you can find me crying in that corner

Lyrics written by Namjoon

Because he didn’t only write “I’mma beat that p*ssy like you never ever felt before”

-“Having tight schedules Even tough i’m tired,I smile
Cause in a family called bangtan i’m a not an only child”
-Unpack Your Bags

-”I can be assigned to many places,
But why can’t I find the real me anywhere?”-
So 4 More

-”I don’t know whether I’ve lost the way
or whether from the beginning I was lost
even when I’m with someone, one corner of my heart is lonely”

-”This sea is too deep
Still, I’m lucky
Because even if I cry, no one would know”
-Whalien 52

-“Never be late to do what you wanna do right now
Because at one point of someday,
Everything you did
Would be exactly what you will be” -

-”Thank you for letting me be me
For helping me fly
For giving me wings
For straightening me out
For waking me from being suffocated
For waking me from a dream which was all I was living in" -SAVE ME

-”I just wanted to succeed
the words I tediously heard from others were only that
I thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness
but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment
Without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook
My identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass”

-“The grown-ups confess
That we have it so easy
They say that we are happier than our portion
Then how do you explain my unhappiness?
There’s no conversation topics beside studying
Outside, there are so many kids like me,
Living the life of a puppet
Who will take responsibility?”

-”Life isn’t about living along but living through
As you live through, you’ll disappear some day
If you keep spacing out, you’ll be swept away,
if you ain’t no got the guts, trust”

-”I empty my drink but it gets filled with loneliness […]
All I did was color you in my white, blank paper
But then I realized, it already became a finished picture”
-Hold me tight

-”Hey you, who’s looking over the Han River
If we bump into each other while passing, would it be fate?
Or maybe we bumped into each other in our past life
Maybe we bumped into each other countless times”

-”My mother said the sea is blue
She said to let out your voice as far as you can
But what to do, it’s so dark and there are only different whales
speaking entirely different words”
-Whalien 52

-”The media and adults say we don’t have willpower
condemning us like stocks
Why are they killing us before we can even try
Why are you hanging your head and accepting it already?” -Dope

-”Life is more beautiful knowing that we’ve taken a loan on death
Even light is treasured more when there’s darkness
The sunshine appears after we’ve passed through the storm”

-”Let’s be happy, let’s be happy
Even if we live with these heavy words in our mouths every day
To be honest, I still don’t know
Why am I often lonely”

-“I’m living to understand the world, 
But why hasn’t this world tried to understand me”

-”Back then I thought this was a big place
But my ambition grew too big
That big house became too small now”

-“In the darkness,
People look happier than the day
Everyone else knows where they’re supposed to be
But only I walk without purpose”

-”Outside was a whole battlefield so I bring out the chopper
Every night inside me I quietly fight with myself
My heart pounds, my colleagues stab me in the back
While saying that I became a moron after joining a company”

-”It’s just one life
Who are you living for?
My heart stopped when I was nine or ten
Put your hand on your heart
and ask what you dream was
What is really was”

*This was Sarah for you daily Namnam appreciation

(cred to Lynn and papercrowns!)

Fetus Ashton

Let’s continue with Ash (he was my first fave on 5sos and ok this is going to be really painful)

Originally posted by caniall15

Those sexy moves (ft. Mike)

Originally posted by beforeilose

Ok yes this is painful

Originally posted by waterfalluke

This shirt was my fave shirt on him T-T I used to draw him wearing it all the time

Originally posted by partpunkluke

Oh people remember to put your sunglasses on, a ray of sun has jsut appeared

Originally posted by 5secofperfectioon

Fetus Ash is just so f* adorable :c

Originally posted by caniall15

Also a big weirdo… I miss the keek era a lot

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

So beautiful…

Originally posted by hemmo-butt

Ash: I can’t sing *sings*

5sos fam: Is that an angel singing?

Originally posted by pantlesscth

This interview is just THE interview

Originally posted by yallareidjits

And fetus Ash with glasses… Well if you want to find me I’ll be just there in that corner… crying…

Originally posted by luke-bit-my-penguin-5sos

Ok this one is the last one seriously this hurts a lot :c

the boy by the power station


The boy has yellow hair, fluffy as a newly-hatched Pidgey, and he’s staring at the sky. “Hey kid,” Zenna says, “you need to get inside. Storm’s a-coming.”

He doesn’t turn his head; he says, “I’ve lost my baby,” while still scanning the low-hanging sky. The corners of his mouth quaver. Fuck. Zenna’s terrible with children; she never knows how to stop them from crying. Pokemon are so much easier.

“Your starter?” Zenna says: the boy looks about ten. Maybe. It’s hard to say. Locktown is a city built on crumbling industry, gouged by poverty, crouched in the shadows of the Zapdos Mountains – which jag up from the earth like the spine of a starved beast. It’s a hard land, and it’s inhabitants are hungry more often than not. This little one has sharp collarbones and pointed cheeks. Zenna pulls a chocolate bar from her pocket, unwraps it slowly.

At the crinkle, the boy’s head snaps around. His eyes are huge. “My baby,” he says again, “my Fearow.”

“Your –” his what. Fearows are savage bastards at the best of times, too much for all but the most hardy of trainers – more trouble than they’re worth half the time. “Your Fearow,” she says. The boy nods. He’s staring at the chocolate bar. Zenna throws it over. He fumbles the catch, snatches it up from the ground, doesn’t bother to brush the dirt off before cramming it in his mouth.

“Baby,” he says, “'cos Mama didn’t have any but me and she used to call me her Baby but she’s gone now so I’m the grown-up and he’s the Baby, see? He’s mine, he’s flown off, it’s the storm, you know?”

“You should get inside,” Zenna says, as the wind starts up. It’s bitter and spangled with ice. “Where do you live?”

“Uh – “ the boy says, “uh, see, there was Mama’s house only last week our landlord finally realised that we weren’t paying rent anymore and kicked us out – Baby would have stuck up for me but it isn’t worth it to fight them, no one can fight them, Giovanni would –” and his voice cuts off. He wipes a patina of snot on the back of his hand. “Mama always said to trust in my instincts so I did, I ran and I took Baby and ran and now I’m – I’m sleeping here,” and with one waved hand he encompasses their surroundings: wind-blasted fields, tumbledown factors, the wreckage of a once-prosporous town.

“You’re sleeping rough?”

“Yeah. Mama says – said – trust my instincts and they’re saying not to go back to Locktown.”

“It’s a dangerous place. Here, why don’t I help you find Baby?”

“Would you?” The kid’s face lights up. “Thanks miss!”

“Call me Zenna,” says Zenna, “Zenna Embers. Here,” and she throws a Pokeball. Her Charizard, Candela (named for her baby sister; they have the same irascible, demanding temperament; it seems only right), emerges in a flare of white light: the boy coos in admiration, and Zenna resists the temptation to preen. “Right Inferno! We’re looking for a Fearow –”

It all happens very quickly after that. A mighty roar of thunder shakes the earth. Lightning rends the sky apart with greedy, crooked fingers. Thunder answers the lightning, lightning answers the thunder, and in a heartbeat Zenna is in the middle of the worst storm she has ever known. Rain pounds down like the fists of a vengeful god, cold and punishing. Candela lifts his wings, intending to shelter her; but all this rain is worse for him, so she recalls him and screams, “Kid!” over the howl of the wind. “We’ve got to get to shelter! We’ve – “

Words snatched from her throat. The boy stands in a corona of light so bright it hurts to look at. There is a Zapdos on his shoulders. Its wings are arced over his head, shielding him from the downpour; the rain fizzles into steam against the lightning of its feathers.

And just like that the storm clears. Heavy grey clouds peel back to reveal the brilliance of a blue sky. And the kid says, “Baby! You worried me.”

The Zapdos – the Zapdos, god of lightning and god of the mountains and and and – nuzzles his head. He laughs in delight. “This is my friend,” he says, “Zenna,” and Zenna can barely breathe as the – god of thunder and bird of light and power and – regards her with two ferocious eyes. She resists the temptation to knee; it’s a primal, absurdist notion; but she’s faced with a myth, an actual honest-to-gods myth.

“That’s not a Fearow – it’s a Zapdos “ she says.

“Of course it’s a Fearow,” the boy chirrups, “got the pointy feathers and everything. Thought you were a trainer, you should know that sort of thing.”

“Uh,” says Zenna.

“Oh, where are my manners?” the boy continues, grinning and petting the Zapdos’s chest. “My name’s Spark. Nice to meet you!”

The other day I was really spaced out in my english class bc I haven’t really been sleeping enough, and a guy was calmly reading something he had written for class when he screamed “FUCK” as loudly as he could. I love my classmates, I never stay bored for long. 

Personal Space

Requested by Anon - Hi love! Could I have 2 and 29 with Scott McCall? Maybe one where we are best friends and I have a huge crush on him, and I overheard stiles and him talking bad about me, because they got annoyed with me for something, and I run away to my hiding spot and they both try to find me but Scott found me, and I don’t want anything to do with him because of what he said and I try to walk away but he doesn’t let me, and just some fluff ?? Thanks love!
Prompts – 2 – ‘Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry.’
                 29 – ‘How did you find me?’

Word Count – 527

Characters – Scott x reader

You were walking to your next class when you heard your name mentioned in a conversation so you stopped and looked around the corner to see scoot and Stiles, your best friends. It didn’t help that you had a crush on McCall forever.
‘So, what about Y/N?’ Stiles asked Scott.
‘Y/N?’ Scott questioned.
‘Yeah dude, you like her or not?’ Stiles questioned. You tried to get closer without being caught.
‘She’s annoying, always there doesn’t really know the concept of personal space.’ You heard Scott say and you gasped. He didn’t like you. You forgot all about class and walked out of the school and the tears started running, then you decided to start to run to you hiding spot.

‘Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry.’ You heard and you looked up to see Scott standing with a worried and hurt look across his face. You wiped the tears away and sniffed.
‘How did you find me?’ You asked him as you wiped some stray tears away.
‘You didn’t show up to class and I couldn’t smell you in the school so I came and looked for you.’ He said with a sad smile.
‘What’s up?’ He asked and you scoffed.
‘Like you care.’ You retorted back.
‘I do.’ He told you.
‘Well the conversation between you and Stiles suggested differently.’ You said and stood up, wiping the dust from your legs.
‘What are you talking about?’ He said but then realized the conversation.
‘You heard that?’ He said rubbing the back of his neck.
‘Yeah I did.’ You said angrily and started to walk away.
‘Where are you going?’ Scott asked. You didn’t turn around.
‘Giving you personal space.’ You said sarcastically. You continued walking before you were pulled back into a hard chest and lips found their way to yours. You tried to resist but Scott was kissing you. Your hands found their way to his hair and they tugged and he moaned. This broke you out your trance, you pulled back and took a step back as well.
‘What was that about?’ you asked as you took in his messy hair and swollen lips.
‘I have wanted to do that for ever.’ He said breathless as he looked you over. He took a step forward and you took one back. He looked hurt.
‘You made it clear to Stiles you don’t like me.’ You told him.
‘I told him that because he has been asking for ages about you and whether I liked you. It was easier to say that to him than to tell him the truth.’ He said as he pulled his sleeves down over his hands.
‘What’s the truth?’ You asked and he looked nervous.
‘I love you. I have always liked you. Your always brave, you put up with me and Stiles for god sake. You need an award for that.’ He said and you chuckled lightly.
‘You’re still not off the hook yet.’ You said to him.
‘How will I get off the hook.’ He questioned.
‘If you take me on a date.’ You said before stepping forward and placing your lips on his cheek.

Originally posted by hvproductions

Imagine Baby Lynels

Zelda/BOTW fans hear me out:

If you love cats and kittens, then imagine you can find a couple of Lynel cubs in a cave somewhere. They’re big obviously, but so young too. Coming up to Link’s chest and only covered in fuzzy soft fur and barely a mane cuz its all fluff.

Imagine them [there’s like- two or three] in the corner, curled up against eachother and watching nervously. They’re feral babies, c'mon! And just.. like lil feral kittens, they puff up and hiss and spit at you if you get too close. Yea, they go up to your chest but they’re wee babies, can’t do much.

…And then imagine the mother suddenly barging in and bitchsmacking you out of the cave before annihilating your ass for harassing her babies.

Hayden: “I can’t die again Liam. Do you get it? It would ruin her”
Liam: “It would ruin me too”

teen wolf (s1, e11) sentence meme

feel free to change the pronouns and things to fit your muse!

  • “everything is a joke to me. how else do you think i stay sane?”
  • “they look at you and they see this frightened little girl that’s going to run crying in a corner when she finds out the truth.”
  • “you said you wanted to feel more powerful, right? now’s your chance.”
  • “be a normal teenage girl that doesn’t know anything.”
  • “welcome back to the world of consciousness.”
  • “you’re not alone! you have me!”
  • “i can’t protect her on my own.”
  • “could you at least think about letting him die? for me?”
  • “_____, you can’t protect everyone.”
  • “are you gonna torture me? or are you gonna talk me to death?”
  • “remember all the fun we had together?”
  • “you know he saved your life, right?”
  • “just do it for ______. she’s in serious danger and i’m talking around the clock danger.”
  • “it’s ______, it’s impossible not to like her.”
  • “i shouldn’t say i told you so. it’s not strong enough. how about…i’m always right and you should listen to whatever i have to say and never disagree ever for the sake of your livelihood.”
  • “you could smile, at least. you know the saying. never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile!”
  • “smile, ______, i’m buying you a dress!”
  • “you can’t call skin like yours pale, not skin that perfect.”
  • “just remember, you can’t be everywhere all the time.”
  • “it’s not your fault. you got tricked by a pretty face.”
  • “there are no other girls besides ______.”
  • “i don’t care. i don’t want compliments. i will not fall prey to society’s desire to turn girls into emotionally insecure neurotics who pull up their dresses at the first flattering remark.”
  • “well, i think you look beautiful.”
  • “______, get off your cute little ass and dance with me now.”
  • “______, i’ve had a crush on you since the third grade! and i know that somewhere, inside that cold, lifeless exterior, there’s an actual human soul.”
  • “sorry, i just really like hearing you laugh and i love your smile.”
  • “don’t kill her. please.”
  • “we should really get back to the dance.”

youroldwiseowl  asked:

I'd like to ask for a songfic. Some fluffy fluff Akashi and the song "For Myself" by Hiroshi Kamiya (lol yes his own seiyuu xD) if you can't find the translation I'd link it for you ^^

{ your lonely eyes and your crying voice }

Akashi sighed, looking at you glaring at him from a corner. You looked like a cat ready to attack him if he were to even get close to you. You hissed at him when he took a step closer and his lips twitched. “You think this is funny?”

“A little.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me what to feel!”

He suppressed his laughter and earned another glare from you. “I’m sorry.” He crouched down and held out his hand, “I apologize. That was inconsiderate of me and I promise that I’ll make up for it.”

“How?! I’m ruined.” You snapped, burying your face in your arms and groaning. “He’ll think I’m a complete weirdo.”

“You’re not.”

“Why did you send him that derp? There goes my chances with him out the window.”

“Then he’s not worth it.”

You scowled at him, “Sei. Please.”

“I’ll make sure he knows.”


“You had a momentary lapse of judgment in expression.”

Pause. Glare. “I hate you.”

“Would you like me to talk to him about it?” 

“You have to. It’s your responsibility.”

“Will you stop crying then?”

“I’m not crying.” 

A pfft escaped his lips unintentionally.

“Did you laugh at me?”

“I would never.”

The signs when high

Aries: constant laughter. they can’t even stop to breathe. when will the torment end

Taurus: falls asleep after eating one fucking brownie

Gemini: probably thinks they’re a world-class soprano or some shit like that


Leo: keeps trying to say tongue twisters but gets them hilariously mixed up


Libra: eats all the food in the kitchen, then starts to cry when they can’t find any more

Scorpio: finds random videos on youtube (like Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared) and watches them like they’ve never seen something so beautiful in the entirety of their lives

Sagittarius: makes up shitty jokes but thinks they’re fucking hilarious

Capricorn: thinks Sagittarius’s jokes are hilarious and pees their pants laughing

Aquarius: tries to do impressions of celebrities but fails

Pisces: silently stands in the corner and stares at everyone

“In this days you can find me at a corner of a coffee shop, reading a book or mindlessly writing in my journal. Sometimes you’ll see me wondering at the sea’s shore with my head tilted back and my eyes closed.

Yes, I am happy, so much that I cry and my stomach aches of laughing too hard.

But yes, I am sometimes sad…oh the nostalgia runs deep as the sea, and cold as the loneliness of that corner at the coffee shop.

No, it doesn’t always last long.”

—  a.g.w
Don't Leave Me Alone – Minho

Requests: Can you do a Minho x reader imagine?


Hi! Can i have a minho fluff where you get stung and go through the changing and see horrible things and you push away anyone who tried to see you but they send minho because they know you wont push him away. He finds you crying in a corner and comforts you with lots and lots of fluff and kisses! ILY xx


All you could see was darkness. But just because you couldn’t see anything didn’t mean you couldn’t feel the immense pain weaving throughout your entire body. It was everywhere, in your fingertips, all the way up your arms and down to your toes. 

You couldn’t really explain the pain, not that you really had a chance to. It was a mixture between a sharp sting and a dull ache. Like the aftermath of being stabbed hundreds of times. 

You could hear voices, see flashes and feel other people’s hands running over you. Shouts echoed all around you, but you couldn’t hear what they were saying. It was safe to say you hated this feeling. 

And then came the memories. 

Ever since you arrived in the Glade, you wanted to remember. You wanted your memories back. There were even a few moments where you had the stupid idea to purposely get stung by a Griever so that you could go through the Changing. And now that you were, you felt even more stupid that originally thought. 

For what felt like hours, but might’ve only been minutes, you could see the people in white clothes, hear the vaguely familiar voices, and see the world that you’d been forced to forget. The word ‘wicked’ would repeatedly come up, along with the words 'flare’ and 'crank’. And you knew what all of them meant. 

And you wished you’d never remembered any of it. 

But then it was gone, along with the pain and suffering. Everything numbed, and then, as you opened your eyes slowly, you saw reality once again. You were faced with the wooden ceiling of the first-aid hut. 

The searing pain all over had been replaced with an ache in your back from lying on the uncomfortable beds for who knew how long. 

But you weren’t alone in that room. “Oh, thank God. Guys, she’s awake!” an all too familiar, yet suddenly more terrifying voice rang out. You sat up, startled by the sudden shouting. Thomas stood at the end of the bed, looking out in the direction of the door. A few seconds later, Alby and Newt came rushing in. 

You only stared at Thomas. The Changing had shown you so much about him, and now you didn’t even want to be in the same room as him. You pushed yourself back in fear, until your back pressed against the wooden head of the bed. “Get out,” you whispered, staring at Thomas with an intensity that visibly shocked him. 

Two Medjacks, Clint and Jeff, ran in from behind Alby and Newt. They both moved to your sides, saying things to you that you didn’t bother paying attention to. “Get out,” you repeated, more harshly. 

“Y/N, you’re okay. Everything’s okay,” Jeff said, putting a hand lightly against your arm. But you shook it off, angry tears welling in your eyes. 

“Get out, get out, get out!” you screamed insanely. You brought your knees up to your chest as Clint and Jeff stood up and backed away slowly. Your hands started to shake, and your breathing quickened, and you couldn’t control any of it. 

“Y/N, just calm down, okay? You’re going to be fine, just tell us what’s wrong,” Newt said, slowly moving towards you. 

“Please, please,” you whimpered, rocking back and forth, holding hand-fulls of your hair in your hands. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” you shouted. 

Newt jumped in shock and backed away. Alby began to push everyone out of the room, and you let out a struggled cry. “Alright, all you shanks out,” he said. Before walking out the door himself, he shouted something to the others, who’d already gone back outside. “Hey, somebody get Minho!”

Everything felt so overwhelming. You didn’t want to be in the Glade with Thomas, but you couldn’t exactly just leave. You were too afraid to go back into the Maze, and on the slimmest chance that you’d actually get out, you couldn’t face the real world knowing what it looked like. You were ultimately trapped. 

You buried your head into your arms and tried to calm yourself down, but everything was too hard. It would always be too hard. 

Suddenly, someone slowed to a stop at the doorway. You glanced up timidly, seeing Minho standing there, looking both happy you were awake and shocked at the state of you. 

Minho was your best-friend; even after everything you’d just gone through, he still was. “Hey,” he said breathlessly, seemingly unsure of what else he could say. 

You were going to reply, but instead of words, you only choked out a small sob in return. Minho gave you a sad smile, and walked over to you. He sat down next to you against the head of the bed and put an arm around your shoulder. 

You unintentionally curled into him, letting out another muffled cry. “Shh, shh, stop being such a baby,” Minho said. You smiled, despite how you felt. Minho had that sort of brutal honesty and lack of ability to sugar-coat things that could either make a situation a lot worse or a lot better. In this case, it was the latter. 

Telling you 'it’ll be okay’ or 'it’s fine’ didn’t make you feel any better. But making you laugh would. “Thanks,” you said, half honestly, half sarcastically. 

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked cautiously, careful not to make you feel even worse than you already did.

You shook your head. The last thing you wanted to do was talk about it; you weren’t even sure you could. “I don’t think I’ll ever wanna talk about it.”

“It was that bad?” Minho asked, raising his eyebrows. You nodded half-heartedly. “I’m gonna need to be more careful, I’m too handsome to be messed up by a Griever.”

Once again, you smiled, this time smacking his shoulder. Minho huffed out a small laugh and looked down to you, rubbing your shoulder lightly. He kissed the top of your head, just at your hairline, and leaned his head against yours. “You should get some sleep, you look like klunk.”

“I’m swooning,” you said sarcastically. You closed your eyes and exhaled slowly. You were tired, but you didn’t want the inevitable nightmares of the memories to come. 

Minho seemed to notice your hesitance. “Hey, c'mon, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here if you need,” he said sweetly. 

“Thank you,” you said quietly. Then, you shuffled around until you were comfortable in his arms, and cuddled into his side. Thankfully, he didn’t decline the gesture. 

And you fell asleep like that, in his arms, knowing that he’d be there for you whenever you needed. And at that point, that was all you needed. 


i hit my ankle bone on something trying to get to my parents bc they were yelling at me and now its rly sore and there’s a bump on the bone and basically moral of the story is never listen to your parents

*Requests are open*


Ficlet: Green Bows

A little St Patrick’s Day SQ ficlet :) 

Regina frowns as she hears a sniffle coming from the corner of the playground. She stops skipping and comes to a halt so she can go find out where the crying is coming from. 

“Are you okay?” she asks when she finds Emma sitting curled up sniffling and sobbing. She doesn’t know Emma very well other than that she’s in her class. 

Emma shakes her head, “People keep pinching me,” she sobs pointing to her bruised arm. 

Regina looks at the other girl before replying, “You’re not wearing any green.”

Emma frowns in confusion, “Huh?” 

Regina furrows her brow as she repeats what her Mama told her this morning, “It’s Saint Patrick’s Day so you have to wear green. Didn’t your Mama tell you?” 

Emma sighs sadly, “I haven’t got one…or a Daddy to tell me.” 

“Oh,” Regina says quietly before biting her lower lip. She reaches up into her hair before pulling out one of her green bows. Her Mama won’t be happy that she ruined her pigtails but she’d rather help Emma. “Here,” she offers. 

Emma looks up at her with wide eyes as she takes the bow holding it carefully, “You want to give this to me?” 

Regina nods as she takes off her other bow and puts her hair up in a messy ponytail. Emma watches her before doing the same. Regina smiles at her linking her little arm through Emma’s “Now we match! Happy Saint Patrick’s Day Emma.” 

Emma smiles back as she answers, “thank you.” 


“Thanks Ruby,” Emma says as the waitress slides over her hot cocoa, with green marshmallows for today. Ruby nods before asking, “Where’s your green?” 

Emma smiles before pointing to her ponytail and her green bow. 

Ruby shakes her head, “Still with the green bows?” 

“It’s tradition,” Regina answers as she takes her own seat at the bar, her dark waves tied back with a green bow. She smiles brightly at Emma before turning to kiss her softly. She reaches out running her hand through blonde curls smiling as Emma does the same. 

Emma grins at her as she replies, “And we still match.” 

Regina nods, “Always. Happy Saint Patrick’s Day Emma.”

Through A Clouded Lens (2015)

Today the hopeless
Tore down the hopeful
and The world as we knew it
Ceased to attempt, to exist

Today I sat down
and Wrote my last letter to you
The last out of a set
Of four hundred and two
This is my last, last letter
Lucky number four hundred and three
Tonight I’ll bury you
With the girl I used to call “me”

I wanted you to leave
To ride off into the sunset
To get your cowboy movie exit
I willed you to let me die, let me die that night
You were crying, you couldn’t see the big picture
but I could, everything she couldn’t see
I already knew
Despite everything else that had come in fours, and twos
It was too late, death was waiting
She was waiting for me
To finally find release
and You tampered with Nature’s law

…and That is a debt of which I am in constant repayment

Today I’m living on borrowed time
Someone else’s suffering, but not mine
You took the life she came to claim
She waits in the corners for me, I can see her there
Sharpening each one of her teeth, she gives me a subtle
but Piercing glance
She knows that I know, that she knows what I am

and You may not,
You may not find your way tonight
but I promise, I promise by tomorrow
The morning will shed some light
Will shed some mercy on “I’m too tired to keep fighting”
and I know, I know that life is not just or fair
but Too, I know that she can be

While she’s wielding her sword, she has that soft spot
That glance you can see, she’s looking for something worth saving
and What will she find
When she looks underneath?
Maybe you can tell me, so I know
What do you think she’ll see when she looks at me?

- Natalie Fern Bell (2015)