you can do that when you're at home

Do I Wanna Know? (Playing From Another Room)
Arctic Monkeys
Do I Wanna Know? (Playing From Another Room)

Do I Wanna Know? || (Playing From Another Room)

Now you too can feel like Alex Band Guy. 

Listen to this audio and imagine yourself at a pub with your mates. This song, your song, written by you, plays on a loop from the time you walk through the door. Why? Because meta. You excuse yourself to the washroom and stare at your reflection until you work up the courage to get absolutely plastered. “You can do this.” You tell yourself and walk out before you have a chance to think rationally and run back home. You put on a brave face, and run back to your mates and proceed to knock back shot after shot of tequila. Now the real fun can begin.

Batfam as things my coworkers have said
  • Bruce, overheard on the phone as he's leaving WE: Wait, your brother is at work? (...) Oh thank god, that means I can sleep when I get home.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, giving Duke a tour of the Batcave: I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Everyone's really nice here. Except for Jason.
  • Jason, from across the cave: That's messed up!
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie: *sees Cass's hand is bandaged up* Oh my god, are you okay?
  • Cass: Yeah, I just stabbed myself. It's fine.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: What, you think that because you're bootylicious, you can do whatever you want?
  • Jason, nodding: Yeah, pretty much.
  • ---------------
  • Damian: Alfred knows everything, he just pretends that he doesn't.
  • Alfred: Well, somebody needs to know something around here.
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie, inspecting Tim's under-eye circles: You need some makeup, fam. That shit is unsettling.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, to Roy: I hereby name you an official member of the family!
  • Jason: It's a trap, dude. You don't wanna be part of this family.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: Has anyone seen my coffee?
  • All: No.
  • Tim: Looks like it sucks to be Steph today. *picks up Stephanie's coffee and walks away*
  • ---------------
  • Duke: You've gotta be crazy to work here.
  • Jason: You don't HAVE to be crazy. We can always train you.
  • ---------------
  • WE Employee: *walks into Bruce's office to hear a loud alarm coming from his computer while Bruce fills out paperwork, seemingly unperturbed*
  • WE Employee: How can you just sit there and listen to that?
  • Bruce: Do you have any idea how many kids I have?

i know that people who haven’t gotten tickets or won’t get tickets are going to be disappointed, but please don’t get too down about it. going to a show is amazing, of course, and hearing the songs in person is amazing, of course, but it costs a lot of money and sometimes you have to deal with really annoying people and sometimes people hold signs up in front of your face or you’re behind someone really tall so you can’t see shit anyway. but you know who doesn’t have to deal with those issues? people who are at home. anyone who doesn’t go will still get to see amazing videos and photos from the shows without paying a cent and you’ll get to follow along with what’s happening on tumblr and twitter and there’s a lot of fun in that too tbh. remember when every otra show trended worldwide and every night, we’d all get excited and wait for the first ridiculous fan reports, half of which were total bullshit, and grainy LQ pics of what they boys were wearing and doing onstage? and then in the days following each show, we’d get so many beautiful closeup HQ pics and videos that we could watch from our bedrooms and living rooms and feel like we were practically there. the 1d fandom makes even following along with a concert from home a really great experience, so as disappointed as some people may be to not get tickets, you can experience harry’s tour in a different way that’s still a lot of fun - and you get to do it without any of the annoyances and problems that can happen when you’re actually there in person. so just keep that in mind and try not to get too upset if you haven’t/don’t get tickets. 💚

Why Hamilton is afraid of water.
  • Jefferson: why aren't you swimming in the lake like everyone else? You SCARED of the water? Can you even SWIM?
  • Hamilton: well, I do have my reasons
  • Jefferson: pshhh I don't believe. that you're just a SCAREDY CAT
  • Hamilton: well, actually...
  • Jefferson: wHAT Hamilton?
  • Hamilton: you know, when I was little we didn't have a bridge connecting these two islands; and one was a neighborhood and the other was the town. so we had to swim across if we wanted to get home or had to go out to get some food.
  • Jefferson: ...
  • Hamilton: and, you know, I had a dog. He was a good swimmer, and I was around seven years old, so he swam across with me. He was pretty old, so one day when we were swimming across he drowned and I tried to stop and see what was wrong, but then I got caught in the current like he had and someone had to come and save me. So.
  • Jefferson: oh shit... I'm sorry...
  • Hamilton: it doesn't matter, I barely remember anyway. It's not a big deal.
  • Jefferson: then why are you crying?
Drunk/Drinking Starters
  • ❝I do not get drunk-- I get awesome.❞
  • ❝I didn't fall... the floor just needed a hug. ❞
  • ❝Wanna know what rhymes with drunk? Sex. ❞
  • ❝Nothing tastes as good as drunk feels.❞
  • ❝I've had... eleventy twelve beers.❞
  • ❝I've been cheating on you with a guy named Morgan. He's a captain.❞
  • ❝I'm not as drunk as I use to was.❞
  • ❝Halloween? More like Hallowe-’re getting fucked up.❞
  • ❝What do you expect me to do- I'm drunk!❞
  • ❝But then I remember that alcohol existed.❞
  • ❝It’s not called slurring your words. It’s called talking in cursive and it’s fucking elegant.❞
  • ❝I’m totally walking straight, but this damn Earth is drunk!❞
  • ❝If you can’t suck a cigarette, you sure as hell can’t suck a dick!❞
  • ❝I wanna bae you up.❞
  • ❝You're so drunk when I'm pretty.❞
  • ❝It's 10;30 and I'm already fucking wasted…❞
  • ❝I'm almost sober...❞
  • ❝We are best friends now. Yeah c'mere, let's get drunk again.❞
  • ❝Why do people wear boxers? They’re just like small pants.❞
  • ❝I am currently dating a tall bottle of Jack Daniels.❞
  • ❝I’m in Pirates of the Caribbean right now..❞
  • ❝Take me drunk I’m home.❞
  • ❝Let’s go dress up like Batman and Robin and patrol the neighborhood.❞
  • ❝Your kitchen is so far away. Who designed this shit?❞
  • ❝Your cat... has it always had a German accent?❞

February spits; not a lot for this month but that’s fine also you can totally tell which one’s the favorite

anonymous asked:

RFA reaction when MC doesn't come back home because she was drunk with her friends. If it's roo much can you only do Zen and Jumin? Love you so much btw you're such an inspiration ♡♡

~Thank you so much, sweetheart!!! ^^ Love you, too! 

◉ Yoosung 

  • He sighed when he realized your phone must be dead 
  • Went through a whole pizza and various snacks as he sat up waiting for you and watching the door 
  • Eventually it got so late that he assumed you must be staying with your friends, you’d never come home at this hour 
  • As soon as you walked in the door he appears from the kitchen in his apron 
  • A slight frown on his face and a mug of coffee in his hands 
    • “I was really worried! I tried to call you…” 
  • He let out a huge sigh of relief and dropped his shoulders before handing you the mug
    • “I’m so sorry…I guess I drank too much and before I knew it I had passed out on the couch.” 
  • The smell of the coffee made your stomach flip and Yoosung must have read your expression with ease 
  • He pulled you into a brief hug and rubbed your back with a laugh
    • “Well, I had a whole speech planned…but I’m thinking this hangover you’ve got is punishment enough. Come on, let’s get some food in your belly.” 

◉ Jumin 

  • He starts to freak out a bit when you aren’t home 
  • Of course, he sends his security to investigate where you are 
  • He doesn’t sleep until he knows for sure that you’re safe
  • When they relay back to him that you are still at your friends house, he calms down finally 
    • “She never could hold her liquor well,” Jumin smiles and talks to Elizabeth 3rd before they head to bed 
  • When you wake up you find Driver Kim waiting outside of your friends house for you 
    • “I have some cold water waiting for you in the back, Miss,” Driver Kim shuts the door behind you 
  • You’re expecting a lecture when you get home 
  • But Jumin just smiled and gave you a kiss 
    • “Your hair is a mess, it’s cute. But perhaps a shower is in order?” 
  • You apologize for not coming home or letting him know what was going on 
  • You know he must have been worried 
    • “I’m just glad you are safe. Next time, please remember to call me…” he caressed your cheek, “We have a lot on the agenda for today. We won’t be home until late, and despite how you are feeling I expect you to keep our plans. But first, a shower.” 

◉ Zen 

  • He ended up drinking a bit at home while he waited for you 
  • And the later it got the more he wanted to smoke to calm his nerves 
  • He tried rehearsing his lines to distract himself but he just couldn’t seem to focus 
  • When he called you and it went straight to voicemail he began to panic 
  • Went to the chat to ask Saeyoung for help 
  • After much pleading, Saeyoung tracked you a bit and placed you at your friends house 
    • “Just let her have fun, dude. She’ll be home in the morning.”
  • When you got home you saw a half empty pack of cigarettes on the coffee table 
  • He must have been so worried
  • Zen appeared from the bathroom as he toweled off his hair, his eyes wide when he saw you 
    • “Babe! You’re home! I was just getting ready to go pick you up.”
    • “I’m sorry my phone died. It got so late I just decided to stay the night there,” you hung your bag up near the door.
  • Zen brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead, remembering what Saeyoung said
    • “It’s alright, I hope you had a good night! Though, if you really want to apologize for making me worry…I know a few ways you could make it up to me,” he winked and kissed you deeply. 

◉ Jaehee 

  • You were never home late like this
  • Jaehee washed the dishes and scrubbed the counters a second time just to keep busy 
  • she found herself fidgeting on the couch
  • She couldn’t even focus on the new Zen DVD she had popped in 
  • Her eyes kept glancing at her phone 
  • When you walked through the door the next morning you found Jaehee passed out on the couch, TV still on and phone in hand 
    • Had she been waiting for you all night?
  • You turned the TV off and grabbed the blanket from the couch, tossing it over her and giving her a kiss on the forehead 
    • “I’m sorry,” you whispered 
  • Her hand grabbed your wrist before you could walk away and you saw her eyes open 
    • “Where were you?” she looked mad for a brief second but her face fell and her eyes were filled with worry 
    • “I didn’t mean to worry you…I didn’t realize how much I drank and I felt it would be safer to stay there for the night…” 
  • She sighed 
    • “You have bags under your eyes.”
    • “Blunt as always, I see,” you laughed. 
    • “I’m too tired to lecture you right now,” she yawned and got up from the couch, “come on, let’s go to bed for a bit longer.”
  • She squeezed your hand in relief 

◉ Saeyoung 

  • He was sitting at his computer desk eating chips when you came home 
    • “I’m back! Hope you weren’t too worried…”
  • You started walking towards his computer desk
    • “Nope! I figured your phone had died so I texted your friend to make sure you were okay. She even sent me some great pics of you passed out on the couch,” he laughed. 
    • “You’re such a liar!”
  • He held his phone up and through it you heard the sound of your own voice, drunkenly singing karaoke at the bar you guys had been to that night
    • “I didn’t know you could sing, this outta get some good hits on youtube”
    • “Don’t you dare!”
  • You tried to wrestle the phone from his hands while shouting for him to delete it 
  • Finally he agreed and let you watch him delete it, but his face turned more serious and he grabbed your hands 
    • “You really have to be more careful, though…I was worried for a bit that something happened to you.”
  • Seeing his face like that made you feel sad that he worried so much
    • “I will, I’m sorry…” you gave him a kiss 
    • “Oh! That was a good start for your apology. Now only 706 more to go,” he smirked and picked you up in his arms 

6 Tips for Time Management 

Time management is the death of procrastination. It’s the key to success. The ability to manage time right will make you a successful individual in all aspects of life. 

I came up with some tips based on my experience to improve your time management skills. They overlap and depend on each other, so read the whole thing to understand me better c:

1. Organize your due dates. 

Planners or calendars will do the job. I like the calendar in my email app because it sends me notifications and I can access it from any device. You can read more information about the organization in my previous post.

2. Plan your day. 

This is very important. As a student or a professional, we always have to know what is going on today so we don’t miss anything. 

What I usually do: 

I look at my schedule and calendar in the morning or the night before and decide what I need to do today. You can write down everything you need to do. Personally, I almost never write to-do lists because I keep everything in my head (I forget things sometimes though, so it’s not the best way). I feel like I do more from my “list” if I don’t write it down. Weird… I know! 

What I also do, I set up an order of the things I need to get done in my head. The order is important because this way you do things more efficiently and save time. For example: if you have an hour break first and a 20 minutes break second, complete a longer assignment first and the shorter one second. It’s common sense, but when you don’t keep things like this in mind, you miss them, and then you regret.

3. Start in advance. 

That’s easier said than done. When I was a freshman I would procrastinate for days and then I would pull an all-nighter the night before. I would stress so much that I would literally cry. After my first semester, I understood that things can’t keep on like this. It’s just not healthy and you don’t learn anything.

Keep up with you planner/calendar and try to finish your work several days before you have to submit it. 

4. Use your waiting time.

Being a junior I have huge gaps in between classes. My first online class really taught me how to use this precious time. I would work on assignments or online tests while waiting for my next class. I love doing this because when I come home I usually don’t have any homework left, and I can watch as many shows as I want! 

5. Prioritize your assignments

We’ve all been in the situation when we have so much to do but not enough time for everything. In cases like this, do assignments worth more points first, and the easier assignments second.  This way you can reduce the damage. And next time start doing homework in advance to avoid cases like this. 

6. Rest only if you need it not because you're being lazy

This is a huge one! At least for me. I’m a very lazy person and I hate it, however, I found a way to partially overcome this. When I wanna go have some rest and do my own thing, I check my imaginary to-do list for what’s left in it. If I have something left, I complete it. If I don’t have anything I would go clean around the apartment, and then I can rest. This system requires high self-control and motivation. My motivation is 4.0 GPA and thinking that I’ll stress less if do it now. You need to find your motivation.  Also, it’s way more rewarding if you relax after you’re done with all your work rather than when you have a boatload of stuff to do.  Of course, I have lazy days, no one is perfect. I can only let myself being lazy when I know I don’t have homework or exams so I don’t fail anything.

Procrastination is not cool or funny; it won’t build your career and bring you money. Only hard work will. 

How They React When You're Drunk


-actually can’t believe she cares about someone enough to do this

-she mad
*angrily holds hair while you puke*

-all she wants is to get you home
*angrily tucks you in while angrily reading a bedtime story*

-you won’t remember but she will make sure to fill you in later
“You owe me so hard”


-This is so funny to him

-He just goes along with whatever you say
“Can I skinny dip?!”
*snickering* “sure”

-cooks you Mexican drunk foods (makes it extra spicy)

-will take blackmail pics to share with the rest of the team


-so calm
“It’s ok these things happen”

-he acts like your not even drunk and tries to have serious conversations with you

-Chirrut guides you and he’s the blind one. He lends you his stick so you can hold yourself up.

-you keep trying to play tricks on him but end up playing them on yourself
*tries to guide Chirrut into lake*
*falls in lake*


-let’s you keep drinking just so you can learn your lesson
*next day*
“Did you learn something?”

-Definitely the guy who yells “go home you’re drunk” across the bar

-Everytime you try to say something he just responds “you’re drunk”

-hangs your passed out body over his shoulder casually as he walks home


-can hardly keep up with you.
*Bodhi talking about random stuff while walking you home*
*you turn around and he keeps talking*
Bodhi: “don’t you agree?”


-poor guy just wants you to be safe
“I’m gonna swim now!”

-even though he does worry there’s an aspect that’s sweet to it, he likes being there for you

-Let’s you wear his goggles on the way home (they’re way to big for your head)
“I’m a pilot pew pew!”
“I do not sound like that”


-snark snark snark

-gives you drunk facts
“You know 100% of alcoholics are human. Oh! And 0% are droids”

-*you run off*
“I WILL LEAVE YOU BEHIND… oh no please don’t cry I can’t deal with the crying”

-shares every. Detail. The next day

THIS WAS SO FUN!!! Silly requests are my favorite requests honestly

  • normal emmerdale fans: I hope rakesh gets out of there fast he's caused some problems but he doesn't deserve this oh dear lord he's fallen through the window someone call an ambulance
  • robron fandom: ooh the mill is so pretty I love the windows and the white interior roblivion are going to have such a swanky house... you're what,, gonna burn him??? are you kidding??? you can't torch the place when they've only just started rennovating WHAT ARE YOU DOING RUINING ROBRONS HOME JUST GET OUT... OH WAIT HE'S OUT HAHAHAHA

robotkeychain  asked:

Oh oh would it be too much to ask for you to do a vlog-ish video when you're in Boston? Or at least after so you can tell us about what you did and the new experiences ^^ No pressure though I'm just curious as to what your thoughts on Boston will be since it'll be your first time going!

I did intend to make something along those lines! Well, not anything daily, while I’m there, but I do want to get some video during the trip and put something together when I’m back home, yeah :)


Arin thought that if he didn’t kill this man his memory of his mother would fade. It already had, over time. Someday she would be as far away as a star.
But he couldn’t do it.
He had to do it.
Tell me what you did.
Arin dropped his sword, dropped to his knees, yanked the woven baldric from the fallen man’s shoulder, and used it to make a torniquet to save the person he hated most.


That night, alone in her tent, she thought about the cruel cold of the tundra. Sulfur crumbling in her grip. The panic when her memory had begun to slip. The nighttime drug: soft, dense. The fear of dying far from home. No one would have mourned her. Sorrow: like a marrow in the hollow of a bone. 
It had been real. It still was.
But it wasn’t the whole of who she was.
“You could do what the rest of us do.”
She would keep going.

FORGIVENESS, can you imagine?
 ⟡ part ii (part i)

30 sentence prompts
  • 01: "please stay"
  • 02: "I want to kiss you"
  • 03: "when I'm with you, nothing else matters"
  • 04: "I wish we could be more than this"
  • 05: "just stay with me, like this please"
  • 06: "will you lay with me beneath the night sky"
  • 07: "if I could do this all over again, I would"
  • 08: "my life would suck without you"
  • 09: "I wish you were here"
  • 10: "tell me that you love me"
  • 11: "I just want you to be with me, even just for a little bit"
  • 12: "you feel a lot like home"
  • 13: "can we take one step closer"
  • 14: "you're my favorite song"
  • 15: "you found me"
  • 16: "it's nice being loved back"
  • 17: "god gave me you and took you back"
  • 18: "we are a story slowly unfolding"
  • 19: "they said two is better than one and they're right"
  • 20: "i'll wait for you"
  • 21: "today was a fairytale"
  • 22: "I don't want to love somebody else"
  • 23: "I miss the old school love"
  • 24: "let me love you"
  • 25: "let's run away together"
  • 26: "you look beautiful"
  • 27: "I just want to show you off"
  • 28: "we keep this love in a photograph"
  • 29: "if you love me, let me know, before its too late"
  • 30: "love is not over"
TFC characters as messages i've sent pt. 2
  • Dan: i want four giant talking dogs
  • Kevin: im doin squat thrusts right outside of your room, join me
  • Andrew: if im not in bed and im not at cfa, i'll be home soon
  • Matt: let's be swolemates
  • Aaron: i feel like im when moms are going around screaming as they do things and you're like "how can i help mom?" and she yells I DONT NEED HELP and you're like "but you seem mad" IM NOT MAD WHY DO YOU THINK IM MAD?
  • Seth: kinky,,, tender (about machamp carrying you in pokemon sun/moon)
  • Allison: one day im going to meet a nice blind man and then FINALLY i will have no one to impress aesthetically in a relationship. he just wants me to smell nice and i usually do. solid. done.
  • Nicky: snapchat filter: changes the entire structure of my face // me: wow maybe i was beautiful all along
  • Renee: i'm so ready to go into battle wit u
  • Neil: if they lock me up please break me out and smuggle me out of the country with cfa and thin mints
  • Jean: at least you won't be shot in the woods
  • Jeremy: not to be that guy but that's gay

OOF I finally finished designs for alllllll the finwean cousins. shut up about orodreth I’ve never even heard of him.

when your town's urban legends kinda suck
  • Rebellious Teen: My dad used to tell me this legend about a guy from around these parts who wore a pig-mask and was always carrying a baseball bat. He said that if you saw him, he would give you two riddles. If you got one right, he'd whack you with his bat and chase you off. If you got both right, he'd give you anything you desire. And if you get both wrong, well, you'd become a part of his mask.
  • Lethargic Teen: Wow, so was he like magical?
  • Rebellious Teen: I don't know.
  • Lethargic Teen: I mean, he could give you anything you desire so he has to be kinda magical.
  • Rebellious Teen: That's pretty much implied.
  • Lethargic Teen: Then why'd you say you don't know?
  • Rebellious Teen: I don't know.
  • Lethargic Teen: Also, does making you a part of his mask mean that he like shrinks you down so you're a very tiny person and he tapes you to the mask? Or is it more grisly in that he kills you and takes a patch of your skin to be a part of his mask?
  • Rebellious Teen: I don't know. We didn't come out here to talk about the logistics of this dude. We're here to see if he's real.
  • Lethargic Teen: *yawns* But, he's probably not real.
  • Rebellious Teen: Ugh! I know he's probably not real, but it's creepy and fun to think he is. Have you ever heard of fun?
  • Lethargic Teen: If I wanted to have creepy fun, I'd be at home playing Resident Evil which I much prefer to standing out here in these smelly woods.
  • Rebellious Teen: Can you chill for like two seconds and maybe enjoy your time out instead of being so damn pedantic?
  • Lethargic Teen: I don't even know what pedantic means. I'm legitimately too dumb to know.
  • *sound of footsteps on grass*
  • Rebellious Teen: Shit! Hide! *pushes lethargic teen beneath the bushes and peaks out to see who's coming*
  • Lethargic Teen: It sucks down here.
  • Rebellious Teen: *whispering* Shut the fuck up.
  • Lethargic Teen: You have a fat ass. Have we known each other for long enough that I can casually call your ass fat in a non-sexual way. Because you have a really fat ass and I'm only just noticing now.
  • Rebellious Teen: If you don't shut the fuck up right now, I'm going to literally choke you to death. But thanks. My ass is fat.
  • Pig-Mask: *walks by dragging a baseball bat attached to a leash behind him*
  • Rebellious Teen: Oh, fuck. He's real.
  • Lethargic Teen: It's probably just some guy dressed like him.
  • Rebellious Teen: I'm going to confront him!
  • Lethargic Teen: You're gonna get killed maybe. I don't know.
  • Rebellious Teen: *hops out of the bushes* Hey, pig-mask!
  • Pig-Mask: *slightly glances behind him* ...Oh, bother.
  • Rebellious Teen: I know all about you. So... uhh...
  • Pig-Mask: Can we just get this over with. I want to go home.
  • Rebellious Teen: Uhm.
  • Lethargic Teen: *crawls out of the bushes*
  • Rebellious Teen: What do I do?
  • Lethargic Teen: Iunno. You're the one who knows the legend.
  • Rebellious Teen: Yeah, but the legend doesn't really say how you're supposed to go about confronting the guy.
  • Pig-Mask: Oh yeah, I'm supposed to ask you guys two questions.
  • Lethargic Teen: Two questions each?
  • Pig-Mask: I'm really tired so you guys can share two. One for each of you.
  • Rebellious Teen: I'm fucking fired-up! Shoot those damn riddles at me! I don't care! I'm not afraid of you!
  • Pig-Mask: Please don't yetll. Here is my first riddle: Who is the uhh... what is... uhm... what day is it?
  • Lethargic Teen: Wednesday.
  • Pig-Mask: Hmm... is that right? *looks down at baseball bat* Is today Wednesday?
  • Baseball Bat: *wan* *wan*!
  • Pig-Mask: Yeah, today's Wednesday. Congratulations you got it right.
  • Lethargic Teen: That wasn't a riddle.
  • Rebellious Teen: Seriously, that was just a super easy question.
  • Pig-Mask: Oh, bother... I guess your second test will have to be a riddle. Oh, bother. Let me get out my riddle book. *digs in his pants* Bother, bother, bother, bother... here we go.
  • Pig-Mask: *opens his tiny book* Okay, so... this one's not good. This one is kind of racist. I don't think this one is in English. Whatever. *tosses book* Here is your second riddle. What day is it?
  • Rebellious Teen: You asked that already!
  • Pig-Mask: Yeah, I did. Sorry... I guess. *sighs*
  • Lethargic Teen: *yawn* This guys sucks.
  • Rebellious Teen: Yeah, dude! You really fucking suck!
  • Pig-Mask: Sorry, my dad was a lot cooler. I have depression and anxiety and stuff. I haven't really been in any sort of mood recently, y'know. Feels like nothing even matters anymore.
  • Rebellious Teen: It really was a waste of time coming out here. Come on. Let's go home.
  • Lethargic Teen: Finally, can you carry me there?
  • Rebellious Teen: Sure, hop in my arms.
  • Lethargic Teen: *hops on up and smooches rebellious teen right on the cheeks* I'm going to pass out in your arms now. *goes limp*
  • Rebellious Teen: Goddamn, you're heavy. Why did I agree to do this? *waddles away*
  • Pig-Mask: Ah, their relationship is so wholesome. I wonder what it feels like to carry another human?
  • Baseball Bat: *wan* *wan*!
  • Pig-Mask: No, like a living human. Also, since when can you bark like a dog and stuff.
  • Baseball Bat: *gone*
  • Pig-Mask: Oh, you weren't real. *cocks head to the side* I wonder where I got this leash from? Just another of the mysteries of the world, I guess.
"If it's winter and your girl has smooth legs, she really loves you."
  • No. Fuck that. If your girl "loves you", her legs will be hairy as fuck when you two are sitting at home alone watching movies all day. You know why? Because girls only shave their legs when they absolutely find it necessary. That shits painful as fuck. Smooth legs in the winter when y'all are chilling at home isn't a sign of love. Its a sign of insecurity. She doesn't want you to see her hairy ass thighs and judge her for it when y'all are chilling. If your girls got hairy legs, it means she's comfortable. She knows that she can trust you to run your hand up and down her legs even if you'll feel every hair and know that you won't care. If your girl shaves in the winter for any other reason than to wear a nice dress out or to feel nice for herself, you're fucking doing something wrong. Leg hair does not relate to love directly in any way, and any guy that expects their girl to shave her legs in the winter just for him deserves to have his legs shaved with a dollar store razor. ✌🏻️

anonymous asked:

if you're still doing the kiss prompt thingy please can you do 16? i love your writing😊

when one person’s face is scrunched up, and the other one kisses their lips/nose/forehead 

Aaron watched as Robert let out another frustrated sigh, his forehead screwed up as he glared at his laptop, clearly annoyed by whatever was on his screen. He’d been working on a major presentation for Home James for weeks now, and if you asked Aaron, it was perfect - it was brilliantly designed, because Robert was good at photoshop and powerpoint and all that faff (he was the one who made up every single presentation or business plan they had to make for the scrapyard) but Robert was convinced it was terrible, and so it was his fifth evening in a row sitting hunched over the kitchen table, refusing to give himself any time to relax.

Aaron eased himself up off their sofa, padding across the house in his socks. It was the depths of winter, and Aaron had never been more grateful for Robert’s insistence on triple glazed windows and underfloor heating in the kitchen, and god knows what else, purely because the house was so cosy and warm, despite the storm brewing outside.

Flicking on the kettle, Aaron busying himself making them both a cup of tea, heaping an extra spoon of sugar into Robert’s, knowing his husband’s sweet tooth was the easiest way to put a smile on his face. 

A sugary tea would have to do in the absence of any biscuits, they’d not done a proper shop that week yet.

Easing one of the kitchen chairs out from under the table with his foot, Aaron set Robert’s cup of tea down next to his laptop, carefully moving a pile of papers out of his way before he put his own down.

Robert mumbled a thank out, his brow still furrowed and his focus on his laptop screen, and Aaron couldn’t help himself - Robert looked so wound up, and stressed, and Aaron just wanted to kiss it all away, so he did, leaning forward on his elbows and pressing a kiss to Robert’s furrowed brow. 

Robert didn’t react, so Aaron did it again, trailing sloppy kisses down Robert’s cheek, across his jawline, finishing with one on the tip of his husband’s nose, the gesture finally breaking Robert’s serious expression, his husband bursting into the first genuine laughter Aaron had heard from him in days. 

“It’s perfect,” Aaron reassured, nudging Robert’s laptop out of the way slightly so he could bring himself closer, settling his socked feet on the edge of Robert’s chair. “But if it’ll make you feel better, go through it all again with me. Yeah?”

Robert gave him a grateful smile, flicking the presentation to full screen mode. “You’re the best, you know that?”

Aaron grinned, leaning in to press one more kiss to the side of Robert’s head. “I know, and you’d better be taking me on a proper holiday after you land this deal tomorrow.”

send me a kiss prompt

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you're still doing the pta mom things, but can you please write what's the worst thing each mom has done?

  • hakyeon - spent an insane amount of money on throwing hyuk a surprise party for his 18th birthday, even got a life-size cake modeled after hyuk, but,,,,,,,,, the day of the party,,,,,,,realized he didn’t send out invites and had to sit there in solitude with the life-size cake and eat it all by himself,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • jeonghan - instead of finishing his headcount at the museum he decided he could “see all 12 kids” and only when he got home did he realize he left vernon, joshua, and hoshi behind but managed to pick up taehyung and hyungwon by accident 
  • jin - paid hyuk to pour sweet chili sauce into another moms pie at the annual pie baking competiton because jin had spent all year perfecting this goddamn grandma’s apples, nutmeg, cinnamon masterpiece and he wasn’t about to lose to some lame old lemon pie,,,,,,,no matter the cost 
  • kihyun - secretly sabotaged the school spelling bee by getting a hold of the list of words and prepped changkyun before the competition,,,,,,,,changkyun still lost because he forgot how to spell ‘iridescent’ even though kihyun was literally like we talked about it 2 min before you got on stage,,,,,,gOD
  • suho - sent every child a drunken apology video about all the things he’s done wrong while also trying to sing madonna’s “like a prayer”,,,,,,,,it got uploaded to youtube (thanks Baekhyun) 
mass effect mom headcanons
  • Ashley: “I’m calling the principal” when you tell her your teacher embarrassed you. Made you take karate until you broke your wrist. Gives bear hugs and reads you bedtime stories until you complain you're too old. Has a picture of you as her phone background. Wants to speak to the manager.
  • Liara: Definitely the leaves notes in your lunchbox with pintrest quotes and kisses you on the forehead in front of all your friends. Bought you “Baby’s first archaeology set″ and liked playing with it just as much as you did. Always making you try her new quinoa recipes. Always up to date on the Tea™ “I think you need to take some time to meditate”
  • Samantha: Goes to the pet fair 'just to look' but comes back with 3 dogs and a hamster. Sends you funny pictures of them while you're at school. Only has a minivan ironically and never lets you win at checkers. "I'm totally a cool mum"
  • Miranda: Privately interviews all of your friends (she means the best). Gets your prom outfit professionally tailored. Her relationship advice is always “dump them”. 100% waited for you in the living room sipping wine when you tried to sneak back in after curfew.
  • Jack: “You’re not allowed to fucking swear” KNOWS for a fact you're better than everyone else’s stupid kids, but sometimes gets a little too competitive (translation: banned from PTA for the next 6 weeks) Shovel talks everyone you bring home. Probably cried after she dropped you off for your first day of school. It can be hard when your mom just loves you so much.
  • Chakwas: Argues with your school nurse when they won't give you an Advil. She gets more excited about action movies than you. All she had to do was glare at those kids who were bothering you and you never saw them again. Generally laid back because she trusts you, but its hard not to notice her rolling her eyes when you do something against her advice.