you are the 99 percent

Friendly reminder: This is what Trump thinks of Autistic people

“I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they’re silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, ‘Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.” 

— Mike Savage, Trump’s appointment to head the NIH

9

Have you ever found yourself wanting a metric ton of DAI music? Have you ever thought to yourself, aw man, DAI’s soundtrack was 15 hours shorter than I wanted it to be? If that sounds like you, then this is a link for you.

I’ve ripped all the music from this game - that is, all the ambient snippets of music that you hear while running around in the world, and all the music that happens in cutscenes - and it turns out there’s 16 hours (1.6 gigs) of it.

(- here’s the download link -)

So if you’ve found yourself wishing you had the heaps of music that never made it to the official soundtrack, you can now roll around in hours of it. 

  • Me: *sees someone post a screenshot that includes Levi and Eren in the same frame without tagging it as ereri
  • Me: woah
  • Me: someone give this guy a medal
Only Thing That Matters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.324 (I just don’t know how to stop, lol)

Request: “ I was wondering if you could do one where Bucky and the reader been dating, but Nat refuses to believe he loves her and makes a move on Bucky, the reader sees, but runs away before she sees Bucky pushing Nat off, the reader then leaves the tower with a note for Bucky telling him, but Bucky using his skills tracks her down, with lots of fluff at the end where he explains and tell reader how much he loves her.”

Warnings: The Avengers are a bunch of mean girls, just saying. Also I think I should mention it here, Nat is not nice in this one. Angst, fluff. 

A/N: This request was by the darling @melconnor2007 I hope I did you request justice. I freaking loved writing this one and it could’ve been muuch longer. Haha. Hope you love it, darling! 


Being part of the Avengers wasn’t always as glorious as people made it out to be. They were an established group, new members often chosen by themselves and outsiders weren’t as welcome as one might think they would be.

Nick Fury had chosen you for the Avengers. Being a former M16 agent, Fury had thought you to be a great addition to the Avengers and you had been ecstatic when he had come to you with the offer. You hadn’t even hesitated with saying yes and within a week you had moved into the Avengers facility and joined the team on missions.

Your dream of being an Avenger was quickly tarnished as you learned that you didn’t fit the team at all. It wasn’t that you couldn’t do your job properly, that you did, better than most of the team members, but there was just something that didn’t work out.

You weren’t always invited when the team went out, you weren’t always informed of all missions and more often than not, you found yourself feeling like a third wheel to the entire group.

It wasn’t that the team wasn’t nice, they were, you could speak to a lot of them, but they seemed more like acquaintances than friends and it made you feel left out. You knew they had been through a lot as a group, but it could often also seem like you were back in high school and you couldn’t sit with the popular kids no matter how hard you tried to impress them. So truth was, you had stopped trying.

Keep reading

Comments from some of Ted Bundy’s victims’ family members following his execution in 1989:

“I suspect it will trouble us for the rest of our lives.” -Dave Rancourt, father of Susan Rancourt.

“It’s a bag of mixed emotions when we find relief in a man’s death. We all feel justice has been done. All of his escapades– it was like a sharp knife twisting at us. It was being done to all of us- all his victims. If anything good comes of this, we won’t allow this to happen again.” -Vivian Rancourt, mother of Susan Rancourt.

(The spokesman-Review, January 25, 1989)


“I haven’t thought about forgiving him. How could you forgive somebody who hurts your child? I’m not that gracious an individual.” -Edie Hawkins, mother of Georgeann Hawkins.

(Green Valley News, June 11, 2014)


“I view him pretty much as cancer that has to be removed.” -Donald E. Blackburn, father of Janice Ott.

(The Telegraph, January 24, 1998)


“I feel kind of numb in a way. My daughter’s murder was taken care of. He paid for what he did. It seems like I was sentenced to a lifetime of waiting. Now there’s really nothing to wait for.” -Eleanore Rose, mother of Denise Naslund.

(The Spokesman-Review, January 25, 1989)


“I was shocked when he confessed. I just wasn’t ready to hear it. Nancy was such a sensitive person, so kind. If she were alive today, she’d probably feel pity for Bundy for being such a sick person.” -Connie Wilcox, mother of Nancy Wilcox.

(People, February 6, 1989)


“I had anticipated a much different feeling that I had. I’d felt some of the bitterness would be relieved, but that isn’t the case. I think I’ll carry it to my grave.” -Dean Kent, father of Debbie Kent.

(Boca Raton News, December 24, 1989)


“You never really forgive someone for something like that. You just try to put it behind you. It’s not important to me now. The thing I’d like to have back, I can’t have.” -Robert Campbell, father of Caryn Campbell.

(The Harvard Crimson, January 25, 1989)


“He may have deprived the world of something exceptional. Every single person in this country may have lost something when that kid was killed. I suppose you can say that there is a 99 percent chance that it’s over. But I’m hesitant to write it off, period. There’s always that 1 percent chance.” -Edward Culver, father of Lynette Culver.

(People, February 6, 1989)

itumblthingsnow  asked:

Hi Daniel, I have two questions: 1. You're pretty open about your anxiety regarding unusual social situations. Do you have any strategies for dealing with events where you know you'll be meeting a lot of people, like conventions or meetups? 2. Is there anything people can do to minimize your discomfort when they meet you in these situations? Is there something you wish people would do or would stop doing?

Hey!

1. There’s really no completely bulletproof way to prepare for meeting a lot of people at conventions; even if you DON’T suffer from anxiety at all, it can be an exhausting and draining experience. You just do whatever you can to reduce stress in anticipation of the event. I did two panels at C2E2 which necessitated meeting a bunch of strangers after, shaking their hands, and trying to engage with them in as meaningful a way as possible in the limited amount of time we had together. In anticipation of the first panel, I took a Lyft to the event and sat in the back seat listening to musicals in my headphones. I do the same thing whenever I go to one of our live podcasts; I never drive, because I don’t want to be stressed about traffic or get frustrated by someone I think is a bad driver (literally anyone on the road who isn’t me). I put headphones in and say verbatim to every Lyft driver “Hey I’m going to be listening to a podcast back here, so if I don’t respond or anything, that’s why. Feel free to play whatever music you want, it won’t bother me.” This ensures that I won’t have to make small-talk with a stranger while on the drive to make small talk with lots of strangers. Even if the driver doesn’t believe that I’m listening to a podcast (I’m not), the message is still clear and delivered fairly inoffensively: I’m not available to chat right now, and it’s me, not you. I listen to musicals specifically because I like them and because they conjure up so many visuals in my imagination that it’s really easy to tune out the rest of the world and get lost in them, whether I’m imagining what the show looks like or imagining being one of the characters, singing and dancing like an asshole. Some people mediate, probably, but this is one of the things I choose to do. In the twenty minutes to an hour before I have to do a convention or live podcast or stand up, I’m free of responsibility and locked into a world that has nothing to do with any of those things.

For the other panel, I took a bike instead of a Lyft to the event. This is also helpful and common for me. Physical activity always makes my brain feel good and always helps me shut down my anxiety for a while. Immediately before any live event in front of people, you can probably see me jumping up and down or doing some high kicks or lunges or just generally pacing around. All of these things calm me down.

The MOST anxiety-reducing tool when it comes to these live events, though, is having my friends there. At this point I have a psychic link with my buddies, so if I’m feeling trapped in an uncomfortable conversation with a well-meaning stranger with questionable ideas on boundaries, all I need to do is make eye contact with Soren or Cody and if they’re free, they’ll come grab me and say some variation of “I’m so sorry to interrupt but I really need to take him away right now” (and I do the same for them). We don’t have a specific code word or hand signal or anything, we’ve just been doing this long enough that we can recognize an uncomfortable situation when we see one. So the short version is, if you know you’re walking into a situation that will be riddled with potentially uncomfortable moments, make sure you OD on things that make you comfortable in advance, and in my case that’s musicals, physical activity and supportive friends.


2. That’s very kind of you to ask! 99 percent of the people we meet at conventions or out in the world are very kind and polite and don’t cause tremendous amounts of anxiety. Chiefly I would just say, like, don’t just grab me? Or any of us? Whenever someone asks to take a picture with me, I will 9 out of 10 times say “I’m going to put my arm right on you now, okay?” I do this because it usually gets a slight laugh (the phrasing is intentionally awkward) and also to put it out there for anyone within earshot that it doesn’t take a lot of time or creativity to a) get consent and b) prepare someone for physical contact.

At C2E2, some giant fucking asshole wordlessly rushed Cody, wrapped an arm around him and took a picture with him and then stomped off like the dumb fucking goon sasquatch that he was. After Comikaze last year, someone grabbed my arm while walking down the street, blocks from the convention, to ask for a picture. Support is always great, and I understand excitement, but it still sucks to be suddenly grabbed. (By the way, I’m totally aware that this experience of sudden, unexpected physical contact that I and my coworkers experience once maybe every 7 months is a near constant occurrence for, like, all women everywhere in all circumstances. If you’re a person who sometimes gets excited and grabs internet comedy writers, stop doing that, but if you’re a man who sometimes gets excited and puts your hand on cute women in the street and at bars and parties and work and parks and stuff, that is a much BIGGER problem. If you’re the kind of person who grabs internet comedy writers AND women strangers out in the world, it would be great if you could stop BOTH of those things, but if you could only stop doing one, definitely make it be the “grabbing women I don’t know” one. That is a way more pressing concern.)

Regardless of all that though, if you meet me or one of us at a convention or whatever, you don’t need to focus TOO much on reducing our discomfort. You’re not walking into my home or climbing into our office; we came to this event because we wanted to perform for you, and part of that involves meeting you to thank you for reading our articles and watching our videos, because we don’t have jobs if you don’t do that. We know what we’re walking into, and we’re doing it on purpose.

The problem I have with genderfluidity

Gender is not a feeling. It’s not how you feel on a day to day basis. Gender is what you know you are in your brain. Over 99 percent of the time, a person’s brain agrees with what their body is. There is a very small group of people in the world where their brains seem to be connected with the opposite gender and the biological sex those people live as does not allow them to feel comfortable. There are many theories as to why this occurs, but the only helpful treatment at this time is allowing these people to transition and change their bodies to look more like the opposite sex so that these people can feel more confident. These people experience body dysphoria, where they feel their body should look a certain way to match how their brain works. This is not to be confused with dysmorphia, where people see their bodies as something that they are not, like how an anorexic person could be wasting away and still sees a fat person looking back at them when they look in the mirror.

Unfortunately, people believe that you don’t need body dysphoria to call yourself transgender. Contrary to what many people on this website believe, being transgender is not at all cool or fun or anything to really be proud of. Trans people suffer greatly from what they feel inside and sometimes they can’t escape the dysphoria, leading to the huge suicide rate among trans people. Bullying and harassment also contribute to it, but many people who deny the need for dysphoria also deny that dysphoria contributes to the high suicide rate, when it is more than likely the biggest factor.

Onto my actual problem with gender fluidity- genderfluid means that one’s gender fluctuates between male and female or sometimes something in between. This is a very new concept which has no real scientific backing to support its reason for existing. Genderfluid people may claim to have some form of dysphoria, but many people doubt it. Yes, everyone’s experiences are different, but what many genderfluid people experience is some sort of social or other dysphoria rather than body dysphoria. Some days, body dysphoria may feel awful to some genderfluid people, and other times not. My explanation for this would be, their gender is dependent on mood and it is very possible that an underlying mental disorder could be contributing to them thinking they are trans. It is important to treat other mental disorders before making a big decision about gender, because there have been plenty of cases where individuals experienced gender dysphoria as a side effect of another mental illness.

If that is not the case, genderfluid people may just be uncomfortable sticking to a label. That is perfectly fine in my eyes, but genderfluid should not be a final identity. If someone maybe experiences less dysphoria on certain days and identifies as cis, maybe they could be in a form of denial in the way I was when I first identified as trans. Everything felt stronger or weaker depending on my mood; however, I still knew I was a guy. My mood was always changing. During periods of great stress I didn’t have time to think about how shitty I felt and I didn’t think much about my gender dysphoria. I did not feel any less like a guy or any more like a girl. Now I’m not saying that gender is a feeling, I established that it’s not, but what I am saying is my brain always continued to work like a guy’s brain and I still put in the effort to show on the outside what I was feeling on the inside. It was just that, during these periods of time, I wasn’t concentrating on how much I hated my breasts or how bad I wanted male genitalia. That was the only thing that could change from a day-to-day basis. Stress was a sort of distraction (as in it drew my brain away from dysphoria), but my gender was never fluid as a result.

Perhaps this is what other genderfluid people expeerince, and have labeled it as genderfluid rather than just trans male or trans female.

A side from this, there is a huge problem with genderfluid people who simply use it as a label to describe how they feel like presenting that day.

New flash: it’s okay to be cisgender.

I would absolutely love to be cis. I would love to not have to work my ass off to change my body to match how my brain thinks, works, and feels. I would love to not have to put up with people who don’t understand, I would love to not be harassed, I would absolutely love to not have assumptions made about me, like that I am automatically a foolish, liberal, social justice warrior millennial who spends too much time on the internet. I would love to live a normal life. People who use things like genderfluid or any other made up gender are using my struggles as a game to play.

TL;DR: Some genderfluid people may just be confused and that’s fine, cuz they probably won’t use it as a permanent label, and some are just assholes.

The Most Difficult Thing about the Lord of the Rings fandom

….is that it has such a crazy range of politics/beliefs.

On one hand you have the staunch conservatives and fundamentalist Catholics who see Lord of the Rings as nothing more than a Christian allegory….

….and way on the other side of the spectrum you’ve got your Bleeding-Heart Liberals who argue the Shire is a socialist paradise, pipe-weed is legal marijuana, Everyone is Gay,  and/or that LOTR blurs gender roles by praising men who act stereotypically “feminine” (men who are compassionate/emotionally open, men who don’t want to fight, men who are healers and caretakers, men who cry, men who write poetry about their feelings, men who openly talk about how much they love each other, etc.)


On one hand there are actual horrible White Supremacists who pretend LOTR is an allegory for the “white race destroying inferior races…”

 …and then there are people who point out that Tolkien himself was vocally anti-racism, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest Tolkien wrote many of his characters as POC and his fandom just assumed they were white, Peter Jackson was wrong to portray all the main characters as white, and/or though we acknowledge its deep inarguable flaws the entire point of the series is that people of different races should accept each other as equals

And it’s really difficult???? Because usually when you meet another person from a fandom you can kind of guess what their politics are??? Like if you know someone’s a fan of Steven Universe, you can be 99 percent sure that person supports LGBT rights

But with LOTR 

The person could be anything

and you just have no idea

Cursed Blessing

A/N: Another prison Reid fic request! You lovelies are killing me! You keep making me hurt my baby! This one was for Spencer being given bail and going home to find out that the reader is pregnant. @coveofmemories

                                                             —-

A blessing or a curse?

He didn’t know. 

All he knew was that he’d asked you not to come to the arraignment because he was 99 percent he was going to be remanded without bail. You’d put up a fight, but he’d begged you not to come, so for once, you had relented. But against all odds, he’d been given bail. And you didn’t know yet. What would it be like? Coming home to you only to possibly be ripped away. He wasn’t sure either of you would survive it. 

As he unlocked the door to his apartment, feeling like he was walking into another’s life, he looked down, afraid to see the look on your face when he walked in the door. 

Inside, you turned when you heard a key in the lock. Who else had a key? Your breath nearly stalled in your throat when you saw his face. “You got bail!” you screamed, running into him and wrapping your arms around his weakened and tired body. Pulling back, you grabbed his face in your hands and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “God, I love you. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t-”

“Stop.” You brought your finger up to his lips. “You were just trying to help your mother. None of this is your fault.” He glanced around the apartment, unsure of where to move.

Even in the couple of weeks he’d been in the system, he’d had guards tell him when to sleep, what to eat, where to stand. He felt as if his feet were cemented to the floor. What was he supposed to do now? A small smile formed at the corners of his mouth when you squeeze his hand. “Come sit with me,” you said softly. 

For a few hours, you just sat on the couch in each other’s arms, saying very little with the occasional question about the situation you found yourselves in. It had been so long since you’d just held each other that it was difficult to get up from where you sat. “We should get take out or something,” you said, looking up at him. All he’d been eating for weeks was crappy jail food. 

After much deliberation, you’d settled on thai food. “Can you make the call?” he asked. He normally did, but it was going to take him a while to get used to not being in jail again. He sat by your side as you made the call, but then you excused yourself to use the restroom.

Upon your return, Spencer turned around to you with tears in his eyes. When you looked down, you noticed what he was holding - your prenatal vitamins. “I was gonna tell you over dinner,” you said quickly. “I just didn’t want to overwhelm you, and I wasn’t sure how you were going to feel about a baby considering everything, and I…”

He rushed up into you and carefully lifted you off the floor. “Oh my god.” The tears that had been building up in his eyes overflowed. “Hi.” He placed his hands on your stomach and leaned his head into your chest. It was the first modicum of joy you’d seen in his eyes in weeks. “How far along?”

“Ten weeks,” you said, placing your hands over his. It was like time was standing still. You were having a baby together. But…but what would happen if he got convicted? He’d never see his baby. Suddenly, that momentary joy was ripped from him - his mind raging with all of the horrible possibilities. You lifted your finger under his chin so he would look up at you. “We’ll take this as it comes.”

His mouth opened to form a rebuttal, but you stopped him. “We’re gonna get through this.”

“But what if I’m convicted? You’re gonna have to raise this baby as a single mother. I’m never gonna see my baby.” He looked down at your stomach again, his face now filled with fear. “This is what we’ve always wanted. Why…” He was about to finish his sentence, when you finished it for him.

“Why now?” 

He nodded. 

“Look,” you started, wrapping your arms around his neck and speaking into his chest. “This is not the right timing. But there’s a baby in there.” A sob choked out of him and he smiled despite himself. “In a little over six months there’s gonna be a little you or me running around. I pray that you’ll be here, but I swear no matter what happens, this baby will know their father. I promise you that.”

He hesitated. That’s what he was afraid of. “I don’t want my baby to have to see me through bars,” he said, closing his eyes as you wiped away a tear with the pad of your thumb. “What will this baby think of me?”

“They will think that they’re father was framed, which you were,” you said confidently. “Everyone says that their partner didn’t do anything wrong, and that they shouldn’t be in jail, but I can actually mean it.” Spencer wanted to believe you - he wanted to think that this would all go away and you could be a happy family, but he had always been one to think of every possible option, good or bad. He was so scared. If anyone asked him, he’d take talking down an unsub with a gun pointed at his head any day. This gnawing uncertainty - this could kill him much more swiftly than a man with a gun. 

Spencer pulled you into him and swallowed his concerns. “I’m scared,” he said into your hair.

“I know,” you replied. “I am too. But until trial, you’re home.” It was then that you heard a knock at the door. Quickly, you reached for the cash and paid the delivery man. “For now, let’s eat. Cuddle. Talk. Maybe you can even read to the baby.”

“You know the baby can’t hear me yet, right?”

You brought your finger up to your lips and shushed him. “We’re swimming in a sea of negatives right now. Here’s a positive.” Pointing to your stomach, you grabbed his hand and placed it on you. “Let’s focus on here…for as long as we can.”

anonymous asked:

You know that your "accepts all sexualities" box includes ASEXUALITY, which you appear to be extremely against, right? Or are you really that big of an immature asshole to still be on this site, where 99 percent of the users despise you for existing? You're beyond redemption. Go cry to your precious Trump. Maybe someone as monstrous and hated as you will listen.

I should frame this and hang it on my wall.

panicromancegirl  asked:

(I meant to ask this originally) how do you draw with nail polish on!? Like erase. I always, always smudge my paper. I see you wearing it in quite a bit of videos so I thought id ask, if you just don't notice it or you had a problem too.

99.9 percent of the time I chip my nails so its not like I have a lot of polish on them to begin with,

plus when I erase I use more of my knuckle than my fingers, and I use a big eraser, I never really erase precise stuff so this issue has never come up for me

I Call It Love     Pt.11 (Final Part)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Gang AU

Jimin x Reader 

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I Part 5 I Part 6 I Part 7 I Part 8 I Part 9 I Part 10

Words: 3.508

Summary: You had just came to Seoul for university. But things didn’t turn out the way you had hoped and so you end up staying with your childhood bestfriend Jungkook. Something’s off though, Jungkook is keeping things from you.

“I always hated Hani anyway” you heard Jooheon spit out after having swallowed down his tears.

Your eyes widened in shok as you realized that it must be her that had died. That reality hit you hard and you didn’t even remember to close your eyes before Minhyuk had seen that you woke up.

“Shot in the head” Minhyuk said while staring into your eyes. You held his gaze and tried to keep all emotions back.

“Then can I leave now?” you asked eventhough you were 99 percent sure the answer would be no. Still you stood up and started walking towards the door. To your surprise none of them said anything until you were about to open the door.

Suddely you felt the cold material of a gun at your head. “You still think this is a fucking joke?” Kihyun whispered into your ear, scaring you so much that you forgot to breath for a second.

You gulped and then shook your head.

“Good. Because this bullet will be faster in your head then you can even take a single step”

You didn’t move an inch after that. “I heard there was a contract. Didn’t it say I can leave?” the fear you were feeling was more obvious in your voice than you had wanted it to be.

“The contract is off. Now go sit down on the couch again.”

Without another word you went back. Just feeling relief as soon as the gun didn’t touch your head anymore.

After five minutes the fear was gone again and your confidence was back. You turned to Minhyuk who was standing closest to you and asked “Why is the contract off?”

Minhyuk turned towards you, considering wether or not to even give you an answer. In the end he told you “Bts didn’t sign it. Guess you are not that important to them” he gave you a sick smile. You didn’t answer anything to that simply because there was nothing you could answer.

A knock on the door had everyone looking up. Kihyun and Changkyun were directly pointing their guns to the door and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Who’s there?” Shownu asked the person behind the door.

“Suga”

“The door’s open” and with that, you could see Yoongi walking through the door having the two guns pointed directly at him. However he didn’t look too bothered and just walked towards you without a word.

“Let’s go” he told you and put an arm around you. Gulping you looked at the two guns that were since Yoongi stood right next to you also pointed in your direction.

“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” Wonho raised an eyebrow before you could say something.

Yoongi had a smile on that scared you even though you knew he was going to help you. But he didn’t answer Wonho and instead started dragging you towards the door.

“Quit the games Yoongi” Shownu told him now. This time Yoongi took out a paper and slammed it on the table next to him.

Then he started walking again and dragged you through the door. The whole time you were just hoping not to feel a bullet go through your head and you were actually kinda surprised when the cold air from outside hit you.

“We’re… they… they let us leave… they let us leave just like that” you just couldn’t believe it. It was only now you realized just how horrified you had been the whole time.

Yoongi just gave you a look. “There were some changes we had to do in the contract so it took a little longer.”

As the two of you turned the corner, you suddenly felt two strong arms attack you. Well attack you with a hug. You directly recognized the person as Jimin and quickly hugged him back.

“I’m so sorry” Jimin mumbled right before pressing a kiss on your mouth. “I love you so much! How can you scare me so much?”

Instead of answering you just kissed him again. With his arms around you you finally felt completely safe again.

After a while you heard someone shuffle in front of you and you reluctantly pulled away from Jimin.

In front of you, you saw Jungkook looking a bit awkward. Quickly you ran to him and hugged him too. When you pulled away from him he told you “Don’t scare me like that ever again, ok? I thought I would have to explain all of this to your mother” You chuckled and lightly hit him.

“Let’s leave this place now” Yoongi said and you for the first time you could see a toothy smile on Yoongi. At his words Jimin took your hand and lead you to a van.

The four of you drove back to their house and you walked in. Jin and Taehyung were sitting in the living roomand very happily greeted you.

“Is Hoseok still in his room?” Jimin asked worried and Taehyung shook his head “He eventually drove to the exid house.” Jungkook looked down and Jimin just lead you to his room without reacting at all.

“Are you tired?” he asked you and you just shook your head. Jimin looked deep in your eyes to find out if you were being honest, which just for the record you were not because you could not help but feel like you might miss something if you went to bed now. Eventually Jimin sighed, realizing that he couldn’t tell if you lie anyway.

“So do you want to watch tv or…?” Jimin asked.

“Not really..” you sighed. “To be honest I think I would like to just go to my apartment”

Jimin looked a bit surprised but nodded anyway. “Then let’s go” and with that the two of you left the room again and walked towards Jimin’s car. As you passed Taehyung he threw you a questioningly look and Jimin shortly told him where you were going.

Eventhough the drive wasn’t too long, you suddenly felt it make you very sleepy and you had to fight against your eyes closing more and more as the houses passed you by.

“Not tired, huh?” you heard Jimin ask you amused all of a sudden and you shook your head. Jimin let out a slight laugh “Yeah, you’re too awake to even notice we arrived, right?” It was only now that you actually started focusing on the outside of the car and realized that nothing was any longer moving and you were instead looking at your apartment.

Turning to Jimin you offered him a sheepish smile and he just let out a laugh.

The two of you got out of the car and went into the house. Jimin sat down in front of the tv and after changing into more comfortable clothes you lay down with your head in his lap. Coontrary to Jimin you didn’t know the anime that was running on tv, so it was difficult for you to actually follow the plot line.

Suddenly you heard a loud bang from behind you and spun around. You recognized the person that just walked in as Minhyuk. With wide eyes you were just staring at him. He was wearing that same smile that always made you feel sick to your stomach. From behind you, you heard Jimin telling him to leave again but Minhyuk didn’t seem to care about that. Instead he walked closer to you and quickly you could feel the cold metal of the gun he pulled out only moments before against your head. A tear started forming in the corner of your eye.

“Please don’t” you pleaded “Please don’t”

But Minhyuk’s smile simply grew bigger until you finally heard the gun go off. The sound made you scream but the expected pain did not set in. Instead you just heard someone behind you slam to the ground. Horrified you turned around, only to look at your boyfriends bleeding figure. Falling down next to him you directly felt your clothes getting soaked from his blood. “No” you wanted to whisper out, wanted to scream out, but you couldn’t. Instead all you could do was cry. Cry so much that you were not sure if your clothes were wetter because of Jimin’s blood or your tears.

“Y/N” you suddenly heard Jimin’s voice. But that was impossible. He was dead, right?

“Y/n, please wake up” the worry in his voice was unmistakable. Quickly you opened your eyes and there he was hovering above you with his eyes showing a slight relief after seeing you had woken up.

“What were you dreaming about?” Jimin asked you worried while brushing his hand over your hair lightly.

“Nothing” you mumbled while gulping at the thought of your dream. Jimin looked at you, obviously knowing that that was a lie.

“You were screaming” he stated after a few moments of silence.

“Really? I don’t remember” you continued your lie and to change the topic you added “But I’m quite tired so let’s go to bed, yeah?” Jimin nodded still in thought and followed you to the bedroom.

After a few minutes you could hear Jimin’s breathing become regular and knew that he had fallen asleep. The adrenaline rush of your nightmare was still there, so for hours you just lay there. Staring at the ceiling.

As you were just lying there, not being able to fall asleep your thoughts started wandering.

Your first day of university was only 8 days away now and you hadn’t prepared anything yet. You should definetely start studying tomorrow. You should definetely start living in your reality anymore. And your reality was not gunshots and drugs. Your reality were studying and living a student life. Now that you thought about it your mom would probably kill you for how useless the past weeks had been for your future.

Next to you Jimin suddenly moved in his sleep and laid his arm over your stomach.

So you knew what was your reality, right? But you also knew that that wasn’t Jimin’s. You needed to talk about this with him but there was no possible solution. You just couldn’t think of a single way of how your and Jimin’s lifes could mix. But then somehow you also couldn’t think of a way to live your life without him.

This problem did not leave you until you eventually fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up with sweat all over your forehead. The nightmare had haunted you again and again through the night and you felt just as tired as you had when you fell asleep.

Jimin next to you had already stood up earlier and you expected to see him in the kitchen as you walked to get some water but he wasn’t there. Quickly you checked your phone and found that he sent you a message:

“Good morning, babe. Sorry I had to leave something came up. I’ll be back soon”  you gulped hoping that it wasn’t too dangerous.

On the other hand you now had time to start preparing things for university and contact your family. It wasn’t the most exiting day but at least everything kept you busy enough to not think about where Jimin was. Or how it was 6 o’clock already and he still hadn’t come back.

At half past seven you finally heard someone ring the doorbell.

“Who’s there?” you asked hopefully and heard Jimin’s voice on the other side. Quickly you opened the door and saw Jimin right in front of you. Next to him were Jungkook and Yoongi. You gave all of them a smile and them in. Jimin gave you a peck on the lips and walked in with the others following him.

“What have you been doing today?” Jimin asked when all of you had sat down.

“Just preparing for university and you?” it sounded just as boring as it had been you thought to yourself.

“Some business stuff..” Somehow it annoyed you that he didn’t go into further detail but then all of his ‘business’ stuff was probably still too intense for you.

“Actually we wanted to ask if you want to come partying with us today” Jungkook told you excitedly and you looked at him surprised.

“I would love to but I’m kinda too tired” “It’s ok then, just go to sleep” Jimin told you with a smile.

“Can I change your mind by telling you that Pinky will be at the party?” Jungkook mocked you and let out a laugh. Your boyfriend shot him an angry look and you put your hand on his thigh to calm him down.

“She’s really nice, right? So it will already be fun when she’s there. No need for me to come” you answered lightly, eventhough the jealousy inside of you was about to surface again.

“It would be more fun with you, though” Jimin sweetly added and you gave him a smile. You really had the cutest boyfriend in the world.

Shortly after that the three boys told you goodbye again and left. Overall they had only been there for half an hour. All day you waited for your boyfriend and now he left after half an hour. But it wasn’t like you didn’t understand why, just that you still missed him so much again already.

Since you hadn’t had too much sleep the last night, you went to bed early. This night you were woken up by nightmares of shootings and people dying four times but you still decided to get up eventually in the morning. Around 3 o’clock Jimin came home with pizza and stayed for a few hours. However he couldn’t stay for too long again.

The next days flew by just like that. You were mostly on your own in the big city. Sometimes Jimin or Jungkook would come over and one time even Jeonghwa visited you. But none could ever stay long and so your days were pretty boring. But the days were still better than the nights. Somehow you just could not sleep without having nightmares anymore and it was keeping you from sleeping at all.

Then the day finally came. Your first day at university. The older students led you around and then you went to your first subject. About 50 people were sitting in the room and you quickly sat downon a random seat before the professor would come in.

“Hey, I’m Saeron” a girly voice suddenly said next to you, making you turn towards her. “I’m y/n. Nice to meet you” you smiled back at her. Directly she started smal-talking to you to get to know each other. Apparently, she was from miadong so she also didn’t know a lot of people that lift directly in Seoul. She seemed really friendly and you were relieved to have found a friend already.

While the professor was preparing to start talking, she suddenly furrowed her brows, focusing on something on the side of you. “What’s wrong?” you asked confused.

She giggled a bit and leaned forward “Ok, don’t turn around right now. But that cute guy on the right is totally staring at you.” you let out a small laugh and turned around anyway.

Your smile directly froze. It had only taken you half a second to find the guy she was talking about and recognize him. Quickly you turned back not being able to hold his gaze.

“Do you know him?” Saeron asked you confused about your reaction.

“No!” you answered way too quickly.

“Is he like your ex or something?” “No, I told you I don’t know him. Just spoke to him at a party once” you tried to make up a believable lie.

“Ah ok.. do you know his name?” “Why do you want to know his name?” “I don’t know. He is really handsome” she winked at you and you reluctantly told her “Changkyun.. I think his name was Changkyun.”

“No way!” Jimin shouted when you told him who was in your mathematics course. “Why would he be there?”

“He said he always wanted to study this, so he enrolled half a year ago”

“You talked to him?” Jimin did not sound too happy.

“I just wanted to know why he was there. It was kinda creeping me out.”

“That’s because it should creep you out! He is dangerous!”

“I know! That’s why I confronted him! He will be there for the next year, so I couldn’t just let him stare at me. I had to deal with that. This is my reality and I need to be able to live in it!” you shouted back at him and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Your reality? What do you mean your reality? The danger coming from him is the reality  too.”

“No, the danger is your reality! I’m just a normal student!” the words left your lips before you could hold them back.

“So we don’t have the same reality? Is that what you’re saying? That I don’t fit in your reality either?” Jimin was getting angrier with every word and when you didn’t answer him he stormed out. You heard your front door slam shut and waited for the tears to fall. But they didn’t. You were like paralyzed.

Keep reading

“My father and I used to tussle about me becoming an actor. He’s from strong, Presbyterian Scottish working-class stock, and he used to sit me down and say, ‘You know, 99 percent of actors are out of work. You’ve been educated, so why do you want to spend your life pretending to be someone else when you could be your own man?”

Tom Hiddleston