soldier 76 has been on neopets.com essentially since its inception, and has both the site trophies and the crushing, all consuming cynicism to prove it. he only goes on the neoboards to constantly whine about how jumpstart is killing the site. its rumored that he sometimes randomly gifts expensive items or large amounts of np to newbies, but no one can prove it. his only neopet is an elderly ogrin
reaper is constantly getting his accounts iced for trying to find ways to circumvent the neoboards swear filter. he hangs out on the evil things & monster sightings and newbies boards and uses that “evil? … oh yeah!” jhudora avatar
lúcio is the reigning yooyuball champion and usually only logs in for the altador cup and lurks the rest of the year. he has those really big unwieldy audio players on his userlookup and pet pages but great taste in copyright-free tunes so its all good. famously nice to newbies, all of his pets are nimmos also 
symmetra codes neolookups and fonts for people for fun and is really good at it, but is prone to outright ignoring any criticism of her codes. all of her pets are colored either sketch or dimensional. is a regular on the avatar chat boards and knows how to convince literally anyone to lend her the avatar items she needs
pharah is the literal human embodiment of “just thought i’d add that i’ve reported everyone in this thread including myself”. her only pet is a robot eyrie with a really good name and it’s the envy of all. really invested in site plots whenever they happen, is probably one of the only people on the roleplay boards who actually tries to roleplay neopets characters 
roadhog has four well painted, excellently customized moehogs who he regularly enters into the customization spotlight to excellent results. he also has a spotlight-winning gallery dedicated to snorkels and snorkel-related items. he rarely goes on the boards, and when he does its usually just to comment on off topic and obvious troll threads with “stop”
junkrat keeps getting frozen for impersonating TNT 
widowmaker is a neo-enigma. she has really expensively painted pets and a fully stocked gallery but she almost never posts on the board, choosing instead to lurk silently and randomly report people for really minor infractions of the rules just for the fun of it. in the same guild as reaper but is also part of the reason he keeps getting iced. sometimes hangs out on vampire roleplay threads and is horrendously pretentious, often posting 2-page intros for her characters and then disappearing forever. uses the vira avatar
zarya is a master battledomer and is as terrifyingly intense and serious as you’d expect a 28 year old on the neopets.com battledome chat to be. has zero tolerance for people who use restocking bots or illegal sites to buy items 
hanzo once reported his younger brother for spamming the help chat and has felt nothing but remorse ever since
mccree is secretly the user who submitted the legendary ““Ahh Mr.sneky i see you are wering your fance top”” caption to the caption contest. theneopetsteam assumed the caption was submitted by a child and loved it but in fact it was sent in by an incredibly stoned adult cowboy
tracer is just here to have a good time. she hangs out on the newbies chat a lot but is fairly benign and doesnt start drama. has 3 unpainted, poorly named pets she picked up in the pount and 1 very well named alien aisha. her account is only a month old, but has been around long enough to remember plots and neoboard drama from years ago
winston is a mod

ok im really sleepy i’ll think of more of these later