you are a perfect asshole

anonymous asked:

"mommy i'm afraid the boogeyman is coming to get me he's going to come in the house and kill us all i know it! everyone we're all going to die!" "no no timothy there's nothing to be afraid of. the boogeyman isn't real i promise nothing is going to happen to us it's oka-" "wow way to invalidate my opinion and my concerns. people are allowed to feel a different way from you, you know. you don't have to be such an asshole."

timothy is the perfect example of a large percentage of people on this website

draco argues

PANSY : Draco, you’re gawking at Potter again.

BLAISE : All you ever do is stare at him. 

DRACO : You insensitive assholes, I am NOT gawking or staring at Perfect Potter. I AM LOVINGLY GAZING YOU COLD-HEARTED BITCHES. 

PANSY : You and your unrequited love moodswings wound me.

DRACO : Fuck you Pansy.

PANSY : You wish you could fuck Potter.

DRACO : You right tho…

DIVIDE songs described in one word:

Eraser: pain
Castle on the Hill: nostalgia
Dive: intentions
Shape of You: bodies
Perfect: soft
Galway Girl: Irish af
Happier: coping
New man: assholes
Hearts don’t break around here: happiness
What do I know: PNO
How would you feel: fallingforyou
Supermarket flowers: grieving
Barcelona: traveling
Bibia Be Ye Ye: bliss
Nancy MULLIGAN: love
Save myself: mistreatment

How i see AfterDeath
  • Reaper: I love you, sweet inmortal~
  • Geno: ////...*whispers* I... love you... too...
  • Reaper: What did you say? ///
  • Geno: I say... SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLE!!! *pinch*
  • Me: ....Perfect♡♡♡

ok. i know i’m going to get hate for this.

what is the big deal about makeup?

kim k’s contour is on fleek and believe me- i wish i could slay like that.

taylor swift rocked the black lipstick at the Met gala.

someone wears a little mascara and gloss to look nicer.

what is the big effing deal! makeup is makeup! we all know my lips aren’t perfectly outlined and plum. we all know my eyes don’t naturally have black wings coming out the sides.

honestly.

if you’re going to judge someone and call them fake because they wear makeup, you can unfollow me right now.

because you are an asshole.

we all know we aren’t perfect! we all know my cheeks are that amazingly contoured.

but when i see a girl, or guy, with wings sharp enough to kill and lipstick so smooth you could slip, i think they are awesome. they know they look amazing. they know they can slay. and they don’t care.

because when my eyeliner is sharp enough to kill, i feel like i can conquer the world.

so why the hell are you giving people crap about wearing makeup? its a personal choice.

we all know its fake.

i know my wings are hella fake.

but if i walk in to finals with wings slaying like no other, i know i’m going to feel confident on that test.

i don’t wear makeup for anyone but myself. and it feels awesome when someone says “nice wings today” because that just made my day better.

wear your makeup. be amazing for yourself.

and everyone who says we’re fake.

would you kindly fuck off?

@lightperfected on Sean Bean
  • Bagel: he’s like a yorkshire pudding that comes in two types of meals
  • Bagel: yorkshire pudding with scary sauce
  • Bagel: yorkshire pudding with birb mom sauce
Actual lines from Persona 4

“I loooove them balls.”

The old man stuck the leaf onto his leg…
“Oooh, I can feel it! It’s working!”

“Now, I’ve got the perfect lecture for you assholes! Let’s talk some Friedrich Nietzsche!”

“This is also considered a snack!? The world of snacks is indeed vast and infinite.”

“Man, a watermelon!”

“The fish might be sleeping!”

“It was a lot easier the second time. High school girls are thinner, y'know? Lighter.”

“I guess it’s employment for me… But I can’t imagine sacrificing this afro just for interviews!”

Satan has leveled up!

you know rereading Miss Peregrine’s , it makes perfect sense why the sexist assholes would want to change Emma for the movies

Emma in the books is terrifying, and she’s kind of a bitch. In the books, the first ten things she says to Jacob is that she’ll kill him. Then she practically burns a bar down and ties Jacob up as they take him to Miss Peregrine.

WHICH MAKES 100000% SENSE WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT PECULIARS ARE IN DANGER ALL THE TIME AND WHEN ABRAHAM LEFT SO DID HALF OF THEIR DEFENSES AGAINST WIGHTS AND HOLLOWGHASTS. LIKE DID THEY EVEN READ THE FUCKING BOOK LIKE ????????????

Clarke can make a man listen to his father be murdered by her, let a missile kill hundreds of her allies, kill several hundred innocent people, including babies and children, to save like 40 people but the fans will give her a free pass because she’s white and don’t you dare tell me that’s not what it is that makes the fans excuse everything she does. 

Sentence Starters As Things My English Teacher Has Said

My Asian Love. Sounds like a really good title for a really bad dating sim.

You missed the Chinese New Year. My sister brought me rice.

Two things; One, no I don’t have deodorant.  Two, if i did, I wouldn’t let you use it.

“You’re perfect, I love you,” he said. What an asshole.

Why would you choose the answer, ‘Plum Pudding’? When have I EVER said the words ‘Plum’ or ‘Pudding’ in this class other than now?

Kid, that was was the most creative response to a writing prompt I’ve seen in years.

Before all you idiots DIE, get it right.

YEEYEE!

Release bowels now.

It was owned by a supernatural porn company.

They formed a congo line.

Have you ever heard of Sleep Paralysis?

This place had such a dark history, it became a portal to hell.

It looked like a blob fish.

So they’re out in the middle of the night, dancing… and they’re naked.

Don’t eat your vegetables.

I’ll show you, mom! I’m gonna eat a CARROT.

Make ___ ___ fall in love with me.

She ran a whore house.

Why not just accuse the whores of Witchcraft?

He was actually 60. Guess he was strapping enough to keep going every night. Eh? Ehhhh?

Something i just don't really understand very well...because i see people literally say these things in the same sentance
  • Person: Rowan and Aelin were so much better platonic, just, they were my brotp, they were such deep and good friends, i hate their romantic relationship, it was so much better when they were friend soul-mates
  • Me: Why do you hate their romantic relationship?
  • Person: Because its like she fell in love with her abuser! He was such an asshole to her, so abusive and terrible and awful, it just doesn't make sense that he would be with her
  • Me: But as friends-
  • Person: My Brotp, ah, they were so cute and friend goals and much better platonic
  • Me: But romantically
  • Person: Their relationship is so toxic, all because of how he treated her in the beginning, total abuser asshole, he is the worst
  • Me: But...as friends you-
  • Person: Love them, so perfect, they were the best
  • Me: ....Wait what?

when I was younger I had an argument with one of my therapists

“you listen with your whole body” she told us

“no, you only listen with your ears. ears are the only part of your body that hear things”

“no, you listen with your whole body! for example, you listen to my face with your eyes”

“no, I look at your face with my eyes. eyes cannot hear”

my therapist turned her back to me and started waving her body around. “am I listening to you?” she asked

“yes.” I said. I knew if said no I might as well be swearing in blood that I would sit still for the rest of my life

“no, I am not listening to you!” said the therapist. that was becoming evident. the therapist turned around and faced me, put her hands in her lap, and looked at my face. “am I listening to you now?”

“maybe” I said

“yes, I am! I am listening to you with my whole body! you listen with your whole body, not just with your ears!”

I thought for a moment. “… you don’t listen with your toes.”

“yes, you do!” said my therapist. and that was how I learned that if your toes are not pointed at the person you are listening to you cannot hear what they are saying, a fact which, I have discovered, is not true.

schmity63  asked:

Could you please do a Percy Annabeth prom if you haven't already? I've been having a really rough couple weeks and your stories usually help me a lot.

I’m sorry you’ve a tough couple of weeks! Hopefully this helps make you feel better, at least for a bit. Plus, it makes the perfect 3k thank you! 

I love you all terribly (except that asshole anon from that one time, you can fuck off) and I hope you enjoy!! 

Percy was a complete wreck. Sure, he had faced some of the fiercest monsters and gods the world had to offer but this was different. Being a normal teenager was completely unfamiliar territory that Percy struggled with every day; and now as he waits in his living room, wearing the black suit that Paul had helped him pick out, for Sally to finish helping Annabeth with her hair and makeup, he was struggling to catch his breath. 

Sally cleared her throat and Percy moved to stand up. Just as his eyes rose, Annabeth rounded the corner and Percy’s knees almost gave out. 

This was really not gonna help his breathing. 

Keep reading

If he cheats on you, he doesn’t love you. He never did. It’s not your fault. You are good enough, babe, you’re perfect. He’s the asshole. You’re better than him because you’re not going to quit. You still have the capacity to love. I don’t give a fuck if it was a kiss on the cheek, or if you caught them in your bed, it’s still cheating. Any form of cheating is still cheating, and that’s unforgiveable, completely unforgiveable. He still broke all that trust you gave him, all that trust you worked so hard to garner and give. He took every dream, every future wish, and smashed it, and now you have to say goodbye. You have to let go of your future wedding plans, and kid’s names, and every time he said, “I love you.” Because the fact is that, the one for you isn’t going to hurt you in any way. The One is going to be conscious of your boundaries, and what’s too far, and they’re not going to put what you have together in jeopardy.

            He’s not going to meet his ex for lunch to talk about things, for closure, and he’s not going to comfort his crying female friend because she just got dumped, and is feeling really “vulnerable” right now. He’s not going to because he knows that if his ex gets a little too cozy, or if he still even needs closure after he’s been dating you for 6 MONTHS, or if his “friend” kisses him, taking his comforting to another level, that you will leave his ass in a heartbeat, and he doesn’t want to lose you.

            You should be first place, number one priority, and if you’re not then you need to find someone who will have you as theirs because that’s what YOU DESERVE! There’s no I’m sorry, because the one will know where you stand. Cheating is ALWAYS A CHOICE! There are no accidents, you didn’t accidentally fuck her, you choose to take a drunk girl home when you were feeling kind of tipsy yourself, you chose to get to close to her, you chose to let her flirty behavior inflate your ego instead of pushing her off. It’s always a choice, and if he chose her for even a second, then you know where you stand.

            Don’t let him downgrade you, move on to the man who will make you forget all about that boy.