There’s nothing wrong with a cold beer on a hot day but sometimes you’ve got to change shit up. Don’t let summer slip by without sipping on this refreshing son of a bitch. Plums, plucots, pluots, use whatthefuckever you can find. Any of these sweet ass stone fruits will work. Level up your libations, motherfucker.
STONE FRUIT SMASH
makes 2 drinks
2 plums or similar sized stone fruit
6 sprigs fresh thyme
4 ounces gin
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1-2 teaspoons agave or other liquid sweetener*
splash of tonic or soda water**
Cut the plums up into bite-sized pieces. Leave the skin on, don’t overthink this shit. Thrown them in a jar or large glass with a lid. Add the tiny ass branches of thyme, gin, lemon juice, sweetener, and a handful of ice to the jar and throw on the lid. Shake the ever-living fuck out of it until the ice smashes the fruit pieces and everything looks banged to hell. Strain out all the big chunks of fruit and thyme and pour the remaining drink into some glasses over ice. Everything should be all plum colored and looking fancy. You can drink this beautiful bastard as is but feel free to add a couple splashes of tonic if that’s you’re shit.
*If your fruit is sweet enough you can just leave this shit out. Do whatever tastes right to you.
** Optional but add this if you like your drinks to have a little less bite.
ET Online: Once Upon a Time' Scoop on Regina and Robin's Baby Mama Drama With That 'Vile Villain'!
We don’t know about you, but our hearts are still aching from last Sunday'sOnce Upon a Time. Why? Well, our highly anticipated reunion between Regina (Lana Parrilla) and Robin (Sean Maguire) was completely destroyed by the news that Marian – who was actually a magic-cloaked Zelena (Rebecca Mader) aka Regina’s beyond wicked half-sister – is supposedly pregnant with Robin’s second child. (Did you get all that?!)
We’re desperate for answers as to what’s coming up next in this Sunday’s penultimate episode, so we called up Once’s spell-binding bosses Adam Horowitz and Eddy Kitsis, to get the inside scoop on all the baby mama drama for both Outlaw Queen and Maleficent (Kristin Bauer van Straten).
Pregnancy certainly seems to be the theme of OUAT’s fourth season, but the EP’s promised us that there will not be another baby bombshell before the end of the year. “Into the finale I don’t think anyone else is going to get preggers. I think we’re good,” Kitsis revealed with a laugh. Phew!
Now all we have to deal with is Zelena’s deceitful conception, and the Maleficent mother-daughter reunion that has been 30+ years in the making. “We’re really excited about Agnes [Bruckner, who plays Lily],” Kitsis teased. “We’re excited about their reunion and this week’s episode.”
Kitsis also spilled that we’re going to see how Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Charming (Josh Dallas) “feel about that [reunion] since they’re going to be face to face with what they did.”
But the majority of this Sunday’s mesmerizing episode is devoted to where Regina and Robin currently stand, now that he accidentally knocked up her sister. (Yikes! It sounds really bad when you put it that way…)
“This episode I think really sets up the two hour finale, but it’s also a really taking a moment to kind of get into the evil queen’s head – Regina’s head,” Kitsis dished. “She is reeling from what Zelena has done to her, and she’s reeling from the idea that Robin Hood has another baby on the way.”
We could practically hear Regina’s heart smash into a million teeny-tiny pieces at the end of last week’s hour, but the once bosses were particularly impressed with Maguire’s interpretation of the scene.
“Sean, we thought played that wonderfully,” Horowitz complimented. “And I think this Sunday you can expect that we pick up pretty quickly right after that and we get some real instant reactions to what happened.”
You hear that, Outlaw Queen fans?! We’re not going to be skirting around the issue, we’re going to dive head first into the drama. “We open it up with a really great, nice long scene between Robin and Regina where they get to just get right into it,” Kitsis said.
Oncers know that Robin Hood is all about his “code,” (sometimes he won’t shut up about it!) so will his moral compass cause him to choose the direction towards Marian/Zelena over Regina once again?
“I would say that there is a big difference this time,” Horowitz explained. “With Marian, that was really someone he had fallen in love with and had a real relationship with. Now the rug has been pulled out from under him by a vile villain.”
Kitsis continued, “If I had any advice for Outlaw Queen fans, it would be to watch Sunday and to watch it live. It’s obviously an interesting dilemma because he’s put in a very tough situation.”
We’re currently keeping our fingers crossed and praying to the TV gods that Robin won’t make the same mistake twice…
Because its currently 2:33 in the morning on Christmas Eve and I can’t sleep, why not write an imagine from the top of my head??
It is 12:15 and I’m home alone, watching American Horror Story on Netflix and eating leftover Chinese takeout because Calum went out with the boys. Just as it was getting good,my phone buzzed and I saw it was a text from Penguin aka Luke.
Penguin: Uhm, Y/N…
Penguin: I have to tell you something….
“This can’t be good.” I whispered to myself and bit my lip in anticipation,gripping my phone tighter.
Y/N: Well, what is it??
Penguin: You know we out drinking and…you know what nevermind. It’s none of my business and not my right to tell you
Y/N: Is it extremely important??
Y/N: Then tell me what happened!
Penguin: I can’t…just forget I even said anything
Y/N: LUKE COME ON
I groaned when I waited over ten minutes with no reply and pressed play and continued to watch my show. I couldn’t get what he was going to tell me out of my head and there was this little voice in the back of my head telling me that I needed to find out. So I paused my show and picked up my phone to text Michael.
Y/N: Mike,do you know what Luke was talking about? He said that something apparently happened tonight, but he wouldn’t tell me
It was about five minutes before he replied and I groaned at his reply.
Y/N: If you know please tell me
Mikey: I don’t know if I should say anything
Y/N: Michael PLEASE I won’t be able to sleep tonight without knowing!!!
Mikey: ….ugh fine
I smiled big and stuffed some shrimp fried rice in my mouth.
Mikey: Well we’ve had a few beers and were drunk but like calum is completely smashed and so is Ashton, so Luke and I wanted to make sure they were alright and making sure they haven’t wandered off anywhere
Y/N: UGH, can you make a long story short??
Mikey: ….long story short,we found calum making out with some random blonde chick…
When I read those last eight words I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach and break into millions of tiny pieces. Calum cheated on me, he cheated on me!
Mikey: I’m so sorry Y/N
I just stared at the wall and felt the room spin around me,my now broken heart beating extremely fast as I felt my body go numb.
Mikey: Y/N, are you there?
I felt the tears surface and a few spill as I replied to Mikey
Y/N: …yeah I’m here. Thanks for letting me know Mikey
Mikey: No problem, call me if you need me
I locked my phone and curled up into a ball and began to sob. How could he? How could he do this to me? To us? I cried for a few more minutes before deciding to call him. They should be ba k at Luke’s place by now. I dialed his number and he picked up on the third ring.
“Hey babe!” He chirped into the phone, giggling a bit. He’s always has been the giggly drunk. “I was about to call you because I missed you and I wish you were here.” He slurred and I rolled my eyes.
“Stop with the lies and bullshit.” I said and he got quiet.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” He hiccuped and that’s when I started to get angry and cry.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what’s wrong! How could you cheat on me? How could you just throw away two years of us?!” It was quiet for a few seconds before he answered and apparently he immediately sobered up.
“After everything we’ve been through, you give it all up for some blonde bimbo you just met and I bet you don’t even know her name! I thought you loved me. I thought you were loyal,but boy was I wrong. ”
“Y/N what are you talking about I didn’t cheat on you!” He yelled at me and I laughed coldly.
“Of course you didn’t Calum. I thought you were different. I thought we were going to lady forever. Was I not good enough for you? Did you need more than one, hun? What the hell was so wrong with me that you had to cheat on me?!” I screamed at him through the phone and he sounded panicked and confused.
“I-I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about Y/N.” I shook my head and turned off everything,walking upstairs and taking off his shirt throwing it across the room.
“Of course you don’t.” I shook my head.“ Just man up and tell me you cheated on me! What the fuck do you need to lie for?!”
“Stop accusing me of cheating because I didn’t!"I yelled and the boys, not including ashton because he fell asleep on the floor, looked at me a smug look on their face. I’ll ask them what they’re up too later.
"You know what Calum,fine! I know what you did and you just won’t confess to it. Just tell me why you did it.” She sobbed and I gripped my hair, tugging at it.
“I don’t know. I didnt-” I said before I could say anything else she interrupted me.
“You know what we’re done.” I felt pain shoot through my body and then it went numb.
“What?” I whispered.
“We’re done. Over, you’re single!” She yelled and I felt all of the life I had in me being sucked right out.
“You’re breaking up with me..?” I said, tears stinging my eyes and threatening to spill. Michael and Luke’s faces dropped and Luke looked at Michael, worry laced onto his face.
“Yes. You thought you were going to get away with cheating on me?” She laughed coldly and I felt the tears run down my cheeks.
“But I didn’t-”
“Y/N!” I yelled but the line went dead. I dropped my phone and fell to my knees, a sob emitting from my mouth.
“S-she broke up with me! I don’t even know what I did! I dint cheat on her,I never would! I love her with everything I’ve got and for her to think I cheated on her…” I said as I felt nothing but sadness, confusion, and anger. The only emotions I had left. What the hell just happened. I went out with the boys happily taken, and came back to be accused of cheating and now I’m single. This is a shitty ass night.
I threw my phone across the room,hoping it didn’t break and grabbed a pillow to cry into. I heard my phone ring and ignored it the first hour, but I eventually walked over because I was beginning to get annoyed and answered it once I saw it was Luke.
“Hello?"I answered, my voice cracked.
"Y/N, you have to take Calum back!” He said sounding panicked.
“Why should I?”
“Because he’s a wreck,he’s been crying his heart out for the past thirty minutes and now he’s just staring into space no emotion whatsoever and he’s really pale!” I heard Michael yell and that broke my heart a little.
“I-I don’t care. ”
“Oh my God Y/N it was a joke! ” Michael said and I furrowed my eyebrows.
“It was a stupid dare Ashton told us to do and we didn’t think it’d go this far. We’re sorry…” Luke said and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“You assholes! That shit want even close to funny! ”
“I know, I’m so sorry!” Luke said and Michel shouted a ‘me too’.
“Tell calum to come home. ”
“You’re on speaker.”
“She wants you to come home, Cal.”
“That’s not fucking funny you dicks!” I heard Calum yell and then skin hitting skin, some shuffling and a door slam.
“Yeah he’s on his way.” I heard Luke whimper into the phone and I automatically knew Calum had hit him.
About fifteen minutes later Calum came running up the stairs,hair looking disheveled and eyes bloodshot.
“I’m so sorry.” I said sincerely and be ram over to me,wrapping me up tight in his embrace.
“It’s okay. I thought I lost you. ” He told me and I felt a wet spot on my bare shoulder.
“It’s okay Calum don’t cry. ”
“I punched them in the face.”
“I’m not a big fan on violence but they deserved it.” Calum chuckled and got undressed,leaving his boxers on and climbed into bed with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.
“I love you. ” He whispered and I smiled turning my head around a bit to place a kiss onto his soft plump lips.
“I love you too Calum.”
Then we fell asleep putting the whole thing behind us and hopefully starting a new day without remembering.
Am I the only one who’s a bit surprised by how closed up emotionally Clem has been? Everything that’s happened, you can tell she’s upset, but she hasn’t shed a tear. I wonder if she’ll break down in episode 5? It’ll break my heart into tiny pieces, but I kind of hope she does. She needs to let some of that out. We’ve seen Kenny yell at her and blame her for Sarita’s death, as well as going overboard with smashing zombies’ heads in order to cope, and then we saw Luke’s way of distracting himself. But what about Clementine? How is she coping? No one seems to be there to comfort her when she needs it, other than Luke asking her if she’s okay which didn’t go very far. She just looked so lost after Jane left, and she just sat there. I think with Luke and Kenny too busy arguing all the time, and now with most of the group dead, she feels very alone. The people she’s with care about her, but she doesn’t seem to notice it. My poor Clem. :(