you boys are a dumb lot

BOYFRIEND! BTS - JUNGKOOK EDITION

☆Dating Jungkook would include☆

Originally posted by beatriceindre

-A WHOLE LOT OF AWKWARDNESS (before the emergence of the cocky muscle pig)

 -We all know kookie is a shy bunny so dont expect much from this fluffy meme ball at the begininning

-It would probably take few months(or years) for kookie to hold your hand 

 -FoR rEaL Tho

 -This bunny would be his own enemy when it came to intiating skinship 

 - ‘Y/N LimBs aRe finAlLy FreE–..oh no .. s/he’s eating some chips now… ‘oh man holy shit’ “ 

-MEMEMEMEMEMEMESSSS

 - Your messages between each other would just be full on meme

 - because meme is his favourite language

-only being able to talk to you through text 

 - tHe poor bOY woUld bE fRoZeN iN front of yOU

-Going to the hyungs for advice

 -but ends up getting teased T.T

-Lots of amusement park and active dates… you better bring your asthma pump with you..i mean you are dating jeon jungkook after all

 -IRON MAN NEED I SAY MORE 

 - Taking nothing but ugly pictures of each other

-and using them as blackmail weapons

 - YOUr wHOle family lOVe hiM

 -you look like the devil besides him to them he can do no wrong

-you two being the 'no you hang up first’ couple in the beginning but now he just hangs up 

 -tbh you both get off of annoying each other

 - (video calling your dad) 

You:Daddy! How are you? 

《A wild Jungkook appears behind you》 

Jungkook: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Daddy’s fine… wHO iS– 

 Throws your phone out the window 

 -” Lets never speak of this again" 

“Since when did you become 'Daddy’? ” 

“Hussshhh~~( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ”

 - You going to watch their dance practices = him forcing the memebers to dress up in live performance attire 

 -Jimin having to accept that kookie is taken T.T

- “Im okay rlly..anyways Taehyung’s free ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)…”

 -If you’re short》You being teased mercilessly; Picked up at random times; literally being smothered when you hug him ; being called cuTE all tHE tIME; SPINS ALL THE TIME

 -If you’re tall》 marvelling at your beautiful long legs; no discrimination YOU’D ALSO BE CALLED CUTE ALL THE TIME; Seriously kookie would marvel at how elegant you looked; him being able to rest hishead on your shoulder,; KOOKIE SAID HE LIKES TALL GIRLS SO~~(i nEeD tO gROw) 

 - A lot of inside jokes… people just end up thinking you two are dumb beans -

 - Dont forget all the meme dances #1 Dance couple

-You guys would probably end up uploading a video with all of your signature meme dances combined 

 -Anime marathons~~~ if your not a fan of anime. you soon will be

SEXY TIMES (oH gOD nO)

Expectation:

Originally posted by ultranicolet

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Originally posted by queenwithcollars


REALITY (☆_☆)

Originally posted by kpoptrashandproud

Originally posted by mayfifolle

Originally posted by bts-yes-please

Originally posted by reneemallen

-You’d probably have to initiate any kind of intimacy 

-but once he feels comfortable with you –_-_-_-_-_-_ R.I.P YOU

-sERioUSLy- This boy would be a fuckin incubus once his shyness is gone

-kOoKiE tHe pErvErT iS bOrN

-You’d have to fence him off from you

-He wouldnt really be into public teasing because he’s a really private person

-if he decided to initiate it, he’d be fine

-THIGH RIDING

-A WHOLE LOT OF THIGH RIDING

-YOU BETTER WORSHIP THEM THIGHS

-You getting angry when he leaves visble hickeys but him still continuing

-You then plan on getting him back but then realise the massive sHit StOrm it would create so you back down

-instead you hide all his timberlands and replace all his white shirts with brony merch because you believe everyone should love my little pony 

Originally posted by kpopruinedmy-soul

- He wouldnt really be into PDA especially in front of the members. it would be too embarrassing for him.. he stiLl sHY and the hyungs have no mercy

☆Overall kookie would be a fun and chill boyfriend, a bit sensitive as long as you’re okay with dishing out hugs and affirmations then there should be no problem☆

Admin noodlecat

Voltron Ships in a Nutshell
  • //Positive version because I ain't about bashing ships//
  • Klance: "hey man sharp work out there. i'm with you but leave the math to pidge" gays in space, red and blue aesthetic *insert bonding moment*
  • Sheith: "it's killing me when you're away, but i'll save you as many times as it takes. it's good to have you back, i love you baby" *tender shoulder touch*
  • Kallura: "it's not what's in your blood, it's who you are that counts" alien leader power couple, red and pink aesthetic *random but appreciated hug*
  • Shallura: resident space dad meets resident space mom. do not mess with this power couple. when separated they'll keep moving on, even when the other is "...completely irreplacable" *throws into escape pod*
  • Hance: "THE HUNTERS HAVE BECOME THE HUNTED" friends to lovers aesthetic, mutual support. they probably have movie nights, such pure dorks :)
  • Pidgance/Pance: ouran high school host club vibes. gamer dweebs, most definitely gamer dweebs. spend their free time judging people, and roasting each other (read: roasting lance)
  • Pallura: "i like you more than peanut butter" strong women who don't need no man to fight for them but instead fight for their beliefs and loved ones <3
  • Punk/Hidge: nerdy science nerds. started out tolerating each other, but by season two they were crying because they had to go on separate missions if that's not solid development i don't know what is
  • Kidge: full on conspiracy theorists. fight about bigfoot and mothman more often than you'd think. "my name is keith, i'm sooo emo". look me in the eye and tell me keith didn't protect pidge when she crashed into him during the ulaz fight
  • Shance: THIS DUDE STRAIGHT UP FOUGHT A BUFF PURPLE ALIEN CAT JUST TO PROTECT HIS INJURED BLUE BOY "nice work, sharpshooter. you're my hero"
  • Allurance: "if i had to lose blue to anyone, i'm glad it was you. i'm not saying you're dumb, i'm saying you're a natural". cotten candy aesthetic going on with pink and blue, blossoming friendship as of season three
  • feel free to add more, i am fully aware i missed a LOT of ships

I feel like we often forget this through the punk!richie au and the portrayal of richie as a suave flirty bad boy (which is fun and i love it) but id like to remind you all, RICHIE TOZIER IS A FUCKING GEEK. He wears 4 inch thick glasses, does stupid voices, can’t tell a joke that doesn’t involve an insult, and talks about dicks a lot. he’s a fucking nerd. you think he’d be able to pull off a punk look in the canon book/movie? HA that bitch would be looking like a dog in a halloween costume. He wears his dumb tee shirts and old jeans and dirty converse and keds and we should romanticize that a little more cause i think thats fucking cute. Two dorks fuckking falling for each other. yes please. 

Richie glasses bumping eddies forehead when they kiss, but that stubborn bitch not wanting to taken them off cause then he won’t be able to see eddie. richie doing a lame ass english accent and stumbling over his words trying to flirt with eddie. Richie having acne and braces when he’s like 15 and getting shit for it but eddie still swoons for him.  richie giving up with flirting because he’s just so bad at it and literally just pining and being a shy nerd. richie being gangly and clumsy because he’s so tall an skinny and he shot up too fast. richie loving star wars and star trek and comic books because! he is a nerd! richie being shocked when eddie likes him because????? he is such a fucking nerd???? and cute ass eddie can do so much better??? than his acne plastered ass??? but eddie being like??? i too am a nerd richie, we are, by definition, losers, but ur my dork. I just wanted to share my love for canonically geeky Richie thx for tuning in folks.

If Lup turns out to be the Spooky Narrator though?

Consider:

  • Has a spooky voice (like a lich do).
  • Specifically has a spooky voice that sounds nothing like her normal voice, like lich!Barry.
  • Says a lot of dumb irreverant goofs and jokes and has a sense of humor similar to Lup’s, (Ex: “What will our boys find in Wonderland? Well, this arc’s called "The Suffering Game”, so… nothing great.“)
  • But also gets really, seriously earnest in these last couple of episodes.
  • Also seems to have a deep, personal understanding of just how painful it is to go through one apocalypse after another for a hundred years and really wants to communicate how it changes you.
Signs as Thugisa's best lines
  • Aries: It's a big pool. How many bodies you think fit in here? I wanna say... a lot. Looks like a lot
  • Taurus: Look at him in his stupid glasses and his dumb outfit. I HAVE TO HAVE HIM!
  • Gemini: Whaddup sluts?! Guess who've just got out of prison!
  • Cancer: *sees Rei* *Miss New Booty starts playing in the distance* bitch you gonna me mine
  • Leo: *flirting attempt gets rejected* But you do admit that we are currently flirting?
  • Virgo: Ayo, homeboy looking like shark week, I ain't messing with that shit
  • Libra: Why he touching my man WHERE HE GO WITH MY MAN
  • Scorpio: Thanks for the life lesson, Boy Meets World, how is your repressed love life doing?
  • Sagittarius: Your ass just got looney tooned
  • Capricorn: Can't prove nothing if they all dead
  • Aquarius: Look at that majestic ass motherfucker. Like a dolphin or some shit. A dolphin with legs, and arms... And a jetpack
  • Pisces: Makoto I love you but you're dumb as hell
fifth harmony in fanfiction (stereotypes)
  • camila: smol bean, clumsy af, loves bananas, innocent af (but great in bed), good with words, 1 ex-boyfriend, gay af
  • lauren: badass mf, green eyes that pierce through ur soul, whipped af, has a soft spot for "camz", even gayer
  • dinah: funny as shit, sometimes dumb, polybeatdown, captain, camila's best friend, always shouts inappropriate stuff
  • normani: sassy as hell, motherly, lauren's best friend, chicken wings, straightforward, usually messing with dinah
  • ally: jesus, bible, troy, did i mention jesus? bless you, mother, sweet sweet sunshine, allysin sometimes
  • BONUS
  • sofie: the most intelligent sweet camren shipper kid ever
  • sinu: is always watching
  • alejandro: idk but he's always an asshole
  • ariana: i love camila
  • austin: asshole, fuckboy, dorito
  • shawn: sometimes camila's gay best friend, sometimes another ex-boyfriend
  • clara: best mom ever
  • mike: best dad ever
  • chris: horny teenager but a good brother when he has to be
  • taylor: grumpy teenager or most supportive lil sis
  • keana: usually a mean bitch, but hot as fuck
  • lucy: good friend wtf, or you know, part of the love triangle
  • vero: flirts with camila, very funny and a good friend
  • alexa: gives good advice
  • luis: fuckboy
  • keaton: fuckboy
  • brad: no lips, bread, fuckboy, dumb as shit
  • dinah's siblings: omg that's a lot
  • siope: gtfo norminah is real
  • troy: sweet sweet boy
  • ANOTHER BONUS
  • car: runs over camila

danny phantom is such a weird thing to me because looking back it was pretty much just your standard butch hartman fare with cheesy not-always-good writing and dumb puns and a LOT of cliches and a relatively short run-time and kind of an awkward art style?? but it’s all wrapped around this. premise which gets potentially disturbing when you actually stop to think about the ramifications of a boy being LITERALLY half dead and the reason the cartoon sticks in ppls’ minds so much is because of this disturbing potential for horror which the cartoon never actually tapped into. it’s almost like ppl remember the concept of the show more than the show itself and it’s both strange and kinda cool and interesting

you know what’s really fucking easy to say? Reyna’s feelings towards Jason and Percy were about what she thought she was supposed to feel towards boys that everyone said were attractive and nice and likeable and that she was spending a lot of time with. But then she realized they weren’t feelings of romantic attraction, just her trying to navigate her lack of feelings. Boom. Fixed. Done. Lesbian Reyna has arrived.

4

Just two dumb boys ™


Interviewer : how do you guys stay so humble ?

Josh : I think we just make fun of each other a lot. We just like knock each other down. If I do something dumb and I know it’s dumb, than he makes me feel really dumb.Then I can’t think I’m sweet later on, cause I’m like .. “I’m dumb”

Tyler: it’s like my goal to make you just feel dumb

Josh : And than we get into a room with celebrities and we’re both just two dumb boys

(video)

Cranky || Peter Parker x Reader

@acrilic​: you could write like cute jealous!peter where you start spending a bit more time with another friend of yours and one day peter comes through your window cus he’s so done and wants to tell you that he likes you sm and he just starts rambling and you kiss him to shut him up efmldka i feel like that would be cute idk

Warnings: Swearing, angry teenager hormones™, prolly bad grammar, jealous & angry cinnamon roll Peter, kind of angsty??

Notes: i hope i don’t fuck this up :)) dammit this got too long. sorry for that. this is probably bs but heck it’s my first imagine. pls read it all it took like five hours and give me a shot :’) prolly going to write a series. enough talking,,, i hope you enjoy and ignore my self-loathing note. also give me your opinion on this! i would love to read all of y’all’s opinions.

****************************************************

Peter Parker and (Y/N). Two nerds, best friends, crushing on each other and too oblivious to notice. 

You had a Spanish exam the next day and you planned on hanging out on your house with Peter. You knew Peter’s little secret and you insisted him to come hang out with you instead of some bad guys that tried to kill him. You never could see him hurt, you couldn’t live with that in your conscience, that you could do something to help him.

Peter: (Y/N).
(Y/N): what
Peter: Sorry, but I can’t go to your place tomorrow… :( please forgive me.
(Y/N): you’re going to try and flirt with some cute girls with your suit, huh? go on, i forgive you dude. i’m your wingwoman ;) 
Peter: What? no…
Peter: Anyways thank you! You’re the best! We’ll hang out some other day, okay? :)
(Y/N): yeah, yeah. also please call me when you’re at the cafeteria, please i have no clue how to get there.

You lock your phone and stuck it in your pocket again, waiting impatiently for the class to end. After the bell rang, you were heading to the school’s Cafeteria. You were trying to guess where it was since it was pretty far from your classrom. Walking through several hallways and not finding anything, your eyes met with a cute boy, standing against the wall, looking through his phone and with his earbuds on and bopping his head up and down at the beat of the music.

Keep reading

5

Send me dumb maid dragon headcanons and I might draw em

@djunk411​ Did this turn into a kindergarten AU? It sure did, but boy did I have fun thinking of these! We’ll call it Dragonling!AU. I have a lot more comics planned for this, but let me first give you a little rundown of the kids. 

Tohru: She’s the rambunctious kid that can use her cuteness to get almost everything. And whenever that doesn’t work, she turns full-on dragon child and will force it out of them. She’s super proud that her second pair of horns are growing. Doesn’t like Elma at all for some reason. She might or might not have a small crush on caretaker Kobayashi. 

Fafnir: The shady weird kid who wants nothing to do with anyone else. He likes to play on his old-school gameboy color and has almost every game for it. Don’t take it away or he will hurt you. Even the caretakers are afraid of him, except for caretaker Takiya. Maybe because they found common ground?

Lucoa: You know that kid that always loses everything? Their toys, their food… their clothes? You guessed it, Lucoa is that kid. Does she do it on purpose? We will never know. She’s the only one, together with Kobayashi, who can rein in Tohru… but only if she feels like it. Was transferred from another group to Kobayashi and Takiya’s because of an incident with her sister. 

Elma: Literally the only one with common sense! She just wants to play, make friends, be happy and stuff her face with food. She always accidentally gets into some kind of trouble, which is mostly Tohru’s fault. She just has a lot of bad luck and it doesn’t help that the biggest troublemaker of the group hates her guts for no apparent reason. Has food crumbs stuck to her face 24/7.

Feedback is very appreciated, especially for Lucoa. I want her clothing antics to be silly and innocent, but I’m worried that people might take it the wrong way.

2

Heeeeere’s more Family AU!!

This au, as silly a premise as it is, it has been so much fun to work on!  I’ve been thinking a lot about new dad Joe and tiny Cuphead and Mugman, and (un?)official grandpa Elder Kettle, and kinds of dumb stuff! (my schoolwork does not appreciate it however). Hope you guys don’t mind, but expect more in the future!

(If you can’t read my handwriting (like me) then look under the cut for some closeups! Which are somewhat better!)

Keep reading

I understand a lot of people are excited to see the concept art Mercy, and don’t get me wrong I love the design too, but I also see with that a lot of people saying “We could have had a poc healer! That would have been amazing!”

Ahem, you’re forgetting my og boy over here, ready to boop your dumb butts off a cliff

Everything aside, the concept design is awesome, but tbh I’d love to have seen that worked in as a possible defense or tank character rather than another support. In the end it was the creator’s choice, so let’s drop the hate guys and just enjoy a beautiful design. Whatever your opinion may be, Mercy now is amazing too, and I for one am glad to have her stand as a strong female character in the game too. Peace!

“Get Out Of My Preschool: a RinHaru AU” feat. Single Dadsuke and thirsty Model Young Parents MakoGou. 

Rin and Haru meet at kindergarten and Rin rly wants to be friends with that cool and pretty Nanase boy!! and Haru is absolutely taken aback by Rin’s cute and insistent attempts to get close to him because this Matsuoka kid is so weird… and smiles at him a lot… and gives him toys…. and candy he grabbed at the doctor’s waiting room apparently… and doesnt make fun of his Iwatobi-chan backpack……. so he has this “get out of my preschool” kind of crush. So that’s what he says. Rin starts bawling, Haru is so distressed by that he breaks into tears too, and that’s how they accidentally make their parents meet - by having them called by a teacher :’)

Ssk is Haru’s single dad who Does His Best. He had him young with a girl from a swim team who had a Future and all he had was a screwed shoulder so he decided to raise the kid alone, or smth. I guess not having the proper recovery time to get over the whole injury fallout and mental repercussions he’s self-conscious and lost as a parent and probably worried about Haru being a quiet boy and not getting along well with other kids. It’s probably his fault, he’d think, he’s not a dad Haru deserves. Ofc he’s dumb and Haru loves him with all his bby heart.

Gou and Makoto are your regular nice young parents who may be a bit into that single dad… probably when they’re in bed Gou says casually that ‘Yamazaki-san is pretty hot, don’t you think Makoto?’ and Makoto malfunctions but finally admits from under a pillow that yes, maybe, why… And so they start to test the waters and flirt and Sousuke is very confused. But it does him a lot of good. Makoto would be all “Haru-chan is such an independent, well behaved boy, you must be a great dad Yamazaki-san!” Of course Haru likes Makoto very much so he’s extra polite to him but still.. Sousuke starts hanging out with them and believe in himself and fall in love and all that. Help me.

WANNA ONE  ❃ AS TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS

YOON JISUNG

  • the funny guy, your own personal living meme
  • jokes 25/8 and sometimes even in his sleep 
  • a true sweetheart and is always there for you 
  • gets protective whenever you go out and glares at everyone who gives you a second look
  • daydreams a lot about you and lots of cute things he wants to do with you 
  • always brings you lunch or waits for you at home with home-made dinner and even dessert

HA SUNGWOON

  • doesn’t like it so much when you wear highheels so you two won’t be going to a lot of formal events because he doesn’t want you to be taller than him 
  • extremely lovable otherwise 
  • a true cinammon roll who is too dumb for his own good 
  • anything you need, this boy got you and i mean ANYTHING
  • has a weird way of showing his love sometimes “i think i love you as much as i love food”“you’re so cute you could puke rainbows and unicorns”

HWANG MINHYUN

  • the smart boyfriend that will tell you about all sorts of things you didn’t even hear of 
  • brings a book to all of your dates and asks you if you have a library at home that he can look through 
  • so many quality conversations 
  • but then he has this side which i will only say two words about: DAD JOKES 
  • the most terrible and idiot type of jokes to which no one laughs but him

ONG SEONGWOO

  • the one that your family will love more than you and your parents will probably want to adopt him
  • tries to be smooth and suave, but fails the moment he opens his mouth
  • likes having you in his lap as he hugs you from behind and leaves small kisses on your back or your nape 
  • always mimics your favorite characters from movies or cartoons while asking “y/n do you love me?”“y/n am i handsome?” 

KIM JAEHWAN

  • you’re dating a karaoke machine 
  • you can name any kind of song and he will sing it for you after listening to it once 
  • always tries to make you smile, but makes the stupidest jokes possible 
  • which often turn sexual, but he always acts innocent, as if he doesn’t know what he’s saying 
  • has a weird laugh but you love him for it 

KANG DANIEL

  • probably loves his cats more than you but won’t admit it
  • always sends you pictures when he is away or if he’s bored he would send pictures of his cats
  • insists on playing video games together on the weekends 
  • calls you kid no matter what age you are 
  • thinks you’re cute when you get mad, so is always mocking you for being tiny and shorter than him 
  • “you’re so adorable… like a child… a very small child”

PARK JIHOON

  • it’s actually like those princes from Disney movies 
  • acts more manly than he is in reality around you just to impress you 
  • you’re blessed by always being the first person to see his new aegyo poses
  • probably got taught some weird-ass pick-up lines by his hyungs 
  • “y/n do you know why you can’t be ice-cream? cause you’re so hot… and also a person”

PARK WOOJIN

  • wakes you up at 3 am “you me dance party now!” 
  • “go to sleep dude”
  • “no y/n, you need to tell me what should i change to my choreography, ok?” 
  • you act like best friends most of the time and people often wonder if he’s your brother or not 
  • goofs around a lot with you and is not afraid to do it in public too 
  • takes you with him to the studio all the time and most of your dates are spent there

BAE JINYOUNG

  • the insecure little puppy who feels lost whenever you are not around 
  • very sensitive and most likely to cry when you watch animation movies 
  • somehow his personality fits yours perfectly and you complete each other like puzzle pieces 
  • very shy and if you want something from him you have to do the first step 
  • probably does aegyo for you to buy him food or to get cuddles 

LEE DAEHWI

  • your number one hype man who is always cheering for you no matter what
  • like i imagine you can commit murder and Daehwi would stand behind you with pom poms singing to Mansae and yelling “THAT’S MY GIRL Y’ALL! NOW GO FOR THE JUGULAR BABE”
  • you two probably spend almost everyday together 
  • sleepover parties where you listen to old music and spazz over childhood crushes 
  • probably enjoys doing your make-up and nails for you and picking your outfits too

LAI GUAN LIN

  • seems to hate you most of the time and sometimes you wonder how you started dating 
  • gets jealous quite easily even though he doesn’t show it 
  • probably forgets to answer your texts because he was too busy sleeping or looking at pictures with swaggy rappers 
  • will ask you to teach him your native language or help him study Korean 
  • always is late with his answers and reactions and you have to wait 5 minute for the answer to a yes or no question

anonymous asked:

nac but I don't really understand the whole "snape was working for dumbledore instead of Voldemort" thing, even though I've read DH countless times. Could you explain it to me please?

uuuuuuuhm, i think i need more specifics maybe? but I’ll try, I will give you the gist of it with my own style~

snape joined the DEs when he got out of hogwarts and was super good at it, he became one of LV’s most trusted men, then he fucked up (i mean, according to his standards because by mine joining the DEs at all would be considered fucking up) cuz he heard the prophecy and ran and told LV like a good boy and LV was like AHA IT MUST BE THOSE PESKY POTTERS. So Snape was like “ohshitohshit Lily is one of those and i still love her lots, i fucked up i fucked up.” So he asks LV to spare Lily because he loves her and LV is like, yeah fine I’ll do you this solid to the best of my ability. But Snape isn’t dumb, he knows that LV will kill her if it suits him, so he goes to Dumbledore and is like “I FUCKED UP. PLEASE KEEP LILY SAFE” and Dumbles is basically like ‘surely LV will spare her for you in exchange for her son’ and snape is like ‘yeah i already asked for that.’ so Dumbs is all ‘dont fucking talk to me you piece of shit, youre here asking me to save lily and dont care about her husband and son?? bye sucka, i don’t wanna hear you whine.” so snape backtracks like FINE HIDE THEM ALL THEN and dumbles, being dumbles, is like hmm okay I can use this to my advantage. “what chu gon do for me in return?”  And thats how Snape started working as a double agent.  and continued to work for dumbles and carry out his plan up through both their deaths

mbmbam sentence starters!

taken from various podcast episodes and the tv series! 

  • “idiot can’t make his own pancakes, how pathetic.” 
  • “what would you do if an arby’s manager punched you in the face?”
  • “shooting guys with master chief, my best friend.” 
  • “is bronze bulletproof?” 
  • “i would like to formally request that you start referring to me as ‘king nuggets’.” 
  • “for a fifty i would fight everyone around me in a one hundred foot radius.” 
  • “you dumb piece of shit.” 
  • “does anybody know how to curse a real sword?” 
  • “can you curse a nerf sword?” 
  • “it seems like you’re upset about literally every word in this sentence.” 
  • “don’t do a hit.” 
  • “i’m too fucking strong and way too fucking sexy to be murdered in this shower right now.” 
  • “you’re too strong to be killed.” 
  • “no one has died listening to a beyonce song.” 
  • “you thought the psycho was out there? surprise, the psycho is in here.” 
  • “i use the beyonce to keep me pumped up to kill somebody.” 
  • “batman jokes aside…” 
  • “this makes me so mad i could bust a nut.” 
  • “you’ve made me so frustrated i’m seriously about to bust a nut right here.” 
  • “i think if I see a guy in a bolo tie, i know it’s time to party.”
  • “you know what? boners are beautiful and that’s the way of life.”
  • “would you be shocked to find that the best ways to find demons is on yahoo answers?”
  • “can you cook and eat the beans from a beanbag chair?”
  • “i’m talkin’ ‘bout that dank herb!”
  • “i just take a lot of naps.”
  • “so many of emotions are hunger based.” 
  • “oh no no no no no.” 
  • “i’m not gonna be here one day. it’s all gonna stop one day.”
  • “she is a pure being of light.” 
  • “if you need me, i’m on my mobile.” 
  • “what do i say when i touch his dick?” 
  • “that’s like the sweetest dick.” 
  • “so this is the clown box.” 
  • “i abandoned my boy!” 
  • “abstinence until i die.” 
  • “yo, what the fuck, dog?”
  • “i’m the protector and king of chillidelphia.” 
  • “fuck you, nerds!” 
  • “i’m ready to bust a nut in this job.” 
  • “young, dumb and full of…you know.” 
  • “you’re a jerk person.” 
  • “LIGHT THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP.” 
  • “EAT THAT SHIT, _______!” 
  • “premarital sex is only gonna get you one thing; pleasure. the second one is babies.” 
  • “just to prove that i’m gonna rip a phonebook in half.” 
Your Worst Nightmare

Summary: Dan can’t sleep–he never can. And it’s thanks to the demon under his bed.

TW: uhhh scary demon shit. idk when @mangothatismelancholy was reading it she was legitimately scared so idkkk

Genre: angst

Word Count: 5k

(here’s a drawing @societyshottheunicorns01​ made!)

(and a drawing @haleykinz​ made!)

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sighlolly  asked:

pleaseeeee can you do one where Eddie is jealous of Richie because he is spending too much time with other friend

~Hues of pink bloomed and tinted Eddies cheeks from under the small dots of his freckles as Richie played with his hands. The seven of them were sprawled out in different positions on the bed of Richie’s car in some field. It had been Bills idea drive up there after graduation. He’d been enjoying the slight tickle of Richie’s fingers as the boy turned Eddie’s hand over and traced the lines of his palm when he abruptly pulled away and leaned his head over the ledge of the car’s bed. Beverly was standing there, fishing something out of her pocket which turned out to be her pack of cigarettes and Richie waited expectantly. She shook her head and slid one out, shoving it into his mouth with a smirk. “Aye, that’s not very ladylike of you, Bev!” Richie chuckled and sat back down, leaning on the small wall. He lit the cigarette and tossed he back her lighter.

Eddie studied the way the two of them constantly disregarded each others personal space and it drove him nuts. He watched the red flicker of Richie’s cigarette from the reflection in his glasses and tried to hold back his cough. But alas, it overpowered him and he coughed into his elbow, disrupting his boyfriend. 

“Oh sorry, Eds. I’ll take this somewhere else.” Richie smiled, patting Eddie’s knee as he hopped off the bed and trailed somewhere else. Eddie had previously said he didn’t mind if Richie smoked, just as long as he wasn’t around. He almost regretted that now. Considering the fact that elsewhere was sitting in a little isolated spot in the grass with the only other smoker at the present moment, Beverly. Eddie could never dislike Beverly but remembering the way Richie had stared at her that day at the quarry a couple years ago, made him dread seeing her and Richie hanging out. God, he swore they were all obsessed with her in that moment. Eddie rolled his eyes. Sure he’d stared too but in a different way. 

He heard Beverly start to laugh and glanced up and caught sight of Richie most likely coming off from doing some voice, he bowed slightly and put the cig back in his mouth. Eddie frowned. the two of them seemed to really enjoy the others company and they did spend a lot of time together alone too. It was ridiculous. And he knew that. Everyone knew of the invisible tension that existed between Bev, Ben and Bill. But Richie could be a good break from that for Beverly, he could make things a little less stressful, he could make her laugh…at least that’s what he did for Eddie. He bit into his cheek. 

From his seat in the grass, well blanket covered grass, Stan stood and strolled over. He hopped onto the car bed, plopping down next to Eddie who gave him a questioning face. “They’re gonna start the fire and make s’mores. I don’t really like eating them. they get chocolate and marshmallow everywhere…I’d rather not get all sticky.” Stan cringed and looked back to Eddie.  “They wanted to know if you were gonna join but Richie said you don’t like sitting around the fire cause of your asthma…?” He let it fade into a question just to make sure Eddie didn’t have a different answer. 

“He’s right.” but he wished he wasn’t. He knew that Richie was just being considerate but a part of him was bitter that he was continuing to laugh it up with Beverly while he was stuck here. Stan nodded, gritting his teeth as he watched Richie bite into a disastrous mountain of sweet. He looked to Eddie so he wouldn’t have to look at it any longer only to find Eddie glaring at the same boy. 

“What’s up, Eddie?” He asked and Eddie frowned. But, he could trust Stan. 

“Bev and Richie sure do get along great.” He continued to frown. Stan chuckled. 

“Are you jealous?” 

Eddie reluctantly nodded and Stan made a confirming ‘ohh’ sound. “Surely I thought you’d be the one who most understands that Richie’s gay. considering the fact that you’re dating him.” Stan smiled teasingly. Eddie chuckled and turned to face Stan. 

“I know it’s dumb but…I mean they spend a lot of time together and ….-” 

“Look, Eddie. Unfortunately, I spend a lot of time with Richie too. and the motormouth never shuts up about you and you two are pretty much attached at the hip.”

Eddie giggled. That was true. Wherever one went, the other surely followed. 

“You got nothing to worry about.” Stan reached out and rubbed Eddies shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. 

“Aye! Stanley Urine, I trust yer not putting the moves on me boyfriend, huh?” Came Richie’s poor English accent as he hopped over. Stan rolled his eyes and scooted off the car. 

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Stan smiled as he retreated over towards their friends. Richie watched him go before standing in between Eddies legs, that were swinging off the ledge. 

“It’s boring without you, so I thought I’d come keep you company.” He smiled, tugging on Eddie’s hands. 

“You don’t have better company over there?” Eddie scowled slightly and Richie looked back at where it was directed, Bev and then back at Eddie. He chuckled. “You think I have the hots for Bev?” 

Eddie didn’t say anything. 

“Eds, if you don’t know I’m gay by now-” 

“I know, forget it.” Eddie shook his head and Richie frowned. 

“Sure I love Bev…but I’m in love with you Eddie.” Richie said, a little flustered and for a moment, Eddie couldn’t breathe. 

“You’ve never said that before.” Eddie’s face broke into a huge grin and just sort of stared in wonderment. Richie cleared his throat. “Oh! I’m in love with you too.” Eddie abruptly reached his hands up and pulled Richie down by his cheeks, smashing their lips together, the Losers cheering in the background.