you are so beautiful marry me

anonymous asked:

But imagine a happily married Lexa with a beautiful bouncing chubbmonster Alex and one day she wakes up and she's back in HS still with Costia and Clarke still hating her. That would make for a wild story.

She’d be sooooo frustrated lmao she’d dump costia so quick and corner Clarke and just be like “let’s set the record straight I love you and you’re everything to me and eventually we’re going to be married and have a beautiful baby girl” and Clarke’s just like 😦

Diary of a Niqabi:

“Oh.. I thought niqabis were prostitutes.”

Um… is that a compliment? Should I say thank you?

“OMG! you’re actually really pretty! No wonder you’re wearing it”

The level of my ‘beauty’ has nothing to do with my choice to wear it. Thank you.

“Um, you aren’t actually that pretty, ya know. I mean you are, but not pretty enough for niqab.”

Please go talk with the person above and reach a decision on my ‘beauty and how it reasons my decision on wearing niqab’

“How are you going to get married?”

I’ll wink 3 times at the guy. There. That’s your sign.

“So like, are you going to get married without him seeing your face?”

Yuppp, that’s the plan. Imma get hitched and then “surprise babe!” wtcha think?

And if he isn’t into me, we’ll just get a divorce, it’s cool.

“How do you eat with that?”

Slide to the side, food in, slide back, munch and repeat.

“OMG! how do you wear that? It’s so hot!”

Yeah, love. Jahanam is hotter tho, so..

“OMG! You’re so lucky! It’s so cold, I bet this keeps your face warm”

Mhm, I got my own customized glove for my face, thank you.

“Can’t you, like, at least put on some eyeliner?

Um, like, that’s totally against what niqab is about?

“I mean, thank god you’re all covered up and stuff, you would’ve stolen some hearts. Haha, we wouldn’t have gotten any attention.“

Haha, indeed.

“I’m so sorry! Are your parents forcing this on you? Are they oppressing you to wear it?”

I was the one who did all the ‘oppressing’, don’t worry about me fam

“This outfit doesn’t show your figure at all.”

Yupp, it took me blood and tears to find it. Thank you.

“Um, where is your front from your back?”

Dude! Omg thank youu!

Mission: accomplished

Hi, everyone!

I’m making this post to let you know that I won’t be online this weekend!! The reason being is because you all remember my friend Jessica, right? The one in the car accident? Well she’s recovered from her accident and is getting married THIS SATURDAY!! ^_^ The wedding would’ve been a couple of weeks back but it got pushed to Saturday in order for her to heal all her injuries and broken bones. 

And so I won’t be online until next week thus meaning there’ll be no posts from me this weekend. Hopefully, you all won’t be too lonely without me! ;D

Until Tuesday, I hope you all stay classy and stay beautiful! ^_^

Originally posted by gardenofelegance

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

Keep reading

astrology disney
  • Aries: "I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy." - Mulan
  • Taurus: "“You said you’d never leave.” - Beauty and the Beast
  • Gemini: "“I wonder if I've been changed in the night. Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!”
  • -Alice in Wonderland
  • Cancer: "“Man has always learned from the past. After all, you can’t learn history in reverse!” – Archimedes, The Sword in the Stone
  • Leo: "So this is love, So this is what makes life divine." - Cinderella
  • Virgo: ""Always let your conscience be your guide." - The Blue Fairy (Pinocchio)
  • Libra: "“Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them.” – The AristoCats
  • Scorpio: ": So you want me to throw her into the asylum, unless she agrees to marry you? Oh that is despicable (Laughs evilly) I LOVE IT!" - Beauty & The Beast
  • Sagittarius: " "You control your destiny - you don't need magic to do it. And there are no magical shortcuts to solving your problems." - Merida (Brave)
  • Capricorn: ""Even miracles take a little time." - Fairy Godmother
  • Aquarius: ""Listen to me. The human world is a mess." - The Little Mermaid
  • Pisces: "You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you… That’s where I’ll be waiting." - Peter Pan

Harry: *regaining consciousness after a minor Healing procedure* What’s goi– *sees Draco sitting next to him* 

Draco: Hello, there.

Harry: *awed whisper* Oh my god. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

Draco: *flatly* Is that right?

Harry: *still gaping stupidly* Are you a Veela? 

Draco: No, Harry.

Harry: *gasps* You know my name?!

Draco: Oh, I know a whole lot more than your name.

Harry: *delighted* We know each other?!

Draco: *holds up hand* We’re married, love. *points out Harry’s matching ring*

Harry: *gasps at own hand* Wh–?! *drugged flailing*

(Insp.)

My sister sent me a short response to a prompt she was given to write about privilege and it’s beautiful and important so I wanted to share it with you all: 

“It wasn’t until my older sister admitted to me that she had always felt a smudge of jealousy of my role in our family that I realized I was privileged…privileged compared to my very own sister. And by “role in my family” I mean that my sister perceived me to be the perfect traditional daughter who would someday be married to a man and have biological children and make my parents happy grandparents. 

You see, my older sister is gay, or “lesbian”, to use proper terminology. And while my parent’s completely accept her for who she is and love her and I just the same, I understand that this ‘traditional’ path will always be much easier than hers. That isn’t her fault and it isn’t mine – it’s just the privilege I was born into. In today’s society being gay or lesbian is becoming less of a controversial issue, but people who identify with these sexual orientations still face everyday challenges in regards to embracing the person they love – something I never had to face in my life.

Because I am straight, I have the privilege of walking down the street, holding my lover’s hand without receiving long stares or multiple double-takes. I have the privilege of comfortably telling people about my boyfriend when they ask me if I am dating anyone, instead of having to “come out” over and over again. I have the privilege of being friends with multiple girls, and those girls never assuming me being nice or being a good friend is me trying to come onto them. I have the privilege of posting a picture of myself kissing my significant other without being over-sexualized by men. I have the privilege of never having to fight to have the right to marry the person I love. I have so many privileges associated with being straight, that it’s easy to overlook how much courage it takes to embrace identifying as anything different. But, because I have recognized my privilege, it has only made me admire my sister even more for her strength. For her ability to overcome those everyday challenges and full-heatedly be proud of the person - of the lesbian - that she is. She has truly inspired me to embrace and love everything that I am - and everything that I am not.” 

Tom Holland | Marry Me?

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Request: hi love! could you possibly do an imagine about tom proposing to you, but like can you try and make it different from the usual proposal? thank you! (send in requests)

Summary: Tom struggles to find the perfect moment to pop the question. 

Warnings: Deadass the most fluff I’ve ever written in my life

Word Count: 1.4K


Tom had been planning out your proposal for much longer than he’d care to admit to anyone, except maybe his mum; in fact, she was the first person to know about his future plans. It was right after the two of you had visited his parents home and Tom saw how well you had managed to fit into his family.  

He watched you laughing heartily with his brothers and talking avidly with his mother and he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face as he leant against the kitchen doorway. Only one thought was running through his mind as he stared at you; I am a goner and when you glanced at him, a smile completely lighting up your face, he couldn’t help but fall in love with you all over again.

Keep reading

  • Sirius: Holy shit you're so beautiful, will you marry me?
  • Remus: We've literally been married for 6 years, please stop doing this.
married part 4- h.s imagine

part 1

part 2 

part 3 

Harry sighed as he walked into his apartment. The last place he wanted to be at right now was his home. In reality, he wish he never walked out of your apartment. You were right. Your world didn’t revolve around him. He should’ve realized that he wasn’t the center of your universe. He should’ve let you tell him all about your date. “I’ll just talk to her in the morning,” he thought while he started to walk to his and Kimberly’s room.

“Where’d you go?” a voice called out. Harry halted mid-step. He turned around to see Kimberly sitting in the living room, her arms crossed over her chest. Harry bit his bottom lip, beginning to walk towards her. “I went to Y/N’s. Listen baby, I’m sorry I said-”

“You were with Y/N?” Kimberly asked, her voice laced with bitterness. Harry’s eyebrows quickly furrowed together as he sat down on the spot next to her. Kimberly was quick to move away, beginning to pace around. “I always go to her when I need to talk to someone.” Harry added, suddenly feeling the need to explain himself.

Kimberly quickly turned around to face Harry. “I’m your wife, Harry! Don’t you think you should be talking to me whenever you have a problem?” Harry’s cheeks immediately heated up,looking down at his fidgeting fingers, “We got into a fight. I just wanted Y/N’s opinion.”

Kimberly let out what was mixed between a scoff and a laugh. “As if we can trust her opinion.” Harry quickly stood up, feeling like he needed to stick up for his best friend. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Kimberly eyes widened, her head shaking, “How could you be so oblivious, Harry! The girl is in love with you!”

Harry quickly shook his head, “She’s my best friend, Kimberly! How could you accuse her of something like that!”

Kimberly crossed her arms once more before she sat back down on the couch. “I’m supposed to be your best friend.” She shook her head as she stared at the ground. “I notice the way she looks at you. She looks at you like it’s just you two in the room. She listens to every word you say. She puts your needs before hers! Everyone sees it! Everyone but you!” Harry remained silent as he sat down next to Kimberly, his palms beginning to sweat.

“Didn’t you notice how sad she was at the wedding?” Kimberly whispered as she placed her hand on top of Harry’s. Harry closed his eyes. “No…no. I’m her best friend. She was just happy for me. They were happy tears.”

Kimberly sat further into the couch. “Harry, they were tears because the guy she was in love with was marrying someone else.”


You were sitting in your kitchen. A cup of tea in front of you that was now cold. You sighed as you heard a knock on your door. You wiped a tear that fell from frustration from your fight with Harry. When you opened the door, there stood Harry at your doorstep for the second time tonight. Harry was giving you a look that sent shivers down your spine. He let himself into your apartment. You closed the door behind him, “Listen Harry, I’m sorry for-”

Harry spun around to face you, his breathing becoming harder and harsher. “Are you in love with me?”

Your eyes widened. Your secret that you kept for years was finally out. Your eyes quickly scanned Harry’s, trying to get some sense of how he was feeling. When you didn’t answer Harry, he immediately knew what your answer was. He ran his hand over his face as he took a deep breath. “How long?”

You suddenly felt so small. Your arms crossed, as if they were trying to protect yourself. You never wanted Harry to find out. You thought if he ever did find out, the two of you would be old and gray’ you would have a husband and the thought of once being in love with Harry would seem funny. Now, you felt nothing but shame for ever growing feelings for your best friend.

You took a deep breath, your eyes threatening to spill out tears. “Since we were 18,” you whispered. Now it was time for Harry to gasp. “18!” He repeated, his hand slamming down on the counter. You visibly winced, you closed your eyes as your arms tightened around your body.

“5 years! You’ve been in love with me for 5 years!” Harry shouted. He began to pace around your living room, pulling on his hair out of frustration. Harry looked back at you, his eyes softening at your trembling body as you cried. “Why didn’t you tell me,” Harry whispered so softly that you almost didn’t hear. You looked up at the ceiling, tears falling from your face, “I didn’t want to ruin what we had Harry! Our friendship…it was so beautiful! So…real! I was afraid that if I told you or if you somehow you found out, it would ruin everything.”

Harry looked down, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears. He looked up at you and took a deep breath, “You should’ve told me, Y/N. If you told me…things would’ve been different.” You let out a quiet scoff as you stared at the ground. Harry came closer to you. He placed his hand on your cheek, causing you to look up at him. Harry leant his forehead against yours, “I’ve been in love with you all my life.”

You let out a small gasp before Harry continued, “I’ve been in love with you…for so long, Y/N. But I knew someone like you would never be in love with someone like me.” Harry opened his eyes as he grabbed your hands. “You’re so..beautiful. You’re so compassionate and kind to the world. How could I not fall in love with you?” Harry chuckled through his tears. You looked into Harry’s eyes that were filled with nothing but sadness.

“If I knew that you loved me…I would be married to you right now.” Harry whispered. You let out a sob as you rested your head against Harry’s chest. Harry wrapped his arms around you as he looked up, trying to stop crying. “But I’m with Kimberly. And I fell in love with her too.”

You nodded your head as you buried your face more into Harry’s chest. For what felt like an eternity, the two of you held on to each other as if this was the last time you guys would be seeing each other.


Niall let himself into your apartment. He placed his bag down as he quietly made his way into your bedroom. He sighed as he saw the plate of food he left out for you remained untouched. As he came closer to your bed, he noticed the tear stains on your face as you were asleep. He sighed, feeling the same sympathy he did for you when Harry got married. Niall grabbed a blanket you kept on your bed and placed it over you before he left your room.

When Harry left your apartment that night, you immediately called Niall and struggled to tell him what happened between your sobs. Niall tried assuring you that everything would be okay. He tried telling you that this was just a bump; that somehow you and Harry would get past this. But it’s been two weeks and Harry hasn’t tried contacting you since.

Niall was sitting on the couch in you living room when you finally came out of your room. You sat down on the spot next to him, bringing your knees up to your chest. Niall placed his phone down. “I brought some food.” He said as he nodded towards the bag on the counter. You were staring at the wall in front of you. You let out a quiet “thanks.”

Niall bit his bottom lip, trying to think of what to say. He glanced at his phone and smiled. “Your birthday’s tomorrow. That’s exciting isn’t it?”

You shrugged your shoulders. Niall sighed, “Would you like to do anything? I can clear my schedule. Maybe we can go to-”

“I don’t really want to do anything. Thank you though, Niall.” You said quietly. Niall nodded his head as he scooted further into the couch.

Eventually Niall left. He placed a kiss on your head and a promise that he’ll be back tomorrow. Your eyes shifted to the clock on the wall. 11:34PM

With the time ticking closer and closer to 12, you could feel your anxiety bouncing off the walls. Harry has never missed the tradition of coming to your place for your birthday with a home made cake. Surely he wouldn’t miss it because of what happened.

Right?

You looked at the clock again. 12PM. It was officially your birthday. You stared at the door, hoping that Harry would burst in. Your eyes began to water when you realized it wasn’t going to happen. Tears began to fall off your face as your tradition was broken. You placed your head into your hands. Of course he wasn’t coming. Just because he knew you loved him, he wasn’t going to leave his wife for you. You were his past, Kimberly was his present. Stupid girl you thought.


Harry glanced at the time on his phone. He sighed as he looked at the cake he made earlier in front of him. He grabbed the cake and threw it into the trash can before he went back to bed.


i have never been so excited to write this! thank you guys so much for the constant love for married! it means the absolute world that you guys like it! i love hearing from you guys! let me know what you thought!

you can find the rest of my writing here

you can find part 5 here

Romance in the Dark Ages

DM: One of the guys sits down next to you and says, “Hey! You are beautiful! Would you like to get married?“ 

DM: (explaining to us) Hey, they got married before they did anything in those days.

Me: I’m going to flirt with him.

DM: Alright, roll to flirt.

Me, one success later, mustering all the medieval suavity I can: So, how many cows are you willing to pay my father~?

anonymous asked:

Oooh! Oooh! Top ten reactions from other skaters regarding victuuri confirmation 😂

Top Ten Reactions From Other Skaters Regarding the Viktuuri Confirmation

10) Cao Bin - “I’m away for ONE SEASON and look what happens”

9) Mickey - “I guess Katsuki didn’t actually want to date my sister that one time he asked about her in the restaurant and also that would explain a lot about how Katsuki and Nikiforov were acting during that meal”

8) Seung Gil - “ I don’t care”

7) Georgi - “IT’S TRUE LOVE AND IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL.” Also “ANYA WHY CAN YOU NOT LOVE ME LIKE THAT”

6) Mila - *eating popcorn while watching the drama unfold and wolf-whistling*

5) Otabek - *thumbs up*

4) JJ - “YES WHAT THEY DID WAS AWESOME BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS MORE AWESOME?” ME! Also “THEY MIGHT HAVE WON THIS YEAR BUT NEXT YEAR I’LL WIN GOLD AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE THE BETTER SKATING LOVE STORY”

3) Yurio - “I worked so hard to get you two together so I didn’t have to listen to Viktor’s whining anymore but if you don’t stop making out on the podium while I’m on it too I will kick you off with my ice skates on I SWEAR TO GOD”

2) Chris - “YES, GET IT VIKTOR”

1) Phichit - “YES, GET IT YUURI”

wow i cant believe when Even saw Isak that first day at school he was like- nothing he had ever seen before. Just this burst of fresh and air and he knew right then that he was important. And then we got to know Isak, he was blown away by how unique Isak was as a person. So beautiful and that was it– it was it. Even had never met anyone like Isak and this was going to be the boy he married someday. Wow.

Damen/Laurent Rec List

Because @playingfetchwithdinosaurs was finally seduced into reading this amazing series and then she came to me because she needed more. Also, coincidentally, @notagoodplace4gods finished yesterday CP, but told me only today that she was freaking out over their love and she needed more so here I am giving more to them ;)

💖: my absolutely favorite stories about those Kings

Canon AU

In the Gardens by JustDrinkTea 2,101

“I doubt your disappearance would go unnoticed,” Laurent countered, head tilting slightly. He was teasing. Damen couldn’t get enough of it.

“Is that an excuse to not go?”

“It’s a challenge.”

💖 Sent Away by Josselin [Part 1 of Sent Away] 2,504

A series of vignettes of young Laurent’s life when he is sent to be fostered in the Akielon court.

Courtship by songofthe52hertzwhale 5,425

Damen just wants to court Laurent. Nobody in Vere makes it easy for him, least of all the man he hopes to marry.

💖 Dear Aledosia, by wendlaa 12,368

“Oh,” Laurent finds himself saying. Damianos has excused himself from his conversation, and has begun to make his way through the crowd. Here stand the Princes of Vere, after all. The ethereal Veretian Prince brothers. Laurent lifts his eyes towards the ceiling, arching his brows. “Heavens,” he says, voice tight.

Auguste chuckles. “You have a minute head start.”

Laurent ducks away.

Keep reading

  • Bellarke: Have a heartfelt conversation; are about to confess their feelings for eachother.
  • Snowbarry: Are always there for eachother, It's demostrated that Barry is Caitlin's anchor.
  • Olicity: Finally get together, and they get engaged.
  • Scallison: Are planning a future together.
  • Stydia: Lydia finally realizes she loves Stiles.
  • Malec: Alec finally embraces his sexuality and they become a couple.
  • Lucaya: They realize they have feelings for eachother, and start dating.
  • Karamel: They finally get together.
  • Shaleb: They care about eachother and are finally starting to behave like a formal couple + They say I love you to eachother.
  • Ezria: Get together again, get engaged.
  • Frary: Francis finally starts accepting he has feelings for Mary, they become a couple and they marry.
  • Clace: Finally admit their feelings for eachother + kiss multiple times.
  • Delena: Finally get together
  • Steroline: Are going to get married.
  • Me: OMG after all this time, maybe they all have a chance to truly be happy together.
  • *5 minutes later*
  • Bellarke: Gets separated for 6 years and 7 days + they both believe the other one died.
  • Snowbarry: Caitlin gets hurt because of Barry + Westallen gets engaged.
  • Olicity: Oliver lies to Felicity, she finds out, they break off their engagement + Felicity gets a new boyfriend.
  • Scallison: They break up, and Allison dies.
  • Stydia: Stiles disappears from the phase of earth.
  • Malec: They start having too many complications in their relationship.
  • Lucaya: Maya gets a bullshit storyline of an "identity crisis" + she steps back once again for Riley's happiness and Lucas chooses Riley.
  • Karamel: Mon-el hides the truth from Kara, she finds out, and they break up.
  • Shaleb: Caleb fucked up once, they break up, and Shelby starts an affair with Caleb's dad.
  • Ezria: Nicole gets back and gives them trouble in their relationship, Aria starts working with A to protect Ezra but still this creates distance between them, in their wedding day A freaking kidnaps Ezra and makes it seem like he abandoned her and didn't want to marry her.
  • Frary: Because of Francis decisions they break up, Mary starts having an affair with Conde, they get back together, but Francis dies.
  • Clace: Valentine makes Clary and Jace believe they are siblings, she starts a relationship with Simon.
  • Delena: They break up + Elena is the new replacement of sleeping beauty.
  • Steroline: They marry, but one day after the wedding, Stefan dies.
  • All the writers: HAHAHAH bitch you thought.
  • Me: *dies*.
drunk peter headcanons

tags : @parkerroos @spideyyss @peterletmebeanavengerparker @grant-valdes-holland @ladysnowren @marvelsdaughter @underoosie @sunrisehunny @tomhollandisthicc @quacksoff @lil-spidey @captainswriting @jor-da-na

for the wild ass spiderjizz gals bc our gc was full of sad headcanons and we need to stop being SAD

author’s note : don’t yell at me and say peter is too young 15 year olds get drunk and do a lot of shit they shouldn’t be doing trust me k cool enJOY

  • ok so if u don’t think peter is a lil lightweight u would be wrong sir
  • he becomes about fifty times clumsier than he already is
    • “GET OFF THE TABLE YOU’RE GONNA GET HURT OH MY-”
    • “OWWWWWW”
    • “I TOLD YOU YOU’D GET HURT YOU DUMMY”
    • “y/n y/n y/n i hurt my fooooot kiss it better”
    • “peter benjamin parker get your foot out of my face and away from my mouth or so help me gOD”
  • you refuse to drink with him bc peter alone is like watching over an awfully curious child but peter drunk is like trying to keep track of a two year old with the attention span of squirrel
  • so you’re watching over this ridiculous idiot 
  • and he is the clingiest baby ever
    • “ummmm y/n baby baby baby you’re so far away from meeee” cue pouty face and outstretched grabby hands as he reaches for you even though you’re only a little bit away in front of the tv trying to put on a movie
    • “i’m two feet away peter”
    • “TWO FEET IS TOO FAR”
    • “oh my gosh you are so drunk my friend”
    • “did you just friend zone me” and then he tears up a little and you spend the next twenty minutes trying to convince him that he’s not just a friend
  • he is completely ridiculous but it’s fine he’s adorable
  • also he is always yelling
  • for no reason
  • he just yells everything when he’s drunk apparently?????
    • “Y/N Y/N Y/N DID YOU SEEEEE THIS”
    • “yes peter i know what a cookie looks like you donut”
    • “donut i love doNUTS”
    • “askfgsjfg peter no
    • “PETER YES”
    • “STOP YELLING
  • then he can’t stop laughing and he laughs for ten minutes and then he gets tired and stretches out across your lap like a sleepy angel/cat
  • he’s a very ramble-y drunk too and he doesn’t know what he’s saying half the time
    • “y/n i’ve got a suuuuuuper big thing i gotta tell you i gotta tell you it like right noooowwwwww okay”
    • “okay peter baby what is it”
    • “i love youuuuuuuuu did you know that i love you because i do me peter loves you y/n and i wanna maybe marry you and have babies with you like reallyyyyyyyy cute ones bUT don’t tell you”
    • “peter what”
    • “don’t tell yourself!!!!” and this nerd says it so matter-of-factly with a smartly placed smirk on his mouth as he stares up at you with big brown doe eyes that all you can do is sigh and shake your head 
    • “okay i won’t tell myself”
    • “oh gOOD BECAUSE I WANNA TELL YOU AGAIN FOR REAL WHEN I DON’T FEEL SO LOOOOOOOOOPY”
    • “peter the yelling”
  • he keeps trying to sing and usually he’s pretty good (that’s a whole different imagine) but he sounds like he’s scalping a cat as he tries to serenade you
  • he curls up against you because clingy an grabs your hands and holds them to his face and randomly claps them against his cheeks it’s weird he’s weird
    • “what are you doing”
    • “i’m singing the friends theme in my head shhhh you’re ruining my vibE babe”
    • “RUDE you’re a mean drunk”
  • but then he gets really kissy and just wants to love on you repeatedly
    • he starts by kissing your hands and your wrists really daintily 
    • then it BECOMES NOT SO DAINTY
    • and suddenly this former nerd is kissing up your collarbones and really slowly kissing your neck and then he bites you but he’s trying to give you a hickey but it’s not working he’s just biting incessantly 
    • “peter you can be sexy in the morning you’re just acting like damon salvatore at this point”
    • cue his sad face “why won’t you love me back”
    • “you’re drunk and it’s like taking advantage of you so we can do this another night okay?”
    • “uuuuuugggghhhhhh now i’m sad”
  • you roll your eyes and wrap your arms around him anyway and he smiles up at you all lovingly with little crinkles by his eyes and dimples by the corners of his mouth and he’s clearly not sad anymore he’s just needy 
    • “can you - can you pet my hair baby love”
    • “yeah pete of course”
  • and now he’s sleepy but he’s still curled up in your lap like some sort of kitten nd his eyes keep opening and closing but he has a really firm grip on your hand and refuses to let go ever
    • “y/n y/n y/n i love you”
    • “i know peter”
    • “shhhh no you don’t you don’t understand”
    • “peter-”
    • “no no like i really really love you and if i don’t marry you i’m gonna die like die die like deaD 
  • and then he rolls over and puts your hand against his cheek again and passes the fuck out with his mouth still slightly open and he’s lowkey drooling and it’s kinda gross but you can’t move bc there’s a huge boy laying on top of you and??????
  • he’s heavier than he looks?????
  • boy hides his riPPED AS BODY UNDERNEATH THOSE SWEATERS 
  • BUT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH 
  • and the truth is that he’s heavy as fuck and he’s crushing you but you can’t move him bc???/ the cuteness is too much and he was highkey wasted and he needs some sleep
  • he wakes up in the morning with a killer headache and he kinda wants to die because ow his foot hurts and his brain feels like it is pounding against his skull with tiny little Thor hammers
  • but he sees that you’re sleeping and he feels bad bc he’s been splayed out on top of you all night drooling on your knee???
    • “ugh that’s disgusting”
    • “peter i know my face in the morning is scary but-”
    • “NO NO MY LOVE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL I MEANT THE DROOL”
    • “oh god why did i yell my head hurts so bad ughgsgk”
  • he takes 3 advil tablets and asks if he did anything stupid last night
  • you tell him no, that he was just pretty adorable to spare him the pain 
  • later on you’ll tell him that he said if he doesn’t get to marry you he’ll die
    • “well they do say that drunks are the most honest people”
    • “PETER YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THST”
    • “i’m peter and i wanna marry you or else i’ll die”
    • “you make me so upset”
    • “why”
    • “BECAUSE YOU’RE SO CUTE
    • “shhhhhhhhh”
  • drunk peter is a sweet peter but all peters are good !!!
  • lol
  • goodbyE i miss peter and i’ve never even had him to begin with