Happy Birthday goes to the best dad in the world!! The one who is always there for me no matter what and encourages me to be a better person then I was the day before.
I love you so much even when you critique my riding 24/7 and tell me I am a terrible rider only so that it will put a little fire in my soul to prove you wrong in the good way! PS Dad we all know I am better than you.
You can make an Ultima IV-style alignment flowchart by pitting the hot beverages of my choice against each other tournament style, as follows:
If you go with the blackberry mocha latte my then-girlfriend made for me as she closed up the terrible Firefly-themed coffee shop she worked at in Seattle you’re a bard. If on the other hand you choose the ordinary cup of red zinger tea that I drank while on mushrooms the one time I was on mushrooms - the one where I could taste every single bit of leaf matter that had urped its goods into the new york water - you’re a ranger. If you ride my mom’s mulled cider (you have to stick the cloves into the orange yourself) all the way to the end you’re a tinker; if, on the other hand, you’re partial to the office coffee at the special ed van service I recently drove for in Clackamas, coffee so bad that the taste wakes you up way more thoroughly than the caffeine does and is therefore peculiarly excellent at being what it is, you’re a shepherd, and you’re going to have a bad time. A lavender milk steamer from the Pied Cow makes you a mage, but a cup of Silver Needle pu-erh makes you a druid. The latter is a better deal.
The single best hot beverage is the cardamon tea at Cafe Yemen in Bay Ridge on a really cold day, taken in combination with their chicken soup, which is also a beverage. You go there, you drink that, you’re a fighter. You’re a fighter because you have to be.
If you want to be a paladin though you gotta have a cup of hot jones.
look harrison will always have my heart but if we are talking realistically, i have a better shot with sam which doesnt even bother me?? can you imagine him wrapping his long ass arms around you and so!! many!!!! forehead!!!!!! kisses!!!!! and him being massive(his legs are longer than my lifespan) and him making you give him piggy back ride and speaking of riding sex with him would be so good and he would love you riding him bc i feel like he is an ass guy and kissing his jaw and wow hes pretty
STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME SWERVE INTO SAMS LANE HAKDLASNK (his fingers tho!?? Shit could ruin you)