you are brave simply for existing

Romance, Representation And You

So the last post I reblogged got some interesting comments I want to touch on, namely people stating that they don’t dislike Romance because it’s fluffy and feel good, but because it is often sexist, misogynistic, ableist, heteronormative and woefully lacking in diversity, which yes, absolutely, yes. Those are entirely valid criticisms of the genre—indeed I find them to be valid of any genre, whether it’s sci-fi, fantasy, young adult or otherwise. There is a shocking lack of diversity in our fiction and media—and not because people don’t want it or aren’t trying to make it, but because publishing houses and media can’t see the co-relation between what their marketing teams are telling them, and the actual reality that of course straight white stories are selling the best, of course it is, because you won’t sell anything else, that’s why there’s no sales numbers for anything else.

I worked in a romance publishing house for a good few years, I also worked for their erotica team, and do you know, not once did I ever come across a manuscript with a disabled person? Not a single one. There was also never a manuscript that featured a character with mental illness who wasn’t the villain, or whose issues couldn’t be Fixed With Love™(*vomit*). 

The few times a story featured non white characters, it was usually “The Best Friend Who Gives Sassy Real Advice”, or so horrifically racist that our modus operandi was to nuke it from the office servers rather than try and deal with it because how do you politely tell an author, hey, you’re a fetishistic piece of shit please find God and change the entirety of your story so we can print it, (Answer: you don’t there is no polite way to tell someone they are a  fetishistic piece of shit and you never want their work to darken your inbox ever again.) when you can instead say “Sorry, not what we’re looking for a the moment” and retreat to the relative safety of the slushpile where maybe, just maybe, a hidden gem awaits excavation.

And our publishing house prided itself on diversity because we had an LGBT section, and oh boy let me tell you I was so excited when I got moved over onto that side…only to realize, there’s no w/w fiction because “it doesn’t sell well” and 90% of the m/m fiction is being written by women for women and they fired the one gay author cause his work wasn’t “what was selling” and every bisexual character I ever encountered was either Actually Gay/Actually Straight, or surprise! The Evil Greedy Homewrecker who needs to pick a side, booo hiiiiss, grab your pitchforks and burn the witch.

And I remember, I remember looking to my senior editor who was also my friend at the time, a poly bisexual, mentally ill woman and saying “what the fuck Rebecca” (yes, her name was actually Becky) and she looked at me over our skype call and said “You want to keep your job? Deal with it.”

Because you see, Marketing reigns supreme, and Marketing doesn’t give a shit about people like you and me. It doesn’t care if the neurodivergent person wants to see people like them in fiction, it doesn’t care that people of color want to be more than just the friend/villain, they don’t care that there is more to LGBTQIA+ than the L and specifically the G, it doesn’t care if disabled people want to be represented as more than someone ele’s story arc prop. They don’t care they, don’t care, and do you know why so many publishing houses look down on indie publishing and self published authors and try to call them hacks? Because we don’t give a fuck that they don’t care and we’re doing what we want anyway.

Oh sure you get the usual “but the work is so unpolished, no one has vetted it, it’s just bad, this is why we need publishers to stop the crap from rising to the top”—and yet Fifty Shades of Grey still gets a multi-billion dollar production budget and to the top of the best seller list—do you see, where I am going with this? They’re not interested in selling the best they are just interested in selling, and we are living in a society that has a system designed specifically to a quite literally straight and narrow demographic. So of course XYZ stories sell well, of course they do, because that is where the vast majority of marketing goes, to make sure you buy into it. And Romance…Romance is a lucrative industry to be in if you can get the weight of that campaign behind you…but if you can’t? Well, not only do you have to compete with lack of funding and resources, but also the pervasive lie that because you’re not affiliated directly with X Publishing House or Y Agency, you are not good enough, and no one will want to read your story.

And that’s a bunch of baloney. It’s so much baloney you can slap it between two slices of bread and cover it in mustard because the whole thing is a ham.

Do you know what I would have loved growing up? (And still would) Stories about girls who liked people regardless of gender—and who wasn’t conflicted over it because people are people and gender is fluid and irrelevant to love. Stories about people with mental health issues, where the person is still loved and shown as functional, with their mental health issues, not despite. Stories about disabled and ill people who have fulfilling lives whose arc doesn’t revolve around being brave for simply existing or how much of a saint their families/loved ones are for putting up with them. And do you know what I get instead, even now as an adult who has worked in the industry that sells these stories? I get things like Fifty Shades of Domestic Abuse, and train wrecks like You Before Me where the death of the disabled person is seen as a romantic gesture of selflessness that sets the love interest free to fully live her life. HOW FUCKING FUCKED UP IS THAT. Oh you can argue with me all you want that wasn’t  Moyes intent when she was writing it, but it damn well was the end result.

Yes, Romance is lacking, and yes it needs revamped, it needs more cultural diversity, it needs more inclusion, it needs so many things—but it also needs for people to not want to not write for it because it’s “fluffy” and cheap, like somehow they are selling their souls away. 

I’ve got friends who have written amazing, diverse stories told from their point of view…but they won’t ever get them published because as soon as you mention self publishing or the Romance industry they turn their noses up. And they’re shooting themselves in the foot in doing so, because there ain’t no way a story about XYZ is going to make it in a sci-fi house, no matter who much tech you add in. On the flipside of that, I’ve also got a friend who has written about her experiences as a Black queer disabled woman and it’s filled with relationships and great life stuff and so funny…but she can’t get it published anywhere because she’s been explicitly made to feel like she doesn’t belong in the genre because her stories are too complex, they’re too different they’re too comedic…too…too…too (the list goes on). And that’s awful because Romance is a genre that is primarily about people and if you as a Romance house are telling me you can’t sell a story about people, boy are we well and truly fucked.

The biggest criticism of the Romance genre shouldn’t be that it’s too damn happy and therefore unrealistic and nothing but fluff. What’s unrealistic is the complete lack of diversity and inclusion in the genre that makes it so alienating that a huge part of our society immediately feels like they don’t belong. 

And that’s a bigger problem than fluff.

So great, yes fine, Romance isn’t for you, you can tell me all the time that you don’t like Romance and I will cheerfully talk to you about literally anything else. But don’t ever tell me you don’t like Romance because it’s simple and fluffy when there’s a whole wealth of actual problematic shit to dislike it for.

And to you, yes you, I’m talking to you. You with the idea in the back of your head and the worry that you’ll never be a Serious Author because all you want to write about is romance and people and angst and fluff and also thinking no one wants to read stories about people like you: take that idea and run with with it, learn from your experiences and keep doing it some more and maybe one day we’ll have the publishing industry we deserve that will acknowledge you. But until then: Rebel and Do It Anyway.

🎶 🎶 🎶 🎶 🎶

The funnest parts, to me at least, about being into Kpop while not(currently) speaking Korean, is looking up a song I really enjoy and finding out the lyrics and meaning the song was portraying. 
But one of the most interesting thing about Kpop, to me, is the ability to feel the emotions without even knowing what they’re saying. I can’t tell you how many times I end up crying over a song that is actually really up beat, then find out the lyrics were really saddening. So, here’s a list of my favorite songs(and some songs in general) that have insanely beautiful and/or meaningful lyrics. Enjoy.


Truly the ‘I am a boss ass bitch’ anthem in my mind. A a club-worthy beat, topped with lyrics screaming about self-worth and body confidence, 2NE1′s song is definitely one that makes you feel like a Queen, and damn ready to show the world your power.

I refuse to be compared
I’m telling you the truth
If we’re talking about my value
I’m a billion dollar baby


Basically a 180 from 2NE1′s song, Toy touches on the feelings of being so low in your own thoughts and being nothing more than a toy for someone to play with until they’re bored of you, to be so consumed and desperate for love and affection, one doesn’t really care that it’s not truly love and affect their getting. 

When I’m no longer useful you would secretly throw me away
If only I can be remembered
Even just a little bit
Everything, I do it for you
I’m a toy, toy

TAEYEON- 11:11

(I believe, I read this once, but can’t find the article again)
The lyrics’ writer’s original meaning was towards her deceased father and wishing he was with her again, the song’s lyrics were altered a bit to fit into wishing for her former lover to be back again, and trying to overcome the breakup in a beautiful melody.

Everything finds its place and leaves
You took all of me and left
But like the two hands of the clock in my heart
I keep lingering in the same place


Honestly 2NE1 are such a girl’s best friend when it comes to life. Both songs touch on being cheated on, and putting themselves first and not putting up with such an unforgivable act.

For that lipstick on your collar
I can’t ever forgive you
Every day, your phone’s always off
It doesn’t seem like you’re going to change oh oh


The first time I read the lyrics, it honestly made my heart flutter, it was so sweet. The lyrics are full of the positive message of loving oneself and not looking for flaws that don’t exist, or simply don’t matter and just because they’re there, doesn’t make us unattractive or ugly in the slightest.

No matter how much I take you apart
And look and look at you
I can’t find that part of yourself
That you think isn’t pretty


Topped with a very explicit video, both MV and lyrics heavily express and talk about a frustrating relationship and unwanted sexual advances, something I found really enjoyable and brave for a song seeing as there’s so many songs that have such underlying assault lyrics that it concerns me.

Fxxk U, don’t want it now
I don’t wanna lay down next to you as if it’s natural
Fxxk U, you know, Fxxk U
I don’t wanna do it like this
This isn’t how I feel


Theorized to be a goodbye song to past members, the ‘annual sad Christmas EXO song’ expresses fondness for an unseen/spoken for individual, singing words of love and adoration for someone long lost. 
Playing into the theory, the lyrics never indicate a significant other or female as most ‘love’ songs do, so I find myself agreeing with the song being a sad goodbye to memories made with the ex-exo members.

The way you cry, the way you smile
I wonder how much they mean to me
The words that I regretted when I looked back
I will apologize but just listen
I will sing for you, sing for you
Just act casually


Lyrics that portray their emotions and thoughts after a breakup, that seems to be built on material wants, the cash, the diamonds, the pearls you spend, it’s nice to see lyrics that recognize an unhealthy relationship and although feeling the emotions of this person clinging tightly and refusing to leave them be, they stand their own and refuse to fall back into the relationship.

I barely fell asleep late at night
The ringing sound wakes me up
But I turn around and close my eyes


A beautiful tribute to RiSe and EunB, members of Ladies’ Code that were in a car accident and ultimately succumbed to their injuries, the song regardless of knowing the lyrics is full of such raw emotion from the mourning girls that you can’t help but cry either way. 

But I won’t cry, so you won’t feel bad
I’ll try living without you now
No matter how much it hurts, even if tears keep coming
I wanna smile, I wanna think of you and smile


I gotta be honest, I stopped watching BTS’ MVs because they make me crying instantly? I don’t know what that’s about…but never the less, lyrics of a relationship that has changed, the lose of a friend and longing for things to be remembered and erased.

Did you change?
Or did I change?
I hate even this moment that is passing
I guess we changed
I guess that’s how everything is


Though not as hard hitting in the upbeat live performance of said song, the lyrics punch you in the gut none the less. Spinning emotions of not being the idea beauty in the world of Kpop and South Korea, 2NE1′s song expresses one’s desires to be just like her, I wanna be pretty.

I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty
I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me
I’m pretty


Lyrics that really punch you in the throat about how low people think of themselves, Loser spins an image of self-worth, or more or less the lack of confidence in yourself that I think everyone can relate to at some point or another.

Honestly, I’ve never fit in with the world
I was always alone
It’s been a long time since I’ve forgotten about love
I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore
You and me both
We’re just sad clowns, tamed, and scripted

Flashes (Part 1)

Summary: Soulmate AU. “The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” - William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,783

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, angst, sadness, borderline depression, sarcasm, did I mention language? might be hard to read for lonely hearts like me.

A/N: Well, I did it…at least I tried. The lovely @minervaem challenged me (sort of) to do an angsty story, so here we go. I’m warning you now, it’s not gonna be pretty. Anyways, it’s only four parts, so only pre-existing permanent tags will be added to this story. Reminder: If you want to be removed from the permanent tag list you need to msg me! Sorry in advance. There’s four parts to this story.

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

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Let’s call this a public service announcement:
When you aren’t queer and you use the word fag
in your poem, in your argument, in your story
about an oppression that doesn’t belong to you,
when you use it to make a point,
you aren’t an ally, anymore.
That word is still a slur in your mouth,
no matter your “good intentions.”
When you use it for shock value,
you reduce all our history into flinch,
into knuckles on jawbone, into sympathy porn.
Exploitation in sheep’s clothing still bears its teeth.
That word is just as violent in the hands of a loved one—
after all, we don’t expect it from you.
And you have no right to defang a revolution
you’ve never had to fight for.
My life is not the prop in your sob story.
There is blood on the walls in Orlando, Florida.
Springfield, Massachusetts. Medford, Oregon.
Laramie, Wyoming. Syracuse. San Francisco. Manhattan.
In 1969, the first Pride was a riot.
In 2016, the 47th Pride is a massacre.
It’s 2016, and I still hear straight poets use the word
and think themselves enlightened.
How could you let a word like that sit so comfortable
between your teeth when you’ve never had it thrown at you?
When you don’t know that kind of bite.
When your love has never been called into question,
when you get be the default.
Sticks and stones may break our bones but words
keep frightened kids in the closet. It does not
make you brave to use the language of our murderers,
our bullies,
our parents.
Remember that there were those who saw the AIDs crisis
not as an epidemic, but as a cleansing. Remember
that there are still people who view my existence,
not as a miracle but as a sickness.
When you are not queer, you don’t understand the luxury
of never having to put your own body on the witness stand
and made it testify against itself.
You don’t see that word reflected in the jury of your peers.
So, no. You can’t have it. Not as a plot point,
not as punctuation, not as the freakshow circus attraction
in your carnival of a mouth.
Your good intentions are useless currency, here.
For us, simply existing will always be a radical, political act of bravery
and I don’t want to be brave, anymore.
I just want to be alive.
—  SLUR by Ashe Vernon

Congratulations to you if you’ve been able to find a same-gender partner despite the overwhelming obstacles in your way. You do genuinely deserve praise for that. And I believe that it is brave to exist as an LGBT person who moves through the world with a visible target on your back. But you don’t have a monopoly on LGBT struggles and you are not braver or better than LGBT people who are closeted or simply aren’t visibly LGBT. You don’t get to tell LGBT people who aren’t as “visible” that their experiences are “odd” or “strange”. We all have complex and varying relationships to homophobia/transphobia, gender, and sexuality. 

hey just my o'pinion but why the fuck are people like “it’s so brave for you to come out as a radfem…!!!” yeah, like fuckin terfs are in any real danger when they reveal themselves to be transmisogynist? they’re not. thanks for telling the world you’re a transphobe when 90% of the time you will literally face no repercussions for doing so, meanwhile trans people, especially trans women, face death simply for existing and being out.

basically what i’m getting at is if you think you’re in any real danger for openly being a terf then you’re an irredeemably terrible person, i’m not sorry

anonymous asked:

P1/2 I sent Jess a multi rant the other day about anon hate. She only got the 1st part but what didn't send said how dare you send hate as anon. I'm anon bc I'm shy. Idk why everyone here is lovely. Anon hate is different. You're not anon bc you're shy. You're anon bc you're being an asshole, you know it's wrong & you don't want your name associated. One anon to another-stop. Stop being angry at the bloggers brave enough to voice their opinion openly simply bc you're too cowardly to be known...

P2/2…speaking as an anon I truly think it’s all jealousy. It’s why most bullies exist. Why you guys continue to get hate whether you’re shipping or not. Your blogs are all still popular regardless of how you fan. I doubt hate anons can say that, if they have blogs. But ppl who go anonymously do it for a reason & it’s clear who’s cowardly using anon as a scapegoat vs us shy ones in the corner lol. As an anon it’s a huge pet peeve of mine ppl take this method to be mean w/o consequence.

Originally posted by minionnation

(but I also want to say: the reason I continue and will continue to keep my inbox open is because I’d say 95% of the anons I get are absolutely wonderful, like yourself, and I’d hate to close my inbox just bc a couple cowardly assholes feel the need to spew their bullshit. so anyway, ily anon. thanks for giving the feature a good name xoxo)


Can you crack the typographic code?

Barry Spencer makes letters that may or may not look like letters. A Type Designer and Doctor from Melbourne, he labels himself, a ‘Speculative Type Designer’ and explores the boundaries between letterform and symbol.

Clara, his latest typeface is no exception. It’s design and message are encrypted. Below, Barry issues you a challenged to unlock his design…

Cryptic Clara and her Search For Clarity

Within this text lies the key to decoding my cryptic artwork. A few subtle clues are riddled throughout the information, so attention to detail is important for decrypting the letterforms.

The first person to decode the type and tell me how I created the letterforms will be rewarded. Good luck!

The Natural Order…

Clara is a typeface that is specifically designed to be challenging and against the natural order of things. However, from experience I know that it’s considered a great sin to sever the ties to the existing Latin alphabet in this way, even when born from twisted typographical fun and entertainment.

Letterforms like these are prime to invite adverse reactions from those prone to more traditional perspectives of type design because making shapes that are intentionally hard (or near impossible) for people to read adds another level of abstraction onto the already abstract Latin forms that we have become familiar with in our daily lives. Essentially, this makes them lose their purpose — communication. However, what if this was the intention from the start? Does that re-imbue the shapes with an assigned purpose? The challenge of decipherment.

Divided Time…

In my work I enjoy the challenge of pushing my perception and understanding of letterforms. I constantly to advance my knowledge (and appreciation) for the potential of letters every day, in each and every project I create. However, I did not arrive at this approach overnight.

My letterforms started out as small experimental deviations away from the existing shapes and these small changes led to larger and more experimental trials, before finally moving into far removed speculations that explore what might happen if we follow more extreme and unusual ideas.

This led to the completion my doctoral thesis “Speculatype” in 2014 and I have spent the last couple of years divided time between a mixture of three things: creating, writing and teaching (with public speaking and workshops thrown in for good measure).

Out of Our Comfort Zone…

My argument revolves around our ability as designers and creatives to explore our professions and outcomes more than what we might think possible. Creatively, we have the ability to question the status quo and the existing understanding of what we do and make.

Asking, “what if I did it this way instead of this way?” is a simple question that leads us to try new things and allows us to potentially innovate. Removing ourselves from the comfort of doing things the same way as everyone else (which might be considered another “sin”), challenges us in new and interesting ways.

Because We Can…

If there is something to take away from this text and the connected artwork, is that our creative gifts should be seen as a prized possession. It is not an easy thing to go against what we see as the “right way to do things”, we fear the “wrong” because it does not always lead to success and more often leads us to failure, ridicule or simply dead ends.

Be brave in what you do and how you create. If it doesn’t work, at least you tried. Existing letterforms, design and art will not go away, so it is not going to destroy the world you take the time to have a play.

 Barry Spencer

anonymous asked:

The world has been cruel, and yet you remain kind. You exist with so much love in your heart that others can simply feel it overflowing when you talk to them. You are brave during a time that no child should ever have to go through. I am proud of you. Even with ups and downs and hard nights and good days, I have and always will be so proud of you. Do not let the world make you hard. Don't let it take away your light. You are good and pure, I promise. You are whole. - a friend.

i’m…. not crying or anything what

If my child were to sit me down and bravely come out as gay, bi, lesbian, trans, etc, I’d simply look at them. I would feel everything they were feeling. I would try to understand. Then I’d get up, give them a big hug, and take them shopping. I already love my non-existing children to death. They mean the world to me, and I have not met them yet.

rest in peace Leelah. I wish your parents could have accepted you like I would have.


They mock our safe spaces
Say that we’re whiny weak whippershappers who are part of the pathetically pitiful participation trophy generation


They are afraid of our very existence

Me taking a breath as a queer gender non-conforming woman who gives no fucks about their social norms and doesn’t want to participate nicely in their oppressive patriarchal, racist, sexist, ableist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, capitalist structures and fucking wears white shoes after Labor Day because I do what I want
Scares them.
They are afraid of us.
They are afraid of us
For simply being us.

Some would say that they’re not afraid
That they’re angry
Or disgusted as one alt-right Twitter egg told me.
Because homophobia doesn’t exist–no one is AFRAID of the gays. They’re disgusted by them.
And that Twitter egg rejoiced that my “weak blood line” would be dying out. But what that egg didn’t know
Was that they were confirming the very fact that I scare them.
That me having children
And me raising children to be like me
Makes them shake in their boots that apparently have bootstraps strong enough to pull themselves up by
Because nobody ever gave them anything goddammit

“We are a homophobic racist’s
Worst nightmare”
She said.
An interracial couple
Not afraid to kiss on the plane
Subjecting the passengers nearby
To our shameless conversation about fighting racism on all fronts
An affront
To humanity
Is what we are called
Yet when did they ever
Respect humanity
To begin with?
They don’t respect our humanity
When all we want is the dignity of humanity to be a guarantee.
For equality
To be the normality.

In the wise words of a famous green space alien with mastery of both the living force and the dying art of swamp survival
(It is of Yoda, of course, that I speak):
“Fear leads to anger
Anger leads to hate
Hate leads to suffering.”
So know that our suffering
Is rooted in their fear
Not in any fault of ours.
You are perfect
You are loved
You are needed.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t brave
For you are your ancestors’ wildest dreams
You have the power to inspire fear
Simply by BEING
Even though we don’t want to be feared
We aren’t scary
We’re simply visionary
Okay, maybe we are a little scary


We just want to be
We just want to live
We just want to survive
We just want to exist
We just want to be
We just want to be
We just want to be


–L. Tenney, 2016

Twice in this season it has been implied that Regina’s victims are only brave, strong, hopeful people thanks to her.

First, Snow telling Regina “You taught me how to have hope.” Regina taught Snow how to have hope. Snows optimism in the face of terror and darkness is not due to the fact that Snow is hopeful and brave because she is, it’s because Regina abused her so much. Regina made Snow strong, she isn’t strong on her own. I don’t know about you, but  I feel that is a kick in the teeth for Snow fans. 

Secondly, 6x10, where it is implied that Emma is only strong because of Regina’s abuse. That the Emma we know and love would not have existed without Regina tearing her family apart and forcing her into an abusive and neglectful foster system where she was forced to do whatever to survive. If Regina hadn’t done that to her, she’d have been weak and spineless. Because Emma’s pain “makes me me”. Again, Emma is not strong and brave simply because she is, her good traits came from Regina’s abuse. This episode was a slap in the face for Ugly Ducklings.

Can this show stop pushing the idea that being abused makes you strong? That victims should thank their abusers for making them brave and “teaching them how to have hope?”

anonymous asked:

Some more Solo family feels: a very young Ben dresses up in his father's old clothes and makes Han pretend to be an Imperial officer while holding him at gunpoint (with a wooden blaster carved by Chewie) so he can save the princess. (Leia of course)

It had been a long time since Leia had played the role of princess. She had since become a Rebel leader, a New Republic senator, and a mother. Now she was revisiting her past—or some loose adaptation of it, anyways.

A princess wasn’t expected to do much, Leia lamented wryly to herself. She was stretched languidly across the sofa, waiting for “rescue,” while voices sounded from the room across.

“Hold it right there, Rebel scum.”

“No, Daddy, you’ve got to say it like for real!”

“Fine, fine. Hold it right there, Rebel scum!”

Keep reading

Intrusive thoughts

I have learned it’s not about shutting out the thoughts, because that backfires.

Don’t think of an out of control lawnmower rampaging through several people’s gardens to a jaunty and humorous tune like the Benny Hill theme or Maple Leaf Rag. Don’t think of it. Stop thinking about how absurd it is. Are you amused or bored or annoyed or indifferent about the lawnmower? DOESN’T MATTER YOU SHOULDN’T BE THINKING ABOUT IT. I bet you can even tell me what colour the lawnmower is and whose gardens it’s ruining. God damn you’re doing such a bad job of ignoring your thoughts about the lawnmower. Good effort though. Stop humming that jaunty tune.

What I’ve learned is the more you try to push something to the back of your mind the more power it has when it manages to penetrate your conscious thoughts. I’ve learned that if you accept the presence of the thought then you can start to deal with it. If it’s irrational then you can begin to challenge it, if it makes you feel impulsive then you can make sure you are safe, if it makes you extremely sad or ashamed then you can ride out those emotions while taking good care of yourself.

Accepting the presence of a troubling or intrusive thought can be very liberating, it gives you back the power when you say “Yes, I hear you, I accept that you exist, I am going to try to cope with you, I believe that I can probably handle this.”
It’s about trusting yourself to use your coping skills in a positive way and to take the power away from the thoughts rather than saying “No, you’re too intense and I can’t cope with you and you have to leave me alone now, why aren’t you leaving?!”
When you trust yourself to TRY to cope then you’re acknowledging that you do have the position of power over your own mind and you’re going to do this scary, intense and super brave thing because you’re taking the power back.

Allowing my most troubling thoughts to simply exist and trusting myself to cope with the emotions and to rationally challenge thoughts makes me feel so strong and capable. Like, look at me carrying on strutting my stuff taking pride in my achievements when my brain is trying to tell me I’m a failure, look at me challenging my thoughts with all the evidence contrary to those beliefs, look at me being forgiving and kind to myself whenever I stumble or fall or give up for a moment, look at me redefining what “failure” means and what “perfect” means and taking the power away from those words and those thoughts by making them utterly meaningless.

I am spending so much energy on this but it’s as much energy as it took to block them out and this approach is actually taking me somewhere positive.

That doesn’t mean to say there isn’t a time when distraction techniques are appropriate, and I’m not saying we should all jump head first into a cacophony of scary thoughts and start miraculously coping. I’m saying little by little you start to challenge your old way of coping.

It can only start when you recognise that what you’re currently doing isn’t working and it takes willingness to believe that there might be other ways of coping and a willingness to try them out and to commit to improving your coping skills.

Agent Carter. What Peggy did for Marvel and other TV shows.

With the end of season one coming soon to an end and season two currently being unconfirmed I want to look back and go through some things and people that made Agent Carter special. At least for me. 

But let’s start with what kind of TV series is Agent Carter anyway. It’s a action, adventure drama origin story with the social aspects of hardships being a woman in the 40’s set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. When you read it, it sounds complicated but trust me, it’s worth it. 

If you’re not familiar with the Peggy Carter and you think Marvel and super heroes are not for you, don’t judge and don’t worry. Agent Carter explains everything and no super heroes in capes won’t show up either. Think about it as action version of Mad Men for Marvel fans with cool gadges and better camera. And that’s saying something. 

Agent Carter follows Peggy Carter in post war times as she works for the Strategic Scientific Reserve, trying to earn real tasks and respect from her co-workers when her old friend, billionaire and inventor Howard Stark asks her for help while being charged with treason. Doesn’t sound too nerdy, does it? Well, it can turn into solid nergasm but let’s talk about that later.

First thing I wanna talk is ensemble. Starring Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter and James D'Arcy as Edwin Jarvis, Howard Stark’s butler. Hayley Atwell played already in the first Captain America movie and the praise she received is the biggest reason Agent Carter even exist. Hayley Atwell is playing strong woman, sometimes even harsh who’s weight down every day but is keeping it together because she simply believes in better world. Edwin Jarvis is on the other hand distinguished man for whom driving on the red lights is going the extra mile. But as Peggy, he’s loyal and as we’re shown even brave. In terms of acting Jarvis could be described as Marvel’s Sherlock. Creating a funny banter between the two main charaters.

Without spoilers it’s hard to describe the supporting cast, because Agent Carter’s character develoment is huge but let’s say you gonna meet lovely Lyndsy Fonseca as Angie Martinelli, Peggy’s loyal and curious friend. Her 3 most notable co-workes, agent Sousa played by Enver Gjokaj, agent Thompson played by Chad Michael Murray and SSR chief Dooley played by Shea Whigham. But the list goes on and on.

And we can’t forget Dominic Cooper as Howard Stark. 

Acting in general is great, there’s a few scenes when actors simply over act but nothing to be mad about. Main treats are of course Hayley Atwell and James D'Arcy. These two created the best Marvel duo since Thor and Loki. 

Great cast. What else is great? Cinematography. And the name you maybe don’t know, Gabriel Beristain. He created that feel of the 40’s. Using both digital and analog techiques. True, some shots feel like they’ve been ran through Instagram filters but in the end it feels like real 40’s. 

Another thing are sets. To be honest, this show must spent every single dollar. It looks spectacular. For example, the diner where Angie is working, it’s a real treat. Every single detail in it. Every single straw in the milkshake is there for a reason. 

One of the reason why it feels so different is general warmness of the sets. When you look for example on the another Marvel TV series, Agents of Shield, sets are modern, cool looking but cold. Steel table frankly isn’t gonna treat your eyes as classic wooden table with an even more classic green lamp. 

Fashion. And again I’ll give you name. Giovanna Ottobre-Melton. And it was a challenge. Giovanna Ottobre-Melton stated that she was researching for months to get the true feel of the 40’s. Plus, every single character has it’s unique style. For example every agent wears different style of suits. Vintage pieces were used as well. There’s much thinking into fashion choices for every single character. 

In this category is Agent Carter at the top of the TV production. Only few shows can match with costumes in Agent Carter. 

And now we’re getting into the nerdy stuff. Let’s start with gadges. From type writer that can send messages across ocean to mass effect implosion device, every single one of them has unique retro style and even a name. Imagine Q from Bond going crazy in the 40’s. But don’t worry, you gonna see Peggy with her signature Thompson M1A1. Polished Thompson. 

One thing is gonna hit you as well. Fight scenes. They’re great. Creators probably watched new generation of Bond movies. It looks, even for TV show, very real and painful. Peggy’s kicking ass. 

Writing. Let’s be honest, this is the category where is Agent Carter still in the working progress. Storyline of the first season is solid and interesting but lacks, mainly in the middle of the season, some kinda progress. And some episodes are kinda empty. Which isn’t good for a 8 part series. But second half of the season is full of reveals and cool plot that you will forget those few episodes. 

Let’s talk about Marvel Universe now. Most notable is a simple one, Edwin Jarvis. Edwin Jarvis is gonna be mentor of the young Tony Stark aka Iron Man, son of Howard Stark. Tony then names his AI, J.A.R.V.I.S. We also maybe gonna find who’s gonna be Peggy’s husband who was saved by the another man in Peggy’s life. Captain America. And of course… No, that would be major spoiler. 

Another easter eggs are kinda spoilery but let’s say it include possible origin story of one of the Avengers, one bad guy before he was bad guy and MAYBE premise to one of the upcoming Marvel movies. So far. 

So what are those answers from the title?

Let’s start with the Marvel. When the time come and Agent Carter ends Marvel is gonna have covered blank time period between end of war and creation of the S.H.I.E.L.D. And with that, possible ways to a new film (already annouced). Also, it’s a nice way to explain one question from the Avengers 2 trailers. And to show the original Jarvis, moment that Iron Man fans waited for a very long time. 

And of course, fans were calling after Hayley Atwell after seeing short Agent Carter film. If you didn’t, go watch it now. 

And what is legacy of Agent Carter on TV in general? That you can make strong story about woma(e)n in the men’s world set in past and it doesn’t have to be “simple” drama. You have more choices then paths of Mad Men or Masters of Sex. With all the possible respect to these shows. 

So let’s hope in season 2 and more awsome stories from this still undiscovered and exotic period of Marvel Universe. 

Some people have a problem with female characters who need to be rescued.

A lot of the time, I agree. The damsel in distress is a trope. The damsel is helpless to do anything about her situation until it is fixed for her, from the outside, by a man.

In the true trope, she then promptly falls in love with her rescuer, wedding bells are heard and a happy ending is had.

The problem with these kinds of stories is that they remove all agency from the female character and put it on the male character. In fact, the rescue is not done to further her storyline - it is done to further his.

The reaction, then, is to say you can’t have a female character need rescuing, ever. This is one of the things that leads into the “strong female character” trope. By making the woman the best fighter around, you remove the need to ever rescue her.

Here’s the thing, though? There’s nothing wrong with needing to be rescued.

For example, in Elizabeth Moon’s The Deed of Paksenarrion trilogy, Paksenarrion has to be rescued. She gets captured by Iynisin - that world’s equivalent of drow - and her friends really do have to rescue her. But anyone who has read those books knows Paks is a long way from being a damsel, rather closer to a strong female character. Additionally, there’s no chance of her falling in love with her rescuer, given she is quite explicitly an aromantic asexual.

A hero, any hero, can get herself into a position where she needs to be rescued, and there’s no shame in that - as many cops, first responders and military people can testify.

The key is that the capture and subsequent need to be rescued should not serve the narrative solely of the rescuers. A character should not be created and exist entirely to be rescued. (literally or metaphorically). If the rescue serves the purpose of advancing the development and storyline of both or all of the characters involved, then it transcends the trope even if you have a man rescuing the woman he loves. Having to be rescued in and of itself does not rob a character of agency.

Take Jupiter Ascending. When Caine rescues Jupiter from marrying Titus, he is, yes, rescuing the beautiful princess he loves from a loveless marriage she has been tricked into. And it’s not the only time he rescues her. There’s a case to be made that Jupiter lacks agency, but every time she gets into a scrape, she learns something. What the complaint really means is that she’s not a strong female character - she’s an ordinary girl who is completely in over her head but who, in the end, makes the right decisions, the ones that protect her family and her world. Jupiter keeps needing to be rescued because she is a fish out of water in galactic society, not because she is a weak vessel, and the story ultimately is hers, not Caine’s. The repeated rescues are not there merely to bolster Caine’s manliness, but rather to show Jupiter’s struggles to work out a world in which she was not raised, one which is corrupt and evil and very much against her.

The takeaway, I think, is that while there is definitely something to be said for avoiding princesses in towers, you don’t need to completely fixate on “a man must never rescue a woman” (Although I love to read stories that subvert the trope). What you need to do is make sure that a man rescuing a woman is not simply done to make the man look good. The problem with the princess in the tower is not that the woman has got herself locked away, it’s that the only reason she exists is to make the male hero look brave and to give him a prize at the end of his journey. And if that’s really all she is, a tool to make a man a hero, then she’s a sexy lamp.

tl;dr - nothing wrong with having your female characters need to be rescued from something every now and then, something wrong if that’s the only reason they exist.

Chasing you (Part one)

Originally posted by exfuckcharming

Prompt: Imagine you are an immortal and you find your s/o once more after having lost them once again many years before. (Credence and Percival Graves as the s/o)

Warnings: Established prior relationship, Immortal Reader

Pairings: Percival Graves x Reader or Credence Barebones x Reader

Word count: 645 words

Universe: Fantastic beasts and where to find them - Harry Potter 1920’s

Reader gender: Female

Author: Ilariya_Lavoro writes

Tagged:@porpentiny​  @just-my-soul-and-brain

New York, 1925

You had finally found him once more.

This was another beginning, one you had longed for over the long years since you had last clapped your eyes upon him in all his glory.

It was hard to believe that he was mere meters from where you were standing. What was stopping you from rushing over, throwing your arms around him and holding him tight was one simple reason. He wouldn’t remember, he wouldn’t know you. His last death was never easy nor would it ever get easier.

It had been years since you had last been held by him, since you last had tasted his lips. It had been years since you last had truly been happy. You were life was never ending, never stopping. You were forever moving forward and even death passed you by. You possessed the blessing and a curse that was immortality, to walk the world and see it’s ending and it’s beginning. You never knew the how and why but this was how your life was to be. You would live to see each age that the world would go through until there was nothing but darkness.

Your memory however unlike your life span was not unlimited. You could remember so much, no more than a hundred years worth of memory at time before you simply forgot what came before. You had taken to recording down the most important of these memories into journals to read over and remember.

You barely could recall your parents anymore, they were a blur that lingered in the back of your mind which grew weaker with every passing year. You no longer remembered where you came from or where you had originally intended to go. For now that did not matter, you could always discover this piece of information of one of earlier volumes of your journal but this would and could wait for another day.There was one thing you could never forget.


Your lover, your best friend, your everything.

He had been there since the very beginning. Your first, last and truest love, the man who you had been chasing through the last three hundred years. You never knew when you would find him. Would be still be a boy for you to watch from a distance as he grew.

Would he be a man that you could bump into one day on the street. There was always the chance that you would happen upon him when he had grown old, his hair white as snow after having lived his life with another.Each was a possibility that you had faced at least once in your long lifetime before the cycle began again.

Your souls were tied together by a red string pulling you continually back together. Could you take that leap of faith once more? Love him wholeheartedly with the chance he had found another. He could reject the very idea that you were never ending and that you had been searching for any trace of his existence. You had lived so many different lifetimes with him but your love for him had never faded away, had never ended. The flame kept burning throughout the storm that was your life.

Your hand twitched restlessly as every memory both good and bad came flooding back to you. You could simply apparate away, escape without looking back. Regret washed over you, your stomach turned as you mulled over the very thought of it. It wasn’t an option that you were comfortable with unless you were certain he would be happiest without the knowledge that you existed.

‘I can do this’ You repeated internally over and over again as you bravely took the first step towards him. You first had to discover his new name. You had a goal to achieve now regardless of what came after.

To be continued

theofficialfifthharmony waakeme-up HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SUNSHINE,LIFE AND LOVE!! OMG! You turning 18 today! OMG! What can i say..i don’t know if you read this but all the words in the world can not explain how much you and the girls I’ve changed my life. you’re the most beautiful person that may exist on the planet, you are kind,intelligent,adorable but most important you are BRAVE HONEST AND BEAUTIFUL ♡thanks for simply being yourself thanks for being my inspiration .. my idol .. thanks for love us your HARMONIZERS and thanks for trying to help me love myself day by day, but even if you’re growing up (and too quickly T.T) you’ll always be my baby♡ I’m so proud of you and all the way we have done together over the years up to here .. till your first tour .. I’m so excited to see what’s next! I love you more than anything else Mila ♡♡ Fifth Harmony & Harmonizers= FAMILY ♡ ps. I still can’t believe that you’re 18 T.T

Warning: if you are easily offended by criticism of anything people have over-romanticised, do not read this.

Army men are not heroes

Kissing his unborn child just before he goes off to kill children and their parents in a foreign country because, you know, being brown/non american/muslim/anything the USA deems a threat to their greedy existence is cause for them to believe they’re terrorists. How lovely <3<3<3

It annoys me that I see pictures of Army men all over tumblr and everyone just gushes and falls apart with pride at seeing them. People have created this illusions that by simply being in the army you are a brave, selfless individual who stands for all things good in the world. Bullshit.

Seriously, when will people get that having an army uniform does not automatically make you a hero? You are nothing but a pawn in a game of mass destruction and you have willingly chosen to be a part of it. You’re only special in the sense that you think you’re doing good by obeying orders without thinking about them. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

Stop making them out to be heroes simply for their decision to join the army. Stop acting as if their PTSD wasn’t self-inflicted, something they knew was a more than probable chance of happening before they went out into the field. Stop acting like they’re heroes, they’re drones.