you are so diabolical and destructive

If God is All, then He is also the Devil, and one cannot approach to the godlike without at the same time approaching to the diabolic—so that, in a manner of speaking, heaven looks at you out of one eye, and the hell of the iciest negation and most destructive neutrality out of the other. But whether they lie close together or far apart, it is two eyes, my dear lady, that make up one gaze. So now I ask you: what sort of gaze is that wherein the horrifying contradiction of the two eyes is united? I will tell you, tell you and myself: it is the gaze of absolute art, which is at once absolute love and absolute nihilism and indifference, and implies that horrifying approach to the godlike-diabolic which we call genius.

Thomas Mann, Lotte in Weimar

The Future: Fetal Consciousness, Family, & Faith

I started this thinking I just had little tidbits to add to an array of other metas for this episode that I’ve read and really enjoyed, but it seems to have basically become its own thing (yay, me, writing meta).  Hopefully somebody reads it and cares? Maybe? Eh, maybe not, I’m really not sure what I’m doing here on Tumblr. But look at me making some original content (it’s really a blue moon thing).

To clarify, I’m not disagreeing with really anything I’ve read, but rather these are thoughts inspired by what I’ve read and also some, “Yes, but let’s also think about this,” or “Oh and did you know?” and of course, “Didn’t anybody else notice _____?” Full disclosure, at one point in my life I was seriously considering becoming a Doula.

Fetal Consciousness

I’m a mom. I’m also really, really into natural childbirth and giving babies and kids the best start possible, so I birthed my son on my knees, unmedicated, like the stubborn Taurus that I am. In the months leading up to his birth I practiced hypnobirthing techniques, attended classes, and read a shit ton of books. One of my favorite topics to study during this time was fetal consciousness. Most of their awareness is mediated by the mother’s reaction to her environment via the language of hormones. For example, if the mother tends to get upset, agitated (releasing stress hormones like adrenaline, cortisol, and exhibiting physical changes like racing heartbeat, heavier breathing, shallow breathing, and the like), when speaking to a particular person, the baby associates that person’s voice with negative feelings and can be born with an aversion to that person. Bottom line, fetuses know what’s up, to a certain extent in their own limited way, and especially the closer they get to term. So yeah, it’s totally reasonable to assume that baby “hates” Dagon as much as any fetus can hate someone, because she keeps upsetting his environment and flooding him with very negative, uncomfortable feelings via his mother’s reactions (by the way, how are we sure it’s a male child?).

Obviously, the further along a fetus is, the more consciousness it has (more senses are on line, more cognitive function, etc.). So, according to Sam’s calculations the Nephilim gestation period is about 23 weeks, rather than 38 weeks (the medical community uses 40 weeks, counting from the mother’s last period usually, but she’s not pregnant those first two weeks, unless her cycle is really a mess). Basically conception is LOTUS 12.08 on 12/8/2016 (they’re clearly going with this for simplicity’s sake) and the due date is this season’s finale, 5/18/2017. So, if the baby still has trimesters, the first 8 weeks is first trimester, the next 7.5 weeks is the second trimester, and the last 7.5 weeks is the last trimester (more time is usually given to the first trimester because of the false two weeks at the beginning and just to be cautious; whatever, this is how I’m doing it, my meta, my rules).

So, Kelly is 3 weeks from being due and therefore more than half way through her third trimester (3 weeks to go out of 7.5 weeks). Or the human pregnancy equivalent of about 35 weeks pregnant (in the idiotic 40 week pregnancy schedule, because remember the first 2 weeks aren’t real *sigh* this makes me crazy) or 5 weeks away from being term in a human pregnancy (technically 3-5 weeks from term, because once you hit 38 weeks, they’re like “any day now is fine!). This baby is just about ready to pop, lungs are bit behind, but would probably be fine landside, with proper care (might needs some time in an incubator or other lung support), with no super major risk (definitely not ideal, but not terrible). So when Dagon makes fun of Kelly for believing that baby saved her, I think she’s wrong.  Even before doing all this math, it rang untrue to me. The baby doesn’t really need Kelly anymore, he’s supernatural, he’s almost to term. So why did he save her? I have some ideas, we’ll get to those. Kelly feels it was care or love or something equally benign or positive. But I really don’t think it was to save himself. Though it is nice and comfy and safe in there, so that could be a motivator; again on a very rudimentary level. Like: “ack, home is failing! Bring home back online!” and this child just happens to have the power to make that so.

Infants have no sense of self. Mom and baby are one to baby. Baby is hungry = the whole world is hungry. Mom takes care of baby = Mom is the whole world. It’s really basic. It’s all senses and need and relief when needs are met. And sheer terror when they are not. Babies are wired for survival. They just scream and cry until they get what they need; or burn out and give up when they don’t get what they need in a reasonable amount of time, and that’s horrible and fundamentally changes their brains in really bad ways. They’re cute as fuck, so we care and don’t kill them or leave them to the wolves. They can root around for a nearby nipple and flail, but that’s about it at the beginning. So I don’t think this baby has any diabolical plans. It just wants to feel good and avoid pain. So, think of everything you see it orchestrate through that lens: feel good/avoid pain. Basic. Fundamental.

But what if the baby is supernatural? Or has supernatural powers, but in all other ways is still just like a human infant? This gets tricky. Is this child human+powers or something else entirely? Our good guys seem to think human+powers, but Dagon seemed to think the child would be pure evil, utter destruction, especially with proper support and guidance (“I’ll be there, right by his side, to nurture him, love him, help him to kill … everything.”) Or maybe the suggestion that the baby needs guidance in being evil is actually a crack, maybe it’s not a given.

You, Me, Baby Makes Three (or Family, Family, don’t forget this show is all about Family)

Lucifer mocks Dagon. Apparently they were supposed to be an evil little family once the baby is born, raising up the little hellion together to wreak havoc.

However, the baby seems to be orchestrating an entirely new family unit: Kelly (if she survives or if someone is able to revive her, which seems plausible), Castiel, and baby. This is an obvious parallel. Not sure if Kelly will make it, especially since in the parallel Lucifer is pretty clear he really doesn’t care about Dagon and hadn’t actually intended to come through on his (implied?) promise (surprise, surprise, father of the lie and all that, why does anyone trust him?).

So, getting back to fetal consciousness: How much is the baby really aware of? How is it choosing it’s actions? I personally still default to the basics: feel good/avoid pain, beyond that is all speculation and I’m not seeing a ton of evidence for much more. That baby fucking hated Dagon for upsetting Mommy which upset its peace. 

Baby Power Up #1: Womb brought back to life so baby doesn’t have to leave happy place sooner than necessary, even though baby could probably survive just fine on the outside by now. 

Baby Power Up #2: Kelly has vision of Cas killing Dagon. 

Baby Power Up #3: Cas does indeed kill Dagon; nuisance to baby’s peace managed. AND Cas has mystery vision of the future (So what else needs to happen to keep baby happy/feeling good or help baby avoid pain? I don’t know, maybe wipe out baby-daddy, since he’s part of the “evil family” model that’s upsetting Mommy/womb environment).

Castiel & Kelly

I think Castiel really resonates with Kelly when she tells him about her suicide attempt (or foiled success as the case may be), because it’s something he himself has struggled with. She seems VERY intuitive. Like she is aware of exactly what to do to get his attention. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing (she’s pregnant and motivated to do whatever she needs to). I’m just identifying a gift that she seems to have. I also think she genuinely likes him and feels bad for running out on him in December.

The Pulse: When the baby brought her back it was felt in heaven. This was some major power. I’m assuming it was somewhat like what was felt when the baby was conceived. Like an earthquake rippling through the angelic/heavenly realm and felt by the angels.

Kelly insists that the power that revived her felt, and IS, good. I’m inclined to trust her instincts. Pregnant women are on it. They KNOW things like the true animals that they are. There is nothing more blatantly animal than carrying a child in your womb and it helps you tap into power, intuition, senses, and knowledge you had no idea you had (and then you give birth and it’s like you’re a zombie, going from Radiant Goddess to sluggish wet-nurse with aphasia overnight, but that’s another story). Bottom line, I believe her, whatever brought her back, did it for un-evil reasons (though perhaps selfish/self-involved reasons, because that’s what fetuses and infants are, little balls of need and pure id). Of course I could be wrong, but this is my gut feeling at this time. Castiel, like Dagon, insists that the baby needs Kelly alive, see earlier in this post for why I think this logic is bogus. Kelly responds, “Maybe” to appease him and still maintain her doubt. I’m with her. But then she babbles about some “plan” and no, I don’t think so. This is all chaos. Lucifer is chaos. And God has left the building. There are no plans anymore.

Which brings me to …

Castiel’s Faith: Lost & Found

Cas takes the Plan bait and says Nope. There was a plan, I thought there was a plan, it was all just manipulation, none of it was real, we’re all just winging it, some worse than others (i.e. I suck, I cannot get my shit together, what am I even doing?). And fundamentally I’m on board with his whole little speech here (except his self-deprecation, that guy just really needs a vacation and foot rub, and maybe to do some ayahuasca or get laid or something). But yeah, no big plan, no special roles, she was just there and it just happened. I know this to be so, because this is what the show showed us in the first third of the season. Lucifer was just going crazy and creating chaos to create chaos. Totally off script and rudderless. Then boom: baby; and Lucifer pulls an “I meant to do that!” sort of thing.

Cas has been free floating for a LONG time. Angels are suppose to live in devotion to God and a special purpose and pretty much all of that got blown out of the water for him back in season 4 & 5. Since then he’s tried to make good. Tried to hold shit together. Tried to protect his humans. But often he makes things worse and he’s basically a wreck at this point. Angels need a north star. In Destiel fanfic world, Dean is Castiel’s north star. Like, Cas took his faith and devotion in God and redirected it to Dean. This does help explain some of his behavior over the last few years, but textually I think what we’re seeing in this episode is that that either wasn’t enough, or wasn’t really happening (but something else was, in my opinion, I’m not nuking Destiel here, just the Dean=God/higher-purpose for Cas idea, which is a good thing, bear with me). One last thing: remember he never got his time with God. Lucifer did, but Castiel didn’t. And Cas totally deserved it. You know that trite saying about a “God sized hole” inside of people …

Cas lays out everything the child will need if he is indeed not inherently evil, but rather just a morally neutral, but superpowerful child. Kelly pulls that “feel him kick” move (she’s brilliant, well played); this is pure magic and Cas is beguiled. Kelly gets her vision and now has a clear plan. Cas thinks she’s going along with his plan (which is actually Joshua’s plan, I’m assuming, but whatever). The Winchester’s share their new alternate plan. Meanwhile Kelly’s got her own thing going on and she totally makes it happen. Pregnant women are badass. As I’m writing this I’m realizing my total appreciation for how Kelly was written in this episode. Someone really knows pregnant women.

(When she goes to drive the Impala, I’m thinking “hope she knows she needs to press the gas a bit when she turns the key in the ignition.” Ah, old cars.)

Okay, so in the car they have the talk about faith (her faith in him, him saying don’t have faith in me, broader faith in the plan). Theme:FAITH! In case you missed it. And her “You will,” to his, “I wish I had your faith.” Ack!

Dean is right, “He’s so desperate for a win right now, he can’t see straight.”

Also, it must feel good to have Kelly express such faith in him, even if he thinks she’s totally misguided.

When the power travels from the baby to Kelly to Cas at first his eyes light up blue (normal for him) and then switch to the color of the baby’s power, yellow. This feels significant. Like his Angelness was necessary to activate the level of power needed to take out Dagon. (Later, when asked “What was that?” He replies, “That was me, but it was also *looks at Kelly’s baby belly*” so yeah, it seems both were necessary) Then he calls it a miracle when he halts Dagon, the same word Kelly used to describe being brought to life. The world miracle is inherently religious. This is all part of the “faith” narrative. Then holy fire burns up the bad guy. Very Biblical, yadda yadda yadda.


Remember at the beginning of the episode Dagon calls the baby a God and later makes a reference to Mary/Jesus. Last year God/Chuck took a leave of absence. There’s a God shaped hole in everything now really. So is this baby a new god? The new God? Castiel’s new God? While Cas is also being setup to be that God’s father figure? Wait, is Cas Joseph? This is some weird, convoluted shit. And I like it; because complexity is my jam. As is subversion of all thing Biblical and/or Christian. (Does that make the Impala the donkey? * snort-laugh * ignore me, I’m an idiot)


“I’ve been so lost. Not lost anymore. And I know now that this child must be born with all his power … I have faith.” * insert ominous “dun-dun-duunnn” music here * Cas is calm, clear, has back some of his earlier-in-the-series coolness. This freaked me the fuck out. I came away from this episode really, really, really unsettled and worried out of my mind. Though after doing all this analysis and 3 rewatches, I’m feeling a bit more optimistic. I probably shouldn’t be, but I’m really good at bullshitting and I seem to have bullshitted myself right into optimism. Well done, Rachie.


Initially I was worried that Cas had been totally hijacked and the baby probably really is evil or is at least going to lead to “very bad things.” Now I’m not so sure. But I’m still worried he’s been hijacked and that this means irreparable damage to the his relationship with the Winchesters, and of course in particular to Dean, because whether you ship Destiel or not it’s clear that his primary relationship is with Dean and that Dean is the most effected by Castiel’s various shenanigans (watch the fucking camera and their faces; I really don’t know what else to say … are you blind or willfully ignorant? And again, I’m not insisting Destiel, but just that there is something inherently different and “more” about Dean & Castiel’s relationship, than Sam & Castiel’s. Though maybe that’s just because Dean has become the emotional center of this show and Jensen has skills that go way, way beyond what you expect from an actor on this sort of show).


This season feels like a sneak attack. There have been ups and downs and hints of bad shit to come, but nothing has really felt particularly high stakes. The guys go to secret prison, but they’re the stars, so we know nothing terrible will come of it. They make and then break a bad deal with a reaper, but then there is no clarity about what the repercussions will be, so we don’t worry about that much now. But this. Messing in deep fundamental ways with the second most important relationship within the show (after Sam & Dean), feels really scary to me and I welcome the shock, surprise, worry, because: about time and well done. But please, please, don’t let this be horribly terrible in the end. Don’t shatter this forever. Let this be the deep dark before the bright light.


Okay, last thing, for fellow Destiel shippers, remember earlier when I said it’s a good thing IF Castiel does not in fact make Dean his North Star and finds something else to believe in? Because that’s fucking unhealthy in a real relationship. So, if he can find purpose that isn’t all hyper-focused on one person, while still maintaining a mature, deep, loving relationship with that other person, then THAT’S GOOD. But who am I kidding? These guys be healthy? Destiel be canon? Hahahahaha *laugh hysterically and runs wildly into the night* *whispers: “keep hope alive.”*

vegetalover12  asked:

Please continue lilo and stich Au please please 🙏

Of course! It’s been so long I hope you enjoy it! I really liked writing this and I hope you like it!

read the last one here! https://tomco-headcannons.tumblr.com/post/158641625047/fixed-lilo-and-stitch-au-part-two


“Well here’s home.” Marco opened the door and the creature bit it’s feet. Tom rolled into a ball and started tumbling all around the living room. He then jumped up and clawed a pillow to shreds. “Hey! Cut that out!” Marco exclaimed. He pulled the creature away and the alien hissed, yanking from Marco. “Stop that! Ughh! Why did I bring a monster in my house!?” Marco cried and tugged at his hair.

Tom kept hissing and clawing at the wallpaper with his four arms. He had spikes on his back and horns on his head. Marco shook his head and grabbed the alien from under the top set of arms. “What was I thinking!? I can’t keep you here! I have enough issues as it is!” Marco yelled, trying to yank Tom out the door. “You gotta go.”

Marco shoved the creature outside and slammed the door. It was quiet for a moment so Marco opened the door and saw his sitting on the front porch with his ears dropped and three big shiny eyes. “Oh come on.” Marco tried. Tears welled up in the alien’s eyes and Marco shook his head. “No. Stop that now.” Marco demanded. Tommade a whimper and the human groaned. “What if somebody sees you? I can have an alien in my house!” He exclaimed.

At hearing that Tom’s ear perked up and he sat up. He seemed to retract his second set of arms, he did the same thing with the spikes in his back and then his horns. Tom then closed his eyes and his skin faded to a light brown.

“Woah…” Marco mused. His eyes widened and Tom perked up, leaning forward. “I-I… I can’t give you a home… I don’t know what I was thinking bringing you in but… I have my own family to worry about.” Marco was about to close the door again, but he stopped when he heard the alien repeat the phrase back again.

“Ffffff…ffffami..ffaaammilee…” The alien tried to formed words and Marco stared at him for a while. He had found him on earth and brought him home, and now he was kicking him out? Marco sighed and shook his head.

“Come on in.” He moved aside and the alien darted in the house.

——————————————————————————————————————————–

“What is that idiot doing!?” Janna cried, looking at the house through the binoculars. “What moron would bring experiment 626 into his house! My experiment would destroy the place! Not to mention kill any humans who stand in his way.” She laughed diabolically.

‘Kill!? HUMAN!?!” Star scrambled to her feet. “We need to get that monster out of there before he hurts that dear sweet human creature.” She declared. “Humans are fragile! He won’t be able to survive is 626 goes beserk in there!” Star was near tears. “We need to get him!” She cried.

“I agree… let’s bomb the house.” Janna opted. She raised up a glowing green alien tech bomb. Star jumped on her heels excited to see destruction, but stopped herself.

“Wait a minute! We can’t do that! We might harm the human!” She reminded. “And not only is that against my code as an Earth expert… but we could both get FIRED!” She cried, grabbing Janna’s hair.

Janna grumbled and ran her fingers through her hair. “So as long as he;s with that human, we can’t touch him?” She asked. Star nodded. “Oh that diabolical little creatin! Using that human boy as a shield! THIS IS LOW EVEN FOR YOU!” She yelled to the house, hoping her experiment could hear her.

Inside the house Tom’s ear perked up and he heard Janna’s distressed cry, snickering that his plan was working. Marco offered his a safe heaven. Tom looked up when Marco made a move to leave the house and the alien scrambled to follow. As soon as Tom was outside, waiting for Marco, Janna aimed the plasma gun.

“I can hit him from here without hurting the human.” She told Star. Star watched carefully as Janna was about to shoot the gun. Before she could shoot Tom made a whining noise.

“What is it?” Marco asked, stepping outside in front of Tom.

“DON’T SHOOT!” Star cried, grabbing the gun. The ray missed and hit a tree. Tom snickered again and stuck his tongue out at the two other aliens.

“AHHH! Do you see that! He’s mocking me!” Janna screamed. “You can keep hiding behind that human, 626! I’ll be waiting!” She began to laugh.

“Waiting?” Star asked.

“626 is an unstoppable destruction machine! He was designed for evil, terror and war! He can’t conform to a human’s way of life.” Janna explained. “He’ll be irresistibly drawn to large cities. Where he will back up sewers, reverse stop signs, and steal everybody’s left shoe.”

——————————————————————————————————————————–

“Tom! Show down where are you going!” Marco called. Tom darted off to the side of the island only to find… water. Tom groaned and turned around, running faster in the other direction. Only once again to be greeted with the large body of water called the ocean. He grumbled and kicked the sand, and waited for Marco to catch up to him.

“Yeah… it’s nice living on an island with no large cities.” Marco spoke wistfully. Tom choked on nothing and fell to the ground, groaning. “Are you okay?” Marco asked. Tom just mumbled into the sand and looked up. A wave came his way and he hissed, backing away as fast as he could. Marco giggled a bit. “It’s just water.” He smiled.

“Idiot human.” Janna scoffed from the rock she was watching them in. “626 was made from fire and lava, he can’t survive in water.” She scoffed. “No way would he go near the stuff.” She finished.

“Here, let me show you.” Marco held his hand out and Tom took it tentatively. “See? It’s not so bad.” Marco cooed, dipping just the tips of the alien’s fingers in the cold ocean. Tom was about to pull away, but stopped, letting Marco show him the water. It hurt but, he was touching it so slightly that it felt okay.

“Why is 626 letting that human get him near water? And why is he letting him take his hand?” Janna asked in shock.

“What’s so odd about that?” Star asked.

“Well I designed him to be a war machine. A touch could set him off! But here he is acting so… docile. And letting himself be exposed to his weakness… it’s almost as if he trusts this human.” She looked through the binoculars and saw Tom tug Marco’s shirt, he handed him his other hand, signaling he wanted to touch the water with that one too. Marco smiled and took the alien’s other hand, dipping the tips of his fingers in the water and smiling at him. Tom felt himself relax and he watched the fish swim around. And when Tom made a move that he wanted to take his hands out of the water, Marco did so and dried them off with his hoodie.

“See? Not so bad, right?” Marco asked. Tom looked up at Marco with big eyes.

“Nnn… nnnot… baad.” Tom tried. “Nnnot not bad.” He looked up at Marco.

Not bad.

Undo

Fandom/Pairing: Elsword; none
Rating: T
Word Count: 5,247            

Summary:  Diabolic Esper has caused serious damage when he changed Mastermind’s past.  Lunatic Psyker searches for his alternative selves, unaware of Glave’s intentions.  Sequel to Apocalypse, Part VII for the Seal of Time Series.  Can be read as standalone.

~[Part I] [Part II] [Part III] [Part IV] [Part V] [Part VI] [You Are Here] [Part VIII]

Keep reading

On a Sunday night in October 2013, operations at Los Angeles International Airport were suspended in the tense uncertainty caused by an explosion in an employee restroom. The next night, all airport activities were once more brought to a standstill by explosive devices, this time positioned near terminals and, according to some, possibly near airplanes. People seated for takeoff must have been scared shitless by news of the apparent attack – the people seated in the bathroom even more so.

This booming mayhem wasn’t the work of some diabolical terrorist cackling in the darkness, but rather the harebrained antics of a jackass with a few bottles and enough dry ice to make them go boom in a very loud if not particularly destructive way (no, we’re not going to tell you how to make a dry ice bomb – you’ll have to go look it up yourself).

Who would do something so irresponsibly buffoonish in the post-9/11 era? Baggage handler Dicarlo Bennett, that’s who. Good old Dicarlo decided it would be a good idea to snag some dry ice that was being used to refrigerate food on a plane and use it to simulate a terrorist act. “Why?” you ask? Well, why not?

6 Shockingly Childish Abuses of Power by Airport Employees