Washington On Your Side might not seem like the most obvious hype song but lemme tell you when that “SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS” hits I’m ready to kill a man in a duel at dawn in Weehawken
What she means: Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dUde mother fuckinG facebook movie bullshit jesus can you fucking bElieve this shIt goddamn creator of facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowin the boat fuck yo shit I cant even fuckin believe this shit have you seen this shit Fuck I just watched this shit Fuck Jesse EisenberG man motherfucking spiderman spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build sHit with his barE hAnDs fucking best friend shit jeSse Eisenberg I’m very tired No man I’ll just talk aBout the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to bE sO interested in the shit I have to say about the facebook movie fUck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over spiderman crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented faceboOk Who the fuck invented Facebook
motherfucking Griffin Mcelroy JESUS Christ fuck dude mother fucking Adventure Zone bullshit JESUS can you fucking believe this shit God damn DMs The Adventure zone then fucking red robes and shit right fucking evil litch twins God damn the suffering game God damn this shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just listened to this shit fuck Griffin Macelroy man motherfucking Magnus Brunsides Magnus Brunsides you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Griffin Macelroy
I’m very tired
no man I’ll just talk about the adventure zone all day shit man you must be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Adventure zone fuck dude I just listened the year and a half ago fuck Griffen Macelroy man man he fucked over Magnus Brunsides and crazy litch twins rowing Taako taaco did the soundtrack fuck this guy who dms the adventure zone I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck is the red robe all I can think is the guy who played the guy who is the red robe who the fuck is the red robe
Motherfucking Antisepticeye Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfucking glitching bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit Goddamn person who thought of bringing the glitch bitch into our lives goddamn all in our face fucking shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Antisepticeye man Motherfucking neon green tennis ball head shit you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking cut his own throat with his bare hands and fucking green hair shit Antisepticeye I’m very tired No man I’ll just talk about the glitch son thing all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the glitch thing fuck dude I just saw it a year and a half ago fuck Antisepticeye man he fucked over his fan base with all these glitches and that video man and shit man or did the theories fuck this guy who thought of the glitching shit I don’t like glitches I cant think of who the fuck thought of the glitches and shit all I can think of is the video where the guy thought of the glitches and shit who the fuck thought of the glitching and shit
Hey, Alex, have you seen Lena Luthor anywhere? I've been trying to track her down...
Hold on, hold on. Let me handle this.
*shouting at the top of her lungs* KARA DANVERS SUCKS, SHE'S SUCH A LOSER!!
*bursts through the wall like the motherfucking Kool-Aid Man* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TAKE IT BACK KARA DANVERS IS PERFECT AND WONDERFUL AND EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WORLD DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT MY GIRLFRIE-I MEAN MY HERO BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU...
here we have clary, a girl hater who dislikes people purely for being pretty. then Jace who makes unnecessary nasty comments and is so hetero that he can't be seen drinking something pink. this is Simon, a guy who two times on girls but it's okay because "he liked them both so much, he couldn't make up his mind". oh those people, they're...um..m-ma...errr isador...lu..alejand..it doesn't matter they just stay in the background.
LISTEN UP ANGELS, HERE WE HAVE CLARY FREAKING FRAY, BOSSASS BITCH WHO IS FINDING OUT WHO SHE IS. INSANE RUNE POWER. IS SMOL BUT WILL FIGHT YOU. THIS IS JACE MOTHERFUCKING WAYLAND OR YOU COULD CALL HIM LIGHTWOOD BECAUSE FUCK IS HE APART OF THAT FAMILY. HE MAY BE BROKEN BUT HE FOUND HIMSELF A FAMILY. GOES BACK TO HIS ABSUER TO SAVE HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS. SIMON FUCKING LEWIS, MOST RELATABLE DUDE ON THE PLANET, 100% PANSEXUAL CONFIRMED, BET YOUR ASS HE'S THE FUCKING KING OF MOVIE REFERENCES. NEWS FLASH- THERES MORE THAN 3 MAIN CHARACTERS. Y'ALL BETTER PREPARE YOUR ASSES TO MEET ISABELLE SOPHIA LIGHTWOOD. BEST FORENSIC PATHOLOGIST IN NEW YORK AT 18. COULD KILL YOU WITH HER 7INCH HEEL WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT. MOST COMPASSIONATE PERSON. YOU LIKE HER? WAIT TIL YOU MEET HER BROTHER ALEC FREAKING LIGHTWOOD, LEADER OF THE NEW YORK INSTITUTE, WON BEST BIG BROTHER AWARD 20 YEARS IN A ROW. ALSO HAS AN EPIC JOURNEY OF ACCEPTING HIMSELF. WHAT WAS THAT WE HEAR? GOOD LGBT REP? YOU CAN MOTHERFUCKING COUNT ON IT. THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND MAGNUS BANE, HIGH WARLOCK OF BROOKLYN, KING OF THE SASS, OWNER OF NEW YORK'S BIGGEST HEART, AINT NOBODY'S PET WARLOCK. WAIT WE'VE SAVED THE BEST TIL LAST...LUKE GARROWAY, RESIDENT COP, HAS JUST FINISHED ADOPTING EVERYONE, CONFIRMED DILF, BEAUTIFUL MOTHERFUCKER WITH A GUN AND GLOWING GREEN EYES. WE LOVE ALL MAIN CHARACTERS. WE LOVE YOU. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.
motherfucking bill finn jesus christ fuck dude motherfuckin falsettoland bullshit jesus can you fucking believe this shit god damn created falsettos then fucking lesbians and shit right fucking weisenbachfelds god damn planning the bar mitzvah fuck yo shit i can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck i just watched this shit fuck bill finn man motherfucking whizzer brown whizzer brown you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with this bare hands fucking “my friend” shit bill finn i'm very tired man i'll just talk about the falsettos musical all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit i have to say about the falsettos musical fuck dude i just watched it a year and a half ago fuck bill finn man he fucked over whizzer brown crazy james lapel in directed fuck this guy who wrote falsettos i don't like dying i can't think of who the fuck wrote falsettos all I can think is who killed whizzer brown who the fuck killed whizzer brown WILLIAM FINN
MOTHERFUCKING FIREBRAND FUCK DUDE MOTHERFUCKING TRIBETWELVE SERIES BULLSHIT CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT GODDAMN CREATED TRIBETWELVE AND FUCKING WRITER AND SHIT RIGHT FUCKING THE OBSERVER GODDAMN THE COLLECTIVE FUCK YOUR SHIT I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHIT FUCK I JUST WATCHED THIS SHIT FUCK FIREBRAND MAN MOTHERFUCKING MILO ASHER MILO ASHER YOU PUT IN THE JOURNAL FUCK PUT IN THE JOURNAL MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT WITH HIS BARE HANDS FUCKING BEST FRIENDS SHIT NOAH MAXWELL NO MAN I’LL JUST TALK ABOUT THE TRIBETWELVE SERIES ALL DAY SHIT MAN YOU HAVE TO BE SO INTERESTED IN THE SHIT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE TRIBETWELVE SERIES FUCK DUDE I JUST WATCHED IT A FEW HOURS AGO FUCK FIREBRAND MAN HE FUCKED UP OVER MILO ASHER CRAZY NOAH MAXWELL GETTING FUCKED OR DID THE SOUNDTRACK FUCK THIS GUY WHO CREATED TRIBETWELVE I DON’T LIKE DYING I CAN’T THINK OF WHO THE FUCK INVENTED TRIBETWELVE ALL I CAN THINK IS THE GUY PLAYED BY THE GUY WHO INVENTED TRIBETWELVE WHO THE FUCK INVENTED TRIBETWELVE
motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg JESUS Christ fuck dude mother fucking Facebook movie bullshit JESUS can you fucking believe this shit God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winkle boss twins God damn rowing the boat God damn this shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I’m very tired no man I’ll just talk about the facebook movie all day shit man you must be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched the year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man man he fucked over Spider-Man and crazy winkleboss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook in the woods.
This is for the anon who requested for Anti. I sorta changed it a bit; instead of them forming a friendship, I’ve written the reader and Sean have been friends for a long time. Sorry if that’s an issue, it made it a little easier to write :)
“I have no clue if this fits Anti in your view, but if the reader had recently moved to Ireland and comes across him, thinking he’s Sean, and they befriend each other (him kind of fancying her) but someone who is against Anti kidnaps her and really tortures her (physically and mentally) and Anti finally finds them and goes BALLISTIC and saves her, revealing that he isn’t Sean and the reader doesn’t care but lets him comfort and confess his feelings to her? Sorry it’s weird… Thank you so much!!”
Warnings: swearing, mentions of torture, angst, fluff, a little blood, violence, knives.
namjoon scenario pweaase where he’s a gang leader and you, his wife get kidnapped and the kidnappers torture you to get the information and namjoon is desperate to find you? make it angsty with good end pleaaase
Hope you like it
You knew who he was, what
he did..but you couldn’t resist him.
There was an inexplicable
bond between you two, you called it fate. Like a magnet you were
attracted in his world full of danger and lies but you didn’t want to
come back because in this world he was like a safe heaven.
Kim Namjoon was the boss
of the gang who controlled the Seoul’s district where you were born
and grew up, your mother always told you to be aware of Kim family.
She told you not to come close to them, to change road if you met
them and so you did, for you entire life until that day.
He was like an angel,
fallen from the sky to save you when some guys from another gang were
bothering you while you were getting home from work. He was so fast
you couldn’t understand what was going on, you only could feel his
strong arms wrapped around you to turn you away from the guys and his
soft voice whispering “Don’t be afraid”.
From that moment Namjoon
never left your side, your parents didn’t want you to date him but
your love were stronger that all the voices of the people around you;
you got married after 13 months in secret, he said it was dangerous
if someone found out who you were because you were his weakness and
they could easily hurt you to get him.
But they found you
You were getting ready to
leave the house when someone knocked at your door, you quickly went
to open it when you saw two tall mans in black smiling at you, they
took a gun out from their jackets and then covered your eyes, you
were lifted and took to a car.
-We got her
boss..yes..yes..yes we’ll look for it..yes alive I know
They tied your wrist and
putted something in your mouth so you couldn’t talk.
After what felt like an
eternity they stopped the car and you were lifted again, they made
you sit on a chair, tied you on it and took of the bandage off your
-He will kill you, all of
-No he won’t..or we’ll cut
One of them with a gun in
his hand, the other with a knife.
He would have found you,
you were sure it was just a matter of time..but what will they do to
you until then? You were scared and alone..you didn’t understand
where out were, you tried to follow the car movements as he told you
but it didn’t work.
You were in a big black
garage, with some stairs that connected it somewhere else and one
door, it was hot.
-So where are all the
diamonds that your nice husband has?
Diamonds? He never told
you anything of his business because he knew it would have been
dangerous, you remember him telling you “Babe, I can’t tell you
anything because I love you too much..if someone tries to hurt you to
find things out just tell him you know nothing, just convince
them..understood?”. That time you thought he was a bit exaggerating
but know..know you did understand.
-Where are they?
-I don’t know
-I am not..why would I???
I don’t want to die for some stupid diam..
The man with the knife
slapped you on the right cheek, it was so hard you could taste blood
in your mouth
-Stop lying princess
-I am not.. he never tell
me anything of his work
He grabbed your hair and
put his face near yours
-Why would I trust you?
-Cause that’s your only
Another slap, and you
could feel your cheeks burning, blood coming out from your mouth
-Princess let’s do it my
He grabbed the knife and
without hesitation put it on your neck..you were never so scared your
entire life and you could only think of Joon.
Kim would kill you if you do something to his princess
other man said, and you thanked God he wasn’t as stupid as the other
talk, he will never find you
time he punched you, in the stomach.. you almost threw up.. the pain
was too strong to handle.
spitted some blood and tears started run from your eyes
smart one got a call and left the both of you alone and so you
started thinking of a plane to escape
really want to die eh?
looked at him and asked
have to go to the bathroom
sight and started to untie you but you decided that this was your
only chance, when your feet was free you punched him as hard as you
could and started running away
reached the door and tried to open it, the man was cursing you on the
floor, you opened it but then, in front of you..
never felt so much pain in your life, every inch of your body hurt
and you could do nothing but breathing and that was hard..
told you to look after her!
punched me in the face!!!
were again on the chair and you could barely keep your eyes open when
you heard your phone ring
it’s calling you princess, should we answer?
you said almost whispering, not strong enough to complete the
there, your wifey’s phone!
man putted him on speaker so you could hear him, you prayed for him
to be close, you couldn’t resist anymore
the fuck are you?
are you mad at us?? We wanted to have fun!!
kill all of you little fuckers, just let me get you
think you better stay calm or your love will be hurt
even think of touching her
HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?
was being a bad girl so we just teached her a lesson, now..where are
kill you all
are the diamonds?
man grabbed your hair making you whine in pain, being sure he heard
She know nothing! Let her go!
little princess is tired here, why don’t you just tell us everything?
she still talks
I am on my way
you guys are so romantic but actually Kim Namjoon you better tell us
where the fuck are the diamonds
let her go..and I will give them to you
can we trust you?
got my wife..
had no idea of what time it was, you were still tied on the chair,
blood on your pinks sweater and your blue jeans. Suddenly the door
opened and you saw him.
is here princess, are you happy??
away from her
someone has an attitude here
man with the gun looked at you, and smirked at you
your wife is really strong, and beautiful
looked at you, you could see anger in his eyes
smiled at him, knowing that now you were safe
close your eyes
knew what was going to happened so you did as he said..
and corpse who felt and the ground, that’s all you heard
felt his hands cupping your face and as you opened your eyes you
I am so sorry
am here ok? Everything is going to be ok
I am sorry..I .. I
hugged you and kissed your head softly, trying not to hurt you
I am so sorry.. I should have protected you from this
love yo too Y/N.. I am really sorry ok? But I promise you this will
never happen again, ok?
started to feel your eyes heavy as he was starting to untie you and
so you felt asleep.
woke up in your bed, it was dark outside, you turned around and found
him watching you
are you ok?
I am fine now
the doctor said you have to rest for a few days
looked at you and you saw tears in his eyes
I am ok, I love you and I know that you did everything to find me as
soon as possible.
wasn’t fast enough. They hurted you
you killed them
started at him in his eyes and kissed him softly
killed them and they will never hurt me again
(Rubs my tiny hands together) Time to overturn 90% of Klance fics lol
Pidge wouldn’t know SHIT y’all, not unless someone told her. And even then there’s like a 85% chance she wasn’t listening. Pidge goes into the kitchen for some goo and finds Keith and Lance hugging and is like “what the fuck is this”
Lance: Pidge, I went to you for RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
Pidge: Yeah and I laughed cause I’m 14 and a LESBIAN Lance, I thought you were joking because how the FUCK was I supposed to help you.
Keith: I literally told you I was in love with Lance last week?
Pidge: Okay, awkward confession, but last week you hung out with my experimental hologram.. Sorry boi.
Lance: … Babe, you’re in love with me?
Pidge: (out the door) Bye.
Shiro: (coughs into fist) Please… Do not… Do anything anywhere I might sit.
Keith: Shiro oh my god we literally just started going out???
Lance: Right now our current record is holding hands for five minutes straight. Keith has been doing really well, I’m super proud of him.
Keith: Lance… (tentatively hooks their pinkies)
Lance: Babe, not in front of Shiro omg
Keith: Lance called me a ‘motherfucker’ today in Spanish.
Hunk: Oh man, do you want me to talk to him?
Keith: Nah, it’s fine. I called him an asshole in Korean first anyway.
Motherfucking Keith Kogane jesus christ fuck dude motherfucking Voltron bullshit jesus can you fucking believe this shit goddamn threaded the needle and fucking pilots and shit right fucking Holt siblings goddamn engineering the spaceship fuck yo shit i can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck i just seen this shit fuck
man motherfucking The Tailor The Tailor you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking rival shit
no man i’ll just talk about Voltron all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit i have to say about Voltron fuck dude i just formed it a year and a half ago fuck
man he fucked over The Tailor crazy Holts engineering trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who formed Voltron i don’t like dying i can’t think of who the fuck formed Voltron all i can think is the guy who has the role who formed Voltron who the fuck formed Voltron
It’s really been over half a decade since we lost you, Paul. We’ve been without your face, your music, and your touching nature for six years. We can only say so much for how much you’ve impacted the entire world, how you’ve saved lives and given hope to countless people of every age and race. You’ve created a monster that is growing in size and creativity and this monster is Slipknot. This monster has grown into such proportions that you’ve got millions of people that love you and will always have you in their hearts.
“The world will never see another crazy motherfucker like you… The world will never know another man as amazing as you…” – “Skeptic”
We miss you, Paulie. That laugh, smile, adorable horseplay, and that awesome lefty playing. Keep watching over the Maggots. We love you.
Motherfucking Danny Avidan jesus christ fuck dude motherfucking Ninja Sex Party singing bullshit jesus can you fucking believe this shit Goddamn created Cool Patrol and fucking covered Take On Me and shit right fucking Arin doesnt deserve him goddamn wearing neon spandex fuck yo shit i can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck i just watched this shit fuck Arin Hanson man Motherfucking Danny Sexbang you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking write shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Arin Hanson I’m very tired No man i’ll just talk about the Cool Patrol video all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit i have to say about the Cool Patrol video fuck dude i just watched it a 6 months ago fuck Markiplier man he fucked over Game Grumps crazy septiplier shippers freaking out or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who wrote cool patrol i don’t like dying i can’t stop thinking about who wrote Cool patrol all i can think is the guy who wrote cool patrol what the fuck fucking danny DANNY AVIDAN
So I’m reading the Council of Nikaea and I have the following statements to make....apologies for the foul language.
1. Fuck you Mortarion. Fuck you and your smelly, lame Astartes who couldn’t beat cavemen that wielded magic. Sore ass loser. And where is your bony hinder now? Serving a Chaos God with acid breath. Your former father was a Psyker…and guess what? Your current gene father is a Psyker too. Wow. Did you see the irony of that? Because I can, and I’m nowhere near Primarch level. Now you’re serving a WARP DEMON. AHAHAHAHAHA.
2. Same to you Ohthmere Wyrdmake. You hypocritical traitorous fleabag. Forged by Fenris my foot. You are a PSYKER. PSYKER. PSYKER.PSYKER.PSYKER.PSYKER. Hear that? PSSSSSSSSSSYKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR. While I’m glad Ahriman fed you to the devourers in the Warp I would’ve loved to have seen the look on your face when the Horus Heresy unraveled. Bring out the marshmallows because someone is going to get buuuuurrrned!
3. YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKERS MADE SANGUINIUS CRY!!!! There is absolutely no forgiveness for making that sweet, bloodthirsty, blackraged angelic man CRY. Nope. No forgiveness. Whatsoever. Done. (Incidentally, they did say here he had black hair and his wings were black and white. Interesting.)
4. Magnus was sooooo excited, so hyped up for Nikaea that he even dressed in his Sunday’s best to attend and what did y'all do? THROW IT ALL IN HIS FACE LIKE A CRIMINAL. Did you even give the man advance notice? HEY, SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER YOU’RE ON TRIAL FOR YOUR ASS. All hush, hush, secret. AMBUSH TRIAL. How classy. You couldn’t, oh, I know, maybe telepathically talk to him maybe, give him a heads up? You think he’s not gonna show up or something because he will defy you? Magnus loved his father, he would’ve obeyed like the son he was. For someone whose been talking to him since he was an embryo, his Dad sure knows shit about him.
5. And while we’re at it. what is he on trial for anyway? FOR SOMETHING YOU MADE HIM INTO. Here son, have these super duper special powers. And while we’re at it, let’s make an entire Goddamn legion…nope not a dozen, not a hundred, but an ENTIRE legion of warp-wielding super soldiers from your genes. Hey I’m giving you dangerous stuff here, but I won’t tell you its dangerous, or what could come out of it. It’s like giving a kid a Christmas present, then taking it back, making him put in back a box because he might shoot his eye out with it (hahahaha you can insert all the puns you want in here). THEN WHY GIVE HIM THE PRESENT IN THE FIRST PLACE???? Criminy cripes. Maybe you should’ve given him Space Legos.
6. And after all this BS, Magnus still had the desire to HELP prevent the Motherfucking Horus Heresy. He tried to save Horus. When that didn’t work, he tried to warn his father. AFTER his humiliation, AFTER his CENSURE. AFTER they told his Legion to shut up and fuck off. AFTER they have been labelled sorcerers, warlocks, wielders of black magic. HE STILL TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THING. He messed up. He made bad decisions. Sure. But you know what, HE COULD HAVE JUST WALKED AWAY AFTER NIKAEA and told everyone, FINE, I’M LETTING YOU ALL BURN IN HELL. I’M GOING TO SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING WHILE HORUS FUCKS UP THE GALAXY.
7. Of course, the clincher, the burning of Prospero. I haven’t gotten to that part yet but I’m likely to go off like this again.
I’m sorry if I offended anyone. I just had too many feelings after reading this part..Almost like the feelings I had reading about the assfuckery they did to Angron.