you ack

anonymous asked:

I don't know why you you can't just enjoy your own ships and let others enjoy theirs in peace. I guess *most* ewruris just love being shit stirrers :).

Tea time for anon. Prompt: salty mother fucker

“Can you believe this?” Levi says. His feet are propped up on Erwin’s legs, a magazine opened in his lap.

Erwin does nothing else but hum. Levi tends to find a lot of things unbelievable, like houses with more than three bedrooms, life on other planets, and kale. Levi kicks his legs, demands him to answer him, and that’s when Erwin groans out, dropping his e-reader to rest on Levi’s knee. “What’s so unbelievable, darling?”

“This article is asking when I’ll be paired up with Eren in ‘Advancing Titans’.” Levi stares at him, face blank, dead eyes and quite, well, unbelieving.

“What?” Erwin offers him a side glance, and he’ll admit, he can’t believe it either.

“Yeah, listen to this,” he clears his throat, “'The relationship between Levi and Eren is so believable on screen, the fans have been waiting all season to see if the writers will be brave enough to take things a step further.’” His hand tightens around the magazine, glares up at Erwin, then continues reading. “'We ourselves enjoyed the scene where Levi gave Eren a bit of “tough love” in front of everybody in court.’“

“Oh my god.” Erwin mutters. He can’t feign the eye roll on his voice.

“Do these guys understand characterization at all?”

“I suppose not.”

“Oh my god… No! It goes on!”


“'And we are looking forward to the scene next season when Levi offers Eren a handkerchief when he has a bloody–’”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It’s gross…”

“It’s part of being a celebrity, darling.”

“Yeah but…”

Erwin smiles at him, squeezes Levi’s knee and leans over and places a soft kiss on Levi’s lips. “Everything is all right, because at least we’re canon.”

Levi presses his forehead to Erwin’s, nods shallowly as he returns a minute smile. “Yeah.”

Pixelberry Choices Ads

So I saw that an anon asked @hollyashton​ about a master post containing all of those weird Pixelberry ads. Yeah, those ones, the really misleading ones. I don’t think I have them all, but I have been taking screenshots every time I see one, so here’s what I have for anyone interested!

Which ones do you think are the worst/funniest? Are there any that you want to see made into a book?

The book has a maroon jacket and embossed spine. It’s older, and he can tell when he picks it up and leafs through the pages. The musty smell reaches his nose and makes him sneeze into his arm. With a sniffle, he fans through the book, and it doesn’t take him long to realize it was one of Erwin’s.

His heart seizes, and he leaves the book open in his lap. He thinks about Erwin every day, sometimes every second, but Erwin’s never a surprise. Thinking of him is a constant, and the physical things that conjure Erwin are cataloged and sterilized. When Levi encounters them, he does so with bravery. Indifference. He has Erwin compartmentalized at this point into his psyche. The only place Erwin could affect him is in his dreams.

But this book. This book is different. It has Levi spooked, and he isn’t sure how to move forward. He turns a page. The language is old, the information flowery and, at this point, incorrect. It must have been Erwin’s father’s, and somehow having that knowledge made the book that much more difficult to hold. Another page and he discovers it’s talking about the ocean. His breathing gets caught in his chest as he reads.

Oceans are bodies of water with high salt content. They can range in color depending on location, from deep sapphire to gleaming turquoise. It is predicted that the ocean covers more of the surface of the world than land. Nobody has ever been able to touch the deepest depth of an ocean. Strange creatures are thought to originate under the surface.

Levi slaps the book shut and places it next to him. He brings his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs.

It wasn’t anything like that. The ocean was beautiful and living and moving. It was vast and mysterious and deep. It tasted different, like an exotic delicacy. And he supposed at the time that it was. They had never tasted freedom like that before–and that’s all the ocean was.


His chest grows tight, and there’s a sound emitting from his throat that’s foreign and hoarse. God dammit, he should have been there. He should have been at his side, their cloaks catching the wind like the sails of the ships illustrated on the book pages. He had fought the longest and hardest out of all of them. He got them all here. If it wasn’t for him…

The sob comes out long and hard, and Levi has never felt something shake through him so violently. His moaning cry echoes in the room as the tears pool and drop from his eyes. It wasn’t anything like that. It wasn’t some simple pages on a piece of paper. It was so fucking beautiful and Erwin wasn’t there. He wasn’t there, and it was the ugliest thing he had ever seen in his whole life. He hated the ocean. He fucking hated it.

His hands ball into his hair as he pushes his forehead into his knees. He struggles to breathe, but he doesn’t care. His sobs turn silent as he gasps in air. Erwin wasn’t there, and he’s not here now, and he can’t fucking stand it. Tears fall salty like the waters of the ocean, and he wishes so badly to drown in them.

The text above is an excerpt from a ficlet my lovely @gouguruheddo wrote for this pic to rip my heart completely into pieces <3 Thank you love.

Submitted by @plaidstiel-wormstache. I hope you like this crappy piece of shit. ;)

Are You Single?

“So, Jensen,” You smiled warmly at him as you pointed your camera toward his face, letting it take in his beautiful features. “What is the best thing about conventions?”

“Besides getting to talk to pretty women like you who interview me, you mean?”

“Yes,” You said firmly, trying not to let the blush creep up your cheeks. Jensen had intoxicating emerald eyes that could floor any woman that walked by him. But you were determined to not let that happen. “Besides that.”

“The fans, definitely,” He smiled, looking down at his hands. “They’re the reason this show has gotten as far as it has. We wouldn’t be anywhere without them.”

You nodded knowingly, “I get that. So…now about you. Let’s dig deep into the world of Jensen.”

He smiled, then leaned forward, “What do you wanna know? I’ll tell you anything.”

You let out a light chuckle, then started asking him some simple questions. What he liked to do on his time off, what kind of music was on his playlist at the moment. Then you took a deep breath and looked up at him, catching his beautiful eyes.

“Are you single?”

He smiled softy and looked down, then back up again at you, then down again. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

You smiled, then winked at him, confidence taking over you, “Yeah…yeah I would, Jensen.”

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Terrifying Thought:

Superman rolling up his sleeves.

I don’t know how I would feel if I managed to make Superman so angry that he goes full farmhand and rolls up those blue sleeves of his. 

You now see Superman’s forearms and they are even more terrifying bare.

This is the “Alright, now I’m serious” of clothing gestures, topped only by “Hold my Rings”.

I just think if I saw Superman do that, I would actually feel bad for the villain (if only a little). If I WAS the villain, I would just give up.

I know what he can do to me with the sleeves down –  I’m not going to risk it.

anonymous asked:

(A drabble request for SaM, please, because my heart is broken in half: can you write something sweet, like Satan trying to act cool and casual in front of a Natalie who ACTUALLY HAS HER MEMORIES *sobs*)

please listen to this while reading.

“how’s it going?” he says as she opens her eyes. he grins. (it’s a wobbly grin, but a grin nonetheless.) she smiles. (it’s a wobbly smile, but it’s a smile nonetheless.) “it’s not bad,” she murmurs back. “i hurt a little, but that’s to be expected when you die, i guess.” her eye start to water and she snuffles and satan scoffs. “oh, c’mon. none of that. why’re you crying now? just be happy to bask in my presence, girl.” she slaps his chest lightly but moves closer anyway.

“how’d you get me back, anyway?”

his face goes blank and he scoops her hands into his, studying them intently. “that’s nothing for you to worry yourself with right now.” she cocks her head as best as possible while lying down, but doesn’t press it. he lifts a hand to his mouth and brushes his mouth against it. “how ‘bout i make dinner?” she bites her lip, but nods. he sits up.


“yeah -?”

“it’s alright.” he turns to find her crawling closer and freezes as she covers him up in her duvet. his shock gives way to stunned disbelief as she climbs underneath it with him and brings his face to hers. “it’s not your fault,” she says, almost pleadingly. he grins sorrowfully. “it is.”

“is not.”

“is too.”

“is no -” she is abruptly cut off by his mouth covering hers. she gasps in surprise before melting into it.

he pulls away briefly to say something (to which natalie mewls in protest). “i love you, too.”

the blush that encompasses her face makes him tackle her all over again, and it is okay.

it will be —

— okay.

additional notes: after which probably there is lots of kissing and giggling n tickling. i hope this is okay? theres really no plot but i just needed the healing power of the fluff.

Late Nights

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: In which Tony, Steve, and Bruce wake you up with their squabbling and you end up in Bucky’s room admitting feelings.

A/N: This story is all over the place, but I literally whipped it out an hour ago because I’ve been missing for weeks. Sorry guys. Hopefully, this will appease some of you.

You always knew your fellow teammates could be immature, insane, and a little annoying. 

But right now, under duress and severe sleep deprivation, you’ve officially dubbed them as inconsiderate brats. 

Grown ass, inconsiderate brats that possess the most powerful tech, efficient minds, and absurd strength. 

With all those advantages at their disposal, you’d think they’d find and utilize means to problem solve and muddle out of inner conflict without inducing bodily harm or witty verbal abuse at three in the morning. 

But no, none of the boys could ever use their brains or act their age, not even in the middle of the night, while the more normal side of the group slept. 

You lied on your back, wide awake, with red-rimmed eyes fixated on the ceiling listening to every hushed insult that slithered, unwelcome, into your room and ears. 

The hands clutching your blanket to your chest tightened their grip with every sound. 

“Stark, this isn’t right." 

"Uh, Rogers, you’re kind of intruding on my moment, mind taking your misguided principles elsewhere." 

You could picture the crease in Steve’s brow, and Tony’s condescending glare. 


You could even imagine Banner’s guilty expression and diplomatic hand gestures. They were probably in each other’s faces and if that was the case…Steve is going to sa- 

"Put on the suit,” Yes. Steve was going to challenge to Tony, again

You groaned inwardly and violently kicked off your blanket. You shoved your feet into the slippers next to your bed and stomped loudly to the door. The voices outside became deathly silently. 

You grinned madly and threw open your door with enough force to knock it off its hinges. 

“Good morning boys,” you greeted, manic murderous expression in place. "Being assholes as usual, I see.“ 

They all shifted awkwardly, as Steve coughed into his hand. Tony pointed the pen between his fingers accusingly at Steve. "All him." 

You twitched. "Of course,” you replied blandly, unamused. “Steve is always the one man show, hm.”

 Then with movements to quick to see you began your vicious assault on them.

"You want to be loud and obnoxious?!” you growled, flinging everything adorning the table next to you at the horrified men. “You want to blame each other, huh???" 

All three of them ducked immediately, desperate to avoid the screws and the small sharp metal fragments at them. 

"Ack wai-" 

You were in no mood to let any of them get a word in. You scooped up the next objects and wasted no time sending them sailing through the air. 

"Hey I-" 

You aimed the particularly heavy book at Tony’s face and he had to abruptly cut himself off and dive onto the tiled floor to avoid it. Steve inched toward you next while Bruce wisely slid behind one of the cabinets in the lab. 

You glared at him hard and your hair whipped around your face fiercely. You held a glass container filled with a sickly colored green liquid high in your hand. 


"You’re going to hurt us if you keep this up,” he said meekly. 

What do you think I’ve been trying to do!“ you bellowed. Steve winced and said a prayer inwardly before he raised his hands to his chest cautiously. 

"We didn’t mean to wake you…" 

You widened your stance and lowered yourself threateningly, your glass weapon still poised high in the air. "Well you did.”

Steve had to resist the urge to sigh. “I’m sorry…no- we’re all,” he gestured to Banner who was still cowering behind the steel cabinet, and to Tony who stubbornly kept his face down on the floor with his hands over his head, “we’re very sorry. We’re going to call it a night, and leave all unfinished business for the morning." 

You were somewhat appeased, but your eyes still shot imaginary lasers at him. You narrowed them into slits and gave him your best dirty look. "Always the diplomat,” you muttered. “I forgive you all." 

They all let out a relieved sigh. 

You gave them a smile filled with dark promise. "I know you guys won’t destroy anything during your future pissing contest right?" 

Steve gave his fellow comrades a quick look and then nodded quickly. 


Then, you set the glass back on the table, and while Steve’s guard was down, you picked up the stapler and brutally chucked it at his head. He barely had time to dodge, and you relished in his appalled state. 

“Goodnight guys.”

 There were garbled responses as you retreated. Garbled responses that would soon escalate to arguing once more. You were no fool. You knew they’d start it all again. 

Begrudgingly, you walked down a few doors and turned at the nearest hallway. 

Without preamble, you softly opened the door to Bucky’s room and waited for the cool metal to encompass your neck. 

“It’s just me,” you whispered.

 The grip loosened and then slackened completely. 

Bucky’s eyes strained to search yours in the darkness of the room. 

“Why don’t you ever knock,” he questioned, walking back to the bed. 

“It’s not my thing." 

As he got under the covers and adjusted his pillow, you moved to join him. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and lazily pointed his finger in the general direction of the lab. "Just like them being quiet isn’t theirs." 

Sure enough, you could hear the muffled noises of them squabbling and picking up all of the items you had thrown.

"Essentially, except they’re idiots." 

You snuggled up against Bucky and enjoyed the complex feel of the warmth of his body and the cool metal of his arm. 

You allowed yourself to smile as his chest shook with a light chuckle. "As if you walking into an assassin’s room isn’t stupid." 

"I guess their stupidity is infectious,” you murmured. “Besides, this assassin,” you nudged your nose against his cheek, “secretly adores me and loves when I come in here." 

"That may be true,” he replied, kissing your forehead. “Even though you’re only using me to steal my warmth and take advantage of my quieter room.”

 "I am not!“ 

"You never come in here unless you’re cold or they’re loud." 

"I come here for sex too,” you protested. 

Bucky smirked. “You’re not helping your case." 

"I wasn’t aware this was one." 

"Well now there is. What do you have to say for yourself?" 

You rolled your eyes. "Well, Barnes, typically when a girl has sex with you, expresses emotions, and spends her time with you, she’s hinting she adores you too and isn’t just using you.." 

He is silent for a moment. 

"So…you adore me?" 

Were all boys dense? Did he really think you didn’t mutually like him like…that after all you’ve done together.

You buried your face in his chest. "Yeah." 

”…You like me?“

 "Obviously,” you replied. “This is getting redundant.”

 "It’s not like we’ve ever actually discussed this.“ Bucky clicked his tongue. "This is more than friendship with sex and cuddles?" 


 "Well,” he mumbled thoughtfully. “I can finally admit that…" 

He gently pulled you away from his chest and smiled at you. It’s so bright, even in the dark. 

"I love you.”

Tagging: @buckys-fossil , @theriumking , @minouki61 , @sebastiansatan82 , @pietro-no , @canumoveyourseatup-no , and I’m missing people, I’m sorry.

tea time for anon. prompt: secrets

some of the deepest secrets are the ones that are out in the open. 

some scouts have booze, others stray cats, many have special spaces in the training woods with their names carved out in the bark of tree trunks. levi has none of these. there’s no diary under his mattress, or lacy underwear deep within his dresser drawers. he has no hidden space to hide contraband, or a mistresses out in the capital. levi is as closed a book as he is open. he hides nothing about his interests or his intentions. in his stoicism is the truth, and everybody seems to have him figured out.

it’s no secret that erwin and levi are close. there’s rumors about them, but even if they are true, they don’t effect morale. mortality rate is too high to care about sexuality, about relationships, about anything much else but oneself. erwin is a capable and ruthlessly intelligent leader. levi is the strongest and most compassionate of them all. their secret is public, but it just somehow makes them stronger. a bond worth fighting for, even from on the outside, even from their men and women that have taken the wings. because together they fight for humanity; together they are humanity’s greatest hope.

erwin has levi mapped out. he has a routine, sticks to it so strictly that if it strays he becomes a compressed bottle of rage. erwin is included in on this routine–from sunrise to dusk, he’s cared for in little ways. shined boots, oiled leather straps, groomed horse, restocked blades. erwin has stopped fighting him on these things, appreciates being thought of because sometimes he forgets to think of himself. when on base, they’re almost always together. erwin knows levi; erwin knows everything about levi.

that is until his finger hooks into levi’s uniform pocket, his lips lingering on his captain’s. he leans back in his chair, digs his finger deeper down into the pocket as levi tries to move away. he succeeds, shoves erwin’s hand and steps aside from his desk.

“levi?” erwin says softly. he misses the heat on his skin, the smell of dark tea and honey on his breath. levi stands with his back to erwin, brings his hands up to his breast pocket and tucks the paper back in. “what is it?”


erwin wants to reach out to him, drag him back into his arms and feel the softness of his skin against his own. “all right.”

levi’s hand stays on top of his pocket before he finally takes the paper out. he holds it in his hands, folded and frayed around the edges, having been worn against denim for so long it has started to tear along the folds. his finger draws under the edge and he opens the paper as he turns to face erwin. he reads the words scrawled across the surface as erwin watches him intently, curiously. levi hands him the paper, his head down, as if he is a scolded child waiting to be reprimanded.

erwin takes it, eyebrow raised, and holds it carefully in front of the candlelight. the parchment is rough to the touch, and the pulp of the paper has rubbed away some of the ink of the words. it’s clearly levi’s handwriting, beautiful and careful with each loop of his cursive. it makes erwin’s heart seize–everything about this man is nothing short but awe-inspiring.

he reads it again. and a third time. there’s not much written on it, four words to be exact: he sees the sky.

erwin looks up, his eyebrows drawn close, and asks silently for an explanation. “i don’t know.” levi says quietly.

“a mantra?”

“i guess.” levi trails. there’s something he’s not saying, something he’s unable to say, but is trying to find the words. he sighs with frustration before settling on something. “i guess i forget sometimes.”

“forget what?”

“why i’m here.”

erwin places the paper down onto the desk. “to protect and free humanity, was it not?”

“yes.” levi says. “or it was.” levi turns his gaze up to the office windows behind erwin. he’s afraid he’s already said too much.

“how do you mean?”

“i should be looking at the sky too.”

erwin runs a hand along his cheek, his brow creasing with more thought, as if levi has presented him with an incredibly difficult riddle. “i am not sure i follow.”

“you’ve become my sky.”

erwin looks up from the paper, stares slack jawed at his captain who refuses to look back at him. there’s a sadness in levi’s eyes, something darker than usual. erwin has seen him deal with grief, has seen the minute differences of the creases of his skin as he works through each emotion. but this brought out lines along his eyes that made him look much older than his age, like the reveal had taken twenty years off of his life and cast it ugly across his features.

“i see…”

he sees now. this secret that is not a secret. this secret that levi wore in his pocket, a reminder to deny his feelings in the face of freedom. that outside of erwin’s office and bedroom, he has to play the role of weapon for humanity, to dedicate his heart to them instead of him. and even though they knew–their soldiers, hange, mike, nanaba… they never once felt the hesitation levi always had to fight against. the need and desire to protect one–to live and fight for erwin and erwin alone.

erwin folds the paper again, making sure to fold exactly as it had been so many times in the past and leaves it on the center of his desk. “it is difficult for me at times as well.” 

levi looks at him now, the whites of his eyes showing more. “how?”

“you are my soldier.” erwin closes his eyes and sighs softly out of his nose. “i fear the day i hesitate to put you into harm’s way.”

levi studies erwin, watches as erwin’s face falls into blankness fitting only for stone, and leans over to pick up the paper. he holds it over the candle flame, waits for it to catch before pulling it out and letting it burn between his fingers. they both watch, the flames licking and crawling up ladders of burning paper, until levi shakes his hand and lets the small nub of parchment fall to the desk and burn itself to ash.

“we can’t let anything get in the way.” levi says flatly.

erwin’s lips draw thin. he nods once, slowly, morosely. “understood.” but he doesn’t, and neither does levi. 

war knows no bounds–much like love. but they never, ever wanted to have to find it. never thought they could find it. never thought they were worthy of finding it. and now they wish it to be a thing that never had found its way to them. to not have it etched so deeply upon their hearts, burning under the shadows of white and blue wings and along fields of bloodied men. 

where the only futures that were open to them were ones that could hold no promises.

tag urself im birdman (‘ <’)

(inspired by @madlyfluffy​ and their version of the meme; do that one first!)


ginkgo leaves are falling

The Great Wave of Kanagawa

~10cm across (chinese watercolor and ink)

Safety First!

I am not gonna say I know too much about spiritual safety; there are a ton of people who will tell you about warding and protection magics and whatever else witches do when dabbling in the existence of the universe, BUT,
Witches in mortal bodies are still restricted by physical limits. Most adult witches already have this down…but let us run though a few things I would personally suggest. You know. For the kids. 

  1. If you are wearing fancy robes or long skirts and will be dancing around, do not leave your candles at foot height! I do not want you nor your ritual wear meeting fire quite so personally that it leaves burns, okay?
  2. Don’t drink rainwater that has been sitting out too long outside or that hasn’t been boiled properly. (Also, it may be illegal to collect in your state. I don’t know why. Google it.)
  3. Don’t add a heckton of herbs into your foods without googling the side effects. Dandelion is a delicious garden green great in salads. It can also be a diuretic in certain quantities. Take care and do your research. 
  4. Try not to snuff candles out with any part of your body. Use something non-flammable (like a candle snuffer, for instance) to stop oxygen from feeding the flame and gently stop the chemical reaction.
  5. Speaking of which, Never Leave Your Lit Candles Alone When You Leave Your Home!!! Pretty sure y’all know this one…but I worry.
  6. If you do not have a fancy incense-burning-bowl, a ceramic or metal bowl will suffice IF you put a filler, usually sand, between the burning incense and the bowl  so that the bowl does not crack on you and then almost set your house aflame (which happened to a witch I know. True story). 
  7. If you have to quickly hide candles after using them, you can dunk the wicks into water so you don’t burn yourself handling them still hot
  8. If you have those huge sleeves and you’re working with candles, have a pail of water or one of those fire-extinguishers-in-a-can on standby. Be careful swinging them around. 
  9. If you’re a very walk-in-the-woods, close-to-nature, barefoot kinda witch, please bring some neosporin or something because you can get parasites (ACK) and infections (ICK) if the eggs or the germs gets into any cuts on your feet. 
  10. Don’t get sugar scrubs for bathing spells into your genitals (especially those of in possession of vaginas) ‘cause it’ll screw up the PH and you’ll become increasingly prone to infections. Shower with that, but try not to bathe in sugar
  11. I don’t know how y’all do blood magic, but if it’s coming out of your (or a donor’s) veins, sterilize everything. Use things that you can safely boil and sterilize both the site of laceration as well as all instruments before and after you retrieve blood because you never know. 
  12. If you’re making like a campfire outside, make a clearly defined fire pit by brushing any debris away (great opportunity for using a besom too), setting a perimeter with something fireproof, like bricks or stones, and giving the fire about a radius’s worth of space all around. I do not want your nor your coven-siblings to catch aflame. 


I think that this is all I can think of now, and perhaps I’ll update this later, but if ANYONE has ANY sort of advice they learnt, the easy way or the hard way, PLEASE ADD TO THIS LIST  because I see a lot of people saying to be careful but not a lot of witches telling you how to be careful