BTS Scenario: I Need U
Jung Hoseok X Reader
“But you’re my everything. I’m sorry. I love you. Forgive me.”
Summary: You and Hoseok broke up, and you’d made it clear that it was over. However, he deeply regrets it to the point where it begins to eat him away and he won’t leave you be until he has the chance to prove to you that he needs you back.
Word Count: ~3.4k
I got super into writing this one, it’s a bit longer than I intended, but I hope you guys like it!
Thank you to @stacey4673 for the request!
***I do not own the gif**
“Are you kidding me?” You quietly cursed yourself for not packing an umbrella before you’d left the house. You hurriedly made your way back to your apartment as the rain began to fall in steady, heavy droplets.
When you finally reached your apartment, you quickly unlocked the door while kicking off your damp shoes and attempting to avoid dripping water all over the floor. You reached into your back pocket to pull out your phone, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing that it wasn’t completely drenched like the rest of you. The screen lit up at once to indicate a new voicemail from none other than – your recent ex-boyfriend.
Were you even surprised to yet another voicemail from Hoseok? He’d begun to fill your inbox not even two weeks after you broke up. You’d told him you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. However, you couldn’t help but be the slightest bit curious as to what he had to say to you after all the nasty things that were said in your final argument leading up to the split. For all you knew, the messages could be filled with things he’d forgotten to insult you on during the fight, but still, you found yourself pressing the playback button to listen to what he’d left.
“Hello? Jagi, it’s me…I know you won’t pick up the phone and you probably haven’t listened to the other voicemails, but I just wanted to feel like you were still there. I know I’ve said it every message but…I miss you. I just called to say…well, uh…did you see the rain?” he paused for a moment to let out an awkward laugh, “Hey, do you remember when we got caught in the rain without an umbrella because you had told me to bring one, but I was too forgetful? And do you remember how we ran through the rain together hand in hand, and then we laughed at how silly we looked running into that shop with our clothes dripping wet? You scolded me later for it because I ended up getting sick. Although I felt shameful then, I’d do anything to experience that day again.”
The phone beeped, indicating that the message had ended. Hoseok had sounded so upset in his message, but you felt anger bubbling up inside you. He didn’t seem so sorry when you’d broken up, so what was with the sympathy now? Was he trying to make you feel guilty about dumping him?
You were filled with absolute irritation for your ex-boyfriend, but for some reason, you felt compelled to listen to the other voicemails. You scrolled further down to the first of nearly thirty voicemails that Hoseok had flooded your phone with and pressed play.
“Jagi, I know you told me to never call you again, but I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said, I regret making you cry like that. I miss you so much jagi. It’s only been a week and I feel like I’m dying without you. Please, call me back.”
“Y/N…it’s 3 am. I can’t stop thinking about you. Do you remember when I’d call you in the middle of the night sometimes because I couldn’t sleep and you’d get annoyed with me at first, but then you’d talk to me with your soothing voice until the early hours of the morning? I miss your voice…I can’t sleep without hearing it. Jagi…jagi please call me. Just grant me your sweet voice.”
“Jagi, it’s me. Well, you probably already know that…I couldn’t sleep again, so I went to the studio to write. I remember those nights when you’d insist on staying with me at the studio even though you were exhausted from working all day. You were always so supportive of me, even if it meant you’d have to sacrifice your sleep. I would sit at the desk, scribbling down songs until way after midnight and you’d fall asleep on my shoulder. I really loved that. Did you ever get a chance to read those lyrics I was always writing? They were all about you. You know-”
Hoseok was cut off mid-sentence by the voicemail beeping, indicating that he’d exceeded the amount of space to record the message.
“Ah, the voicemail cut off…Anyways, I still write about you. If I could see you again, I’d sit with you in the studio and read you every song I wrote you. I want to pour my heart out to you and tell you all the things I couldn’t say before because I was too shy. Please…” Hoseok paused for a moment and you could hear a faint sniffling on the other end before the phone clicked, ending the voicemail.
The messages began to become repetitive as Hoseok stated how much he missed you in each one along with another now aching memory of your relationship. You’d be lying if you said you were completely over Hoseok, and these voicemails were just causing you more pain. Yet you couldn’t stop listening to them because maybe he’d finally tell you he was over it, that he hated you because you never called back, and then you’d be able to get over him.
You skipped ahead to the most recent one that he’d left just yesterday.
“Y/N,” Hoseok spoke raspily over the phone, he sounded awful.
“I’m so tired. I just want to see you, to feel your arms around me and to take in your sweet scent. I don’t eat anymore. Not that I’m trying to make you feel guilty, I just don’t feel hungry because every single thing reminds me of you and it’s all too painful. Do you remember that time I texted you after practice that I was so tired and so hungry that I thought I might die?” He paused to let out a sad chuckle. “I was exaggerating of course, but you got so concerned that you showed up with an absurd amount of food and I felt like I’d never move again after eating everything you cooked for me. I miss that…I don’t think I’ll ever feel as happy as I did that day when my sweet jagi came to take care of me.”
You couldn’t bear to listen to anymore and turned your phone off, tossing it across the room. You held your head in your hands as hot, angry tears spilled from your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t handle listening to Hoseok reminding you of all the memories you’d made together; they made your heart ache. The way his voice had sounded so exhausted and detached. It wasn’t the bubbly Hoseok you knew, the one who always had a smile stretched across his face and would never fail to make you smile the same way.
No. You couldn’t think like this, not after the things he said to you when you broke up. He told you he didn’t care and now here he was, flooding your phone with apologies. You’d ignore him, he’d stop eventually and you’d be able to forget him.
A moment later, you heard your phone ding from where it’d landed across the room. You slowly stood up and made your way over to it, turning it over to see the screen lit up with a text message. The phone dinged again, and again, and again. A string up messages popped up one after the other, each one labeled with Hoseok’s name on it.
“Jagi! Your voicemail box was full and I had to tell you something.”
“I saw something at the store that reminded me of you, do you want to see it?” An image of a cute figurine sitting in the window of a store appeared before Hoseok proceeded to send another string of texts.
“I thought it looked as cute as you! Do you remember the aegyo competitions we used to have? You’d always win of course…” You couldn’t take it anymore, you couldn’t handle seeing him dump his thoughts of you into your phone. This had to end now.
“Jung Hoseok stop calling me and stop messaging me. I don’t want to see you and I don’t miss you. Leave. Me. Alone.” You pressed send, hoping that breaking his heart like this would be enough for him to finally stop. As an extra precaution, you opened his number on your phone and blocked him from contacting you any longer.
It had been exactly one week since Hoseok stopped trying to contact you after you blocked his number on your phone. You half expected him to show up at your apartment and sit outside the door until you spoke to him, but you were relieved to see he had some sense left to refrain from doing so.
You were just beginning to get over him and you had started to be happier knowing that you were recovering. However, nothing good lasts forever as you received a call from a quite distressed Namjoon the following day. At first, when you saw the name on your phone screen, you considered not picking up because Namjoon never called you and he certainly couldn’t have a reason now that you and Hoseok were broken up. However, the fact that he had never tried to call you before made you wonder if he could possibly be in trouble. You hesitantly picked up the phone just before it stopped ringing.
“H-hello?” You spoke nervously, wondering what Namjoon could have needed from you.
“Y/N? It’s Namjoon…” He spoke over the receiver before quietly whispering to someone else in the background.
“I know it’s you, is there any reason you called me?
“Yeah, listen, I need you to come over to our dorm right now.”
“Excuse me, what? Why?” This was all too suspicious; why did he need you at the dorm?
“I can’t tell you why, please just come over as soon as you can.”
“Namjoon, I don’t think I’m really comfortable coming over there. I’m sorry, you have to understand that I just don’t think it would be the best idea for me to-” You were cut off by Namjoon who continued to persuade you all while fighting off whoever was bugging him in the background.
“Y/N please, I’m begging you. I would never ask you for a favor if I could help it, but you need to come here. Now.” With that, he hung up. You didn’t want to go. What if Hoseok was there? You didn’t know if you could handle seeing him after you’d spent the last week trying so hard to forget everything. Nonetheless, it didn’t seem like Namjoon was really giving you a choice here; he wasn’t going to leave you alone until you complied. You reluctantly gathered your things and headed over to the dorm.
When you arrived, Namjoon met you at the door and silently led you inside.
“Are you going to tell me why you needed me here so urgently now?” You asked, finally breaking the silence as the two of you walked down the hall.
“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone out fear that you’d refuse to come. Besides, I think it’d be better if you saw it rather than heard from someone else.”
“What are you talking abo-” You stopped speaking mid-sentence when you realized where Namjoon was taking you. He looked down at you hopefully as he gestured towards Hoseok’s closed bedroom door. Immediately, you felt anger and anxiety bubbling up inside you and you turned to storm back home, only to for Namjoon to grab you by the wrist and pull you back.
“You need to talk to him. Please.”
“No. I don’t want to talk to him! I’m going home.” You stated while trying to free yourself from Namjoon’s grip. Of course, this was why he brought you here. How could you have not realized this?
“Y/N I know you want nothing to do with him, in fact, he told me you blocked his number, but you don’t know what he’s become. He won’t eat and he won’t sleep, he won’t do anything really.”
“Trust me, I know.” You said bitterly, thinking back to the endless voicemails you’d listened to.
“But you haven’t seen the state he’s in. He looks like hell and he’s always too tired to do anything. He won’t come to practice, and if we force him to, he does terribly. He just stays locked up in his room and refuses to speak to any of us. I know you don’t want to see him, but please talk to him, for our sake. I don’t believe that you don’t hold even a little bit of care for his well being. You were together for a really long time after all.” Namjoon rambled on about all the ways Hoseok had let himself go.
“Okay, fine! I’ll do it,” you said grudgingly as a faint smile of relief appeared on Namjoon’s face. He stepped out of the way and gestured towards the door before turning around and disappearing down the hallway, leaving you alone outside the bedroom.
You turned towards the door, taking in a deep breath before knocking gingerly on the door. When there was no answer, you carefully turned the knob and swung open the door to see the room empty. Upon closer inspection, you noticed a human shaped lump hidden under a pile of blankets on the bed, which you assumed to be Hoseok as you stepped towards him. You looked around the room, clothes scattered the floor and papers littered the desk; it was a complete pigsty.
You walked through the room, being careful to step around the mess, until you were standing in front of the bed. A low groan emitted from under the lumped covers as the person underneath them shifted.
“Go away Namjoon. I’m not coming to practice today.” Hoseok spoke raspily. The state he was living in made you furious because he wasn’t taking care of himself which was making the other members’ lives harder.
You grabbed hold of the covers before yanking them back and glaring down at the figure curled up on the bed. Namjoon was right, he did look like hell. His face was sunken and his hair was a knotted mess. He looked as if he could have shattered upon the slightest touch. Upon seeing him like this, you felt a pang of pity for Hoseok.
Once the covers were pulled off of him, Hoseok turned over to grumble at who he thought was Namjoon, but choked on his words upon seeing you standing there instead. He stared in disbelief for a moment before sitting up at once.
“Shit…is it really you? Or have I begun hallucinating?” Hoseok mumbled to himself as he reached out a hand to touch your arm, checking if you were truly standing before him. You stared at him silently before he continued to speak.
“Y/N…what are you doing here? Shit, I didn’t think you’d have to see me like this. If I knew you were coming I would have attempted to clean up a bit, although I’d have no way of knowing seeing as you blocked my number…” He said sadly staring at the floor while wringing his hands nervously.
Suddenly you felt tears welling up in your eyes, and the next thing you knew, they were spilling down your cheeks in a steady stream. Hoseok looked up at once when he heard you sniffle and his expression fell even further when he saw the tears staining your skin.
“Oh no, you’re crying, don’t cry! Please, don’t cry! Jagi…jagi I’m so sorry for what I did, for all that I said. You don’t know how awful I felt that day we fought when you left after telling me it was over…my world was shattered. I didn’t know how to function anymore; all I could think of was you and it ate me away. I didn’t want to do anything anymore if I didn’t have you. I need you. Please…listen to me, give me another chance.”
All at once, every emotion you had been repressing about this breakup came flooding back and you couldn’t help but break down in front of Hoseok. You sank to the floor, sniffling in between sobs and a moment later you felt a pair of arms wrap themselves tightly around you. You no longer could find the strength to yell at Hoseok for how he’d been treating himself nor could you push him away after he’d begun stroking your hair soothingly. It was him who needed comforting after you saw what he’d become, but here he was, comforting you instead.
He knew exactly how to make you feel better as he had done many times before; one arm around you, pulling you close to him until you leaned against him. The other was stroking your hair while humming. After a few minutes, Hoseok finally spoke up, keeping his voice low as he whispered calmly into your ear.
“It breaks my heart to know that I was the cause of this. I never want to see you unhappy and If you will allow me, I want to be the one to make sure you always have a smile on your face.” Every promise you had made yourself during the past two weeks, that you’d never forgive him and that you’d never give him a second chance, came tumbling down. You wanted him back as much as he did because truly, you’d been falling apart too, just not as noticeably as he was.
You nodded slightly and pulled away to look at him where he sat on the floor in front of you. Just as he couldn’t bear to see you cry, you couldn’t bear to see him as the sickly person he’d allowed himself to turn into; you wanted to be the one to help him recover. You nodded again to show that you’d accepted him. He breathed a sigh of relief before reaching to place his hands on either sides of your face, his thumbs wiping away the last of the tears on your cheeks.
Without another word, he immediately leaned forward to crash his lips to yours while tangling his fingers in your hair and pulling you closer. He smiled into the kiss as he moved to wrap his arms around your waist and then rested his head in the crook of your neck.
“Thank you, jagi.” He finally spoke up, a huge smile stretching across his face. After a moment, you realized that you couldn’t let Hoseok off the hook so easily – you were still upset at him for how he’d been treating himself during the past few weeks.
“Hey, just because I forgave you, doesn’t mean that you’re not going to get an earful about not taking care of yourself. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like death himself and look at the state of your room! There are papers and clothes everywhere; how can you live like this?” You had just begun scolding Hoseok when he let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing? I’m yelling at you right now!”
“Ah, I’m just happy! If it means I have you back, you can scold me all you want about not eating properly or making a mess. I just want to be with you.” He said lovingly, taking his your hands in his while placing soft kisses on them.
“Oh right, that’s another thing. What were you thinking, skipping all your meals? Did you really think I was going to let you get away with doing that? Your punishment is being fed so much food that you’ll never move again. Now, get up.” You tried to be stern with him, but after seeing the color rush back into his face as he returned to his lively nature, you couldn’t help but be overjoyed. Hoseok let out another laugh before pressing his lips to yours once more and standing up. He grabbed your hands to help you up before pulling you onto his back piggy-back style and running out into the hallway towards the kitchen. The dorm was once more filled with his energetic voice and this was appreciated by you as well as the other members.
After all, the world could never go around if the sun wasn’t shining.
***Feel free to send me any requests!***