It truly breaks my heart hearing that some of y'all are mistreated and talked down to as if you mean nothing. Let me tell you this, you mean something to me. You are worthy of love and you deserve happiness. You are loved and I promise it gets better, whatever you’re dealing with will pass I know it may seem like it won’t but trust me it will. You’re stronger than you think and you will get through this. God I truly wish I could give you all a giant hug and squeeze you and tell you just how wonderful you truly are. Please don’t be afraid to message me if you need it, it doesn’t matter if we’ve never talked I am here if you ever need me!
Something to remember when making friends with other Heathens are Heathen Values (or Virtues). Heathenry is a subculture with specific differences to the culture today.
Boasting is normal Never shame or take offense to someone bragging, boasting, or being proud of an accomplishment or talent. This is normal among heathens and is not considered rude. Pride is not something to be ashamed of in Heathen Halls or circles. In this same note, no one will be impressed by feigned humility or self-deprecation. If someone compliments you, accept it gracefully rather than arguing that you aren’t worthy. In addition, it is inappropriate to wave away thanks with comments like “it’s nothing”. If you are clearly going out of your way to do something for someone else and they say thank you, accept their thanks. You may add “you are welcome” or “I am happy to do it”, but do not dismiss it.
Be Careful with Your Word In Heathen culture your word is your oath. Whether you are attesting to someone else’s character, making plans, making a commitment, it is the same as swearing an oath or making a promise.
Today, people don’t think much about cancelling plans, going back on a commitment, or even gossip. It’s almost normal today to not be able to count on anyone’s word without a Contract or an RSVP, and even the latter is subject to “a good reason” in the mind of the person promising. Heathens do not take this lightly. Do not commit to things or make plans if you are unsure, do not say you will do something and then change your mind. And most definitely do not say something about someone else unless you are sure it is true. Oaths and Honor are entwined in Heathen culture, and if someone finds that your words don’t account for much, or you seem to “change your mind” often then you most likely will not be given much respect or trust. This is very different in comparison with our modern culture. And mistakes could keep you from making friends or being trusted within the Kindred.
Respect and/or Insults For Heathens respect is earned, not automatically given. Now, respect, and human decency are different things for the concept of this discussion. All humans deserve to be treated as having a right to exist and have basic human inalienable rights. Respect is something else - and means to hold someone in high esteem. It means you believe they are an Honorable person, you trust their word and you find them capable. This does not come just by existing, and others must recognize this with time. And you must earn it with your character by demonstrating that you exhibit the virtues valued by the Kindred. Likewise, insulting someone should not be done flippantly. Today, it is normal to sling insults for fun, for drama, or just because you like insulting others. But among Heathens insults are not taken lightly. Our ancestors might have solved an insult with the sword. To insult someone without proof of your words was to risk your life. Today, you may not risk your life, but you do risk your own reputation among the Kindred. Heathens do not appreciate insults, whether directed at them or another of their Kindred. I also would not put it past a Heathen to deck their insulter. ;) Either way, be careful with demanding respect you have not yet earned, or insulting others. You won’t make friends easily this way. (Friendly insults over drinks is something entirely different… and you should know the difference before deciding to deliver)
Forgiveness Here’s a tricky concept in Heathenry. Our culture sees Forgiveness from a Christian standpoint. And more often than not it is normal to hear it suggested that forgiveness should be handed out to those who have wronged us whether they are remorseful of their actions or not. Forgiveness is such a HUGE part of Christianity that it has shaped Western Culture as well: “To err is human, to forgive Divine” and all that. It’s also a concept that exists in many peaceloving religions like Taoism and Buddhism. Heathens just don’t see it the same way. Like respect, forgiveness must be earned. And forgiveness is a good deal harder to earn than respect. More often than not, Heathens will “let it go”, or consider it “water under the bridge” rather than offer forgiveness. Perhaps it’s pride, perhaps it is because a Heathen sees forgiveness as permission to be wronged again in the same way. This really was not the way our ancestors handled things however. Personally, I have redefined western culture’s idea of forgiveness as “being able to let go a wrong”, “to not be burdened by someone else’s betrayal or mistake” any longer.” In modern times more and more people are starting to redefine forgiveness as these things. But really it’s an extension of a much older mindset. Heathens do not often hand out forgiveness. It is not expected, and just because someone is “sorry” does not necessarily earn them back their honor in another’s eyes. The slate is not automatically whiped clean (like in christianity) with an apology. This is another reason you must watch your actions and your words.
Storytelling and “Big Fish” Storytelling is also a huge part of heathenry. Like our ancestors we love a good tale. It is quite normal for someone who is Heathen to launch into a lengthy recount of a personal story for entertainment or laughs. No one sees it as a time waster, and you should not find yourself bored (unless the person is a lousy storyteller, and even then… try to look interested). These stories may come in succession - when one person finished, another person might begin theirs immediately. While LONG stories aren’t necessarily normal in western culture anymore, they most definitely will be found when hanging out with kindred. Moreover, tales often get stretched, altered, and embellished with each telling to be funnier and more memorable. These are not really seen as “lies” but amusing tales. It is also quite normal for one “Big Fish” story to follow another as each in the party try to “one up” the other. It’s all in good fun. But DON’T EVER cut someone off in their tale to insert your own, and never shut them down as being disinterested or as if you have something better to do. To do so is extremely insulting.
If anyone has some more to add, go right ahead. :)
How do you deal with heartache, unsure if the most meaningful relationship yet is broken or if there's still hope. All I can do is wait and hope for the best. I'm thinking change must be good, I'll grow from it. There's a reason why. But it was so unexpected. Having my love be crushed over Night? How is that even possible? Isn't there a cure to drink? Because I, dear cherry, am so. very. very. confused. by. love.
Heart break fucking sucks!! Breakups fucking suck. But they help us grow in life. They are life experiences we all have to/should go through, I think its healthy to experience both sides of love. Time is the best remedy for heart break, talking to yourself everyday and reminding yourself that you are worthy of love and are meant to be happy. Know that we are not meant for everyone, not everyone we meet is meant to stay in our lives! You’ll be more then ok love! You just need to heal
Omfg Renee. I saw the cutest guy in the library today. He had his hair in a bun and this scruff that just like demanded i run my fingers through it. His jawline could cut a bitch LET ME TELL YOU! And i stared a little bit as i walked in and he noticed 🙄 so he watched me walk behind a shelf so i was trying to stare through the books and he freaking caught me! Im such a loser! And when i was walking to class he skated by me and i died. He couldnt have been prettier. His eyes were so grey. Im dead
He sounds gorgeous!!! Maybe he was equally as struck by your beauty and he was beyond flattered that you found him worthy of your stares!!!!
Do you have any advice on how to deal with fatphobic family members? My mum keeps telling me how unattractive I am because of my weight and how no one will want to be with me :(
first off all of that is a lie and don’t believe a single word of that! like babe you’re gorgeous and there are billions of people out there so don’t think for one second that you’re not worthy of love. i know having people like that in your life can be so hard and i’m so sorry you have to deal with that. when i’m faced with people like that i always try to tune them out, like flat out ignore what they’re saying. there’s a saying that i always think of and it’s “water off a ducks back” like just let that shit roll off ya and be unfazed by their words. but it being your mom makes things much trickier. maybe try to have a conversation with her and explain how you feel when she says things like that (but i totally understand having a parent that’s dead set in their ways). i wish you the best of luck and please don’t hesitate to talk to me if you need any more help 💞
mood: reading multiple collections of poetry and prose,
Renaissnce-styled villas, sketching ancient architecture practicing speaking italian,spectacular views,spending hours people-wathcng in a cafè, hot and humid summer days
You can’t attract what you WANT if you don’t believe it can be yours
a very simple yet complex Universal “law” so to speak.
Think about it, we ARE consciousness, the Universe, creation, God energy or whatever you resonate with calling it. And as we know, it is our vibratory frequency that creates our reality. It’s the energy we exude that is reflected back to us in our reality, this is the energy that creates the world we see. And it IS easily changed! This is just an example to get you thinking about being a creator of your reality: Think about when you wake up and stub your toe, drop your toothbrush and hit traffic on your way to work making you late. Odds are this cycle started when you stubbed your toe and instead of thinking “Ha, okay that hurt but it’s over now”, maybe you thought. “Damn, that hurt, why is my life so awful?” or “OW! This is the day I am going to have? Great?…” or “Why does this always happen to me?” or something along that negative way of thinking. And that’s okay, you can think whatever you want, but just remember this does set off a domino reaction. You thought things weren’t working for you, so they continued not to, and you continued to think that. Even though it isn’t even a little bit true (you deserve good things). You inadvertently created a negative cycle, which again is perfectly okay, there is nothing wrong with this. We are human and we have to learn these lessons! Of course we go through life with certain beliefs that have been molded, and changed, and evolved as we learn lessons and grow as humans. But sometimes it’s these underlying beliefs that hold us back from getting what we really want. NEWSFLASH! You can have absolutely ANYTHING you want in life, the perfect relationship, the beautiful car, the great job, the nice house (if you choose these things and they resonate with you). The only thing that could possibly stop you is your mind. That is it! So sometimes you need to look at what you believe and shift it or change it completely in order to get into a better receiving state for what you want. Do you believe that you are worthy of everything you want? Do you believe that you are one with creation, and the Universe, and that you could have something appear just because you simply desire it? Do you believe you are worthy of being happy? or loved? or wealthy? Or do you believe that you are always “just making it by” or that “love isn’t something you can have”? Get to these beliefs, and change the ones that make you feel bad. The only reason they make you feel bad is because your higher self, the Universe, and any other high vibratory frequencies know that they are 100% UNTRUE. While it takes time to change some beliefs because you have had them for a very long time and it’s sort of “natural” for you to think of them, you CAN change them. And the SECOND you do everything around you will change. I know firsthand, I have seen these things happen! Ask for what you want always, and KNOW that you CAN have it, and more importantly that you ARE worthy of it. Change your beliefs, change your thoughts, change your life! Take back your power!