you can call me caesar

au in which lancer abandons the grail war to become lead singer of fall out boy

first album: chivalry is dead ft.

-chivalry is great but murder is more fun when you do it with a friend

-i’m an irishman but let’s believe that right now i only speak japanese

-kill me once, shame on you, kill me twice, and all of a sudden it’s my fault i got stabbed in the chest

-god, she’s as hot as my dead ex girlfriend

-my mage is dead and honestly he fucking deserved it

-i’ve got two settings for my spear, big and bigger, but let’s believe the guy that says it’s not about length, but how well you use it

second album: one spear two spear red spear i’m dead ft.

-this time i died before her

-get your wife away from me, i only go for crossdressers right now

-my girlfriend is the legendary king of england and somehow our only problems are the football matches

-i got two albums but not two seasons

-if you can’t pronounce my irish name then you can call me caesar 

-but i was a fan favorite

-i’m willing to bet he got beat up in school because his name is so fucking pompous

-seriously who names their kid kayneth el-melloi archibald

-don’t you fucking snicker sola-ui nuaba-re sophia-ri isn’t much better (it’s probably worse)

bonus track: i’m rolling in my grave because these other fuckers aren’t

hidden track: i’m also rolling in my grave because a golden douchebag tried to steal my girlfriend

with hit singles:

-my girlfriend’s dad hates me but hates her more

-for our first date we tried to kill each other (love at first strike)

-i loved her so much i looked her up at the library

-i didn’t even get to ask where her grave was

-i’m glad to have met you but was a spear in the chest really necessary