Okay I’d like to drag myself for a second. One time I watched 4 (?) seasons of Grey’s Anatomy just to get to CalliexArizona. I can’t even say how many seasons of Rizzoli and Isles I watched just to get excited about them staring at each other, with the idea of them being together just a joke to the actors (this is actual queerbaiting). Or Warehouse 13, which is a show that I genuinely love, but I started it and watched at least a season before HG was even in it, only for the showrunner to go haha lol no we would never (again THIS is queerbaiting) and I still turned up every week. I have so many more shows I started just because I heard so much as a whisper that there would be wlw content, I could go on forever. Like the time I watched how many episodes of a German soap before the two ladies got together??? Anyway.
My point is, I know there are plenty of people out there who don’t just jump onboard a show if they hear there’s gonna be wlw content. I get that. But I also know that I’m not alone in being Like This. And to you all…..you’re telling me you saw gifs of Kadena and you didn’t jump on this shit? smh for real what’s up guys
Also @ my fellow white queers… look. You’re maybe just gonna want to ask yourself twice why you didn’t even want to give this a chance.
When you fight for representation, you need to be fighting for representation for everyone.
I told my mom I don’t like the was she’s treating her friends behind their back and she started yelling at me that she’s had enough, she can’t handle me anymore and that I should seek out professional help and I was just standing there like…….oookay?…….
A’ight guys. Classes start Tuesday and things are going to get pretty fucking hectic pretty fucking quick. I’m starting my school work tomorrow to start getting ahead of the game as quickly as possible. The more work I get done before my project heavy classes get project heavy, the less I have to worry about it down the line. I’ll blog on weeks when I have some downtime but, considering my graduation project, any time I’m not spending on homework will probably be spent on that and any time not spent working on both of those will be spent working on my personal projects like my Meade bio or my book and if not those then finally whatever posts I have stewing in my drafts (there’s, like, 40 of them).
In less words: If I disappear for days or weeks at a time over the next 9 months, don’t panic. I’m just drowning in work.
you know what, shout out to autistic people who can’t manage their emotions for shit
autistics who have meltdowns once or multiple times daily from emotional overload
“overly sensitive” autistics
autistics who try to control their response to things that upset them but can’t
autistics who are greatly upset by seemingly small things
autistics who get told that it’s “not a big deal” and that they’re “overreacting”
autistics who are mocked for being upset
you’re freaking wonderful and i hope that you have a good day with minimal upsetting events. you deserve to feel okay and your emotions are always valid and real, don’t let anybody try to tell you otherwise.
the aftermath of it
can’t find it in herself to be mad anymore.
At the start, after Magnus had portaled home, staggering and hurt and halfway to death with this boy leaning against him, asking that she help this Shadowhunter first… she remembers healing him – Alexander
– and feeling rage. With runes stark on his skin and blood
on his knuckles, he had been every inch a Nephilim. The Nephilim who
had stolen Magnus’s heart.
She remembers the way she’d frowned at his unconscious face,
comparing him to the strip of photographs Magnus left on his desk.
Watching him lying there on a makeshift cot in the living room,
suffering from the shock of blood loss and broken bones, she couldn’t
imagine him making funny faces, couldn’t imagine him looking at
Magnus with soft, sweet eyes. Couldn’t imagine that
he’d want Magnus’s touch, that he would smile
that boyish, lopsided smile with her best friend’s arms looped
She remembers thinking, you don’t deserve him. This
Shadowhunter, this lying Head of the New York Institute,
didn’t deserve Magnus and his love. Magnus, who had started
sleeping exclusively on the right side of the bed, who looked at
Madzie with something wistful in his gaze every time she ran toward
him, who always protected his people at the expense of his own
He’s too good for you, she had thought as she glared
daggers at the boy in front of her, with his angel blood and penchant
for prejudice. But she hadn’t said anything, hadn’t rolled him down the stairs, and had gone to help Magnus instead; her best friend, drained of magic and still stubbornly trying to heal himself. She’d gone to the balcony afterwards to clear her mind for a minute, to rest her hands, and now, as she turns around to check in on Magnus…
The Shadowhunter is missing from his cot. Classic. Rolling her eyes, she opens the
door to the master bedroom.
They’re lying in Magnus’s bed together, Magnus’s head
pillowed on Alec Lightwood’s chest, nearly asleep as he slowly
heals from the wounds of battle. His body still lies stiff from the aches
of demon venom coursing through his blood, skin paler than its usual
golden hue, bruises littered everywhere, yet his arm is still curled
possessively around the Shadowhunter’s waist in a familiar motion.
And the Shadowhunter…
He’s looking at Magnus like he’s a miracle.
His eyes never leave Magnus’s and his face is soft and warm and
content, like he’s holding onto something he thought he’d lost
forever. He looks young like this, the way he smiles and whispers
secrets into Magnus’s ear, the way his fingers trace patterns on
his bare shoulder, the way he readjusts the red silk blanket so that
it’s tucked carefully under Magnus’s chin.
Magnus can’t see it, with his face buried into the
Shadowhunter’s shirt, but from the doorway, Catarina can. This boy…
he’s truthfully, honestly, painfully in love. The
type of love Catarina hasn’t seen Magnus receive in too long, the
type that’s as helpless and natural as the sky is blue. And a part
of her still wants to be angry, to shake Alec Lightwood until his
teeth click in his skull, to tell him, don’t you ever hurt
him, but from the way he’s staring down at Magnus with his
heart in his eyes, she thinks he already knows.
Catarina starts to turn around, when unexpectedly Alec Lightwood’s
eyes dart up to meet hers at the sound of her loafers swishing
faintly against the rug. They stare, frozen for an awkward moment,
and she nearly laughs at loud at the way his cheeks go rosy pink. She
opens her mouth to say something, to make fun of him
maybe, or tell him to let Magnus sleep, but right then Magnus shifts,
groaning low in his throat, and the Shadowhunter breaks his gaze,
mumbling something into Magnus’s hair that makes her friend smile
Wordlessly, Catarina magics the door closed, staring at the smooth
black wood as Magnus and Alec fade from view. In the kitchen, she
makes herself a cup of chamomile tea, hands wrapped around the
soothing, fragrant heat as she sighs in exhaustion. The two of them…
they don’t make sense to her, not at all. They shouldn’t work.
But Magnus is Magnus, and he’s never done anything by halves. If
his happiness comes in the form of a too-tall Shadowhunter with
gentle eyes and a cautious smile, then Catarina will be the very last
person in this dimension to tell him no.