The Signs and Love:
Aries: You love closely and warmly. Everything you love is forcibly wrapped in tin foil with the power of your will alone.
Taurus: You are a nervous lover. As in, you are a lover who has a nervous system, you know synapses and all that.
Gemini: You have a heart of gold and a face of gallium. Your face melts at room temperature into a glistening silvery puddle.
Cancer: It can be difficult to make you smile, but when you do its gorgeous. Consider not sewing your lips shut every morning.
Leo: A bold and passionate lover. Just make sure that what you’re hitting on is in fact alive.
Virgo: A dangerous lover. A lover on the edge. Someone who can only feel affection while on an adrenaline high, like when skydiving.
Libra: When it comes to love you think too much. If they said they like you, they probably like you.
Ophiuchus: A clever lover. While you may think you have a good solution for every problem, too many of them involve systems of pulleys. Its freaking your significant other out.
Sagittarius: You are a true and loyal lover. Treachery is met with a swift death.
Capricorn: You love like steel toes. Thrilling, dramatic, and often a source of testicular pain.
Aquarius: An elegant lover, all fall before your mere voice. Thats when you tie their shoes together and steal their wallets.
Pisces: A cute lover. Adorable really. Ignore the hunting knife.