Knowing I can’t give you everything you deserve is breaking me apart

From the proper bottom of my heart, thank you so much for everything. Before we go, I’d like you to find someone in the crowd you don’t know  - we might need some light. Are we all paired up? I would like you to turn to the person you don’t know - alright, you came together - whatever you want, you know what whatever you want! If you want to ruin it for everyone… Has everyone got someone they don’t know? I would like you to turn to the person you don’t know, and I would like you to embrace them. Hold hands! EMBRAAACCEEEE! You know what’s not used enough is the word embrace when referencing hugging. EMBRACE! Speaking of embracing, I was told this was removed somewhere, I’d like to put it back [holding up the pride flag]. EMBRACEEEEEEEE!! MAKE SOME NOISE!
—  Harry closing Nashville
Because,
I will
always hope
that someday,
you will
be brave
enough
to break
the barriers
that’s been
keeping you
away from
your dreams.
I hope
that someday,
you will be
strong enough
to fight
for your own
genuine
happiness.
—  ma.c.a // I hope you won’t give up on yourself

I’ve met a lot of really cool people on here over the years and a lot of the time I talk with someone for the first time it’s cause they need help. It could be gif questions, photography related, to really intimate and personal matters. At the end of the day, a few of you have trusted me, many of you without even knowing my name, to hear you out and reciprocate with some kind of feedback. I’ve grown to feel socially responsible for helping and enlightening others in any way I can. 

I’ll get right to it cause there’s no grand backstory to this. This is me somewhere just above 400 lbs. I think the one on the left is around 410 and that was taken spring 2010.

And this is me now around 190.

I’m making this post for a slew of reasons but mainly as an added source of encouragement for anyone that may need it. For anyone curious about the timeline, when I started losing weight, or rather, making an effort to lose it, I lost about 100 lbs. I managed to stay to around 300 for about a year, year and a half, then I was done with school and back at home looking for jobs. The market was pretty ass at the time so I wasn’t getting many replies. So I was at home, depressed cause I wasn’t getting call backs and turning to food for comfort. I must’ve put back on maybe 60 to 70 lbs in a year. My weight went up and down constantly, though. Half assed spurts to work out a week here, a week there, then right back to unhealthy eating habits wasn’t doing any any favors. 

The biggest chunk of progress since that initial 100 lbs loss happened in the last year. I don’t have a good reference for where I was last year this time but my weight and pants size has always been pretty consistent so I mustve dropped 110 lbs since last August, with about 80 of that happening since this March. It could be more but I try not to focus much on numbers they’re not what this has been about for me. 

Look, things take time. Nothing worth having is gonna come overnight. You’re gonna have to make up in your mind that you want something and commit to it. No amount of support from people will matter if you yourself don’t want it enough. I’m only here typing this because I made the best use possible use of all the free time I used to have on my hands. Countless mornings, evenings, nights, I’d be like “eh, I can skip the gym today and go tomorrow.” Nah, stuff like feeds into the mentality of putting off something for tomorrow that you’re fully capable of doing today, even right now. 

And don’t expect to see results overnights. This entire thing took seven years, and at one point I can wiped away almost all of the progress I made. This took sacrifices, as will anything you’re striving for. It’s not easy, and for many people, they simply don’t have the time or money to make the changes necessary in their life to take on healthier habits, and I’m entirely aware and respectful of that. But if this is something you’ve been wanting to do or thinking of doing, go for it. If you have the time and resources, go for it. Don’t worry about the energy, that’ll come. Progress is the biggest motivating factor. I continue to shoot because I think I’m better than I was a year ago, babies try to run right after they’ve learned to walk and they’re doing that innately. We’re wired to feed off of our own accomplishments, so that first 5 lbs or first pants size you drop could very well power you to levels of success you never thought you’d attain. 

Whatever you’re after, the second you can, the moment you’re in the right headspace to give it a shot, do it, and do it for you.

bitesizedwizard  asked:

BTS what they'd do for a first date.

Jin:

His first date would be relaxed and a way for the two of you to just hang out together to really get a feel of how the other is in that setting. He’d take you to do something very fun and nothing fancy that could be seen as intimidating like mini golf. It’d be a good way to laugh and joke around while still being close enough to make it flirty. He’d buy you cheap food that might not be the best thing you’ve ever tasted, but really can you go wrong with a corn dog and lemonade? As the date would go on and it got colder he would stand closer to you, give you his arm as you walked form hole to hole and if you were having troubles he’d even wrap his arms around you to show you just how its done. 

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi:

You’d know upon him asking you that music was everything so you wouldn’t be surprised when he took you to see live music at a restaurant. He’d say you two were going for the music but staying for the food. Though he knew it would be somewhat loud in the restaurant with the music he knew it would give you two a reason to sit closer in the booth and whisper things in each others ears. He’d suggest beers for you to try and as the two of you were finishing up your meals and were almost to stuffed to talk he’d slip his arm over the back of the booth and over your shoulders, now touching your shoulder to slightly bring you in every time he wanted to say something. He wouldn’t be extremely forward with the touching, just enough to get your attention and to let you know he was having a great time. 

Originally posted by cyyphr

Namjoon:

He’d take you somewhere he could really get to know you at, thats why the aquarium would be perfect. Its quiet and intimate enough to really be able to walk next to someone and for what ever reason, fish always seem to bring out the best stories about ones past. There would always be something to talk about, wether it be the seahorses in front of you or that one time your parents took you to the beach and you got stung by a jelly fish. He would make sure the two of you would go through it slowly, really looking at everything and reading off the descriptions to one another. When it came to the hands on stingray pool he’d buy a handful of food and help you feed them, placing your hand in his as he watched your excited expressions. Before the date was done he’d make sure to take you to the gift shop and would pick out a plushy of the creature you seemed to care for the most, buying it and then surprising you with it when the date was over. 

Originally posted by bangthebae

Hoseok:

He would want to do something that would keep the both of you laughing non stop, so why not go to a karaoke bar? He’d take you there early enough that the singing hadn’t started yet so the two of you could order and get settled. He wouldn’t force you to sing but he’d get up there multiple times to sing and dance to update songs making sure you were practically on the floor laughing. If you wanted to sing something too he’d join you and the two of you would try to be as serious as you could through the laughing. When that got old he’d take you for a walk, holding your hand lightly and smiling nonstop at the conversations the two of you were having. He’d give you his jacket if you were cold, stop and get you something warm to drink and by the time you two had decided to make your way home your cheeks would have been so sore from all the smiling the two of you would have been doing. 

Originally posted by yahjiminie

Jimin:

Jimin would be a little more traditional with his first date choice. He’d pick you up at 6 and take you to a fancy dinner, but though the date was basic nothing else would be. He’d suggest you picking what he eats and him picking for you without telling one another, crazy stories would be told and when dinner was done you would even start dancing on the empty space in front of the band causing more older people to join in. You’d soon catch on that this dinner was more than a game than something serious. How much trouble two kids could get into without getting kicked out of the restaurant. It would be fun and flirty and the food would be amazing, not to mention he was probably able to slip in a sweet short kiss here and there.

Originally posted by sugutie

Taehyung:

He wouldn’t have something to set plan. Instead he’d take you somewhere he knew had beautiful scenery, live a Botanical Garden or something along the lines of that. If you were hungry he’d take you to a food truck and as the two of you ate you’d walk around and take pictures of one another doing aesthetically pleasing things. The two of you would walk around with your arms linked looking around at the simple yet breath taking scenery. There wouldn’t be a whole lot to do other than walking around together but all that would mean was there was more than enough time to just talk and get to know one another in a better way than before the two of you decided to go on this date. 

Originally posted by sosbts

Jungkook:

Though probably not the best at planning dates he definitely knew what would be fun. He’d purchase tickets to a sporting even, and as he picked you up and tossed the jersey for the team the two of you would be cheering for he’d chuckle shyly. The two of you would sit in the stands together, get stadium food, cheer loud and high five and hug as things went well. He would constantly be asking you if it was okay and if he did the right thing in taking you to a game, but it was actually alot more fun then you thought you would have had. It would also be one of those dates that ended up back at one of your houses, where a the tv would be turned on and the two of you would drink a beer while talking nonstop. 

Originally posted by nochujungkookie


FOUR | DREAM STATE | MASTERLIST

Summary: You moved to Derry when you were 12 years old, and, to your luck, the monster that haunted the town was nowhere to be seen. However, he had been able to get a glimpse of you–proceeding in taking the chance to sneak into your dreams for the next five years. Until he opens his eyes, yours would stay closed too. And only to crimson dreams.

A/N: This chapter got me shook and you all better prepare yourselves

Words: 4.3 K +


The finishing bitter taste of your coffee filled your mouth with the feeling of grounds against your tongue. In the waning light behind a cloud, you looked beside where you sat. Seeing the unoccupied seat of Brien, as she had gone to the bathroom and to get another cup, you continued to look around. The coffee shop was quiet, the faint sound of jazz filling your ears.

Keep reading

Sam x Reader:

“You’re staying in again? (Y/N), why don’t you just go out with us tonight. It’s going to be awesome!” My friend, (Y/F/N), begged with a pleading stare. She swung my hand in hers as she stood in a short red dress and I wore sweats with a black tank top. “Leave the anti-social world for awhile.”

“I’m exhausted, go have fun with the girls tonight. I love you, get home safe, and don’t overdrink.” I rose an eyebrow and warned with a serious stare. She let out a laugh and raised her arms in surrender.

“Trust me, I know Mother.” She answered sassily before placing a kiss on my temple and waved as she walked out of the door with her purse and phone in her hand. I sighed and shut the door behind her. I shivered from the chilliness of the room and grabbed a warm blanket to wrap myself in. Once I took my popcorn out of the microwave, I waltzed to my couch and plopped down right in the middle. I flipped through channels before giving up and choosing a movie through Netflix. Finally deciding on re-watching a few episodes of New Girl, I dug my hand into my popcorn bowl.

——

I was seven episodes in when I heard loud banging on the door. I jumped because it sounded terrifying, but I stood up to look into the peephole. It was difficult to see at first, but I saw a figure knocking on the door. My first initial thought was stranger danger, but I opened the door anyways. I regretted the decision as soon as I acted on it, because the figure turned out to be a male in his early twenties and he busted through the door and stumbled into my living room.

“I could really go for some pizza right now.” He slurred his words and stopped near the island in the kitchen. “Hey, this isn’t my flat.” He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. “Who the hell are you?” I showed a surprised expression at his question and reluctantly shut the door.

“Are you a murderer?” Was the first question that came out of my mouth.

“Does it look like I have a weapon on me?” He asked with a drunk attitude. “Who are you? And do you have pizza? Ooh! Popcorn!” He stumbled and rushed to my couch to grab the bowl of goodness and comfort. I snatched my bowl away and scowled at the strange man.

“What’s your name and why are you here?” I ordered questions while placing the bowl near the kitchen sink.

“My name…My name is…Sam? Yeah, I’m Sam. Sorry about showing up at your door. I think I got the room numbers mixed. This is a really nice place, can I please have the popcorn back? I’m starving.” He moved and stood up to head back for the popcorn bowl, but I pushed him back on the couch. “Look, you’re a gorgeous Lass and all, but I don’t know you enough to have sex with you.”

“Oh whatever, you’d be lucky as hell if I had sex with you.” I gasped at the sentence that popped out of my mouth, what the hell was I saying!? “Nevermind what I said, you need to leave. I don’t know you and it’s really late. Do you have a number to call?” I leaned my weight on my right leg and waited for an answer.

“You’re quite the confident one, arent you?” He eyed me up and down, I scoffed as I grabbed a toss pillow and threw it towards his smug face. “I was only messing with you Love. I’ll call my brother, Harry.” He stood up and had to steady himself so that he wouldn’t fall the the floor. “Can I borrow your phone, Principessa?” He imitated a terrible Italian accent and I cringed as his warm breath fanned my face. I didn’t say anything, but I handed him my cellphone and waited for him to finish his call. “‘Ello, Harry, Lad, do you mind telling me what the room number of the flat is? I stumbled into a really pretty lady’s apartment, she doesn’t seem to like me…oh man, you wouldn’t believe how gorgeous this Lassie is. Anyways, about that room number. . .” Sighing with tiredness, I plopped back on the couch and pressed play on New Girl. It was close to two o'clock in the morning and once this guy leaves, I’m so heading to bed. I gasped quietly when I felt hands on my ankles. I turned to see the man, I mean Sam, picked my legs up and sat down before sitting down and setting them on his lap. He continued eating the popcorn and watching the TV as if nothing happened, as if we weren’t total strangers. . .


——–


“Why don’t they just hook up already?” Sam asked out of the blue and I was snapped out of the Netflix trance.

“Because if they do, then things will be weird between them.” I answered with a small smile. This was one of the strangest nights I’ve ever experienced, I’m just glad that he didn’t turn out to be a crazy murder guy. He was fun to hang with, even if it’s only for the remainder of tonight. It’s been about an hour and a half or so, Sam said he’d stay to watch a few episodes so he could eat his drunkness away. . .whatever that means. I figured letting him stay couldn’t do any harm, he didn’t seem dangerous.

“That’s dumb, they should be together.” He pouted and dropped his face in his hands. I laughed at his face and paused when I heard a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it.” I walked in front of him and to the door to look through the peephole. There was a man who looked around the same age as Sam. I opened the door fully with a tired smile.

“Oh- uh- Hello, is Sam still here?” He was a lot taller than I was, but not taller than Sam. “I’m his brother, Harry.”

“Ye-Yeah, he’s here, come on in.” I let him inside and shut the door behind him.

“Hey, Harry.” Sam stood up and hugged his brother. They talked for about three minutes until they both turned to me at the same time, it was freaky. “I’m off to my brother’s flat, Love. Thank you for the popcorn and TV, I will hopefully see you again because tonight was fun. Sweet dreams, Lassie.” He swiftly kissed my cheek and I flinched slightly from shock. He whisked his brother out the door and shut it softly. I sighed and fell back on my couch after locking the door. The peace and quiet felt wonderful as I began to doze off.

Would I see Sam again. . .?


Maybe a part two, honestly, I probably will write a second part. Sorry if this is shit.

4

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Everything you are is enough.