How old do I have to be before I enter that group of older Homestucks that arent obnoxious or loud and are just chill and funny and we all make fun of each other for still liking Homestuck like when does this happen?
To have some dreams, you have to let go of others.
You know that now.
It was all you wanted; every wish at 11:11, every bedtime
prayer, every birthday candle blowout – please
let my music take me somewhere.
And it’s a stroke of luck, a hand of fate with a dash of
skill and an abundance of perseverance – you got your wish.
Some might say it’s those dandelion wishes that the wind
blew in the right places, but you knew it
was the band practices until your fingernails bled, it was the sleepless nights
writing and revising and composing, it was leaving your heart out on a stage no
matter how small, giving all you could no matter how little people wanted it.
It was hard work and it was skill acquired and talent honed
and that’s how you made it, that’s how your dreams came true.
And then your life became the dream, your reality everything
you used to imagine in your head.
The big screen and your voice booming from speakers,
warbling from radios across the world – pictures of you and your friends
plastered on everyday windows, your names displayed on big arenas for all to
The fans that chant your name, the flash of cameras and the
kisses from those who loved you, just a girl who worked hard for her dreams –
you became a star, you became a hero and
suddenly you had thousands of people who loved you, who followed your every
move and viewed you as something incredible – a high return for someone doing
what they love, you think.
Tours to cities that half the world would never get to see,
people all around the world cheering for you, day after day in someplace new,
night after night playing the songs that you wrote in your pajamas when you
were sixteen, the crowd singing back as a form of appraisal, saying you made it with flashing lights and
echoes of your name that live on even after the show’s done.
There’s the interviews where you’re asked all the questions
that made you feel like you were important, like you were a subject that people
always wanted to learn more about, that people could never get enough of –
morning routines and relationships, music and experiences – people wanted to
know you, people were begging for
more about you from pictures to answers and you were wanted, you were
You learned soon
enough though, that having the world in your palm meant having to drop
something else to carry it.
You dropped your family to go on tours, you dropped your
privacy to go out on the road, you dropped relationships to carry a career.
You didn’t think your dreams would come for free, now did you?
You gained everything there was to gain – friends and fame
and money – but you lost some along the way, little pieces that were shed from
your life, things you didn’t notice until you realized you missed it when it
And being in this entertainment industry, gaining more and
more and getting almost everything at a near alarming rate of success – it’s
hard to remember that you can’t get everything you want when you feel as if the
world lies in your palm.
But you know it, when you lie alone in bed at night.
Because living out a dream just meant having to dream of new
ones at the end of every day.
Now you dream of him.
And instead of bright lights you see his green eyes glimmering,
instead of crowds of thousands it’s just him whispering your name, instead of
awards in your hands it’s just his touch on your skin.
You dreamed of him, and like all dreams, he was far and
unattainable, too impossible to reach.
You had your dreams come true once, but don’t you think it’s
a little selfish to want more?
It isn’t until you had everything you wanted that you
realized you were missing the basics of what you needed.
It was him, it was him and the way he made you smile without
even meaning to, him and the way his lips would feel against your own, him and
the way he could make your heart flutter like no one else can.
And the worst part is, you know he dreams of you too.
You see it in the way he looks at you, in the soft words
that bubbled out of his lips when he confessed I want to be more to you.
You could have him, you could have your dream come true –
but you had to choose which dream meant more to you.
Because you’d never have Michael when you were travelling
the world as he did the same in an opposite direction, you’d never have Michael
when there were cameras everywhere trying to steal what the two of you had in
tabloids and vicious comments, you’d never have Michael without a thousand
miles in between you and a pool of angry fans making sure there’d be a void no
matter how hard you tried to reach him.
You couldn’t have one dream without losing another.
You’d never be able to coordinate times and schedules, you’d
never be able to share memories and moments, you’d never be able to have
And he knows it too.
You could have a fragment of a relationship, you could have a
taste of a dream – but things like this in a life like yours never last, not in
this reality, not while living this dream.
You both had paths to walk and you both dreamt of bright
lights and endless fans, you both wanted the travel and the music, you both
wished upon the same star for a skyrocket in this passion you chose to pursue.
You were lucky enough to receive it and so was he, but such
luck couldn’t extend for everything.
It can’t work – I… I’m
sorry. I wish it could. I wish we could.
Maybe you were meant for the same great things but forced to
travel on different paths with opposite schedules, maybe dreams had hidden
teeth that tore away at the things you had to let go of to live it, payment for
what you wished for.
You travel the world and you receive awards and you make it
platinum and you’re as prized as gold, but at the end of the day, you’re still
dreaming of something you can’t have.
And you know that somewhere out there, in the criss-cross of
the world, he was tossing in his own bed, thinking of the girl that he could
Some dreams were meant to be just that – nothing more than
intangible pieces of imagination.