Also Valhalla. When I bite into Valhalla, I get the sensation that I’m sitting at the open door of a flying car barreling deep into the Arctic where a band of Valkyrie warriors awaits me to join them among in the Hall of the Slain to do battle with unspeakable evils across the globe.
Compare this to other books, which taste mostly of paper or Kindle screen.
A York Peppermint Pattie being split open next to your ear, porcelain teacups being clinked together, a grand piano being played in an empty room, leaves crunching underneath your feet, coffee beans being ground up, the pages of a book being turned absentmindedly, a nightingale, foam soap dispensers, a clock ticking, a computer being typed on with quick fingers, that sound when someone is messaging your head through your hair, silk being pressed against silk, crickets on a summer night, air howling by an ajar door, knocking on wood
I went to grandmas house and I’m in her kitchen and she’s like “Mija look at this mango it’s so ripe!” And I’m like “omg it smells great!!!!” And she goes “isn’t it? Imma put it in your purse !”
Like I literally came with a Stromboli for her and she sent me home with 1 mango, 4 York peppermint patties, 2 coffee cakes, and she anointed me with holy oil from Jerusalem.
Me(an idiot): My eyes feel so heavy, maybe if I put some peppermint oil under them I’ll feel more awake.
Me (now): IT’S LIKE I’M WEARING A FACE MASK MADE OUT OF A LISTERINE STRIP! IS THIS GREAT OR AM I GOING TO DIE!? IT’S LIKE JUST MY EYES ARE IN CHICAGO IN JANUARY! IT’S LIKE A SPA TREATMENT BUT INSTEAD OF CUCUMBERS IT’S TWO SMASHED YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIES! I SHOULD HAVE RESEARCHED BEFORE I DID THIS!