter and am allowed six oranges.

in the next week, she marvels over them. turns them in her calloused hands. smells them. holds them until she can’t control her curiosity, devours them. i bring her books about rivers. i bring her books about deserts. 

“when is our birthday?” she asks me tonight. i’m knitting her a scarf for it.

“soon,” i tell her, “i’ll come by.”

she rolls onto one side, looks up at me in the dimming light. “I’m glad they chose you to be mine,” she says, and i drop a stitch. my heart sings against the inside of my wrists. i blow out a candle so she can’t see the blush and i can’t see her lips. i know what she means, i say. i know what she means.

it’s twenty-three for both of us. i bring her a cake we both eat, her on her throne and me on the floor. i am in the middle of laughing when she falls silent in the still night. “nobody else ever comes for me,” she whispers. i say nothing.

we have more cake, we go to sleep. i don’t know if she knows i’m awake, but i hear her crying.

the men come, the men take me. the one that smells like cedar always laughs at my jokes. the queen half-hates me because i remind her of “that nasty thing” they forced on their daughter. 

“the left wheel needs oil,” i mention, “she’s having trouble turning again.”

the queen’s nose goes up. she never reacts when i mention her daughter’s wheelchair by name - doesn’t find it funny we call it a throne, thinks it’s well enough to leave alone.

“well, she’ll have a prince in this next month coming for her,” says the queen, “i’ve arranged it all,” says the queen, “he’s … had the situation explained to him first this time. i thought it would be best,” says the queen. “we’re paying him…. quite a lot for his effort,” says the queen.

situation. she means that her daughter can’t walk very far. she means the situation of towers. i excuse myself. i find my girl books about turning down marriage. i’m not sure why. it’s all she’s ever wanted.

they blindfold me and take me. cedar laughs at my jokes. the sawdust one is here this time, even he chuckles at a few. we ride horses through places i’ll never see clearly. 

“so according to the queen this is the last time i’m needed, huh?” i ask them as they walk me blindly up too many stairs for my girl to make it down, “i’m sorry i never made your acquaintance.”

cedar laughs. he takes off my blindfold and for a second, lets me see his face. “it’s been an honor,” he says, shaking my hand, “you’ve been a perfect lady.”

i spend the day with my princess pretending i am not peeling apart from my bones. i just want her to be happy. to get to come home. 

it’s late. “do you think in a past life i was a mermaid?” she asks.

“almost definitely,” i tell her. 

it’s quiet for a while after. “what if,” she whispers, “i don’t want to leave?”

i sit up and look at her from across the room. 

“it’s just,” she says, “i have you here and all the books i need and nobody makes me walk too long and i don’t feel like… like i’m wrong here.”

i want to tell her she’s never been wrong. that she’s always fit into my heart like a puzzle piece. that, more importantly, the leadership i see in her glows like a fire - that, no matter her body, she’s always been kind and gentle and smart and sweet. a princess that could bring a nation to her feet and do so lovingly.

“it will be okay,” i say, “there’s more fruit to discover.”

she doesn’t say anything. i think i’ve ruined something by accident, but i don’t know what. i don’t really sleep. i don’t say anything when the men come take me.

the world outside without her is boring. no mermaids. i put my hand in a river once a day, just thinking about her. 

two weeks later i am awoken by my name, and a voice i recognize perfectly. cedar stands above me in the darkness. “i know two things in this world,” he says to me, “and one of them is about love.”

this time we make the trip without blindfolds. i see the squalor they keep her in. i see the waste surrounding her castle, the terrible place she’s in. rage fuels my footsteps even when they start flagging. 

the prince is already there. he has dropped her twice, cedar tells me. i am already running up the stairs even though i can barely breathe. i hear her crying through the door and i don’t need to get ready - the fire that starts in me burns so brightly.

i roar inside. turn dragon and beat back prince with girl made rage. the bruises on her body turn me into giant snake. i eat the man alive, or at least i chase him from the place, never to be seen again. later i will hear a rumor about a demon that stole the princess from him.

she cries into my arms. i take her down every single stair. i hear her murmur her thanks into my hair and then i kiss her, because i can’t handle it, because i have places to show her and she has my heart to lead.

my house isn’t much but it’s near a river. she likes putting her hands into it. i take her places when she is able, and otherwise i bring the places back. we read books together. cedar no longer works for the queen, but he’d rather live with the man of sawdust making tiny wooden figurines.

i lie in bed next to her, stroking her soft hair. “do you think i was a centaur in a past life?” she asks.

“definitely,” i tell her, and kiss her, gently. she holds my face and pulls herself closer to me.

“will i be a good queen? i mean, in this life?”

“i’m certain of it,” i reply. i can hear the truth ring in it. the bone-deep certainty.

she’s quiet for a moment. “you saved me,” she whispers, “and usually we’d end up married. but…”

i don’t know how to answer that. i feel ice down my spine suddenly.

“i’m not demanding, is all,” her voice shakes, “i’m asking this time. for you to choose me. for me to be yours, i mean. and for you to be mine. permanently.”

the next birthday we celebrate, we are both queens.

2

a soft and beautiful man and the sharp asshole that lives in his house

Questions for gif-makers.

  1. What are your top 3 favorite sets you’ve made
  2. What is your least favorite set you’ve made
  3. Which of your sets has the most notes
  4. A set that flopped but deserved better
  5. What is your favorite movie/TV show to gif
  6. What is your least favorite movie/TV show to gif
  7. Who are your top 3 gif makers
  8. What gif trend do you hate
  9. What/who inspired you to start making gifs
  10. What was the first gif you ever posted
  11. What is that one set you made that just won’t die
  12. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever giffed
  13. Where or from whom did you learn how to gif
  14. How long does it usually take you to make a set
  15. Have you ever had gifs stolen and reposted
  16. How long have you been making gifs
  17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets? How many gifs to you prefer in a set
  18. For the aesthetic, for the laughs, or for the feels what your preference
  19. What is your gifting process like
  20. Mac or PC
  21. PSDs or original coloring for each gif
  22. What fandom/movie/show/person etc do you gif the most
  23. What is the thing you gif when you don’t have anything else you want to gif
  24. 480p 720p 1080p? What is the minimum quality you’ll gif from 
  25. Old dimensions or new dimensions and why
  26. How many un posted sets are in your drafts right now
  27. Have you ever made a set, decided you hated it and deleted it? What was it
  28. Have you ever posted a set, regretted it and immediately deleted it
  29. Have you ever posted a set, realized you made a mistake later but it was already too late
  30. How frequently do you like to post
  31. Do you schedule/queue posts or do you post right after you’re done
  32. What is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop
  33. Do you like to/can you make edits and graphics too or only gifs
  34. A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out
  35. Do you change your giffing style a lot or do you have a set routine
  36. Do you gif with something specific in mind or do you just wing it
  37. What sets if any do you have planned to make in the future
  38. What are you really excited to gif that isn’t out yet
  39. How often, if ever, do you delete old sets that you don’t like anymore
  40. Why do you make gifs
  41. What is your least favorite part about your gif making process
  42. How is your gif folder organized? Is it organized at all?
  43. Do you keep videos forever or delete them once you’re done giffing
  44. Ever had a gif become a meme? Would you like that if you haven't 
  45. Ever gotten hate over a set
  46. Ever gotten a really sweet compliment over a set
  47. Any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs
  48. How would you describe your giffing style
  49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing
Character headcanons

Send me the name of a character and I will tell you my:

1: sexuality headcanon 

2: otp 

3: brotp 

4: notp 

5: first headcanon that pops into my head 

6: one way in which I relate to this character

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Things I didn’t know Desmond could do 1/? - Mah boi pulling some John Wick style right here

I don’t play by the rules

Pairing: Peter parker x Stark! reader

Summary: Peter Parker falls hard for the new girl, and while he can’t do anything about it a certain masked hero might.

 word count: 2135

y/bf/n= Your best friend’s name

warnings: slight makeout? 

sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you thought about it! :) 

ALSO! I! AM! TAKING! REQUESTS! SO! SEND! THOSE! IN! :)

Originally posted by tomshollandss

It happened on a Tuesday. A regular day you might say, however it was the day everything changed for Peter Parker. There he was on his chemistry class thinking it was just another boring class, another wasted hour, at least he thought that until the door opened, revealing the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Standing in front of the class was Y/n Stark. Everybody knew who you were, your dad was Iron man, for God sake! You came in the classroom with a designer outfit and bag that was probably more expensive than Peter’s whole wardrobe.

Peter continued to watch you as the teacher told you to seat right at the front of the class. Not only were you a really pretty girl, with the brightest smile and the kindest eyes, but you also had to be very intelligent, since this was the Chemistry AP class. Well of course she is intelligent dumbass! Her father is Tony Stark! She has obviously been in his labs before!

After that first time he saw you everything went downhill. He could never gather the courage to talk to you, let alone ask you out, so he settled for watching you from afar. She probably thinks I’m a creeper, Peter thought, however he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could watch as your smile got bigger when someone told you a joke, and how your eyes will get particularly bright whenever you got a good grade at math. He didn’t care about anything else.

Not long after your arrival to the school he got his so-called “stark internship”,  or his role as Spiderman. This didn’t change much for him. He was still a nerd loser and you were still  a popular girl that was way out of his league.

“Seriously dude! how come you’ve never even said a word to her?” Ned asked Peter as they made their way into the gym.

“Is not that easy Ned! She doesn’t even know I exist!”

“But you are like, totally in love with Y/!” Peter quickly muffled Ned’s mouth, stopping the boy from saying anything else.

“Geez Ned! Don’t you want to shout it to the world?!” Peter started lowering his hand and headed towards the group of people exercising. “You can’t just go around saying that! Someone might hear you!”

“I’m sorry but, like, I still can’t believe it! Don’t you see her everyday? in the, you know, Stark Internship?”

Since Ned found out about Peter being Spider Man he had made questions non-stop, pretty ridiculous questions, if you asked Peter.

“Ned I don’t just hang out at the Avenger’s tower you know? I have to be on the streets! Besides, she is totally off limits I mean! She is Mr. Stark’s daughter! He would kill me if-”

“Shhh- SHhhhhh! Peter listen!”

This time he was the one to shut up as both boys listened to a conversation happening at the bleachers across them. It was Y/n, looking as beautiful as she always did, surrounded by her usual crowd.

“Sooo Y/n, you must be surrounded by all those superheroes at your house right? You know, because of your dad?

“Well not all the time, but yeah, they hang out pretty often” She responded, trying to sound chill about the topic. Not everybody noticed, but Peter knew just how tired she felt about having to talk about his dad and the avengers all the time. None of the people that followed her around really knew her. Yes they knew about her life and her family, but besides that no one seemed to take interest in getting to know her for real.

That was kind of the reason why he prefered to hide his identity. Well, that and the possibility of being kidnapped and killed.

“Are you friends with them?”  “Are they nice?” “Are they hot?” “Is Captain America a real blonde?”

A load of questions were asked at you, however one catched Peter’s attention again.

“Are you friends with spiderman? Do you know who he is?”

“I’ve actually never talked to him, he’s never at the tower when I’m there” she replied shrugging her shoulders. She really was clueless to the hero’s identity.

“Seriously Y/n? Weren’t you supposed to be Spiderman #1 fan?” Y/bf/n asked, as she wiggled her eyebrows at Y/n.

A blush spread to the girl’s cheeks as she smiled shyly. Of course she had a tiny crush with Spider Man (even though she didn’t have a clue of who he was), however he never seemed to hang around the tower as the other Avengers. Maybe he liked being alone.

The conversation was quickly dropped after the coach told them all to get back to work, however Ned was not done.

“Dude! She likes you!” You have to talk to her tonight!”

“She doesn’t like me! She likes Spider Man, not Peter, besides-”

“I swear to God that if you don’t make a move on her tonight I will stop being friends with her! You have to promise me you will try! Deal?

“Deal”

Could it be possible that the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on had a thing for him? Even if it was the suit she was in love with Peter couldn’t stop the smile that crept through his face all day and the knot he felt on his stomach every time he looked at Y/n.

And that is exactly why he found himself later that night ready to go talk to the girl of his dreams. He already knew the crew will be out with Mr Stark in some mission he was not allowed, so that cleared the way for him. And anyways he was always welcomed in the tower, at least that what they always told him.

“You can do this Peter, you got this”

Peter tried to give himself a little of motivation before knocking on your door,however he couldn’t find the strength to raise his hand and knock on it, he felt like a bundle of nerves! None of his previous fights or encounters had him feeling this way, he seriously needed to control himself! Peter tried once again to knock on the door only to be stopped when the door opened completely, revealing Y/n in her pj’s and her glasses, apparently ready to go to bed.

Both teenagers looked at each other with complete shook in the faces, one behind his mask of course. The girl was completely speechless, she couldn’t believe the Spider Man was in front of her! And had seen her in just some sweats! She blushed deeply as she realised her appearance.

Peter tried to think of something, anything to say to her, however he couldn’t seem to find the words. After a long silence Y/n finally broke the silence as she leaned against the door.

“I can’t believe Spider Man is at my door! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The girl was trying to keep it together, however she was still freaking out, but she couldn’t let her stupid crush affect her! This was her chance to get to know him! She could feel her flirtier side creeping up, trying to smile wider and lean closer to the boy.

“Well- I umhh- I just wanted to- you know- visit my favorite Stark” Peter said as he tried to recover from his initial shook.

“Then I guess you are looking for my dad, however he is not around”

“I actually meant you, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now”

The girl was surprised by what the boy had just said. Did he know her? How come they had never met before?

Y/n started moving inside her bedroom once again, looking over her shoulder to continue “Since I’ve got no plans for tonight you might want to hang for a while, you know, to get to know each other and stuff”

Peter did not need to be told twice before he followed her around and into her room. Well, bedroom was an understatement to what her place really looked liked. It seemed more like a apartment of her own, with a big tv are, followed by what appeared to be her studio with a shit ton of books and finally her actual bed. She went into the couch in front the TV as Peter followed her close behind. She finally seated down facing the boy.

“Why are you here with me right now and not saving the world as usual?”

“Can’t a man take a break every once in awhile? Besides, I’m pretty sure your dad is taking care of that at the moment”

“You are probably right, sooo anyways..You said you had wanted to meet me for a long time, so here I am, what is it that you wanna know?”

“Well nothing in particular- it’s just that- you are- you are a really beautiful girl”

The girl felt herself blush at the words of the boy behind the mask. He probably did have a thing for her then? There was only one way to find out the truth.

Y/n leaned closer to Peter, looking into what she supposed were his eyes and took him by the shoulder as she played with the curls in the back of his head.

“So you think I’m a beautiful girl?” She said with a teasing voice, trying to make the boy a little nervous, obviously succeeding.

“The most gorgeous I’ve meet”

Peter could say this without any hesitation. Right in front of him was the most beautiful girl on earth. Her big eyes were looking at him and she was even closer than before, he was getting kind of nervous, but her fingers in his hair kept him just in place, right where she wanted him.

“So if I’m so beautiful, how come you’ve never paid me a visit before?”

She had started talking in mere whispers, now moving her other hand into his chest, playing with the material of his suit.

“I wanted to!- I totally wanted to but- you know your dad’s rules right? I’m not really allowed to”

She started to lift his mask, revealing only his mouth before saying.

“Well Spider-boy, you should already know I don’t play by my father’s rules”

Right after she finished she crashed her lips into Peter’s making the boy let out a surprised gasp. He was kissing her! They were kissing! He couldn’t believe it!

Meanwhile the girl was feeling exactly the same. She didn’t knew where she got the guts to do it, but she was glad she did.

His fingers sanked  into her hair as they continued kissing, Peter finally out of his trance brought his other hand to the girl’s face and cupped it, deepening the kiss further.

He felt himself biting into the girl’s lips, as a quiet moan escaped her lips. Y/n pulled apart only to straddle his hips with her thighs and roll her hips along the way, giving them both a little of the friction they needed, but not enough.

Peter grabbed her waist trying to pull her closer to him, his hand making their way to her legs, touching and stroking her thighs. They were heavy breathing, kissing longer, harder, rougher. Both teenagers tried to take and taste as much as possible, urgent and desperately, fighting for dominance.

He pulled apart and went straight for her neck, sucking and biting, leaving what would sure become hickeys by the morning. His morning somewhat bored with her long legs moved to her hips once again, before sliding under her t-shirt and holding her closer, moving his hand right under her bra.

The soft whimpers that would leave her mouth every time he bite a specific part kept him going. Another movement yet another time they would feel that friction and that need to pull harder at the other.

Y/n as getting pretty tired of that stupid mask getting in the way, so she pulled apart ready to get it off him, however a noise down the kitchen distracted her. She heard her dad’s voice calling for her! The whole team was there already? How had they missed it?

Peter realised the situation as well  as he quickly pull stood up and headed towards the window.

“I really have to get going, I’m sorry!”

“Will I see you again?”

Peter pulled the girl close to him for one last kiss, a long lingering one. A kiss he had dreamed over and over again.

“Sooner than you think”

With this last words the boy pulled his mask down and disappeared through the window, swinging his way from building to building.

Man! He could not wait to tell Ned the good news!

Random things while rewatching the musical:

Snow… I think those cleaners are taking you for a ride, my love. 

“Just shake it out a little and spray some Febreeze on it. She won’t know.”

Just saying

Awww… Killian put out a couple bowls of nuts and nibbles for his and Dave’s wedding prep. He’s excited, bless him.

Also that suit looks like it’d drown him.

Killian… my darling…. you know you’re the groom, right??? 

He totally plays the blushing bride so well here.

David’s face when Hook is kicking everything 

“That was a perfectly good jug-”

 “Well there goes your invite to dinner at our dining table.”

Does Gold just wait in the back room purely so he can enter dramatically through those curtains?

I’m glad Emma and Henry brought the canoe back to its rightful place.
(I know I know it’s a rowing boat… i think)

That broach and earring set wasn’t in there before…
(I’m gonna headcanon they were a gift from the hubby during the early stages of dating… bless him, I guess he’s only perfect 99% of the time)

Have those criminals on that board ever been found?

So… heart rips… I mean i know it’s ‘magic’ and whatnot… but surely they’ve got some sort of sticky or wet residue around them. I mean they are still being taken out of the body. Why does no one clean them off before putting them back? That’s how germs spread, people. I’m surprised there hasn’t been a virus outbreak in Storybrooke. Organs being exposed to all sorts and thrown around in the dirt and on the floors- and i’m sure no one’s washing their hands before handling. 

It’s terrible. 

Emma should have used this forcefield during the pancakes scene.

*sings*

 “Go awayyyy!!!” 

*magical blast slams the door*

I have nothing to say other than he is beautiful…. 

And Archie’s creepin’ on the Captain again.

I know your game, Cricket. 

I would 101% be part of this conga line. 

Romance and music aside… it just kind of looks like they’re showing each other their fillings. 

All About Writing Fight Scenes

@galaxies-are-my-ink asked,

“Do you have any advice on writing fight scenes? The type of scene I’m writing is mostly hand to hand combat between two experts. I’m definitely not an expert so when I try to write it, the scene ends up sounding repetitive and dull.”

Fore note: This post is coauthored by myself and one of my amazing critique partners, Barik S. Smith, who both writes fantastic fight scenes and teaches mixed martial arts, various artistic martial arts, and weapons classes.

I (Bryn) will tell you a secret: I trained MMA for seven years, and when I write authentic hand to hand fight scenes, they sound dull too. 

The problem with fight scenes in books is that trying to describe each punch and kick and movement (especially if it’s the only thing you’re describing) creates a fight that feels like it’s in slow motion. 

I write…

Lowering her center of gravity, she held her right hand tight to her face and threw a jab towards his chin. He shifted his weight, ducking under her punch. His hair brushed against her fist, and he stepped forward, launching a shovel hook into her exposed side.

But your brain can only read for fast. In real life that series of events would take an instant, but I needed a full eight seconds to read and comprehend it, which gave it an inherent lethargic feel. 

So, we have two primary problems:

  1. How do we describe this fight in a way the reader can understand and keep track of? 
  2. How do we maintain a fast paced, interesting fight once we’ve broken down the fight far enough for readers to understand it? 

(We will get back to these, I promise.) But for now, let’s look at…

Different types of “fight scenes:”

Keep reading

The Problem With Sharing Advanced Magic

The inherent problem with sharing advanced magic is exactly why we all celebrate magic: it’s personal!

When we go to 101 stuff, it’s all pretty universal. Energy balls, grounding, shielding, spirit talk, warding, cleansing. A solid practitioner who has been studying even a few weeks could tell you the basics of these commonly explained things!

Then people get bored of it, and want to move to the next step. I regularly see calls for discourse on more advanced topics, which I call “201” topics. Let’s not cast a shield, let’s cast a sentient fanged 1000 layered lotus shield with twelve spinning sigils represented by four unknown colors! Which is dope. Advanced energy work is a solid place to go and can significantly strengthen any practitioner. Then there’s the 201 of any topic; divination, spirit work, etc. How to go from beginner to adept.

And that’s where things pretty much seem to stop, and people seem to get frustrated. Where are the mystic techniques that take a practitioner from Muggle to Wizard? Where are the techniques that Make Unbelievable Shit Happen? Okay, we’ve all cast money spells. Magic is real. Woo. But I want more than a few extra dollars and hexing my enemies. I want my soul to evolve. I want to walk the worlds and learn secret songs of animals and stars. I want personal gnosis, where the spirits whisper Truth to me, instead of reading it out books. I want to birth souls and make hearts stop. I want some Real Fuckin Magic, some 301 next level shit.

I know there are a LOT of Initiated people on Tumblr who do Unbelievable Real Fuckin Shit (including me). So where are all the posts about how to do it? Where are my posts about it?

I’ve come to realize there are a lot of good reasons I don’t post “301” content. So many that I’m not even sure where to begin.

First off, it doesn’t apply to anyone but me. Ok, so I met my guiding animal spirit. Anyone can do that; I could teach you how in 300 words or less. But the lessons he teaches me, and the places he takes me, and the secrets and songs he whispers in my ear aren’t for anyone but me. I can’t make posts about him without violating the sanctity of our relationship. I can’t share the paths to the places I go without violating their safety or the trust the spirits place in me. It’s not because I’m a nasty elitist who doesn’t want other people to know cool magical secrets. It’s because I would be ejected from my path face first in to the mud if I did. Do I want people to have the same experiences I do? Yes! But you can only guide someone so far, unless you have a very trusted mentor.

I worry that people won’t respect the information I share. I suppose this is pretty big for me. I don’t want people to take my sacred animal rituals and desecrate them in honor of pagan gods. I don’t want to share a hallowed place of healing, and get a message three weeks later from a baby conjurer asking me for exclusivity rights to the holy spirits in my path. I don’t want some rude asshole messaging me telling me they’ve spoken to my guides for me and they have messages to share! (You have no idea how many times this has happened to me).

So I keep my lip zipped.

And I suppose lastly, and most vaguely, I do believe Initiation is necessary to experience certain things, so it’s kind of pointless to share because people won’t understand, believe, or accept your message unless they’ve already been there themselves. “Initiation” can mean any number of things, but I mean it in the way where the spirits or gods take you apart and put you back together as a practitioner on your path. There was a hell of a lot I just didn’t “get” until I experienced it firsthand, that no amount of books or posts or helpful bloggers could ever have pounded in to my head.

I think if you want to do “next level shit”, you have to get there on your own. And there are resources to do it. There are a lot of resources to do it. But you can only be handed the key; you have to walk the path yourself. And I think that’s why we’re lacking a lot of the info we’d like to see.

listen
  • Jake and Amy’s first child is named Nakatomi, because Jake’s been promoting it as a possible name to Amy for ages (“Works for a boy or a girl!”)– he comes up with PowerPoint presentations filled with creatively colored pie-charts, bar graphs, statistical analysis
  • Even a binder is produced, filled with all sorts of documents and printouts denoting reasons they should name their child Nakatomi
  • “Aside from being a badass iconic building, Nakatomi was an influential clan in ancient Japan! Can you believe that, Ames? That’s like- the old Japanese mafia! Our baby can be a symbol of HISTORY, and you love history!”
  • Amy agrees to the name Nakatomi, not because of all the detailed PowerPoint presentations and organized binders (she won’t lie, Jake’s efforts lead to a lot of sex, which doesn’t matter since she’s already pregnant) but because seeing how happy the name Nakatomi makes Jake… hell he could’ve suggested Garbage Can as their first child’s name and she might (emphasis on might) have agreed
  • When Nakatomi’s born, Jake surprises Amy with the name he’s written on the birth certificate- Nakatomi Helvetica Peralta (Jake had suggested hyphenating, but there’s enough Santiagos to go around already, so)
  • Amy’s laughing on the hospital bed in an otherwise silent ward full of resting parents– she can’t believe her first born daughter’s name is Nakatomi Helvetica Peralta, but she wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. She actually loves that her favorite font is her baby’s middle name, and she loves her crazy husband who made the call
  • “If you don’t like it we can always change it,” Jake sheepishly remarks as his fingers run through his hair, “I know I’ve been harping on this Nakatomi thing for months, and that was selfish of-”
  • “No,” she tells him, firmly. “I love it. I love her–” she reaches for his face and kisses him sweetly–“and I love you.”
  • Jake gives her a look of awe, and chuckles. “It is a crazy name though–”
  • “It is. But you’re crazy, and I married you because I love that about you. And I’m crazy too, because I actually love this name- for one, it’s definitely not boring.”
  • If one had walked up to Amy in the street ten years ago and told her that her first child would be named Nakatomi Helvetica Peralta, she would have run away screaming. Although, if that same someone had told her back then that Jake Peralta would also be the father of her children, she would’ve run away screaming too.
  • Now, looking at his face of awe, she’s never felt happier.
  • “I love you so much–” he tells her, and she feels it so strongly–“but our baby’s totally gonna get beat up at school when she’s older.”
  • Amy laughs, really truly laughs. “No she’s not, because she has us as parents.”
  • “And we aren’t exactly fantastic examples of ‘not getting bullied as kids’, babe.”
  • They take to calling Nakatomi 'Tomi’ for short, and even though everyone sighs heavily when they find out what Jake and Amy have named their first child, Tomi grows on everyone because she’s literally the most precious thing
  • As a toddler learning to speak, she keeps messing up the pronunciation of The Enigma’s name, as she can’t pronounce 'Eh’ and 'Ma’, yet, she keeps referring to The Enigma as 'Dee Nee’. In the following years, 'Deenie’ is the only nickname The Enigma accepts
  • The Enigma’s largely the main reason why Nakatomi doesn’t get made fun of at school for having a different name. Namely, when Nakatomi’s old enough, The Enigma gives her a knife as a birthday present, and teaches her how to use it
  • This knife is obviously one of the many knives Rosa Diaz owns that she lets her adoptive daughter The Enigma have access to
  • Amy gets really scared when she finds a knife in Nakatomi’s bag, but upon seeing how good she is at using it, they let her keep it (with stern warnings not to bring it to school any more and to make sure it’s in a safe place so she doesn’t harm herself)
  • Jake asks Nakatomi to sneak him one of Rosa’s top notch knives (she refuses to tell Jake where she gets them, he suspects that she makes them herself)
  • When baby number 2 comes around, Jake and Amy take a more traditional course in the naming department
  • That’s how their baby boy gets named Raymond Terrance Peralta, because “Harry Potter really messed up the whole 'naming your kid after two role models’ thing”
  • Holt and Terry are beyond touched when Jake and Amy tell them their first son’s name. Terry bursts into tears immediately, while a single tear falls from Holt’s eye
  • It’s one of the best moments ever, although the rest of the squad is jealous they didn’t get kids named after them
  • At work, Jake’s favorite thing to do in the mornings is bring his infant son, point at Captain Holt and say 'Big Ray Ray’ before pointing to baby Raymond and saying 'Little Ray Ray’
  • On multiple occasions, Holt has to retire to his office because he can’t handle the Emotions he feels
  • Jake and Amy love calling their son their 'Ray’ of sunshine, Jake especially
  • Nakatomi loves that she’s named after a dope ass building in Die Hard, and it becomes her favorite movie too
  • She also starts a band called Tomi! Tomi! Tomi! Tomi? as a teenager
  • It flops