you asshat

sinsofnatureao3  asked:

Hey Sanzu, I'm not sticking round too long in the ask since you have probably more questions to answer... I'm a huge introvert so I don't usually tolerate too many people. I just stick to one or two friends. So... Yeah... If the others are getting too overwhelming for any reason, like you're too frustrated or something, you can chill with me since i would end up zoning out or listen to music, so I would leave you in peace. Also... You're cool. Sorry this ended up being longer than planned...

* I’ve seen you around.

* When I first saw you, I didn’t like you.

* But now that I know you better, 

* I hate you.

Real talk - Hogwarts Houses

Listen up folks!
So, we all know about our Hogwarts houses and we also know that it is an unspoken rule that your Hogwarts house is kind of your own very important, very chaotic but also very lovable family.

However, I am slowly but steadily getting sick of hearing:

“Oh, you’re a Slytherin, so you are an evil piece of shit.”

Like, no. Kindly f*ck off. It’s true that once you have pissed me off, I’ll make your life miserable, but that doesn’t mean that I’m evil, at least not per se.

And this does not only go for Slytherins.
It goes for every house.

Gryffindors aren’t reckless.
Hufflepuffs aren’t vulnerable.
Ravenclaws aren’t boring.
Slytherins aren’t evil.

You wanna know how I know? Apart from the obvious evidence given in the books, let’s just take one short look at their freakin’ crests.

☆ GRYFFINDOR ☆

Their house animal is a bloody lion!
Yes, it’s true that male lions sometimes fight recklessly. BUT, a lion pride has a strict hierarchy and rules which are to be followed. The young lions are to be protected at all cost and the pride is literally living together. Whether they are hunting or grooming each other or simply lying on the sun together. They protect each other, the pride and their territory.

So, should you ever think that Gryffindors are happy go lucky idiots , than you are most likely fucking wrong. Thank you very much.


☆ HUFFLEPUFF ☆

Oh boy, don’t even get me started… You think a badger is cute and harmless? Well, yes they are, but still. Have you ever heard of the honey-badger? Probably the most badass living mammal I have ever heard of. That animal eats snakes! Freakin’ snakes!!
It digs out the honey out off a bee hive and gets stung ten to twenty times and simply does not give a shit.

If you still think Hufflepuffs are vulnerable you better get ready to get your ass kicked.

☆ RAVENCLAW ☆

Alright, so, Ravenclaws always read and have a stick up their arse? Well, think again!
Their animal is a motherfudging eagle. That creature is so epic even Americas bald eagle loses its feathers. Have you seen its claws? Because I have and they certainly aren’t just for decoration.

They might have their head in the clouds but from up there they can see all your flaws so shut the fuck up about Ravenclaws being boring.


☆ SLYTHERIN ☆

Yes, you say the snake is an evil demon? Well , you thought wrong, asshat! It’s true that the snake is a sign of the wicked, but it is also known for its wisdom and healing. Snake poison is indeed used for certain antidotes hence the use of the snake as the sign of medicine.
Furthermore , in mythology it is the symbol of eternity and primal energy (Uroborus.)

So yeah, you wanna say that I’m a piece of shit? Okay, maybe so. But that has nothing to do with my Hogwarts house. So leave it.

Say what you like about weird, cringy, or bad ao3 tags, I’ve found the absolute worst one ever, nothing can beat the horridness of this tag

Fuck you yes he fucking is. Stop erasing his identity you asshats

Killing Stalking tag in a nutshell
  • Memes 
  • Rough translations
  • Spoilers 
  • Haters 
  • “Killing and Stalking is NOT Yuri on Ice”
  • Long posts about how KS supports abusive and gay relationships
  • Long posts explaining that KS does NOT depict a relationship/romance 
  • Memes 
  • Stolen art and posts 
  • “Of course it’s bloody and graphic it’s a HORROR comic???" 
  • "How did I jump from Yuri on Ice!!! to here?" 
  • Sangwoo x Jail OTP 2k17 
  • "Yoonbum is so innocent and adorable even though he was a deranged stalker lol what an angel 😇 " 
  • WHere is this Weeks CHAPTER?!? 
  • The occasional Yoonbum x Seungbae shippers with amazing art 
  •  MEmes 
  • "Buy the official release and support Koogi you asshats" 
  • "Yoonbum x Sangwoo is such a good ship I mean maybe they can heal each other?” :D 
  • “Yoonbum still loves Sangwoo" 
  • "Yoonbum does NOT still love Sangwoo”
  • Chapter translators are basically the fandoms version of drug dealers 
  • Killing me softly with his song~~ 
  • MEMES

Daughter: Hey Dad one of the boys at school said he wanted to marry me

Bakugou: Oh really

Daughter: Yeah! *walks into her room*

Todoroki: Don’t do what I think you’re going to do

Bakugou: Relax babe I’m cool

*At school the next day*

Bakugou: *breaks into classroom* WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE SHITS WANTS TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER

Daughter: DAD NO!

Todoroki: *tackles Bakugou to the ground* YOURE JUST EMBARRASSING YOURSELF YOU IDIOTIC ASSHAT

Todoroki: *looks up* Oh hi sweetie

Daughter:

Todoroki: …Right I got this *drags a screeching Bakugou away*

Teacher: This is the third time this month

Daughter: …I know

“Don’t Touch Her” [Jason Todd x Reader]

Requested by anon: “Jason x reader where the boyfriend of the reader’s BFF hits the reader for defending her friend (they’re in an abusive relation) and Jason finds out about it”

A/N: This is a really good idea. We’re gonna get some pissed Jason in here.

Warning: Abuse, mentions of sex, Swearing

[Bff/N] - Best Friend Name [H/Bf/N] - Her Boyfriend’s Name

_____

You were out this fine after noon with your best friend. It was just a simple lunch date you both scheduled. But the moment you saw her, your stomach turned.

She had a black eye and a bruise on her wrist like someone grabbed her there. You knew that bastard [H/Bf/N] was hitting her but she wouldn’t admit it. Jason often heard you ranting about the asshole.

You stood up and strode over to her. Taking her wrist gently in your hands and looked at the black eye. “Did that bastard do this?” you asked softly. She stayed silent, “[Bff/N] please tell me the truth” sitting down at the table as she sat across from you.

“H-he promised not to do it again.” She whispered. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “[Bff/N] he said that the last time too didn’t he?”

She just nodded. “Please you can’t stay there. You can stay with Jason and I until you get on your feet. But you can’t stay there” you pleaded in fear for your friend.

“No I couldn’t impede on you guys. I know you and Jason need your couple time.” she shook her head vigorously. You chuckled, “Trust me, we live together, we get plenty of couple time” a teasing tone in your voice.

“I can’t leave him.” She murmured, “Can we just not talk about this now?”

You sighed, “Fine, but we’re not done here”


You spent the rest of the lunch just talking about life and random events. She especially liked asking about you and Jason. She always found you guys to be a perfect couple, but you knew that she hasn’t seen you two butting heads.

It was a nice lunch until her phone rang.

“Hey [H/Bf/N]” she answered shyly

“Where the hell are you?!” you heard his yelling from where you were sitting.

“I’m just getting lunch”

“Well get home now you should’ve told me first”

He hung up the phone after that. You felt your blood boiling. That asshole had the nerve to call, yell at her, then hang up on her.

“I have to go” she spoke, her voice was fragile like it would shatter if she spoke any louder.

“I’m walking you home” you insisted. “N-no [F/n], I-its —”

“No arguments, I’m walking with you” standing up and picking up your jacket.

She gave in and the both of you payed before exiting the small cafe. You were going to give that piece of shit a piece of your mind.


She unlocked her door when you got to her apartment. Immediately upon opening the door he was storming toward her but stopped when he saw you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he spat. “A pleasure as always asshat” you gave him a unamused grin.

“What’d you call me?” he stalked toward you. “I think you heard me just fine by the amount of smoke coming out of your ears” you mused.

“You bitch” his face was red with anger. You knew you were poking the bear here but you had to get a point across.

“Me a bitch? If you ask me only a cowardly bitch would hit his girlfriend. What was wrong this time, couldn’t get it up?” you stepped up and got in his face.

Before you could react he had risen his fist and connected it to your jaw. You stumbled back, hand gripping your jaw. [Bff/N] ran over to make sure you were alright. He brushed by the both of you, “I need a drink” and out the door.

“Are you alright [F/n]?” she asked concerned.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine” you stood up feeling a bit of blood on your jaw. ‘Shit Jason will kill him’ you thought.

You went into her bathroom and cleaned up the blood. She brought you a bandaid and first aid kit. After taking care of the injury, she spoke up.

“I think that you should go, he will only be angrier if you’re here when he gets back.” she instructed. You nodded before heading to the door.

The walk home your jaw hurt like hell and you had to think of a way so that Jason wouldn’t up and shoot the bastard. Long story short you walked slow to gain more time.



Putting your key in the door, before pushing it open you took a deep breath. Mentally preparing yourself for the bombardment of questions you were just about to receive.

Pushing it open you walked inside. Hanging up your coat and setting your bag on the table next to the door. Making your way to the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror you examined the forming bruise. Peeling off the bandaid and cleaning it up with rag.

“I thought I heard you come home” hearing a familiar voice. You looked at Jason and his grin dropped.

He strode over lifting your chin up with his finger, “What happened?” concern was laced in his voice, as his expression mirrored it.

“It’s nothing, just got mugged” you shrugged before turning back to the mirror.

“Mugged, during the day. You and I both know that’s not what happened.” He crossed his arms. Why did he have to be so damn intuitive?

“Come on cough it up.” He waved to you.

You sighed knowing lying would be no use. “It was [H/Bf/N]. I stood up to him and he slugged me” keeping your eyes from his.

“The son of a bitch did what?” He growled. His eyes darkened and his demeanor changed to vigilante rather than boyfriend.

“Jason please don’t, you know, murder him” you followed as he walked out of the bathroom. You knew where he was going, straight to his gun safe.

“Jason” you stopped him as he turned around. He looked at you, he was pissed off.

“I’m not going to let the bastard get away with it”

“I know and we shouldn’t but I think the police might be the best way to go on this one. Maybe we can make it so she won’t lose the apartment or anything. I have a friend in the police force, let me reach out” you persuaded, slowly removing the firearm from his grasp.

His tense body relaxed. Setting the gun back into the safe and turning back to face him.

He examined your face, gently brushing his thumb over the bruise. Then leaned and rested his forehead to yours. “You know I’d never hit you like that right? I know I have a temper but I’d never take it out on you”

“I know Jay. I know” brushing your nose against his.


You and Jason headed over to see [Bff/N] to try and convince her to talk to the police. She had told you he was out so the both of you left that minute. It didn’t take long to get there.

“Hey, how are you feeling?“ you questioned as the both of you walked into her apartment.

“I’m fine, what’re you guys doing here? Is something the matter?”

“Yeah, something is. We’re not letting you live like this anymore. I’m begging you, will you please talk to a police officer. I’ve reached out and a friend of mine is more than willing to talk with you” you begged as she began to think.

Though you all heard the door open, “I’m back.” You flinched slightly at the voice. Jason wrapped your hand in his when he noticed your flinch.

“Who the hell are you?” he questioned upon seeing Jason.

“I’m [F/n]’s boyfriend” Jason answered simply. He laughed, “Sorry for you man”

“Excuse me?” Jason stepped toward him. You kept a grip on his hand, keeping him from getting too far.

“She’s got a mouth on her that one, but I bet you keep it busy with other things huh?” He chuckled.

Okay, yeah… he’s a dead man.

Letting go of your hand he punched [H/Bf/N] right to the jaw” He fell to the floor within the instant.

“Agh, shit” he groaned, getting to his hands. When he stood up Jason pinned him to the wall, “Don’t ever tough her again. You do and you’ll be leaving in a body bag”

The two did not know how serious he actually was. You put a hand on his shoulder, “Bastards not worth it Jay”

At that he let him go before punching him again, knocking him out. “[Bff/N] how about you go grab somethings, you’re welcome to stay with [F/n] and I for awhile. Until you’ll be safe from this douche.”

She nodded and quickly ran into her bedroom. Grabbing some clothes and necessities.

Turning to him, you wrapped your arms around his waist and laid your head on his chest. “That was hot”

You felt his chuckle vibrate in his chest, leading to a smile to grow on your features. “I’m always hot” he teased, making you punch his arm lightly.


You ended up taking [Bff/n] back to your place and convinced her to talk to the police. [H/Bf/N] was soon arrested and received a guilty verdict for assault.

She moved back into her old apartment, you and Jason gave her a hand with getting rid of [H/Bf/N]’s things. She thanked you for everything before you returned home.

Both collapsing on the couch you nestled into him. “Who would’ve thought, Jason Todd’s a hero during the day and night”

He chuckled, “I think you deserve the credit for helping her”

“Yeah but you knocked him out”

He smiled down at you. Before softly kissing your forehead, eliciting giggles from you.

“You’ll always be my hero though” saying it into his chest. Muffled by his shirt.

A smile grew on his face has he wrapped his arms around you tighter. How could anyone ever say they love someone and end up hitting them? He would never dream of hitting you. He just loves you too much.

au where everything’s the same except Remus talks like an old southern woman.

“Y'all please”

“Harry, Harry… Bless your heart”

“Severus, I swear to the Lord, if you don’t shut your trap this instant, I’ll stick a sock in in for you”

*puts hands over Harry’s ears* “Little ears, you silly fucking asshat”

“Well, Harry, back when I was a boy”

*something happens* “Well, I never”

And who could forget:

“Sirius Black… Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit”

i have had the unfortunate opportunity to grow up in a part of the south, and i heard pretty much all of these things at some point in my life. i’m not exaggerating. feel free to add.

The Class 1-A web series

With all the ask blogs I’ve checked out recently this ideea came to my mind.

What if in third year, the students of class 1-A open a web blog, where fans can ask questions.

The blog was proposed by the management department ( this is how they were called right?) to spread awareness and help them when they will graduate.

And so the chaos begins.

– Bakugou being asked continuesly what is actuall his hero name. Every time he is asked he responds with “Lord Explosion Murder, you asshats! Why doesn’t it enter your thick skulls?!”, but no one believes him.

Until one day, when in the middle of answering the question, Kirishima comes and yells “Oi, Blasty Mcxplody!” without realising Bakugou was live.

After that the internet explodes and Kirishima spends the rest of the week hiding from Bakugou, who is chasing him with a magazine on which is written “ Future pro hero Bakugou Katsuki’s name revealed-Blasty Mcxplody?”.

– Midoriya is very embarassed by all the attention he gets.

Things get especially bad for him when people start asking about his hero name. The fans are like “ Doesn’t the name mean ‘dumbass’?”

So Midoriya tells the story behind his name, avoiding the details of All Might and One For All. He tells them of how his quirk set late and how he was teased becuase of it. Of how Deku was an insult thrown at him, but it he turned the name around to become his source of strengh.

Let’s just say he leaves the entire fanbase in tears and he becomes fast an idol for bullied and sad children.

– Uraraka gets a lot of questions concerning how cool her qurik is and methods of how she could use it.

She is very gratefull for all the people that help her, but when fans ask about why she became a hero she mentions she did it for her parents, to help them, but doesn’t say anything about the company.

Mostly because she feels like she would sound whiny and materialistic, but a part of her doesn’t becuase she feels it is her responsabilty and actually she doesn’t want pity.

– Iida, being the class rep, is usually the one that checks all the questions to see if they are apropiate. Though some NSFW are leaked from time to time.

As for his questions. He mostly encourages people on how to be a hero. He is essentially the one of the group that gives life advice.

Especially about revenge and how it is not good to become obsessed with it.

With how he speaks about the subject, fans speculate that he experience something like that. Some think it may be the incident that made his brother retire, but they are not sure.

– Everyone loves Todoroki. He has thousands of fangirls that send him love messages and requests to go out. I mean, he isn’t the class’ pretty boy for nothing.

Though he tries his hardest to decline every one of them gently.

It is rather complicated for him to answer all the questions, since he has so many, but the most complicated part is when people ask about his father.

“How was it to grow up with the number 2 hero as your father?”

“Did he teach you personally?”

“How is he in person?”

“Do you have any siblings, if you do why aren’t they heroes too?”

Todoroki tries to mentain his calm, but as more asks come it becomes harder and and harder.

And the fans catch fast how tense he is starting to become, though they don’t know why.

– I imagine Jirou and Kaminari having a kind of mini series about music.

Them playing imstruments, talking about different genres, how they became friends and music recommandations.

And let’s add President Mic, who joins them sometimes.

– I can see Momo also having a kind of mini series, but her topics differ.

From advice for young heroines, asks about her childhood, talking about tea and fashion, to combat strategies.

And how about the thought that she and the other memebers of the top five of the class (Iida, Bakugou, Midoriya and Todoroki) telling their fans how to study easier.

“It’s important that you study in a calm and quite enviroment!”

“Exactly, Yaoyorozu-san! Plus-”

“I don’t see how the fucking room where they are studying would help them. If they are dumbasses, they are dumbasses!”

“Kaachan, that’s not-”

“Shut the fuck up, Deku!”

“Maybe you should close your irrelevant mouth!”

“Oh! You want to go Icyhot bastard?”

“Bakugou-san, Todoroki-san, please stop!”

– Since most of the time Todoroki ends up roasting Bakugou in their arguments, he is crowned “ The Savage Todoroki” by the fandom.

– What about Kirishima walking one time in front of the camera with his hair let down?

Everyone loses their shit.

– I also see Kaminari and Kirishima answering together asks from time to time.

And one time someone asks them about romance and Kaminari is like:

“Oh, I remember when you and Bakugou-” he stops dead in his tracks.

Kirishima looks at Kaminari with wide eyes and a blush on his face.

– Bakugou saw what happened.

So, angry that the Pikachu wannabe revealed his relationship with Kiri to the entire world, he chases him around with a magazine too.

“Romance floats in the air for the next generation- Red Riot and Blasty Mcxplody, the next big duo!?” is written on it.

– With the advantage of being invisible, Hagakure pulls weekly a prank on someone.

Student, teacher, best friend? You are getting it anyway.

Everyone is scared out of their minds.

Though Ojiro finds it endearing, even if he is on the receiving end of the prank.

– And to end on a fluffy note. Class 1-A planes an elaborate scheme to finally get Tododeku together.

Tsuyu is filming it live.

Everything goes smoothly, until Bakugou starts to grind his teeth and shouts:

“Just kiss already, you shitheads!”

The rest of the class scolds Bakugou for being such a mood pooper.

What they don’t observe, but Bakugou does, is Todoroki and Midoriya blushing from his words, leaning closer and kissing.

(Also, Mineta is banned from answering questions, he only talks about perverted stuff)

4

Carmen’s housewarming party proceeds in the most predictable fashion. They eat and talk and drink and laugh, but despite the jovial atmosphere Westley wants nothing more than to leave. He feels lost here, his mind- and his heart- trapped miles and miles away. Locked, it slowly dawns on him, with a new mother and her baby daughter in a hospital room across town.

“What’s wrong? Where are you going?” Eugenia pouts as Westley extricates himself from her grasp. All night she has clung to him like glue, but this time as she rises to follow him West shakes his head and pointedly motions for her to sit back down.

“I need to make a phone call,” he explains. “Alone.”

“Are you coming back?” she whimpers.

Westley hesitates, but glancing around the room full of strangers he smiles and says, “I sure as hell hope not.”

Previous | Next

8

gif request meme - final fantasy vii + favorite character requested by gladiolvs

Personal Assistant (Jason Todd x Reader)

So this one is has a few warnings, Sexual harassment and a few swears. Nothing too bad.


Working as Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant had its perks. Working in a great building with a brilliant mind. Getting a handsome paycheck which was paying off your student debts. Having a job that finally got you parents off your backs for ‘throwing your life away.’

Working as Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant also had its downsides. Knowing that Bruce is the Batman, but not being able to tell Bruce you know. You are in a constant need for caffeine the people at the coffee shop across the street know your name, you figured the caped crusader deserved your help after all the help he did for this city. The fact that your parents are now bugging you about getting a nice boyfriend who treats you right.

Keep reading

  • Neil in book 2: I will do anything to help Andrew Minyard and keep him safe and prove that he is a real person and not the emotionless monster everyone thinks he is.
  • Neil in book 2: Fight me, torture me, I don't give a fuck. Just don't you dare do anything to Andrew, you stupid pieces of shit.
  • Neil in book 3: Haha, I'm so glad there are no feelings here so we can just mess around before I die-
  • Neil in book 3: DIE FOR ANDREW BECAUSE SOMEONE HERE HAS TO SAVE HIM AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR HIM BEING HURT BECAUSE OF ME. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T ANY OF YOU GRADE A ASSHATS SEE HOW AMAZING AND HUMAN HE IS? SIT DOWN FUCKERS BECAUSE I HAVE PREPARED A POWERPOINT FUCKING PRESENTATION ABOUT HOW WRONG YOU ALL ARE ABOUT ANDREW MINYARD AND YOU ARE ALL GOING TO SIT THROUGH IT AND APPRECIATE EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE FOR YOU THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN IGNORING FOR FAR TOO GODDAMN FUCKING LONG.
Who Ate the Pudding?
  • Pidge: *opens fridge*
  • Pidge: ...
  • Pidge: Which. One. Of. You. SHIT SPECKLED ASSHATS!! Ate... my god damn pudding?
  • Hunk:
  • Lance:
  • Keith:
  • Pidge:
  • Hunk: *runs to his room*
  • Lance: *runs out the house*
  • Keith: *jumps out the window*
  • Pidge: I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEADS WHERE YOUR DICKS USED TO BE!!
Lord of The Riddles

Requested: Yes. Anon asks, “Oh oh oh! May I request something? I feel like there’s not enough Darkiplier stuff on here, so would you mind doing a little fic or something of your choice on a Darkxreader, where the reader manages to trick Dark for once, and is is furious with it? Your choice on ending, and I love this blog, you’re such a good writer!!!”  

Fandom: Markiplier

Pairing: Dark/Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I really didn’t know what to do with this one, honestly, so, I hope you don’t mind how I did this! Also, this has much more dialogue than detail. I’m sorry! <3 …Enjoy!

Originally posted by lum1natrix


   (Y/N) and Dark sat across from each other on the couch, (Y/N) was getting increasingly furious and Dark’s ego was swelling. He was proud of the fact that he couldn’t be beat and by the fact that (Y/N) was a terrible guesser. It had started with a simple sentence, spoken by the human as she sat on the couch, staring at her phone.

“Many have heard me, but nobody has seen me, and I will not speak back until spoken to. What am I?” it was a riddle and (Y/N) couldn’t figure out what it meant. She thought about it for at least 30 minutes. Dark, who had been passing by the living room at the time, spoke knowing the riddle right of the bat.

“An echo.”

“Hey, I was gonna answer that!” (Y/N) pouted as she scrolled past the post. The conversation was going to stop at that but Dark decided to add more.  

“It’s not my fault you can’t comprehend a simple riddle.”

“Excuse you!” (Y/N) turned to glare at him, she hated to be called dumb or even for someone to infer that she was.

“Do you disagree with the fact that you didn’t know what the answer was, even if it was simple.” Dark approached (Y/N) with a condescending smirk on his face. He sat on the couch beside her. He faced her and she faced him and if looks could kill, Dark was sure he’d be seriously maimed.

“Fine! If you’re so damn smart, I challenge you to a Riddle Off or whatever.”  

“And if I win?” Dark leaned forwards, regarding (Y/N) with narrowed eyes and the same smirk on his face as before.

“I will do whatever you want for 48 hours-”

“A month.” Dark cut (Y/N) off, challenging her.

“A week.” (Y/N) crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Fine. One week… And if you win?” Dark leaned back, folding his hands together in his lap. He loved their little games, mainly because he normally won.

“The same thing will happen. You will do as I say for one whole week. Do you accept?”

“I do.” Dark winked and (Y/N) rolled her eyes, she was to focused to get blush-y.

“What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?” (Y/N) read from her phone, watching him.

“You belittle me. The answer is a penny. My turn… You will always find me in the past. I can be created in the present, but the future can never taint me.” Dark grinned at her, watching as she mulled over the riddle in her head. She repeated it to herself a few times before a smile graced her lips.

“History.”


“Well, you’re not as dense as I thought.” Dark nodded, a genuinely impressed.

“Piss off,” (Y/N) scrolled through her phone, ignoring Dark’s mumblings about how she couldn’t come up with a riddle on her own. “What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of?” upon seeing the mischievous look in Dark’s eyes she blushed. She realized how dirty the riddle sounded but for someone like Dark, she was sure that he wouldn’t say anything about it. Apparently she was wrong.

“I could go the perverse route but that would be wrong, the most obvious answer would be… Trouble.” Dark turned up his nose, already knowing he was correct. (Y/N) grumbled angrily to herself, a frown on her lips as she searched for a new riddle. An hour had passed since they started the meaningless challenge. They had gotten closer both furious with the other.

“Fine! You want a challenging question? What’s in my pocket? Betcha don’t know that one you pompous, condescending, asshat!” (Y/N) stood, glaring angrily at the other figure. His head was starting to twitch from his frustration. The question, though it wasn’t a riddle, was still a challenge and he wanted to win. His ego was way too big to turn away from a challenge.

“Well,” Dark started, gazing over her form, assuming she meant the pockets of her shorts. “It’s not your phone as it sits, discarded, on the coffee table. It’s definitely not your wallet because that thing is way too big to fit in a woman’s pocket. I remember that you told me you kept a ring on you at all times, one from a lost relative, that’s my answer.” (Y/N) glowered at Dark as she went to reach into her pockets. Then it clicked and she couldn’t stop the smug look that reached her lips. She realized that the pockets were faux and that the ring was actually in her jewelry box, upstairs.

“I’m sorry Dark, but you’re mistaken.” (Y/N) felt the pride swell along with her own ego. She watched the smirk fall from Dark’s face as he too realized that she didn’t have any pockets.

“You broke the rules of the game.” Dark glared, his anger multiplying, but fought to control himself. His human had beaten him this time.

“There were no rules set… Now, are you going to stand there and pout or are you going to hold up your end of the bargain.” Dark gave an over exaggerated bow and (Y/N) clapped excitedly, her smile growing.

“How may I be of service to you?”

anonymous asked:

i don't really wanna push you into writing something because I really do love your writing but id really like a small au (if possible!!) of changkyun from monsta x!

ive actually really missed monsta x and was thinking about enemies-to-lovers changkyun so,,,,,,,here you go ^^

  • changkyun was your lab partner for a bio course you took when you were just a freshman in college and since that day,,,,,,,,you have hated each other 
  • why? oh maybe because every time you had something to say changkyun was sO SuRE his idea was better
  • or whenever he’d try to take down notes he’d do this annoying thing like STAND IN FRONT OF YOU so you couldn’t see the board
  • and for the whole semester you two were like dogs at each others necks
  • and ,,,, it didn’t stop outside of that classroom
  • like seriously if you and changkyun as much as bumped into each other it was like a parade of sarcastic comments
  • “oh you’re taking microbio? im taking genetics, looks like im taking the big kid class and you’re taking the kindergarten science wah wah”
  • “why did you bump into me asshat”
  • “i like your outfit.” “changkyun, you’ve never liked anything about me.” “exactly, i like it because it makes you look WORSE”
  • honestly,,,,,,,you two just cannot stop
  • and shownu or wonho always has to step in between you and be like guys,,,,please,,,,show some respect we’re still on campus
  • and you’d be like ill show respect to changkyun pigs f l y 
  • and changkyun scoffs and he’s like ill show them respect when hyungwon willingly takes an advanced math class
  • and you just,,,tick each other off,,,,because you both know what buttons to press
  • so it’s no surprise that when you both end up being part of the three finalists in a scientific journals scholarship contest ,,,,,,you and changkyun are just grinning menacingly at each other like oH i saw you got in,,,,,,,,cant wait to be runner up to me again huh??? and changkyun is like don’t you mean you can’t wait to finally see how superior my brain is to yo-
  • kihyun like three feet away: if i spritz them with water do you think they’ll calm down?
  • wonho: nope, ive tried it. doesn’t work.
  • the eve of the contest announcing the winners you run into changkyun at the library and of course he’s refreshing the journal’s website to see the winners names
  • ,,,,,,just like you are too
  • and the library technically closes at 10 but you know you’re going to stay up and so is changkyun so you both gather your laptops and you’re like “hey don’t follow me im going to the cafe near the english department.”
  • changkyun scrunches up his nose and is like “too bad, i thought of going there first so technically you’ll be following me.”
  • and like a couple of middle schoolers you end up running there to see who got there first,,,,arguing over it in front of a tired cashier who lets you both have two lattes on the house if you agree to just sit down and shut up
  • as midnight ticks closer,,,you and changkyun keeps looking over at each other,,,glaring and making face when fINALLY the website updates
  • and you look at the winners name,,,,,,,,,,and freeze
  • ‘winner of the scholarship: nakamoto yuta. second place is tied!’
  • looking at you and changkyun’s names written together in smaller font,,,,,,you can’t help but swallow and turn your head to peek over at changkyun
  • whose doing the same and you both get up as you make eye contact
  • and the cashier is like oh god now what
  • but you and changkyun both march outside and you’re like CHANGKYUN WHAT THE HELL 
  • and he’s like I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE YOU OR ME
  • and you’re like exactly???? your paper on transitional motion was way better????? and changkyun is like your paper on genetics in ants was way better too?????/
  • both fuming,,,you’re standing outside the cafe in the darkness and changkyun is like “im so,,,,,,,,angry i could just do something really dumb right now.”
  • and you’re like wow same something really dumb like,,,,,like,,,,,,,,
  • suddenly you get an idea,,,,an idea you can’t believe you thought of,,,,,but also,,,,,,when you see changkyun in front of you 
  • the same face you’d despised seeing,,,that you’d grown to instinctively react to,,,,,,,,,,why,,,,,why has it never looked more handsome to you??!?!?!
  • the pretty way his eyes are set,,,dark brown and yet still shining,,,,,his lips,,,,,,,,his perfect jawline,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and changkyun is like tilting his head,,,,going “something dumb like?”
  • “like this.”
  • you take a step forward, bunching up changkyun’s shirt in your fist and tugging him down to press your mouth to his
  • and changkyun,,,,,,,is frozen,,,,,,,but his eyes flutter close and his own hand comes to hold the back of your neck
  • when you pull back you’re both like,,,ahem,,,um
  • and changkyun is like “that was,,,,,dumb right?” and you’re like yeah,,,super dumb,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but you can’t help it three seconds later you’re back in each others hands making out furiously with changkyun letting you pin him against the wall off the cafe 
  • and the cashier,,,thinking you and changkyun might have killed each other opens the door and sees you and is like OH,,,,,,,o h,,,,,,,,,,oh 
  • you and changkyun with messy hair walking back inside shyly getting your laptops and changkyun being like “we are gonna,,,,um,,,,go,,,uh,,,stu,,-st-”
  • you: “we’re gonna make out again. im so sorry you had to see it though, bye.” LOL

anonymous asked:

So, if this Bianca isn't part of your act, is she a freeloader?

“Okay, technically I guess she’s our producer… But what does that even mean? She moves some chairs around? Writes up some schedules? If she was a part of our act, I could finally have a romantic female lead! The public freakin’ loves us together! And why wouldn’t they? Ain’t we cute together? And doesn’t our audience deserve to see me romancin’? I can only put Boris in drag so many times before it gets weird. But Bianca just keeps saying she doesn’t ‘want’ to. Psh. Some people can be so selfish!” - BTDD