I stumble upon you. The planets are aligned perfectly; the horizons are vast, but I’m so close to something massive that shines brighter than a supernova, someone wonderful and heavenly, like an angel in the flesh. Standing on edge of the bridge, I lay my head on your shoulder – flushed cheeks, tongue tied. Our souls merge and all I can think of is this love, pure and bona fide, that no storm or hurricane can vanquish. My sanctuary and comfort, I know It’s you, it will always be you.
You can find the other parts of this story and my Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Negan head back to the Sanctuary and he
makes you some Christmas dinner
Ships: Negan x Reader (It’s the kind of slow burn where you’re
trying to make a fire out of damp twigs)
Warnings: Curses, Daddy kink (Negan and his wives), smut (not much)
Chapter Category: Angst
Negan had finally finished bashing Spencer’s head in with
his lethal, crimson stained bat. You could see a smile on his face as he
looked at the still twitching body that used to be a selfish man named Spencer.
Rosita was shaking, from grief or from rage you weren’t sure, possibly a
mixture of both.
“Well, we’ll be going now.” Negan said in a voice with far
too much normality to it. “Dwight.” Negan nodded his head toward you and very
quickly you felt long fingers grip your upper arm. You let out a hiss of pain
and Negan gave Dwight a stern look and you felt the scarred man’s grip loosen
ever so slightly.
Dwight dragged you so that you were standing beside Negan
who was still smiling. He laced one arm around you and pulled you close to him.
You could see Rick standing there, looking as if he had seen a ghost. He was
shaking, presumably reliving what had happened to some of his former group
members. You felt an ache of sympathy and sorrow for him.
You have me at something of a disadvantage, Miss Grant. While you were able to survey the entirety of my bohemian studio from your place just inside my doorway and can now picture me writing to you in any number of places within my little sanctuary, I have only seen the library of your sprawling D.C. penthouse. And while, yes, I can see you penning these letters in the leather armchair by the fireplace hearth, or at the creaky brass-handled desk in the corner, or even (dare I suggest it) on the overstuffed microfiber sofa in Carter’s little reading nook, is it too much to hope that there are other pieces of your home that have been privy to our correspondence?
The table in your (no doubt) gourmet kitchen? The media room where Carter plays his video games and you catch up on all the latest with CatCo, penning your next letter atop your own embroidered throw pillow? Wrapped in a blanket on the second balcony outside your bedroom? I wonder. Are there two pairs of glasses on your nightstand, or three? Idle thoughts.
My handwriting is only Carter’s age, I’m afraid. Krypton was entirely technological. Writing was an antiquated lost art, relegated to what my father always called the “frivolous vocations of history and archaeology.” He indulged my forays into art, but never taught me to write our language. When I arrived on earth, Eliza spent hours teaching me my letters, helping me find just the right pressure so I wouldn’t tear the paper, break the pencil, dent the table. And oh I loved it. The way the slightest press of ink or lead or wax to paper left my thoughts behind. The words felt tied to me in a way they never did when they could be tapped onto a screen. I taught myself to draw Kryptonian glyphs and I wrote my name on every surface I could find, in English, In Kryptonian, in Arabic and Russian and Chinese. I embraced technology easily at CatCo, because it reminded me of home, but my soul will always yearn for the curve of the C in your signature or the flourish by which you cross your T, if only because it ties me to Earth, my adoptive home. Now you know the true secret of why I always insisted on staying while you signed all those documents.
I recognize the quirks in your characters too, Cat. The way your letters flatten when you’re mad at me or curl a little on the ends when you drop your pragmatism and allow yourself to dream a little.
Your gifts are extravagant and heartbreakingly lovely. Don’t think I don’t recognize the same model of outrageously overpriced Mont Blanc that graced your own desk throughout my employ with you. The way the ink soaks into linen pages bearing my name is an unexpected luxury I may never get fully used to. It’s far too much, and I’m not worthy of such spoiling. But, I know better than to tell you I can’t accept it. Besides, I want it, which, of course, you already knew. I’ll save the pen-chewing for dimestore Bics on my first drafts, agreed?
Now, I fear I must shift gears from this indulgence in the poetic. If your security team is receiving legitimate threats on your person or your life, Cat, you must do as they say. I don’t care if they cover the entire route from your office to the White House in bulletproof Kevlar canopies, you follow orders and stay safe. Not everyone is as open to the presence of alien life on this planet as you and the President. And you are a target now, whether you’d like to admit it or not. You joke about me coming to protect you, but so help me Cat Grant I will be glued to your side if I hear so much as a whisper that you are denying your protective detail. You brushed aside my protection once and it nearly got us both killed. I won’t allow it again.
Stay safe. Stay whole. Stay unharmed. It’s important to me, Cat. So much more than you know. When I see you, I promise I’ll tell you why, but until then, listen to the DEO, even if you still won’t listen to me.
My parents, my boyfriend and I are going to Thailand for my 28th birthday. I remember you said you and your boyfriend went. What were some of your favourite places? Did you go to Chiang Mai? It looks real nice. We are planning on going to three different places later in the summer and are now planning it.
Oh, how exciting! You’ll all have a great time. Yeah, we went to Chiang Mai and we both loved it. We also went to Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Samui, Koh Phangan, and Phi Phi Islands. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Bangkok but couldn’t fault any of the other places! Tbh, the main reason I wasn’t too fussed on Bangkok was probably because we stayed a bit too far away from the centre. We couldn’t really walk anywhere but the hotel WAS SO NICE!
I’d say Phuket was probably my favourite. You should look into visiting an elephant sanctuary but make sure it’s not a tourist trap first and cruelty free. Also go snorkelling and visit some of the islands! Monkey beach is really cool.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fuck out of Michael Clifford?
He publicly stated he went to see a therapist – that he had mental health issues. As someone who’s struggled – and still is struggling – with depression, anxiety, and self harm, it is extremely difficult to come out and admit to things like that. Fear of being judged. Fear of being looked down upon. Fear of being turned away. It’s fear of everything! So we go through the days, months, and even years with a smile on our face so we don’t have to make people worry. And the most loneliest and most hurting of people are the ones you least expect.
Michael was that person because he’s always so happy. And I am not kidding when I say that this guy became the light of my life the moment I saw his smile. Michael has that smile that literally warms my heart. His laugh makes my soul smile with joy. Michael is (aside from Luke, Cal, and Ash) the reason why I haven’t cut. One Direction was the first reason why I stopped and how I got better, but with 5SOS, they’ve kept me going stronger.
Michael helped me find a strength I never knew had. He started a flame within me that has burned so brightly and so powerfully, I never thought I was capable of feeling such happiness! I look at the scars on my arms and smile because there hasn’t been a fresh wound for 6 months and 5 days, counting. Michael saved me. For people to make him feel so low about himself, it sickens me. It hurts to be told things:
“You’re not talented.”
“Why are you even in the band?”
“5SOS would be better without you.”
“YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.”
Michael hears and reads things like this on a daily basis. And to especially be told you’re not good enough? That really gets to you. Because once you begin to feel like that, as Michael said, it kinda sucks. He felt like he “kinda sucked”. Well I have news for our precious little Kitten – YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW!! I don’t say that because I just say so. You breathe because you do. Not because someone says so. It’s the same as being worthy. You are worth it, Michael.
This Australian boy has become my sun, moon, and stars. He has become my everything. I want, now more than ever, to just hold him. To tell him that I know how he feels and that he is such a brave fucking person. To admit to your mental health issues, that takes a large amount of balls to do. Michael Gordon Clifford doesn’t have my heart and soul because he’s attractive or because he’s in a band or because he can play guitar. Michael Gordon Clifford has my heart and soul because he has a personality that hits you like a fucking tidal wave. He is caring and loving. He has your back and will be there for you when you need him most. Michael is told everyday from fans how he was and is the reason why they don’t go through some rough issues anymore or how he is getting them through so much shit. And he is there. He listens. Michael needs us now. And you can bet your ass that I am here to catch him when he falls just like the rest of the 5SOS Family. I love Michael with everything in me. Our baby is strong and brave.
Michael has become a bigger inspiration. He just made me feel like I wasn’t alone. He deserves all the fucking happiness in the world filled with Pokemon and unicorns and pizza with the boys and us all there with him! Michael is loved and I hope he realizes that. I don’t think I’ve ever had a hard time expressing in words how I feel about someone. I want to say more but the woods aren’t coming to me. All I can probably say, is that God has sent us the right Angel. Michael is the love of my life and I have no shame saying that.