As liberals, we totally got the idea of patriotism jacked from us. When Trump asks for the worst of this country - like a Muslim ban, transgender bathroom bills, defunding Planned Parenthood - he’s considered to be the most patriotic. But when we ask for the best of this country as liberals - No Ban No Wall, Black Lives Matter, equal pay, gender equality, LGBTQ rights - we are considered anti-patriotic. When really, we’re the most patriotic. Fighting for equality is the most American thing you can do.
Hasan Minhaj, comedian and Daily Show correspondent, in an interview with Bust Magazine
A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma
1. Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as
“getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages
in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a
major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back
to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also
mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a
papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as
normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and
all — with courage.
2. Presence is always better than distance.
There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need
space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my
experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely
time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is
unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or
covering all the bases.
It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please
go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If
someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side
3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.
It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery
wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a
wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for
months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself
back in the same old mud again next year.
Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.
4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.
This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner,
or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma
requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends
who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the
reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you
out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience,
it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a
builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if
you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk
the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner,
best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles.
Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions
beside you on the journey.
5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.
For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and
self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships
can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be
most fully healed.
It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual
acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can
they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks
away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?
Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but
it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice
giving shelter to others.
6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.
“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At
least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.”
“God works in all things for good!”
When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer
assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But
from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can
swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be
terrible for a while.
7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.
Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me
stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their
prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else
thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and
discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very
much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy
of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession.
Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and
owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.
8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.
This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in
broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends
fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of
love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a
dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.
Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a
step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d
say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of
hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly
reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the
metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there
will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.
9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …
In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:
“Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of
life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy,
detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep
distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.
There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of
yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes
any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over
and over and over again.
10. … Doesn’t kill you.
Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain
you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility.
It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.
It also may not.
In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have
life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on.
So will you.
Do you like the rainbow? Do you like the idea of playing with berry Sims but hate berry Sims? Do you want to mess around with aspects of the game you’ve never used before? Boy, do I have the challenge for you!
Welcome to the Not So Berry Legacy Challenge, a ten generation legacy with a focus on bright colors and new experiences.
Each heir must represent the color of the generation (i.e. hair, makeup, clothing), but brightly colored skin is not necessary (these aren’t actually berry Sims, that’s the joke). Of course, this is optional but a big portion of the fun.
The colors of the spouses don’t matter as they aren’t part of the challenge. Unless otherwise stated you can do whatever you please with them.
Money cheats can be used, but not excessively. Suggestion: use freerealestate for your first home, but no cheats afterward.
You may live wherever you please unless something is specified in the rules of a generation.
Every generation is supposed to complete both the career and aspiration of the heir unless explicitly stated otherwise.
Keep the lifespan on normal.
If you play this challenge and want to share it with us, go ahead and post with #notsoberry so we can see!
My good friend @alwaysimming and I kind of created this challenge on accident, but I think it turned out pretty great. We wanted to make something that forced us to play with parts of the game we’ve never explored before. Hopefully you’ll have fun too. You can follow our gameplay on @mintiphresh and @lea-fey (pronounced “minty fresh” and “leafy”)!
I’ve gained a bunch of new followers lately so ask me so send me a number!!!
1. selfie 2. what would you name your future kids? 3. do you miss anyone? 4. what are you looking forward to? 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? 7. what was your life like last year? 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 9. who did you last see in person? 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? 11. are you listening to music right now? 12. what is something you want right now? 13. how do you feel right now? 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? 15. personality description 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? 17. opinion on insecurities. 18. do you miss how things were a year ago? 19. have you ever been to New York? 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? 21. age and birthday? 22. description of crush. 23. fear(s) 24. height 25. role model 26. idol(s) 27. things i hate 28. i’ll love you if… 29. favourite film(s) 30. favourite tv show(s) 31. 3 random facts 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? 33. something you want to learn 34. most embarrassing moment 35. favourite subject 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? 37. favourite actor/actress 38. favourite comedian(s) 39. favourite sport(s) 40. favourite memory 41. relationship status 42. favourite book(s) 43. favourite song ever 44. age you get mistaken for 45. how you found out about your idol 46. what my last text message says 47. turn ons 48. turn offs 49. where i want to be right now 50. favourite picture of your idol 51. starsign 52. something i’m talented at 53. 5 things that make me happy 54. something thats worrying me at the moment 55. tumblr friends 56. favourite food(s) 57. favourite animal(s) 58. description of my best friend 59. why i joined tumblr 60. ask me anything you want
Many people who have been studying have become quite understanding of the nature of their rising sign and how this reflects their personality as an individual (as the 1st house of ‘I am’).
Though the Ascendant plays an important role as to how you recognise yourself, your personality and sense of individuality, your Imum Coeli, Descendant and Midheaven also play an integral role to core components of who you are in relation to the context of your family, relationships and in the eye of the public.
Ever noticed how your personality changes when you’re with your family compared to when your with friends or your romantic partner? And bringing the romantic partner into the family life can initially cause a sense of tension? (4th/Cancer square the 7th/Libra…makes sense!?).
In this segment, we are going to explore how the sign on your Midheaven can display how you are perceived in the eye of the public. This means how you will appear to people who barely know you, people who you walk by in the street or on the bus, to your social media platforms and the reputation you gain through your career. When watching celebrities on television, you are far more likely seeing their MIDHEAVEN sign (and 10th house activity).
Take note the sign of the ruler of your Midheaven is in and read about that placement as well (especially if you have an empty 10th house) + you may also like to read about the planets in the 10th, though the sign of your midheaven and its ruling planet will be far more potent in relation to how you are perceived in the public eye and what you are most ‘famous’ for.
I have listed as many possible positive and ‘not so positive’ reputations you may gain in the eyes of the public. Those that apply will greatly vary on the entire natal chart.
I am specifically referring to the Midheaven though planets in the 10th house will affect the presentation of the public image so those may be accounted for.
Aspects to the midheaven such as the conjunctions and opposition may be accounted for, though trines, textiles, and squares can give energy to the Midheaven also, their manifestations will be slightly more subtle. If you are new or intermediate to astrology, aim to only read about conjunctions or oppositions to your MC if you have any. Oppositions will indicate conjunctions to the IC (Imum Coeli) and this will mean that planet is hidden from the public.
Known for being a Pioneer and a self premotor
Being known as an entrepreneur
Independent and Passionate in the eyes of the public
Known for having a fiery personality
Temperamental and Aggressive in the eyes of the public
Talks about/focuses on the self
Social media tends to focus on the self
Sexual presentation to the public eye
Known for associations with sex
Not caring about the publics opinion
Being known for being Impulsive
Made it to the top through their own efforts
Known for physical fitness/athletic ability
Number one (in their own world)
Competitive in the eyes of the public
Moving ahead regardless of what anyone else does/says
Possibly swearing/harsh language or humour
Self-focused role modelling for others
The public looking up to you for leadership
Taking the lead for the public
Fighting for your goals/ambitions/career
Known for pushing through and fighting against all odds
Masculine sense of power and authority
Being recognised for ones own efforts
Fearless of the public
Known for starting (or contributing) online fights
Known for being combative
Being known for starting a new trend
Not scared to be on stage
Assertive, strong, persistent and forceful in the eyes of the public
A reputation for being single/doing things solo
Can be seen as naive to the public
Known for speed/doing things quickly/fast service
Beautiful in the eyes of the public
Sensual and natural public presentation
Known for wealth (how much or lack there of)
Known for being stubborn, persistent and strong willed
Known for being slow at progressing (perhaps mainly in career)
Bringing beauty and sensuality to the public
Being comfortable and calm in the eyes of the public
People see you for your beauty, water and what you have
People recognise you for the quality of what you have, your career and the things you make
Being recognised for your down to earth nature
Being known for being grounded and practical
Known for connection with nature, the land and mother earth
Known for the things you produce
Being known for your weight
Being recognised for your voice/singing/speaking
Being recognised for artistic endeavours
Known for being reliable and predictable
Can stay in the public eye for as long as you want
Being known to be cool, calm and soothing to the public
Known for body work (from body art, makeup, massaging, wrestling ect)
Recognised for being materialistic
Well known for disliking change
Well known for staying in a particular field for a long time
Known for physical strength
Known for being lazy, hedonistic and unmotivated
Known for doing little physical labour
Gaining a reputation for buying and selling things
Known for written blogs, books, newspapers, magazines ect
Known for numerous posts on social media
Known for being very active on social media
Being talkative, communicative, inquisitive and curious in the eyes of the public
Known for your skills in technology/like-dislike of them
Being a teacher/source of a lot of information in the eyes of the public
Sharing a lot of information through all forms of communication
Known for being articulate, quick witted, humorous and good with words
Known for being a wordsmith and playing with the meaning of words
Known for written works/informative works
Having many usernames/nicknames/several personas, and constantly changing them
Having many social media accounts
Known for being inconsistent in the eyes of the public
Having serval careers/jobs at once
Doing many different things at once in the eyes of the public
Known for being a bit of a comedian
Known for what you say and how you say it (talking too fast/too slow/not much/or a lot)
Being intellectual and mentally stimulating in the eyes of the public
Known for the information you give
Known for your siblings
Well Known in your neighbourhood
Known for the neighbourhood you grew up in
Well known in the the local town
Known for association with technology and communication devices
Popular on the internet
Well known by people on public transport
Being known as a ‘know it all’
Being known for your family/family name
Being known for who your mother is/was
Known for your relationship with mother figure
Being known for your association with women and mothers
Being known as a gentle and nurturing person
Known for being at home a lot
Known for working at home/the home property/your home
Known for growing, caring and mothering people/things (animals or land)
Being recognised for being moody or ‘crabby’
Being known for being clingy
Known for being sweet and sensitive
Known for being a parent
Being emotional vulnerable in the eyes of the public
Well known for your emotional nature (for better or for worse)
Being protective and defensive in the eyes of the public
Known for being temperamental and over emotional
Known for being soft and timid
Known for addressing female/women’s issues
Known for real estate
Crying in public
Being well known for being protective
Being protective and defensive of your public image
Being vulnerable to the people of the public
Known fort your sense of intuition
Being at home in the eyes of the public
Being the mother figure for the public
Nurturing and caring for the public/the career
Known for being conservative, private and traditional
Having a motherly public image
Known for being creative and playful in the eyes of the public
Known for being bold and courages in the eyes of the public
Shining on stage
Enjoying the attention and admiration of the public
Performing your absolute best when you know everyone is watching
Being a show off in the eyes of the public
Being over dramatic in the eyes of the public
Known for being confident and your authentic self in the eyes of the public
Being fun and childlike when relating to the public
Well known for your hair
Being seen as bossy and acting like a little princess
Known for being very generous to the public
Known for putting on a performance (for good or bad)
Well known for expressing oneself
Known for being vain and having an overwhelming ego to the public
Known for having a status of near royalty
Being seen as a king or queen in the eyes of the public
Known for relationship with the father figure
Known for being special, passionate, demonstrative and dignified in the eyes of the public
Being well liked and charismatic to the public people
Known for being happy, warm and friendly
Having a sunny disposition in the eyes of the public
Being seen as a show off
Seen as having a bright, sunny and happy personality in the eyes of the public
Known for creativity and self-expression
Virgo (Ceres - or Mercury if using traditional ruler)
Known for being practical, on point and on time
Well known for a sense of practicality and efficiency
Known for being nit-picky and fault finding in the eyes of the public
Being seen as quiet and shy in public
Known for being innocent and modest
Known for following the rules
Being observant and orderly in the eyes off the public
Known for being a health guru
Begin recognised for worth ethic and precision
Known for being an expert at what you do
Having a near perfect public image
Well known for service and employee status
Known for doing a job very well
Having a routine in relation to being in the public
Well known for being narrow-minded and perfectionistic
Being critical of the public
Known for cleanliness and orderliness
Known for self-deprecation and/or being an overachiever
Wanting to appear perfect in the eyes of the public
Well known for being humble, unselfish and hardworking
Know for being a specialist
Having keen observation skills in the eyes of the public
Putting the public into categories
Trying to perfect the public
Known for being minimalistic
Known for playing the role of the nurse and caregiver
Seeming as if you take care of your own problems (you’re your own saviour)
Libra (Juno- or Venus if using traditional ruler)
Known for being harmonious and sweet
Known for being beautiful
Well known for your marriage or relationship partner
Recognised when with, or in relation to the romantic partner
Known for having feminine qualities
Known for artistic/musical abilities
Known for being a fence sitter
Being peaceful and charming in the eyes of the public
Being agreeable to what they public wants/does/says
Known for being a romantic and attractiveness
Being diplomatic and a gentleman/woman in the eyes of the public
Known for being indecisive and compromising
Known for your business partnerships and deals
Known for your appearance (beauty)
Being known for your aesthetic tastes
Taking the opposing viewpoint of the public
Known for being flirtatious and flattering
A reputation for being superficial or too agreeable or passive
Known for always being with someone else
Being seen as a model
Being known for fairness and equality (either in or out of politics)
Gaining a reputation for not standing up for yourself
Known for being two-faced
Projecting a false public image
Gaining a reputation for being the ‘side person’ in tasks and careers
Known for being a councillor or a mediator
Hidden from the eyes of the public
Known for being mysterious and secretive
Barely seen in the public eye
Known for being transformative and intense
Known for being dark
Been seen as sexual and magnetic in the eyes of the public
Diving deep into the psyches of the public
Provoking a sense of intimidation in the eyes of the public
Known for being quite powerful
Known for being dominant and in control
Causing intense reactions in the public
Known for your powerful position over the public
Transforming the people of the public
Obsessing over your public image
Known for being taboo, raw and authentic
Having a love/hate relationship with people of the public
Known for healing, shamanistic and mediumistic abilities
Being known for associations around birth, death and transformation
Known for being intensely passionate
Known for being self-destructive (and to heal the self after)
Being known for being obsessive and destructive
Keeping yourself hidden from the public
Being known for associations with violence, horror and gore
Known for contact emotional fluxes
Known for witchcraft
Epitome of a character from The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones
Known for having deep psychological penetrative abilities
Your shadow self on display for everyone to see
Exposing the truth to the public
Gaining a reputation for being philosophical and spiritual
Known for being a happy-go-lucky and a optimistic person
Known for publications and teaching
Being happy, fun and good humoured in the eyes of the public
Being playful and jovial in the public eye
Being well known overseas and or for associations with foreign cultures
Being known as stretching the mind of the public
Known for being religious or anti-religious
Known as being opinionated and/or argumentative
Known for being self-righteous
Being inspirational and giving hope and faith to the public
Well known for being blunt and straight to the point
Known for being brash and openly honest
Known for being a thrill seeker and a bit of a daredevil
Gaining a reputation for being a traveler and being a bit of a gypsy/nomad
Known for associations with horses and/or the great outdoors
Speaking the truth to the public, without censoring yourself
Known for being a freedom loving hippy
Known for being sporty and/or athletic
Known for ‘telling it like it is’
Known for going with the flow
Being known as someone who’s hard to pin down
Seeing being a bit wild in the eyes of the public
Known for casual, laid back attitude
Known for being philosophical and open minded
Being known to casually drop an ‘f’ bomb and swear when feeling like it
Perceived as being older than you really are by the public
Known for being ‘mature for your age’
Known for the father figure
Known for being wise
Seen as being an authority figure
Seen as having a fatherly disposition
Looking older than you really are in the eyes of the public
Known for being strict and conservative
Known for creating structure and regulating the people of the public
Seen as a responsible leader in the eyes of the public
Known for being hardworking/very involved in your career
Seeming hard and cold to the people of the public
Being real and practical in the eyes of the public
Being seen as a professional
Being very well reserved and direct in the eyes of the public
Having a rigid public appearance
Not showing weakness or emotions in the public eye
Commanding the public’s respect
Known for being stern and serious
Known for being highly ambitious
Being seen as classical and traditional
Known as being the boss or the leader
Gaining a reputation for being in control (for good or for bad)
Being known for being retractive and limiting the self
Known for being hard on the self and overworking
Being known for your struggles and hardships
Being known for taking power back
Known for never asking for help
Being known as an eccentric
Being publicly known for doing things outside of the box
Known as being a bit of a nerd
Known as having a love of outer space
Being known for use of technology
Popular on the internet
Known for being a bit of a rebel
Posting weird things on the internet
Being known as been a political reformer/rebel
Known for wanting to change the way society works
Known for having a strange hobby/collection
Nerd culture (Star Trek/Star Wars/Game of Thrones/The Walking Dead ect…)
Known as being an alternative hippy
Known for Astrology
Public viewed as emotionally detached from the public
Public seeing you as a casual friend
Known for doing things in a unique and self-stylised way
Being too unpredictable for the public to have an expectancy of you
Known as ‘The weird one’
Being known for association with aliens
Known for being all over the place and erratic
Public never knows what to expect of you
Feeling at one with the public
Known for being exciting, overwhelming and extreme
Publicly known for spirituality and psychic abilities
Known for associations with angels and spirit guides
Being known for love of fantasy
Projecting an ideal self to the public
Having an illusional public persona
Known to constantly change persona
Known for being dreamy and unrealistic
Known for being a saviour/victim/martyr
Being known for being an over romantic
Being seen as gentle, sweet and having your head in the clouds
Being seen as being out of touch with reality
Being known for cosplay, dressing up as fantasy or fiction characters
Known for artistic abilities
Being known for healing
Gaining a reputation for being a storyteller and/or a bit of a lair
Known as being a great actor and moulding into different personas with conviction
Being known as an empath and hyper sensitive
Known for associations with drugs, alcohol or other addictions
Known for being unconditionally loving to the public
Being peaceful and soft spoken in the eyes of the public
Known for being a volunteer and charity work
Having a reputation for being a dreamer and having a strong imagination
Known for association with the water and the ocean
Public seeing that you live in your own dream world
SCORPIO: You can remember every terrible thing that’s ever put its hands on you but recalling a small act of kindness can bring you trembling to your knees. Sometimes you have to fight back against your brain, against the voice that’s telling you that all you’ve ever gotten from the world is heartbreak and devastation. There comes a moment when you have to choose what to forget and what to remember, and that time is on the horizon. You’re running out of space in yourself for newer, softer memories. Don’t cast them away for those things that don’t deserve it.
SAGITTARIUS: Devote time to yourself this month. I know that sometimes every positive thing that leaves your lips feels like a lie and the people that surround you don’t always tell you that you matter, but you’re still whole. Nobody can take that away from you. Do you remember the last time you laughed so hard that your belly ached? I know that it often feels like you’re never going to reach that feeling of joy again, but you will. Don’t be afraid to cut out the people that bring you down. Your heart is not a toy or something to prod and subject to experiments. Act tenderly.
CAPRICORN: Lately everything that’s graced your tongue has been tinged with bitterness, which says more about your taste buds than it does about what you’ve been pressing to your mouth. It’s not always that the object or the person or the situation itself that’s bathed in sourness: sometimes it’s the way you’re consuming it. You have the tendency to take a perfectly sweet environment and turn it into something difficult to swallow, because whenever life comes easily to you a cloud of suspicion engulfs it. Give yourself a break from making things more difficult than they need to be.
AQUARIUS: Have you ever thought that maybe ghost stories fascinate you so much because of your inclination to play dead? It’s so much easier to be a spirit than to have one, to hide under beds and sneak around the issues: but what are you avoiding by doing this? Who are you hurting? I know that this is easy to forget when you’ve been not quite a person for so long, but everyone would much rather embrace your physical form than whisper disjointed fragments to an invisible, intangible body. Existence looks beautiful on you. You were made for color.
PISCES: You have maps with red pen marks littering your bedroom floor because you’ve only ever dreamt of being in a house that isn’t this one. That could be because you love traveling, but it could also be because you’ve never found a place you could comfortably call ‘home.’ I suppose this is a cliche that you’ve seen before, perhaps on a poster in a doctor’s office, but you have to become comfortable with yourself before attempting to navigate landscapes or else every location you visit will feel like a movie set. You’ll find your place eventually. Give it time to grow for you.
ARIES: It’s easier to make people laugh than it is to tell them how you’re feeling, and at this point you could be a stand-up comedian with all the practice you’ve had. I’m sorry that you’ve so often felt the need to hide behind a mask in order to make everyone around you comfortable. I want you to know that you’re allowed to be vocal about the things that make you happy, or the things that upset you. You don’t have to be afraid of asking for help, if you feel that you’re slipping off of the edge. There are so many hands outstretched, ready to lift you up.
TAURUS: You know more than anyone else how exhausting it is to tend to people that don’t deserve it but, for some reason, you keep doing it anyways. Perhaps it’s all become routine, or you’re comfortable with the familiar, however that doesn’t change that your average level of happiness is set on a sliding scale dependent on another’s attention. You define happiness with instagram likes and unremarkable moments: this has become commonplace. It shouldn’t be, but I think that you already know that. So, why are you refusing to believe that which you know is true? For what purpose?
GEMINI: Every dream that you have is short-lived because nobody’s ever told you that it’s okay to linger within a state of indecision. Not knowing what you want from the world has become a dirty secret that you bury in your laundry basket, praying it’ll magically clean itself. The hard truth is that it won’t magically become manageable, but it’s still okay to close your eyes, exhale, and contemplate your personal definition of desire. Stop taking into account the feelings of others when doing this: determine what you wish you could be, apart from any social influences.
CANCER: The smoke alarm has been ringing for days and you haven’t bothered yet to turn it off. There’s something incredibly intimidating about confronting your noisiest problems, and lately your solution to this has consisted of hiding under the covers with tattered photo albums and headphones. I’m not saying that you have to immediately tackle every issue that wanders into your life, but a plan of action is always a good thing to have. Set manageable goals for yourself and try your best to stick to them. I promise, progress will make you feel better.
LEO: So, another person let you down and you’re busy feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve fallen in love with how tragic your reflection becomes once you’ve cried every night for a week straight. Adopting unhealthy habits has become a game, like how quickly can you ruin your life before anybody asks how you’re doing. Maybe there’s something thrilling about being reckless, but trust me when I say that there’s nothing exciting about actively wrecking your chances for happiness. Allow yourself to heal. Stop punishing yourself for being alive.
VIRGO: Your to-do lists are all written in permanent ink which says a lot about how confident you are in your ability to get things done; this is to say that your list keeps growing at an incredible rate and you’re angry that you can’t keep up with it. It’s easy to blame it on your situation, and that definitely pulls some weight. But I think that a lot of this overactivity stems back to you and the way you hold yourself back whenever you get close to something you could love. Buy some pencils. Prioritize. Stop pretending that you need to save the world.
LIBRA: Spring cleaning has been over for months now but that doesn’t mean you can’t start a little later than usual this year. There are so many dust-covered boxes surrounding your bed that it’s making your allergies worse than ever before; you can’t remember the last time you slept through the night without waking up in a coughing fit because of what you refuse to throw out. I think you need to acknowledge that things are always going to be changing, both the good and the bad, despite how much you dig your heels into the ground. It won’t ever be the same. And that’s okay.
1. selfie 2. what would you name your future kids? 3. do you miss anyone? 4. what are you looking forward to? 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? 7. what was your life like last year? 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 9. who did you last see in person? 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? 11. are you listening to music right now? 12. what is something you want right now? 13. how do you feel right now? 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? 15. personality description 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? 17. opinion on insecurities. 18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? 19. have you ever been to New York? 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? 21. age and birthday? 22. description of crush. 23. fear(s) 24. height 25. role model 26. idol(s) 27. things i hate 28. i’ll love you if… 29. favourite film(s) 30. favourite tv show(s) 31. 3 random facts 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? 33. something you want to learn 34. most embarrassing moment 35. favourite subject 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? 37. favourite actor/actress 38. favourite comedian(s) 39. favourite sport(s) 40. favourite memory 41. relationship status 42. favourite book(s) 43. favourite song ever 44. age you get mistaken for 45. how you found out about your idol 46. what my last text message says 47. turn ons 48. turn offs 49. where i want to be right now 50. favourite picture of your idol 51. starsign 52. something i’m talented at 53. 5 things that make me happy 54. something thats worrying me at the moment 55. tumblr friends 56. favourite food(s) 57. favourite animal(s) 58. description of my best friend 59. why i joined tumblr 60. ask me anything you want
Your first love gets you raw and open and naive and strong. Your first love gets the secrets that you never even knew you were meant to keep buried away. Your first love teaches you that love isn’t about reckless kissing and hands all over the place, that it’s actually about learning and understanding and compromise and feeling so happy you might explode.
Your first love takes you to the mountain tops and the stars there are more spectacular than any you’ve ever seen. Your first love sits with you until your head finds a home in the crevice between their neck and shoulder and you want to stay, more than anything, you want to stay.
Your first love laughs at your jokes and suddenly you are the world’s greatest comedian, it doesn’t matter that no one ever found you funny before, it doesn’t matter than tomorrow you still have to face the world. Your first love is like a safe, where you hide the treasures most precious to you because you think they’ll be around forever.
Your first love teaches you loneliness, teaches you about endings and goodbyes and emptiness. Your first love makes breaking an arm sound like a walk in the park. Your first love promises that they won’t forget and you believe them until you see them kissing someone else on the street that you used to meet.
Your first love makes you bitter.
And your second love makes that bitterness go away.
S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #167 // “Talk about your first love?“ ; "I feel like second loves don’t get enough credit.”