you are trying to murder me

Dropped Once Important OUAT Plot Device Objects

I’m trying to remember them all, help me out here.

- Murder Shovel (season 1)

- Magic Compass (season 2)

- Storybrooke Self-Destruct Gem (season 2)

- Zelena Power Pendant (season 3)

- Will Scarlet (season 4) 

- Rumple Death Countdown Rose (season 5)

- Magic Mushroom (season 5)

- Olympian Crystal Dildo (season 5)

- Magic Scissors (season 6)

anonymous asked:

Let's not forget that Han was a criminal and a smuggler and probably killed hundreds of people during his career. Same with Lando. And watch Clone Wars...every Jedi in that show is murdering people left and right, including the "heroes" Anakin and Ahsoka. Luke almost killed the Emperor while Emperor was unarmed. Rey tried to kill Kylo. Finn killed hundreds of people on Yako

This Anon: Maybe the real villains are the people who kill bad guys in order to protect the galaxy from evil menaces who wish to bring harm on innocent souls? Makes you think. 🤔

So i started reading Killing Stalking...

Killing Stalking is soooo fucked up…but in the most perfect way. What is it with me and shipping fictional murderers with innocent people.?! I think a lot of people in the Hannibal (or rather Hannigram) fandom might enjoy Killing Stalking. Give it a try but get ready for some real good fucked up shit.

I mean look at that art, it is so great !!! And the story is is so good too !!! Ah I am in love ><

anonymous asked:

So... Junkrat definitely prescribes to the "you can't be murdered in the shower if you have happy music on" school of thought, right? And the way things go, at least one bounty hunter's last moments have consisted of a naked man clubbing them to death with his own arm while "Theme For A Nude Beach" by The B52's (ironically) plays in the background, right?

to be entirely honest I barely shower because I think people will kill me and I DONT have bounty hunters actively trying to murder me….junk probably gives himself a Depression Washcloth Bath when necessary

Burnout (Septiplier AU) |Part 1|

Yay new AU! I know its sloppy and short, I need to ease back into writing but yeah, this should be a super exciting series, several parts I have planned, and lots of plot twists. Maybe even some tickling? Who knows. Feedback is greatly appreciated!!

Warning: Profanity, gangs, gonna get super f’ing gay soon

Keep reading

5

((Sorry not sorry for drawing yuuri in bob’s burgers style and him as a pony :’D))

Part 2 of The Art Style Challenge!

If you guys wanna request an art style that you want me to try and what character should I draw with that style you can >u<

Part one could be found here

You know what makes me want to cry? Draco Malfoy in sixth year. Remember you had to sit by yourself at school for a minute, or listen to your parents argue while you sat upstairs hugging you knees? Now imagine your weren’t sat for a minute, but a whole year, and you knew it wasn’t going to change. Imagine your parents arguing, not over who did the dishes our why they’re late home, but over a sociopathic murderer who you’re sharing your house with. Imagine having to kill your teacher. I can’t even try to imagine that but what I can imagine is how lonely he was and and I’m crying again.

what john’s note REALLY said

Dear Sherlock,

By the time you read this I’ll be dead. This is how I think it’s gonna happen:

Your sister will shoot me, then Mycroft will try to shoot a clown, then your sister will blow us up, then we’ll all get on a boat and go to murder prison island, then get trapped, I’ll try to shoot a warden but I won’t be able to, you’ll try to shoot Mycroft, then you’ll try to shoot yourself, then your sister will shoot all of us.

PS then a bunch of gay conspirators will read this letter and then shoot each other.

i love the fics where one universe’s ryan is swapped with the ryan of another universe and then shenanigans ensue because obviously that’s not ryan he’s trying to murder everything in a two-mile radius

but i also get a kick out of the concept that achievement hunter ryan is just so goddamn weird that nobody notices anything’s amiss for, like. a while.

so like maybe minecraft mad king ryan is swapped out with regular ryan, and when he returns everybody’s like, “oh, hey, you’re finally back!”

and ryan’s like, “how’d you know it wasn’t me? was he trying to enslave you all or something?”

“well, yeah, but we thought that was just you, like. method acting.”

“what.”

“ryan, last week you threw knives into the wall.”

“then how the hell did you know it wasn’t me?”

“oh, michael brought in donuts and you didn’t want any.”

2

So this was it: this was the moment where she tried to murder me. “I knew this was a trap!”

She chuckled once. “Yes,” she said ominously, “but you’re mistaken about what I want to catch you for.”

While I was trying to figure out what she meant by that, she stepped up against me and pinned me with her hips. Her whole body, right up against mine.

From Chapter 2 of East End by the amazing @asynca :D
(I highly recommend that you read all of her fics, they are A+++)

PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASYYYYYYY~ <3

Time for me to swapify the world apparently (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و✧

Idea originated from: @fanficcentral30
Original Dusttale au belongs to: @ask-dusttale

Lemonade
  • Aries: Sorry // "Middle fingers up, I ain't thinking 'bout you"
  • Taurus: All Night // "You get deep you touch my mind. Baptize your tears and dry your eyes"
  • Gemini: Love Drought // "Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying. But nine times outta ten, I know you're trying"
  • Cancer: Daddy Lessons // "My daddy warned me about men like you, He said baby girl he's playing you"
  • Leo: Don't Hurt Yourself // "I am the dragon breathing fire, Beautiful mane I'm the lion"
  • Virgo: Hold Up // "What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy, jealous or crazy? Or like being walked all over lately, walked all over lately"
  • Libra: 6 inch // "Six inch heels, she walked in the club like nobody's business. Goddamn, she murdered everybody and I was her witness"
  • Scorpio: Sandcastles // "Dishes smashed on my counter From our last encounter"
  • Sagittarius: Freedom // "I'm telling these tears, "Go and fall away, fall away" May the last one burn into flames"
  • Capricorn: Forward // "I love you more than this job, please don't work for me"
  • Aquarius: Formation // "I did not come to play with you hoes, haha, I came to slay, bitch"
  • Pisces: Pray You Catch Me // "You can taste the dishonesty, it's all over your breath"
Top 10 reasons to read Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

#1 Kaz’ first time

“You were first arrested at ten,” he said scanning the pages.

“Everybody remembers their first time.”

#2 Inej’s deepest desires

Inej crossed her arms. One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder.

#3 Jesper being reassuring

“Just stay behind me and try not to get killed. Ready?”

Wylan shook his head.

“Then forget that I asked.”

#4 Nina

“It’s just so much easier to kill people than take care of them.”

#5 Ladies discussing their suitors with upmost esteem

“He was afraid for you.”

“Kaz isn’t afraid of anything.”

“You should have seen his face when he brought you to me.”

“I’m a very valuable investment.”

Nina’s jaw dropped. “Tell me he didn’t say that.”

“Of course he did. Well, not the valuable part.”

“Idiot.”

“How’s Matthias?”

“Also an idiot.”

#6 Kaz being the bastard of the Barrel, the demon full of tricks, the mad man everyone feared  a 17 year old with a crush

“You know i can do it, Kaz, and you know I’m not going to refuse. So why ask?”

Because i’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

OR

He needed to know that she believed in him.

#7 Girl power

“It’s not natural for women to fight.” (Nina)

“It’s not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand.” (Matthias)

#8 Power of seductress

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!” She(Nina) poked him(Matthias) in the chest.

“Stop that.”

“No. I’m beguiling you.”

“Quit it.”

She danced around him in the snow, poking his chest, his stomach, his side. “Goodness! You’re very solid. This is strenuous work.” He started to laugh. “It’s working! The beguiling has begun. The Fjerdan has fallen. You are powerless to resist me.”

#9 Heartbreaking, emotional and painful love declarations

“Maybe I liked your stupid face.”

#10 101 Swearing with Prof. Jesper Fahey

“Prepared to hear the sound of certain doom?” he asked.

“You’ve never heard my father mad.”

“That sense of humor is getting progressively more Barrel-appropriate. If we survive, I’ll teach you how to swear.”


For those of you who might still need some more convincing I made part 2: Top 10 reasons to read Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

Drabble Challenge! #1 - 150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!


  1. Take the long way around
  2. Can you shut up for five minutes, please???
  3. He’s been gone for quite a while
  4. I can’t see anything.
  5. I heard a noise.
  6. Scary movies are for chumps.
  7. You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today.
  8. The floor is lava.
  9. Where’s my food?
  10. I bet you feel like an artist
  11. Did you ever clean the attic?
  12. Can I be of assistance?
  13. Get out of the way before I murder you.
  14. I think you forgot who wears the pants in this relationship
  15. You’re breaking my heart, babe.
  16. Cry me a river.
  17. Build a bridge.
  18. Get over it.
  19. Another credit card?!
  20. It’s just rain, you aren’t gonna melt!
  21. When’s the last time YOU cleaned the bathroom?
  22. I don’t know why I married you.
  23. Have you ever lied to me?
  24. If I trip over one more of your shoes, I’m throwing them all away.
  25. Aren’t you supposed to be the adult?
  26. I’m stuck! Help me!
  27. I swear, I’m not scared.
  28. What do you think a cupholder is for?
  29. You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?
  30. Turn that sh*t off!!!!
  31. When’s that last time we went on a date?
  32. I thought you didn’t like cats?
  33. The door’s locked.
  34. Remember when you were a kid and you ______ (insert memory)
  35. I’ll just tell your mom on you.
  36. I thought you were nice.
  37. I had a dream about you.
  38. I work pretty hard around here, but you get all the credit
  39. What color do you like better?
  40. Am I your husband or your taxi service?
  41. Take notes, sweetheart.
  42. This is where you impress me, right?
  43. Pick up lines only work when I’m drunk.
  44. I can’t believe you didn’t remember
  45. If that makes me a child, so be it.
  46. I could beat you up, you know that right?
  47. Would it kill you to help people?
  48. I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing.
  49. But, I said I love you.
  50. Is it just me or is cold as hell in here?
  51. I’m not weird, you’re just basic.
  52. Just sleep with one eye open, that’s all I’m saying
  53. Take off your shirt.
  54. Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?
  55. Way to go, kid.
  56. I found the candles, we’ll be alright.
  57. We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.
  58. You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?
  59. …or we could make out….
  60. I said “I HAVE AN IDEA!”
  61. Down the hall, second door on the left.
  62. I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mom warned you.
  63. Sit still, for the love of all that is Holy.
  64. Are you even human?
  65. We’ll talk later.
  66. K.
  67. I’m afraid.
  68. I thought there was time.
  69. Can you just leave me alone?
  70. I’ll carry it.
  71. We’re not ‘fine’.
  72. Are you really taking his side right now?
  73. I like proving you wrong.
  74. Girls can’t drive, plain and simple.
  75. Who are you?
  76. I think you need stitches
  77. Must be a coincidence
  78. Can you be romantic for once?
  79. This is your fault by the way.
  80. Nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.
  81. Excuse me for falling in love with you.
  82. I have fans. More fans than you to be exact.  
  83. I paid for half and you ate three-quarters.
  84. I knew you’d be mad.
  85. If you die, I’m going to kill you.
  86. You’ve never smoked anything in your life.
  87. You gave me a black eye.
  88. Stop looking at me like that, weirdo.
  89. What if it sinks?
  90. Birds can’t fly without wings.
  91. Sorry I’m protective over the things I love.
  92. That SOOO classifies as a date.
  93. No backsies.
  94. You’re an idiot. I married an idiot.
  95. I never liked it, I lied.
  96. Remember, we have to get up early tomorrow.
  97. Are you trying to flirt? Because, you’re embarrassing yourself.
  98. Remember when we were dating and you _____
  99. Be brave, sweetheart.
  100. I’m sorry, but that was adorable.
  101. You don’t hate me, quit lying to yourself.
  102. You hear that? That’s the sound of my awesomeness.
  103. She’s my daughter, I can read her diary.
  104. That’s a fact, Jack.
  105. Actually, I couldn’t care less.
  106. I try my best.
  107. Doesn’t make a difference to me anyways.
  108. I’m glad you’re mine.
  109. You look pretty good for your age.
  110. You passed out for like an hour.
  111. Delete it. Now.
  112. You’re a jerk.
  113. Are you high?
  114. No, you’re MY bitch.
  115. Ew ew ew. You’re so gross.
  116. Spare change for the poor and lonely.
  117. She’s 6, how can she scare you?
  118. When’s the last time we ______
  119. He’s spoiled rotten.
  120. I can’t stay long.
  121. There’s nothing we can do.
  122. Do you ever stop smiling?
  123. Step aside and watch a pro.
  124. Never give him stuff like that!
  125. You’re the one who left it laying around.
  126. I’m a lucky girl. I’ll admit that.
  127. Teach me how to play?
  128. It’s called a prank.
  129. Well, you’re a prick.
  130. Good, I hope you feel bad.
  131. You have cold, you’re not dying.
  132. I have reasons. You wouldn’t get it.
  133. I hope you have a cold shower.
  134. You don’t mean that.
  135. Sing to me, please.
  136. Did you enjoy yourself last night?
  137. Why do they behave for you?
  138. Stop making your own rules.
  139. Don’t open an umbrella in the house.
  140. You know what happens when you assume things.
  141. That’s open for discussion.
  142. Oh, what a shocker, you have an excuse.
  143. Be serious for two minutes, please.
  144. I cheated.
  145. What’s the biggest lie you ever told?
  146. Pillows are over-rated.
  147. Zombies aren’t real, I promise.
  148. Are we lost or do you know where we are?
  149. We started with one and now we have seven. You have no chill.
  150. *Make up your own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

  • Poe: Once when I was a kid, I told my mom it was a teachers’ work day so I wouldn’t have to go to school but mom’s not an idiot, so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it WAS a teachers’ work day and that made me think I had superpowers so I started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory.
  • Steinbeck: You thought you had superpowers, so you immediately attempted to murder everyone.
  • Poe: Go big or go home.

“You’re late, chat noir!”
“Im-pawsible, m’lady! I’m not late, everyone else is simply early~”

⭐️Carnival AU aka chat trying to play it cool while ladybug does neat-o trapeze tricks :)⭐️
help me I’m stuck in ml hell

remember that anon who requested a patater engagement?

yeah.

Kent’s sitting on their couch on a random Friday night, blindfolded and laughing as Tater feeds him something round and cold.

“Another grape,” he says once he’s finished chewing. “Come on, give me a challenge.” They’ve been at this for half an hour. Tater came home with the idea in his head that they try the Sensory Challenge, whatever that was, something from Russian Youtube. It involved people blindfolding each other and then making them feel, taste, smell, or hear things and then guessing what the things were.

So far, Kent’s had to guess the feel of the TV remote (”Easy.”), the sound of Tater shaking one of their house plants (”Tater, if you hurt one leaf on Alejandro, I’m going to murder you.”), and the smell of Tater’s socks from practice (”Alexei I am going to murder you.”)

After the socks, Tater started feeding him various fruits and veggies out of their fridge, as well as spoonfuls of ice cream, so Kent’s decided that Tater is forgiven. Tater told him earlier that he could take the blindfold off, but Kent’s having too much fun. He was half expecting this to devolve into something kinky. But Tater’s just playing the game, having fun, and Kent’s having fun, too.

That’s the thing he loves about Tater: the guy never lets him get bored. Tater’s always bringing something new into Kent’s life, a joke or a book or a recipe, a new perspective on life that Kent’s never seen before.

Kent’s eaten this brand of Rocky Road a million times, but with his vision gone and only his nose and mouth to inform his experience, it’s like a whole new flavor.

“Mm, you should kiss me now,” Kent says, smacking his lips.

Tater does. It’s a short peck; a soft, warm contrast to the hard, cold feel of the ice cream-laden spoon from a moment before.

“Now my turn,” Tater says against Kent’s mouth.

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