Summary: You have a perfect life. A perfect little house,
perfect little son who just went to Kindergarten for the first time and
finally your more than perfect husband, whom you love more than your
life. Of course that was three weeks ago. Before your husband decided to
leave the family.
When you and Tae return from your work on Friday, he doesn’t
even let you take off his jacket properly. He quickly gets rid of his shoes and
runs off to somewhere in the house.
You know what he feels. Of course you know, don’t you feel
the same too? Everything inside your body is shaking from nervousness or
excitement or maybe anxiety, but this time you are determined to control
yourself. You are a mother. You won’t let yourself act like a teenager again.
Orochimaru's intense flexibility is like 85% he's just naturally flexible. As such, he knows Flexible Person Level Yoga to keep limber. (AKA, I had the idea of Oro in yoga clothes complete with hair done up and had to share)
I COULDN’T RESIST I’M SORRY.
It’s not his proudest moment,
but Sakumo takes one look at the newest occupant of the gym and walks into a
Thankfully, the gods are
merciful, because the very, very
lovely yoga practitioner doesn’t so much as blink while Dai fusses and Sakumo tries
(in vain) to wave him off and nurse his bruised nose and fractured dignity on
his own. He still can’t quite take his eyes off the man, even with the plaster
practically bearing the imprint of his face; the stranger is contorted, like a
handstand except his body is curled over to leave his feet in front of his head,
and the pose brings every sleek muscle into sharp definition.
Sakumo’s mouth is desert-dry,
and he has to swallow carefully.
“Shall I get you some ice, my
friend?” Dai asks with a hearty slap on the back, and by the twinkle in his eye
he knows exactly where Sakumo was
Sakumo gives his friend an
abashed look. “No, don’t bother. I’ll be fine.”
“You certainly will be,” Dai
says cheerfully, with a grin that’s almost a smirk, and disappears towards the weights.
Honestly, Sakumo doesn’t know
whether to be grateful or annoyed, because now he’s alone and that leaves him with far too few places to focus on that aren’t
the stranger’s long, lean legs in very brief shorts, or the masses of midnight
hair that are coming loose from a high bun, the bare chest arched at an extreme
angle, or the corded arms holding his entire bodyweight perfectly still and
Gods, Sakumo hasn’t been this
attracted to someone he doesn’t even know since high school.
He shakes his head at his own
ridiculousness, rising to his feet and collecting his towel and water bottle
before he turns to find the treadmills. Of course, the easiest path to them
takes him right past the yoga mats, but he keeps his eyes on the far wall and
tells himself very firmly not to be a creep.
Then, with a long, slow breath that’s
almost a sigh, the stranger unfolds. His stance shifts, legs extending and bending
further even as his wrists turn, and with a lithe flex of muscle he sets his
feet on the floor and pulls upright, coming to a stop inches from Sakumo’s nose.
Oh, Sakumo thinks, as long lashes slide up to reveal golden eyes
shadowed with dramatic sweeps of purple. Oh
holy hell, I’m in trouble.
The stranger blinks once, twice,
and then offers Sakumo a smile that’s just a little too sly not to short out Sakumo’s
brain. “Sorry about that,” he says lightly. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
I will happily devote my life to making sure you never stop paying attention to me again, Sakumo almost
says, but even with his brain currently leaking out his ears he isn’t that creepy.
“No problem,” he says instead,
and just hopes it doesn’t sound as strangled as he fears. “I should have gone
“Orochimaru!” someone calls, and
the man turns, loose strands of black hair swaying over the pale nape of his
neck. Sakumo wants to put his mouth there.
“Tsunade, you’re late,” Orochimaru
The blond woman in exercise
clothes rolls her eyes as she steps onto the mats. “Blame the pervert. He was
trying to get into the locker room.”
“Did you call an ambulance when
you were done with him?” Orochimaru’s smirking when he turns back, clearly
unconcerned with the fate of this third friend, and when he catches Sakumo’s eye
his expression shifts just slightly.
If Sakumo isn’t seeing things, that’s
a definite spark of interest, and it makes his breath catch in his throat.
“Of course not.” Tsunade looks
at Orochimaru, one brow rising, and then casts an assessing glance over Sakumo.
She pauses for a moment, and asks, “Sakumo Hatake, right?” Sakumo and Orochimaru
both look at her in surprise, and she smiles. “The pervert is Jiraiya. He’s
Sakumo is definitely going to take his friend to task later for not
mentioning that his other friend was transcendentally gorgeous and probably
capable of knocking Sakumo on his ass. And in more ways than one.
“I’m Sakumo, yes. It’s nice to
meet you,” he offers, and can’t help the way his eyes linger on Orochimaru as
he says it.
“It certainly is,” Orochimaru returns,
and offers one slim hand. His skin is cool, and Sakumo maybe lets his grip
linger longer than is entirely polite.
Orochimaru’s smile says he doesn’t
object at all. “Will you be here long?” he asks, tilting his head in a way that
makes that hair brush across his shoulders. “We could get coffee after, if you’ve
Sakumo has never had cause to be
jealous of hair before, but clearly
today is a day for discovering what new lows he can sink to.
It does help quite a lot that he’s
fairly certain that was an offer for a date.
“I can cut out any time,” he
offers, and at this point he doesn’t even care if he sounds too eager. “I was
just going to do a little lifting.”
Orochimaru’s eyes flicker down
to his biceps, bared by his loose tank top, and Sakumo thinks he sees him
swallow. “Well then. I’ll come find you when we’re through?”
Sakumo grins at him. “Works for
And gods, does it ever. Dubious
beginnings aside, this is promising to be a fantastic
A/N ok soooooo…. this wasnt a request it just popped into my head and wouldnt leave until I wrote it. Also there is a Warning of SPOILERS for FIFTY SHADES DARKER MOVIE and some adult content and language…. enoy
lol at the title i’m so sorry but like i couldn’t resist LOL sry if this is a giant vacuole of shit, but like the lil idea popped into my head, and so instead of requesting it from someone else, I thought i’d give a go at writing. But as you all probs know… i’m a double science major so i can’t write worth shat… lawls. anyways, idk why i can’t do anything without rambling. Enjoy this. It gave me a good chuckle.
word count: idk… a lot?
You wake up early this morning from the urgent sense to throw up. You try to be as discreet and quiet as possible so you don’t wake your snoozing husband, Shawn, who is laying in the bed next to you, but your old New York City apartment squeaks if you breathe the wrong way.
You ditch any effort of silence, though, when you feel the puke coming on, and within a matter of seconds you are hunched over the toilet bowl. As you are hurling your guts out, you feel a warm hand settle on your back and another move the baby hairs out of your face that have fallen out of your sleepy bun.
When you can’t puke anymore, you sit there almost draped over the toilet with your forehead resting on the seat. You never get sick like this. You haven’t puked since your freshman year of Uni, and that was only the result of an excessive amount of alcohol consumed during that infamous Delta Sig Frat party.
“Baby, are you okay? You don’t feel fevered or anything. Do you think you have food poisoning?” Shawn asks you after a few minutes when he decides you’re probably not going to throw up anymore.
“I don’t know, we didn’t eat anything weird for dinner last night. I don’t know what it could be.” You reply back, looking at the concern in his honey brown eyes. You get up off the floor and move to the sink to brush your teeth to try and get the horrible after taste out of your mouth.
In the middle of rinsing out your mouth, you start counting on your fingers after a thought pops into your head.
You drop the toothbrush in its holder and run to your closet trying to find some yoga pants and a t shirt to throw on.
“Babe, what… where are you going?” Shawn asks, following you back into the bedroom.
“I’m late” is all you say over and over again. You can’t find a t shirt of your own, so you hop over the bed to Shawn’s closet. You grab your favorite t shirt of his– the grey one with the Hogwarts crest on it– and his maroon hoodie that he swears you wear more than he does, and throw them on over some yoga pants, putting on your adidas sneakers right after.
“Hon, late for what? It’s Saturday.” He says, coming up to you and placing both of his hands on your shoulders to stop you from racing around the room like a maniac.
You stop moving at his touch and look right into his eyes, “I’m late, Shawn. I’m two weeks late.”
His eyes widen with surprise and his lips form an “O”.
“So..are you…does this mean…” He stutters, trying to form a coherent thought, but the idea of being a dad swirling around in his head is keeping him from being able to process.
“I don’t know… maybe? I gotta… i gotta go to the drugstore. Get a pregnancy test or something, right?”
You’re just as baffled as him. You’re both at the peak of your careers right now, so you never chanced unprotected sex. You’re about to graduate medical school and he is just three months away from releasing his fifth album.The thought of being parents was always super exciting and something the both of you wanted to do, but it always seemed so far into the future. You couldn’t possibly be pregnant now.
You return from the store about an hour later with 6 pregnancy tests (”I didn’t know what kind to get or what brand to get or what would be the most accurate or really anything about pregnancy tests or pregnancy in general because i’m only 24!”) and run into the bathroom so that you can take them. You pick the first one out of the bag and rip it open. As you’re peeing on the little stick, all you can think is “Please God, don’t let it be positive. Don’t let it be positive.”
Shawn keeps knocking on the door trying to get you to let him in, but you can’t. You can’t have him in here if you find out that you’re about to stall his career with a baby.
The timer on your phone rings signaling that the test is done, but you don’t even flinch. Shawn hears the sound through the door and starts knocking again.
“Y/n, please, I need to be in there with you. This isn’t just you. I’m the… I’m the dad.” He says softly through the door. You take a deep breath in and out. He’s right. This is happening to the both of you, not just to you. You decide to let him in before you look at the results.
At your first little jiggle of the handle to unlock the door, Shawn practically knocks it down trying to get in as fast as possible. He sees the little white stick sitting on the counter face down and instantly freezes.
“Have you looked at it yet?” He asks, not breaking his fixed stare at the test.
“I can’t. You have to. I can’t.” He looks at you with nervous eyes and walks over to the test, picking it up and flipping it over to look at the results.
You stare at his face anxiously awaiting to read his expression for signs of relief or regret, but his face stays expressionless.
“Y/N,” He starts, looking right at you.
“Yeah…” You reply nervously, eyes fixed on the test in his hands.
“I don’t know how to read one of these things.” He says, and a smile forms on his lips. You let out a shorty chuckle and smack your palm to your forehead.
“Damn, way to ruin a dramatic moment, babe” You say, but on the inside you’re glad that he found a way to lighten the mood. This is one of the many reasons why you’re absolutely certain that you married the right guy. The nerves evaporate from your body, and you start to get a little excited at the thought of having a baby with Shawn.
With this new feeling of reassurance, you take the stick from out of his hands and flip it over, knowing that if you drag out the process of discovering if you’re about to become a mom any longer you will actually explode.
You read the results on the stick and let out a breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding in and your stomach drops.
“So, does this mean I get to call you ‘Daddy’ now?” You say with a smile forming on your face.
Shawn’s eyes widen and he lets out a huge laugh before pulling you into a big hug. You wrap your arms around his neck and you feel yourself lifted of the ground. He spins you around before setting you back gently on the ground once he remembers that there’s now a baby in your tummy. His baby.
He drops down to his knees and presses his ear to your stomach as if he could actually hear the baby inside of you. Then, you start to hear a barely audible whisper saying “Hi, baby, I’m your dad. Me and your mom love you. We’re gonna love you and hold you and protect you forever. I can’t believe I’m actually your dad.”
You feel a few tears spill over down your cheeks, and one drops onto one of Shawn’s hands. He looks up at you with the biggest smile on his face that you have ever seen. He stands back up slowly and gently grabs your face. He leans in and kisses away the few tears on your cheeks, then your forehead, and down to the tip of your nose, finally pressing his soft lips agains yours.
“You’re going to be the best dad.” You say once you break apart from him.
“I love you so much.” He tells you, looking deep into your eyes before pulling you back in for another kiss.
a/n: I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO END IT I’M SORRY IF ITS TERRIBLE AJSRKJANSLJNA OK BYE
Lance being extremely flexible and Shiro cannot function. Shance.
Ooooohhh I do love a thirsty Shiro 👌🏻👌🏻👀
“Pidge, when I said I’d help you learn yoga, I didn’t realize how much help you actually needed.” “Fuck you. On so many goddamn levels, fuck you.” Shiro paused in his usual rounds through the Castle. It was late at night, everyone was usually in bed by now. Curious, he moved to the room the voices were coming from, wondering what exactly was going on.
The room was dimly lit by candles and the tiled floor had two mats, one blue and one green, laid out in the middle of the area. Pidge was currently struggling to do a certain pose on the green mat, Lance fluttering about her worriedly, carefully correcting her stance.
The young girl teetered to the side precariously, Lance gently adjusting her position. “No, you have to focus your weight to the center, not outwards.” The Cuban male corrected. Pidge huffed, straining as she balanced on one leg.
Shiro was more focused on the yoga pants Lance had on. Where did he even get those from anyway??? They, uh, certainly hugged his legs well… he swallowed at the sudden build up of saliva in his mouth. Do not think about those thighs, do not think about those thighs, do not think about those thighs…
Lance took up a position on the blue mat, easily stretching into the pose Pidge was struggling with. “Okay, so from the Tree, we go to the Ice Skater…” he proceeded to lean forward, extending a leg behind him with his arms out on either side.
“Now try the Pole Position…” Shiro’s jaw dropped as Lance straight up extended his leg up over his head, forming a perfect line with his legs. “Lance, I asked you to teach me this so I could maneuver better in small or tight spaces, not stretch me thin!” Pidge whined, breaking Shiro out of his trance.
Lance laughed, and proceeded to show her a lot more flexibility and stretches that before.
Shiro had to leave before they saw him. A cold shower was definitely needed after that display….
Cackles bc Thirsty Shiro and Oblivious Lance is my jam- the boy is lanky, and oooh boy is he flexible! Wonder what other positions Shiro imagines he can get into, eh? ;P
Ahhh those Drabbles look great! Are you doing them as well? If you are , I request 53 "I can't believe you talked me into this" im not sure what would be cuter Niall pouting and grumpy about something (like your icon) or Niall super excited about something and you have to be grumpy . (Though let's be real, he radiates happiness, sunshine and good thoughts. That shit is contagious.)
Anonymous said:number 3 for the prompt thing!
Anonymous said:Prompt 3! “Don’t fucking touch me”
I ended up combining these two - enjoy!!!!!!
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
Niall sank down another inch into the passenger seat of your car and let out an annoyed huff. You’d caught him in an extremely weak moment last night and gotten him to agree to join you at your favorite Bikram Yoga studio. He must’ve missed the part where you mentioned class was at 7am. You couldn’t really blame him for being distracted - your hands had been shoved down the front of his joggers while you traced the freckles along his neck with the tip of your tongue.
“Niall. You’re pouting. Relax, it’ll be fun and it’s good for you. Might actually do you some good to sweat out the last four nights of pints with the band.”
He shot forward in his seat, twisting to face you. “We’re building a rapport! Can’t go touring if I don’t even like the guys in me band!” Niall’s voice keened with offense. You just snickered softly to yourself at his outburst and patted him softly on his knee. You tucked your lip into your teeth trying desperately to suppress the giggle in your throat. He glared at you from the corner of his clear blue eyes and curled his lip into a sneer. “Don’t fucking touch me.” You snatched your hand back to grip the wheel and raised your eyebrow at the petulant man child seated next to you. “Ok Horan. I’ll remember that later.” Mornings had never been Niall’s strong suit and today was proving to be just more of the same. As you trained your eyes back on the road you caught Niall’s lips pulled down into a frown, probably realizing he’d just cock-blocked himself.
A/N: Was totally inspired by the tv show Friends on this one :). You, Bucky, Sam, and Steve spill some secrets
You were pulling the laundry out of the dryer, dancing around while you did chores, in some yoga pants and giant t-shirt. You noticed one of Bucky’s sweatshirts tossed carelessly on top of the washing machine. You pick it up biting your lip and inhale his scent. His scent always made you happy and leaves you feeling safe.
“I saw that.” Sam smirks at you from the door, having watched you jump at the sound of his voice. You drop the sweatshirt and shoot him a glare. You were busted. You can see his smirk and know that you had to make an excuse and fast.
“Saw what?” You huff at Sam crossing your arms over your chest. You look at him and know that whatever you say will mean nothing. You collect your basket of clothes and hold it on your hip.
“You need to tell him. We all can see it.” Sam says as you brush past him into the living room. He wastes no time in following you, practically smashing into you as you walk faster to try to escape him.
“I can’t, don’t be stupid.” You say over your shoulder at him. Just as Sam was about to retort, Bucky and Steve came into the living room having just finished their run. Both men were slightly flushed from exhaustion, but carefree none the less.
“Don’t be stupid about what?” Steve questions, looking between you and Sam. Bucky looks at you both with a curious expression, his head titled slightly. Steve raises his eyebrows at you both expecting an answer.
“Nothing” you announce quickly readying yourself to leave the room and out of Bucky’s gaze. You begin to make your way out out of the room still balancing the basket on your hip.
“Awww come on spill Y/n!” Steve laughs, this was going to be good judging by your appearance. You looked as if you were going to run screaming from the room at any moment. You were shifting your weight from foot to foot and biting your lip. Sam began to open his mouth as if he was going to spill your secret, “Don’t you dare Wilson!”
You drop your laundry basket on the chair and make your way to stand beside Steve who is facing Sam and Bucky. You cross your arms again, looking anywhere but at the men near you.
“Leave her alone, if she doesn’t want you to tell then don’t.” Bucky defends you, moving to stand across from you. You shoot him a thankful smile and turn to pick your laundry basket back up again and make your way to your room.
“He’s defending you! Tell him!” Sam demands stopping you in your tracks. You turn to face the three men now staring at you. You drop your basket letting the plastic hit the wood floor loudly.
“Just leave her alone Sam, She doesn’t need to say anything unless she wants to” Bucky defends you again shooting another grin that has you melting. Sam gets a big grin on his face and you know what is coming. You are about to lunge at him to try and cover his big mouth. Before you can even move it is too late.
“Y/n steals bucky’s sweatshirts to sleep in, cause she likes the way Bucky smells.” Sam announces with a shit eating grin. You gasp and stare at him shocked. You turn towards Bucky who is looking at you with an unreadable expression and Steve has the making of a small grin forming on his face.
You furiously point at Sam and scream, “Yeah? Well Sam had a SEX dream about STEVE!”
Steve immediately turned to Sam with a shocked expression, while Sam looked on horrified at the change of topic. Bucky howled with laughter, almost unable to catch his breath. Steve sensing his wingman’s discomfort, decides to rat out his brother in arms. “Bucky is in love with Y/N!”
Bucky gasps and looks at you with wide eyes, which then narrows quickly as he turns toward Steve. He takes a deep breath before saying calmly. “Steve sleeps with a body pillow he calls Peggy.”
Steve sputters not knowing where to go from here. Your face is bright red and you are unable to look Bucky in the eye. Bucky has sat down on the nearby chair and is staring at his hands. Sam’s chest is heaving while sending daggers toward your form. Finally you say, “No one hears about this agreed?”
“Agreed” the boys all reply in unison. Sam slowly backs his way out of the room not daring to look at Steve.
Steve begins to walk down the hall toward his room saying, “I am going to take a nap.” Realizing what he said he looks horrified and runs out of the room.
Bucky gets up from his chair wiping his hands on his black sweatpants finally looking up to meet your eyes. You both stare at each other not knowing what to do.
“Y/n, I - I don’t mind if you use my sweatshirts.” Bucky says with a lopsided smile.
You look at him with a shy smile of your own, walking towards him so you are but a few inches apart. “I don’t mind that you’re in love with me, cause I love you too.”
You push your lips on to his and he returns the kiss feverently. He moves his metal hand to your waist making you gasp slightly, while his human hand cups your face gently. After a few moments you break apart breathless. You can’t help the little laugh that escapes you. Bucky gives you a questioning look and fond smile.
“A sex dream and a body pillow?” You grin at him pressing your forehead against his chest. You could feel the rumble of laughter in his chest.
The next morning you walked in the dining room where everyone was sitting enjoying their breakfast. You took the open seat between Nat and Bucky with a slight grin on your face. You push up the sleeves of Bucky’s hoodie that you are wearing, he smiles and puts his arm around your chair rubbing his hand against your shoulder.
Nat and Clint immediately notice this change in your and Bucky’s seating arrangements. Nat meets eyes with Sam and motions towards Bucky’s arm around you and the small circles he was tracing on your shoulders. Clint looks at Steve and points toward you and the sweatshirt that has Brooklyn across it. The same sweatshirt Bucky wears everywhere.
You look up and meet Sam and Steve’s smirking faces. Sam opens his mouth and points towards you with his spoon. Just as he is about to say something, you smile at him and ask, “Have a good dream last night?”
His face immediately drops. You feel Bucky’s arm shaking with silent laughter, he looks up at his best friend and says, “You sleep okay pal?”
Steve’s face flushes turning everything from his neck to the tips of his ears red. You turn and meet Bucky’s eyes and bite your lip. Only releasing it to give Bucky a kiss on the cheek. Clint and Natasha look at each other not exactly sure what was going on. Nat turns to you with a curious look on her face, “What the hell is happening here.”
You turn to Nat with a cheeky smile, “Can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”
Auntie Jilly, where can I start out my fabulous older goth wardrobe? I'm 35 and decided I love things that are your aesthetic and love your outfits, and I wanting to branch out from my rut of yoga pants and t shirts. Where can I find patterns or inexpensive skirts and blouses and vests in roughly a size 16-18?
ChicStar (www.chicstar.com) has a pretty good range of blouses and skirts for reasonable(ish) prices. They USED to have the perfect vest, but have since discontinued it.
Torrid and Hot Topic (which does plus sizes now!) actually occasionally have good elder goth pieces: they’ve done some cute frock coats, military jackets, and tailcoat vests. And if you’re willing to sign up for their mailing lists, they’re always running some sort of sale or discount code.
Holy Clothing (www.holyclothing.com) have a lot of wonderful flowy blouses and skirts at various prices, and often have discount codes through their mailing list. However, be warned: while Holy Clothing has wonderful things, they used to use g*psy in their descriptions. But I’m not seeing it on their site now, so perhaps they’ve finally learned better.
As for patterns: I don’t know. I don’t really sew garments from scratch, because I am a lazy, lazy sewer AND I hate reading patterns. Do any of the rest of you peeps have suggestions?
Lucifer always thought yoga was for girls, but after losing a bet with his brother he is forced to try it himself. He is completely annoyed - until the instructor shows up. Suddenly, yoga doesn’t seem so bad anymore. It turns out Lucifer needs a lot of help with his poses though and Sam is very supportive. Somehow his hands stay on Lucifer much longer than on any other person he helps though and after their class is over, they stay a little longer - in many other places and with much less clothes beneath them. Lucifer has to admit that losing this bet wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened.
It’s mental health month and I am angry. Schools and their emphasis on ‘mental health’ makes me sick to my stomach. Mental health is not just “oh yeah let’s put a few posters up about how to STAY POSITIVE TO PREVENT CLINICAL DEPRESSION!” It is so sickening. Trivialising mental illness is the worst possible thing you can do. Mental illnesses should be treated with tact. The stigma of OCD being a 'symmetry disorder’ needs to stop. Depression isn’t seen as a chemical imbalance in the brain. It’s seen as something you can control. Bipolar disorder is seen as a few mood swings. Schizophrenia is 'being a bit loopy’. Eating disorders are 'a diet gone too far’. This is so wrong and damaging. There are posters all over schools saying things like; “DO YOGA AND DON’T GET DEPRESSED” “SHARE PROBLEMS” “WELLBEING!” Yes, taking care of your wellbeing and sharing your problems have a massive impact. But they are not going to cure a mental illness. I wish they could. But they can’t. I quote Dodie Clark; “Mental health isn’t just blowing on our thumbs to stop panic attacks.” A panic attack is not feeling nervous. It is feeling like you’ve been pushed underwater and you’re gasping for air with your thoughts spinning. Mental health needs to be taken seriously and not be seen as a trendy thing that is desirable. I don’t want to come off as if I’m saying it’s a big bad scary wolf because it’s not. It grabs you by the leg and chows you down whole.
Requested by @blacklittlepill: request: can you please make an imagine in which you are in a
bad day and your self esteem is so low lately and you start comparing
yourself with other girls and do not feel good enough for shawn and he
tries to calm you down being as cute as he can?
Note: NEVER think you’re not good enough for someone and NEVER compare yourself to others, because they are not YOU and you are amazing.
“And what do you think about her?” The interviewer shoves his mic towards Shawn.
“Camilla?” He asks.
“Yes, what do you think about her?”
“She’s super nice and really funny and bad at teaching Spanish!” He laughs.
“Do you see something between the two of you?”
Shawn licks his lips and pauses, looking irritated as the question is asked.
“No, I actually have a girlfriend. A girlfriend that I love very much, so thank you. I’m done with this interview, but it was nice speaking to you, man.” Shawn leaves quickly, the interview ending.
You roughly slam the top of your laptop shut, feeling infuriated.
Spring is here!!! Shorts are getting shorter and T-shirts are turning into tank tops!! You look around and see smooth, hairless skin. You look at yourself and think “Caterpillar!”
Well let me tell you something, ladies and gentlepeople! Having body hair does not make you unfeminine! Shaving your body is a joke! If you feel uncomfortable handling a razor or don’t have time to perform extreme Shower Yoga, don’t bother! You are beautiful anyway!
Remember, the more displeased you are with your body not conforming to society’s standards of beauty, the more money rich old white men make off of your unhappiness.
Trans girls/femme nonbinaries for whom body hair is a source of dysphoria, feel free to shave! Go out and buy fancy-ass razors and the most luxurious of shaving creams and gels! Make your bod as smooth as sea glass! Be beautiful however you want!
Tl;dr: Body hair, or the lack thereof, does not determine how feminine or masculine you are!!!!