you are idiots and i hate you


Elizabeth: “I fucked up, Elsa. And now my husband hates me.”

Elsa: “He doesn’t hate you. I think he’s just hurt.”

Elizabeth: “I shouldn’t have lied about…”

She trailed off, acutely aware her brother was still pottering about the kitchen.

Elizabeth: “…Everything, especially Max related things. That was awful of me, no wonder he won’t speak to me. How is he supposed to know when I’m telling the truth or hiding stuff? Shit. I’m an idiot.”

Elsa: “At least you’re a self-aware idiot.”

Elizabeth: “Not helping, Elsa.”

When I first met you, we were children
Basically children who could not wait to grow up and it’s funny because we really thought we knew how the world worked.
I thought I loved you but maybe it was just because you were the first I’ve ever met.

You chose her over me, you chose her over me, you chose her over me, you chose her over me, you chose her over me, you chose her over me

And I hated you for it. I hated you for a few years. But I got over it.
Now we’re pals again and I wouldn’t have a reason to hate you again.

When I first met you, we were stupid
A couple of idiots who bonded over something that is a huge part of me growing up.
But you had him and that was fine until it wasn’t.
Eventually, you left him and became mine.
If I said I wasn’t the happiest in that moment, I’d be lying. I was ecstatic, nothing could ruin me.
But you did. You ruined me, twisted the knife in my stomach and I just said “That’s okay, because I love you.”
I don’t have a number of times or people, but I know you did other things. With other people.

“As long as I’m your number one. But please don’t do it at all.”

I’m stupid, I’m stupid, I’m stupid,  I’m stupid,  I’m stupid,  I’m stupid, I’m stupid, I’m stupid, I’m stupid, I’m stupid, I’m stupid, I’m stupid

It wasn’t until many, many years later did I notice that what you did was wrong and I should of stopped it a long time ago.
Now, you’re doing it to some other guy.
You’d think I’d stop it but hey, fuck him. He isn’t even a good guy and you don’t care. Giving two cents time and time again adds up over time. I don’t have a sum amount of how many times I’ve said something only for it to be thrown away.
But you won’t get rid of me, sorry. I’m done being your plaything, your secret lover. But you caught this friendship for a lifetime.

When I first met you, it was because of a mutual friend
You gave me a boost of confidence that I needed because at the time I did not believe in myself.
I looked stupid and never looked the way I wanted to, never sounded the way I needed to but you told me it was okay. You told me that I was a man, your man, and if that didn’t make me feel better, I’d be a liar.
Because it did. Maybe that’s why I thought it would be fine. Better. Healthier.
What I didn’t know soon ruined me even after I no longer had to forcibly see you at school.
You’d harass me, you’d force me to do things I didn’t want to do and threw a fit if you didn’t get your way, you make me feel like a damn idiot because I would make mistakes, little mistakes.
I’d forget the ketchup when getting food.
I’d buy the wrong type of chips.
I didn’t buy enough.
You tried to take all my attention and get mad when I wanted to spend time with someone other than you. I could feel the venom leaking out of your mouth, anytime you’d open it to attack me. It’s only a miracle that I managed to escape with the little humanity I have now.
You threatened to leave me, you put your hands on me.
“It’s okay. Because I love you. Don’t leave me.“
Now I’m lucky I don’t flinch every time someone raises their hands at me.
I can still remember the look in your eyes when you raised your hands, your fists and pummeled them into my skin. my face. my ribs.

Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me,d o n t-

But I don’t tell a soul how much it actually hurts. I’m a man now. I can’t express emotions. But that’s stupid. It’s so stupid. I should have a right. I should have a goddamn right to feel. To EXPRESS emotions other than happiness, silliness and anger.
You ruined me and I had to pick up the pieces.
And I did.
Or so I thought.

When I first met you, I was sure.
I was so sure that I could do this. I thought I was ready.
But I wasn’t. I was not ready. And for that, I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
I really tried but the words didn’t come out - I should of been honest.
I should of done a lot of things.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry

But I still want to be part of your life; as your friend and will try to actually communicate. Because you deserve so much even though you think differently. And that’s okay.

When I first met you, I didn’t think you liked me.
Honestly, all I did was annoy you in attempts to see if you wanted to be my friend.
I don’t know what my fascination of you came from or why I was so hellbent on it either.
I got a swelling feeling in my chest and all I did was push it down because “dude, you don’t even know them like that.”

I’m struggling with myself. But we talk a little more and every little word isn’t just a “fight” - it’s a conversation and I can’t help but smile a little.

There goes that stupid, stupid, swelling feeling again.
Just push it back down from whence it came, and there it goes.
Back into the crevices it went for a while.

I don’t know why it came back, so strongly, where it went

I would of been okay.
I don’t know.

It was great. I was stupid. 
But I was ready.

And you were not.
That’s okay.

All I could do is wait for my phone to light up and boy, was I looking stupid at work when I would smile and get curious glances from those around me.

Relax. It’s none of your business unless I tell you.

For whatever reason, I guess it managed to worm itself into your chest as well. That swelling feeling. Ready to burst at the seams.

But you still weren’t ready.
Or maybe you were.

But I scared you away.
And I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry. I’m not like that. I’m not.

I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster, I m 
 no t a  mon s t e r-

Now I’m afraid too - afraid to speak, afraid to think, afraid to react
Because I don’t want to do it again.
I still want to be there for you. But I’m also afraid to talk to you now.

I don’t know what the future holds for me.
But please, give them some slack too.

All of them deserve to get better and deserve to receive better.


maybe so do I.

anonymous asked:

hahaha, all these people are fucking idiots, i do not care if they hate me, i dont care. just kill yourself, and all the people you thought cared about you will forget about you in just a couple of hours. so just kill yourself, dont waste your time

… just stop…

How to properly look at your friend in a totally platonic way

totally not gay
A story by Dean Winchester

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some things john will say to sherlock once they’re together:

  • “I always loved you”
  • “From the start”
  • “She didn’t even come close”
  • “He may have been the first, but you’re the only”
  • “You’re a stupid git. But I love stupid gits”
  • “Come here. A kiss is needed”
  • “I love you so fucking much”
  • “Is this okay?”
  • “How about this?”
  • “You’re beautiful. Do you know you’re beautiful?”
  • “Amazing”
  • “Fantastic”
  • them: so how do you feel about the affordable care act
  • poor person: oh I love that it's finally given me the much needed medical treatment i've been seeking my whole life
  • me: so like ... the republicans intentionally mislead people to believe these lies but youre blaming poor people who don't know theres no difference because they've again intentionally been mislead and thought they were simply helping other poor people from suffering at the hands of something they have been, again, mislead to believe was horrible and harmful.
  • me: k.
the signs based on people I know

Aries: adorable, likes Star Wars, laughs a lot, knows interesting yet pointless stuff, likes people, always annoyingly happy, has an ‘idgaf’ attitude but they actually really care a lot

Taurus: loves Star Wars, loves food but quite fussy, loves sleep but never sleeps, thinks everyone hates them, likes performing arts, usually sad, will fight you

Gemini: a good sense of humour, can act like an idiot, good with kids, literally doesn’t give a shit about anything, acts like they’ll fight you but they won’t

Cancer: can be a dick, annoyingly intelligent, gets sad often but doesn’t show it, has a love/hate relationship with cats, doesn’t really have any people skills but loved by lots of people, you’ll beat them in a fight

Leo: creative and lovely, a really good friend, loyal, loves people and animals, fan of YouTube and focuses on dreams often, can often be very crazy, will try and fight you but will fail

Virgo: so lovely, will always support you and stick by you to give you advice when you need it, very lively, can be slow to reply to messages, very funny, probably a Star Trek fan, highly likely to fight you

Libra: very very loud, might need earmuffs. Is awesome but can also be an asshole, doesn’t stay mad for long and is usually happy but when they’re sad you’ll always know, will definitely fight you, you’ll wish they had an off switch

Scorpio: can be uptight but mostly pretty chill, will keep your secrets and knows when you’re lying, mostly loud but knows when to be quiet, lovely and loving but get upset easily, won’t fight you

Sagittarius: smart, cute, liked by everyone, either very loud or very quiet no in between, knows exactly what to say, laughs a lot, unlikely to fight you

Capricorn: likes being rewarded, can be lazy, likes animals, junk food, probably won’t fight you, very selective about friends, kind but doesn’t like sharing, gets angry easily, antisocial as fuck, no people skills, always have good intentions

Aquarius: cute as hell, loves puns, very lively and loves people, smart but hides it, awesome people skills, likes most things, may fight you, secretly a mouse

Pisces: very empathetic and sympathetic, loves people and just wants to be kind, loud and funny, really supportive, sometimes scared to do stuff that most people find easy, won’t ever fight you they’re too nice