..This is a really pretty long intensive list of the headcanons I have for the HW altador cup team members (including retired ones) :( I just love them a lot.
- Born in Neovia - Was bitten and afflicted with lycanthropy sometime in his teens - His family tried to cover it up best as they could because while Neovia is part of the Haunted Woods and they’ve become more accepting of mutants, were-creatures, ghouls etc. since the TOW plot many older residents still regard them with a lot of fear and suspicion. - As he got older the fact that he’s a werekyrii got harder and harder to cover up until it seemed like he could no longer revert to his original form. - IDK but I imagine him with a really thick english accent.
- He uses potions which allow him to play in broad daylight (without y’know, turning to ash. Poor vampire) - Like a classic vampire he has to be invited into a house to enter it. It gets really annoying when he goes out to get neocola or takeout or something to bring to his teammates places and NOBODY WANTS TO ANSWER THE F*KIN DOOR.
The Alatador Cup is coming up. You may be having trouble deciding what team to support, so allow me to shamelessly advertise
Robots: We are (as of last year) the only team with robots on it. How cool is that?
Girl Power: Okay, so we may not have a majority female team, but we do have a female captain, and Sela Pretore is the essence of girl power personified.
Fashion: Can you name on team with a better color combination than red and grey? (And don’t say Haunted Woods)
Moral Ambiguity: Not in the sense that it’s a team of anti-heroes, but in the sense we really don’t know what side they’re on. Common fan interpretation is that the team are minions of Dr. Sloth, but there are those who headcanon otherwise.
Pathos: Keetra Deile is widely regarded as a Yooyuball prodigy, and there were expectations she would lead the team to great victory. In the first Altador Cup, Virtupets got last place, and Keetra Deile was awarded “Biggest Underachiever.” No way that hasn’t stuck with her.
Weldar Xupenfarb: Be honest, you want a team with a tower of beef and a nice smile. We’ve got that.
Sela Pretore: You look at her and try to tell me she isn’t one of Neopia’s premiere gay icons.
Shipping: The biggest Team Virtupets ship is Keetra Deile/Sela Pretore. You don’t have to learn about any other teams for the sake of shipping!
Postfurry: If you’re into that kinda thing, we’ve got it.
Not Enough Furry: If you’re not into Postfurry, and prefer flesh-and-blood furries to robots, we are sadly lacking in that regard.
We Don’t Win: Okay, so we’ve won once, which puts us ahead of a couple of teams, but we tend to do really poorly overall. This is not a safe team if you really want to back a winner.
Aldric Beign: We don’t have him. I’m sorry, but we just don’t. If you want Aldric Beign, you have to back Moltara.
Not Trans Enough: Unlike some other teams, we don’t have any officially trans players. We have our headcanons, of course, but if you’re looking for canon trans representation, we do not have that.
(Feel free to reblog with your own teams’ pros and cons.)
soldier 76 has been on neopets.com essentially since its inception, and has both the site trophies and the crushing, all consuming cynicism to prove it. he only goes on the neoboards to constantly whine about how jumpstart is killing the site. its rumored that he sometimes randomly gifts expensive items or large amounts of np to newbies, but no one can prove it. his only neopet is an elderly ogrin reaper is constantly getting his accounts iced for trying to find ways to circumvent the neoboards swear filter. he hangs out on the evil things & monster sightings and newbies boards and uses that “evil? … oh yeah!” jhudora avatar lúcio is the reigning yooyuball champion and usually only logs in for the altador cup and lurks the rest of the year. he has those really big unwieldy audio players on his userlookup and pet pages but great taste in copyright-free tunes so its all good. famously nice to newbies, all of his pets are nimmos also symmetra codes neolookups and fonts for people for fun and is really good at it, but is prone to outright ignoring any criticism of her codes. all of her pets are colored either sketch or dimensional. is a regular on the avatar chat boards and knows how to convince literally anyone to lend her the avatar items she needs pharah is the literal human embodiment of “just thought i’d add that i’ve reported everyone in this thread including myself”. her only pet is a robot eyrie with a really good name and it’s the envy of all. really invested in site plots whenever they happen, is probably one of the only people on the roleplay boards who actually tries to roleplay neopets characters roadhog has four well painted, excellently customized moehogs who he regularly enters into the customization spotlight to excellent results. he also has a spotlight-winning gallery dedicated to snorkels and snorkel-related items. he rarely goes on the boards, and when he does its usually just to comment on off topic and obvious troll threads with “stop” junkrat keeps getting frozen for impersonating TNT widowmaker is a neo-enigma. she has really expensively painted pets and a fully stocked gallery but she almost never posts on the board, choosing instead to lurk silently and randomly report people for really minor infractions of the rules just for the fun of it. in the same guild as reaper but is also part of the reason he keeps getting iced. sometimes hangs out on vampire roleplay threads and is horrendously pretentious, often posting 2-page intros for her characters and then disappearing forever. uses the vira avatar zarya is a master battledomer and is as terrifyingly intense and serious as you’d expect a 28 year old on the neopets.com battledome chat to be. has zero tolerance for people who use restocking bots or illegal sites to buy items hanzo once reported his younger brother for spamming the help chat and has felt nothing but remorse ever since mccree is secretly the user who submitted the legendary ““Ahh Mr.sneky i see you are wering your fance top”” caption to the caption contest. theneopetsteam assumed the caption was submitted by a child and loved it but in fact it was sent in by an incredibly stoned adult cowboy tracer is just here to have a good time. she hangs out on the newbies chat a lot but is fairly benign and doesnt start drama. has 3 unpainted, poorly named pets she picked up in the pount and 1 very well named alien aisha. her account is only a month old, but has been around long enough to remember plots and neoboard drama from years ago winston is a mod
ok im really sleepy i’ll think of more of these later
Reblog if you would watch a yooyuball sports anime
Because let’s be honest: By now there are enough gay headcanons and team drama to satisfy everyone for an entire season. Maybe not everyone in the neotag is weeb trash like I am, but that’s all I can think about right now.
i hate when ur trying to score goal but then the opposing team’s goalie keeps catching the yooyuball and then throws it out but then u catch it again and it’s like ALRIGHT buddy i didn’t sign up to playing fucking CATCH with my pops im tryna SMOKE UR TEAM”S AŚS IN YOOYUBALL OKAY