We spend so much of our 20’s looking for the one. We are stuck at that age where half of our friends are engaged or married, some with children; the other half is drunk off their ass 90% of the time and never made it past their second semester of college. We find this compelling need to compare ourselves to everyone around us, “oh at least I’m doing better than her,” and “fuck. She’s about to be a doctor and I am not sure what I want to be.” We have to swipe left endlessly looking for what we want.
I’ll tell you what you want, it’s to be happy.
Happy is not the same for you as it is for the girl who sat next to you every day during 3rd period.
And for me? Happy is making sure I get to see the world while I’m young, experiencing different parts of our country before I pick and place and settle down. If I’m going to dig my roots so far into the nutrient rich ground I want to make DAMN sure it’s the right kinda soil to make me grow. At some point I woke up and realized I’m living life for myself and not others. I welcome their criticism but learned to filter out when it was helpful versus unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with getting on a plane to anywhere or long road trips or moving around to figure yourself out. Cause let me tell you, I was looking for the one, and I found her. It’s me. I’m the one. But when I find someone else who can be my plus one to everything I’ve already given myself, I’ll be ready because I won’t expect them to give me all the love in the world. To always pick me up when I fall. I will not rely heavily on them because i know I’ve already done it for myself and deeply rooted myself in those capabilities. Whoever comes along will hopefully have done that for themselves and instead of 2 trees in a yard we can create a jungle that radiates so much life everything comes to live within us. You see I was born a queen with a throne, now I’m learning to make an empire.
And for you? I hope you find whatever your happiness is to be able to do the same. To be a source of life.