you are enjoying this aren't you

How to get the signs to like you
  • Aries: be sweet and personable. make them feel welcome, and allow them to express themselves. do not ignore them when they need to talk to someone.
  • Taurus: be open and caring. give them comfort and a sense of security. do not betray their trust, ever...for your own good.
  • Gemini: be outgoing and energetic. try to cheer them up when they need, and be optimistic towards them. do not try to one-up them when they're proud of something they've done.
  • Cancer: be thoughtful and sympathetic. listen to them when they need to vent to someone. do not insult them, especially behind their back, because they will find out.
  • Leo: be generous and compassionate. compliment them often, but make sure that you're always being genuine. do not ever tell them that they aren't good enough to do something (they'll probably prove you wrong, anyway).
  • Virgo: be loyal and considerate. respect their privacy and treat them kindly. do not take advantage of their kindness or responsibility.
  • Libra: be honest and creative. be straightforward in your feelings. don't be afraid to express yourself around them, and they'll do the same!
  • Scorpio: be patient and affectionate. show that you support them, and encourage them to achieve their goals. don't act coldly to them, or neglect them; they aren't very clingy, but it'll make them feel like they're guilty of something.
  • Sagittarius: be adventurous and respectful. cooperate with them and show that you enjoy their company. don't be a killjoy, let them have their fun!
  • Capricorn: be genuine and down-to-earth. respect their ideas, and show interest in what they're up to! but do not act too clingy around them, they appreciate independence and hard work.
  • Aquarius: be kind and open-minded. take the time to get to know them, and let them get to know you, too. don't try to hide things around them, they can sniff out lies fairly easily.
  • Pisces: be devoted and passionate. show them you care with small actions, like compliments or small gifts. do not ever act selfish around them, or take advantage of them.
  • (Note: While this was meant to be a more romantic post, it could also work for getting the signs to become your friend.)
  • 800 yr old entity after being called upon: so, you're the one who- shit, how much blood is that? how deeply did you cut yourself?
  • me: uh... pretty deep, i guess? the book said summoning you would require.. a significant amount of blood.. so..
  • entity: well, you could've gone a little smaller and shallower, couldn't you? and you were planning on, what, just.. bleeding freely during the entirety of our conversation? after slicing your hand open with a knife that's older than you are? how foolish can you be? christ. you need to clean and cover that. like, right now. here. let me see.
  • me: it's not THAT bad plus i disinfected the knife beforeha-
  • entity: no. be quiet. we'll talk afterwards. or even.. while i'm helping you with your mess. but it needs to be taken care of, right now, and i truly don't feel like going to a hospital at this hour. they smell.. odd. uncomfortable places. anyway. c'mon. lead me to the antiseptics and bandages.
  • me: fine. i guess. Whatever
  • entity: i can't believe this... i can't even enjoy the fruit you left for me yet because i have to take care of YOUR irresponsibility.. actually wait let me grab a grapefruit then we can go.. oh, wait, are those peaches? i haven't had one in DECADES.. the pits are so neat-looking, aren't they? i used to save them because they really are just so funny-
  • me: clears throat and holds up hand
  • entity: ah. yes. right. i apologize. grabbing the fruit. coming. following.. you leading
Discworld Politics
  • Vetinari: You have two cows. You convince them they will better off with you alive and in control than not.
  • Sam Vimes: You have two cows. They are probably guilty of something. Loitering, probably.
  • Young Sam: Where are your cows? Those goes "baah." Those are sheep. They are not your cows.
  • Moist von Lipwig: You steal two cows. You convince everyone they are made of gold and sell them for a fortune. You get arrested and become Minister of Agriculture.
  • Tiffany Aching: You have two cows. An elf tries to steal them and you hit it with a frying pan.
  • Nac Mac Feegle: Someone has two cows. You steal them, then fight them, then fight yourself. You win.
  • Rincewind: You run away from cows.
  • Unseen University: You have two cows. One is caught up in a magical accident and is now a chair. The other has become a professor.
  • Sybil Ramkin: You have many cows. They aren't dragons, so you don't care. You have 37 dragons.
  • Nanny Ogg: You have a cow and a bull. You enjoy explaining how they will make more cows.
  • Granny Weatherwax: You wish Gytha would stop explaining how you get cows.
  • King Verence: You try to create an economic plan for your country based on bovine products; your people are too busy listening to Nanny Ogg.

I’m a lover not a fighter. Okay, I’m a sorcerer, but only because I couldn’t find lover in the player’s handbook

And we all talked about the plausibility of assumed misogyny and general inequality in a world without Christianity and 'Original Sin' i.e. Fuck that noise; your home village burned to the ground and every other person you meet wants to kill you, but at least you don't have to deal with that bull shit.

The gnome bard and half-orc warlock (for context they are played by siblings who enjoy trolling the rest of the party on the regular) are the only players still conscious in the dungeon we’ve been trapped in FOR WEEKS  and even short rests always end in tears

Bard: Sooo, we leave them to die?

Warlock: You’re chaotic GOOD

Bard: … GDI

Warlock: Hey, how ‘bout that random magic archway we found that leads to nothing but a storage closet.

This portal turned our knowledge cleric from a male to female, but had no harmful effects.  She reported it was FASCINATING.  The human barbarian immediately began finding excuses to fondle her new assets.

Barbarian’s player: Wait, WHAT?!?!

Bard and Warlock grin wickedly to each other as they drag the barbarian, cleric, and ranger back to the portal.

- Upon waking -

Bard now female:  Sweet, whole new identity.  I can go back and rob all those towns I’m wanted in.

Ranger now female:  I’m an elf, I’ve lived for 300 years as a dude.  I’m ready to mix it up.

Cleric already transformed: FASCINATING, the apparatus seems to provide only a single use to one creature.

Warlock now male: I’m a half-orc in full plate armor, nobody saw me as a woman before anyway.  So this doesn’t really change my identity.

Barbarian now female to the DM: How do I look?

DM: Your life of battle and hard labor is still apparent, your body is heavily muscled and scarred.  You tower over the rest of the party as before. Your armor fits differently, but you judge it is still fit for combat.

Barbarian: But what about my boobs, how are they???

DM: … Uneven.  The left one is bigger than the right.

Vague Horoscopes (April 23, 2017)
  • Aries: The lessons we learn today are important, look out for them, or you may just miss them.
  • Taurus: Remember the people you've trusted recently aren't always good for you. Look out for lessons here.
  • Gemini: Your sexual appeal is more than usual, but one should be wary with how they enjoy it.
  • Cancer: The feelings of restriction aren't only felt by you, remember this.
  • Leo: Today is optimal for your story telling, especially of dark natures / secrets. You may feel upset, but with Neptune's illusions, it may not totally be present.
  • Virgo: The home life may be disruptive, and something elusive may be happening in your love life. It's imperative to look for instance in these times.
  • Libra: We feel and look even more beautiful than usual. The innocent vibe you have will work in your favor today.
  • Scorpio: Relationships should be ego-less. Is yours? What should you do?
  • Sagittarius: The cautious steps we take today will benefit us. The home life may try you, and may take the day to heal.
  • Capricorn: You aren't thinking things through, today. Don't rely on luck/intuition at this time.
  • Aquarius: You find yourself bringing more home today than usual. But today, what you bring home doesn't feel like it belongs there, and may take root for longer than anticipated. (Applies to people, feelings, and/or objects).
  • Pisces: Today the cloud that has been hovering over your head may weigh more than usual.

Pyar Dhosti Hai (Love is Friendship) 

Pairing: Harry Styles/ Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik/ Liam Payne

Word Count: 39.8K 

Summary: “We should be Julia Roberts! Go on a yoga retreat! To India!”

When Zayn’s and Harry’s thesis project hits a snag, they feel a bit hopeless. Liam’s just gotten out of a relationship. Louis is stuck wondering if Harry will ever open his eyes. And Niall’s still searching.

This is a story of love and friendship. Of five boys who travel to India on a quest to find themselves and each other.

*This is equal parts Larry and Ziam. Title is a reference to the greatest Bollywood movie ever - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

anonymous asked:

Hello there! I really enjoy reading your headcanons! They're very well done! I was wondering if you would be willing to do the RFA + Saeran and how you think they would react to the MC getting hit on by a very pushy man/men like in a club or something. Like MC tells them kindly that she's not interested and that she's taken but they don't leave her alone and that's when MM boy comes in. You don't have to do this if you don't want to or aren't comfortable with it though, so no worries!

thank you so much! i’m very happy you like them -u- i hope you also enjoy what i’ve written for your request~

-Admin Ace in Space

Yoosung

  • no
  • no no no
  • okay this boy is such a sweetheart and such a darling but there are certain things he absolutely cannot deal with
  • and that gross, pushy man trying to get you to go out with him is one of them
  • how does that guy not notice how uncomfortable you are???
  • so Yoosung takes a deep breath and puffs up and comes up next to you
  • wraps his arm around you and gives the guy a terrifying glare
  • which is especially terrifying because it’s so unexpected from this cutie patootie
  • he really wants to fight that guy but also doesn’t want to cause a scene so he just walks away with you
  • fingers digging into your side because he’s so upset
  • once you’re away from the creep he hugs you tightly and kisses you
  • won’t let go of you for the rest of the night but what if MC needs to pee

Zen

  • men are wolves
  • and that dude trying to get you to dance with him is the worst kind
  • Zen is pissed
  • you keep repeating that you have a boyfriend and that he works out every day but Creepy McCreeperson is not. getting. it.
  • he tries to grab your hand and regrets it about 0.0005 seconds later
  • because Zen punches him
  • actually punches him
  • and then turns to you and gently takes your hand, kissing it before leading you away
  • holds your hand super tight and complains about the guy very loudly
  • “who does he think he is to be hitting on my angel?”
  • “I told you MC, men are wolves”
  • doesn’t make it sound like it’s your fault tho, instead comforts you bcs creepy men are scary
  • he’s kind of riled up but won’t release the beast unless you initiate it

Jaehee

  • her reaction depends on the specific situation
  • if the guy just won’t shut up but doesn’t do anything physical, she casually walks up to you two
  • “oh hi, are you MC’s friend? I’m their girlfriend”
  • she’s all smiles but it’s actually kind of scary
  • and she just keeps talking and walks away with you at the same time
  • but if the guy tries to touch you or grab you
  • u kno he ded
  • Baehee knows judo
  • and then he’s either on the floor or leaving in pain and embarrassment
  • and, like a magical knight in shining armor, Jaehee holds out her hand for you to take
  • and you two ride off into the sunset

Jumin

  • this creepy dude clearly wants Jumin Han to hate him
  • because hitting on MC is the way to do that
  • he’s possessive, but he’s mainly angry because you’re so uncomfortable
  • and he never, ever wants the love of his life to be uncomfortable
  • so he walks up behind you, puts his hand on your back, and just leads you away in the middle of the guy’s sentence
  • doesn’t even acknowledge that creep’s existence
  • he’s usually very quick to rush to your side when something like this happens but if it escalates before he can swoop in, he sends his bodyguards instead
  • and holds your hand as they escort the creep out
  • then does what he can to comfort you and cheer you up again
  • offers to sue the dude
  • you say yes

Seven

  • when he sees a random guy hit on you, at first he doesn’t know what to do
  • because BOOM insecurities hit him hard
  • what if that guy is actually better for you??? my babe no
  • but once he notices you trying to get the guy to leave by constantly mentioning that you have a boyfriend
  • he is a) so so happy bcs YAY MC LOVES ME and b) annoyed bcs that dude still doesn’t get the damn hint
  • so he does what he does best
  • runs up to you and kisses you hard
  • drags you away whilst still kissing you
  • you actually have to remind him that air is a thing you need bcs he gets so lost in the kiss
  • like Yoosung, he’s super clingy afterwards
  • never wants to let you go ever
  • he also hacks the dude’s phone and bank account bcs why the hell not

V

  • he really hates violence and confrontation
  • just wants a peaceful life let the man be happy dammit
  • and so when he notices that someone’s hitting on you, he’s a little bit unsure of what to do
  • but once it becomes clear that you are really, really not happy with the situation
  • soft boi is right there for you
  • “excuse me, but MC is too wonderful for someone like you to be talking to them”
  • BURN
  • his voice is still so calm and soothing and soft tho???
  • and the creep is really confused bcs he’s offended but the atmosphere is so relaxed???
  • and V really doesn’t make a big deal out of it, he simply leaves with you, pressing kisses to the top of your head
  • actually asks you what you want him to do in situations like this because he wants to help you as much as he can

Saeran

  • what’s there to say?
  • as soon as someone is making you feel upset or uncomfortable or a negative emotion in any way
  • Saeran Wrap is there to wreck their shit
  • makes sure none of them get away with it
  • will only stop if you ask him to
  • if he’s not allowed to fight all the creeps, then he’ll pull out his signature death glare
  • might threaten them too
  • afterwards he keeps looking you up and down as if to check if you’ve broken something
  • he’s just so so worried that someone might hurt you, physically and mentally
  • he’s kind of awkward about it but eventually hugs you tightly and promises to protect you
  • he also shows more of his soft side, especially if you’ve just seen him kick a dude in the nuts
  • because whilst he wants to protect you, he also doesn’t want to scare you with his own violence
Daredevil preference: you go missing

Matt: It had been two days since he had last seen you at Josie’s, but he had no idea where you could’ve been. Did someone know he was Daredevil and come after you to get to him? Or were you hurt, laying up in a hospital somewhere? The possibilities overwhelmed him. To his relief, there’s a Jane doe matching your description at Metro General. It turned out you had fallen, hit your head, and had been unconscious for a day. He feels like it was his fault because if he’d walked you home, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. When you wake up, he’s there holding your hand, and first thing he says to you is “I’m sorry”.

Wesley: You two had had a fight so he wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t heard from you, but when he stopped by your apartment to no answer he became concerned. He opened your door to find your apartment a mess and he instantly knew the Russians had something to do with it. For once in his life, he asks Fisk for a favor; get you back no matter the cost. On the exterior he appears cool and confident knowing that Fisk will get you back home safe. On the inside, he has to face his fears wondering what life would be like without you. When you are freed, he does his best to make sure you know you’re loved and safe.

Vladimir: He’d go ballistic and order all his men to go out looking for you wherever they could. He’d be breaking shit just to get his frustration out. When they finally find you, Vladimir would never let you out of his sight again. He’d always have a set of men outside your door to protect you when he wasn’t there and he’d teach you how to fight.

Frank: Frank would be devastated. He would be so scared you had been hurt by your captors he could barely function. The only thing that’s clear to him is that he needs to hurt the people who hurt you. When he finds where they’re holding you he kills every last man in the joint. By the time he comes to untie you he’s covered in blood and nearly having an anxiety attack. “Oh, fuck, I thought I lost you too,” he’d cry before taking you into his arms.

Altean! Lance with a twist (part 2)

Omg!!!! I was expecting so many notes of the first part, and now that post is almost to 1,000 notes!!!!!!!! So I gotta give you guys part 2 as a thank you! I hope you enjoy!

So when Lance and the team find Allura and Coran, it’s definitely a surprise to Lance, who didn’t even know that his people had a monarchy, or that his mother helped in destroying their home world and with it, the Alteans. He never really thought about how different his mother and he were from the Galra, he never thought about what might have happened to his people, or why he and his mothers were the only ones he ever saw. But he’s definitely thinking about all that stuff now, trying to figure out so much about it all.

They don’t really have time to talk much as they have to protect the planet they are on from Sendak, who thankfully doesn’t recognize Lance (at first >:)). So the team goes out and gets the other lions and defeating Sendak, pretty much following the plot of episode one. Lance thinks that it will be really easy to hide himself from the others.

That is, until they start training together as a team to try and figure out how to form voltron. It was hard for him to hold back when it came to the gladiator, since he has fought many of these since he was a child. And the fact that it’s only he first level makes it even harder. I mean come on, it’s he beginning level and the others are getting their butts whooped, Lance is trying to make it look like he’s just as bad as the others without actually lowering himself that much. He ends up taking a hit for Shiro and gets thrown across the room.

And when they tried to do the mind meld thing, Lance was just blocking everyone left and right. Not wanting anyone to even catch a glimpse of his real family, he thinks about the ones who adopted him, and his drive to protect them, but besides that, he didn’t let anyone into his head hole. He was really glad that Pidge was the one that stopped that training tactic, not wanting to make it obvious that he was holding back. But he’s sure he gets a couple of curious looks from Shiro and Hunk.

After that, he excludes himself from team bonding, especially when it came to the mind melding device. Whenever anyone would talk about their families, Lance would barely participate in it. He would hide away in his room whenever he wasn’t needed, and if he found himself alone in the same room as Allura or Coran, he would make some part of excuse to leave. It definitely raised red flags for everyone. They just couldn’t understand why Lance is holding back.

Then the attack on the castle of lions happens, and Lance saves Coran from the explosion, getting himself seriously hurt as well, so much so that he slips and reveals some of himself to Coran, before his instinctive reflexes makes him revert back to human. Coran didn’t see his full true form, but he knows for a fact that Lance is Altean, and from the looks of it a very battered one. So pretty much Coran and Hunk go to get the crystal, Allura and Keith go to the arusian village, and Pidge and Shiro stay back in the castle to keep an eye on Lance, who is stuck in a perpetual nightmare state where his mother and Zarkon found out about his treachery and hurt his human family as a way of punishment.

Of course Sendak find them and now that he can get a closer look, he can see that it’s Haggar’s son in disguise. He calls out about how he’s a traitor to the empire and how Haggar would be “so glad” to have him come back home. Shiro thinks that he’s talking to him, not to Lance, and adamantly fights to keep Sendak from breaching the castle. Sendak does take over the castle and is very cautious about both Shiro and Lance, as he has seen how Shiro fought in the arena, and Lance’s tactical and fighting skills are rumored about all through out the empire. He knows better than to leave those two unguarded, even if they are both unconscious.

But if course, the calvary arrives and beats Sendak and regains control of the castle. (Hurray!) they put Lance in a pod and wait for him to heal. This is when the others find out that lance is actually Altean, not human. Everyone are trying to figure out how that is possible, asking themselves how Lance got to Earth, and how he survived the destruction of Altea. Coran is not freaking out as much as the others, having guessed that Lance was hiding something about his true origins, but the fact that he’s a full blood Altean is still freaking amazing!

When Lance gets out of the pod, he is bombarded with questions from the team (mostly Pidge and Hunk); how did he survive the destruction of Altea? How did he survive for over 10,000 years? How he got to Earth? Why didn’t he tell them sooner? How old is he really? Why didn’t he tell Allura or Coran sooner?

It all just becomes to much to fast and Lance resorts to using old tactics that his mother taught him to avoid being interrogated. He just completely shuts down, falling to the floor and having a distant look in his eyes like he isn’t there to begin with. Shiro thankfully catches on to what’s happening and shoots down any more questions, and helps Lance come out of that state, telling him it’s a ok and that he doesn’t have to answer any questions if he doesn’t want to. Slowly, lance comes back to himself, really drained from the healing pod and the total lock down he put himself through, so everyone backs off with their questions and lets Lance get some food and some sleep. Hoping to get some answers later.

Later that day, Lance comes out of his room and walks into the lounge to find everyone else already there. He knows that he’s got some explaining to do, but how much do they know? He doesn’t answer all of their questions, either because it could reveal his real origins or because he just isn’t comfortable answering them. And the others, having learned from last time, take the answers they can get and don’t push when Lance refuses to answer one. Thy of course do try and get him to show his true form, but he is very against that idea, not wanting to freak them out (shiro especially, since Lance knows that his mother had some ax ice part in Shiro’s arm. He knows his mothers work anywhere) and because he just isn’t ready to face himself yet. He isn’t ready to face who he use to be and the pain he’s caused to so many species. He doesn’t want to see his mother’s face when he looks in the mirror. He just can’t.

(Skipping ahead, if you guys got any questions about it, just send me an ask)

So fast forward to when the team had to go and save Allura, by now, Lance is still pretty pensive about revealing himself, but he’s letting a few things slide, like his ears or his height, or his eyes (which aren’t like a Haggar’s). And the team go and start fighting Zarkon’s forces, and Lance isn’t holding back one bit, destroying battle ships and battalions left and right, kinda of scaring the others because “when did Lance get so good at this?! Wtf?!” But Zarkon recognizes the flying style. He knows who is flying the blue lion and destroying his troops. But he could care less, it’s not his problem anyways, it’s Haggar’s boy, she’ll handle it. Zarkon takes control of the Black Lion for a bit, long enough to eject Shiro out of her and left floating through space. Shiro does sneak in to try and find Allura.

Lance, not wanting to take any chances with either Shiro or Allura getting hurt by his mother, Lance rams his lIon’s head into the base, right where Allura is being held. He helps her escape and immediately starts to make his way to where he’s positive Shiro is, Allura following along to make sure all three of them get out ok.

they find Shiro in the middle of a fight against Haggar, and as soon as they run in, Lance jumps into the fight and gets Shiro away from her, back to where Allura is. Haggar sees Lance and immediately knows that it’s her son, and she immediately goes on about how he did so well, and how he is allowed to come back now that he has the Blue Lion, much to Allura’s and Shiro’s confusion. Lance of course refuses to hand over the lion, and Haggar takes a strike at Lance, who struggles to counter it with his own magic But for him to do that level of Druid magic, he has to reveal his true form.

Completely.

But he isn’t focusing on that at the moment. He’s focusing on making sure his friends; his teammates are able to escape safely. But their more focused on the fact that Lance looks just like Haggar. She yells at him to stop being an insolent child and concede, and that she might just make his punishment less painful. But Lance refuses again, much more confident than before, telling her that he doesn’t take orders from her anymore, that he isn’t some puppet for her to command. He yells out how he doesn’t care that she’s his mother, that he will fight until the empire is gone!

Lance expects for her to be furious, to go berserk and fry them all to a crisp, to tell or scream about how he betrayed her and the empire. Instead she merely scoffs at him, looking at him as she always had; a look that Lance once though was her way of showing him that she loved him, or was proud of him. But he knows the real message behind it now, he kind of always had, but refused to believe it. It’s the look of disappointment. She says “it seems that you didn’t just get your father’s eyes. You got his cowardice and weakness as well.” And with that she strikes him, injuring Lance I much the same way as she did Shiro. But Lance was able to create a flash, making his and his teammates escape possible.

They all return to their lions and head back into the castle, but are unable to create a wormhole, Lance is trying hard to stay awake, but with the quintessential drain from using such high level Druid magic and the injury his mother gave him, he’s fading in and out of it.

one minute they’re in the castle trying to figure out why they can’t create a worm hole.

and the next thing Lance is sure of is him and his Lion being pulled out of the castle with the violence of a corrupted wormhole.

and then. Nothing.

ok that’s all I got right now, and if any of you guys have questions, feel free to send them my why and I’ll get to the as soon as I can!

  • Atem: Not so fast, aibou! I activate Mirror Force. *sexy smirk* Looks like I managed to completely entrap you. *oozing charm* If you aren't careful, I'll entice you into a... rather reckless move. ;)
  • Yuugi: Haha, guess I'd better be more careful. I'm not going to just hand you a win... Though if you play your cards right, we might both get to enjoy the spoils of victory. :)
  • Atem:
  • Atem:
  • Yuugi: ........Atem?
  • Atem:
  • Atem: *frozen stiff as his face goes blood red*
  • Atem: *falls out of his chair*
  • Yuugi: -mou hitori no boku, come on. That's flattering, but it wasn't THAT good a line.
  • Atem: *dead*

ask-the-fnaf-cast  asked:

Happy Early Easter, Sproing! I hope you can enjoy this basket full of easter eggs! And look, the eggs are painted to look like all of your friends! And Purple!

Rewatched the ending cutscene of Revelations and heard Monty call our boys snowflakes… look I dunno what I’m doin, I’m just really fucken tired

anonymous asked:

If Dipper and Bill had their honeymoon where would they go?

A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep