you are so hot i am angry

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

anonymous asked:

first time i realized my 1st grade friend was full of shit and a bitch: she was tellin everyone a story abt how she and her grandma cooked "the worlds biggest cookie" that took up a whole block of the neighborhood (p sure this is the plot of a hey arnold! episode) & i was following til she said they "used the sun to cook it but the moon melted it again." little me knew that was BS just cuz the sun is hot don't make the moon cold, & coldness doesn't UNCOOK food. tch. called her on it n she cried

I swear to god this is THE best ask so far. How angry you were at the beginning and throughout . The fact that her incredibly blatant lie was just taken from hey arnold. “The sun cooked it and then the moon melted it again” i swear to you anon this is art and i am crying

anonymous asked:

I know you probably have a lot of requests with the gods and monsters - but would you ever do an Ares based one?

Zeus’s mistress Io remains in her form of a cow, guarded by Hera’s servant Argus, and Hera is content.

She will remain in that form until her death. Hera hopes that lying with her husband was worth the sacrifice.

Zeus won’t speak to her, unwilling to admit the cow is actually his lover and ensure her death, and equally unwilling to stand against his wife to try and rescue her. Hera has him just where she wants him, and it can’t last, it never does, but she intends to enjoy it while it does.  

Then Artemis comes to her, gold and fierce. She never flinches away from her queen, staring her in the face as if she is nothing more than another of her huntresses. If Hera did not hate her for being her husband’s daughter, she thinks she might actually like the girl. “Io has a destiny,” she says, “you must let her go.”

“I don’t care for her destiny,” Hera says idly, “especially when that destiny involves getting with my husband’s child.”

“She is to give birth to a new line of kings,” Artemis hisses, “to be the wife of a death god, to be mother goddess of a whole new people. She is not meant for us. You must let her go.”

“I am Hera,” she says, “I am Queen. I must do nothing.”

Artemis growls, hand twitching for her bow, but Hera only raises an eyebrow. Let the girl try. There are few that can stand against her, and the huntress is not among them. Artemis lets out a low breath and says, “Do it, my queen, and I will grant you what it is you most desire.”

“Some peace and quiet?” Hera asks.

“A child,” she answers. “Let Io go, let her fulfill her destiny as a goddess of the Black Land of the Nile. If you do that, I, the patron goddess of childbirth, will personally use every ounce of power I possess to ensure you conceive and deliver a child of Zeus.”

Hera’s eyes narrow, “Neither my power nor his has ever been able to achieve this. What makes you think you are any different?”

“We all have our domains,” she says, “just as you cannot command the sea, just as your husband has no power over the art of weaving, so can I ensure a healthy child when you could not.”

She taps her fingers against her throne. They call her a mother goddess, though she’s raised no children. Hephaestus may be her precious son, but he doesn’t know that it was not her that threw him from Olympus. Very few people know that. And she didn’t raise him regardless, that honor belongs to Hecate.

A child, of her and Zeus. A child she can raise.

“I accept,” she announces. “You may take her, and Zeus may fulfill her destiny.” She leans forward, brings the oppressive weight of her power to the fore and lowers the pressure of the air until Artemis is left shivering. “Know this, Patron Goddess of Childbirth. If Io births a son of Zeus before I do, I will travel to the Black Land of the Nile and slay her and her children with my own two hands. Not even Hades will be able to put her back together again.”

“Yes, my Queen,” Artemis says, unable to keep her teeth from chattering.

~

Hera is true to her word. She allows Hermes to think he’s tricked Argus and to steal Io away. She pretends to be outraged at the audacity, at the pure white cow traveling to the sands of the Nile.

Artemis is true to her word. Hera lies with Zeus, like she has so many times before, and a child grows inside of her. One day she stands before her husband and brings his hand to the swell of her stomach, “This is your child.”

Something almost like happiness steals across his face. She forgets, sometimes, that they hate each other only as much as they love each other. After so much time together, many would think it would be one or the other. They simply opted for both.

Artemis is there during the birth, her easy confidence more comforting then Hera will ever admit. Delivering Hephaestus was easy compared to this. She screams and cries and Hestia’s hands on her shoulders are all that keeps her from collapsing and begging someone to just cut the child from her. She doesn’t think she can die in childbirth, not with Artemis between her legs. She wishes she’d thought to ask before this began.

But she does not die. Her son is born, just as healthy and beautiful as Hephaestus was. “Well done,” Artemis says softly, placing the squirming child into her arms.

Zeus touches her hair and kisses his son’s forehead. “We shall call him Ares.”

“Very well,” she agrees, so tired her eyes struggle to stay open.

She hands her son to Hestia, and finally allows sleep to take her.

~

Ares grows into the spitting image of his father. Same copper-red skin, same silky black hair. Her husband keeps it short, but her son lets his grow long. The minutes Hera spends every morning brushing his hair are among her favorite.

He has an eager smile and a soft heart. Hera doesn’t know where he got it, since it’s certainly not from her or Zeus. Demeter tolerates his bumbling after her, though any time Kore attempts to meet her cousin Demeter’s temper frays. Poseidon allows Ares to explore the depths of the sea with a minor sea god acting as his guide. Apollo plays for him, and Artemis teaches him to hunt. Zeus’s lightning doesn’t burn his son, and when storms rage he takes Ares to the top of Olympus and teaches him to throw lightning bolts.

Hera selfishly does not allow Ares to go to the underworld. She knows he would be safe there, that Hades would protect him as he protected Hephaestus, but that’s precisely why she won’t allow it. They got to raise one of her sons already. It pains her to share Ares with them now.

He is happy, and kind, kinder than anyone would expect a child of her womb to be.

“He must choose a domain,” Zeus rumbles, watching Ares shoot arrows with perfect accuracy.

“He is a child still,” Hera says, “let him remain so for a little longer.”

“If he does not choose a domain,” Zeus warns, “one will choose him. We are gods. We must be gods of something.”

She flickers her gaze at him, and he scoots an inch away from her. “He is a child, and for now a child he will remain. We are not Demeter. We shall not thrust the responsibilities and power of a deity on a child who is not prepared for it.”

Zeus disapproves, but says nothing more.

Her son will be the god of something patient, something soft. The god of lost children, of heartbroken suitors, of forgiveness. Something where his gentle heart will aid him instead of hurt him.

She traded her happiness for power. She doesn’t regret it. But Ares doesn’t need to do the same – she’s the most powerful goddess that still walks the earth. He’s her son, and he’ll want for nothing she can provide.

~

Ares is almost fully grown, long hair reaching his hips even braided, and the strength of his limbs is such that he can keep up with Artemis on her most vigorous of hunts, that he can throw his father’s lightning bolts halfway across the world.

He’s been to every place, and met every god of the earth, sea, and sky.

Except for one.

 It’s not hard to find the volcano. He’s strong enough and old enough to take care of himself, and his mother does not worry when he says he’s going to the earth. But he did not tell her where, precisely, on the earth he was going.

He has strong legs.  It’s easy for him to climb to the top of the volcano. He’s almost made it there when something grabs his shoulders, stilling him. He turns, and stares into a single large eye. “What are you doing?” the cyclopes growls.

“I’m looking for Hephaestus,” he says, “He’s my brother.”

“My master has many brothers,” the cyclopes says.

Ares shakes his head. He is not the product of his father’s fling with a sprite or mortal. “I am Ares, son of Zeus and Hera. Just as Hephaestus is. I came here to meet my brother.” The cyclopes hesitates. He asks, “What’s your name?”

“Brontes,” he answers, surprised.

“Brontes,” he smiles, “I just want to meet him. I’ve never met him before. I won’t linger.”

There’s a moment where Brontes looks conflicted, and Ares tries to look as unassuming as possible. “Fine,” he huffs, “but don’t get angry at me if he dips you in lava.”

“That would be fun,” he says brightly. Lightning doesn’t burn him. So far the only thing hot enough to cause him pain is Hestia’s fire. He probably could go swimming in lava.

Brontes looks at him as if he’s slightly unhinged. He just keeps smiling.

~

There are more cyclopes underneath, and bright glittering machines that Ares can’t even begin to wrap his mind around. “Who are you?” someone demands, and a hand grabs his wrist and yanks him away from a boiling vat of lava that he’d been peering into.

He looks up at a man taller and broader than he is. He has skin almost as dark as the obsidian of his volcano, but lighter eyes. They are the color of dark amber, of molasses. “We have the same eyes,” he says happily.

Hephaestus releases him instantly. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why not?” he asks, “The mortals talk of you. No one else will. But you’re my brother, right?”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he repeats, “Does Zeus know where you are?”

He shrugs, taking a step closer. His brother takes a step back. He wonders if he’ll have to treat Hephaestus like a spooked horse.  “Father doesn’t keep track of where I am. Mom know I’m on earth.” Hephaestus flinches, small enough that he almost doesn’t notice. “We have her eyes, you know.”

He can’t stop starring at Hephaestus’s skin. They do not work like mortals – Demeter, Hestia, Zeus, and Hera are all different shades despite coming from the same parents. But – Ares looks so much like his father. Kore looks like Demeter. Yet Hephaestus looks nothing like their father. He can see their mother in him, in the eyes and shape of his jaw, even in how angry he is right now. He looks like Hera does when she’s about to lose her temper, lips pressed into a thin line and the careful stillness of his shoulders.

“I wasn’t trying to make you angry,” he says plaintively, “I only wanted to say hello.”

Unlike their mother, Hephaestus lets out a deep breath and seemingly all of his anger along with it. “I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Why? You don’t even know me.”

Hephaestus kicks him lightly in the shin, the pretty gold and copper of his metal legs catching his eye. “You have legs, and I do not. Hera did not throw you from Mount Olympus as she threw me.”

Ares looks hard at his brother’s face. The stories say his mother threw her son away for being ugly, but he seems just as handsome as any other god Ares has seen. His features are strong and chiseled, and he supposes that could have looked unattractive on a baby, but –

– his mother loves him. Hera loves him with a ferocity only matched by her temper, she loves him at his most mischievous and irritable, loves him when a stray thunderbolt sets Demeter’s hair on end, loves him when even Artemis and Apollo have grown tired of his antics, loves him when Athena can tolerate no more of his questions. He is her son, and so her love comes without conditions.

He doesn’t think Hera would have loved his brother any less just because of how he looked.

He also knows that if he tries to say that, it’s likely Hephaestus will push him into a lava pit.

“Well, that’s not my fault,” he says, “If you don’t want us to be brothers, can’t we at least be friends?”

Hephaestus’s face softens. He looks like their mother then too.  He crosses his arms, “You can’t tell your parents.”

Our parents, he thinks but doesn’t say. “Obviously. Where did you get so many cyclopes?”

The last remnants of his brother’s stern façade shatters as he throws back his head and laughs.

~

Ares is very near maturity, more adult than child, and his father constantly pressures him to choose a domain. He usually quiets with one sharp glance from his wife, but the fact remains that it is time for Ares to take his place among the gods of the pantheon, to have temples in his name and worshipers like a proper deity.

He doesn’t really want any of that.  He wants to continue hunting with Artemis, learning with Athena, building with Hephaestus.

His brother lets him help out in his workshop sometimes, if he’s very careful and does exactly as he’s told. Otherwise he sits on a table, legs swinging, and watches his brother work and tells him about what he does in the time in-between visits. He talks about their mother enough that Hephaestus doesn’t flinch at her every mention, which Ares can only consider an improvement. Sometimes Brontes will stand beside him and they’ll eat sweet buns together.

Unfortunately, all things, good and bad, must come to an end.

~

There are two giants, Otus and Ephialtes, who grow tired of hearing of the golden boy of Olympus, who grow jealous of his kindness and his beauty.

These two giants sneak onto Mount Olympus in the middle of the night, sneak into Ares’s room, and kidnap him. They’re not stupid enough to attempt to kill him. Instead, they stuff him into an urn, and seal him inside. Ares rages and fights, uses every trick he can think of to break out his prison, but none of them work.

Stuck at the bottom of the urn and seething, he can’t help but think that if he’d listened to his father and chosen a dominion he might be strong enough to free himself. But he didn’t, so he can’t, and instead he waits.

And waits.

And waits.

Days turn to weeks turn to months. He knows they’re looking for him. He knows his mother will tear apart the whole universe attempting to find him if nothing else. But – what if they can’t? What if he’s stuck in this urn for the rest of eternity?

In his darkest moments, his sorrow turns to rage. He is a god, son of Hera and Zeus, how dare they do this to him?

Then, one day, the urn opens.

Hermes peers down into it, then his face splits into a grin. “We’ve been looking for you!” He reaches down and hauls Ares out, and for a moment all he can do is blink at the glaring sun. Then his vision clears, and he sees they’re in the midst of a battle. The giants are fighting against the gods, against his parents, against the twins, against his brother. It’s bloody carnage, but – he can’t help but feel touched that all these people came looking for him. “Almost everyone offered to help find you,” he says, “but Hera didn’t want to draw too much attention to ourselves trying to sneak into their territory.”

No sooner has Hermes finished speaking than a giant barrels into his mother with sickening snap. Her shoulder slopes at a grotesque angle, but it hardly even slows her down.

“I have to help,” he says, a desperate urgency filling him. They came to help him, and now they’re getting hurt. That’s never something he’d wanted.

“Ares, wait!” Hermes calls out as he goes hurtling toward the battle. He doesn’t wait. Fighting on the ground can only do so much good, they’re strong but they’re outnumbered one hundred to one. He darts to Artemis, twisting around the bodies she’s throwing over her shoulder. “I need your bow!”

“Ares!” she says joyously, then, “What?”

“Trust me,” he says, “give me your bow.” A giant comes running towards them. Artemis flips him over her shoulder while continuing to stare at him in confusion. He’d be impressed if he wasn’t so worried. “Artemis, please!”

She hands over her bow. She moves to give him her quiver of arrows as well, but he’s already moving away from her. Next it’s to his father, who’s hurtling lightning bolts towards the swarm of giants crowding him. They’re deadly, but only so effective at close-range. He grabs a sizzling lightning bolt right from Zeus’s hand, the only being on the planet who could do that and survive, and keeps running. “Get clear!” he calls out over his shoulder. “Everyone move!”

He runs up past Hermes, needing to get to high ground for this to work. “Get everyone off the battlefield,” he says to Hermes. “Now.”

Hermes pulls a face, but by the time he makes it to the top of the mountain, the gods have shaken off most of the giants, are far enough away that he doesn’t have to worry.

He can do this. He’s Ares, the son of Hera and Zeus. He’s been trained in archery by the great huntress herself. He breaths in, and strings his father’s lightning bolt like an arrow. He pulls it back, breaths out, and lets the lightning bolt fly.

It lands in the middle of the battlefield full of confused giants. With a great clap of thunder and a burst of light, they’re all gone.

All that remains of the traitorous giants is a crater.

The gods are approaching him, his mother at a limping gait that makes his chest ache. Zeus gets to him first, grin stretched wide as he grabs him by both his shoulders. “My boy! That was magnificent!”

“Thanks,” he says. The smell of charred flesh is in the air, and it makes his stomach roll.

They kidnapped him. They stuffed him in an urn for over a year. They hurt his mom.

That doesn’t mean he enjoyed it. He never wants to do anything like that ever again.

“This was destiny,” his father says enthusiastically, and Ares has no idea what he’s talking about. “This is what you’re meant to do, son.”

He stares. He hopes it’s not.

The other gods are still at the bottom of the mountain. Artemis and Apollo each have one of his mother’s arms slung over their shoulders and are helping her up the mountain. Hermes and Hephaestus aren’t far behind.

He’s never seen his father look so proud of him. There’s a leaden pit in his stomach he can’t explain.

“In honor of my son’s great feat,” Zeus booms, his voice carrying across air, speaking with the voice of the king of the gods so his words become law, so they spread to every corner of the world, “I declare him Ares, God of War.”

Ares can’t breathe.

This isn’t what he wanted.


gods and monsters series, part xvii

read more of the gods and monsters series here

EXO Reaction to Their Significant Other Cursing in Their Native Language

Xiumin: “Wow baby, that was a mouthful. Would you mind giving me a translation so I know just how upset you are?”

Originally posted by kpoop69

Suho: “I have no idea what you just said, but you sounded upset, my love. Do you need me to kiss or kill today?”

Originally posted by irpsychotic

Lay: “Y/N, what was that? A different language? Well, I guess it’s better off this way, after all we are around children.”

Originally posted by squynhty

Baekhyun: “What’d you say baby? How am I supposed to know if you’re secretly roasting me when you’re speaking in a foreign language?”

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

Chen: “Are you cursing? In a different language?! How dare you Y/N! You know how much I like to make you feel better, so how am I supposed to do that when I don’t know what you’re saying?”

Originally posted by royaldyo

Chanyeol: “Wow, so cool! I’m sorry babe, I know you’re mad that you stubbed your toe but can you say it again? It sounded really awesome when you said it like that.”

Originally posted by kaisanity

D.O: “Honey? I didn’t recognize that, however, since you look angry I’ll assume that you cursed. Do you need me to do anything to make you feel better?”

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

Kai: “Y/N? Was that a native curse? Babe, honestly, even though you’re upset, it was pretty hot hearing you curse like that. OW! Ow! Don’t hit me, I’m sorry. I was just messing with you! I love you.”

Originally posted by daenso

Sehun: "Yah, babe, you did it again. You slipped into your native language. What happened? Did you step on another Lego?”

Originally posted by sehunicorne

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

Jealous Fights (Jughead X Reader)

Summary- You get jealous that Jughead is hanging out with Betty so much, so you try to make him jealous too. 

Warnings- fighting, jealousy, kissing, crying.

requested- yes! @dixiehasalotoffreetime (thanks bes frand ily)

A/N- my first writing got 7 notes! (thats not a lot but still) thank you!  Also, I will be doing a second part to this! (probs won’t be as exciting but whatever) So stay tuned for that!




“So Jug, you up for studying tomorrow?” Betty asks Jughead.

You and your friends were all sitting at a booth at Pop’s, as usual.

“Uh, sure!” Jughead replies and smiles.

You quickly look both of them over. Jughead was your boyfriend and he seemed to be spending a lot of time with Betty lately. It was really getting on your nerves. 

“Whatcha gonna study?” You ask, scooting a bit closer to Jughead. 

Betty glances at Jug and replies, “For the science test, you know how hard Mrs.Hank’s tests are.” 

You nod and take a sip of your milk shake. 

You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were a little jealous.

Then you got an idea. Why not make Jughead jealous too?

You turned to look at Archie, sitting on the other side of table. 

“Arch, do you to study with me? My place?” You ask the ginger haired boy. 

He quickly glances over at Jughead who looks a bit suspicious. 

“Uh, ok.” He replies.

You could see Jughead staring at you with hawk eyes, he was jealous already!

“Alright Archie, should we go?” You ask him leaning into the table.

“Sure.” He smiles and you both get up.

“Bye guys!” You both say in unison, before you lean down to kiss jughead.

Not just a peck, but a real kiss. You wanted him to see what he was missing out on.

You deepened your kiss and held his chin with your hand before breaking off. You wanted to be a tease.

You hear ooo sounds from Veronica and Kevin as you get back up from leaning over, still locking eyes with Jughead.

Jughead still looked flustered as you and Archie exited Pop’s. 

“What was that for?” Archie asks, referring to the kiss.

You turn to him and say, “Juggie has been spending a lot of time with Betty lately. And I don’t want to admit it but I’m kinda jealous.” 

“Ya, but they’re just friends.” Archie points out.

“I know but- I just want to make him jealous too. That’s why I asked you to study with me at my house.” You tell him as you near your home. 

Archie nods and you both enter the house.



The next day, you Kevin and Veronica walked to school together.

I didn’t take long for Kevin to bring up that kiss.

“Ok, but can we just talk about that kiss?” He exclaims. 

You giggle as he goes on.

“I mean that was hot. Like wow.” He says. 

“Thanks,” You laugh.

“But like why? You hardly ever kiss Jug like that in public, is there something happening that I don know about?” Veronica asked as she pulled her phone out of her pocket to check her hair on the camera.

“I don’t know. Jughead has been hanging out with Betty a lot lately. And I know that they are only friends… But I’m kinda jealous. I guess I just wanted him to see what he was missing out on.” You explain as you all enter the school.

“Oh! Well I can help you make him jealous if you want.” Veronica offers, winking. 

You laugh and open your locker. 

Then you see Betty and Jughead walking side by side down the halls, laughing. 

A fire burns in you. You didn’t know why, but you were mad. 

Then Archie comes up beside you and Kevin to open his locker. 

“Hey Arch!” You say loud enough so Juggie and Betty hear as they came closer. 

“Hey Y/N!” He replies and smiles and grabs some books out of his locker. 

Then Betty and Jughead come up to you guys. 

“Hey.” Jug says to you all and takes you into his arms in a light kiss. 

You kiss him back a little harder and then let go, smirking at him. 

You turn around and get books out of your locker as the rest of the gang talks. 

“So how was studying?” Jughead asked you. 

There it was, he was jealous.

“Fine, and you?” You asked smiling.

“Fine too.” He looked at you a little angrily and then said, “Well, I better get to class.” and walked away. 




After school, while in your room, you heard a knock on your window, it was Jughead. 

You quickly opened it and let him inside. 

“Hello beautiful.” He said and leaned in for a kiss. 

You rolled your eyes at his cliche saying but kissed him back. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. He wrapped his arms around your waste as his lips moved gracefully against yours.

After a few moments you broke apart and stared lovingly into his eyes and he did the same. 

bing!

His phone dinged and he pulled it out. 

“Ugh. I got to go.” He sighed and made his way towards the window.

“What? why?” You asked in an annoyed tone.

“I promised Betty I would help her with an assignment, sorry.” He said.

You lets out a loud groan. Jughead turned around to face you.

“What was that for?” He inquired.

“Nothing… It’s just seems like you’ve been wanting to be with Betty a lot lately.” You answered turning your head up a bit.

“Ya, so? She’s my friend.” He said.

“Friend, huh? It seems like you want to be more than that with her.” You said. You know you were going overboard, but you needed to show Jughead you meant business.

“What? Y/N that just stupid! You know that’s not true!” He raised his voice a bit.

“Oh really? Then why are you spending more time with her than with me?” You said, crossing your arms.

“I’m not! We just study together sometimes and-” He began but you cut him off.

“Sometimes? Sometimes?! You have been with her almost everyday after school for the past two weeks!” You raised your voice and stepped at bit closer to him.

“I have not! Your just jealous!” He yelled.

Anger burned in your eyes, you could feel your face getting red and your palms sweating.

“You know what? Fine. Whatever! Just go!” You yelled pointing to the window. “I’ll just invite over Archie!” 

Jughead began to leave until he hear the last sentence. He whirled around.

“Archie? Why Archie?!” He said, his eyes burned.

“See!! Your jealous too!!” Your voice getting louder by the second.

“I am not!” Jughead yelled, heading towards the window again. 

“Yes you are! Now leave! Be with Betty! Cheat on me, see if I care!!” You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes. 

That was it. He turned around so fast he was like a blob of black clothes. 

“I’M NOT CHEATING ON YOU, YOU IDIOT!!” He screamed.

Jughead had never been so mad before. He had never yelled at you. He had never called you anything other than sweet things. But he was the most angry you had ever seen him.

Your face got hot, tears began to stream down your face.

“WHY WOULDN’T YOU? YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE! BETTY IS PERFECT AND SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL! JUST GO WITH HER!” You screamed as hot tears poured out of your eyes.

“YES I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOSE! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!” He screamed coming closer to you.

Did you hear him right?

“I love you Y/N.” He said a bit quieter, but still loudly. 

He then took your face in his hands and brought his mouth to yours. 

But before he kissed you, you let out a small whisper, 

“I love you too.” 

Game’s on!

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

Imagine: Klaus gets super jealous over you and you decide to punish, in a very hot way, him for almost murdering your best friend Stefan.

*requested

*smut, so read carefully

Word Count: 1577

Keep reading

Fuck Boy (Johnny x Reader)

Rating: M

(A/N) Ayyy it’s ya gorl, Ry, back at it again with those AUs. This time around I introduce you to Fuckboy Johnny, a backward hat wearing frat president on a personal vendetta to get your ass in his hands. viwevopwv jk or am I?? No I’m not lol Have fun kiddies!!!

Originally posted by ohbaibeeitsyou

You don’t really remember how you ended up in the shitty nice frat house, but here you were, pressed against the sticky wall by some boy who you met five minutes ago. You don’t even remember what his face looked like, your eyes are sealed shut and imagining it’s someone else. Maybe it was your subconscious making you forget everything, or all the Jungle Juice you’ve been chugging on top of the pregaming you’d done at a friend’s apartment. At this point your body was ninety percent alcohol and ten percent water, you weren’t even sure how you were still sweating from all the dancing.

Keep reading

“Jealousy isn’t my thing” Zach Dempsey

Request: Zach x Reader where Zach gets jealous :) [fluff-cuteness] hope everyone likes it.

NOTE: I am so sorry this is late but I hope you guys like it x

Originally posted by corn-flacks

You and Zach had been going out for 9 months now. Nearly a year. God everything was perfect. At first you were hesitant to even become friends with him because he’s a Jock. it was a biology project that got both of you together. so from working on a project; to revising together; then the healthy flirting turning into a relationship.

Your best friend Clay was really happy for you. He was against it first because Zach was a “JOCK” but then he saw how caring, loving and affectionate Zach was towards you.

Zach didn’t mind yours and Clay’s friendship but he wasn’t a big fan of it either. Sometimes you would see Zach dropping him looks but you’d ignore it thinking he’s just being childish. 

You haven’t really seen Zach much because you and Clay have this History project coming up so you’ve been with Clay for a whole week working on it.

“God I miss him Clay” you said as Clay was stapling some papers.                      “I know (Y/N), but patience is a virtue” he said whilst laughing and you just gave him a little nudge.

—————————————————————————————————-

(Zach’s POV)

I trust her. I really do. But recently she’s been spending all her time with the Jensen and i don’t like it. I know that she loves me but like why can’t she just take two minutes out to call me or something.

{Next Day}

There she is, walking arm in arm with Jensen. Am I her man or Jensen?            “What’s up bro?” said Justin.                                                                                 “Nothing bro” i said whilst glaring at Jensen. No, I don’t like this but she doesn’t care so fuck it. She’s looking at me, walking towards me with her arms open like nothing’s wrong. WOW.

((Y/N) POV)

He saw me right? Why did he just walk off like that?                                            “Is everything ok?” Clay said but I didn’t know what to say so i just nodded and walked with him.

3 days. 3 motherf**kin days and Zach Dempsey has not even looked to me, let alone spoken to me. He’s there with all his jock friends but do I care? No! So here it goes.

(Zach’s POV)

She just grabbed my arm and dragged me with her to the girl’s toilet. Thank God no one was there to see. Well…the teachers weren’t there so it’s fine…I guess.                                                                                                                  “What’s your problem?” she said as she had me against the wall. God i just wanted her for myself, that’s all. She looked so beautiful all the time but when she was angry, there was something about her.She looked HOT AS FUCK.        

“Nothing.” I said coldly, pushing her lightly to the side and trying to walk off “you should go to Jensen probably he won’t make you feel pissed” I said and all i heard was a little sniffle.

“OH..MY..GOD. I am so sorry babe…ok-don…don’t cry now” I said. I couldn’t see her upset. I was just pissed that you were spending time with Jensen and not me. I know better, I trust you and I shouldn’t have acted like a chil-”

 But to my unfortunate luck she was just pretending. Before i could finish (Y/N)  started giggling and it turned into  a fit of laughter. I must say I was relieved that I didn’t make her cry.     

                                                                                                                    “Jealousy’s not my thing” she said.                                                                       “What do you me-”, I was cut off by her tender lips placed in mine and let’s just say it was kiss filled with love, passion. lust and hunger of  not kissing each other for a week. The kiss turned in to a everlasting make out session. My hands all over her body, her leaving trails of kisses down my neck. Then those purple marks that only I could give her. My left hand resting on her but and my right hand on her thigh. She had her hands around my neck.                               She stopped to catch her breath. “When we started dating you told me Jealousy isn’t your thing, but look at you now. All jealous and that”

I was stuck for a moment. I’m not the jealous type but this time I was. “I..uh..ummm…I felt insecure” She looked at me confused as to why would I even feel that way. “It’s just he’s known you for years and all so I got a bit j..jea…jealous!”.

She cupped both of my cheeks and gave me a little peck. “ I love you, Dempsey” (Y/N) said, her eyes filled with love. “ It’s been 9 months since we’ve been together so that says a lot” she said with  a little giggle. 

I laughed, reassured that my baby is only my baby. 

“Who’s in there?” we heard Ms.Kimberly say.                                                        “We’re so dead” (Y/N) said. WE both came out and faced Ms. Kimberly who had a disappointed look on her face. (Y/N) lipstick was on my lips, her neck was covered with this purple bruises and so was mine. 

“Office. Now!” she yelled and started walking with us following behind.

“Jealousy still isn’t my thing, just saying” I said before pulling (Y/N) from her waist towards myself for a hug.

Originally posted by kissing-pleasure

Harry Hook - Preppy Pink Princess

Originally posted by unchxxrted

Requested By: Anon

Request:  can i request one where harry hook and his girlfriend, the daughter of mother gothel, are at auradon & she’s used to him flirting a lot with everyone but when she sees him flirting with the daugther/son of rapunzel, thats when she gets mad/jealous (bonus if he’s caressing her face with his hook while he’s trying to fix the situation)

Authors Note: I’m really sorry about how short this is, and that it’s kind of rushed, but I still hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of trouble with this, and I’m not very happy with it, but I’m hoping it turned out decent! 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“You’re acting ridiculous, love.” Harry laughed, his figure directly behind your own as you stormed up the stairs and toward your new dorm.

“What do you mean I’m acting ridiculous? How the hell am I acting ridiculous?” You asked, your voice dripping in venom as you slammed open your door and made your way inside. 

Harry laughed again, his usually darkly outlined eyes bright and full of life as he made his way toward you.

“You’re jealous of a princess. A preppy, pink princess.” 

You snickered, quickly crossing your arms in front of your chest and giving him a daring glare. 

“I’m not jealous, okay?” You snapped, “But I am pissed off about the fact that you were flirting with some girl right in front of me!”

Harry gave you a smug grin, his eyes boring into you as he pressed his chest against yours.

“I flirt with everyone, Y/N.” He reminded, “Besides, I did it all the time on the Isle. What’s so different about me flirting with that chick?”

“Because she’s Rapunzel’s daughter!” You seethed, “And because there’s no reason for you to flirt with the people around here!”

“And there was a reason for me to flirt with people back on the Isle?”

“Of course there was no reason, but at least the people on the Isle knew not to flirt back!” You raged, your hand reaching up and poking Harry in the chest. “Besides, we’re at Auradon now. I can’t do anything to these people when they piss me off like I could back on the Isle!” 

Harry cracked up at that, his eyes scrunching together in pure amusement as he threw his head back and laughed. Giving him another glare, you hit him in the chest, the whole situation just as serious to you as it was funny to him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He laughed. “It’s just so funny, seeing you get so worked up about this random chick. I mean, I get that you’re Gothels daughter, but still! It’s so unlike you!” 

You rolled your eyes, an angry sigh escaping your lips as you continued to stand face to face with your way too amused boyfriend.

“This isn’t funny, Har!” You growled, your voice slightly more sad than it was before. “I know you’re just joking around and stuff, but I don’t like it when you flirt with people like that. I’ve NEVER liked it when you flirt with people like that. I mean, can you imagine how that makes me feel?” You questioned, your eyes holding a sense of insecurity that Harry wasn’t used to seeing. 

“Hey…” He whispered, a slight chuckle still in his voice as he looked at you with the kindest eyes you had ever seen. “You know I’m just messing around. You have nothing to worry about.” 

“Well, it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.” You admitted, your eyes looking straight at the ground as the embarrasment of you insecurities began to set in.

Harry let out a breathy sigh, the amused look on his face completely gone as he seen just how much his joking antics had affected you.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” He whispered, his left hand cupping your cheek and making you face him. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it. It’s just something I’ve always done.”

“I know.” You huffed, the warmth from his hand making you dizzy. “And I know you’re just messing around.” You continued. “But it just really gets to me sometimes.” 

“Well then why didn’t you say anything?” He asked, a look of guilt and realization washing across his face. 

You shrugged, your eyes looking straight into his as you attempted to explain. “I don’t know. I guess I was afraid of seeming like the jealous type.” You whispered, “Besides, we already have so many qualities that drive each other crazy. I didn’t want to give you another thing to add to the list of things to dislike about Y/N.”

Harry laughed at that, a small smile playing on his lips as he leaned closer to you. 

“Love, I’m pretty sure I give you a new quality to add to my list every single day.” He joked, the hook in his right hand lifting from his side and gently caressing your face. “Besides, you look hot when you’re angry. I’d never dislike that about you.” He winked, the slight tickle from his hook making you shiver.

“But I am sorry.” He suddenly continued, his hand leaving your face and resting on your hip, the tip of his hook lightly pressing into the small of your back.”I didn’t know it bothered you that much. I won’t flirt with princesses anymore.” He promised, a small smile forming on his lips. “I’ll save it for the Isle girls.”

You rolled your eyes, his words seemingly insincere but his eyes holding a love so deep that you knew he really was sorry. 

“You better be.” You chuckled, suddenly pushing him away from you and crossing your arms in front of your chest. Because if you keep doing it, I definitely won’t deal with it like a preppy, pink princess.”

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

It’s Really You

Request: “HiI have a request in mind, but you do not want to do it, no problem. You can make a shy reader who does not have many friends until you find a Pennywise and they become best friends.”

&

“OK ,how about this … The reader thinks penny is her imaginary friend ,then when people tell her that those don’t exist she tells penny to go away ,and 27 years later after his “sleep” he decides to see how she is doing and she realizes he is real“

Pairing: Pennywise x Reader

Warnings: Henry Bowers (I think that’s pretty self explanatory lol)

A/N: I decided to combine both requests together and instead of Pennywise waking up 27 years later the reader will be 5 years old and when she sees him again 10 years later she will be 15.

It was spring and boy were the springs in Derry pretty amazing. Flowers blossomed, rain poured, birds chirped and the grass grew rapidly. You were currently at the park just down the street from your house. Your mother was at work so it was just you and your father at the park. He was watching you as he read a magazine while he sipped his afternoon coffee.

You noticed a figure behind a tree, you had flowers in your hand that you were planning to give your mother but your curiosity made you drop them. Your little 5 year old legs sped off approaching the tree quickly going behind it to see who the figure was. Your dad assumed that you wanted better flowers so he brushed it off.

There stood someone in a big white fluffy costume with big orange pom poms on them. But you couldn’t see their face they were hiding it behind a pyramid of red balloons. You were extremely curious but you were also debating if you should talk to the stranger. Without thinking you decided to speak up.

“Don’t be afraid show your face.” You said.

“I am not afraid.” The voice said. 

He let go of the balloons and that’s when you noticed, he was a clown with white and red face paint on. His fiery orange hair was the feature that stuck out to you the most and the fact that he was really tall.

“Hello Mr. ClownMan!” You said excitedly.

“Hiya darling would you like a balloon?” He asked bending down to your height.

You nodded excitedly as he made a balloon appear from thin air. You giggled happily as you took it. 

What the hell was happening to him? Something like this never happened to Pennywise, if you were any other child you would have been dead by now and in his guts. He felt a warm feeling as if he was growing fond of you. But why why was this even happening?

“Thank you umm-” You struggled wondering what his name was.

“I’m Pennywise The Dancing Clown.” The clown introduced himself. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Shy Derek fics?

Noteworthy by joanc24

“You did WHAT?”

“I told Stiles he’s cute.” He can feel his face flushing as he fully admits, “Well, not exactly.”

“Derek.” He hated that tone, that ‘you better tell me everything before I punch you’ tone.

“I wrote it in his notebook!”

Possibili(tea) by dragon_temeraire

Stiles might have a crush on his co-worker, who always brews him amazing tea.

Big Spoon by Emela

If there is anything Stiles has learned from being forced to watch romantic comedies with Lydia since Freshmen year, it’s that when you begin to fall for someone, it usually starts with their smile. Or their eyes. Or even their ass. What all those hours do not prepare him for is falling head over- why-am-I-getting-a-boner-from-this- heels because of a blush.

A Perfect Storm by keeperofstoriesqueenofday

The first time Derek sees him is on the Subway.

The fifth time Derek spots him, the boy has a split lip and an angry alpha threatening him.

(OR: Where Scott is a really bad boyfriend and Derek ends up being Stiles’ hero)

Only You by Emela

Derek does his best to get out of the party, but despite his best efforts Erica somehow manages to convince him anyway. (The fact she mentions that Stiles Stilinski is going to be there, probably in tight jeans, is irrelevant.)

Derek finds himself roped into a game of ‘Truth or Dare’ at a party and is dared to kiss Stiles.

Keep reading

Fatigue (M)

Character / Genre: Min Yoongi x reader (oc) | Smut, Fluff

Prompt: “Let me spoil you tonight, Princess.”

Summary: He has a special way to help you wipe away your fatigue after a long day. And tonight, it is all about you.

Warning: Fingering, soft Yoongi, bath tub scenes

a/n: I have so much writings piling up in my draft and this one was actually one of the oldest (lmaooo I am so lame), I wrote this in the middle of my packed deadlines but then I have been too busy and tired to re-read and edit this. Plus I ended up posting Heat which had almost the same topic *shrugs* Sorry if this is lame, it’s just a simple fantasy when I just wanted to be spoiled by my dear beloved Min Yoongi. Enjoy! 

Originally posted by vmiin


Keep reading

Mean - Part 1 [Harrison Osterfield series]

A/N PART ONE IS FINALLY UP!! Honestly this part isn’t that all great… a lot of drama, but i hope you like it!! If you have any suggestions for the series do sumbit them :)) i will credit you don’t worry

Summary: You and Harrison share the same group of friends, but somehow you can’t stand each other. All of your friends wonder how long it’ll take for you two to get along, or maybe even fall in love.

Word Count: 1, 230

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x reader, ft Tom Holland and friends

Warnings: Curse words? Angst? Asshole!Osterfield

Masterlist | Mini Masterlist

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 



Two years ago

“Come on. Truth or dare!” Tom exclaimed as he plopped down in the beanbag.

“Yea! What is a sleepover without truth or dare?” Megan chimed as she huddled in her blankets.

You rolled your eyes. You were having a sleepover with your clique at Tom’s house. Tom, Megan and Harrison. Ugh Harrison. You clambered onto the pile of blankets and you sat between Megan and Tom.

“Megan! You start.” Harrison suggested. She picked truth.

“Would you rather date Harry or Sam?” Tom smirked. He knew that Megan had a crush on one of the twins, he just didn’t know which one.

“Sam.” She said quietly, with her head bowed down a little.

“I KNEW IT!” Tom shouted, startling Tessa who was beside him.

“Jesus Christ! He’ll hear you Holland. So shut it.”

Rounds passed, you were starting to lose interest in the game, until it was your turn again. You picked dare.

“I dare you, to tell your sister that we’re dating.” Harrison smirked. You rolled your eyes. How could he do such a thing? You threw off the blankets that were on your lap and you stormed to the yard. You were fuming.

“Such a lil prick.” You muttered as you whipped out your phone. You were planning to text your mum that you’ll be heading home from the sleepover in a few minutes.

You cursed as you realised it was freezing outside. All you were wearing was a hoodie and pjamas. You couldn’t go in. You didn’t want to face cocky Harrison. You hugged your hoodie and sat down in a chair. You took deep breaths, enjoying the peace of a cool night.

“God Harrison? How could you say that?” You heard Megan’s voice.

“What’s going on?” Tom raised his voice a little.

You couldn’t hear anything else. You gave up straining your ears and you tried to make yourself comfortable in a terribly uncomfortable chair.

“Hey…” Tom said as he stepped out into the yard. You gave him a small smile.

“I figured that you’d be cold…” He draped a blanket over you. You nodded your head, signalling a ‘thank you’ to him.

“What happened?” He started. “Sorry, I’m just not really up to date with the fued between you and Haz.” He rubbed his hands together for warmth.

“He cheated.”

“On you?” Tom looked surprised. “I thought you guys didn’t date… he was dating…”

“My sister. And he cheated on her.” You stated. “It broke my sister so badly. She was so hurt because of him.”

You were at Harrison’s birthday party. You wanted to give him his birthday present and some well wishes. You were praying that he would like the batman figurine.

You stepped into the kitchen. You froze. There he was. Pressing his lips against a blonde’s. Your sister was not a blonde. She definitely did not get her hair dyed.

“Harrison.” You said sternly.

You were fuming. How could he cheat on your sister? You didn’t manage to get his attention, so you threw the wrapped gift at him. He pulled away from the blonde, staring at you as if you were interrupting a good time.

“Harrison osterfield!” You yelled.

“Y/N!” He smiled, as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

“How could you do this?” You pressed a finger into his chest. “How could you, of all people, cheat on MY sister?” You furrowed your brows as you shoved him again. By then the blonde had realised the situation and excused herself.

“Please Y/N. It was just a kiss. It’s nothing.” He smirked and looked down at you. You wanted to yell at him. How could he do such a thing to your baby sister?

“Here you go fucktard. Hope you enjoy your birthday with a dumb blonde.” You picked up the gift and shoved it in his face. You walked out of the kitchen, fuming. You were leaving to comfort your sister.

“By the way! She’s not dumb. She’s actually the top in her class!” He hollered at you as you walked out. You could practically hear him smirk.

Your sister was torn after finding out that Harrison had cheated on her. She spent weeks cooped up in her room crying. She was so heartbroken and you spent so much time and effort to pick up her broken pieces. You were angry to see your sister so beat up over a boy. Over Harrison Osterfield.

“But what he did was to her… not to you… There must be more than that right?” Tom said

“Of course there is. He’s cocky, he’s an asshole, he’s a playboy and pretentious prick!” You exclaimed.

“Right… but you know, he really really li-” Tom was cut off by the sound of the door opening.

“I’m sorry Y/N…” Harrison started. “I really am. Here’s some hot chocolate… I figured you might be freezing.” He said as he set down a mug on the table.

“It’s fine. Whatever.” You rolled your eyes.

“I really am sorry Y/N.” He said, his blue eyes seem to plead with you, begging you for forgiveness.

“Yea yea whatever.” You said. “Let’s get back to our sleepover shall we?”



Three weeks later

Your fued with Harrison had died down a little. You weren’t exactly arguing like you used to all the time, but you were just not talking to each other, well, you weren’t talking to him.

“Hey Y/N! Could you help me get something from the props room? I need a waste paper basket and a lamp.” Tom said, not looking up from the script he’s reading.

You headed to the props room at the end of the classroom. You swung it open. You felt a liquid running on your scalp. You frowned. Then, a gush of liquid splashed on your head. It was pink paint.

“Thomas Stanely Holland!” You yelled in frustration.

“Yes Y/N? Whats go- oh…” Tom saw your pink state and doubled over in laughter.

“Can’t believe you did this Holland!” You berated.

“I… I swear, I didn’t!” He said between laughs. Gosh you were fuming. If it wasn’t Tom…

“HARRISON OSTERFIELD.” You yelled. You heard him snicker. “God you are such an asshole!” You stomped up to him and shoved him.

“Sorry Y/N… too embarrassed? I mean you’ve turned pink!” Harrison joked.

“I have an audition in 5 minutes. You tell me. Will I embarrassed to turn up pink? I think yes ASSHOLE.” You shoved him another time. This audition was supposed to be your big break. You were thrilled to finally have a chance to act in a movie, and stupid Harrison Osterfield had to screw it up.

“Geez. Don’t you have extra clothes or something?” He hissed and rolled his eyes. You shook your head.

“What an unprofessional.” You heard him mutter under his breath. Thats when you lost it.

“Don’t ever say that I am an unprofessional. Look who’s talking? Mr I’ve-never-been-offered-a-single-audition?” You slapped him hard across the cheek. You didn’t care if you were going to get in trouble. “At least I got offer an audition. At least I have a chance. At least I’m trying. I’m trying hard than you! You don’t even deserve to be here.” You spat.

“You know… that’s why you don’t belong here. You need to work hard to get into an arts school? Work hard to get an audition? Pathetic.” He glowered at you.

You stormed out of the classroom, hot tears spilling out of your eyes. You were enraged and hurt by his words. How could he say such a thing? How could a human being be so disgusting?


Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 

Send in requests or suggestions for the next part!


Taglist (send me an ask/message if you want to be tagged in imagines)

@bitchhstopp @marciakhxxng @maliasheda @mischief-moony@moodycreature @fab-notfat @walkers-imagine @ruefulposts@dropdeadrxses @spooder-tom @siennarossi @peachyyvibes @clean-and-claire @grownmanjisoo @isucaf @alaskastella @once-upon-a-walking-wolf-demigod @seilamigliorcosacheabbiamaivisto @julieanncupcake @sam-a-holland @smilesfromabove @theonlyonelives

3

requested by @pearltheartist <3
prompt:
  Married Richie x reader where they’ve been married for 3 years already and Richie starts to get jealous of a new coworker
a/n: your drawings are very cute!

if you like my stuff and want to support me, don’t forget to treat me to a KO-FI! take part in the 7K followers gift HERE!

MASTERLIST.

With a heavy sigh you pinch the bridge of your nose, “For the love of—Richie. Richie he is just a co-worker.” You explain for the umpteenth time. Your husband that, and you see this happening for the first time, is extremely jealous refuses to listen to common sense and logic, simply fixes his glasses and glares into the distance. And it was such a nice October day, too. You had decided to bring Richie to your workplace and show him around – he has a free day today and he had stated he wanted to spend it with you, - and one of the newly employed workers had commented how pretty you looked, and oblivious to the fact that Rich will not appreciate it, you had beamed a brilliant smile and replied a lovely ‘Thank you’.

“But did you see the way he looked at you? Did you? Because I did. I don’t trust Whats-His-Face. Keep an eye on him. Or better yet, I will keep an eye on him. I’m influencer. I can hire a bodyguard—“

“Rich.” Your nerves are on the verge of breaking and in a fit you hook your hand with his and make him look at you, “Are you being serious right now?”

“Hey!” He fumes, “I have the right to feel angry when some douche targets my smoking hot wife!”

“Jesus Christ…”

“I know I am, and the Bible says you have to listen to Jesus so I’m telling you now, (Name), that man is trouble.”

requests are open!

A Way to You Again: Part 9

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Language

Word Count:  1792

Catch Up Here

Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Author’s Notes: Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for the request. Holy mother of confrontations.

Originally posted by dailybuckybarnes

Originally posted by ch-est-er

I felt the couch shift slightly as someone sat beside me. I immediately knew who it was, and I was happy to act like I was sleeping until the end of time to avoid him. “Y/N,” Bucky whispered softly as he placed his hand on my back. I stiffened at the contact.

“Don’t,” I snapped as I sat up and looked at him. I could tell it was nearing the early dawn hours by the soft yellow light that flooded through the windows.

“Please doll,” he whispered as he placed his hand back in his lap. “I didn’t ask for her to be there. I told her to leave right before you came in,” he explained – desperation dripping from his voice.

“Don’t you get it?” I laughed as I hastily wiped tears away from my eyes. “You did ask for it, Bucky. You slept with her and kept it a secret before breaking it off…” I paused for a moment before turning to him. “Did you even really break it off or were you seeing her when you started spending time with me?” The words sounded much more accusatory than I had meant for them to be.

Bucky blinked for a moment – shocked at the words that had come out of my mouth – before anger flashed across his face. “For Christ’s sake, Y/N! If you would just let me explain what happened!” he answered, exasperated, as he slammed his fist onto the couch.

“I think I can sum it up quite nicely. You fucked my best friend, and kept it a secret from everyone on the team. You then broke it off with her— knowing that she had feelings for you, and began pursuing me. You then did the exact same thing to me,” I muttered bitterly as I looked anywhere but at him.

“Except I didn’t break it off with you – you ran away. Off to some place that I couldn’t find, and refused to talk to anyone. And then when I called to apologize you told me it’s over, and hung up. Let’s not forget about the sister I never knew existed.” Bucky was becoming more agitated by the minute as he struggled to reign in his emotions.

“I didn’t tell you about her because I was trying to protect her!” I shouted as I angrily pushed myself off the couch.

“And why won’t you believe me when I tell you the same thing?” he asked as with a sad sigh. His anger had deflated and he was grappling for words as he ran his hands through his hair nervously. The sight of him looking so helpless and confused disarmed me and I felt my own anger ebb. All the things that Steve had confided in me about Bucky’s happiness and subsequent withdrawal after I had left came flooding back. I sat down beside him softly.

“When did you start having nightmares again?” I asked quietly. In the months that we had been together he rarely had nightmares, and even when he did they were no where close to what he had had tonight.

“Since you left,” he responded just as quietly.

“I’m sorry I left. I know it wasn’t the right thing to do. I should have stayed and talked to you…. I missed you,” I added as I rested my hand over his.

“Then nothing else matters. It’s all in the past. We can move forward,” he responded fiercely as he gazed up into my eyes.

His words echoed back to those of another, who had once said the the same thing—holding me captive with the promise of a better tomorrow for years. I could feel the chill creep into my heart again as I quickly removed my hand and watched Bucky’s face melt into confusion. “It does matter and you know it,” I responded brutally.

“Why? Why can’t we talk about this and move on from it?” Bucky pleaded.

“Because I love you!” I yelled at him as I pushed off the couch once again. I froze at my sudden announcement. I hadn’t meant to say it – I had just been trying to reason my feelings out in my mind and it had slipped through. I looked at Bucky as he sat frozen on the couch. His mouth opened and closed several times; unable to formulate any type of response to me. I turned to leave – it was like I was living my own personal nightmare. I had prepared for this revelation as best as I could, but I had failed miserably in its delivery.

“Y/N, wait,” Bucky breathed as his hand wrapped around my arm – stopping me in my tracks. I turned to look at him again, but still saw the same troubled and terrified blue eyes that I had witnessed when I had accidentally confessed my feelings. “I…”

“Just tell me this Bucky – why did your best friend have to come find me in secret? Why wasn’t it you?” I asked bitterly as tears stung my eyes. Bucky looked down at the ground unable to answer me. “Jesus Christ – I can’t stay here and look at you like this,” I muttered as I yanked my arm from his grasp and turned to leave. As I stepped into the elevator I turned to make sure he wasn’t following me and saw him standing in the same spot I had left him. Just before the doors closed he turned to look at me with tears in his eyes.


I slumped against the wall of the elevator once the doors had closed. I felt like I had had the breath knocked out of me. Tears trailed down my cheeks as I tried desperately to regain my composure. Some of the others would be awake by now and I didn’t want to stir any suspicion. I couldn’t answer their questions – no matter how well intended they might be.

As the elevator doors opened to the common room I rushed through them – determined to dart to my room. In my panic I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings and ran into Steve.

“Woah, Y/N! Where’s the fire?” he chuckled. The humor in his eyes extinguished when he looked at my bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. “What happened?”

“I…” I was finding it hard to speak, and keep my composure. “I walked in on Nat comforting Bucky after a nightmare and I…” Steve visibly tensed at this.

“Go on,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me and brought my head to his chest.

“I… he followed me, and I confronted him… and… I told him I loved him,” I whispered as I buried my head into Steve’s chest. I just wanted to disappear. “And he didn’t say anything, Steve… He just stood there.”

“Y/N,” Bucky’s voice came from behind me. I stiffened at the sound. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Steve hugged me tight as he sighed into my hair.

“Y/N, you should head back to your room. I’ll come check on you in a second,” Steve muttered. I looked up at him confused.

“Steve, I can…” but the look he gave me stopped me in my tracks. I swallowed hard before Steve’s arms dropped to his side and I half-turned defensively towards Bucky.

“Y/N, I…” but Bucky’s words were halted by Steve’s fist hitting him straight in the jaw. He blinked once before falling to his knees. He stared at me as I turned to leave.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Steve asked angrily as I retreated to my room – unwilling to participate in a super soldier brawl.


I slumped back to rest my head on my door. I was dizzy from the tale-spin of emotions that I had just endured. I heard Bucky trudge down the hallway with Steve close behind him.

“What are you doing?!” Steve demanded before a door slammed – securing both men safely in Bucky’s room, and making it less likely that they would wake up the entire tower.

“What am I doing?!” Bucky bellowed back. “I’m trying to win my girl back, and you keep getting in the way Rogers!”

“What the hell are you talking about Buck?” Steve asked – astonishment driving his voice to become even louder.

“Every time I turn around you are there with her. How am I supposed to even get a second to make things right when you are always there?!” Bucky yelled back at him before quieting himself – he must have regained enough sense to realize I could hear everything he was saying.

“You’re kidding, right? You don’t need my help fucking things up, Buck. You’re doing great on your own,” Steve answered incredulously. I could tell that Steve was trying to regain control of his anger but was struggling. “She literally ran away from you, and you refused to run after her. If it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t even be here, you fucking idiot!”

Silence lapsed between the two men as I held my breath – waiting for Bucky’s response. There was of course no way I could have known that Bucky would snap and run full force towards his best friend. Suddenly there was a loud crash and a cloud of debris as the two men came hurtling through the wall –Bucky with his hands still around Steve’s throat. I shrieked in response as I scrambled off of my bed and into the corner of the room as the two men crashed onto the floor. They rolled around – jabbing at one another and grunting. After the initial shock wore off I looked at the gaping hole that now adorned my bedroom wall, and felt anger bubble up from within me.

“What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?!” I screeched as I stomped over to the two of them and fruitlessly attempted to pry them apart. The men continued to fight as I yelled at them. Hot angry tears rolled from my eyes as they finally broke apart – realizing suddenly where they were and what they were doing.

Bucky scrambled to his feet quickly – his hair in disarray and he shirt partially torn. “Doll I am so..”

“What the fuck gives you the right to act like fucking two-year olds? Both of you are grown ass men! God! Just get out of my room!” I yelled as I stomped my foot in frustration. Without saying another word both men quickly exited. I groaned as I looked at the gaping hole in the wall near my bed. As Bucky entered his own room I realized there was no way I could stay. Not without seeing him, and hearing him every second – I angrily padded across the room, and grabbed my gym bag before making my way to the gym.

Tags:

@bless-my-demons @lillian-paige @pleasefixthepain @nikkitia7 @kittthekat @ailynalonso15 @themistsofmyavalon @coffeeismylife28 @melconnor2007 @harleyqueen7 @sebbys-girl @marvel-lucy @lbouvet @totallygroovyllama @stickthinbarbie @avengers-bucky-fanfic @buckybarnesbestbabe @irepeldirt @glitterintheairblog @mizzzpink @barnesandnoble13 @themercurialmadhatter @bringmetheemobands @theloveablesociopath @selfdestructivefangirl @bellenuit45 @moncun @smkunz613 @ephemeral-high @the-craziestone @zxcorra @awinterloveuniverse @thefandomplace @hellomissmabel @imamoose @dont-let-me-go-again @barnes-and-noble-girl @hollycornish @amrita31199 @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @skeletoresinthebasement @iron-winter @mikaelarhead @shliic @queenllamamama13 @jasmins3 @caitsymichelle13 @winterboobaer @mytasterpeculiar @bexboo616 @sgt-jbb-107 @sapphire1727 @seargantbcky @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @fiercemonaco @marvelouslyloki @kendallefire @lilasiannerd @alyssaj23 @harleenquim @masha-meow01 @simplyashley95 @beautifulbri26 @buckyappreciationsociety @specs15 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @basicallybucky @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte @tequilavet @welovesebsquad @shamvictoria11 @megandrawsspace @axelinchen @domcaaa996 @get-weird-pjjl @buckypietroandstevearemyfavs @genlovesdcb @gingerbatchwife @specs15 @xthefuckerysquaredx @sammysgirl1997 @sebstanthemanxo @alltheprettyroyals @writingblockswriters @maygenjayne1 @sempiternal-amour @fine-ass-feminist

When their s/o pulls them in for an unexpected kiss

Originally posted by tuanpumpkins

Mark

It’s honestly hard to say with Mark.  I feel like he’s a little more brazen than some of the other guys simply because he’s American and didn’t grow up in the more polite culture of Korea, but even with that said, he’s still a shy little bub.  If it’s early on in the relationship, I feel like he will be more shy about intimate moments like that.  His face will go red and he’ll probably let out one of those ridiculously cute nervous giggles.  However, if we’re talking later in the relationship, BOI!  He’s a Virgo.  He’s Cheeky.  He’s teasing.  He’s going to make you squirm before he’s done with you.  I think it would depend on where and when this is happening.  If out in public, he’ll kiss you back, but not linger (I feel like he’s more conscious of how others perceive him).  Now, if it’s at home, you can expect things to heat up pretty quickly, whether it be a steamy make-out or something a little more energy exerting.  Either way, I think Mark is a toss up kind of guy.  “Baby, you should know better than to surprise me like that.” (do I really need to even say ‘wink wink’?)

Originally posted by the-igot7

JB

I don’t know what it is about this man that I just think he’s a fluffy, flustered puppy.  Like he seems the type to be more gruff and tough, but he’s not.  Okay?  Whoever is blessed with the chance to be this one’s significant other will learn quite quickly that he’s a giant push over.  He loves to love and loves to be loved.  Lots of blushing, lots of stuttering, lots of unintended aegyo.  Of course, he does have a more ‘serious’ side for when he’s hot and bothered, but you have to get there first or he has to already have the bedroom on his mind.  I don’t know, I guess when I think of Jaebum I just envision cheese.  Like he’s so cheese-y!  Horrible dad jokes, puns that only make sense to him, and dirty, dirty mind that he shares with LITERALLY NO ONE EVER.  Fluff, flustered, puppy?  Yes.  Daddy material? Also yes.  He ain’t even my bias, ladies and gents!  I know one when I see one, I’m just sayin’!  Anyway, even if he leans more towards the Tsundere side of his personality after you surprise kiss him, don’t be alarmed or discouraged.  This guy LOVES when you kiss him, especially when he doesn’t see it coming.  Also, am I the only one who envisions hot, steamy, make up session?  Like you’re both arguing and suddenly BAM you’ve smashed your lips together and the rest is history?  I can’t be the only one!  

Keep reading

Bite Me - Bucky Barnes x Reader - Drabble

Originally posted by geeketteparadise

Summary: In which Bucky Barnes temps a semi-naked (Y/N), only to see the side he desires and despises.
REQUEST BY: 2 ANONS (thank you!)
PROMPT NUMBERS: 24: You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad
17: Bite me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 354 // Drabble

[[ Check Out My Masterlist ]]

A/N: Requests are open and I absolutely am open to anything! I love speaking to you guys and receiving any type of feed back so please don’t hesitate to send an ask or message (:

Keep reading