you boys waddle around like ducks

Bedtime story for sleepy regressors

Different Doesnt Mean Bad:

Once upon a time a duck named Duckerman was waddling to his pond. Another duck bumped into him and quacked softly. “Sorry, sir!” He quickly apologized.

Duckerman shook his head. “No worries!” He quacked, “Im going to the pond.”

“I am as well. Im Dacklyn.” Duckerman shook his wing. “Im Duckerman. Go together?” Dacklyn quacked happily and nodded.

Duckerman and Dacklyn waddled together over to the pond. The boys saw many other ducks and swans and geese having baths in the pond.

Dacklyn shaked his rear excitedly. “So many friends!” He waddled quickly to the pond, Duckerman laughing and following.

Duckerman noticed a small swan crying in the distance. “Are you okay?” He asked the swan. The swan sniffled and shook their head. “No sir, the other swans dont like me.”

The swan started crying once again. “Oh, dont cry! Of course they like you. Why do you think that?” Duckerman put his wing around them. “They- They say im ugly and weird!” The swan cried harder. “Whys that?” Duckerman was concerned.

“They ask me if im a boy or a girl…but im neither! They say thats weird..” The swan frowned. “Whats your name? Im Duckerman.” Duckerman smiled. “Star.” The small swan sniffed. “Thats a nice name. Why dont we go to the other swans together? I can help.”

Star nodded and followed Duckerman. “Excuse me.” Duckerman cleared his throat and straightened his feathers to the group of swans in the pond.

Duckerman sat down and so did Star. “Come and sit.” All the small swans sat around the two birds, curious to hear what they had to say.

Duckerman thought for a moment before speaking. “Star, here, is a little different than what youre probably used to, right? Youre used to boy and girl swans.” All the small swans nodded.

He continued slowly. “Sometimes, birds arent boys or girls. Or maybe theyre both! Boy, girl, neither, both, a little bit boy and a little girl, etc etc. The only thing thats different about Star here, is that they use they/them pronouns.”

“Theyre the same as you. Theyre a small swan who just wants friends. Star feels very very upset because you make fun of them and thags not nice. What if someone picked on you for being a boy?” The small swans frowned and looked at their wings.

One of the swans spoke up. “Star, im sorry. I just dont understand. Its different and i didnt know what it..really was. I can try to understand, though! Im sammi and im a boy!” Sammi smiled. Another swan smiled and flapped their wings. “Im sara and Im a girl! But youre just Star and i think thats cool.”

Star smiled wide and proud. Duckerman stood up and let the swans play ad he waddled off to find Dacklyn. “I heard what you did over there. You know…I used to be a girl.” He smiled. Duckerman never felt happier in his life.

an unrequited puppy love

imagine a pocket-sized you at a dog park with hoseok and playing tug of war with a small tan-colored pomeranian puppy. hoseok sits at a nearby bench attempting to write some verses but is constantly distracted by the fluffy new friends you keep making in the puppy section of the park. the pomeranian pup rips the rope from your hands, and you go teetering backward only to bounce gently on the soft belly of a lazy black pug. when the pomeranian puppy yips and throws its fuzzy body on top of both you and the grumpy pug, hoseok throws down his notebook and hustles over to join in on the fun. however, his raucous squeals and giggles frighten the two puppies, and they immediately scuttle behind you for protection.

hoseok is outright whining in his failed attempts to befriend the puppies when yoongi arrives and lifts the gate to enter the puppy pen. he growls at hoseok, telling him he should be working, not playing with damn dogs, but hoseok cries that the puppies won’t even let him play with them. he demonstrates by taking a tiny step closer to the pug puppy, who immediately shuffles several steps away from hoseok, bringing itself closer to yoongi. it’s then that the pug notices yoongi’s presence, and the two stare each other down with equally lazy, half-lidded glares. yoongi seems to get the pug’s approval, as the pup throws its little head back and waddles toward yoongi’s heel, plopping its flabby butt down onto his shoe. yoongi scowls and nudges the fat puppy away, but that just gets the attention of the hyper pomeranian pup, who stumbles forward and nips at yoongi’s shoelaces happily. you laugh and run up to tug at yoongi’s other shoelace, making the boy complain loudly as he speed-walks away from you. this, however, only makes things more interesting, and you and the pups spend the rest of the afternoon pestering yoongi and following him around like baby ducklings with their mama duck.

all the while, hoseok watches enviously from his spot on the bench, and later when you read the verses he’d written that afternoon, you find that they are all about back-stabbing friends and one-sided puppy love.