yoga imitation

Here is part one of two with some yoga headcanons: this one features hot yoga

  • Coran wanted to be the instructor; he feels that he is properly qualified to teach Earth yoga despite never doing it himself and only having the very weak imitations of yoga from the others to go off of. He ends up throwing Altean exercise routines in which only makes everything more chaotic.
  • Allura and Shiro are really the only ones who can do everything right. Allura finds this very relaxing and not the least bit strenuous. Shiro’s not as stretchy as he’d like to be but has good balance and posture.
  • Lance is Dying but refuses to show it. Heat and yoga are not going to get the better of him, dangit. He keeps trying to make it a competition with Keith, who really doesn’t care and wonders why he’s even here.
  • The heat never bothered Keith anyway.
  • Hunk actually does really well except he keeps slipping on the mats and almost injuring himself. There’s just too much sweat and humidity.
  • Pidge almost overextends herself several times trying to keep up with Coarn and is really, really hating the heat and how sweaty she is.
  • The mice are also joining in and are rocking this hot yoga thing.
  • psychic: *reading my mind*
  • me: here we go, the whiskering begins. gimme your face. no pressure. nose pressure ahahahhaha pa ching and pa zam. your nose is quite a nice texture today. today? that face is not helping. no, no, no, no. how do I look? pretty great. fabulous. aw aw. whiskening achieved. let's answer some Qs. that's an X. you had one job, phil. *clapping* what happens in the basement of google? it's where vloggers are born. mother. would you rather have barbed wire eyelashes, ow, or grass hair? uh, grass hair. why? get a tiny mower, different style everyday. brrr brrr brrr. is canada real? uh, no. it's a fictional country, isn't it? I was aboot to say. *finger snapping* advertise the item closest to you in the most disturbing way you can. it's actually a pair of my underwear which was on the floor. that is your underwear? oh my god. underwear? watch out for an under-scare! disturb not make the worst pun ever. sorry. do a creepy face! *dramatic music* oh wow, that's horrific *weird noises* nooo, no no no no. phil, sing the first song that comes into your head in a scottish accent. oh, I don't know what song is in my head. what the what was that? ow. rekt. no. that was like a russian no. what the fuck was that? there's a russian man in my stomach. I think phil's trying to drop hints that's he's a cannibal, guys. rrr. play tug of war with phil's stress mushroom. what is the stress mushroom? they mean this baby. no, not that. I hate that. No! *struggling* no *more struggling noises* Oh. there's wet stuff in it- OH MY GOD -what is this?-WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENED? rest in peace, disturbing mushroom. do the next question in dan's room. invent a new swear word and use it in a sentence. alright, ch-chanksplooned. alright, go on then. yeah, I chanksplooned your mom's face. do we wanna know what does chanksplooned-ok. what would be written on your tombstone? oh phil, there was never a better king of the universe. for god's sake. what's on yours, dan? ugh. dan, you're a penguin with rabies and phil, you're a mouse that's constipated. *weird noises* have a staring contest with dan while barking like dogs. whoever laughs first, wins. (?) 3, 2, 1. *barking noises* AH HA HA. y'all laughed. invent something that not one person would ever use. a bed made out of smashed glass. I wouldn't use it. fair enough. phil, sing the john cena theme while dan pretends to be john cena. *john cena theme* ow haha ow I knew that was coming *laughter* do an impression of a dying goose *weird noise* what the hell was- oh my god. *laughter* *weird noise* make a duet about ladders. ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders- who would(?) you step on them and you climb-ladders ladders ladders ladders- they're made of metal, they go up-ladders ladders ladders- if you're a fireman, they're really high. laddeeeerss. ladders ep. that's the symbol of our band. everyone put out their ladder hands. yeah, that's what the crowd's gonna be doing to our concerts. YEAH, LADDERS AH. you just broke the sound barrier. that's what happens when you go fast, you idiot. what the f- oh my god. become a season. oh oh wha what was that? oh, it's spring. you were birthing something. phil, what vegetable should be king? the op-carrot? scroll through your camera roll without looking, choose a random picture and explain the story. scroll scroll scroll STOP. I- I was witnessing nature in action. and taking sneaky photos of it, you perv. HAHAHA. what is happening in this photo? it looks like I'm in a public toilet mid-blink. wow. *bad beatboxing* dan, you're a nacho. phil, you're the salsa. make fanfic. I'm just so dry and crusty and until I just get inside you and submerged myself in your red juices. DIP ME - I can't get into myself-DIP ME DIP ME DIP ME AH DIP DIP AHH AHHH AAAHHH AHHH I'M COMPLETE MMMM MMM. stop it. let's all take a moment to just forget that happened. what is your favorite number of the alphabet? seventy-L. how dry is your wenis? wait, I know what your wenis is! ayee, ayee. it's this. mine's pretty soft. this is your wenis. let me stroke your wenis. that is a smooth wenis. tickle my wenis? *laughter* pretty soft as well. damn, guys. moisturized wenii. ah, let's just move on. let's move on. say a really unerotic word in a sexy voice and then lick your lips. exhaust pipe. OH *disgusted voice* OH I FEEL VIOLATED. concrete. *laughter* nooo. play the spoons. my grandma actually used to play the spoons so, prepare yourselves. *metal sounds* spoons. look up friendship yoga and imitate the first image. what? what the hell is that? HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT? so, we sit on our butts, not on our backs and make sure you're kinda like resting on your butt then feet together and then hands. reach. ah, I got one. and the other one. ow. ok. wait, wait, wait. alright now, over to the top. friendship. ow. *laughter* ow ow oh my god I pulled my leg oh oh. we have a very low friendship level otherwise that clearly would've worked. disaster. phil, reenact the photo of chris pratt and his raptors using house plants. I've got this. oh, god. here it is. ok, phil, very well done. *clapping* I'm so proud. that's pretty- you have a problem though. you seriously- I am chris plant. oh, did you just? do a trust exercise. no, no, no that's not a good idea. I'm actually scared. phil, you better-I'm gonna catch you. fall. oh my god. fall. AH OH OH MY GOD OH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH. your scream was incredible. YOU CAUGHT ME. I did. I DIDN'T DIE. Yeah. let's end this right now. So, there we go. thumbs up for another year of phil is not on fire. I'm quite shocked that I actually lived through this video-yeah- it was quite dangerous. You can click on phil's face to subscribe to his channel or my face to subscribe to dan. or click our bellies to subscribe to danandphilgames. is that a thing? give em a little tickle. ok. also, there's loads of new stuff on dan and phil shop so check the out- check that out- there's a link below. and we will see you guys next year. yeahh. i mean, we are gonna make videos but until this, the whiskers will return- there, there will be another of this. ACHOO. uh, sorry. I think that that's a good time to end it. Goodbye. *slow motion screaming*
  • psychic: what the actual fuck